Month: August 2018

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Finding My Way

Then the Pharisees and scribes asked Him, “Why do Your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashed hands?”-Mark 7: 5

And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”- Mark 7: 20-23

A conversation between friends that made me think differently about the Pharisees and myself.

Every time I read about Jesus’ interactions with the Pharisees, I am faced with two options. I could look at the Pharisees as a people completely different from me. Consequently, I judge them because I want to make it clear that they are distinct from me. In my mind, I could consider myself being better than them because I can see Jesus’ point of view clearly. Then I am reminded of another gospel passage where Jesus reveals in a parable the inner thoughts of a Pharisees regarding a tax collector. It is exactly my attitude that I just mentioned. By judging a Pharisee, I inevitably become more like them.

The other option is for me to be more sympathetic towards them. I can make an attempt to understand them. After all, they were genuinely religious people who wanted to live their lives in a way worthy of their spiritual vocation. I can appreciate this. I want to do the same. Their main aim was to prepare themselves for the coming of the Messiah. Somehow they lost their way and became his enemies. Unfortunately, this is a more terrifying option. Everything indicates that in my fervent religiosity I can unknowingly become the enemy of the very person I am trying to serve.

Either option comes back to me in the negative. Whenever Jesus confronted the Pharisees for their limited way of interpreting God’s actions in this world, His words are also a challenge to me. I am a potential Pharisee or maybe I am already full-fledged Pharisee and I just don’t know it. I hope that there is a way out of this dilemma. Perhaps I need to ask the right questions and the conversation we had with our friends helped.

They are a couple. They both work in two different high-end shopping malls. They have the same clientele. It is not uncommon for them to meet people who spend exorbitant amounts every month of money on clothes. In some countries, this may not be a problem. However, in this city, everyday it is not uncommon to see families living and sleeping in the streets. Then my friends encounter people who spent what others earn in a year on one single trip to their store. The contrast is too great for anyone to ignore. Two different people had two contrasting opinions about their clients. One was more honest and perhaps even brutal. The other tended to be more appeasing and gracious, perhaps a little bit out of touch with reality. One is right and the one is wrong. This is what we like to imagine. In reality, it is not a question of who is right or wrong. Each of them have created a way of thinking that helps them deal with their reality. They chose to see only certain aspects of reality, perhaps one has a better grasp of truth than the other. Nevertheless, this is not the point. As human beings, we create a rational order in our head to survive in this world. We have to carefully choose our “truths” to help us function in this world. Naturally it also means that some things have to be discarded or ignored. We construct a world that helps us understand why things are the way they are so that we go on with life…until Someone comes disrupts everything. They don’t just disrupt our comfortable world, they also make it inconvenient for us to go on thinking like we used to do.

Our children and teens have devised a way of reasoning out their reality. They use all the tools available to them to create this world. Their religious background, their positive and negative experiences with people, the words they have heard said about them, things they observed in life in general; all these are prime materials to construct their world. However, the world we create in our minds is not invincible or impenetrable. It is imperfect and therefore vulnerable. It cannot resist change especially when it is confronted with Love. True perfect Love disrupts our world. This is why lovers are frequently disoriented. The fabric of their created reality falls apart when confronted with Love. It is possible to reject Love in order to persist in our limited concept of reality. It seems like a high price to pay. Unfortunately people do it all the time and I could be one of them, just like the Pharisees.

These Pharisees are a pain, not because they rejected Jesus, but because of who they were. It would have been easier if they were rogues with total disregard for anything religious. Unfortunately, they were self-consciously obedient to the Law. They wanted to be the ones who usher in the glorious reign of the Messiah. They followed everything religiously so to speak and thought that this alone was sufficient. Therefore, I cannot fall into this trap of complacency. As I tried to figure out a way to avoid this pitfall, the concept of virtues kept coming up. Coincidentally, several days later, I stumbled upon a lecture given by an agnostic history professor in Brazil and his topic was on the cardinal virtues. He advocated the return to virtuous living to live a complete life. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit leading me. It is strange that I hardly hear cardinal virtues spoken in churches. It seems like something we should hear among those who want to be like their Lord. Jesus was the embodiment of all what philosophers described as the complete life. He manifested all the virtues. St Paul dedicated a significant portion to Jesus’ humility in his letter to the Philippians and he was a Pharisee before.

In our ministry, humility means recognizing that the world that I have constructed in my head is the not the perfect world for everyone. That entails that I have to listen and learn how our children and teen have constructed their lives. My role is not to judge their fabrications because humility reminds me that I also have fabricated a world. We all live in worlds that are a mixture of fantasy and reality. Therefore, we cannot judge people by the standards of our imaginary concept. This leaves us with only one thing. Regardless of how people decide to see the world, Love is something that transcends all artificial realities. In the words of a former Pharisee,

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.- I Corinthians 13:2

Virtues make me realize that I need Love. This is what I understand for now. However, there is a long journey ahead of me.

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Difficult Symbols

“Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live forever.” He said these things while he was teaching in the synagogue at Capernaum. When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?” -John 6:56-60

Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him.  So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?”- John 6:66-67

Bruna and Wanderson went to Mass.

I feel like I am starting this in the middle. The beginning is a little strange and perhaps may seem even a little unrelated. However, this is the way I began in my reflection. Therefore, I am going to start the way my meditation began. In a convoluted way, it has something to do with the disturbing words of Jesus.

His words brought me back to 1993, my first time in Brazil, before I started working with the children. I walked passed a store with a sign that said “religious artifacts”. A statue of an elderly black gentleman dressed in a white suit smoking a pipe stood at the entrance. My curiosity was perked. I walked in and discovered a completely different religious world. Everything in the store was connected to worship but apparently nothing was directly related to Christianity. There were deities of all shapes and sizes and they appeared to be of African origin tinged with some European influence. There was a statue of St George, at least that’s what it said. It was nothing like the ones I have seen in the church’s stained glass windows. The old Black Man in white suit was apparently very important. He was represented in many of the images. There was a deity with a ferocious dog-like face which reminded me of a personality in Indonesian folklore. The most unsettling one was the figurine that looked very much like the devil of our imaginations, all red including the horns. I had to ask about this particular one. The store owner said that he just sold the items and denied any knowledge of its significance. He wasn’t very convincing. However, I did not want to pursue it. I left the shop convinced that satanic worship was alive and present in Brazil. Now, I am a little older and slightly ashamed that I jumped to such conclusions, not to mention, that such an attitude is also disrespectful. Thankfully, I kept my opinion to myself. I still don’t know what all the deities represented. I will never understand it because it is not my religion or my faith. They have a mythology where all these symbols and personalities fit in perfectly. I can read about them but I will always remain an outsider. They will always seem strange and unnerving to me but it doesn’t make them evil. I don’t remember anywhere in the gospels Jesus going around passing judgments on other religions. However, Jesus did do something quite disturbing. He told us that unless we become like cannibals we cannot be part of Him. At least, this is what it would sound like to an outsider. It is easy to jump to conclusions when you are an outsider.

Now, I can go to back to Bruna and Wanderson. They went to Mass. They heard the words, “Take and eat, this is my Body” and “Drink, this is my Blood which was given for you.” They went to a Roman Catholic Church where doctrine teaches that the Bread and Wine in a mysterious way become the Body and Blood of Christ. They take the words of Jesus quite literally. Different branches of Christianity have tried to tone down it and make His words more feasible. Something which our Lord Himself refuses to do. Instead, He intensified it. He said, “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him” (John 6:56). The word, ‘eat’ in original Greek could mean to gnaw. Jesus was really putting a lot of emphasis on chewing and eating of His body. The part still makes us cringe a little bit if we think about it deeply. However, Bruna and Wanderson heard these words and they did not feel uncomfortable. It made sense to them because they were not outsiders. It is not that they were ignorant of its implications. These words are very simple and extremely profound. Their meaning is never lost to those who have ears and eyes to see the Truth. They did not need to have access to sophisticated theological explanation to make sense of everything. I am not sure if most theologians understand the true significance of Jesus’ words. Wanderson and Bruna understood what was offered to them. Perhaps, if I asked them to explain it to me, they would be lost for words. However, they knew that Jesus was offering something marvelous to them. Jesus was inviting them to become part of His body.

They went to Mass, not because they were forced into doing it. They noticed that some Franciscan friars were saying mass in the public square. It was open to everyone. Bruna wanted to go and Wanderson agree to go with her. They stayed until the end. I am not sure if they partook in the Communion. They never said much about it. They just wanted us to know that they went to Mass.

The following day, I was reading with Wanderson. After we got done, he stood up and approached a homeless man whose arms and legs were bandaged. He looked as if he had suffered a very bad accident. Wanderson sat next to him and whispered something to him gently. He wasn’t aware that I was paying attention to his actions. They spoke for a few minutes and then he came back to where I was. He did not say anything about his conversation. Then few days later, there was another homeless man who was clearly mentally-ill and looked very much lost in the streets. Wanderson did the same thing again. He got up and approached the man and spoke to him. This time I had to ask. He told me that the Mass he attended was to give thanks for the inauguration of a new shelter for homeless adults. He wanted these people to know that there was a place for them to be safe. He said that he encountered a homeless man the day before who was initially quite aggressive towards him and then later when he calmed down, he asked Wanderson’s help to find the shelter. Ever since the mass, he has been on the lookout to help homeless adults who seem lost and helpless in the streets.

I don’t know if they partook in the communion. However, Wanderson encountered something good and wonderful and now he looks for people with whom he can share this goodness. It is almost as if Jesus is manifesting Himself in Wanderson’s life to those who suffer and are lost. Just recently, he asked me if I go to Mass every day. I said no. The conversation ended there and he did not explain why he asked the question.

Jesus did not come to be our Teacher. He came to offer Himself so His Life can shine through us. It is more than being like Him. Jesus wants His body and blood to dwell in us. Actually, the opposite is true. He wants us to dwell in Him. To an outsider, these just sounds like words of a crazy person. Someone who hears these words and some how understands their true meaning can agree with St Peter when he responded to Jesus, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”- John 6:68-69

You don’t have understand everything as long as you sense in your soul that there is Life in these words.

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The Bread of Life

No one can come to me unless drawn by the Father who sent me; and I will raise that person up on the last day. John 6:44

We have had only random and brief encounters with her. It would be safe to say that we have seen her less than five times throughout our time here. When we first met, she was 14. She had just got out the youth detention center. She was caught for stealing. She did not look like the kind of person who would steal or do anything bad. She has an open face; it is radiant and joyful and full of life. It was hard to imagine that she would be able to engage in any crime. On the other hand, it is hard to imagine why a child like her would be in alone in the streets. Such is life and there is not much benefit lamenting about the states of things. We don’t want to get bogged down with these abstract discussions. This story is about a real person named Camila.

It was easy to talk with Camila. Our first conversation was brief. We hardly spoke about anything of substance. She told us that she was released from the detention center to a shelter. This was the only thing I remember. Her friends came almost immediately and away she went. We did not see her again until about two years later.

This time she had grown a lot. She was taller than me but her face was still childlike. She approached us. Our first meeting was so short that it was impossible for us to recognize her after all this time. This was her first question. She wanted to know if we remembered her. To be honest, we could not recall her name but her face looked familiar. She was not offended. She reminded us and shared that she was doing well in a shelter for teenagers. She just came by the streets to visit some of her friends. She assured us that she was not going back to live the streets again. She did not stay long. There was a curfew at the shelter.

We met in two different occasions after this and they were very recent, perhaps earlier this year. She is 18 now. She is out of the shelter because she was officially an adult. We ran into her as she was getting all her documents together on her own. She told us that she found a place to stay. It was a small artisan community that occupied an abandoned historic house. They sell their art from time to time and do some social projects. We visited the community before. It was a good place for her. She told us that she got all her documents together so that she could go back to school. She was determined to complete her education. She described an incident in her attempt to register in a school. The lady at the counter was rude and disrespectful to her. She told her that she could not register for classes because she lacked certain documents. Camila decided that she wasn’t going to get upset. Instead she addressed the woman in a dignified manner and asked what she was lacking and went on to get these documents. She told us that she was determined to move forward and no one or nothing was going to make her give up. She showed us all the document she got and Mary helped her organize them in an orderly manner. Camila smiled and said that we are always so affectionate towards her. It was strange because we hardly spent any time with her.

The last time we saw her was when my sister was here visiting from Australia. We were on our way to where the children were and ran into Camila. She found a job in a hair salon and she was on her way home to have lunch. She saw us and gave us hug, she even hugged my sister. Everyone that is connected to us is her friend. I introduced my sister to her and Camila told her that we were a tremendous help to her. We tried to correct her and said that we hardly did anything for her. She achieved these things on her own. She disagreed. She insisted that we helped her. It was good for our ego but it is not the truth. At the same time, I understand what Camila is trying to say.

I was talking to another friend about Camila. He was once involved in a team that ministered to sex workers. The owner of a brothel invited them to have a religious service on the premises. It is best not to ponder too much on this complex invitation. It is enough to say that there was a prayer service among sex workers. Almost everyone attended except for one young woman. She was mostly indifferent and sometimes even hostile. My friend and his team thought that she was a lost cause and hardly paid any attention to her. Interestingly, today she is the only one from the brothel that left the lifestyle and now goes to church regularly. She credits the team for her transformation. My friend thinks otherwise. She transformed the way he thought about ministry and God. It is God who draws people to Himself and not our efforts or talents. We have nothing to do with what God does in the streets. Maybe some will find this hard to accept in practice. We want to believe that we can make things happen. However, nothing can be done if God doesn’t do it first.

We are not the Bread of Life. We are not the purveyors of the Truth. We are not the solution to the problems of abandonment and isolation. We don’t have what it takes to change people’s lives. Someone who thinks that all these things are within their power are gravely mistaken and they will reap the fruits of disappointment. Strategies, programs and good preaching do not produce the Bread of Life or life itself for that matter. These are our feeble attempts. Only God can draw people unto Himself. Therefore, the question is what is our role in all of this? Camila and the young lady in the brothel encountered life without any contribution from our part. We might wonder if it is even necessary for any of us to do anything since God is doing such a excellent job by Himself. Well, God definitely doesn’t need us to do anything but He invites us to be present when He acts. Besides, if we have tasted the Bread of Life, it would only make sense that we want to present where Life abounds.

Camila was born into a world that gave her nothing but death. She was rejected by her family. She never mentions her family. They are completely out of the picture. She was sent to a prison cell without any windows when she was only fourteen. Everything she experienced was pointing towards death. However, she encountered life in the valley of the shadow of death. Her ears were attentive to the voice of the Good Shepherd who guides her continuously. She constantly acknowledges God’s guidance upon her life. Camila and the lady that my friend encountered at the brothel are miracles. They reveal to us the power of the gospel. Camila believes that we helped her. We did absolutely nothing but God used us. We don’t know how. Perhaps she could see that it was the Bread of Life that has brought us here. Only God’s grace can do such things.

It is normal for us to wonder if we are doing anything substantial when we try to reach out to people. I am not talking about just us. I am talking about all of us who have partaken in the Bread of Life. The answer to this is that is not relevant. We are not the ones who draw people to Jesus. Everything is done by the Spirit.
The Spirit of God brings us to places and people and more often than not we might find ourselves not knowing what to say or do for them. Maybe we are mistaken in thinking that we are supposed to do something. Maybe the Life that flows in us wants to shine for these people and give them the hope that they are always included in the banquet where the Bread of Life is graciously served. Maybe each person that has tasted the Bread of Life is like an invitation card to those who hunger for eternity in this world. We just need to be present and let the Life that dwells in our soul do the rest.

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