Lenten 2018

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There is a Light: A Good Friday Meditation

When Jesus had received the wine, he said, “It is finished.” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

We find ourselves at the foot of the Cross again. Some try to bypass it. However, life always brings us back to the Cross. We cannot avoid it. We cannot say anything relevant to this world without confronting it. It is strange that many Neo-Evangelical churches in Brazil will be empty this Friday. They are the largest Protestant congregations and yet they don’t observe Good Friday. They are still obsessed with the doctrinal wars. They say that it is a Catholic tradition and they don’t want any part of it. They have allowed doctrinal conflicts to rob them of an opportunity to reflect on the Cross. However, they still celebrate Easter. Can Easter be meaningful without a moment at the foot of the Cross?

It is Easter that has brought us to the Cross. All Christians remember this day because of the reality of the Resurrection. When we look at the Cross, the Light of Easter warms our souls. It is impossible for us to experience that fateful day like the first disciples. We hear the pain and suffering of our Lord in the Passion readings. We can imagine the dread and hopelessness of the situation but the Light of the Resurrection still comforts us. The Cross for us will always be a sign of hope. It was not so for the first disciples. They saw their hopes and dreams being decimated when they heard the words, “It is finished.” For us, these words are words of Hope. For them, it was literally an end of what they believed to be a new beginning.

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” John 20:29

We are blessed as Jesus said. We have faith to believe without seeing. The first disciples had to witness the horrendous situation. The scene devastated their souls. We can’t imagine what Mother Mary felt when she saw her Son being tortured and humiliated. The disciples, especially, his close friends, just stood there and watched and felt helpless. They could not do anything about it. Jesus told Peter to put away his sword. It was the only way he knew how to defend Jesus. Without it, he was lost. He denied his best friend because he did not know what else he could do for Jesus.

We can never share in their despair and loneliness. We might feel a sense of mournfulness. It is something we can conjure up within ourselves. However, we still stand at the foot of the Cross with this powerful knowledge; all is not lost! We are truly blessed to know this in our souls. We did not learn it. It was given to us. Now, the Cross asks us the question; what are we going to do with our blessed status?

Being blessed in this situation means that our eyes are opened to see something deeper and greater than what is presented to us. It is a gift that comes with great responsibility. We are given the privilege to comfort those who are like the first disciples. There are many like them around today. There are countless women like Mother Mary who see the light in their sons and daughters disappear forever in an cruel manner. There are many like the disciples whose hopes and dreams are shattered with one cruel blow. There are those who think that life only dishes out loneliness and suffering for them. They are at the foot of the Cross. They see Jesus hanging on the tree. They are unable to see the Light that shines brightly behind the Cross.

Many of our children take comfort in the suffering of Jesus. However, they cannot see the Light of the Resurrection. They share the same sentiment as the first disciples. They feel the pain of Jesus when He cried out,

“Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46

They are not angry with God. They just feel abandoned.

We see the Light at the foot of the Cross. It is our privilege and our duty to stand at the foot of the Cross and testify that all is not lost by God’s grace. However, we cannot do this unless we are willing to stand with those who cry in despair and share their grief. If we just point at the Light without participating in their pain, then we will be discarded as optimistic fools. Besides, we cannot make people see the Light but the same faith that opens our eyes to see the Light can open our hearts and minds to participate in their pain and suffering. Only then, we can talk about hope. Only then, they will know that we have something to offer.

The way of the Cross is a way of pain and joy. It sounds like a paradox but only for those who refuse to face the reality of this life. We cannot talk about the joy of this life if we are not willing to participate in the pain. Jesus knew about the eternal joy of His Kingdom but He needed to endure the Cross first. Only then, the Truth of His Kingdom could be clearly understood. We know that Easter is the foundation of our faith but it does not excuse us from being at the foot of the Cross with those who suffer and are abandoned in this world. Jesus is crucified constantly in this world, it is our privilege to be present at these places and testify that there is a Light that never dies.

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The Enigma of Palm Sunday

Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields. Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David! Hosanna in the highest heaven!”- Mark 11:7-10

I have a love-hate relationship with Alex. Well, hate is too strong a word. I can’t really say that I dislike him as well. I get annoyed with him. We see him all the time begging for food and money. We usually walk up to him and say, “Hello.” He gives us his usual blank stare and then continues to do whatever he is doing. He gives us nothing in return. No “hello”, no smile, just complete silence and indifference. We know him well enough not to take offense. However, sometimes it is hard. I mentioned before that he was severely neglected as a child and consequently he has become socially awkward. He constantly begs for money. It doesn’t really help. It makes him treat people as a mere means to an end. If you add cocaine to this mix, the situation gets even more complex.

Today, however, was the first time he approached us after two months.

He came up with another boy. the other boy was new and behaved in a manner that revealed some signs of being mentally challenged. Alex introduced Lucas to us. He ran away from an orphanage yesterday. We asked Lucas about his orphanage and he got defensive. He was suspicious of us. After all, he just met us. He thought that we were going to report him. Alex quickly assured him. He explained that we are here to help and guide them. He further mentioned that we don’t force anyone to do anything they feel uncomfortable doing. He emphasized that we are completely trustworthy. This is interesting. Alex is more aware of what we do than we realized. Besides, there was something remarkably different about him today. His eyes were dancing with excitement. His face lit up with his beautiful smile which has been dormant for the past few months. Alex felt alive again and he did not need any drugs.

Alex asked if I had any letters for him. I know that this is quite random but Alex is just like that. I happened to have an old Christmas card. He took it from my hand and showed it to Lucas. He explained that people from Florida write in English and they pray for him and the other children and teens. He was really impressed that I spoke English. I don’t think that Alex has figured out that I am not a Brazilian despite my accent. Then, he asked if I could get someone to write to Lucas. He thought that it would do him some good. Our new friend looked horrified. He said, “No!” with much conviction. I tried to placate him by saying that I won’t do anything without his permission. Besides, all these letters flow naturally out of our relationship with the children. I explained to Alex that Lucas needs to know us first. Lucas just sat there looking very uncomfortable. He was afraid and lost but tried to put up a tough exterior. Even Alex who is usually clueless of such things ‘whispered’ loudly to us that he thought Lucas was not right in the head. He was worried that the older teens might take advantage of him.

Suddenly all the images of a grumpy and unfriendly Alex vanished from my mind. They were replaced with memories of the Alex that ran up to us and asked us to help a mute boy. I recalled how one day Alex went up to a sick homeless adult and offered him some juice. There is something new to build upon. He wants to make sure that this boy who is not “all right in the head” will be safe and protected. Alex doesn’t have a messiah complex. He is not emotionally mature enough to develop such concept or desire. He is really just a good person hidden under all the side-effects of being neglected since birth. In moments like this, God gives Alex the opportunity to allow the goodness in him to shine. It seems like Alex never lets such moments slip by even though he is not the most socially aware teen. He is sensitive to pain and suffering and tries to help those whom he perceive as being in worse circumstances than him.

Mary tried to get Alex’s attention, not an easy task. Finally she told him, “Alex, you are a good person.” His eyes got brighter and he became more alive.

There is a strange connection to Palm Sunday. This was not the route I wanted to take in my reflection of this blessed day. However, Alex made me take a look at this episode from a different window.

I always thought that it was bizarre that people who welcomed Jesus with such love and devotion could so quickly turn against him. I thought perhaps that they were being hypocritical at first. Then their true nature was revealed at Jesus’ trial. However, Jesus always exposes hypocrisy and he did not consider their joyous reception as such. The people genuinely recognized in Jesus the triumphant messiah. They saw beyond his humble entrance on a mule. They saw that this King did not need the outward appearances of power and might. It was all within Him. He was the Light that they have been waiting for. They recognized it. They rejoiced in it. However, it was not enough for them to stop the Cross. It was not enough for them to stand up for their King whom they received with such joy and jubilation.

If we are honest, Palm Sunday reflects our human frailty. How many times do we receive a person with warmth and affection and then later in life, we find that we are no longer on talking terms with the person. Some of the worst enemies of people used to be their closest friends and even lovers. Just because we are excited about knowing and loving someone, it doesn’t mean that we will continue to see them in this loving light forever. I don’t know why but, as humans, we seem to vacillate between love and hate so easily.

I have this type of complex relationship with Alex. However, I realized in every genuine encounter we have with him we discover that the “hate” diminishes and the love grows stronger. If I had based my relationship on mere experiences, then I would have discarded my friendship with Alex a long time ago. However, our relationship with him grows because we are given special moments where we encounter the real Alex trapped in his body.

Many people are excited about Jesus today. Many Christians sing enthusiastically about God’s love and compassion in their churches with such passion and sincerity, we would think that they would willing be His instrument of love to those who are despised in the world. Unfortunately, we know from reality that many would step of their churches and be the first to cast the stone. Palm Sunday is a prophetic warning that just because we are enthusiastic about our faith doesn’t mean that we are living it. Being passionate is not the same as being a disciple.

I am not sure if the disciples of Jesus participated in the revelry when Jesus entered the city triumphantly. Perhaps they were a little confused. They heard Jesus talk about his imminent death and yet the crowd seemed to love him. They were just caught in the experience of the moment. The disciples knew Jesus and they had an inkling that all was not well.

I learn with our children and teens that there is a different between an encounter and experience. My daily experience with them could be pleasant or unpleasant and it depends a lot of outward circumstances. I can come to conclusions about their characters based on these experiences. I might vacillate between love and hate if I judge them merely based on experiences. However, encounters are divine moments. God gives us these moments so that we can glance into the souls of these children. It is in these moments where we can see God’s presence in their lives. Encounters help us overcome the cycle of love-hate.

The crowd had a pleasant experience with Jesus and then the whole thing turned sour. They were stuck in the cycle of love-hate. The disciples who were given a glimpse of Jesus’ true nature understood the Jesus was their only hope for Life. Judas was the only one who threw it away and he realized it. Everyday I am confronted with experiences, they may be good or bad. However, God wants us to wait for something better. He wants us to have genuine encounters with the children and these will help us understand the true meaning of Love.

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Perhaps it is just Thunder

Father, glorify your name. Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine.” John 12:28-30

As a Christian, I believe without a doubt that God indeed spoke. Those who claimed that it was thunder were just closed minded or, at least, that’s what I thought. They were the ones that Jesus mentioned previously; they have ears and yet they do not hear. I believe those who heard the voice of the angels. However, if truth be known, it is only on paper. If someone came up to me and said that they heard God’s voice spoken in an audible manner, I am more inclined to believe that they are confused. I would think to myself that they are just mistaken and most likely it was just thunder. I am not sure if I can honestly believe anyone who claims to have heard God’s voice audibly. Besides the world is replete with people who claim to hear God’s voice and many times, they only heard “thunder” and made the rest up.

I think that I might have just opened up a can of worms.

After all, I talk about God’s actions among the children and teens every week. Maybe it is all just “thunder” and I am doing some spiritual acrobatics to make everything look like God’s actions. Do I have any guarantee if the things I write about are real or are they mere wishful thinking? I am not sure if I want to go into this journey of self-exploration. Alas, the gospel text is leading me there.

In a way, it was a perfect week to contemplate on this. We spent the initial few days just sitting and waiting and no one showed up. The children and teens were around. They were busy. They were trying to get enough money to buy paint thinner so that they could spend the night getting high from it. We cannot convince ourselves that they are not coming up to us because they were doing something good. It was all bad. However, we have been doing this long enough to know that this is just temporary. We have had seasons like these and it will pass. Nevertheless, I have to be honest. The text above made me wonder if we are truly making any difference in the lives of these children and teens. Perhaps I am reading too much into their limited interactions with us. Maybe it was just mere “thunder” and I thought it was God.

I am not doubting our ministry here. I am merely questioning it. There is a difference. I think that I have just created another problem. Now it is incumbent on me to explain the difference. For starters, I don’t think that we are doing a useless task. I don’t believe that all this is a waste of time. However, I am questioning whether I am seeing things as they are or am I just imagining things so that I can go on from day to day? I wonder if I am really seeing God’s presence being manifested or is my mind just creating these narratives? It is not a bad question to ask. We talk about the Truth and it is pertinent that we ask ourselves such questions. God is present here. I don’t doubt this. However, I don’t want make Him make appear according to my fancy. I want to testify the Truth but I want to know if I am seeing the Truth clearly. I hope all this sounds confusing because it should. We are not talking about something finite. We are talking about an infinite God using limited vocabulary. It is bound to be confusing. However, I believe that it is still something that you can grasp.

Two days, no children or teens, no meaningful conversations. We were sitting and waiting and nothing happened. There was some thunder and lighting literally. It started pouring and we had to take refuge in a subway station before making dash for our home. I came home and there was a message. It was from Aline. I haven’t mentioned her name for years. We haven’t seen her for almost two years. She moved to a different area, still living in the streets but in another part of the city. Her message was simple and straightforward. She said that she missed us and asked if we could meet her which we did the very next day.

Aline grew up in an orphanage. Like most children in the orphanage, if they don’t have a place to go before they turn 18, they take to the streets. Aline ran away to the streets when she was 15. She is 20 now. We have know her for a long time. She was only one that actually had her birthday celebration in our home. I remember the day clearly. We told her that Mary baked a cake for her but it was in our apartment. She was hesitant to go at first. She confessed that she felt intimidated whenever she went to someone’s house. At the same, she was curious and it got the better of her. We had a great time celebrating her birthday. She did not appear to be uncomfortable in our home. We did have a very strong bond with her.

She arrived early and we were late. This is something different. She looked the same and no one would guess that she is 20. She still looks like a scrawny teenager. Her face was full of life and light. She is staying in a homeless shelter now. She wants to find a job. It hasn’t been easy. We asked her what she wanted to do with her life. She is an honest young woman. She said that she has no clue but she likes to clean. Maybe she can find work as a domestic help. We went for a short walk and she said that she wanted to see us more often. Mary thought about teaching her to make earrings. It is something Mary does very well. She liked the idea. We set a date for her to come to our apartment. She was happy when she said goodbye. She knew that she still had a place in our lives. We were happy that she wanted to be part of our lives.

Our relationship with Aline grew stronger when we had days where no one came to talk to us. Aline would stop by always to spend some time with us. She never liked to leave us alone. It is funny that she got in touch with us at a time when I was wondering if all these godly connections are just figments of my imagination. For a sceptic, all this could still be just mere “thunder”, or coincidences. He or she wouldn’t be wrong. Jesus never corrected those who thought it was thunder. He did say that those who heard God’s voice was for their own benefit. I guess I am never going to convince the “thunder people” of anything. However, we don’t hear God speaking to convince others that He is real. We hear His voice so that we know that He is really present in our lives. His presence makes our life richer.

We went the next day and sat and waited for the children and teens. They showed up and stayed with us for hours. As we got ready to leave, Wanderson said, “It is time for you to go already!” It was a good thing for him to say. It sounded like God’s voice to us or maybe it was just a “thunder”. It doesn’t matter. We know that it was for our benefit.

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A Preferential Option for Darkness

And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God. John 3:19-21

Someone handed a tract to me. It was like a mini comic book. Some of you may know what I am talking about. They have been around for a while. I was a teenager then. The tract was about the final judgment. A unrepentant sinner dies and stands before God. His whole life is played out like a movie for the world to see. Everything he did was exposed. It was his final humiliation before being subjected to eternal condemnation. I was already an active Christian when I read this tract. It did not make me feel anything positive about heaven or the final judgment. It seemed to be an horrifying thing. The God of this tract was just like an evil tyrant who takes delight in the humiliation of his enemies. Unfortunately, I still remember the images vividly even though it has been more than thirty years. Reading the gospel text above reminded me of it again.

It says that many preferred darkness rather then Light because their deeds were evil. If I thought that God was a terrible tyrant waiting to expose all my weaknesses and faults, then darkness might not be a bad option. For those who are accustomed to the darkness, the Light can be intimidating. It means being exposed for everyone to see your most intimate thoughts. It is quite scary even if you claim that you have nothing to hide.

To be honest, no one wants everything to be in the Light. We like some things of our life to be hidden. We don’t want everyone to know how we really think about ourselves and others. We don’t want our self-righteousness, our false humility, our hypocritical piety, our prejudices, our hatred of those more successful than others….out there in the open. It is a little uncomfortable writing about these things. Mainly because I don’t want anyone to think that this is a personal confession. I want to keep some things in the dark. I think that I just caught myself preferring the darkness rather than the Light. However, I do like the Light.

I am not alone. Almost everyone likes the Light but in small doses especially when it highlights our good side. There is a growing interest in spirituality. People are seeking for enlightenment but only in a limited manner, as long as it doesn’t require any inconvenient changes. Meditation retreats are quite common nowadays. I personally don’t think that this is bad. People who attend these meetings are learning to take a step into the Light and see themselves for who they are in the silence. I always associate Light and silence together. Perhaps it is the image I have of the creation narration in Genesis. There was utter silence and the Light came forth. However, enlightenment is not a weekend experience. It is a lifestyle. It is not an easy lifestyle. The Light is always revealing something about ourselves that needs to change. Sometimes, it is more comforting to leave some things in the dark.

This week was a strange week. We hardly met any of the other children and teens except for Bruno. I used to write quite often about him. Initially we had many wonderful and deep interactions with him. Then a wall came up between us. Bruno preferred to hide behind a world of fantasy. He made up stories that were obviously fictional. They are not lies. These are meant to deceive. Bruno does not have any intention to deceive us. He wants to hide away from the real world. He wants to hide in the darkness. It is comforting for him there. Our conversation has been frequently superficial. It is also limited to movies and many other things not worth writing about. Then one day this week, we found Bruno was in a more pensive mood. I suppose that I was in a different state as well. I asked questions about his life that I usually refrain from asking.

I asked him how he ended up in the streets and for the first time, he gave us an honest answer. He said that he lived in an orphanage since the age of ten. His mother gave him up when she was pregnant with his sister. He said that she preferred her to him. This is the most vulnerable statement I have ever heard coming from him. Previously he would invent a mother who showered him with gifts on his birthday. The only thing his mother has given him was her name. It is the only thing he remembers of her. She was supposed to leave him at the orphanage for a short period only. This was the agreement between her and the social worker. However, his mother moved away without any notice and abandoned him completely.

Bruno liked the orphanage but he knew that he could not stay there once he turned 18. He ran away before he could be rejected once more. He came to the streets with another boy and has never left ever since. He is about 22 now. It was the first time Bruno stepped of the darkness of lies and fantasy and revealed the tragic truth of his childhood. It was the first time after months that I was able to sense a genuine connection with him. In a strange way, I felt a little vulnerable too. He was sharing a poignant story and there was nothing I could say or do that would make it any better. Being in the Light reveals who we are. We are helpless beings who don’t have any answers when confronted with real problems.

Going back to the Genesis narrative, Adam and Eve ran away from the Light when they heard God approaching. Their reason for doing so was because they were naked. They were always naked but now they realized that they could not do anything about it. They did not want to exposed and vulnerable. They preferred the darkness rather to be revealed as being weak.

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Cleansing the Temple

The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” John 13:16

I began my week with the above gospel reading. My mind was still swirling from the violence we witnessed in my previous post. I needed something else to focus my attention. The cleansing of the temple didn’t seem to help. It appeared to be something too distant from our reality. In a different time and space, I would have said something about the commercialization of religion and then moved on from there. This would make sense in a middle class suburban context. However, our “church’ is a congregation of homeless children and teens. I know that there is something relevant in the gospel text. Unfortunately, my mind was still in turmoil and I was unable to quieten my soul. I don’t know why. Usually, I am able to get past these things and focus on the task in front of me. Maybe I needed to address some things. We waited for the children by the steps of the cathedral. No one came. It has been a while since we waited this long. Perhaps something has changed and I haven’t realized it.

Wallace eventually joined us. We hardly do anything with him. He has been in the streets for years. He is now about 23 and his birthday is in April. He asked us if we had a coloring book. He wanted to have a peaceful quiet time. We shared his sentiments. We sat there coloring. Tons of people walked passed us to go to visit the Cathedral. It is one of the most famous tourist spots. I remember last week a Spanish speaking tourist said that the square could be pretty place if it wasn’t so abandoned. It is a strange place, always crowded and yet, very much abandoned and neglected.

A bunch of high school students walked passed us. They were on a special excursion. The teacher saw us coloring with Wallace. His curiosity perked. He wanted to know who we were and the nature of our work. We spoke about our ministry. He was impressed. We smiled. He has to guide forty unruly teenagers from middle-class families around the busy city center. He is the impressive one. It was his turn to smile. He said that the violence is quite intimidating factor in the center. Once again, the dreaded word was spoken. Unfortunately, we heard another teacher close by relating to his colleagues about a robbery he witnessed just before coming here. Suddenly violence is taking the center stage here. Wallace just continued to color in silence. It is something he never gets to do in the streets when he is with the other teens.

Someone died in the streets yesterday. I hoped that it wasn’t due to violence. The square is always crowded with tons of homeless people sitting around and thousands of people who transit through the area. The firemen came to extract the body. We watched the incident from a distance but close enough to make out what was happening. We did not want to get any closer than necessary. The person most likely is going to be buried in an unmarked grave. Soon no one will remember that he or she ever existed. However, if the death was a result of violence, then people will talk about it for a while. It seems like violence tends to linger on longer in our memory than peaceful moments. Eventually, they will forget as well. Forgetting is inevitable. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Today, before we went to the streets, we saw a bunch of homeless adults having a heated argument. It was escalating. Behind them, there was a bunch of police cars parked but there were no police in sight. Violence was inevitable but everyone was powerless to prevent it. We have somewhere to be. Within a few minutes, we were at the steps of the Cathedral and waiting. No one came. It seemed like no one was going to show up. We decided to go home early. Then, as if they read our minds from a distance, Felipe and Bruno appeared, followed by Gabriel and Wanderson. We sat down and they were in the mood to talk. Our topic ranged from the death of the unknown person to the Bible. Nothing profound. They weren’t asking questions about the latter. They were telling us about it. Perhaps, they wanted us to know that the Bible wasn’t foreign to them. We patiently listened to Bruno explaining to us that the visions of the Book of Revelation were not literal but symbolic. He concluded his discourse by saying that God was going to destroy the world eventually. It was the same sermon we hear from the street preachers. Felipe interrupted Bruno and said that humans will destroy the world, not God. He added that we can see this in our everyday life.

Bruno knew that Felipe had said something profound. There was a competition going on between them. Bruno decided to switch the subject to where he has dominance. He asked me about a movie called, “A Serious Man”. It was a random choice but unbeknownst to him, it fitted in perfectly with our present conversation. The movie is a secular reimagining of the story of Job. Bruno wanted to know why he was a serious man. I explained that a serious man is a person who is sincere and resolute in fulfilling all his commitments. The movie is about a man who always does everything painstakingly right and yet nothing goes well for him. He loses his family, job and health. Felipe asked if God was testing him like in Job. I told him that to say that God is testing people might give us the wrong idea of God. It makes Him look like a mean person. It is better to say that God knows that Job’s devotion to God is genuine and not based on favorable circumstances. The series of unfortunate events that occurred to Job only proved to the world that Job was indeed a righteous man. The things that happened to Job can happen to anyone. Then it occurred to me I was surrounded by teens who lost everything like Job. Felipe nodded and said, “God knows our heart. He does not need to test us.”

I think Jesus has been sitting by the steps and making a cord of whip this week. He used the words of Felipe and Bruno. The simple conversation has brought everything back into focus. I have been thinking about the cleansing of the temple as a capitalist. After all, it is the system that I have known was all my life. I read words like “marketplace” and “selling” and my mind is imprisoned by the idea of commercialization. However, Jesus did not chase out the store owners and animals because He was against the market enterprise. It is about worship. When the pilgrims went to the temple to worship, they would be confronted by the stores selling the products necessary for sacrifices first and not the presence of God. Their focus would have been contaminated with this image. Our minds were contaminated with violence. The past few days I have been seeing and hearing about violence. God’s presence has been ignored. I have become no different than the street preachers here who only preach about judgement and destruction. Whereas Wallace just wants a quiet place to sit and be at peace with himself and hopefully in the silence he will hear the voice of God. He wants to go to a place where God’s presence takes the center stage. God has called us to be His temple in the streets.

Gabriel, who had been silent throughout this exchange, finally he said that he has been waiting for us this whole week. They did not know that we were at the steps. As we got ready to go home, he wanted to walk with us for part of the way. Then he gave us a hug which was not common for him but necessary for our souls. This was the final act of Jesus’ cleansing our temple. Our eyes were opened once again to see His presence in the midst of us. The violence has no business trying to dominate our minds.

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Get Behind Me, Satan

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” Mark 8:31-33

Felipe likes to curl into a big ball when he sits outside the bakery to beg. It is actually quite comical. Being at least six feet tall, somehow he manages to make himself look like a small child. I guess people tend to give when they see a “small” person begging. I don’t understand all the psychology behind it. Nevertheless, Felipe has figured it out. He greeted us with a huge smile. He wanted to know our telephone number. He has access to a telephone now and wants to be in contact with us when we are away from the streets. This is the first time he has asked anything like this. As we were talking, a woman walked into the bakery and literally threw a piece of trash on Felipe. I was confused by her actions. At first, I thought she dropped it by mistake. Unfortunately, it was deliberate. Felipe picked up the trash which was a crumpled up paper bag and showed to another teen, Wallace, who just nodded. Their reaction revealed that they were accustomed to this kind of treatment. Felipe laughed it off. He did not allow this to disturb or discourage him. He kept his focus. He continued to talk to us. I couldn’t do it. I can’t just brush it off. It disturbed me that someone would act in such a cruel and demeaning manner. Felipe did not want to pursue the matter and we walked away feeling a little disappointed how humans treat each other.

This was how our day started. I wish I could say that the episode with Felipe was the only violent event of the day. It was indeed a violent act; after all, violence is an attempt to deprive someone of their humanity. This woman tried to make Felipe feel like trash. She refused to see his humanity. Unfortunately something else happened along the same line towards the end of the day. It still weighs heavily on my heart even as I write this. This time violence manifested itself physically. The victim was an innocent young man who was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. The perpetrator is someone with whom we have a close relationship. The whole incident occurred in close proximity to me. I witnessed both incidents of violence up-close. Both instances my initial response was of confusion. I was paralyzed as I watched one human being dehumanized by another. The victim lost a cell phone. We lost something too. We had an image of a young boy who once loving consoled someone who was hurting in the streets. Now, when I close my eyes, I no longer see that person. He was abruptly stolen from us. Instead, I see a vicious being brutally attacking another young innocent man for a mere thing. I am not sure if I will be able to ever redeem the former image.

I couldn’t focus on anything else the rest of the day. In fact, my mind has been constantly taunted by the poignant images of Felipe being treated like trash and our teenage perpetrator’s face filled with hatred and anger. I turn to the biblical text above for comfort. I discovered something but it wasn’t comforting. Perhaps, being comforted is over-rated. The Truth does not exist to console us. It prepares us to face reality. We live in a world where dehumanizing monsters can be the people whom you love and care about deeply. I left Felipe thinking that the woman was an monster then I saw someone whom I love deeply acting like one.

The quote from the gospel above comes from a context where Jesus had a relatively successful day in His ministry. He fed four thousand with seven loaves of bread. He healed a blind man. His closest friend recognized that Jesus was indeed the messiah. Yet, all the acceptance and approval did not change the fact that He would suffer and die in a humiliating manner. Such was reality. Approval and popularity does not keep us safe from violence and hatred in this world. Jesus did not give any solutions to avoid this harsh reality. In fact, He considered any attempt to do so to be demonic. Peter found this out the hard way.

I am sure that Peter thought that he was being sensible when he rebuked Jesus. After all, what was the point of being the messiah and then dying on the Cross? It seems to be a contradiction. Peter was being rational about the whole thing. I am sure Peter thought that there could be safer way for Jesus to attain His status as messiah without losing His life. I am sure that he had some valid suggestions but they were not the way of the Cross. Most likely there was no gospel in his rational method. It makes me wonder that behind all our sadness and discouragement, we might have harbored the same reasoning. Perhaps I want to minister to these children and teens thrown into a world of violence and yet not experience any of it. It is possible that I want to minister peace in a world wrought with hatred and bitterness and not experience them face to face. There is a chance that I want to preach the gospel without taking the Cross. It is highly probable that if Jesus heard me say these things, He would say,

“Get behind me, Satan!”

Peter, of course, wasn’t satan, nor am I. However, we are both allowing the circumstances to determine the course of our actions. I am allowing a violent incident to determine how I proclaim the gospel. This is not the time to recoil and run away from the world. Felipe needs to know that he is not trash even if disturbed individuals want to treat him as such. We need to have grace and courage to face our beloved teenage perpetrator and say that he is allowing his hatred to dehumanize him. We live in a violent world that is constantly trying to distort and destroy the image of God in another human being. The message of the gospel must preached in the midst of this world and not from a safe place. Therefore, we cannot retreat in the face of violence. We need to take our Cross and follow the footsteps of the Messiah.

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” Mark 8:35

It was hard to go back to the streets after that violent day. As soon as we arrived, a young teenage girl who never said a word to us for months came to us. She asked if she could color with us. She sat down and colored for three hours. She kept us in the street longer than usual. She did not say a word to us but she sat with us throughout the whole time and colored silently. She is barely fifteen but her arms are covered with tattoos. She has adopted the persona of a tough drug dealer. However, today she was just a little girl who liked to color. Her reality is one of violence but today she wanted to see a different reality. This is why we are in the streets.

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Stepping into the Wilderness

And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him. Mark 1: 12-13

The gospel of Mark is very succinct about the temptations, unlike the other gospels. They give us long elaborate details of the conversation between Jesus and the devil. There was no mention about fasting. Nothing to clarify what he was doing there. Maybe it was not necessary for the readers. They might have been aware of all these details. It is said that this particular gospel was indeed the earliest gospel to be written. The first Christians tended to be people from a poorer class. The Early Church attracted slaves, the lost sheep and disenfranchised gentiles. All of these were accustomed to be allocated a place in the wilderness by their societies. Most of the time these people find their solace in unlikely place. Perhaps this is why there is a peculiar reference to wild beasts and angels. They were living in the wilderness. There was no need to describe their own reality to them. Jesus, on the other hand, needed to prepare Himself to live in their reality. He needed time in the wilderness to be prepared for the harsh reality of life.

I mentioned the season of Lent to our children once. It was a few years ago. I felt like someone trying to ask a starving person to give up sweets. Besides, the whole concept was strange to them. They had never heard about it despite being a predominately Catholic nation. However, they know about Ash Wednesday. It is the day that Carnaval* ends. In other words, it is the day when the partying ends. The children don’t necessarily participate in the revelries of Carnaval. However, it’s festive mood is contagious. People feel freer. Social boundaries are disrupted momentarily. The rhythmic beat of samba inspires even those with two left feet to venture out to dance. Fortunately, I am quite stoic about these things. I have a good imagination and I can picture my awkward dance attempts too vividly. It is understandable why a tourist watching the celebration of Carnaval might think that Brazil is closest thing to an utopian paradise. All the races and social classes mingling together and enjoying each other’s company as equals. It is quite deceptive. All this euphoria and utopic manifestations end when the music stops playing. Everyone goes back to reality when Ash Wednesday begins. Lent is associating with reality. The children don’t need a special word to distinguish it from the rest of their lives. They live in the wilderness of harsh reality.

Besides, what can I say about Lent to our children? None of them spent Christmas at home. Some of them don’t remember their birthdays. They are all sick from a cold and their noses are constantly runny. Unfortunately, they have given this unwanted gift to me as well. They are already living a life of extreme deprivation. They constantly meet the devil. He is always tempting them to take the short cuts; promising them things that he never fulfill. He uses the same tactics as he did with Jesus. Food, wealth, and power is given to them only if they participate in what he proposes. Our children are constantly hungry, poor and powerless. It means that they have resisted in some shape or form the temptations of the enemy.

Dreyson ran up to us when he saw us. He gave a big hug and told us that he had been waiting for our return. We had been away for a month. His enthusiastic welcome was very good for our self-esteem. He wanted to do something with us. We played a game and, of course, it was intermingled with questions and gossip. Then he told us that he had to stop. He was too hungry. He said that he was going to look for food. Before he left, he told us that he wanted our help to get his documents. He is still determined to take the necessary steps forward to better himself. Then he went out looking for food. He did not need our help for that. He is going to eat whatever that is given to him at the restaurants or by a kind stranger. What can I say to him about Lent? Give up chocolates or ice cream, fast a few days a week…..Perhaps there is nothing to say. Maybe Lent is not for him but for those who have created a superficial world outside the wilderness. Every Lent, the Holy Spirit challenges those who have created a world outside the wilderness to take a step into something new and wonderful and perhaps even poignant. In the process, we discover the gospel in more profound manner.

Before Jesus went into the wilderness, He was a carpenter. He had a trade and a secure living for His time. He wasn’t a rich man by any means because there were very few people back than and even now who were rich. We could say that He had a safe and secure future. The Hebrew slaves were also safe and secure in their state of captivity in Egypt before they stepped into the wilderness. Being safe and secure is not the gospel or a blessing. Countless people who heeded the Holy Spirit’s prompting to step into the unknown places exchanged safety and security for copious blessings. They discovered the gospel. The way of the gospel is a passage into the wilderness. It helps us see clearly the meaning of the gospel. Jesus would have had nothing to say if He did not go through the wilderness. It was the place where He discovered what was essential and necessary for abundant life. In the same way, we will never discover what is necessary for the gospel to be the gospel until we are willing to step into the wilderness with nothing but the Holy Spirit has our guide.

Jesus did not need to go far to go into his wilderness. The Holy Spirit brought him there. Every Lent, God invites us to go to a place where He will show us what is needful for us to understand the blessing of the gospel. It is not about giving up chocolate or other special treats. It is not about repenting so that we can gain salvation. It is a gift from God. It is about discovering what salvation means for our lives.

Have a Blessed Lent. It is season for us to discover the meaning of salvation.

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