homelessness

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Finding My Way

Then the Pharisees and scribes asked Him, “Why do Your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashed hands?”-Mark 7: 5

And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”- Mark 7: 20-23

A conversation between friends that made me think differently about the Pharisees and myself.

Every time I read about Jesus’ interactions with the Pharisees, I am faced with two options. I could look at the Pharisees as a people completely different from me. Consequently, I judge them because I want to make it clear that they are distinct from me. In my mind, I could consider myself being better than them because I can see Jesus’ point of view clearly. Then I am reminded of another gospel passage where Jesus reveals in a parable the inner thoughts of a Pharisees regarding a tax collector. It is exactly my attitude that I just mentioned. By judging a Pharisee, I inevitably become more like them.

The other option is for me to be more sympathetic towards them. I can make an attempt to understand them. After all, they were genuinely religious people who wanted to live their lives in a way worthy of their spiritual vocation. I can appreciate this. I want to do the same. Their main aim was to prepare themselves for the coming of the Messiah. Somehow they lost their way and became his enemies. Unfortunately, this is a more terrifying option. Everything indicates that in my fervent religiosity I can unknowingly become the enemy of the very person I am trying to serve.

Either option comes back to me in the negative. Whenever Jesus confronted the Pharisees for their limited way of interpreting God’s actions in this world, His words are also a challenge to me. I am a potential Pharisee or maybe I am already full-fledged Pharisee and I just don’t know it. I hope that there is a way out of this dilemma. Perhaps I need to ask the right questions and the conversation we had with our friends helped.

They are a couple. They both work in two different high-end shopping malls. They have the same clientele. It is not uncommon for them to meet people who spend exorbitant amounts every month of money on clothes. In some countries, this may not be a problem. However, in this city, everyday it is not uncommon to see families living and sleeping in the streets. Then my friends encounter people who spent what others earn in a year on one single trip to their store. The contrast is too great for anyone to ignore. Two different people had two contrasting opinions about their clients. One was more honest and perhaps even brutal. The other tended to be more appeasing and gracious, perhaps a little bit out of touch with reality. One is right and the one is wrong. This is what we like to imagine. In reality, it is not a question of who is right or wrong. Each of them have created a way of thinking that helps them deal with their reality. They chose to see only certain aspects of reality, perhaps one has a better grasp of truth than the other. Nevertheless, this is not the point. As human beings, we create a rational order in our head to survive in this world. We have to carefully choose our “truths” to help us function in this world. Naturally it also means that some things have to be discarded or ignored. We construct a world that helps us understand why things are the way they are so that we go on with life…until Someone comes disrupts everything. They don’t just disrupt our comfortable world, they also make it inconvenient for us to go on thinking like we used to do.

Our children and teens have devised a way of reasoning out their reality. They use all the tools available to them to create this world. Their religious background, their positive and negative experiences with people, the words they have heard said about them, things they observed in life in general; all these are prime materials to construct their world. However, the world we create in our minds is not invincible or impenetrable. It is imperfect and therefore vulnerable. It cannot resist change especially when it is confronted with Love. True perfect Love disrupts our world. This is why lovers are frequently disoriented. The fabric of their created reality falls apart when confronted with Love. It is possible to reject Love in order to persist in our limited concept of reality. It seems like a high price to pay. Unfortunately people do it all the time and I could be one of them, just like the Pharisees.

These Pharisees are a pain, not because they rejected Jesus, but because of who they were. It would have been easier if they were rogues with total disregard for anything religious. Unfortunately, they were self-consciously obedient to the Law. They wanted to be the ones who usher in the glorious reign of the Messiah. They followed everything religiously so to speak and thought that this alone was sufficient. Therefore, I cannot fall into this trap of complacency. As I tried to figure out a way to avoid this pitfall, the concept of virtues kept coming up. Coincidentally, several days later, I stumbled upon a lecture given by an agnostic history professor in Brazil and his topic was on the cardinal virtues. He advocated the return to virtuous living to live a complete life. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit leading me. It is strange that I hardly hear cardinal virtues spoken in churches. It seems like something we should hear among those who want to be like their Lord. Jesus was the embodiment of all what philosophers described as the complete life. He manifested all the virtues. St Paul dedicated a significant portion to Jesus’ humility in his letter to the Philippians and he was a Pharisee before.

In our ministry, humility means recognizing that the world that I have constructed in my head is the not the perfect world for everyone. That entails that I have to listen and learn how our children and teen have constructed their lives. My role is not to judge their fabrications because humility reminds me that I also have fabricated a world. We all live in worlds that are a mixture of fantasy and reality. Therefore, we cannot judge people by the standards of our imaginary concept. This leaves us with only one thing. Regardless of how people decide to see the world, Love is something that transcends all artificial realities. In the words of a former Pharisee,

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.- I Corinthians 13:2

Virtues make me realize that I need Love. This is what I understand for now. However, there is a long journey ahead of me.

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Love comes Tumbling down

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12

A 24 story building collapsed in our neighborhood this week.

It happened on May 1st, the Labor Day holiday. I heard the helicopters flying around our neighborhood all night. These machines are bad omens here in this city. Their presence means that there is a riot or some large scale tragedy. I looked out the window and saw them hovering over a certain spot not far from our home. I knew something bad had happened. It was only in the morning I realized that a building had collapsed.

We got dressed and went to the location. I don’t know why but it just felt like we needed to be there. Obviously, all roads were closed to traffic. The building used to be a government office but has been abandoned for the past twelve years. More recently, it has been home for 150 families from one of the poorest sectors of society. They invaded the building in hopes of getting the attention of the government to help them find affordable housing. There are about 100 abandoned buildings occupied by the homeless poor in the center where we live. These people are not the same as the homeless to whom we minister in the streets. Most of these people have jobs but they cannot pay rent with what they earn. The best option is being squatters in abandoned buildings in the center. Unfortunately, everyone in authority ignores their presences until a tragedy occurs.

As we walked to the site, we passed a famous restaurant along the way. There was a long line of people waiting to eat there. They were talking and laughing away. It was quite surreal. They seemed oblivious to a great tragedy had happened just around the corner. The tragic event was in the news, even the President went to the area. It is hard to ignore such a thing. However, it didn’t concern these people. It has very little to do with their world. It is not our world as well. However, we were slowly making our way there. I am still not sure why.

There were quite a lot of people at the site. They were not mere curious spectators. Many were from the poorer social sector. They were just like us who were drawn to this place. There was almost a melancholic silence that penetrated the souls of everyone there. The press was there with their cameras. The firemen were busy trying to put out the smoldering flames. The city which is usually noisy and unruly could not ignore the silence that permeated the place. The people who lost their homes sat and mourned their loss. No words could console their souls at this moment. Hope was ripped away. There was a sense of total abandonment. Any attempt to comfort them would sound like conventional wisdom. Perhaps silence was the best answer. Some people brought clothes and food. I saw a man going through the clothes and then he walked away without taking a single piece. He realized that he needed something more than clothes and food. He wasn’t sure what. Perhaps, it is hope.

We did absolutely nothing except stand there in silence. We did not feel like we wasted our time. We heard someone calling out our names. It was Sandro. He was the only one of our youths that was present there. It is strange that not more of them were present being close to where they live. In fact, I once went to this very building looking for the mother of one of our boys.

Sandro said that it was the noise of the helicopters that brought him here.

He was a little pensive today. He said that the people made the mistake of living in such a precarious building. It is a comment he heard from some in the streets. It is strange that victims are always the first to be blamed. I told him that the building was built in 1966 and shouldn’t be in such a fragile state. Besides, there is a housing problem in this city. The government has done nothing with this building for the past 12 years but somehow, the victims are being blamed.

Sandro was just trying to understand what happened. He wasn’t passing judgment. I told him that the people were desperate for a home and they took what was available to them. Just I said this, we saw another familiar face. It was Glaucia. She came up and hugged all of us. I knew her since she was 18 and now she is 41. She used to live in the streets just like Sandro. She has had a tough life. She lived in abandoned buildings like these people for many years. She raised her children in these circumstances. We know her sons and they are excellent young men. She heard about the building and came immediately. She knew some people who lived there. However, she also had some good news to share. She was getting a place of her own. She has been living in a slum built on abandoned land and the government decided to remove the people there to make way for some construction. As a result, she was awarded an apartment. It is not free but affordable. It was something that she wanted all her life. After all these years of being homeless, she finally has a permanent address.

After Glaucia went on her way, Sandro asked if it is possible for someone like him to have a permanent address. He had heard people say that everything is possible with hard work and determination. This is another piece of conventional wisdom. The people who stood there watching the building they called home go up in flames were hardworking and determined. I told him that there are no guarantees in life. Today was not a day for easy and quick answers. I told him that many people with material success in life were the first cast the stones at the victims today; calling them lazy and scroungers, etc. I am not sure if we can consider them to be successful people. I know that Jesus would not. Can we, as Christians, consider hateful and indifferent people to be successful? Glaucia is a successful person but not because she has an apartment now. She was homeless most of her life and yet she was still able to love people and care for them. She made a special two-hour trip just to stand in silence with these people who lost everything. No fire can still steal what she has from her.

Sandro looked hungry. Most of the restaurants in the center were closed for the holiday and food is scarce for the homeless on days like this. I asked him if he wanted to get a snack with us. He smiled and we took it as a “yes”. We went to a fast food joint. He ordered only one item. We encouraged him to get something else but he said that he did not want us to spend all our money. We insisted and he ordered something else. He was happy to share the table with us. He asked the same question again. What does it take to be successful? I told him maybe we should strive to be good people. This is something that will always belong to us.

Sandro hugged us and said that he will look for us the next couple of days.

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Giving Evil Spirits Some Space

And when He had come out of the boat, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no one could bind him, not even with chains, because he had often been bound with shackles and chains. And the chains had been pulled apart by him, and the shackles broken in pieces; neither could anyone tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying out and cutting himself with stones.- Mark 5:2-5

Every Friday we set aside a period in the afternoon to study the gospel of Mark together and its application to our ministry in the streets. Our last reading was on the above text. The story is a strange and detailed event of a demon possession and exorcism. Modern Christians have differing views on evil spirits and demonic possessions. Some might believe that the demon-possessed people in the gospel narratives were actually mentally-ill people and others might believe that there are real evil spirits who possess people. The differences of opinion are on how evil manifests itself but we all agree that the forces that isolate and destroy an individual are evil and must be removed. In other words, all forces that contribute to the self-destruction of any human being can be considered as evil spirits. In our work, we encounter evil spirits on a daily basis.

The possessed individual in the gospel was marginalized emotionally and spiritually from his community. His isolation was imposed by the community, as well as by his personal actions of violence. In isolation, he was destroying the only thing left for him to destroy, which was his own body. The gospel tells us that he cut himself with rocks. He was on the path to death. Henceforth, the cemetery was the only suitable place to keep him; away from society and abandoned to his own self-destructive habits. No one cared, perhaps no one knew how to care for him, except for Jesus. He went looking for this man. Jesus did not need to be there. There were no Jewish people there because they kept swine in this place. The only reason Jesus was there was because of this abandoned demon possessed maniac.

This story resonated with us. Our children and teens are like the demon possessed man. Society sees them as lost causes and they don’t see any hope in them. People are generally afraid of them and the children don’t make it any easier. They further contribute to their personal isolation and marginalization by their aggressive attitudes. They react against the rejection they sense. The old center of São Paulo is the metaphorical cemetery of this city. We are surrounded by old abandoned buildings left to decay. No important businesses are found here. Money is invested elsewhere in the city while the old center is left to die a slow death. However, this is the place where the children and teens find solace and refuge in drugs and other self-destructive habits…

The thing that stood out for us in this gospel narrative was the idea of space. The evil spirits needed available space to strive. They pleaded with Jesus not to send them away from the region because there was still space for them there. They asked to be sent to the herd of swine. Initially, I always found this part a little confusing and disturbing. Why did the poor pigs have to suffer? They were innocent animals. However, I believe that there is deeper significance to this story. In the Bible, pigs are unclean, ritually unclean. When we take into consideration this symbolic meaning of the pigs, then we are able to see that this story was a criticism of the society as well. There was an unclean presence in the society which still provided room for the evil spirits to strive. This unclean presence is not a mystery as it was clearly revealed in the general attitude of the people. They were more concerned about their financial loss than about the person of Jesus. They did not care if Jesus overcame an apparently violent and dangerous man. They did not care if this man was cured. They just cared about their financial loss. They valued things over people. In doing so, they created room for evil and destructive spirits to dwell in their city.

Destructive evil spirits need space to function.

We just experienced a sad incident a couple days ago. One of the boys with whom we have had a longstanding relationship suddenly turned aggressive and violent towards us. His name is João. He has been in the streets since he was ten years old. He was one of the first boys whom we met when we returned to this work. He was always a docile boy and never without a smile. However, last week, while we were helping a older teen get some legal help, João started attacking us for no apparent reason. We were a little taken aback at first and thought that he was joking. Unfortunately it was not a joke. We think that it was due to jealousy. João did not want this other teenager to receive any help. The situation got out of hand and caused a small crowd of onlookers to gather. We managed to get away from João’s aggressive behavior. Unfortunately, his attitude did not change the next day. He continued to fluctuate from the old João to this new raging maniac. Finally, we had to take a stand and cut all ties with João until he learns to respect us once again. It was particularly hard for our team leader who has worked with João for almost five years.

What made João change? Well, it wasn’t just the case of the “the devil made me do it”. Even though he never engaged in any criminal activities, he constantly sniffed paint thinner. His self destructive behavior provided the space for further isolation and destructive behavior. There was room for evil spirits to dwell in him and he couldn’t handle the fact that someone else in his situation was getting help. Evil spirits or destructive behaviors don’t just happen. We give them space to strive. One self destructive behavior opens the door to another and it becomes a downward spiral to complete isolation and despair.

Where is the gospel in this situation? We hope that it lies in the discipline that we have imposed on João. He needs a wake up call. He needs to see that he needs help to evacuate these evil spirits in his life. We have not rejected João. We have rejected the spirit which is destroying his soul. How do we proceed from here? Well, when the people in the gospel narrative rejected Jesus, Jesus left the man whom He healed to be His witness. We are the witnesses in this situation. Jesus redeemed us from our self destructiveness and now we can testify that His grace is able to do the same for João. We will patiently wait for João just like Jesus patiently waited for us to receive His healing.

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A Bittersweet Reunion

Better is a little with righteousness than large income with injustice.- Proverbs 16:8

A young woman in her early thirties came up to me while I was talking to a young teenager and she asked if I was staying for good this time. I was taken aback; it was not a question I was expecting from a complete stranger. Then her face began to look familiar. I knew her as a young homeless teenager twenty years ago. Her name is Marcia and she had her fifteen year old daughter, Karin, with her. Marcia named her daughter after one of the German missionaries that worked with us then. I was quite surprised that Marcia remembered me. She told me that she left the streets not long after we left Brazil. She is no longer addicted to drugs nor does she engage in any criminal activities: all of this is in the past. Now she works hard to make ends meet. She has three children and she is recently unemployed. However, she has been doing odd jobs and selling sodas in the streets to help pay the bills. She was in the center doing exactly this. Before she left she told me that she will never forget the day we took her to a picnic with us in a local state park. I can’t hardly remember that day, but for her it was an occasion that marked her soul. I was happy to reconnect with Marcia and I wrote to our friend, Karin, about her. She delighted that Marcia named her daughter after her.

I had a second encounter with our past yesterday.

We found a small community of homeless people who invaded an abandoned park and use old wood and cardboard boxes to build shacks there. There are about a hundred people living there. Most of the older homeless teens have moved to this place. They call this place the Tent. The Tent has a gate and only those who are invited can enter and remain here safely. It is quite dangerous as some of the occupants are robbers and drug dealers. We were invited to this place. It is not exactly a slum area even though it looks like one. There are many children here and we do activities with the children in hopes of stopping the children from making the transition from the Tent to the streets. There are many drugs dealers here but they have their children with them. There are also many here who just want a home or place to live. Some of our older teens fall into this category.

While we were talking to a young boy, a woman came to us and asked if we were missionaries. Again, the question threw me off because most of the time people think we are a social agency, not a church. She saw my confusion and smiled and told us that she remembered us when she was thirteen years living in the streets. She is thirty three now. Her name is Glacia. She has five children but only two are with her. She gave up the street life and does not smoke or drink any alcohol. She decided that she wanted something better. She worked as a maid in another city and lost her job recently. She returned to São Paulo, but was not able to get a job here as well. She moved to the Tent because there is a possibility that the people here will be moved to a housing project. No one knows if this will ever happen but this is their hope.

Twenty years ago, Mary and I worked among the homeless children in the same area. There were about two hundred children concentrated in one particular section in the red light district. Marcia and Glacia were two of these children. I asked Glacia what happened to most of the children. She said that most of them are dead. They were involved in crimes and eventually were killed by violence or drugs. There were only a few that were alive and these were the ones who chose to leave the streets. To tell you the truth, the reality of what she said did not hit me until much later. Perhaps I did not want to believe it. However, when we worked with these children and teens twenty years ago, we always thought that most of them would end up dead if they did not leave the streets. Those who left the streets continue with life’s struggle. There is no fairy tale ending for any of them. Most of them continue to live in abject poverty. Marcia and Glacia struggle to make sure that their children do not go to the streets like them. Glacia lost two of her children because she could not take care of them. She did not have the means. She gave them up for adoption.

Life continues to be hard but it does not mean that they are hopeless. Glacia hopes to get a home in this city. It does not matter if it is tiny and even in the worst neighborhood. She wants a roof for her children. I think she will get it. She has managed to stay afloat all these years even though she barely earned enough to pay the rent. She managed to stay off the streets. She is determined to survive. Marcia will make it as well. Both of them won’t be millionaires but they are true survivors. We are proud to be part of their lives. They give me courage to press on. Their lives put everything in perspective for me. The challenges I face are nothing compared to their daily struggles. Yet they remember the simple things we did for them.

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