orphans

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We Are Their Fathers and Mothers

Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?-Malachi 2:10

We encountered a sad and disturbing incident. Unfortunately, there is a sentiment that is growing among many in the city.

We just got to the public square where the children were and noticed a commotion. A ten year old boy, Wesley, was in the middle of it. We saw some adults looking at his neck. We enquired what was going on and Wesley showed us his bruised neck. The bruises were actually impression of a hand. Wesley was obviously upset and told us that a policeman grabbed and squeezed him by the neck. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole incident confirmed this and added that someone had their phone stolen and the police were certain that the children had it. They lined up all the children and one of them grabbed Wesley and tried to intimidate him into giving up the culprit. The passerby then told me something that astonished me. He said that the children deserved it. He went on to say that the children have been getting out of hand and someone needed to put them in their place. By this he meant that it was perfectly fine for a grown man armed to the teeth to choke a defenseless ten year old child. This happened during the afternoon in one of the most busiest sections in the center.

I do not doubt for a moment that one of the children had stolen the phone. Even if they did not do it this time, it is not something beyond them. They did not deny anything when we spoke to them. However, their bad behavior does not change the fact that they are still children. If these children were our own flesh and blood, we would not tolerate a complete stranger physically abusing our child, let alone choking him until his neck is bruised. No decent parent would condone such behavior regardless of what their young child had done. However, these children do not have parents. They are orphans. No one looks out for them. No one misses them when they are gone. No one cares if they are gone. Apparently, no one vouches for them when they are physically abused in public. These children are non -existent in all practical sense. They sense this in their souls. They try to assert their existence through bad behavior just like an attention-craving child would do in any given context. This does not excuse their bad behavior. It needs to be addressed but not with hatred and violence.

Unfortunately, a seed of hatred was planted in Wesley’s heart on this day. However, all is not lost. It does not necessarily mean that bitterness and anger are going to take root in his soul. Evil actions are not as powerful as we imagine. These children have experienced much hatred and rejection in their lives and they still are open to be loved. They still believe that there is someone who would love them. They still want to be loved. In other words, they still want to believe that their existence is worth something to someone in this world. Most of them are able to overcome the hatred that they experienced in this life if they can discover that they are important to at least one person in this life.

The Sunday is Pentecost Sunday. Churches around the world celebrate this special day as the beginning of the church. The message of Pentecost Sunday has something significant and powerful to say to these children and teens. The coming of the Holy Spirit changed the nature of relationships. Before this blessed day, the apostles imagined the preaching of the gospel within their cultural, geographical and social limitations. With the miracle of the tongues, the apostles discovered that the Holy Spirit has something beyond their limited imagination. It is no longer of a religious message of a certain people or language. It is a message of adoption. All peoples were now part of the great family of God. All the orphans and widows from all over the world now have a Father who cares and loves them and a family that includes them as their own brothers and sisters.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God-Romans – 8:16

The Spirit of God is poured upon all peoples to testify to their spirit that they are adopted. No one is an orphan anymore because God is their Father. No land is too distant for us to seek and care for our brothers and sisters who are still unaware that they are part of this new family. Our children and teens in the streets sense the longing for a Father in their spirit. They understand that fatherhood is not restricted to flesh and blood. They know all these aspects of the Truth and yet they need to see and experience the reality of this adoption in a clear and tangible manner.

They need to see fathers and mothers who are sent by the Holy Spirit to testify to this adoption. This should be, perhaps, the only and true motivation of missionary work. It is a motivation that can only be inspired by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We can only receive the orphans of this world as our own family members when we have experienced the power of adoption in our own lives. For those who have not experienced this reality would consider it absurd to go out into the world and care for the children of outsiders. They would claim that we need to take of our own first. The Holy Spirit is a generous Spirit. There is enough love for those far away as well as those who are near.

The next day, all the other children that had witnessed the event wanted to do an activity with us. We were surprised that none of them were using or sniffing paint thinner or any other drug. They just sat and colored together with us and asked questions about ourselves. They just wanted to be with us. I have to say that we enjoyed just being with them. This is the first step towards a real spiritual adoption. However, the police were lurking around behind us. The children were a little afraid and they did share this sentiment with us. However, they also felt safe with us despite the presence of potential violence. As for the violence, it is not going to go away. It will loom around the children and teens always. We are always in the midst of it. However, it cannot undo what the Holy Spirit is doing in our hearts.

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Laziness is not an Answer

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.- Matthew 5:22

The above gospel verse was taken from the context of a discussion on the subject of murder. Jesus likens calling someone “a fool” or “raca” (which means useless or worthless) to murder. When it used as an insult, both terms imply that the person is not worth our time and energy or our compassion. Consequently, we would not care if anything happens to them or rather they cease to be considered human beings to us. If we understand murder as robbing someone of their humanity, then words are also capable of depriving someone of their humanity.

We have heard many times people say that the poor are poor because they are plain lazy. Sometimes people make the distinction by saying that there are the deserving poor and there are some who are just plain lazy. By this, they imply that these lazy poor are not worthy of compassion or mercy. In some cases, they would even consider it wrong to help the so-called lazy poor.

The paradox is that saying that the poor are lazy is actually a lazy way to identify the problem. If we are serious about being instruments of the gospel, then we should refrain from using unhelpful terms that rob people of their humanity. Calling someone lazy does not redeem anyone’s humanity and the gospel is about redemption.

No one wants to be lazy. It is in our nature to work if it helps us to get what we want in life. The incentive to work depends on whether we are motivated. Instead of calling people lazy, we should discover why aren’t people motivated to work. I am sure that sociologists or economists could come up with plethora of reasons why people aren’t motivated. We do not approach the problem from their perspective. We do it from the midst of teens and adults in homeless situations. We ask ourselves why is it hard for them to seek employment? They don’t have any motivation to work. We believe our motivation to work stems from relationships. When we believe that what we are doing is going to strengthen and secure our relationship with our family and friends, then we are motivated. Sometimes people put up with tedious and mundane work just to sustain their family. However, it is difficult to be motivated if you don’t have friends or family.

Igor is 19 years old. He has been living in the streets since he was eight. His father died when he was three and his mother was murdered when he was seven. From the tender age of eight, Igor has used drugs and lived without any adult supervision. He was detained in juvenile centers for most of his teenage years. His only experience with a disciplined life was under the threat of physical abuse in the juvenile center. When he left the juvenile center at the age of 18, he made a conscious decision not to be involved with crime or drugs.

A few weeks ago, Igor found a job. It was with a cleaning service. Unfortunately, he only worked for a week at this place before quitting. He did not find the work to be hard. He did not mind the work. Even though the pay wasn’t great, he did not mind the low salary. He quit because he found it hard to keep a regular routine. He sleeps in the streets and has no alarm clock. Besides, he is not accustomed to keeping appointments and relating to bosses and authority figures. He was afraid that he was going to fail and therefore, he quit before he got fired. We asked him if he was ever late for his work. He told us that he made sure that he was punctual for the whole week, but he knew that it wasn’t going to last. Igor quit because he was afraid that he was going to fail.

We asked him if he wanted our help in keeping a routine. He responded that he did not even know what this meant. His answer made us pause for a while. We realized that simple things such as keeping a routine and fulfilling a commitment are things that we learn in the environment of a family. These things are nurtured in us through the living examples of our parents or parental figure. We were gradually taught explicitly and implicitly to honor our responsibilities. Perhaps we were given the chance to fail and given several chances to learn the value of commitment. All these can be taught in an environment of love and forgiveness. Igor never grew up in such an environment.

Igor is legally considered an adult. However, his social skills are limited and he knows it. For him, it is frightening to make the transition from living in the streets to working in a 9 to 5 job. He is paralyzed by fear. Fear stops him from working. However, in the eyes of the world, he is just another lazy homeless teen. On the other hand, the message of gospel compels us to see beyond the superficial. Igor needs a family to help him overcome his fear of failure. He cannot do this unless he knows that there will be grace and forgiveness.

Igor does not have all his personal documents yet. We offered to help him apply for them. He accepted our help. We made an appointment for him and asked him to meet us at the office where these documents are issued. When we got to this building, Igor was waiting there for us. He got there fifteen minutes early. He was afraid that he was going to be late. We needed to pay for the processing fee and he vehemently refused our money. He wanted to earn the money by doing some odd jobs. Finally we convinced him to allow us to pay for it for now and he can repay us when he has a job. He reluctantly agreed. We managed to get his documents without any hassle. Before we left the place, Igor hugged us and told us that he was going to apply for another job this week. The fear is still present, but he seemed a little bit more confident. We hope that Igor will find some strength through his friendship with us to overcome his fears.

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A Christmas Gift from God

For Brazilians, the pinnacle of the Christmas celebration takes place on Christmas Eve. It is a great family gathering and it is the only time of the year when the city of São Paulo is quiet. The streets are deserted except for the homeless people. Sadly, it is also one of the times of the year where the homeless people really feel and know that they are excluded from society.

One Christmas Eve in 1997, a volunteer from a social agency decided to host a Christmas dinner in the streets with the homeless. He asked if we would be part of this meal and we gladly agreed.  We invited the homeless children and adults that we knew for the feast. My childhood friend from Singapore was visiting with me at this time and he joined us as well. At about 11 o’clock at night we had our Christmas meal with about 30 of homeless friends. It was strange to have a meal in the middle of the streets. However, on that night, I felt something deeply spiritual had happened. I felt like something eternal occurred and this moment would be one of the eternal treasures which Jesus spoke about.  Janaina was part of this group and she was fourteen years old then.

I remembered Janaina opening to us and telling us her life story. She was orphaned at a very young age. Her father died and her mother was a drug addict who gave up all her six children for adoption. Janaina was the youngest.  Her mother eventually passed away. The siblings were in an orphanage together and they made every effort not to be separated.  At one point, Janaina was almost adopted by a German family but she could not bear to be away from her brothers and she became sad and depressed. The adoption fell through. However, her would-be adopted mother never gave up. She is still in contact with Janaina after all these years. The siblings eventually ran away to the streets and in the streets what they feared the most became a reality: they were separated. Janaina lost contact with her siblings and she was alone in the world. She had never experienced a proper family life. She only knew how to survive in the streets. Janaina shared her story without tears or regret. It was just her reality.  My childhood friend was moved by her story and so was everyone for that matter.  He asked if he could pray for her. I remember clearly that Janaina’s face lit up when my friend offered to do this. It appeared to be simple gesture on my friend’s part but his sincerity and genuine concern struck a chord in her heart.

A couple of weeks ago, Mary and I were walking to the Cracolândia when we heard someone calling out our names. We turned around and saw Janaina smiling and looking very pregnant. She is thirty years old now. She was really happy to see us after all these years. She could not believe that we had decided to move back permanently to Brazil. She told us that she is married and expecting her first child. She is currently unemployed but she has been doing odd jobs here and there to help pay the rent. She had been off drugs for several years now and is actively involved in a local church. We invited her to our house for coffee or lunch and a couple days ago, Janaina showed up here with her beautiful smile and looking almost ready to deliver her first child at any moment.

A Happy Reunion

A Happy Reunion

One of the first things that Janaina asked us is whether we remembered that particular Christmas Eve dinner in the streets. I was quite surprised that she remembered that day. She told us that she could never forget that day. She was surprised that we chose to have a meal with those who were excluded rather than with our friends and families. These were her very words. She even remembered my childhood friend and that he prayed for her. I told her that it was a moment from God for all of us. We sensed His love for us all. We were all included in His love. This was better than having a meal with friends and families.

Janaina’s trajectory was a difficult one. She explained that she struggled to leave the streets because the streets were her comfort zone. She has many good memories in the streets because of the bond she had with some of the children and adults. She said that she wouldn’t have survived the streets if it wasn’t for these relationships. Some of these people who had been her support in the streets were drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves and addicts. God used them to help this little girl. God uses anyone who is willing to be His instrument of Love.

Leaving the streets meant that she had to leave the only family she had known.

Janaina misses not having a family. Since they were separated her brothers and sister  have become like strangers to her. However, she is learning that family in the true spiritual sense is not defined by blood but those who are willing to walk together with her in this life. She still struggles with the sense of inferiority. She struggles with feeling excluded in society. These are struggles that perhaps will never go away for her. Others who have left the streets struggled with similar demons. She spent the whole afternoon with us and she was open and expressive. We were amazed how articulate she has become, being able to verbalize and identify her fears and hopes clearly.

Janaina was God’s Christmas gift to us this year. It is a reminder that nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Every gesture or just a simple sitting together to have a meal could remind someone of their true worth. When we had the Christmas Eve meal together, we just wanted to spend time with our friends who were homeless. We did not have any other motives except to enjoy them. I would like to do this again and again but I cannot be stuck in a moment. We are not called to relive past moments. The same God who brought about that eternal moment fifteen years ago is still working here. He has a banquet prepared and He has sent out the invitation. Everyone is invited.

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