Speaking from Her Experience

And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him.-Mark 12:17

I have posted about Janaina several times in this blog. However, for the sake of those who are not acquainted with her yet, I will give a brief introduction. Janaina is 30 now and we have known her since she was about eleven years old. The girl we knew then was a tough teenager who had grown accustomed to the homeless lifestyle. Even at a young tender age, she had made up her mind that it was her destiny to be a homeless person. She would not entertain any conversation in regards to leaving the streets. At the same time, she was always open to us. She always talked with us and did not hesitate to show that she liked us. She was orphaned when she was about six or seven and had spent her early years in a state orphanage. State orphanages are known for being overcrowded and understaffed. Consequently, she and her brothers did not last long there and they eventually ran away and ended up in the streets. It didn’t take for the siblings to go their separate ways. Janaina once again ended up being alone and abandoned. Fortunately, the other homeless children welcomed her into their fold and over the years they became the closest thing to a family she ever had. Understandably, she did not want to leave behind this newfound family when we first met her. Now, Janaina is married and mother of a one year old baby, Mariana. She has been successfully off the streets for almost ten years. This wasn’t easy for her. She still keeps in touch with her street family who have all grown up as well. For Janaina, relationships are really important and they determine the kind of lifestyle she wants to lead. Her relationship with the missionaries helped her think about a better future. When she met her husband, she was able to make the bold step of leaving the life she had grown accustomed to all these years. Today, she makes decisions based what is best for her daughter. She wants to give her best in a newly discovered role as a mother.

Janaina found us first literally. We were working in the streets when we heard someone calling out our names. We turned around and saw her bright smiling face. It has been almost two years since this reunion. We are amazed how God brought this young woman back into our lives after all these years. She was once closed to our opinions and help and now she seeks them out on her own accord. It took us all these years to come to this stage in our relationship and it was worth it. We pray that there will be many more like her in the future. We are discovering that the key in any missionary work is patience. It is a virtue that requires us to trust and wait for God’s timing. It also reminds us that we are not in-charge and God does not need to work according to our timetable. As we get older, the thought of waiting for our children and teens to open up to us in ten or fifteen years does not sound too bad. Time flies by quickly when you are older.

Janaina and her husband attend a Pentecostal church that is adherent of the so-called prosperity gospel. This has been a struggle for them as the church equates spiritual blessing with material wealth. They wondered why they were struggling so much financially even though they have a strong and lively faith in God. Janaina does not necessarily want to be rich. However, these churches preach that poverty is a curse and she wanted to know if she was in some way hindering God’s blessing in her life. She told us that one day as she was thinking deeply about this matter, she read the part of the gospel where Jesus said, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” At this moment her eyes opened to see a deeper meaning behind this verse. Before she shared what she understood from this experience, she made sure to let us know that she wasn’t using any drugs or hallucinogenic substances at this time. She wanted us to know that she had a clear mind when she heard a still voice speaking in her heart that the blessings of God are not to be accounted for according to Caesar’s standard. It was at this moment she realized that she had gathered much spiritual wealth over the years. For her, the most valuable things in her life are her relationships. Even from back then when she was in the streets, all her relationships had made her hard life joyful. There was never a moment she was away from God’s blessing. His grace was with her even when she did not acknowledge his presence. It was her epiphanic moment. For us, it was one of the most gratifying things we heard from someone who used to live in the streets.

Just as footnote, I am sure some people are wondering why don’t they find another church that is not steeped in prosperity gospel. The situation is quite complex. The members of these churches tend to be from the lower classes and these churches are usually in poorer neighborhoods. People go to these churches for the familiarity and geographic convenience. Besides this, it is the hope of the very poor to have a better financial circumstance and the doctrine of these churches perhaps gives hope for a better material life.

Janaina is presently unemployed. Her husband works as a contract painter. His job is unstable and the pay fluctuates drastically. We asked her what kind of work she would like do. The only response she could give us was that she wanted to be with people. She needs the human contact to be motivated. We told her about a hairdresser school that provides scholarships for low-income families. We visited the school once and the director of the program said that the bulk of training was based on building relationships with the clients and the care and maintenance of the hair is secondary focus of the school. This school is a project that helps underprivileged families. It has acquired such a fame since it started that people from all walks of life want to get trained there. Consequently, there is a long waiting list for students. Janaina’s face lit up when we mentioned this but nothing was said at that moment. A week later she called and asked about the school and we offered to go there with her. Janaina was excited about the possibility at the same time she was trying to figure how to pay for the school. When we got there, the receptionist recognized us from our previous visit and immediately asked if Janaina wanted to apply for the full scholarship. We were surprised that they made this offer to us. We accepted the offer and Janaina will begin her training in a week’s time.

We heard about this school through a friend who is a hairstylist in one of the top salons in the country. The director of this project is his friend and colleague. Janaina got into this school for free because of her friendship with us. We are just amazed how God uses relationships to provide the needs in our lives.

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A Bittersweet Reunion

Better is a little with righteousness than large income with injustice.- Proverbs 16:8

A young woman in her early thirties came up to me while I was talking to a young teenager and she asked if I was staying for good this time. I was taken aback; it was not a question I was expecting from a complete stranger. Then her face began to look familiar. I knew her as a young homeless teenager twenty years ago. Her name is Marcia and she had her fifteen year old daughter, Karin, with her. Marcia named her daughter after one of the German missionaries that worked with us then. I was quite surprised that Marcia remembered me. She told me that she left the streets not long after we left Brazil. She is no longer addicted to drugs nor does she engage in any criminal activities: all of this is in the past. Now she works hard to make ends meet. She has three children and she is recently unemployed. However, she has been doing odd jobs and selling sodas in the streets to help pay the bills. She was in the center doing exactly this. Before she left she told me that she will never forget the day we took her to a picnic with us in a local state park. I can’t hardly remember that day, but for her it was an occasion that marked her soul. I was happy to reconnect with Marcia and I wrote to our friend, Karin, about her. She delighted that Marcia named her daughter after her.

I had a second encounter with our past yesterday.

We found a small community of homeless people who invaded an abandoned park and use old wood and cardboard boxes to build shacks there. There are about a hundred people living there. Most of the older homeless teens have moved to this place. They call this place the Tent. The Tent has a gate and only those who are invited can enter and remain here safely. It is quite dangerous as some of the occupants are robbers and drug dealers. We were invited to this place. It is not exactly a slum area even though it looks like one. There are many children here and we do activities with the children in hopes of stopping the children from making the transition from the Tent to the streets. There are many drugs dealers here but they have their children with them. There are also many here who just want a home or place to live. Some of our older teens fall into this category.

While we were talking to a young boy, a woman came to us and asked if we were missionaries. Again, the question threw me off because most of the time people think we are a social agency, not a church. She saw my confusion and smiled and told us that she remembered us when she was thirteen years living in the streets. She is thirty three now. Her name is Glacia. She has five children but only two are with her. She gave up the street life and does not smoke or drink any alcohol. She decided that she wanted something better. She worked as a maid in another city and lost her job recently. She returned to São Paulo, but was not able to get a job here as well. She moved to the Tent because there is a possibility that the people here will be moved to a housing project. No one knows if this will ever happen but this is their hope.

Twenty years ago, Mary and I worked among the homeless children in the same area. There were about two hundred children concentrated in one particular section in the red light district. Marcia and Glacia were two of these children. I asked Glacia what happened to most of the children. She said that most of them are dead. They were involved in crimes and eventually were killed by violence or drugs. There were only a few that were alive and these were the ones who chose to leave the streets. To tell you the truth, the reality of what she said did not hit me until much later. Perhaps I did not want to believe it. However, when we worked with these children and teens twenty years ago, we always thought that most of them would end up dead if they did not leave the streets. Those who left the streets continue with life’s struggle. There is no fairy tale ending for any of them. Most of them continue to live in abject poverty. Marcia and Glacia struggle to make sure that their children do not go to the streets like them. Glacia lost two of her children because she could not take care of them. She did not have the means. She gave them up for adoption.

Life continues to be hard but it does not mean that they are hopeless. Glacia hopes to get a home in this city. It does not matter if it is tiny and even in the worst neighborhood. She wants a roof for her children. I think she will get it. She has managed to stay afloat all these years even though she barely earned enough to pay the rent. She managed to stay off the streets. She is determined to survive. Marcia will make it as well. Both of them won’t be millionaires but they are true survivors. We are proud to be part of their lives. They give me courage to press on. Their lives put everything in perspective for me. The challenges I face are nothing compared to their daily struggles. Yet they remember the simple things we did for them.

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A Christmas Gift from God

For Brazilians, the pinnacle of the Christmas celebration takes place on Christmas Eve. It is a great family gathering and it is the only time of the year when the city of São Paulo is quiet. The streets are deserted except for the homeless people. Sadly, it is also one of the times of the year where the homeless people really feel and know that they are excluded from society.

One Christmas Eve in 1997, a volunteer from a social agency decided to host a Christmas dinner in the streets with the homeless. He asked if we would be part of this meal and we gladly agreed.  We invited the homeless children and adults that we knew for the feast. My childhood friend from Singapore was visiting with me at this time and he joined us as well. At about 11 o’clock at night we had our Christmas meal with about 30 of homeless friends. It was strange to have a meal in the middle of the streets. However, on that night, I felt something deeply spiritual had happened. I felt like something eternal occurred and this moment would be one of the eternal treasures which Jesus spoke about.  Janaina was part of this group and she was fourteen years old then.

I remembered Janaina opening to us and telling us her life story. She was orphaned at a very young age. Her father died and her mother was a drug addict who gave up all her six children for adoption. Janaina was the youngest.  Her mother eventually passed away. The siblings were in an orphanage together and they made every effort not to be separated.  At one point, Janaina was almost adopted by a German family but she could not bear to be away from her brothers and she became sad and depressed. The adoption fell through. However, her would-be adopted mother never gave up. She is still in contact with Janaina after all these years. The siblings eventually ran away to the streets and in the streets what they feared the most became a reality: they were separated. Janaina lost contact with her siblings and she was alone in the world. She had never experienced a proper family life. She only knew how to survive in the streets. Janaina shared her story without tears or regret. It was just her reality.  My childhood friend was moved by her story and so was everyone for that matter.  He asked if he could pray for her. I remember clearly that Janaina’s face lit up when my friend offered to do this. It appeared to be simple gesture on my friend’s part but his sincerity and genuine concern struck a chord in her heart.

A couple of weeks ago, Mary and I were walking to the Cracolândia when we heard someone calling out our names. We turned around and saw Janaina smiling and looking very pregnant. She is thirty years old now. She was really happy to see us after all these years. She could not believe that we had decided to move back permanently to Brazil. She told us that she is married and expecting her first child. She is currently unemployed but she has been doing odd jobs here and there to help pay the rent. She had been off drugs for several years now and is actively involved in a local church. We invited her to our house for coffee or lunch and a couple days ago, Janaina showed up here with her beautiful smile and looking almost ready to deliver her first child at any moment.

A Happy Reunion

A Happy Reunion

One of the first things that Janaina asked us is whether we remembered that particular Christmas Eve dinner in the streets. I was quite surprised that she remembered that day. She told us that she could never forget that day. She was surprised that we chose to have a meal with those who were excluded rather than with our friends and families. These were her very words. She even remembered my childhood friend and that he prayed for her. I told her that it was a moment from God for all of us. We sensed His love for us all. We were all included in His love. This was better than having a meal with friends and families.

Janaina’s trajectory was a difficult one. She explained that she struggled to leave the streets because the streets were her comfort zone. She has many good memories in the streets because of the bond she had with some of the children and adults. She said that she wouldn’t have survived the streets if it wasn’t for these relationships. Some of these people who had been her support in the streets were drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves and addicts. God used them to help this little girl. God uses anyone who is willing to be His instrument of Love.

Leaving the streets meant that she had to leave the only family she had known.

Janaina misses not having a family. Since they were separated her brothers and sister  have become like strangers to her. However, she is learning that family in the true spiritual sense is not defined by blood but those who are willing to walk together with her in this life. She still struggles with the sense of inferiority. She struggles with feeling excluded in society. These are struggles that perhaps will never go away for her. Others who have left the streets struggled with similar demons. She spent the whole afternoon with us and she was open and expressive. We were amazed how articulate she has become, being able to verbalize and identify her fears and hopes clearly.

Janaina was God’s Christmas gift to us this year. It is a reminder that nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Every gesture or just a simple sitting together to have a meal could remind someone of their true worth. When we had the Christmas Eve meal together, we just wanted to spend time with our friends who were homeless. We did not have any other motives except to enjoy them. I would like to do this again and again but I cannot be stuck in a moment. We are not called to relive past moments. The same God who brought about that eternal moment fifteen years ago is still working here. He has a banquet prepared and He has sent out the invitation. Everyone is invited.

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