Month: October 2018

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Peacefully Not Knowing Anything

So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. Then they called the blind man, saying to him, “Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.” And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus. So Jesus answered and said to him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” The blind man said to Him, “Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road. – Mark 10:49-52

I thought I had everything figured out. I was full of confidence when I left my house. I told Mary that I was going to visit the families in the “favela” near our apartment. We discovered the place by chance. It was a small community of about fifty families. They seemed friendly and open. I remembered feeling proud of myself, I don’t mean arrogance. It was the kind of pride that one feels before doing something altruistic. These people were lost and forgotten in this gigantic city and I discovered them. As I walked to this place, it felt like I was entering another dimension. The community was hidden under a highway bridge. To get there, I needed to cross a railway track which had trash scattered all over. There was stench from the rotting pile of trash. The municipal sanitation services did not recognize the existence of this community. They just had to deal with the ever growing pile of refuse. The houses were made out of flimsy scrap plywood. There was no running water. There were countless dogs and cats being chased around by countless laughing children. It is not the kind of place where joyous sounds are expected. The place invokes sentiments of abandonment and hardship. However, despite its appearance, the children were still able to find the time and space to laugh and enjoy life.

My first visit was with Dona Francisca. She was about my age. Life had been unfair to her and had made look her older than her actual age. I addressed her as ‘dona’ which is a term of respect in Portuguese. She deserved it. She was sitting outside her home smoking her cigarette while dismantling a discarded radio. She was trying to extract the copper. Her callous hands bore scars from the all injuries she sustained from her work. Mine were smooth and soft. She has been working since dawn and it was late in the evening. She managed to gather enough things to get at least $3. Just outside this place there was bakery where a loaf of bread costs more than that. We live in the most expensive city in South America. The amount she earned would not get her far. However, she knows how to survive with little. I stood there thinking what can I possibly say to this woman. My confidence had slowly dissipated. I wasn’t sure what I could say to this toothless woman who worked all day picking other people’s trash so that she could feed herself and her three daughters.

I didn’t say anything. I kept wondering what I was doing there. Maybe I should have just stayed at home. Then I asked her about her recycling activities. She shared about her day and the places where she went. I was interested and at the same time, I wasn’t. I wanted something more than just a friendly chat with her. I wanted to say something about God’s love and the gospel. However, I just drew a blank. She got done with whatever she was doing. Then she looked up and asked me if I could say a prayer for her and her daughters in their tiny little shack. I thought that this was my chance to feel a little useful. I wanted to say a beautiful prayer but unfortunately nothing spectacular came out. It was just a simple regular prayer. Then she said that there were few more neighbors who asked her if I could stop by their houses and say a prayer for them. I did it. I wasn’t impressed with my prayers but at least I am glad that I did not make a complete fool of myself.

I thought that I did not do enough. Nothing I did made the gospel clear, at least this is what I thought. I wanted these people to know that God loved them. Instead I just said some weak prayers. I went back to this place several times. Eventually our friendship grew stronger. On the Christmas of 1998, they came to our apartment for a festive meal. We invited our other friends too. It was quite an interesting mix of social classes. Dona Francisca and her neighbors were the last to leave. They wanted to take a picture with us to preserve the moment. Shortly after this, we were abruptly forced to leave Brazil, Dona Francisca got all her neighbors to put their money together and bought a t-shirt for me. I did not feel like I deserved it but kept it for a long time. I will always remember them. They are part of my eternal fabric. Several years later, when we returned to Brazil, we visited them. They were genuinely happy to see us. They said that we must really love them because we came back to see them.

The mistake I made was that I thought I had something to do with making the gospel powerful and meaningful. As if it was something within my capabilities to do. I learned a lifelong lesson sitting there with Dona Francisca. Instead of trying to be a beacon of the gospel, I should just let the gospel shine through my life. Our good news is not a bunch of words or a doctrine. He is a person. Our words can’t do justice to express the true nature of this Person. He has to manifest Himself through us. His presence gives people the courage to ask for the thing that they desire greatly. Dona Francisca did not need money or assistance from me. She knew how to navigate in this unjust and difficult world. She wanted to know if she was still remembered by God. She wanted to know if her humble household was a place where we could call out to Him. I am glad that I at least had the wisdom to keep my mouth shut and allow Francisca to say what she wanted. I could have ruined it by trying to cover my inadequacy with artificial solutions to problems that she had never asked for my help for.

It always amazes me when I read the gospel story about the blind man. It is not the miracle that impresses me. It is the fact that Jesus never assumed anything. He asked the man what he wanted. I would have thought that the answer was obvious. However, Jesus is a not fool because only a foolish person thinks that he knows what the other person needs in this life. We don’t know anything about what the other feels and senses in their body. Jesus sets the standard for us: never assume anything. It is good for us to humble ourselves and realize that we don’t know what the other person needs. Jesus asked what the blind man wanted. He got the answer. The blind man became his follower for life.

Dona Francisca just wanted me to pray for her so did the rest of her neighbors. Prayers in their household are symbolic for them that God is with them. Danyel asked if we could take him to a public library. Something that he could just do on his own, however, he wants to go with us. This was his way of knowing that he is not alone and can go to places that make him feel insecure. Gigi needed to get her documents. She asked for our help. It was something simple and she could do it on her own. However, she wanted to walk to this place holding Mary’s hand like a little child holding her mother’s hand. She wanted some motherly love.

The blind man yelled out to Jesus even though many thought that he should be silent. He did not care. He sensed the presence of Jesus and it gave him the confidence to ask. It takes a while for me to quieten my spirit to allow Jesus to shine through. Many times I am the greatest obstacle to the gospel. I think that I need to make the gospel look wonderful and powerful. In reality, all I need to do is to allow Jesus to shine while I just become small and invisible.

I am glad that I was in the “favela” even though I felt like a fish out of water. It was a reality that was completely different to my reality and I realized that I had no concrete answers to any of the problems. In the streets today, I feel the same way. The difference is that I am learning to be at peace with not knowing the answers. I just have to allow the Spirit of Jesus to come through my life. His presence will give the people the confidence to share what they desire. Until this happens, it is good to be just silent and wait.

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Reading with Danyel

And when the ten heard it, they began to be greatly displeased with James and John. But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.” Mark 10: 41-42

I don’t know much about cars. I never was interested in them. I learned to drive much later in life and I did it with a certain reluctance. However, when the hood of the car starting smoking, I knew that it would be best to stop. I was in a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. I was in search of trout in the one of the many secluded lakes in state of Maine. I never questioned the wisdom of driving around alone in isolated regions until that moment. This occurred during pre-cellphone days. As I was staring helplessly at the fuming hood, I heard a voice. I did not realize a truck had pulled over to the side of the road. It was a woman’s voice. She said that she saw the the smoking car and assumed that I needed some assistance. I was honest. I told her that I was just going through the motion of looking at the hood. I had absolutely no clue what was wrong with the car. She was with a child in her truck and she told me that she could give a ride to her brother’s house which was nearby and he was a mechanic. There wasn’t much of an option for me so I went with her. Everything worked out thanks to her kindness. This was more than fifteen years ago. Maybe the woman doesn’t remember me at all. We never exchanged names or anything like that. Her willingness to stop and help a complete stranger has left a mark in my life. I will never forget her or her brother. They were willing to be servants to a helpless man whom they never met before. Their actions enriched my soul. They reinforced my hope in the goodness of human beings even though I keep hearing the contrary in the news media.

When I was young child, my uncle asked me the indispensable question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Even though I was barely seven, I was ready with a genuine answer. We lived in a tiny apartment without any TV. My only form of entertainment was looking out of the window and watching people go about doing their everyday things. I had a bird’s eye view of what people did and who was having a good time doing it. My answer came from my untainted observations. I told my uncle that I wanted to be a street sweeper or trash pick-up person. There was a silence first followed by boisterous laughter from my parents and uncle. I was quite surprised at their reactions. This is why I still remember the occasion. I laughed with them not knowing what was really funny. When TV came into our home, I understood. I was exposed to what the world considered successful professions. Greatness in this world means being impressive to others. In my childish naïveté, I thought it was something to do happiness and making the world more beautiful. I realized that I was not ambitious enough. I should aim higher than being a road sweeper (maybe I should use the more sophisticated term, sanitation professional). Now that I am older with a better understanding of my faith, I realized that I gave my uncle the right answer. The road sweepers are quiet servants of society. Their presence in our society makes our lives pleasant and beautiful. Imagine a week without someone to pick up trash or clean the roads. Then you will know why they are so important in our lives.

James and John wanted to be great in the Kingdom of God and so did the other disciples. They followed Jesus because they aspired to be like Him. For the first time in their lives, greatness was accessible to them. In their societies, only nobility could imagine being great. All of us can understand their desire. We want to believe that we are made for greatness. We would follow anyone who promises us this. However, the truth is that eventually most of us give up on the endeavor because, frankly speaking, the “greatness” of this world is not accessible to everyone.

The apostles were mad with James and John because they thought that these brothers were trying to steal “greatness” from them. In a way, they were right. The “great things” that this world offers are limited. Not everyone is going to be a doctor, not everyone is going to a successful businessman or the president. Popular wisdom tells that we can be who we desire to be. We are given random examples of successful people; the famous rags to riches stories. However, they hide the fact that many failed even though they were desirous to do great things. There are countless “riches to rags” stories too. The world offers a life of greatness with a high price. It is not one that is based in love. You need to ruthless and even heartless to be great in this world. The greatest leaders in this world are not necessarily compassionate people. They don’t have time to stop and help a helpless stranded man on the side of the road. If they do, it would be in the headlines because it would be such a rare occurrence. As for servants, they are just around us quietly doing their work and making life precious and beautiful to those who come in contact with them.

Jesus said, “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. “ Mark 10:43-44

Danyel asked us to buy him a book for his birthday. It was based on a video game. We were a little hesitant at first. Video games, over the years, have become gradually more violent and sexually explicit. He assured us that this one was quite decent. We agreed and we got him the book. However, he hasn’t read a book in his life and he needed our help. He asked if I could read to him. I prepared myself mentally to read something tedious because I find these games to be a dreadful bore. On the other hand, reading with our children is an educational opportunity that I never want to forgo. We sat down and read the book together.

The story was a classical tale of battle between good and evil. The plot was immensely complicated. The central character was a wise old man who had to lay down his life to save the whole of humanity. Throughout our reading, Danyel interrupted us to share and explain the significance of all the symbols. He explained to us that the old man who sacrificed his life never really died. The good that he has done never dies. It always resurrected again and again in another person. At the end of each long chapter, I asked if he wanted to stop or carry on, he smiled and said let’s move on. We talked more about the gospel reading this book then we ever did in all our time together.

I don’t think I have ever read so many chapters out aloud in Portuguese before. I never noticed that reading aloud requires our mouth to exercise different muscles which I never knew existed and they were tired. However, it was worth it. We had a special time with Danyel and he enjoyed his time with us. For the short moment we spent together, life was beautiful and special for the three of us. He served us and we served him. He taught us a special lesson; goodness never dies. In reality, there is nothing new in this statement but hearing it from Danyel made it seem special and new.

Being great in the Kingdom of God is not about being impressive to others. It is being like the road sweepers of my childhood who made the world beautiful and peaceful in their quiet manner. It is showing love to a stranded stranger on a deserted road. It is giving because giving in itself is a beautiful and peaceful thing. The road sweepers, the people from Maine, and even Danyel will never read this post. It is okay. They don’t need to do it. The goodness they have deposited in their simple way in my life will bear fruit. Well, at least, it makes me understand the beauty and value of life.

Being a servant is definitely a great way to live our lives.

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Meaningful Life

As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Mark 10:17

Everyone’s talking about money. There is an election campaign going on. Everyone is talking about the economy. Everything seem to be reduced to money. Even in the above gospel story, the name given to this episode was based on the wealth of the young person. However, the focus is really on his question. How did it become about money? He wanted to know if there was something deeper and meaningful for his life. In other words, he wanted eternal life. He wasn’t asking about life after the death. Jewish people in Jesus’ time did not have an elaborate idea of heaven and hell as we do in the modern times. Eternal life was living in a way that his name would be remembered by the following generations. It is something that most of us can identify with. We share his desire. We want to leave our mark in this world. However, I would be afraid to ask Jesus such a question. His answers are not necessarily the ones that we want might to hear. If anything, this young man should be commended for his courage. However, asking the right question is not the greatest challenge. Living the answer is the toughest part. The end of this story is tragic one.

I had a hard time keeping focused this week. We are living in a turbulent and chaotic moment in history. The election results revealed that everything is unfolding quickly. We cannot pretend that the political and social environment do not affect us. When we came here about five years ago, everyone was optimistic. Today, a sense of uneasiness is felt in the streets, not to mention an underlying hostility and hatred that is going to erupt at any moment. Our children were the outsiders of the previous optimism. They are usually outsiders of society but, for some strange reasons, they are always the first to suffer when things fall apart. In this uncertain time, I wonder if I dare to ask the question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Perhaps I would rephrase the question in line with my understanding of Jesus and ask, “How do I live out my eternal life?” The answer came to me in the most unusual way. It came through the testimony of a holocaust survivor.

I have been fortunate to have several unusual but special encounters with holocaust survivors. They seem to appear like angels in significant moments in my life. Once I was on what was supposed to be a ten minute bus ride which ended up to be a two hour long encounter with a elderly Jewish lady from Holland who sat next to me. She wanted to give me something precious from her life and I could not refuse. This time my encounter was not personal but it was through a video clip. I watched an interview of a holocaust victim who was born in Brazil. His family made the mistake of returning to their paternal home for a short visit just as Hitler rose to power. It ended tragically for the whole family and this elderly man spent his late teenage years in the infamous concentration camp of Auschwitch. He remembered clearly meeting met the wretched Josef Mengele twice in this camp. The most amazing thing about this ninety year old survivor was that he had the capability to connect spiritually with me even though there was an immense medium separating us. He shared with his soul and those who listened were transformed eternally.

His testimony was simple. He shared his day to day life in the camp and how he survived. The first thing he learned to give up was his family. He gave up the idea of ever seeing them again or the idea of having a family in the future. Then little by little everything he thought that was necessary for life was taken away from him. The most amazing thing he said was that he still felt alive and never thought about giving up. He shared that the last thing that was taken away from him was his sense of hygiene. His body was infested with bugs and other nasty creatures. His clothes were soiled with human waste. He said that it did not bother him anymore. All he wanted to do was to be with his friends and survive. He wasn’t sure if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He just lived on a daily basis. As he was describing his state, it made me realize that many of the homeless live like he did in the concentration camp. I remember many times that I would try to avoid some of the adults because of the stench that comes from their soiled clothes. I often wondered how they could live like this. Here this man was sharing how he survived in this state for years and eventually he came to accept it. His life was stripped down to mere basics. His enemies tried to dehumanize him but somehow he became more human. He himself admitted that he was amazed how we as humans are able to adapt and still live. He made a lifelong friend there who helped him to push on through. This friend just passed away three years ago. When he was emancipated from the camp, all he wanted do was to eat whenever he wanted and walk wherever he wanted to go. He added that years later, he forgot about this simplicity and started running after acquiring useless stuff. Now, he stopped accumulating things but just enjoys being alive and free. He wants to share the joy of life in its simplicity to everyone. He is living his eternal life now.

When he was asked if he would change anything in his past, he pondered the question for a while and said, “It is part of who I am and I won’t know how to live now without this experience.”

The thing is that this man had so much life that it immediately connected those who were willing to listen. He paid a high price for it. He lost home, parents and even himself in the process. He was stripped down to bare humanity. Now he is full of life. This was something that the young man in the gospel yearned for so much but he walked away because the price was too high. His wealth represented his security. We can identify with him. We like to feel secure. We don’t like things that we believe are necessary to us to be taken away from us. At the same time, we want to impact the lives of people in this world for the better. We want to do this because it is something our souls yearn to do. It is who we are. We are made to be reflection of God’s image. However, there are many things which hold us back. Sometimes they need to be taken away from us to help us discover our true selves. The journey to self-discovery is not easy or pleasant. Jesus took this journey and He fulfilled His calling on the Cross. He was stripped of everything but He gained everything at the same time. The question is there for us to ask. Do we have the courage to live out the answer? I am not sure if I do but perhaps, His grace will give me the strength. I saw His grace being manifested in the face of the elderly man who lived in inhumane conditions for years and yet has gained everything he needs to emanate eternal life.

I don’t think that I have nothing more to add here. I just need to contemplate before asking the tough question. To be honest, I am afraid of the answer.

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A Lesser Known Point of View

The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him. Mark 10:2

“Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them. Mark 10:14-16

I used to think that the central theme of this gospel passage was divorce. I also used to have a simplistic view about these things. I told myself that I would stand against divorce because Jesus disapproved of it. I read this gospel passage in church one Sunday. More than half my congregation were divorced and into their second marriage. They were in the church and I assumed that they were desirous to live their lives for God. Most importantly, I knew and loved them. I was aware of their struggles. Consequently, I decided to preach on something else. Today I am not going to avoid the subject.

The Pharisees were asking a strange question. They wanted to know if God endorsed rejection. They wanted to know if a man could reject his wife in favor of another. It was a trap because they knew that Jesus was against any form of rejection. Jesus gave the perfect answer. Divorce was allowed in the Law because people are cruel and violent. Jesus spoke out against divorce in his time because it was used as a means to discard wives after men got tired of them.

To be discarded is the worst thing that could happen to a human being. Our children and teens would prefer to be hated and despised than discarded. No one thinks about you anymore when you are unwanted. Women had a limited role in Jesus’ society. Being divorced meant that one of their primary roles was stripped away from them. The women had no voice in the question of divorce. They had to endure the rejection and isolation on their own. No one spoke on their behalf. The Pharisees were only interested in knowing if a man had the right to divorce his wife. They did not think much about the women in this matter. However, Jesus was thinking about the women in His response.

Children in ancient times were also disposable things. Today we have made some impressive progress in this aspect but there is a long way ahead of us. Things were definitely worse in the past. A casual reading of a fairy tale from the Grimm Brothers will remind us of what people thought about children back then. Hansel and Gretel were left in the forest because there was not enough food for the whole family. It was the logical thing to do at that time. The children were unproductive members of the family and therefore, they had to go unless they could prove their worth. This was the so-called happy ending of the story for those who can remember. It is a terrible story and maybe I have ruined it for everyone. It was a common idea then that children were dispensable. This idea still prevails. Unfortunately, we live in a place where children continue to be exploited. Our children in the streets are not unlike Hansel and Gretel. Gabriel told us once in complete seriousness that he was helping his mother by sleeping in the streets. She has one less mouth to feed, he said.

The apostles sternly opposed the children’s presence and turned them away from Jesus. The disciples were not being unkind. They were just products of a culture where children had to prove their worth before they could be taken seriously. Jesus was different. He wanted the children to come to Him. He made them first in a world where they were considered last.

Women and children were given the priority in Jesus’ ministry. Children were considered the model of our faith whereas the women were the first to testify the most significant events in the gospels: His Incarnation and His Resurrection. In almost every crucial moment in Jesus’ life, there was a woman present. Mother Mary was a significant presence in His first miracle. A Gentile woman was the only one to win an argument against Jesus… there are just too many to site. These examples could be easily missed if we are reading the gospels or the Bible from a different perspective. However, it would be silly to think that women and children hold a special place because they are more spiritual or holier than the rest. The reason for their special status in the gospels is that they were ones who were rejected and overlooked in Jesus’ society and this attitude continues to the present day. God chooses to see things from the perspective of the underdogs or scapegoats of society. The Pharisees were trying to make their case from their position of authority and power. They wanted Jesus to admit that the Law was on their side. Jesus just pointed out that the Law recognizes their cruel and hardened hearts. Then He stood by those who were rejected and despised.

After almost five years of knowing him, Wanderson finally shared with us about his time in an orphanage. He was there together with his siblings for a long time until a couple adopted him. However, initially he refused to be adopted. He wanted to be his siblings. The couple decided to adopt all of them together. He only had good things to say about this couple. Then Mary asked him why he was in the streets. He could not answer her. He is not the only one. Bruna shared a similar experience. She was in a convent for orphans and then she was adopted by a family. She loves them deeply. She visits them from time to time. However, she would not stay with them. All you have to do listen attentively to their stories and you will hear the fact that they remember being rejected by their biological mother. They were discarded by the one who was suppose to love and embrace them. The rejection is still deeply implanted in their hearts. It was the first thing they encountered in this life and it continues to haunt them. They cannot go through life without feeling this fear that they are going to be discarded at any moment.

Rejection from the one who was supposed to love you unconditionally. How can anyone recover from such a painful rejection? There are many in this world who walk around carrying this pain and loneliness in their soul.

The gospel is not magic. There are a lot of magicians disguised as Christians today. They think everything will be solved by “accepting” Jesus. This is the not gospel of Jesus. Jesus works with us where we are. He starts by sitting next to those who hurt and rejected in this world. He starts by looking at life from their perspective. He starts by listening to them in order to understand their pain and loneliness. Most importantly, you can never find anywhere in the gospels where He gives quick and easy cures to people who are suffering and rejected. Only one who claims to have the power to give such instant results is the devil.

I have often heard about the high divorce rate and the failure of marriage, etc.etc. However, Jesus is not interested in this statistic. He is interested in the souls that have sensed the pain of rejection and isolation. I would imagine that a church that truly follows Jesus would be one filled with people who are divorced, women and men who are abandoned and rejected, and children who have a constant fear of being forgotten and all the scapegoats of our present society. I think that our reading of the gospel will be very different then.

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