“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” Then Jesus said, “I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:10-14

Whenever I have read this parable, I pictured myself as the tax collector. I know that I am not the only one. No one wants to imagine themselves to be the antagonist. We always picture ourselves in the role of the one who comes out victoriously in these stories. It is human nature. We always tend to think that we are better than others even if it is secretly in our deepest thoughts. This is the function of parables. It exposes who we are. The fact is we have as much in common with the Pharisee as with the tax collector. We are not one or the other. We are both the Pharisee and the tax collector. We start out as the tax collector and then we forget and eventually become the Pharisee. The latter is the one who forgot where he came from or who he is. This parable is a warning to our souls not to forget where we came from.

We almost forget these names. No one has mentioned them for a long time. We had no reason to talk about them until last week. Some one wrote all their names on separate pieces of paper and below each name was written, “Present!” One name struck out for us. It was Mateus. His death and murder was similar to that of Renan who was strangely missing from the list. After all, it was his recent murder that prompted the memory of the children and teens who were taken prematurely from us. Maybe they still could not accept the fact that he is no longer among us. We used to sit and watch Renan with his childish mannerisms. Now we miss his erratic and childish behaviors. We saw a young man dressed like him and just for moment, our hearts forgot that he was killed in a brutal manner. No one has accepted that he is no longer with us.

Mateus* and Renan were very similar in life, well at least to us. It wasn’t love at first sight in both cases. We grew to love them. They were very immature for their age. They have bodies that did not reflect their emotional state. They were very childlike in their behavior and easily amused like children. They gradually became part of our lives. Both suffered brutal death. Both suffered hate-filled blows to their heads that ended their time with us. In both cases, the people who committed this heinous crime believed that they were better than their victims. They believed that Mateus and Renan did not deserve to be treated like human beings. However, they were very human to us. They were our brothers, friends and sons. They did not expect much from others. They just wanted to be loved by God and those around them. Whenever they did not feel this Love, they used drugs to help them deal with the emptiness. They carried in their hearts a deep rooted pain that only God knew and rightfully; He is the only One who can judge them.

We sat among the children and waited for them to come to us one by one. After this tragic incident, we know that they would want to talk. They wanted to tell us their connection with what happened and their thoughts about Renan. Danyel came up and sat with us for a while. We told him to avoid this place for a while. The person who murdered once might be tempted to do it again. He agreed. We wanted him to know that he is very precious to us and we don’t want anything evil to happen to him. Danyel then asked us why we thought so highly of him. He continued to say that he did not think that he was not a good person. He believed that he was always doing things that brought harm to himself and he doesn’t think that he helps anyone in the streets. We told him that whenever we see him, we see a kindhearted young man who wants to do what is right. He is always loving towards the others. He never desires anything evil to anyone even to those who did harm to him. He always refused to engage in any activity that hurts another person. Besides, there are things we do in a given circumstances because we need to survive. Danyel uses drugs to endure the harshness of living in the streets. Our answer brought some comfort to him. He then asked me to say a prayer for him. It was the first time he has done this. I asked him if there was anything specific he wanted to ask God. He replied, with any hesitance, “Pray to God to forgive me for my sins.”

It was a beautiful moment that we needed. Danyel and the other children weren’t thinking about revenge for the brutal killing of their brother in the streets. They were thinking about their relationship with God and each other. They realized that there are many who believe that they are not worth a penny. In a way, our presence and your prayers have helped them to know in their hearts that there are some people who like them. We can identify with their emptiness and loneliness. We look at them and we see ourselves in them. We are not better than them. In fact, we are not better than the one who murdered Renan. We don’t understand why people would do such a wicked thing. We are angry with them. We may think that they are people who have succumbed to the evil that is present in this world. Nevertheless, we are not better than them. This does not mean that we are just like them. No, this is not true too. We should stop trying to figure out the actions of others. It is beyond our capacity. We are only capable to know who we are before God. Just like Danyel, he wasn’t comparing himself with anyone else. He just felt strongly that he wasn’t living his life according to what God desires of him. He wants God to forgive him and help him. Danyel doesn’t realize that God has always been listening to him and thinking the best of him like Jesus did of the tax collector.

And as the lepers went, they were made clean. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus asked, “Were not ten made clean? But the other nine, where are they? Was none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.” Luke 17: 14b-19

We always spot Prince first. It’s a sign that Alex is somewhere around. Prince is his latest canine friend. He hasn’t had much luck with dogs for the last few years. Thankfully, the last one did not die on him. Someone stole it from him. It is still tragic but the lesser of the two evils. It was a police officer who took his dog. We don’t know the details and decided to leave it at that. However, it doesn’t take long for Alex to get a new dog. In reality, they find him. It is the strangest thing. He attracts lost dogs, especially the ones that are independent. They voluntarily attach themselves to him. It is more like the adopt him. They take care of themselves and protect him at night.

As expected, Alex showed up but he was visibly upset. He shook our hands and told us that he is not in the right frame of mind to sit and talk with us at this present moment. Someone had upset him. He was very angry. He told us that he will come back when he feels more settled. Both Prince and Alex took off leaving us alone at the steps. We were a little surprised. Not with the fact that he was upset. Our children are always upset over something. However, Alex was able to express how he felt. He has come a long way. It is amazing that this is the same young teenager that we met about six years when he was barely thirteen.

Alex was a severely neglected child. He was always different from the other children. He almost behaved like he suffered from autism or Asperger’s syndrome. He hardly smiled and he never responded when asked him a question. He was completely oblivious to all social cues. He did not even know how to have a basic interaction with a regular person. Most people brushed him off as a rude child. Even the other homeless teens thought that he was strange. We initially felt the same way about him. He was definitely one of the most difficult boys in the streets. He never showed any gratitude whenever you did anything for him. He thought people were a means to an end. He lived off begging which did not help him change his views about people, initially.

Once he had a toothache that was making him extremely miserable. He asked for our help. We took him to the public health clinic but no one attended to his needs. He was homeless and the health care practitioners are not the most compassionate people. They tend to neglect the homeless population because they don’t like the way they smell or dress or for other trivial reasons. After several failed attempts trying to get service, we decided to pay for a private dentist out of our own pocket. It was quite expensive but the young man was in pain. We made an appointment at a private dental clinic. The dentist told us that Alex needed to extract two teeth which was going to cost more. She was not going to give us any discount even though Alex was homeless. Such is life. We agree to pay for the whole treatment. Everything went swiftly. She extracted both his teeth in less than ten minutes and Alex came out of the room smiling. His pain was gone. Then he just walked out of the clinic without saying thank you or even goodbye. He just walked away. Thankfully we have grown accustomed to his strange behavior. Nevertheless, we were still a little offended.

This was a few years ago. Alex gradually changed. He began to smile more. He started feeling comfortable talking to people. He was still awkward but people were patient with him. Eventually, he developed a habit of expressing appreciation and gratitude. At first, it was a mere formality. He did not really mean it, or least, it did not make any difference to him. He was saying these things more as a means to an end. Then, something started changing in him. He began to enjoy saying these things because he liked the response he got. People started talking to him more. He started developing a social life apart from the homeless youths among the business owners and store attendants in the city center. The security staff of the stores where he begged started treating him with affection. Sometimes they would even keep an eye on his things when he used the bathroom. Consequently, Alex became one of the most successful homeless teens. His bags were full of food and chocolates even though he doesn’t seem to like them. On his birthday, people would buy him a cake and give him presents. Alex learned something else. He learned to give what he received. He became aware of those who suffer. He was extremely sensitive to people who had physical challenges. I saw in several occasions helping homeless adults or giving them some of his food. He even wanted to buy special cards for the people with whom he corresponds from the States. We had to convince that it wasn’t necessary but he still insists. Alex has changed but he is still different from the rest. Now, the difference is not his awkwardness but his sense of gratitude. He has a genuine appreciation for the people God has put in His life. He still has a long way to go. All the neglect he suffered doesn’t go away so easily. However, he has found a way the road to healing.

When I read the above gospel story about the grateful leper, I saw Alex’s face immediately. He was once like the other nine who just walked away. Back then, he did not know that you don’t take people for granted. He did not have anyone in his early life to teach him this simple fact. Now, Alex has discovered that people like him for who he is. He is becoming to feel more like a genuine human being with a definite place in this world. As a result of this self-discovery, he has become more grateful. He says “thank you” not because it is the socially acceptable thing to say. He says it because he is grateful that his humanity is being restored each time someone shows him love even in the smallest way.

It is amazing that Alex is able to acknowledge how he feels today. He found the words to say, “I won’t be good company right now.” Even in this simple act, he has shown us that he believes that we deserve his best behavior. This is definitely a powerful transformation. For those who don’t know him, they might think that we are making too much of a simple gesture. However, we have seen him when he first came to the streets, we can hear angels singing and praising God because this young man has discovered something that he once lost. He has found the joy of living. We are glad that we are here to testify to this wonderful transformation. There is still a long journey ahead and we don’t mind it. We are truly grateful for what we have seen so far.

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” The Lord replied, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. Luke 17:5-6

I am not sure if my life would be better if I could uproot trees or move mountains literally. However, it would improve a lot if I could overcome some of the obstacles I find within my soul. My life experiences contribute to who I am but there are some things that obstruct my path of discovering more great and wonderful things about God and eventually about myself. They are intricately connected. These stumbling blocks need to be removed. Sometimes they are a huge mountain that stands in my way and I need to have the courage to move it and cast into the sea to be destroyed. These personal obstructions are more often than not pernicious and detrimental to our souls. They are our Goliath: our monsters that hide under the bed. They are the things that paralyze us from becoming more Christlike in our spiritual walk.

For no rhyme or reason, a homeless adult that was sitting in front of us turned around and said, “Praça da Sé never changes!”. This is the actual name of the place where we minister to the children. It is funny that I have never mentioned it all these years. I always say that we meet at the steps of the cathedral or the “old center”. However, the official name in English means “the Cathedral’s Square”. The man was right. When I came to this place in 1993, there were a phenomenal number of homeless children walking around wrapped in old blankets and on top of this, there were hundreds of homeless adults scattered around. Today, the scene has not changed. The children even use the same type of blankets to wrap themselves. The country has gone through diverse economic and social changes over the past twenty something years and yet nothing has changed. This place remains the same. We have been here for more than six years and things remain the same at best, or in same cases they have become even worse. The plea of the apostles resounds with us, “Please increase our faith!” Sometimes it is hard to feel hope in an apparently hopeless situation.

On our way home, we heard someone calling out after us. We turned around and it was Camila. We met her six years ago when we came back to Brazil. She was only fifteen at that time. I don’t recall having much interaction with her then. She was involved with a group of teens that dealt with drugs. Even so, she would come to us and talk to us from time to time. Our conversations were always very brief. Then she disappeared for a while. We ran into her after few months later to find out that she had been imprisoned in the juvenile detention center. Over the years, our relationship become one of casual encounters. She was always happy to see us. She attributed many things to us that we honestly cannot take credit for. Camila progressed from a lost teenager to a determined young woman who fights for the best for her life. She has grown into a beautiful woman full of life and joy. She came up to us and gave us a big hug. She wanted to walk with us. Our conversation was simple. There were victories and challenges involved. There was nothing extraordinary about these. However, Camila is an orphan and spent most of her life in the streets. She is still technically homeless. She squats in an abandoned house with her boyfriend. She is presently 8 months pregnant. They sell bottled mineral water in the streets to survive. She told us that she has everything she needs for the baby now. She told us that she is going to move on and slowly overcome the mountains in her life. Camila told us in several occasions that we always have been a source of encouragement to her. This is strange for us because we hardly did anything for her. Regardless of this, Camila found something in us that helped her. We literally did nothing for her. However, for Camila, we did a lot. Maybe we are looking for something big that we did for her life. On the other hand, God used our little mustard seed conversations with her to give Camila the strength she needed. Motherhood is going to be challenge for her. Nevertheless, this young woman is going to garner all the faith she has to face the mountains before her.

Faith is something personal and yet it is contagious. It spreads to those around us. It helps them see things that perhaps they never consider before. Camila does not expect faith to change the circumstances of her life. She is too smart to believe this. On the other hand, she needs faith to help live in harmony with what God is doing in her life. She has taught us an important lesson. Praça da Sé might always remain the same. There might always be countless homeless children and adults here. Our faith is not going to change these things. It is not about changing things. It is about helping us become more Christlike. Jesus was and is the most perfect servant of God. He showed us through his life that our faith is sufficient to teach us to be a good and faithful servant, nothing more and nothing less. We are not meant to be political messiahs nor superheroes. We don’t have enough faith for such things. We have faith to be simple servants. Even though we get dismayed with the injustice and violence that surrounds us, we need to use our faith to see that beyond these things. We need to see that there is a hopeful Presence in the midst of hopelessness. This Presence gives us the hope to move on even when things fall apart. We don’t need to be spiritual giants to see this Hope. All we need is a mustard seed faith; something that all of us have within us.