For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw,  each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. 1 Corinthians 3:11-13

Unconsciously we construct our world. We don’t choose the people that become part of who we are. We like to imagine we do but reality is completely different. All of us have had idols in our lives. People we imagined who correspond with who we are.  Eventually these people disappear from our lives and sometimes even from our memory. Their influences just seem like a phase in life’s ever-changing landscape. However, there are people who find their place in our lives without our knowledge. We don’t think about them until they are taken away from us. We feel a little disoriented when their absence becomes evident. It feels as if our foundation has been profoundly disturbed. We never realized that they were part of the fabric of our lives. We cannot explain how and why they are there. When they are gone, we feel something missing that can never be replaced.  

An accident caused a disturbance in our being. A young woman was no more. She was a young preteen when we met her. She hardly spoke to us then. Her parents were our friends and companions in our ministry. They introduced me to this ministry to the homeless children. Her mother played a principal role in Mary’s presence in Brazil. She wrote a simple phrase in a letter to Mary’s father; “We need a summer volunteer who loves children.” Mary said, “yes”, without any hesitation. We found ourselves in the same country doing the same ministry and the perfect environment for love to blossom. However, this post is not about how we met. It is about the young girl in the background that we hardly knew. Somehow she became a fabric of our existence. I don’t know how this happened. It doesn’t matter. It is just one of life’s great mysteries. Many people come and go and some just linger on forever. 

Our thoughts were occupied with prayers and concern the whole of last week. She was hanging onto her life. Like anyone her age, she had a lot to live for. She had a loving husband and a two year old son, not too mention her parents, siblings, countless friends and her students. Everyone cherished her deeply. She touched everyone with her contagious smile and enthusiasm for life. For us, she was always that young girl in the background. We never knew the person that these people have come to appreciate. 

We prayed and pleaded for a miracle. At the same time, our hearts were heavy because we know that we don’t always get what we want. She left this existence peacefully but she did not leave us empty handed. She gave us an intense desire to embrace our existence to the fullest. She lived her life to the fullest and most likely she did not even know it. This is one of life’s paradoxes. The best way to live your life to the fullest is by not trying to do it. Bethany just lived and allowed herself to be who she is. By doing so, she became a source of strength and joy to many. Now they know that the life she lived can never be stolen by death. It is going with us until we depart this space on earth. 

It is strange to feel an emptiness for someone whom we never realized was part of our lives. It even seems awkward to write such a sentence, almost nonsensical. Therefore, it must be real because real life is not always neat and tidy.  People can became part of our lives without being actively involved in our lives. Their simple presence is sufficient. Bethany did not suddenly change and grow up to be a wonderful person. She was always that person but she needed her time to bloom like everyone else. We met her in a time when she was still discovering her joy and peace. Nevertheless, we are glad that we are connected to her in a small way. Now her absence feels painful in our souls. It is good to feel this absence in our souls. It belongs us and us alone. It means that she was real to us.  

Bethany passed away on a Friday. On Monday, we went to the streets as usual. However, this time, Bethany went with us. She sat next to us and reminded us how to live; not to dwell on the non-essentials but just to love those that come to us with their hearts open to receive us. We respected the choice of those who did not have the time for us and focused on those who were ready to share their hearts with us. Such is life. Not everyone is going to love you all the time. However, there is enough reason to celebrate life with the few who love and cherish us.  

Danyel asked me to read from his book. He laid his head on my backpack and closed his eyes. He listened to the story and occasionally opened his eyes to make a brief comment. He stayed in this position for an hour. He was like a little child listening to his father reading to him. This is not work for me. It is a joy to sit and enjoy a young boy whom many forget to enjoy. I loved the fact that he rested his head on my backpack and made me read until my mouth got tired. Then, Felipe walked down the street and asked for our help. He said that he was looking for us all afternoon. He had some problems with his documents. It was something that could be easily done alone. However, Felipe felt secure with us. He did not want to do it alone. We spent about three days trying to sort it out. We didn’t mind it. We were able to spend time with Felipe and he was happy to be with us. It wasn’t work. It was just living our lives. It was enjoying and loving being with the children. They are not homeless children and teens to us. They are our friends and family. We don’t have any relatives in this country. We just have them. For now, they are our lives. Circumstances might change tomorrow. No one knows anything for sure. However, we can be sure that they become part of our existence. As for our existence here in this tiny planet among the vast universe, this is the only life that we know for sure. Life after death is something that we hope for but this life here is what we can sense with our whole being. This is where we discover the abundance that Jesus proclaimed. We have to learn to give our all to what is before us. 

I can’t really explain how Bethany has helped me see this. She just lived her life. I don’t want to transform her into a saint.  She was simply Bethany who filled the spaces available to her with joy. This is something we can all do. This is our path to discover life. She has helped us renew this desire for life. It is strange that it came through her passing. Life is indeed strange. Perhaps its beauty lies in its strangeness and unpredictability.