Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.” (John 12:1-8)

There was really nothing to say. It was really a confession. He told us that he has turned his back on everyone that was precious and important to him. His family and his friends have been hurt and disappointed one time too many. He has made too many empty promises. They have moved and he is still here alone. He misses them dearly. He wished that they were still there for him. He has created a world of lies and illusion and now he feels trapped in it. Drugs and alcohol keep him from seeking help. They numb him into accepting his state of perdition. He always believed that God was with him. However, now he feels that God is silent too. He think that God has given up on him. “I don’t feel like God is with me anymore.” His eyes filled with tears as he shared this. He found it to be unbearable. His tears were for the God who is silent.

We did not want to say anything that would sound like a religious cliché. The moment was too sacred for pat answers. His cry comes from his soul. He needs an answer that can only come from God Himself. We lacked the words that could satisfy his soul. We sat and listened. Maybe it was a time for us to be just there with him and suffer with him in silence, although we cannot imagine his suffering. He feels trapped in a world that he doesn’t understand. He has not found anything that would give the strength he needs to overcome the obstacles before him. Drugs and alcohol are symptoms of a tormented soul looking for meaning in this world. He always believed that he would find what he is looking for one day. He believed that God will reveal it to him. Now, he thinks that even God has given up on him. We were tempted to say, “God would never give up on you.” However, for him, these are just words. He needs something more concrete.

He has been to several drug rehab centers over the years. Every time he believed that he would overcome the addiction. He eventually stopped saying this to himself. This was how we met him the first time. He is a familiar face among the homeless adults. He is young but he is different from the young adults in our ministry. They grew up in the streets. He became homeless in his early twenties. He asked us to help with the bus fare to go to the rehab center. He did not want money. He was honest enough to say that cash in his hands would be converted to drugs or alcohol immediately. He has been always honest. He spent a week in the center and then gave up. To be honest, we knew that he wasn’t going to last in the program. He needs more than a program. He needs a meaning for his existence. Until he finds it, life is going to be unbearable for him.

It is going to take more than a drug rehab program or some method to give anyone living in the streets a reason for living. We have done this ministry before in the mid 90s. We have tried programs and different approaches. They have all failed. Before we returned to this ministry in 2013, I used the above gospel passage as our preaching text. We went to many churches where I boldly proclaimed that Mary, Martha’s sister, was the model for our ministry. She anointed Jesus’ feet with perfume so much so that it’s fragrance filled the room. All eyes were focused on Jesus at this moment. Until then He was a mere guest. Albeit, He was the guest of honor but the attention was not on Him until this moment. Then, I imagined ourselves to be like Mary going to the streets of São Paulo and anointing Jesus’ feet so that all attention would be focused on Him. He is the only one who could give meaning to the lives of these young people and adults in the streets.

When we came back to the streets, we discovered that there were tons of people with the same idea. They were yelling Jesus’ name. They made promises in His name. They said that he could heal. He could restore families. He could perform miracles in the lives of anyone who comes to him. None of these are lies. Jesus could do all these things. They are all promises for someone who wants to look to the future. For those who are suffering, the present and the past are reality whereas the future is a mere dream. Our young man wanted to know the Jesus that was going to be with him in the here and now. He wanted Jesus to say something in his suffering but Jesus remains silent. This is the Jesus whose feet we wanted to anoint. People need to see that even though He is silent, it does not mean that He is absent.

Mary anointed the silent Jesus who contemplated His own pain and suffering. He was preparing Himself for a moment where all would seem as a complete loss and waste of time. He was preparing Himself to experience the sense of hopelessness that haunts those who are abandoned and trapped in a cycle of pain and misery. There are tons of people who want to bring attention to the victorious Jesus. We live in a world where everyone is looking for a formula for success. However, Mary anointed Jesus who was preparing His heart and mind to embrace what the world would consider a complete and utter failure.

Jesus was silently suffering when Mary anointed His feet. His pain was exacerbated with Judas’ false concern for the poor. “You will always have the poor with you”
This is not a license for us to say that it is useless to help the poor. This statement is a sad resignation to the state of the world. It served to add to his pain and suffering. No matter what happens, there will always be people in this world who suffer and are rejected. Even when a large portion of the world claims to be His disciples, there are always people who are constantly being rejected and despised. All these facts confronted Jesus and intensified His suffering. He was silent during the dinner that was held in His honor. He had nothing to say about His imminent death. He only opened His mouth to defend the one person who brought some comfort to His painful soul.

We have been here six years and Mary is still the perfect approach for this ministry. The streets are replete with preachers who proclaim Jesus, the key of successful life. Our down and out children of God are not sure if they can believe in this Jesus. They have heard many formulas of success in these world and the victorious Jesus just sounds like one of the many. They want a “Jesus” who understands the deep sense of hopelessness that they feel in their souls. They want to know the “Jesus” who knows the sense of being trapped in a world that is hostile to them. They want to know the “Jesus” who is vulnerable and suffers with them. They want a savior who knows how to walk with them through this valley of shadow of death.

Alcohol and drugs give a person an illusion of happiness and relief. Most of the homeless adults and children are silent when the effects of these chemicals wear off. Silence is the only way to endure pain and suffering. The young man mistook silence for abandonment. It is understandable. Everyone who speaks about God seems to be always shouting. They make promises that I am not sure God will keep. The only person who broke the silence in the gospel story above was Judas. Mary silently anointed the feet of the One who knows what it means to suffer and face hopelessness. She did not have the answer to the problems of poverty in the world. She knew that the money she spent on the expensive perfume would not resolve the problem of injustice in this world. Therefore, she did what was best for the moment.

We still follow her example. We see the pain and isolation of these young and old people in the streets. We don’t have any magical formulas to solve their problems. We do have one thing. We know that there is One who suffers with them. For many, this does not sound like something practical or concrete. Usually these are the ones who have not experienced desperation and suffering. Judas thought that Mary was wasting valuable resources. However, she was setting an example for the rest of us. We should use our limited resources to draw attention to silent and suffering Christ who is able to give hope to those who suffer in this world.