“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” Then Jesus said, “I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:10-14

Whenever I have read this parable, I pictured myself as the tax collector. I know that I am not the only one. No one wants to imagine themselves to be the antagonist. We always picture ourselves in the role of the one who comes out victoriously in these stories. It is human nature. We always tend to think that we are better than others even if it is secretly in our deepest thoughts. This is the function of parables. It exposes who we are. The fact is we have as much in common with the Pharisee as with the tax collector. We are not one or the other. We are both the Pharisee and the tax collector. We start out as the tax collector and then we forget and eventually become the Pharisee. The latter is the one who forgot where he came from or who he is. This parable is a warning to our souls not to forget where we came from.

We almost forget these names. No one has mentioned them for a long time. We had no reason to talk about them until last week. Some one wrote all their names on separate pieces of paper and below each name was written, “Present!” One name struck out for us. It was Mateus. His death and murder was similar to that of Renan who was strangely missing from the list. After all, it was his recent murder that prompted the memory of the children and teens who were taken prematurely from us. Maybe they still could not accept the fact that he is no longer among us. We used to sit and watch Renan with his childish mannerisms. Now we miss his erratic and childish behaviors. We saw a young man dressed like him and just for moment, our hearts forgot that he was killed in a brutal manner. No one has accepted that he is no longer with us.

Mateus* and Renan were very similar in life, well at least to us. It wasn’t love at first sight in both cases. We grew to love them. They were very immature for their age. They have bodies that did not reflect their emotional state. They were very childlike in their behavior and easily amused like children. They gradually became part of our lives. Both suffered brutal death. Both suffered hate-filled blows to their heads that ended their time with us. In both cases, the people who committed this heinous crime believed that they were better than their victims. They believed that Mateus and Renan did not deserve to be treated like human beings. However, they were very human to us. They were our brothers, friends and sons. They did not expect much from others. They just wanted to be loved by God and those around them. Whenever they did not feel this Love, they used drugs to help them deal with the emptiness. They carried in their hearts a deep rooted pain that only God knew and rightfully; He is the only One who can judge them.

We sat among the children and waited for them to come to us one by one. After this tragic incident, we know that they would want to talk. They wanted to tell us their connection with what happened and their thoughts about Renan. Danyel came up and sat with us for a while. We told him to avoid this place for a while. The person who murdered once might be tempted to do it again. He agreed. We wanted him to know that he is very precious to us and we don’t want anything evil to happen to him. Danyel then asked us why we thought so highly of him. He continued to say that he did not think that he was not a good person. He believed that he was always doing things that brought harm to himself and he doesn’t think that he helps anyone in the streets. We told him that whenever we see him, we see a kindhearted young man who wants to do what is right. He is always loving towards the others. He never desires anything evil to anyone even to those who did harm to him. He always refused to engage in any activity that hurts another person. Besides, there are things we do in a given circumstances because we need to survive. Danyel uses drugs to endure the harshness of living in the streets. Our answer brought some comfort to him. He then asked me to say a prayer for him. It was the first time he has done this. I asked him if there was anything specific he wanted to ask God. He replied, with any hesitance, “Pray to God to forgive me for my sins.”

It was a beautiful moment that we needed. Danyel and the other children weren’t thinking about revenge for the brutal killing of their brother in the streets. They were thinking about their relationship with God and each other. They realized that there are many who believe that they are not worth a penny. In a way, our presence and your prayers have helped them to know in their hearts that there are some people who like them. We can identify with their emptiness and loneliness. We look at them and we see ourselves in them. We are not better than them. In fact, we are not better than the one who murdered Renan. We don’t understand why people would do such a wicked thing. We are angry with them. We may think that they are people who have succumbed to the evil that is present in this world. Nevertheless, we are not better than them. This does not mean that we are just like them. No, this is not true too. We should stop trying to figure out the actions of others. It is beyond our capacity. We are only capable to know who we are before God. Just like Danyel, he wasn’t comparing himself with anyone else. He just felt strongly that he wasn’t living his life according to what God desires of him. He wants God to forgive him and help him. Danyel doesn’t realize that God has always been listening to him and thinking the best of him like Jesus did of the tax collector.