Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” John 11:43b-44

“I am not afraid of death.”* This is the title of a song by a famous Brazilian singer, Gilberto Gil. Death, the lyrics tell us, is after the fact but dying is a different story. This; he fears the most. Dying happens when you still know, feel, sense and dread what you are losing. The song was well-received a few years ago. It expresses how we all feel. Perhaps, most of us in regular times avoid giving much though to it. Unfortunately, we find ourselves living in strange times and death is very much the topic of the day.

An awkward silence reigns in this city of 12 million. The streets are almost empty and those who graze its sidewalks do it out of necessity. Some of them work to help others survive but most of them are in the streets because they have to work to survive. Then there are the homeless. The others avoid all contact with anyone but the homeless still say, “Hi”. They miss the way things were too. Besides these few souls, the streets are deserted. I live in the center where it is always vibrant and full of life. Today, it looks like how it does on Christmas Eve, except there is no celebration of life. We just have the silence. I miss the noise. I miss the random drunk man singing out of tune in the early mornings. I miss the cars passing blaring the worst possible selections of music. I miss signs of life. The quiet brings with it a sense of despair and melancholy. Although, we are aware that this quarantine is just a temporary thing, it touches something deep within our humanity. It has made us conscious of something. Everything we thought to be stable and sound appears to crumble down. We don’t know what to expect. We can’t exactly say what we want to expect.

I did not send these prophets, yet they have run with their message; I did not speak to them, yet they have prophesied. -Jeremiah 23:21

Sad to say in times like these, there is an abundance of false prophets. They prophesy without listening to God. They speak for Him without being appointed to be His spokesperson. They have the same message of the false prophets in the biblical times. They announce the same lies. They say everything is going to be alright because this is what we want to hear. There is nothing essentially wrong with this message. Eventually, everything will pass. However, some people will die. Some will lose their loved ones. Some will never forget the callous words spoken during these times. Some will always remember how others have disregarded the safety of their vulnerable friends and families. It is not going to be alright for them. Besides, it is not the content of their message that makes them false prophets. They claim to speak for God where as God is a God who is near. He will speak to our hearts directly. The problem is not that God is silent. We have been letting others do the listening for us. These are the false prophets. They claim to listen to God for us. We need to listen His voice ourselves. He is a God who is near. His words are powerful and living. False prophets give easy answers but it is not a time for easy answers. It is a time for waiting and listening intently to the still small voice of our Creator.

It is also an amazingly appropriate time to read this story of Lazarus from the gospel above. I was not able to reflect this text in the streets during my interaction with the children. There was no direct contact with them this week. We are confined in our apartment like most people around the globe. We had plans to go to the streets. We wanted to make sure that our children and teens were doing alright. Well, at least, we wanted them to know that we are thinking and praying for them. As far as we know, nothing has been done to help homeless adults and children. Since this is a contagious disease, sending them to a shelter is not an answer. There hasn’t been any adequate answer for the welfare of the homeless because no one has even considered the question. There are just too many things happening. The homeless are usually ignored in regular times and nothing has changed for them in a time of crisis. This is just the sad reality. We wanted to go to the streets to make sure that they understood what was happening. Unfortunately, Mary was not feeling well. We decided to play it safe and quarantined ourselves. Then, the city officially shut down a few days after. We are separated from our children and the children are separated from us. One of the teens got a hold of cell phone and called us to see if we were okay, especially Mary. He told us that some managed to find places to stay temporarily. Some are on the move constantly and others are just sleeping in the streets. In a way, the children are freer than us. They can go where they want. Although it comes with a price, they are also exposed to great danger. On the other hand, we have lost our freedom but we are safe relatively speaking from diseases and dangers just like Lazarus when he was in the tomb. The dead have nothing to fear so to speak. We are safely entombed in our apartments but we desire to be free and living.

I never thought to imagine reading this story from the perspective of Lazarus. Needless to say, Lazarus was literally dead but we are just experiencing detachment from the life that we lived. We are separated from the ones we love. We can’t go to places that we enjoy. We can’t even get a book from the library. Everything we did that made life rich and pleasant for us is out-of-bounds. We still have technology to connect us but it is not the same. It is unlike being connected to something that is at once real and tangible. I hear the voice of Wanderson and Felipe whenever they leave messages on our phone. They can only say simple things because they are not accustomed to communicate through a phone. They need someone to be in front of them to warm up and talk openly. For now, our conversation is limited to the basic, “how are you and I hope you are fine” followed by an awkward silence. It seems like this silence is haunting us constantly.

Death separated Lazarus from his family. He was no longer part of their daily routine. He was no longer a presence. We have not experienced this yet. We just are separated. We are given a foretaste of what it is like to be dying. We cannot be with the ones that made our lives here joyful and rich. We are waiting for a word that would end all of this. However, it is not a word from the authorities that is going to end this sense of despair that is creating a barrier between us in this city. We need to hear a word that will bring life to our soul. We need to hear the word that Lazarus heard as he slept in the tomb. We want to hear the voice of our Lord calling us to come forth. It will the voice that will give us the courage to face what is in store in the aftermath.

Lazarus’ soul was quickened not because some else told him what the Lord said to him. He heard the voice of Jesus for himself. I think that we have been listening to countless of voices screaming at us in this world. They have been pulling us in all directions. Now, silence has shaken the foundations of these babble. We might be tempted to avoid this uncanny quietness. It might us face things about ourselves or our fragilities that we pretended did not exist. Maybe it is making us deal with our life or the the lack of it. Regardless of this risk, we need this calmness. We need to learn how to listen again to the voice that is going to give us the power to live our life and live it abundantly.

Lazarus stepped out of the tomb a renewed person. He knew that death cannot take away what eternity has given to him. It had given him the strength and courage to be a testimony to those around him to live their lives to the fullest. This is our hope as we sit and wait for a word from the Lord.

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!” The woman said to him, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.”- John 4:16-20

I am not sure which is worse; being in an unhappy relationship or being alone. Our children and teens understand this dilemma more than us. They are confronted with it all the time. They ran away from their unhappy families and found themselves all alone in the streets. They were free from oppression but loneliness was too heavy a burden to bear. They have to find a way to be part of a group even if it meant doing something immoral to become part of it. Anything is better than being left all alone in this world. In the meantime, they are aware that the companionship that is also fragile and temporal. It is based on a common desire to be connected with another fellow being. It is not a strong enough thread to hold them together. The possibility of a rupture is always present. Loneliness always plagues them. They use drugs to forget its reality, but they do not help. They sense their isolation even more when they are high. Loneliness never abandons them. It is not just a reality for our children. It is something we all share as human beings; the fear of being alone.

The Samaritan woman from the gospel text tried desperately to overcome her loneliness. Jesus revealed that He knows that she had been married five times and now she was a concubine. He wasn’t trying to shame her; neither was the woman offended by his statement. To the contrary, she was even more amazed that Jesus spoke to her. She was ostracized by her community for many reasons. For a Jewish person only one was sufficient. She was a Samaritan. Jewish people did not have anything to do with Samaritans. Despite this, Jesus wanted her to give Him a cup of water. Sharing a cup was quite intimate back then. They wash the cup like we do today. It was a common cup and one she most likely drank from. Jesus wanted to share this cup. Perhaps, He wanted her to be part of His reward.

“whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.”- Matthew 10:42

Besides being a Samaritan, this woman was also marginalized from her community. She could not draw water from the well at the regular time. She had to go when there was no one around. She did not expect a Jewish person to be sitting by the well, let alone talk to her. Jesus mentioned her past to let her know that neither her ethnicity nor her reputation were going to hinder Him from talking to her.

It appears as if she drastically changed the subject from her past to a religious topic. This is not the case. She did not change the subject. It was Jesus who did it. He recognized something noble in her. Something, perhaps others have overlooked. She was a person who did not fear facing the Truth even when it wasn’t favorable to her. It did not necessarily mean that she was going to change her lifestyle. This is a misconception. People think that just mere knowledge of the Truth will transform the person. We have people who know right from wrong and yet deliberately commit the most detrimental actions. Unfortunately knowing the Truth does not automatically erase loneliness. It doesn’t free us from the fear of living a life in isolation and anonymity. These were the fears behind this woman’s decision. It is not just her. It is something that all of us are very capable of doing. She did not marry five men and then settle to being something less for the sake of pleasure. It was because she did not want to be alone and forgotten in this world. Ironically her desperate actions consequently isolated her from the rest of the world. Something our children and teens can understand. If Jesus was in the streets where we minister, He would most likely ask for a glass of water from them even though He knows that it might not come from the most hygienic source.

Jesus showed the woman that He was willing to receive what she had to give Him, even if the rest of the world thought that it was scandalous and even ceremonially unclean. He wanted to show that He understood her. He knew everything about her and He understood her and accepted what she had to offer. This opened the door for her to share her deepest concern. She wanted to know about the Truth that would liberate her. She did not change the subject of the conversation. She brought it to a deeper level. She wanted to know if her worship could fulfill the void she sensed in her soul. She wanted to know the right answer to overcome the loneliness that had plagued her all her life. Maybe she thought the answer was found in the Truth spoken in the Law. To be honest, the answer that Jesus gave did not make anything clearer.

“The hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” -John 4:23-24

I searched for the answer perhaps through our interactions with the children this last week. We had many pleasant and enriching encounters. However, they did not make this particular subject clearer to me. Then, on Saturday, I received a call from Felipe. He ran out of money for food. There was an emergency. One of his wife’s children injured his foot and they had to rush to the hospital. Thankfully, it wasn’t too serious; a couple of stitches resolved the problem. Nevertheless, taxi costs money and all their limited resource was depleted. Thankfully, we have more than we need so we were able to share. We decided to meet near my home. It was a nice day. Mary was under the weather due to a weak cold. We thought that with the present state of events it would be best if she rested at home. I asked Felipe if he wanted to go on a walk. He was more than willing. On the weekends, a highway bridge running along the center is closed to cars and it becomes a pedestrian walk way. It is about two miles long. We walked on it. It was great to have this time just to talk about anything that came into our minds. Recently, Felipe has developed this intense desire to learn and improve himself. He was asking me question after question. One was of an ethical nature. He asked me if we saw someone leading a self-destructive lifestyle should we confront them with the Truth? I honestly told him that I am not sure if we have the ability to convince anyone to do anything. Each person decides for themselves what they believe to be the best. Since we are not them, we cannot comprehend their reasoning and help them see things as we see it. Felipe pondered briefly on what I said and he responded, “It is better for them to come to the realization themselves.” I agreed. Then he asked what is our responsibility towards them. It was a difficult question to give an adequate answer. Maybe the answer is the answer Jesus gave to the Samaritan woman. We need allow the God who is Spirit to draw us unto Himself so that our lives will permeate with the Grace of the Spirit and the Truth. I actually said these exact words to Felipe. He understood. I think that I understood too. God used this conversation to make things a little clearer for me.

Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman not to remind her of her own faults. He made it very clear to His disciples that He did not come to condemn but to bring healing. This does not come by pointing out the symptoms of illness. It comes from addressing the deep rooted desire of all people. The woman sensed in Jesus the answer she was seeking. It wasn’t expressed in His words. It was Him. His acceptance of her and His desire to share her cup despite her being a Samaritan, revealed to her that perhaps the answer she is looking for is open and available to her too. Jesus worshipped the Father in Spirit and Truth and this opened the eyes of this lost and lonely soul to communion with the One who will never abandon or reject her.

After my walk with Felipe, I felt that I participated in true worship even though I know that the next day I won’t be able to go to church because of the present pandemic. Regardless of this, God still met me where I was.

Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.” Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” John 3:1-3

I used to evangelize to random people in the streets. It sounds strange for me to say it now. It is strange even to imagine that this was ever true. Alas, it was so. I never felt comfortable doing it. I never listened to my reticence. Instead I thought that perhaps I was being too embarrassed about the gospel. I summoned up all my courage and approached a complete stranger. It would begin with a casual conversation and then I would conduce my interlocutor to the topic of being “born again”. Most people were kind and obliging. They would listen and sometimes they would contribute to the conversation. Most of the time, I was the one talking. Then I went back to church and reported that I accomplished something significant. However, now I am questioning myself. Maybe I was just abusing the good nature of many people. They sensed my sincerity and they kindly accommodated me. Today, I see people going around the streets doing the same thing as I did before. There is a difference now. Now, I am aware that the questions dealing with our spirituality are very personal and intimate. They touch the very core of our existence. It is not something an healthy person should discuss with a random stranger. It must be handled with great care and sensitivity. When someone opens up their souls to us regarding their deepest inner struggles or doubts, it demands a commitment on our part. We need to understand that they are inviting us into a sacred place. Unless, we are willing to commit, we should perhaps think twice before we talk about God. Evangelism is not about spouting out religious jargon. It is a relationship.

The gospel text above is perhaps the first recorded incident of an evangelistic conversation. The setting is one which is private and intimate. Nicodemus was a religious man in the positive sense. He genuinely desired to know God. This is why he sought Jesus. He discovered something remarkable in Him that made him feel comfortable to share the concerns of his innermost being. He perceived that Jesus presented something new and vibrant. He desired what Jesus possessed. However, he wanted a religious answer from our Lord. He thought that it was a matter of following certain doctrines and rituals. This is the very essence of our human spirituality. We desire a deeper spiritual life but we want it to be something that we can control. However, whatever Jesus is offering is beyond our dominion. We cannot demand it. We cannot attain it through our religiosity. It comes to us as the Holy Spirit desires. It is given to us through grace.

“The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)

It is not something that happens with our words or rituals. An excellent preacher is not going to make the Holy Spirit act. This is something as a young Christian I knew intuitively and yet rejected in practice. I believed that my persuasive words could bring about an inner change in someone. I reduced everything to a simple prayer which I desired my interlocutor to pray. However, a prayer is not going to force the Holy Spirit to transform souls. God’s spirit will decide the right time and place to bring new birth to a person’s soul. Nicodemus was amenable to become part of this creation. He spoke to the very Person who ushered this New Era and even then, Nicodemus had to wait. Something needed to occur in his soul. We will never know what exactly. It is different with each person. We know that Nicodemus did not become a follower of Jesus there and then. It was just not his time. However, the Holy Spirit was working in him, if not, he wouldn’t have come to see Jesus. On our Lord’s part, He allowed the Holy Spirit to do His work in Nicodemus’ life. He did not force him to say a prayer or subject him to some religious rite to hasten the process.

There was something special in Jesus that drew Nicodemus to Him. In the Gospels, the authors call this authority. Unlike the authorities of the world which generate fear or demand submission, Jesus attracted people unto Himself. People who would normally be rejected by the religious and civil powers flocked to our Lord. Something was different in Him, or rather, He saw something special in them. They sensed this in their souls. Jesus was able to penetrate into their deepest being and perceived the Temple of God present in each of their souls.

I recently learned the meaning of a word that I thought I knew all my adult life. I used it frequently in my writings without really understanding its essence. The word is “contemplation”. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it means “entering into the temple”. Whenever we contemplate on something or someone, we are going beyond the superficial and discovering the divine manifested in the person or object. This simple discovery I made has given me new vocabulary for my understanding of evangelism. I used to feel embarrassed to share the gospel to people because I was trying to construct a temple in their souls with my words. It is not my place to do this in anyone’s soul. However, I have had encounters where I was able to talk meaningfully about God’s love where there was a sense of mutual spiritual edification. In these instances, I first recognized the presence of the divine in the person and consequently, the person opened up the conversation to the subject of God’s love.

When Jesus spoke to people, His words quickened in their souls the awareness of a temple present in them. Jesus saw it first before he could address it. If I want to speak the gospel into the lives of people, then I need to contemplate God’s presence in the lives of our children. In a way, I have been inadvertently doing it. I am able to see the divine present in them which has been a great source of encouragement and renewal for me. However, sometimes we meet someone who is so distraught and damaged by the circumstances of their lives that it is hard to see beyond the superficial. Rosalie is a perfect example of such. Recently we shared about her with our friends. A very serious question was posed, “How do you communicate the gospel to someone like her?” I did not have a certain answer then. However, this week, she gave us a glimpse of one.

She came out of the Cathedral looking a little relieved and animated. This is quite rare for this young adult. She suffers from array of issues and mental illness is definitely one of them. Consequently, she is constantly vacillates between violent outbursts of anger and profound sadness. Almost everyone knows that she has to deal with some profound challenges and most of the teens are tender towards her, albeit there are a few who torment her too. She seldom converses with us. In fact, most of the time she just flat-out ignores us. However, recently she complained to Mary that we never give her any attention. She is definitely not an easy person. Despite this, we do feel strongly for this young woman. She is a lost and lonely soul in this harsh world. She has become someone that most likely she never desired to be. Her circumstances and situations have shaped her personality. Today, however, she looked relieved as she stepped out fo the church. She came out and told us that she prayed the rosary. She explained how it was said to Mary and then asked her if she ever prayed the Rosary. Mary admitted that it was not part of her spirituality but told her that I did it once in a while. Rosalie just wanted to tell us this and then she left. The rest of the week she fluctuated between anger and tears.

There are so many things happening in Rosalie that it is hard to see the temple pf God dwelling in her. We are always left astounded by what is happening on the outside. However, we will never been able to say something meaningful to her until we are able to see the divine present in her life. This cannot be achieved in a single encounter. It will happen when the Holy Spirit moves. Until then, there is one thing for us to do. We will: learn to contemplate on her life. The Temple of God dwells in her and the Holy Spirit will open the doors for us to see the beauty of this young woman. Then she will be ready to receive or even listen to us. All this will happen one day when the Holy Spirit decides. Until then we wait.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matthew 4:1)

Pedro is new to the streets. We hardly know anything about him. In fact, no one knows much about him except that he comes from a Brazilian state in the Northeast furthest away from São Paulo. No one knows how he ended up in this city. At first, we thought he was only seven years old. He is the smallest boy among our children here. However, he always insisted that he is 10. It seems to be the truth. No one can deny that he makes up for his small stature with his larger-than-life personality. He found acceptance among the children and teens almost immediately. He is quite a charmer. However, today, he did something wrong. The older teens were trying to explain to him how things work in the streets. He wasn’t listening. Besides, he was not the least bit remorseful for his actions. Nevertheless he regretted being caught for his actions. He had caused a scene in the Cathedral. No one knows exactly what happened. The church’s security guard was clearly upset. He complained to the other teens about it. They like and respect him. He has always been kind to them. I asked one of the older teens what happened. She just shook her head and said, “Pedro thinks is above the Law and he can do what he wants. He has to learn that not everything is permissible here.” She is right.

Pedro like most of our children and teens ran away from an environment where they felt oppressed and restricted. In the streets, all these previous restrictions and abuses are suspended. In fact, everything changes in this place. All the rules and norms of society are not applicable here.If a casual passerby were to sit and observe this place for a moment, he would conclude that this place where we minister to the children is an urban wilderness. Children can do adult things without any restriction or prohibition. Pedro thinks this is great. He is taking full advantage of the situation. He is free but soon he will learn that he is not free to do what he wants. There are new sets of rules for his new reality. He has to learn them soon if he wants to survive in this wilderness.

Jesus chose to go the wilderness for different reasons. He went to confront the devil there. Recently, we had a discussion over this particular text with our friends over coffee. They wanted to know if this encounter was literally or figurative. I told them that the story is not about the reality of the devil, but about confronting all the things that he represents. The devil is a depiction of our human desire to usurp godhood from God Himself. We want to do this by domesticating Him; by using the gifts He bestowed upon us for our own special advancement and by manipulating Him to become our servant. All of us have this desire. Sometimes we ignore it. Sometimes we justify it with pious arguments. Sometimes we think that this is our right to have this desire. Whatever it is, we need to confront it in order to understand the gospel. Jesus went to the wilderness to do this.

Jesus was taken away from his family, friends and everything that was familiar to him. He was stripped of everything that made him who he was. Then He fasted for forty days. His physical strength was almost depleted. He was alone in a frightful place. Emotionally he must have felt vulnerable and abandoned. The only person present with him was the devil trying to convince Him that He deserved better than this.

The word, “temptation”, has been banalized especially in our present times. Maybe it was always like that. The word conjures up images of being seduced to do something naughty or prohibited.However, in this gospel story, the devil tempted Jesus with reasonable things. There was nothing wrong or evil about he said. Perhaps, bowing down to worship him could be conceived as evil. However, even in this case, it could be argued as a proposal to get things done in a quick and efficient way. In this present state we find ourselves, many people including religious ones are convinced that two wrongs can make a right. Therefore, for these people, the temptation to bow down and worship the devil could be brushed as a mere necessary evil.

To turn stone into bread or in other words to use our spirituality for our own personal benefit; to make a spectacle of a miracle so that more people can see the power of God manifested in Jesus and drawing complete attention to oneself, and finally, to make an unholy alliance with an evil ruler so that we can supposedly do some good. Many are already doing all these things today in and outside the church. On the other hand, Jesus systemically refused all of these “good” offers because…..He knew that God was doing something new. These ideas or temptations of the devil come from the old way of thinking. They are fruits of the old Adam who wanted to be like God and acquire God’s power for his own personal benefit. If Jesus had entertained any of these seductive solutions, then He would be just continuing the same old pattern that leads to the path of self-destruction. In the wilderness, Jesus had to decide what kind of person He was going to be so that the gospel could truly be the good news.

I like little Pedro. He is really a good and kind boy. I believe that he will eventually choose to do the right thing. However, he needs help to make the right choices. I am convinced that he is not going to be lectured into doing the right things. No one I know has become a good person through constant nagging. Pedro is looking for new reasons to be good. He wants to discover a new set of ethics that would help him understand how to live in this cruel world that has left him technically an orphan. Before he leaves this urban wilderness, he needs to develop some tools to help him confront this world that has rejected him.

Young Pedro also has helped me understand something about myself. We are too in this urban wilderness. We have been brought here by the Holy Spirit. I believe now that all our children and teens are also here because they have been led here by the same Spirit. This is not to say that the Holy Spirit caused all their misfortunes so that they could be in the streets. I am saying that despite all the evil and tragedy that they have experienced, the Holy Spirit continues to lead and guide them. We are all brought together to this place. Some things from the past don’t have any value in the wilderness. I used to be proud to be an Anglo-Catholic priest. I know how to chant the Morning and Evening Prayers from our prayer book. I know a lot of religious jargon. All these are meaningless in this wilderness. Even if I was a pastor of a mega church, it would be irrelevant here. The wilderness does this. It strips us of all masquerades and leaves us with nothing but our frail humanity. This is when we discern the lies of the devil. Jesus was not tempted by the devil. The devil was exposed in the wilderness. None of his arguments were mildly seductive to our Lord. He knew that despite His frail state, there was something more powerful and deeper in our humanity that will sustain us. The devil can be at our side with his lies but the Truth dwells in our most intimate being. The reasonable arguments of the devil cannot shake this truth from our souls. Jesus held onto this in His soul and went back into the world to overcome it. Therefore, we sit with the children and wait with them. For now, we hear the pointless chatter of the devil. Some of our children are seduced by it. However, most of them can see through it. Now, they are waiting for the Holy Spirit to teach them to listen to the voice comes from within. The voice that speaks the Truth that will cast out all fears and threats that the world throws at us and our children.