Jesus put before the crowds another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” Matthew 13:31-32

Felipe wanted me to remind him again what exactly is a parable. I lost count of the number of times I have done this. Neuroscience tells us that we learn by repetition. Felipe is on the right track. He needs to hear it explained several times before he can fully grasp it. However, each time I feel less and less confident of my own answers. I used to think I knew exactly what a parable was. Now, Felipe is changing all this. I gave him an answer but I wasn’t quite sure if it was satisfactory. It is good to have someone like him around. He challenges me to rethink about what I know and what I don’t know. I realized that if I cannot explain it clearly, then it is possible that I might not totally comprehend it. Thanks to Felipe, I am beginning to think that I am not as smart as I once thought.

The subject of the parables came up because of a new bible we gave him. I met him in the streets to hand it over to him. He wanted to read our bible study passage before our regular meeting on Sunday. He also informed me that Bruno was around. He was working on getting his identity card. It appears, according to Felipe. that Bruno is having doubts about staying with his new-found family. I wasn’t surprised. Bruno has been living in the streets for almost fifteen years. Until recently, he had no memory of his sister and wasn’t even aware of the existence of his other three siblings. They were all strangers to him. It would be expecting too much of Bruno to adapt to his new environment immediately. Felipe had arranged with Bruno to meet with us.

Bruno was at his usual spot begging. While we were together, many people walked by and commented that they missed seeing him. He has left his mark in the lives of these people. He had a new haircut which made him look more handsome than before. He seem to emanate an aura of confidence and peace or maybe this was just my impression. There is no such thing as small talk with the homeless youth. They always get straight to the point after the initial, “Hi!”. He blurted out that he wasn’t going to stay with his family for long. I think that he wanted to see my reaction. The three of us sat down together and talked. It was quite pleasant. In another time and another place, people would think that we were three bank robbers planing a heist. There we were wearing masks and talking intensely with a space between us big enough to fit a table. Instead we had Felipe’s cat in the middle which Bruno needed for his setup as a beggar. However, this time, when people came by, he did tell them that this is his friend’s cat. Once upon a time the animal was used as a ploy to gain sympathy from the people. Now, it is a gateway for them to strike up a conversation with him.

We talked together for a long time. It was one of the rare moments where everyone contributed together and there was truly a sense of a creative bond taking place in our hearts. Bruno started out with an interesting statement, “I don’t want live a lie anymore!” He asserted that he wants to assume his true age. He has been 21 for the past 8 years or so. Now, he wants to be who is he. He also admitted that he liked living in the street. He has grown accustomed to it. It is where he was learned to love and discover love. This would have sounded strange to me a few years ago. Maybe, Bruno would not have told this to me back then. Now, things have changed. I am not really sure what has changed. It is not something that is easy to pinpoint. In a way, all of us have changed. We are able to listen to each other and appreciate each other’s experience. More importantly, there was no more need to pretend. Felipe and Bruno can be honest with us now.

 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” Matthew 13:45-46

Felipe added that there are many bad things in the streets but they also discovered many good things too. I can appreciate this. It is our nature to survive in any given situation regardless of the circumstances. Our children and youth find themselves abandoned in the streets and need something good to cling onto in order to endure the hardship. In many ways, the friends they met in the streets are the precious pearls making life bearable for them. Bruno quickly added that despite all the negative experiences, they also learn to depend on God in the streets. They sense God’s protection and love in a profound way. I think that this is becoming clearer to them. Their spirituality is one which is formulated through their experiences in the streets. They discovered love in unlikely places and they attribute God for opening their eyes to see His Love always close to them. For most of us, our spirituality is derived from doctrines we learn in a comfortable and safe environment. Perhaps, we occasionally sense God’s presence when we are faced with a crisis. Then we go on with life allocating God to a tiny space in our daily life. These homeless youth need God’s presence to survive in all aspects.

One thing is for sure, these young men were not romanticizing life in the streets. They have been physically and verbally abused too many times by the police and ill-willed people to sustain such a fantasy. However, they are survivors and they attribute their survival to God’s presence in their lives. Bruno doesn’t usually express his spirituality openly like this. Actually, we hardly talked in this open manner for such a prolonged period like this before the pandemic. Back then there was always a deck of cards in the middle of us where the cat is sleeping now. We would be chatting as we played a game. Now, we have dispensed with games, our conversations have become more profound. They feel comfortable to share their thoughts about their spirituality and doubts and just about life in general. It has been a long journey to get here. We have grown together. Mary and I came here as foreign missionaries and these young people were homeless children and teens. We were two separate units. Now, we are gathered together as one in His Name. This is the Kingdom of God where there is an openness creating an eternal bond in our souls. It started out like a seed the Holy Spirit planted in our heart with a hope that one day these young people will realize their personal beauty and uniqueness. In these young people, God sowed a seed to receive us despite our strange accents and differences in age. Today, all of us sit under the shade of the tree that grew out of this seed. We can be honest and truly appreciate each others journey in discovering the wealth of the God’s love and grace.

Bruno reemphasized that he wasn’t going to stay long at his family’s home. It wasn’t because he did not like them. He is a stranger in his own family. He called his sister to share his dilemma. He wanted to make sure that they knew that he wasn’t rejecting them. She responded graciously and told him that their doors will be always open for him. I reassured Bruno that the regardless of his decision, he has come out of all this richer than before. Now, he has a family that he never had before. He wanted to share something strange that happened to him before he ended his conversation with his sister. He told her, “I love you!” He said that it was genuine statement. He said that he felt good saying these words. He never thought in his wildest dreams that he would have ever say it to his sister in this life time.

And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he replied, ‘No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’” Matthew 13:27-30

This week, Bruno told us his actual age. I don’t think he has actually verbalized this before to anyone. It has always been a secret. Everyone knew that he was older than he claimed. He concealed his age not because of vanity but rather more out of fear. Bruno was afraid to grow old. By no means, he was not one of those infant adults. That’s a middle class phenomenon. Bruno was never privileged. He sleeps in the streets and begs to survive. For him, revealing his age means he has to assume something about himself. Something painful. He wasn’t ready to go there yet.

Bruno did not run away to the streets because he wanted to be homeless. Like the other children and teens, he came here in search of something. This mysterious thing which would give them a better life. Unfortunately, none of them could articulate exactly the nature of this “thing” which they desperately seek. It is different for each one. Truly, this is the tragic dilemma of all our children and teens. Despite this, they still hold on to the hope that one day they will be able to find it. They believe that it is going to give them the courage to embrace life in its fullness. Until then, the streets and drugs are the best option. Occasionally, someone from their ranks discovers it. They feel happy for him because it enforces their hope. They see him grow and flourish. Perhaps some might feel a little envious but not in a bad way. They just wish that they can find out what it is exactly that they are seeking. Interestingly, they don’t despair. They know that if they wait long enough, it will come. Until this happens, they are paralysed spiritually. Many see them in this state and consider all these children and teens to be just weeds of society. They don’t produce anything that perpetuates life. Many would have considered Bruno to be a weed. However, this week, Bruno told us his true age which means he found something. Now, he has the courage to embrace life.

He is 30 years old. For the past 8 years we have known him, he has always been stagnant at the age of 21. Throughout this time, Bruno presented himself as someone was settled in his role in the streets as homeless. Sometimes he would talk to a kind stranger and claim that he was seeking information about his estranged family members. Some people would get excited about this, believing they had found a concrete way to help him. Then when nothing came to fruition, they would just whither away. Their lack of success was mainly because Bruno never gave them the correct information like his age. However, in one of these occasions, the person who heard this story decided to film Bruno and post it on a social media platform with an appeal to locate his family. This was a year ago and nothing came out of it. Neither did Bruno pursue the matter.

Last week Felipe left a message on my phone. He said that some people came by looking for Bruno claiming to be his brothers and sister. We knew that he had a younger sister. He told us that his only memory of his family was that they left him at an orphanage and went home without him. The scene is etched into his soul. He did not remember anything else about his mother nor sister beside this, not even their names. Now, he has two other siblings that he never knew existed. Felipe told me that he wasn’t sure if Bruno would leave the streets with them. To be honest, I had my doubts too. They came back twice to the streets before they found him. We waited anxiously to hear how the reunion went and then I received a phone call from one of the teens. He said, “Bruno is no longer in the streets.”

I am still not sure if Bruno will stay. The change is quite drastic. He has been in the streets for fourteen years and living without a family since he was five. All these changes could be overwhelming for him. It is not impossible that he would stay. We hope he will be able do it. However, regardless of what happens, his life is now radically changed. He spent all his life thinking that he was alone and forgotten in this world. Perhaps, this was what he feared he had to accept as the utter truth in order to become a full adult. He knows that we think highly of him. Not only us, even some of the teens especially Felipe always considered Bruno to be a close and intimate friend. However, there was something deep in Bruno that needed to be healed. The very fact that his brothers and sister came looking for him and opened their home to him brought the much needed reconciliation. When we spoke to him, he sounded at peace with everything. All was forgiven and now he is freed from the burden carried in his soul for years. Maybe he won’t stay long with his family or maybe he will. This is not important. It is good to know that Bruno now has overcome the obstacle that was stifling his personal growth. He needed to know that he was abandoned in the orphanage not because something that was inherently wrong with him. It was just an unfortunate state of the world.

Our conversation was frequently disrupted because of a bad connection. However, before we hung up, Bruno wanted to say something to us. He wanted us to know he appreciated the fact that we called him and still desired to be in contact with him. He said that many people come and go in his life. Most of them just see him as a homeless young man and take pity on him. The fact that we called meant that we considered him as a friend and desired to have contact with him regardless of his situation. I was quite amazed how much a simple phone call could convey to him. Honestly, we called because we were happy that Bruno found his family and we wanted him to know that we are rooting for him. He called back a few days later and asked us to visit him when this pandemic is under control.

I never realized this, but the children and teens are unsure which of the people who claim to help them are weeds or wheat. Some churches go to the streets and feed the children regularly. However, not without taking tons of pictures to put on their website. In the end, they just meet an immediate need in the children without helping them sense that they are more than just mere homeless youth. Some groups are in the streets because it is their job. Some are there because they think that it is their religious obligation. However, they never see the children and teens as anything but homeless children. We like to imagine ourselves as being different but you know our minds can play tricks on us. After all, no weed thinks of itself as a weed. We might be a weed without knowing it. The ones who know which ones of us are weeds or wheat are the ones whom we serve. Bruno blessed us by saying that at least to him, we are wheat. As for us, he has always been wheat in our lives for many years.

“Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13: 18-23

I thought everyone knew this parable but I was wrong. I assumed too much. I thought that Felipe, Daniel, and Bruno have had similar experiences as I have had as a child. You know, being woken up early on Sunday, made to wear nice but strangely uncomfortable clothes and listening to the stories of the gospels told in a fashion that children could comprehend and coloring their illustrations on paper. It is easy to forget that they never really had homes, special clothes, or even concerned parents. Consequently, they never participated all these various aspects of our culture that we might take for granted. Their exposure to religion consisted of bits and pieces from the street preaching more concerned about hell than anything else.

We read the parable of the sower together with Felipe once. I started out saying that usually most of us are concerned with being the good soil. Then, Felipe surprised us. He told us that he has never heard of this parable before. He did not understand its meaning let alone the final bit about the good soil. Even the notion of a “parable” was a mystery to him. I guess discerning the different literary genres and sub-genres is not the top of the priority list of the homeless youth. Now, he is in a different place. He is feeling secure about himself. He is ready to embark on a journey of discovering all the good things the world has to offer. He wanted to know what exactly is a parable. To my surprise, I found myself fumbling around trying to find the precise words to explain its meaning. It wasn’t as easy as I thought.

I told him that it is a simple story using everyday things to explain a truth or a moral value. Then I realized why Felipe was confused with the parable of the sower. He spent all his life in the concrete jungle. His contact with nature is very limited. He has never had a father or uncle or grandfather that was into gardening like most of us. In fact, I am the first person he knows who cultivates plants. The concepts of good and bad soil does not resonate with him. As far as he is concern, they are all the same. Basically, all the imagery used in the parable was meaningless to him. Nevertheless, he was keen on knowing its meaning. I thought that it was my role to explain it to him. Unfortunately, my attempt bordered on being pathetic. I resorted to the traditional interpretation. As soon as I gave the answer, I realized that it was a mere automated response void of any reflection. The problem is that I assumed too much. The parable was indeed more difficult and complex than I initially thought. Felipe was kind enough to pretend that he understood my explanation. However, I have known him long enough to discern the signs of comprehension in his expressions.

Upon a closer reflection, I realized that there was many things that are unclear in this parable. The seed, for example, Jesus explains is the word of the Kingdom. Over the years, this has been reduced to doctrines and official teachings of the Church. However, none of these things were in existence when Jesus taught. Besides, the seed was suppose to be dynamic and produce a creative reaction in the soil. Over the years, I have seen that it is possible to accept dynamic doctrines without generating any life-giving fruits. This, of course, brings up a second problem. Jesus mentions the good soil bearing much fruits. Anyone concerned about this parable always desires to be this kind of soil. Unfortunately, many churches have defined fruits according to their doctrines too. For many years, I was convinced that it meant bringing souls into the Kingdom. However, we don’t bring anyone into the Kingdom of God. It is never an ability bestowed upon us. Only the Holy Spirit is able to illume souls with the divine knowledge of God’s love. Our words and arguments are powerless without the Holy Spirit. If anything, they can be a distraction. I have also been taught that bearing fruits means producing without any clear idea what production means. I suppose that it means religious works or charitable works. The Pharisees were good at doing such things and yet Jesus said that they were barren, actually he even mentions something much worse such as being a “child of hell.” Being productive religiously may not necessarily mean that we are being fruitful.

Every weekend, we meet with Felipe in a square near where we both live. We read the Bible together and talk about what it means and have a short prayer time. In other words, it is our church service. It is a little different than what we are used to but it is a gathering of two or three in His Name. I have to say that it is one of my best congregations. After writing this, we will meet with Felipe. It is going to be my second chance to share this parable in a way that it connects with him. For him, the thing that he understands the best is relationship. It was the only wealth he possessed in the streets. It helped him overcome many hardships and feeling of abandonment. He perceives the world through his relationships. They are his teachers, his church and his everything. In reality, this is true for all of us too but sometimes we allow other things to confuse us. Felipe possesses nothing but relationships in this world. If he is going to understand anything truth, it has to be presented in the context of a relationship.

The seed is none other than our Lord offering Himself to us. God does not impose Himself on anyone but He offers Himself in doses that we are able to handle. Some people are given the opportunity to meet Him. Maybe He comes to them through a person that displeases them. They reject Him without giving a second thought. There are others who receive Him and then don’t bother to go further with the relationship. They enjoy the idea of meeting Jesus in whatever form He represents Himself. However, they never go beyond the superficial to truly enjoy the wealth that is found in Him. Then there are others who receive Him but they think that they can serve both God and Mammon. Eventually, the latter takes priority over the former. Finally, there are the ones who receive Him readily without any conditions. They don’t expect Him to act in their favor always. They just accept Him as He presents Himself. They are always open to see Him present in anyway or anyone whom He chooses to manifest Himself. With time, they are able to discern His presence in the lives of the other as they make themselves available to others. Their lives become richer and they make the lives of others around richer too. They may never produce as the world thinks a productive person should be. Nevertheless, everyone who meets them cannot help but feel that something new has been created in their souls.

I think Felipe will understand this because each Sunday when we meet with and pray with him. We go home feeling something new has been created in our innermost being. I recently wrote to a friend mentioning this very interesting detail. We came here initially to minister to these homeless children and teens but, in the end, we are the ones who go home each day richer than ever. Albeit, I can’t say that this is true for all of them. I don’t want to paint a romanticized picture of reality here. There are all kinds of soil among the homeless but when you meet with good soil like Felipe or Bruno or Daniel or Aline, you cannot leave without feeling enriched.

It is almost time for church now. Our congregation of one is waiting for us at our usual place. I can’t wait to read this parable with Felipe.

Bruno has matured as a beggar. It is not that he has become better asking for money. He never had any problems in that department. After all, he is a highly intelligent young man. Among all the teens, he is the best at begging. He always receives more than he needs and shares it around. He also receives tons of clothes which he never refuses but he never seems to use. He used to keep some of them in our house and then eventually forgot them altogether. Now, he gives them away to families living in the streets. He has developed an excellent technique for begging.

He loves movies but not just any movies; only the ones that have been nominated for the Oscars. He cites the winners since the fifties by memory. He likes to tell people that his favorite movie is “Sophie’s Choice”. This usually takes them by surprise. They never expect a homeless youth to like a movie of this calibre. His general knowledge on literature is not too bad. He likes to say that Mark Twain is his favorite even though he has never read anything by him. It never fails to impress people. He is not exactly lying. He really is interested in these things but not enough to pursue them more profoundly. He is happy to just to talk about it enough for people to see beyond his old and worn out clothes covered with food stains and unkept hair. He looks like he hasn’t seen the inside of shower for weeks. However, the other teens tell us that he washes his clothes regularly and takes daily showers. It is true. He does not emit any unpleasant odor. His look is deliberate. He knows that people are enchanted with a certain idea of a beggar. Therefore he plays the role they desire to see. It is his only way to become more visible. However, Bruno did not always dress or act this way.

Bruno used to dress up like a college student so we were told. He wore a polo shirt and long pants and carried a folder with his note book. He made every effort to look studious. Unfortunately, despite all his efforts, his appearance never gave him any visibility. No one took notice of him outside of our children. Besides, a well dressed black Brazilian living in the streets also draws the attention of the police. They always assume that the well-dressed ones are involved in crime. It seemed there was nothing Bruno could do to be visible.

He was put in an orphanage when he was six. His mother was too poor and had to make painful choice. She chose his sister over him. It is a choice that Bruno never forgot. It is story not unlike the movie, “Sophie’s Choice”. It killed something in Bruno. No doubt, he liked the orphanage. He really took advantage of the education he received there. Unfortunately, he knew that he would have to leave when he turned 18. By then, he had enough of rejections in his life. This time he decided to leave before he faced another. This is how he ended up in the streets.

He always tried to fit in. His mind was always actively learning about things to perhaps help him gain some recognition. Unfortunately, no one was interested in a homeless black teen who looked like a college student. He found out that the best way for him to survive in the streets was to become a beggar. He set his mind to this task. He observed other beggars and discovered that those who had pets drew more attention and subsequently more money. He adopted a dog and cat. He would sit outside a restaurant and supermarket with a book in his hand. This was enough to draw anyone’s attention. Suddenly, Bruno was visible in this world. He found out that in this tragic world, being a beggar is the best role afforded to him.

Bruno used to be extremely manipulative. Initially, people were more interested in the animals than in him. It seems this society is accustomed to young black youths living in the streets but not animals. They asked questions about the animals that looked extremely healthy and happy. The dog, incidentally, was rescued by the teens. It almost drowned in the canal when the teens risked their lives to save it. Felipe and Bruno took care of it for a long time. Bruno also rescued the kitten abandoned near a busy highway.

People were more concerned about the welfare of the animals than Bruno’s. Of course, being an intelligent person, he exploited the situation. He always managed to scrounge some money off almost everyone who stopped to pat the animals. Sometimes, it was quite embarrassing for us to see how he shamelessly took advantage of people. To a certain extent, it put a strain on our relationship for a short period. This was a few years ago. Like I said before, Bruno has matured as a beggar.

The years of being invisible has made Bruno sensible to people who are invisible like him. However, they may not be living in the streets. They live in apartments but they are no longer deemed important by society. These are the elderly people who once were mothers, grandmothers and even business owners. Now, they are discarded because of their age and illness or their incapability to do things that they once did very well. Once again, the animals are the point of contact between Bruno and these people.

When I visited Bruno in the streets last week, there was an elderly woman talking with him. He immediately wanted to introduce me to this woman. She was a little shy and hardly spoke to me. Bruno later told me that she comes to him and talks to him quite frequently. She is quite elderly, maybe in her late eighties and lives on a limited income. No one cares for her, Bruno said. He receives nothing from her except her undivided attention and he returns the favor. He looks forward to her visit everyday even if it is for only few minutes. Another elderly woman came by with cooked food for the dog and another plate of food for Bruno. She is another new friend that he just recently made. She lives alone too. She saw Bruno begging from her apartment window and went down to talk with him. She could not afford to give anything except what she makes for lunch. She always comes to have a chat with Bruno. Another woman came by and talked to him when I was there. She asked about the animals and before she left, Bruno stopped her and told her that he was grateful for her attention. The woman was obviously touched. This time Bruno wasn’t trying to be manipulative. He genuinely was thankful for her presence without expecting any monetary benefits.

There is something more sincere about Bruno now. He is making himself available to people who are just like him; the invisible ones. It is not a one way relationship. They are mutually blessed. Bruno is a beggar but he has become richer in ways very few people will realize. Perhaps only to those who are able to see beyond the young man begging there. He has definitely changed. I hope that one day he can find something better. It is a pity that such an intelligent young man like Bruno should resign himself to this role. He confessed that he hopes the same. This is not the lifestyle for anyone. In spite of this, he has discovered how to be available to people for whom no one has time to appreciate. Bruno went into begging to earn money but he ended up learning something valuable that most so-called well to do people never learn. I thank God for Bruno and not only him but the other children and teens like Felipe and Daniel for their availability. They open themselves up to receive others and in the end, they receive God’s abundant grace in their lives. It helps me understand the profound words of Jesus when He said,

“I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”-Matthew 11:25-26