While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly. “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” Mark 14:3-6

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a complete stranger to stop us and share an unsolicited opinion with us. Most of the time, it is preceded with the phrase, “You are wasting your time, not to mention money! Our hard earned-money!” They always assume that their tax money is paying us to be with the children. To make matters worse, it doesn’t end there. It is followed by a long and tedious diatribe on how to solve the problem of homelessness. The best thing to do is ignore these people which is what we do most of the time. Besides, I am always at a loss on how to respond. A quick look around the place, you can see bars full of men in business suits drinking away with their eyes on a soccer game on a big screen TV. There are young men spending hours skate boarding even though it’s obvious that none of them will ever be professionals in this lifetime. There are people gathered around a street magician performing mediocre magic tricks. Not far from them, a bunch of taxi drivers sitting around doing absolutely nothing but at the same time complaining how society is made up of lazy people. One thing we have common is that all of us waste our time one or another. Somehow, it irked our random passerby that we were doing it with the homeless youth. Yet still, I don’t know how to respond because he is right. We do waste precious time with these youth.

We cannot honestly say that the things we do will eventually help our teens out of homelessness. We spend hours talking about movies with Bruno. He might gain knowledge about all the great movie classics but it is not going to guarantee him a shelter nor a job in the future. Felipe talks about the planets and the distant stars that he discovering through his personal research. Despite his growing knowledge of astronomy, he still is a squatter in an abandoned storage space with his family of five. His growing knowledge is not going to change this. We play games with Daniel and Guilherme who have few interests. They have never been to school for more than a year in their lives.

On another occasion, a nicer and kinder person asked me why I don’t do anything concrete like open a shelter or set up a feeding program. It sounded reasonable. It made me feel a little embarrassed to say that we don’t do these things. On the hand, we rather like doing what we do. We find it to be very productive, much more than if we were to ran shelter or set up a soup kitchen. Perhaps a pragmatic person will fail to understand. They might stand with the disciples and say we are wasting precious resources that could be used to help others in need. Thankfully, Jesus seemed to understand. He defended another wasteful person. He even said that she was doing something beautiful.

Many would have seen the whole triumphant entrance into Jerusalem as a complete waste of time. Apparently, the religious authorities of His time were of this opinion. All the ruckus was for nothing. Jesus did not overthrow the oppressing rulers. He did not change the corrupt religious system in place. Even the same people who cheered Jesus on would later betray Him. It would seem like a wasted event for the people and leaders of Jesus’ time. However, its significance still remains alive till today in hearts and minds of millions through the liturgy. This seemingly meaningless event opened up a door for us to participate in welcoming the humble King who enters our hearts and soul triumphantly. Its significance has transcended time and space.

Palm Sunday leads us to the Passion. Another example where the life of God incarnate is wasted on the Cross. He could have changed the whole scenario if He wanted. There were people ready to do battle for Him. He just had to say the word. Instead He wasted all these opportunities by being silent. Instead, He wasted Himself on the Cross. This does seem like foolishness if we were solely pragmatic in our spirituality. Perhaps, these people may have a hard time with the way God does things in this world. They want a God who is useful to them. However, Jesus revealed a different God to them. As John puts it plainly, Jesus showed us that God is Love. Love is wasteful. It is extravagant. We cannot love if we are not willing to waste our time and energy, no matter how precious they appear to us.

Not all wasteful actions are founded on love. Not all have the same weight. One thing is for sure we are constantly wasting things, time and energy. The woman could have used the perfume for herself and no one would have accused her of wasting anything. They would say that it is her money and she has the right do it. However, her love prompted her to anoint Jesus’ head with it. It is strange that the disciples never criticized her for her actions. It appears to be an extremely sensual act. They were not bothered by it. They were more bothered about the loss of money. Just like the random passerby who complained that we were wasting our time. He thought that the tax payers money was being wasted on useless activities with these homeless children. He was consumed by his pragmatic convictions and he failed to enquire who we were nor the names of the children. There was an absence of love in his concern. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t genuine. The disciples were disturbed by the waste of money but they failed to sense the anxiety in their master. Incidentally, He reminded them countless times that He was going to die a horrible death. The woman felt the urge to defend her actions. She was almost oblivious to the negative opinions generating around her. Love does this. Perhaps, most of us don’t realize how much time and energy we waste with the ones we love because our hearts are consumed with Love. We cannot love without wasting. We don’t even consider it waste anymore because it expresses how important our Beloved is to us.

During this Pandemic, one of the things we greatly miss is wasting time with our children and teens. Even when I met Daniel recently, he told me that he wants things to go back to when we could all be sitting together and play a game of Uno. I could give them a pack of Uno game easily. However, this wasn’t what he was saying. I did give a game before. They never played it. He wants us to be with him. He understands that the time we spend with him, perhaps doing the most useless thing, is our way of saying that he is important and special to us. He missed that and we missed it. However, we are still given the chance to waste despite these strange times. We want to make sure that we do it without restraint. We want to be as wasteful as we want to be with our youth because we just don’t know what the future holds for us. Perhaps it might be our last chance to be wasteful with them.

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.” John 12:20-23

Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. John 12:27

There was a time when I would not have paid made much attention to these words. However, times have changed and now they caught my attention almost immediately. Just like that, they became extremely relevant to us. They present us with questions and demand that they should think carefully of the answers.

It was the Greek-speaking Jews who started this conversation. Jesus’ fame had reached their foreign shores. They were eager to meet Him. Apparently, His message was welcomed in their lands. Most of us would have thought this was good news. Jesus was getting the necessary publicity. However, Jesus responded in a most bizarre manner. I used to think that some passages made Jesus seemed a little aloof. He did not even address the presence of these men. Instead, He spoke about His imminent death. For some strange reason, it has become clearer to me now. Jesus was not avoiding the issue. He was directly confronting it. This new opportunity was a temptation. It meant that Jesus did not need to be restricted to Jerusalem. There were places with safer options available to Him. He responded clearly that He was going to stay on course even though it brought much anguish to His soul.

This time last year I read a book, “The Plague” by Albert Camus. I have read it before. I knew that it was about a city in quarantine. I thought perhaps it would give some insights as we began our own quarantine. Camus, an atheist, was deeply intrigued by the ambiguity of our human nature especially of its spiritual nature. All the characters were atheists except for a much loved Roman Catholic priest. They were forced to deal with tough questions about their own mortality in a time of utter chaos and abandonment. One character in particular, Raymond Rambert, a journalist, who by misfortune, found himself to be trapped in the city days before it was sealed off from the outside world. He had a girlfriend waiting on the outside and decided that he would risk fleeing the city in order to be with her. Everyone including the town’s doctor encouraged him to do it. They thought that love was worth the risk. He bribed the necessary authorities to accomplish his plan. After several unsuccessful attempts, the day finally came when all the necessary factors were in place. It was a perfect day for his flight. At the final moment, he desisted from the whole endeavor. He couldn’t do it. He realized that he was part of the plague ridden town. He could not leave the people behind. He concluded that it was impossible for to find private happiness while others were still suffering.

It was definitely one of the most spiritual books I have read recently. Maybe it even helped me comprehend the words of Jesus in the gospel text above. We tend to interpret these words in the light of our doctrines. We often talk about his sacrificial death for the atonement of our sins. As powerful as these concepts are, they strip Jesus of his humanity. His actions were not to fulfill a doctrinal requirement. They were acts of love directed specifically to a group of people whom He loved dearly. Jesus loved the people whom He healed and taught. They had become a pivotal part of His life. He was not going to abandon them because His fame was able to carry Him to a different and safer venue. He was their Messiah, no matter what it entailed. The people had come to trust Him. Maybe there wasn’t many. We know for sure that the twelve apostles including the one who betrayed Him were precious to Him. There were the women who faithfully kept Him accompanied and supported Him with their means. These people became the fabric of His earthly existence. They had become one with Him. He could not leave them now when things had taken a darker turn. The option was there for Him and with it, a price tag. Jesus refused it. He took the risk and gained something much more valuable and precious.

This is our third venture into Brazil. My first time, I was young enough to imagine that I could change the world. There was a little bit of a messianic complex. It didn’t take long for reality to grab hold of me. I realized things were too complex and ambiguous for any easy solutions that my mind conjured up. I discarded my illusions of grandeur and focused on the homeless youth instead. I realized that despite our limitations, we loved our time with the children. Unfortunately, our failure to meet the necessary visa requirements forced us to leave. Five years later, we returned to Brazil for the second time. I was ordained and had a parish. I thought that I could create a bridge between the church and the homeless community. Perhaps I was a little idealistic and the bridge was never built. I served out my time as a parish priest and then we decided to pack it up and call it quits. We left on our own accord this time. Then about five years later, we were back. Many things have changed. I have been ordained for a while. I have worked in different parishes. I was much older and wise enough to know my limitations and capabilities. There were no projects or visions of grandeur, just an open heart and mind. We just wanted to serve the homeless youth. We realized that we sensed the presence of Christ clearly when we served among these abandoned youth. We felt strongly that God could use us in their lives if only we allowed Him to show us what He was doing in their midst. We spent our years here listening, watching, and, of course, praying. We saw God in their lives. Our lives were so enriched by this encounter that we were able to share this wealth with people thousands of miles away from here. We allowed the youth to show us how to be part of their lives. They opened their hearts to us. They became part of us and we became part of their lives. We did not need to become their messiah nor an innovative church-planters. We just needed to be ourselves and enjoy God’s presence in the midst of these abandoned young people.

Then came the Pandemic. We were thrust into the unknown. It has been a year. The rest of the world is on the road to recovery. Unfortunately, we are slipping into utter chaos here. For the first time in a long time, we cannot imagine what the future is going to be like. We see signs that are not very encouraging. Therefore, we decided to stop thinking about it. We have the present with us which comes with an option to leave. I am sure that a simple phone call could get us out of here. We would be safe. I am not sure if we would be happy. We belong here. This is where God has prepared a place for us. Many may not understand this. Some might say that safety is the main issue. Well, we tried to establish ourselves here on three different occasions and finally we found our place. Despite the dire state of affairs, there is something valuable here beyond our private happiness. It is too precious for us to abandon. It is like finding the treasure that I have been seeking all my life. Now, we just can’t leave.

Bruno shared a very simple and common childhood experience he had this week. Once when he was ten years old, he wanted to become the president. I am sure many people harbored this fantasy during their childhood. I remember telling my parents about it; they burst out laughing. I wasn’t crushed but I developed a sense of humor. I listened to Bruno’s story and how he discovered that this was an impossible dream. To be honest, I did not pay too much attention to it. It is a common childhood fantasy. However, before I left, he pulled me aside and said, “I hope that you believed my story. It is the truth.” I told him that I had no reason to doubt him. I realized that it was important for him that I believed him. I realized that Bruno never had the chance of sharing this childhood fantasy with his family or father. He never met his father and he grew up in a crowded orphanage. He was sharing a simple story but he wanted me to know that once he had dreams and hopes just like any other child. He has given me something special. He feels comfortable enough to share his childhood dreams with us.

This is why God has brought us here. This is our place.

And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. John 3:14

Thirty people died while waiting to be attended in the hospital on Thursday. On Friday, Covid claimed one life every 4 minutes in this city. Just a few days prior to this, on my way home from the streets, I walked by an area where there were bars and saw hundreds of young people drinking and partying. No one seems to be concerned. We have been having the highest number of deaths these past few weeks. The hospitals are almost fully occupied. We hear daily news of young people dying from the new variant of this dreadful virus. None of these things have hindered people from flirting with death. This is because Life has very little value here.

This is not just my observation. A local doctor known for his work among the prison population shared this in a recent interview. He was essential figure in changing the fate of many during the Aids pandemic in the eighties. He lamented that nothing has changed over the years. Lack of empathy was present then and is still prevalent now. Perhaps, this year all things hidden are accentuated. We are in the worst possible times but no one seems to care. They did not care when they saw children and families sleeping in the streets. They did not care when a homeless man recently walked into a restaurant to ask for help. Everyone ignored him as he laid there in pain and slowly died. Not a single soul called for help. Now, this attitude of indifference is coming around and hardening the hearts of people in regards to their own lives and welfare. An ethical life is not living one’s life for the benefit of others. It is about recognizing and valuing the importance of Life.

Today the streets are almost empty. The local government threatened to impose a fine if the businesses did not cut down their operating hours. I found the children and teens in the same spot, near the Asian grocery stores. Daniel was sitting with William. His first question was about the pandemic. He asked if a lot of people were dying? Our youth are cut off from the world. No one tells them anything. They just sense things intuitively.

I commented that it is amazing that none of the homeless have been infected. I asked them if they knew someone in the streets with the virus. They thought about it hard before responding. Apparently, no one in their immediate group had the virus. It is strange and good at the same. I don’t want to make precipitate judgments and say that it’s a miracle. Besides, many people have died. Many good and kind people lost their lives. Their families would be wondering why God did not act in their situation. We can be grateful that nothing has happened to our children and teens. However, it is not over yet. We still have a long road ahead. For now, we are still intact. I remember Felipe once shared that he believed that every time we escape a close brush with death, it is a reminder for us that we should not waste opportunities and seek to to do the truth always. Felipe is a simple young man. When he understands an aspect of the Truth, he applies it immediately where as most just stop at the knowledge of it.

But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. John 3:21

There were less people in the streets but I met more of our youth whom I haven’t seen for months. Unfortunately, there is a baby in the streets too. In the past year one of the older girls gave birth to a child. We are thankful that Felipe and his wife have a place to stay even though it is quite precarious. They have an infant child just a few days old. The streets is not a place for anyone much less a baby. This baby is not so fortunate. He doesn’t sleep in the streets but he is homeless. His mother spends her day in the streets and she finds some shelter in the evenings. Nothing permanent. Her baby was all smiles because he was surrounded by the youth who are constantly showering him with attention. I was disturbed and I want to be disturbed. I don’t want to get used to this scene. At the same time, I cannot let this distract me. This is their reality. They are not being irresponsible. They have lost everything. There is no gospel in trying to find someone to blame. It’s an exercise in futility. Nothing is going to change. I have to find hope in this seemingly hopeless situation. Some days it feels hard to find it. Thankfully, today wasn’t one of those days.

Actually, Hope found me. It came into my living room in the night before as I was reading into the early hours. I heard it strange buzzing sound of an insect. Initially, I thought it was a cockroach. Like most human beings, I find them repulsive and a little bit afraid of them. I grabbed something to squash the revolting thing. Then I realized that it was Hope. She landed close to my desk. Maybe it was a “he”. It doesn’t matter. She is a beautiful and charming little insect probably in the same species as a grasshopper. The locals understandably find this creature to be endearing. It is a nocturnal insect and not very commonly sighted. Brazilians have nicknamed it “hope”, or rather, “Esperança”. They believe that when they visit you, they bring hope to the household. I have never been superstitious and I am not going to start now. However, I do appreciate symbols. Seeing this gentle insect and saying its name out loud to myself brought a strange sense of peace to my heart. Hope comes when we least expect it. It is not something we can create within ourselves. It is not an illusion nor a defense mechanism. It is as real as this tiny creature and brings a sense of delight to our souls. It cannot be control or domesticated. It choose to come as it please and when it does, it comes to remind us. I can’t really say of what exactly. I am not convinced things are going to get better. This would be wishful thinking, almost a cliché. Besides, Hope is much morenthan this. It makes us look deep into a hopeless situation and discover something. I am not sure what. I just cannot quite find the words for it. In the meantime, my little “Esperança” was quite comfortable in my apartment. I have ample supply of plants here. However, her place is out in the world. She was looking for a way out. She has many homes to visit tonight. I gently picked her up and she rested in the palm of my hands and I brought her to the window. She flew and then came back briefly to rest on my head. Just for a second or two, then she left to visit some other soul. I am sure that her presence might bring joy to many even though everyone knows that she is just an insect. It is not what she is but what she represents. She is Hope. She needs to be out there in the world. She doesn’t belong to me. She belongs to everyone.

Jesus said that the Son of Man must lifted high so that everyone can see and believe that eternal life is given to them. Many have reduced this to life after death. Our children and teens who live so close to death on daily basis don’t think about eternal life in the same manner. Perhaps they don’t think about it at all. For them, they learn everything intuitively. Daniel was keen to change the subject. He had enough talk about death. H wanted to share something he saw recently. He said that there was an artist who used trash to make a sculpture. He was really impressed with it. He liked it that things which people throw away are used to make such beautiful art. He asked me to look for it on the internet. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it. It doesn’t matter. I saw its magic in the eyes of Daniel. Our youth always find something to remind them of the beauty of life. Nothing is considered trash. Society might think that they are worthless. Yet, an artist can see beauty when others see nothing but problems.

Perhaps this is what hope is all about. Recognizing beauty in the midst of death and destruction. Seeing hope in the presence of an insignificant creature. Seeing eternal life in a man hanging on a cruel instrument of death.

He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” The Jews then said to him, “What sign can you show us for doing this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” The Jews then said, “This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. John 2:16-21

We hadn’t seen Daniel for almost a year. I asked him to stand up. I heard rumors that he had grown taller. He smiled and immediately stood next to me. He was almost my height. He will be 18 this year, legally an adult. Hard to imagine. We always picture him as a petite scrawny kid who was always open for an adventure. Among all the teens, he was one of the few who went out on excursions with us. Consequently, we have taken many pictures together which coincidentally we were just looking at recently. He looks older now but his face still radiates with childlike innocence. It was obvious that he missed us as much as we missed him. Mary commented about his pictures. To our surprise, he remembered every occasion when the pictures were taken.

I asked him what he thought about the pandemic. He misunderstood my question. You know, words often get lost in the fabric of our masks. Daniel thought that the question was about life in general. He had an answer ready. “I want to meet people and have experiences and then share them with others just like you, and maybe even write about it.” I am not sure if he knew that I write about them. Maybe he did.

He mistook my question but perhaps he gave me a better answer that I expected. It’s possible that he did hear my question. The Pandemic has made many think about their lives. Daniel wants to do something which he believes will make his life meaningful. He remarked that he often goes off by himself to pray and think about life. Actually, most of the teens have been asking serious questions about their lives. It has resulted in some significant changes. Bruno told me the other day that he was done with lying about his life. Well, he does not really lie but his stories were often mingled with fantasy. I understand what he means. He is no longer afraid to face the reality of his past. This was just a preface; he wanted to share his first experience eating out. It was in a fast-food restaurant. For most of us, this is quite a common boring experience. Young Bruno thought that only wealthy people ate at these places. A kind lady whose house Bruno’s mother cleaned weekly decided to treat him on his birthday. She brought him to the restaurant and asked him to pick anything. He froze. He told me that he couldn’t do it. He felt that everyone knew that he had no business being there. He was only ten then. Finally, the woman ordered a huge hamburger with fries and a sundae. She sat with him while he ate. It was an experience that he will never forget. This story did not go anywhere. It wasn’t that kind of story. It was something that he wanted us to know. He thought that we would understand. I think I do. If not, one day it will be become clearer to me. As for now, I have treat it delicately because it is a precious gift he has given to me.

All these conversations took place in a busy business area. The children and teens have migrated to a new area. It is known as “Liberdade” which means “freedom”. It used to be where the Japanese community lived. Today most of the Nippon-Brazilians have moved into the other neighborhoods. However, the business and the grocery stores have remained here. They have many street food vendors. It is one of the most busy areas despite the Pandemic. Thankfully, most people do use masks but no one really respects social distancing. Here the major thrust is commerce. Everyone is either busy spending money or making it. In the midst of this, our homeless youth have found a temporary home. They represent the other extreme. Some people walk by and despise their presence. They don’t hesitate to show their disdain. Others find solace in their presence. The children and teens are like a temple in the middle of the market place. They have invaded a place and live a lifestyle completely contrary to its values. They are disrupting something in this place just the way Jesus disrupted the market in the temple.

Bruno sits outside a bank and…I can’t really say that he begs. He just sits there. He doesn’t say anything. People give him some change because it is obvious that he is homeless. Daniel and Wanderson run errands for the food vendors. I saw Wanderson helping to unload food from a delivery truck. They get some food and cash for their errands. The food vendors have taken a liking to them. Bruno does something different. He likes talking to people. Sometimes during their break, the employees of the stores chat with him. Bruno is not from their world of commerce and office politics. Consequently, their conversation is different from that with their colleagues. Perhaps different enough for them to keep coming back to him. There are some significant changes in Bruno too. When we first met him about seven years ago, he was constantly drugged out. He always sniffed a bottle of paint thinner while he sat and begged. Nowadays, he sits and reads and whenever someone approaches him, he gives them his full attention without asking for any money.

There is a young man who works in one of the biggest stores in the area. Everyday he sits next to Bruno on the ground and chats about everything and nothing. It was later revealed that he is the son of the owner and next in line to inherit the business. In the eyes of the world, this is a bizarre friendship. In reality, it is a very normal thing between two young men of the same age. Bruno does not expect anything from this man. This man has found something different and unique in his relationship with Bruno.

There are others too. Bruno is constantly introducing us to them. I can’t remember who is who. However, it is very uplifting to see Bruno overcome the obstacles of being considered just a homeless person. He is just Bruno to these people and he happens to be homeless. Perhaps this is what Daniel meant when he said that he wants to meet different people and become friends with them. In a strange way, these youth are providing something for people who are exhausted by the demands of the commercial world. They see someone in a situation that is the stuff of their worst nightmares and yet, they discover something beautiful and meaningful in them. They are a reminder to these people entrenched in the market that there is life beyond this world of buying and selling.

The temple provided a place where people could be free from the pressures of the world to ask themselves the deep questions of life. Unfortunately, in Jesus’ time, the temple succumbed to the market. Today is not any different. However, the good news is that the temple is no longer a place nor a building. It is a person. He is present and manifests Himself in the people whom we least expect. For now, God is using these homeless youth to be a temple in the market place known as “Freedom.”