Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.” John 12:20-23

Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. John 12:27

There was a time when I would not have paid made much attention to these words. However, times have changed and now they caught my attention almost immediately. Just like that, they became extremely relevant to us. They present us with questions and demand that they should think carefully of the answers.

It was the Greek-speaking Jews who started this conversation. Jesus’ fame had reached their foreign shores. They were eager to meet Him. Apparently, His message was welcomed in their lands. Most of us would have thought this was good news. Jesus was getting the necessary publicity. However, Jesus responded in a most bizarre manner. I used to think that some passages made Jesus seemed a little aloof. He did not even address the presence of these men. Instead, He spoke about His imminent death. For some strange reason, it has become clearer to me now. Jesus was not avoiding the issue. He was directly confronting it. This new opportunity was a temptation. It meant that Jesus did not need to be restricted to Jerusalem. There were places with safer options available to Him. He responded clearly that He was going to stay on course even though it brought much anguish to His soul.

This time last year I read a book, “The Plague” by Albert Camus. I have read it before. I knew that it was about a city in quarantine. I thought perhaps it would give some insights as we began our own quarantine. Camus, an atheist, was deeply intrigued by the ambiguity of our human nature especially of its spiritual nature. All the characters were atheists except for a much loved Roman Catholic priest. They were forced to deal with tough questions about their own mortality in a time of utter chaos and abandonment. One character in particular, Raymond Rambert, a journalist, who by misfortune, found himself to be trapped in the city days before it was sealed off from the outside world. He had a girlfriend waiting on the outside and decided that he would risk fleeing the city in order to be with her. Everyone including the town’s doctor encouraged him to do it. They thought that love was worth the risk. He bribed the necessary authorities to accomplish his plan. After several unsuccessful attempts, the day finally came when all the necessary factors were in place. It was a perfect day for his flight. At the final moment, he desisted from the whole endeavor. He couldn’t do it. He realized that he was part of the plague ridden town. He could not leave the people behind. He concluded that it was impossible for to find private happiness while others were still suffering.

It was definitely one of the most spiritual books I have read recently. Maybe it even helped me comprehend the words of Jesus in the gospel text above. We tend to interpret these words in the light of our doctrines. We often talk about his sacrificial death for the atonement of our sins. As powerful as these concepts are, they strip Jesus of his humanity. His actions were not to fulfill a doctrinal requirement. They were acts of love directed specifically to a group of people whom He loved dearly. Jesus loved the people whom He healed and taught. They had become a pivotal part of His life. He was not going to abandon them because His fame was able to carry Him to a different and safer venue. He was their Messiah, no matter what it entailed. The people had come to trust Him. Maybe there wasn’t many. We know for sure that the twelve apostles including the one who betrayed Him were precious to Him. There were the women who faithfully kept Him accompanied and supported Him with their means. These people became the fabric of His earthly existence. They had become one with Him. He could not leave them now when things had taken a darker turn. The option was there for Him and with it, a price tag. Jesus refused it. He took the risk and gained something much more valuable and precious.

This is our third venture into Brazil. My first time, I was young enough to imagine that I could change the world. There was a little bit of a messianic complex. It didn’t take long for reality to grab hold of me. I realized things were too complex and ambiguous for any easy solutions that my mind conjured up. I discarded my illusions of grandeur and focused on the homeless youth instead. I realized that despite our limitations, we loved our time with the children. Unfortunately, our failure to meet the necessary visa requirements forced us to leave. Five years later, we returned to Brazil for the second time. I was ordained and had a parish. I thought that I could create a bridge between the church and the homeless community. Perhaps I was a little idealistic and the bridge was never built. I served out my time as a parish priest and then we decided to pack it up and call it quits. We left on our own accord this time. Then about five years later, we were back. Many things have changed. I have been ordained for a while. I have worked in different parishes. I was much older and wise enough to know my limitations and capabilities. There were no projects or visions of grandeur, just an open heart and mind. We just wanted to serve the homeless youth. We realized that we sensed the presence of Christ clearly when we served among these abandoned youth. We felt strongly that God could use us in their lives if only we allowed Him to show us what He was doing in their midst. We spent our years here listening, watching, and, of course, praying. We saw God in their lives. Our lives were so enriched by this encounter that we were able to share this wealth with people thousands of miles away from here. We allowed the youth to show us how to be part of their lives. They opened their hearts to us. They became part of us and we became part of their lives. We did not need to become their messiah nor an innovative church-planters. We just needed to be ourselves and enjoy God’s presence in the midst of these abandoned young people.

Then came the Pandemic. We were thrust into the unknown. It has been a year. The rest of the world is on the road to recovery. Unfortunately, we are slipping into utter chaos here. For the first time in a long time, we cannot imagine what the future is going to be like. We see signs that are not very encouraging. Therefore, we decided to stop thinking about it. We have the present with us which comes with an option to leave. I am sure that a simple phone call could get us out of here. We would be safe. I am not sure if we would be happy. We belong here. This is where God has prepared a place for us. Many may not understand this. Some might say that safety is the main issue. Well, we tried to establish ourselves here on three different occasions and finally we found our place. Despite the dire state of affairs, there is something valuable here beyond our private happiness. It is too precious for us to abandon. It is like finding the treasure that I have been seeking all my life. Now, we just can’t leave.

Bruno shared a very simple and common childhood experience he had this week. Once when he was ten years old, he wanted to become the president. I am sure many people harbored this fantasy during their childhood. I remember telling my parents about it; they burst out laughing. I wasn’t crushed but I developed a sense of humor. I listened to Bruno’s story and how he discovered that this was an impossible dream. To be honest, I did not pay too much attention to it. It is a common childhood fantasy. However, before I left, he pulled me aside and said, “I hope that you believed my story. It is the truth.” I told him that I had no reason to doubt him. I realized that it was important for him that I believed him. I realized that Bruno never had the chance of sharing this childhood fantasy with his family or father. He never met his father and he grew up in a crowded orphanage. He was sharing a simple story but he wanted me to know that once he had dreams and hopes just like any other child. He has given me something special. He feels comfortable enough to share his childhood dreams with us.

This is why God has brought us here. This is our place.