When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, “Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little.” One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?” John 6:5-9

Felipe has been looking for a place to stay. I am glad that they decided it was time to move. It was because of the rats. Dealing with the scorpions and cockroaches was bad enough and now they have to deal with a nest of rats. For many reading this, it would sound like I am describing hell. For Felipe, it is his home. He used to sleep in the streets. Now, he has safe place for his family. Unfortunately, it is an abandoned storage unit; never built to house anyone. The pests were living there before families seeking shelter made it their home. The rats destroyed their clothes and food. It was the last straw for the family. Thankfully, some friends of ours have offered to help them with the rent until they are able to fend for themselves. Felipe and his wife found a place. It was two small rooms with a bathroom attached. It was going to cost them Brazilian R$900. Unfortunately, it was also infested with rats. It was the cheapest place they could find. Felipe works and earns only R$400 per month. He doesn’t earn enough to pay his rent. He is not the only one. There are families living in tents in the streets. Most of them work during the day doing odd jobs. None of them can afford to pay the rent.

The pandemic is slowing down for now. It is not the end yet. There are still about thousand deaths from Covid daily here. It used to be more so we are considering this time a slight reprieve. It gives us a chance to rekindle our relationships with the youth. I noticed something different this time. Daniel and Alex on two separate days asked if I could buy them something to eat. Previously they were able to get by in the streets without any help from us. Now, things have changed. On the way home from the streets, I stopped by in a grocery store to pick up something for dinner. I bought the same things that I usually buy but there is one big difference. I paid almost three times more than I did before the Pandemic. I made a comment to the cashier and she said that it has been getting harder to get by now. It is not just my impression. Everyone is feeling it. People used to give to the homeless the leftovers and now there is hardly enough for them.

The gospel of John states that Jesus asked Philip the difficult question, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” I sense being asked this same question in my soul. The evangelist informs us that it was a test. I hate tests. I detest the feeling of knowing that I could give the wrong answer. I wondered why Jesus thought that it was necessary to test Philip. Apparently, the apostle did well. He plainly stated that the problem was beyond their pay grade. I would give Jesus the very same answer in the present circumstances. Perhaps, Jesus was wondering where Philip would seek the solution. In our modern times, many, including Christians, would suggest the political route. They believe that we could get politicians who never bothered about the plight of these people to do something to help them. It would be easier to turn stone into bread. The apostles were aware of their limitations but they still sought for an answer. Some went around asking the people for some help and Andrew found a young lad willing to offer his little to Jesus. There is something to be said about this quiet apostle. He could see things in people that others tended to overlook. Philip diagnosed the problem and Andrew saw that perhaps the answer could be found in the most unlikely person. He was right.

Most of us would have never thought about bringing these measly offerings to Jesus. Maybe we would have kept it to ourselves, justifying that we had too little to offer and it would be best not to bother Jesus with it. However, many times great changes in history occur when people who have very little resources step up and do something. After all, we are the majority in this world. The people with resources are few and far between. Many times they want to use their resources for their own sakes. Nevertheless, our subject of interest is this little lad who had very little to offer. He is a much more interesting subject for our reflection. We tend to imagine that this little boy was someone like our own son or grandson or something of that nature. This boy wasn’t naive. Children in Jesus’ time worked from a tender age to support the family. Moreover, this boy would have had more working experience than many young adults today. This is not a criticism of young people today. It is just to say that this boy was aware how small his offering was and yet, it did not stop him from availing all he had to help feed the thousands.

Interestingly, we read this story with Felipe last Sunday but in its version in the gospel of Matthew. Felipe asked me how did Jesus perform this miracle. I told him that no one really knows. One interpretation is that Jesus just kept dividing the bread and fish and it just ended up filling up the baskets. There is also an interpretation that the people really had bread and fish with them and they thought that it was insufficient to make any impact. However, the generosity of this little boy prompted them to follow in his footsteps and donate what they had to Jesus. In the end, everyone had more than enough to eat. I asked Felipe which interpretation he liked the best. I was surprised that he chose the latter. He added that there was no doubt in his mind that Jesus could multiply the bread and the fish but the second one seems more powerful. It was not the answer I expected but I was grateful for it. It came from his life experience. It also gave me an insight on how to face the dreadful situation before us.

Felipe, Daniel and Alex don’t expect a full-scale miracle that would change their situation with a magical wave. They look for small things. They look for miracles in simple actions. Daniel and Alex were grateful that I was able to spend relatively a small amount for their meals. I sat with them as they ate and we actually had wonderful conversations. Daniel, before he ate his meal, insisted that we pray together and he gave thanks to God that we are back with them in the streets again. Felipe is not discouraged that the housing is expensive. He is happy that today he has a place to lay his head and a safe place for his children despite the rats. For him, it is a blessing every day that he is away from the streets. It has been four years since he last slept on the streets.

We don’t have what it takes to solve the immense problem before us. This is a good thing. We don’t want to have any illusions of grandeur that we are going to save the world. We are not God, nor little gods. We are people with limited resources. Having said that, it doesn’t mean we use this as an argument to remain passive. God has given us enough to create positive changes in this world. After all, it is not we who make changes in the world. Jesus is the one who does it. All we have to do is bring our offerings to our Lord’s table and He will transform them into bread of life. All of us have enough to bring something to the table. We need the faith of this young boy to see it. I really like this little lad. He brings joy to my heart.

He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. Mark 6:31-34

Something happened in the street. Actually it was really nothing. The street is like that. Not everything is what it seems. The homeless youth need some excitement in their lives. There is nothing more fun than good gossip. The brouhaha was about someone getting murdered where they were hanging out. Some version claimed that some of the youths attempted to rob and ended up killing their victim. I knew enough not to react immediately to this type of news. If you wait long enough, the facts will emerge. No one died, but some one was badly injured. However, even this was a little suspicious. The truth was, thankfully, less dramatic. There was a scuffle between two drugs addicts and one person sustained superficial injury to the head. Everyone was fine but it attracted lots of unnecessary attention. The gang which controls the area decided that enough was enough. They made a new rule. No one is allowed to use drugs within the vicinity. This works out to our benefit. The youth will definitely listen to the gang. Maybe this is the reason why everyone’s imagination was active. There was no chemical substance dulling it. However, something did happen; something unexpected and spectacular. All the homeless youth are completely vaccinated. This has never happened before.

Usually, the homeless are the last in line to receive any benefits including health care. However, the local government received a lot of vaccine requiring only one shot. They decided it would be best to administer it to the homeless population. Our kids were first in line. They were briefly oriented about the side effects before receiving their shot. Most of them did not experience anything, except a few that sensed a slight discomfort. Thankfully, this pandemic has bypassed the homeless population in our city. This is quite a significant population where we live. In our neighborhood which includes the area where the kids stay there are about two thousand homeless adults and a couple of hundred children and teens. Most recently these numbers include families too. These is a very conservative estimate; the reality is much higher. It is amazing that the most of them have received their vaccination.

I got my first shot, too. I have some immunity now and my second shot will be administered in mid September. I decided to venture out to our usual spot where we met the children before the pandemic. It has been a long since I used this phrase, “on the steps of the cathedral,” in our reflections. I stood in front of the steps for a brief moment. Now it is occupied only by the homeless. The cathedral looks a little lonely. Eventually things will be back to some sort of a new normal. As I approached the area where the teens and children were, I was feeling a little apprehensive. It has been more than a year since we have been in that location. We haven’t seen most of these young people for a long time. I wondered what the reception would be like. Just before the Pandemic, we were cultivating some deep relationship with the newer arrivals to the street. We had many good conversations and moments. However, our time with them was brief compared to the time we spent with Felipe and Bruno or even Wallace. These young people we have known for more than eight years. These new ones, perhaps, only a few months prior to the Pandemic. I wondered if we needed to start from ground zero.

To be honest, I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t afraid or anything of that nature. It is just that I am an introvert. Once I am comfortable in a situation, I tend to be more outgoing. Whenever I am faced with a new circumstance, I have a tendency to retreat within myself. I was really hoping for vestiges of the old in these new circumstances. We had carved a place for ourselves among the homeless teens. It took us a long time to build our identity among them. Now, I was afraid that this place is no more. Then I saw a familiar face. He waved to me. It was Rone. I have seen him periodically during the Pandemic. He called me over. Before I could say anything to him, someone ran up to me and gave me a big hug. Something which is unheard of in this time. No physical contact between friends for almost two years. The hug was accompanied with these words, “We are now all vaccinated so there is no danger!” Obviously, they haven’t received the best of orientations. However, the hug was most welcome. It was Kawanna. Then Erica came and hugged me. They were beaming. They asked about Mary and I told them she was making her way back to the ministry too. We were all coming back full force but slowly. It was Kawanna that was most expressive. She was the one we had started to get to know before the Pandemic. She had so much to say and managed to blurt everything in a brief moment. She wanted me to know that she missed all our conversations and just sitting and being with us. She wanted me to know that we were really special to her. She missed us and was anxious to see Mary again. She asked all kinds of questions. To be frank, I didn’t get most of it. I was too elated to pay attention to all her words. Her smile was sufficient. It was more powerful than her words. It told me that our space was still intact. Rust and moth have not corrupted it. Some might think that I was being worried over nothing. This is not entirely true. There is no guarantee that our place is always reserved for us. The streets operates on a different beat.

Our homeless youth live in a constant survival mode. They have to adapt to new situations constantly so that they don’t have the luxury to stop and reminisce about what they lost. It is quite a tragic state. They can’t afford to go to a deserted place and reflect. Perhaps, this period of Pandemic has given them this deserted place. The whole world stopped during this time. We have been in this state longer than most countries. We are still not anywhere close to the end. We are just figuring how to move forward as best as we can. However, for the past year, we have felt a little lost. Our foundations were shaken. There are many who pretend nothing has changed. For these, they will continue making the same mistakes and taking things for granted just like before. However, moments like these are meant for us to stop and evaluate our lives. They are our desert moments to ponder about Life. I guess that Kawanna might have done this. She realized that she treasured our friendship even though it was just in its initial stage. We realized that we loved our place among the homeless youth. It is the place where we sense the presence of the Good Shepherd strongly. It is the place where we feel like we are not lost sheep wondering around in search of a pastor. I know that “hug” might make some people cringe at this present moment but I have to say that it was most welcome. It wasn’t just a hug. It was divine touch. It was the Good Shepherd reminding us that we did not carve this space for ourselves. He prepared it for us. It is His space and He invited us to occupy it. He kept it for us. The evidence was in the face of Kawanna. It was spoke louder than a thousand words. It gave us the courage to return to the new normal. We are going back full force, one step at a time.