“For everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good; but if salt has lost its saltiness, how can you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.” Mark 9:49-50

Ⅰ

There appears to be more homeless people in wheelchairs now. Most of them are amputees. Maybe they have always been around and only now I am beginning to notice them. This is the problem with invisible people. They live in the shadows and we need to have our eyes and ears opened in order to notice their presence. This time, it was a man maybe a few years younger than me. He gestured with his hands for me to come over. It was strange because he really acted like he knew me. This did not happen in the area where we work with the children. It was in front of a grocery store in my neighborhood. I have never seen this man before. I instinctively dug into my pockets to make sure that I had something to give to him. I just assumed that he was going to ask for some change. I am guilty of having preconceived ideas. However, before I could do or say anything, he asked, “Do you have a stove at home?” It was definitely not what I expected to hear. It was such a random question that I wasn’t sure how to answer him. I was trying to figure the motive behind the question. Did he want me to donate a stove? That’s completely absurd but the thought did cross my mind. My reaction must have amused him. He quickly explained that someone had given him a packet of fresh corn on the cob and he wanted to give it to me. He did not have the means to cook it as he slept in a tent in a square nearby. He was holding onto to it so that he could give to someone like me. There were tons of people passing by and I wondered why he thought I was the best candidate. I asked how does he get his sustenance. He replied that he usually eats in a cheap restaurant that serves food for under a couple of dollars. It is run by the city. There used be an abundance of these restaurants. Unfortunately, most of them were closed recently and only a small handful remain. I offered to pay for his meal and even something more. He smiled and said, “Today I want to give you something and I wasn’t expecting anything in return.” I assured him that he has given something very special.

Ⅱ

This happened sometime back, not too long ago, during the worse period of the pandemic. Most of the restaurants were closed and there were hardly people in the center of the city where the homeless slept. Consequently, their food source became scarce. We met with Kawanna and Erica to help them buy some groceries. The children and teens were cooking over makeshift kerosene stove. The whole process was quite complicated for the teens and some of them gave up sniffing paint thinner so that they could focus on making food for everyone. Only some did this and Kawanna and Erica were two of them. We were talking when a homeless man stood close by trying desperately to get our attention. Again, I thought that he wanted some financial aid. I acknowledged his presence and told him that I would talk with him after the girls were gone. However, he insisted on speaking to all of us. He was very polite about it. He apologized profusely for interrupting and wanted to know if we would be offended if he gave us some things. He had a bag full of groceries. He told us that people have been giving him canned food and packages. Since he has no means of cooking them, he has been keeping them so that he could share it with someone else. He thought that we were the best candidates. The girls happily accepted them. Then he got excited and went back to his tent and brought out several packages of cooked food. He told us that he hasn’t touched any of them. He wanted to us to know everything was clean. Someone gave it him but he has already had his meal. He wanted us to take it and maybe give it to someone who really needs it. I had a feeling if we had remained that he would have even offered his tent. He was delighted to be able to share something he received. He thanked us and went back to his tent.

Ⅲ

This happened before the pandemic. We were sitting in our usual place where we meet the children and teens. The area is tourist attraction too because of the Cathedral, majestic in the middle of the square. At the same time, it is a place for the down and out to pass their day. Besides the homeless, there are criminals who sit and wait for their next unsuspecting prey. It is not a good place to take selfies but people do anyway and end up losing everything in the process. There are hundreds of people who transit through this area and most of them don’t like to delay too much except for the imprudent tourists. A woman was passing through, taking all the necessary precautions. She was obviously not comfortable here. To make things worse a homeless man started yelling at her. He was trying to get her attention. She hastened her steps to get out of the area as soon as possible. Finally, the man ran after her. It was interesting that hardly anybody paid attention to this scene. Maybe because the homeless man was part of the invisible group and no one really pays attention to them in this area. He caught up to her and gently tapped on her shoulder. You can imagine her reaction. She must have thought that she was the next victim of a robbery but instead he handed something to her. It was her wallet. She had dropped it in her hurry to get to wherever she was going. From her reaction, it was obvious that she had much to lose if he had not found her wallet. We could make out that he was explaining to her where she dropped it. She was so grateful that she wanted to give him some money. The man refused anything from her. He turned around and went back to his usual place where he sits. He did not do it for money even though he did not have any. No doubt he will get his money elsewhere but this little thing he did, he didn’t want to be tainted with an ulterior motive. It was his gift to this woman. No one saw what he had done. He didn’t care. He was invisible to the world. However, we were blessed to have witnessed this whole scene.

I don’t know the names of these homeless men. It doesn’t matter. They are part of me. I will carry them with me wherever I am. Their simple actions gave me joy in a world becoming bleaker by the minute. We feel a sense of despair with the growing chaos and hatred which seems to take over the hearts and minds of many. However, I walk among people who have lost everything. The man in the wheelchair has even lost parts of his body. Despite all deprivation, they are still able to bring joy and hope to me. Their simple gestures of kindness and generosity reveal that even though life might be harsh to them, they are still able to keep their saltiness. Watching their simple way of showing that they care for their neighbor helps me not to lose my saltiness. It helps me believe that despite all the negative things we hear and see in this world there is still enough salt present to make our lives beautiful. Love can and will persevere through all this chaos and hatred because nothing can take away the love of God in our hearts, unless we choose to focus on the dire situations of life. These three men who have lost everything have shown me that no matter what life dishes out to us, we can still bear testimony to God’s enduring love. I believe this is what it means to be salt of the world.

For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. Mark 8:36-38

There is a hideous scar where her right arm used to be. I am not sure how she lost it. If I were to guess, I think it could have been in an accident. Her arm wasn’t only thing she lost. She has lost control of her legs have too. She gets around with the aid of a wheelchair. Unfortunately, her wheelchair looks like something that should have been discarded decades ago. In spite of everything, she manages to get around quite effectively using just her left arm. Her face tells a story of hardship and suffering. She almost looks unfriendly and to a certain extent intimidating. One can imagine that she was once a proud independent person and now she resents begging in order to survive. Her overall physical presence makes people uncomfortable. Everything we want to hide of our human frailty is exposed in her. Most people don’t know how to respond to her but one thing is for sure; she doesn’t want anyone’s pity. She just wants money to pay for next meal and maybe little something to make her harsh life endurable. Mary felt drawn to her. She asked for her name once. I am not sure if she is used to someone wanting to know her name. It’s Vania.

It just got done raining. The children had taken shelter from the rain and I was waiting outside for them. I was observing Vania as she went around asking for money. She begs aggressively. It is the only way she can assert her presence. I put my hand in my pocket to find something for her. I did not want to give her loose change. That would seem like an afterthought. Notes seem to have some sort of intentionality. I found a few dollars. It wasn’t much. I waited for the right opportunity. I wanted to give it to her before she had the chance to ask from me. I don’t know why I thought this was important. Maybe I wanted her to know that she didn’t need to ask. I placed the money in her hand. She looked up and gestured for me to come closer. She wanted to say something in my ear. She was wearing a mask and wasn’t sure if I could hear her clearly through it. She whispered, “God bless you, my friend.” I could see through her mask that she smiled. It almost erased all the traces of hardship and bitterness. Then she asked me if I could help her get across the street. It was uphill and she couldn’t do it on her own. I gladly did it. She asked if I lived nearby. She commented that she noticed me many times talking with the teens. I told her that I lived in the center but a little ways from where we were. She was just curious. A old man with a kind face walked by and she decided to ask him for money. I left her to do her thing. She does what she needs to do in order to survive in this world. Even though we didn’t talk much, I felt something special happened. Obviously, I have given to people begging before. It has always been a pleasant exchange. However, this time I felt that something sacred has occurred. I think Vania had given me an opportunity to meet Jesus today. After all He did say in His words,

“Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

No doubt some might think that I am referring to the gratifying sensation we feel in our heart whenever we help someone. This is a good and pleasant feeling which reminds us that doing something good is good itself. There is very little that needs to be said about this feeling. However, I am talking about something else. It was the fact that she noticed my presence.

As a regular human being, I share the desire to be noticed. We are social creatures. The more we get noticed, the more we feel affirmed as individuals. Everyone does all kinds of things to stand out even those who claim not to care about gaining the attention of others. We desire to belong to some group. In some cases, we are willing to do strange and detrimental things just to be noticed and affirmed by a certain crowd.

All of us do this. It is almost inevitable. We want to gain the whole world if possible. Jesus warns us that not only is this not going to satisfy our soul, it will destroy us as individuals. This idea is not only present in the gospels, there is a consensus in almost all the great wisdom traditions of the world. Even in the Old Testament we heard the Preacher who appeared to have everything in life say, “All is vanity!” In the end, gaining the whole world does absolutely nothing to fulfill the emptiness of our souls. It is the great dilemma we face as humans. We want the world to acknowledge our presence and yet it cannot give us what we truly need. Even then, it doesn’t stop us from trying to gain the whole world because we are also part of this adulterous and sinful generation. We persist on going the wrong direction despite everything.

These are harsh words that Jesus used to describe the world and they are quite precise. “Adulterous” reveals how easily we betray our own convictions just to gain recognition or even have our vain aspirations affirmed. “Sinful” because we are all missing the mark. Looking for significance in the wrong things. Jesus is not one of those people who criticize everything that is wrong without giving us a solution. Unfortunately, He knows that his solution won’t be satisfactory for many. He tells us the answer in a negative manner.

Apparently, Jesus believes that many would be ashamed to acknowledge His presence. It is possible that His presence might not be savory for the values of this world. He is not going to be mingling with those who gain the approval of this world. His presence is with those like Vania whose life seems to be the opposite of everything the world deems as successful. It is not saying that being successful is something wrong. However, it is a grave error to think that being successful in this world is synonymous with being blessed. There are many who gain the whole world but still fail drastically to see Jesus present in a real way in their midst.

There are many people who have said to me, “God bless you!” Most of the time it is meaningless. It always felt like another generic way of expressing gratitude without much commitment. However, when I heard Vania saying it to me, it touched my soul. I felt truly blessed. The whole exchange was sacramental. Jesus was present but in a way we cannot describe. Not just for me but I believe it was true even for Vania.

Some time ago, before this Pandemic, Mary and I were talking with the children when a homeless woman approached us. She wanted to let us know that they were giving out food around the corner. It was obvious that she mistook us for being homeless. We politely thanked her. As she left, we thought to ourselves maybe we should rethink about the way we dress. We told the story to our friends and had a good laugh over it. However, a friend who is no longer with us pointed out something important. His unfortunate passing has made his observation even more valuable now. He said that this was good thing because it meant that they don’t see a distinction between us and them. In other words, we have gained a place among them. Maybe it is not a space that is heavily disputed in our society. In my life, I tried to carve out a space in many groups. I was successful in some attempts and not so in others. However, I was never satisfied in any of them. Now, we are here without any intention of belonging to any group and, all the sudden, we are given a place. We are recognized by people who the world treats as invisible. We became visible to the invisible people.
Somehow it feels special. It feels we received a gift from God. It feels like I finally belong. Vania is right. I am truly blessed.

Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. She begged Jesus to cast the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” Then he said to her, “For saying that, you may go—the demon has left your daughter.” Mark 7:26-29

This is arguably one of my favorite stories in the gospels. It is mainly because of the words of her answer. I prayed them for many years.

“We do not presume to come to this Thy Table, o merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness but in thy manifold and great mercies. We be not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table, But thou art the same Lord, whose property is always to have mercy….”

Readers from the Anglican tradition might know this prayer or even automatically recite it in its completion. Unfortunately, some of the same tradition may have never heard it. However, I am not going to lament over it in this post, maybe some other time but not today. Because of this prayer I always paid special attention to this story. It has helped transform her story into my story. I guess good liturgical prayers have the power to do that.

Over the past few weeks, I have been becoming more and more aware of the immense gap between the children and us. It is strange that this reality is sinking in now after more than eight years of ministering to them. Personally, I think it is because they are becoming more precious to us. During the time of the pandemic, we have been isolated from our friends and the church. Our main contact with the world was through the children. Even though I wasn’t able to see all of them at the same time, I was in contact with them constantly. They became our lifeline during this time. Consequently, our relationship grew and so did our love for each other. Naturally, we want the best for those whom we love. It goes without saying that what we consider “the best for our children” is based on our values and experiences. However, there is an enormous gap between us and the children. The children and teens grew up homeless, ignored by their parents and most adults. They had to create their own world system in their minds in order to survive their reality. It is different and foreign to everything which I have been brought up with in my life. Their values are derived from their living context. I cannot expect them to have the same values nor the same goals or ambition as I have. All these things are a product of my own upbringing. Our children and teens grew up in an entirely different environment. There is great abyss between us.

Jesus and this woman came from two different worlds. Our Lord immediately pointed this out. He used words that would be considered harsh now. The Jewish people in His time considered the Gentiles to be like dogs. These in Jesus’ times were considered unclean animals because they were scavengers. They were tolerated because they protected the household that fed them. Their existence was more accidental but intentional. They did not belong to anyone. They were just there. Thus was the existence of this woman. Her presence was just tolerated but it was insignificant. It would appear as if Jesus shared the prejudices of His people back then when He called her a dog. It was definitely neither a compliment nor a term of endearment. However, we should also judge Jesus by His actions. He allowed her to be in the same place as He was. Gentiles are not allowed direct contact with the Jewish people and yet she was at the table with Him. He gave her the opportunity to approach Him even though he was exhausted and desperately in need of rest.

“Jesus said, “For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

I read this verse with Felipe. He asked me if it was possible for him to move an apartment building which was towering over us. It was a little disappointing to hear this frankly. It is not Felipe’s fault in any way. It is the age in which we live. Faith was become something of a spectacle where so-called pastors performed “miracles” and “healings” in the same manner as some magicians do. Felipe was impressed that faith can move things. I reminded that there is nowhere in the Bible where God removed mountains. He used mountains to meet with people. He used the desert to prepare people for greater things. He did not remove the sea to help His people get across. He used it to reveal His infinite power and mercy. Besides our faith is not an instrument to perform spectacles. I am not sure if Felipe understood. I decided not to pursue the matter. Faith cannot be taught. No one taught the Syrophoenician woman how to respond to Jesus. The question, therefore, is how did she develop her faith.

This woman spent all her life in a society which rejected and ignored her and yet, none of this caused her to doubt that Jesus, a Jewish rabbi, would heal her daughter. Despite her dire circumstances, she had faith. At the same time, there are many who have given up their faith for relatively small issues. We cannot adopt a self-righteous attitude and say that these people are weak. This is what the Pharisees would do and Jesus warned us that our spirituality must surpass these people. Most of us, if not all, have faith the size of a mustard seed. It is so tiny that is impossible for us not to have it. Jesus said that this was enough. Now, we have to discover how to move mountains with it. This cannot be done unless our faith can help us see the One who is actually able to remove all obstacles which life throws at us.

Recently I was chatting with Daniel when all the sudden he stood up and greeted a young hip-looking man. Then he asked me to come over. He introduced me as a priest. It so happened that the young man was a Roman Catholic priest. We talked for a while and then after he left I asked Daniel how he met him. He said that he saw him in the church several times and he approached him on his own. He saw something different in this young priest. I saw it too. I can’t explain what it is but there is something in him that gave me a sense of peace and acceptance. Daniel went on to say that he believed that the more he surrounds himself with people like these, the more he feels confident that one day he will have the courage to take the necessary step to overcome the obstacles before him. I think Daniel articulated perfectly how to allow our mustard seed to grow. We need to use our faith to recognize the presence of God in this world; the clearer we see God in this world, the greater our faith becomes in overcoming life’s mountains. Daniel saw God’s presence in the life of the priest even though before they ever exchanged a word.

The priest, like myself, comes from a world entirely different from that of Daniel’s. There is very little in common between us just like the Syrophoenician woman and Jesus. However, she had the faith to see God’s presence in Jesus despite all the obstacles between them. We don’t need more faith to overcome the obstacles in life. We just need to use our tiny faith to open our eyes and see God’s presence in this world. Daniel is learning how to do this. I think that I need to stop focusing on the gap that separates us. Instead my focus should on using my tiny mustard seed faith to see the One who brings us together to overcome the obstructing mountains in our lives.