She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks. Luke 10:39-40

As expected, my final year in seminary was a hectic one. Lots of reading, lots of papers, and they added a weekly 15 hours practicum in a local parish just to make things more interesting. Actually, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had excellent professors and interesting fellow seminarians. All of us were diverse in our theological stands and hardly anyone agreed with each other, the ideal situation for lively discussions. We were wrestling with highly important issues, none of which I can remember. Nothing from the hours of intense studies and frantic writings of essays are retained in my memory. Instead, I remember many things outside the classroom. Particularly a story about fireflies told to me at that time by a mentally unstable homeless young man. I am able recall almost every detail of this man; his voice and mannerisms. I guess my memory decided that this was relevant to keep and not the theological discussions. I would not have met this interesting character if it wasn’t for another fellow seminarian. One faithful day he knocked on our door to ask if we were interested in doing something with the homeless in downtown Montreal. It was my final year and I had many pressing commitments. Time was scarce. Therefore, we decided on a yes. I could not afford to waste away such an opportunity.

We started this during the winter which was a crazy thing in itself. Every Saturday he and his wife would journey from two doors away and make sandwiches in our apartment. Then we would read a passage from the gospel, usually the gospel reading for the following Sunday and say a short prayer. Then off we went to freezing streets of Montreal armed with sandwiches and thermal flask full of fresh hot coffee. We did this every week. Eventually the homeless recognized us and knew us by name. The young man of the fireflies story was one of them. Initially we were unsure of him.
He used to stand by the streets and yell profanities at people who walked by, usually huge muscular guys. He was just a scrawny guy himself. He was like a time bomb. Then when he saw us, he smiled and walked up to us. He was really a gentle soul tormented by serious mental illness. We realized that he was yelling at the voices in his head and not at people. He knew that we were religious and refrained from using foul language around us. He was a kind of a poet. A child of Italian immigrants, he shared with us this favorite childhood memory was he visited Italy. He described his encounter with fireflies in the fields. Maybe it was his first time seeing them. He was so moved and amazed by their presence. He wanted to capture and keep them in a glass jar. He thought it would be a way to secure his happiness forever in a bottle. Unfortunately, he learned life is not as such and he lives in the streets with a debilitating mind but his memory reminds him that there were once fireflies in his life.

This week we were compelled to sit and do absolutely nothing.Unfortunately, our reasons for this were not the same as Mary in the gospel story. We were hampered from doing our important activities because of the dreaded Covid. Yes, once again it struck our household. This time it got both of us. Thankfully, we are vaccinated and the infection was not as serious as it could have been. We felt a little useless not being able to do anything and strangely a little guilty as if we were being lazy. It is amazing that we have become so accustomed to busyness that we have made it an essential part of our personal identity.

The last time we were in the streets Caio asked for our help. He needed to make an appointment to get his identity card. It is a time consuming bureaucratic process not worth getting into details. Caio had lost his card a few months ago. However, when he asked us, it was late in the evening. I could think of better things to do than to waste our time waiting in a depressing government building. Besides, it was going to be an exercise in futility. Caio is not going to keep the appointment. Even if he did, there is a strong chance that he will lose identity card almost immediately. We have been through this several times.

Caio’s situation is very complex. We have seen his mental state deteriorate over the years. Unfortunately, this is a phenomenon not just restricted to him. Most of the older teens and young adults who grew up homeless manifest some signs of mental illness but this is not the time to delve into this subject. Caio is definitely the worst of the lot. He can hardly strong a sentence together coherently. Many times we have seen him talking to himself. Sometimes he thinks that he is a Pentecostal pastor and casts out imaginary demons. It is quite sad and disturbing for those who have known him from a long time ago.

Honestly, I had much more important things to do than make an appointment for him which for sure he wasn’t going to keep. I suggested that we go together on another day and try to get everything done on the day itself. Caio wanted us to go with him right there and then. He never asks much from us and we decided to humor him.

As we walked to the place, Caio said many things that did not make any sense whatsoever. Most of the time, we just nodded in agreement to whatever comments he made. I did not want to exasperate the poor kid with questions. Then unexpectedly he spoke lucidly about the first time we helped him get his documents. It was something we did almost eight years ago. He remembered everything detail about it. He remembered that we sat with him and even helped with providing our phone number as his contact information. Unbeknownst to us, it was a special moment for him even though he never said anything of it before.

We got the appointment marked for him. It was for Wednesday this week. We offered to meet him on the day but he refused. He was certain that he will remember. No doubt he will forget everything. I am sure that we will have to do this several times before he get his documents. However, I realize that it is not really about the documents. Caio has a vivid memory of us helping him. It was an important moment in his life and he wanted reassurances that this memory was based something real and not one of his many delusions. We are his fireflies and he wanted to know if our love is still burning brightly for him. My sense of what is important could have stolen what is essential for our souls. It was a stroke of luck, maybe…that I decided to do what was seemingly a useless activity.

Our week of doing nothing gave us an opportunity to reflect on what is essential in our lives. Well, at least, it made me reflect on our last interaction with Caio. I had many things to do on that day. They were important things. Everything we do seems important to us. In reality they are just things that clamor for our attention. If we are not careful, we can live our lives doing one thing after another without discovering the essential things. Mary was able to discern what was essential. She sat and listened to our Lord. Of course, we can not do this in the literal sense. However, we can discern the voice of the Holy Spirit beckoning us to come and sit in His presence doing what is seemingly unimportant in order to discover what is essential for our lives. Important things come and go and most of the time, leave no impressions in our lives. Essential moments, on the other hand, become part of who we are. Mary will always be remembered for sitting at the feet of our Lord while her sister was too busy doing things which were not even worth mentioning nor remembering.