“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:12-17

Perhaps most of us should find these verses disturbing. Surely they are difficult words for us to accept. Maybe we are so mesmerized by their beauty and familiarity that we overlook their controversial nature. Sometimes I have heard preachers talk about God’s friendship with us and they forget to mention that friendship is a two way street. It is great to have a friend like Jesus. However, Jesus tells us that we are to become a friend like Him. He laid down His life for his friends and we should do the same.

Surely this is too much for most of us. We can understand dying for our family members. Many times I have heard people say that they will defend their families to death. They believe that this makes them sound noble. However, Jesus, on the other hand, said some controversial things in regards to our families.

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14: 26

He speaks about our blood relations in the negative but He extols friendship. He teaches us that the truest expression of love is when we lay down our lives for our friends. However, why just friends? Why not for a noble cause? In Jesus’ time, there were zealots who willingly sacrificed their lives for their nation. They would have loved it if Jesus had said that greatest love is to lay one’s life for a grand cause or something to that effect. He didn’t. He said friends.

We use many different words to describe the nature of our relationship with each other. We have work colleagues, club members, church friends and the list goes on. Many times these words limit the nature of our relationships. We say that these people are our friends only in a given context. Beyond this context, the friendship tends to lose its intensity. For most people, if they are willing to admit it, friendship is not a necessity. It is almost like a cordial way of dealing with people whom we need to be with for a determined period. This is true for most people who are well adjusted in this world. They conform to all the given roles in society. Every one has their allocated space and time. Therefore, the words of Jesus in this and almost every societal context go against the cultural norms. They set themself against the values of this world. They invite us to look at the person to whom we have no social obligation and open ourselves to them. Jesus makes it even more complicated. He implies that our understanding of salvation is dependent on it.

For those who find themselves lost in this world, friendships are the only anchor to ensure them a place in reality. In other words, the words of Jesus are gospel only to those who are disillusioned with the values of this world.

Our homeless youth would not find the words of Jesus so controversial. However, this does not mean that they would willingly die for each other. This would be sheer nonsense for them. They wouldn’t have any qualms saying this directly to each other. However, their bond of friendship is deeper than most people in society. They need each other for survival. At night, our youth sleep in groups and they need the tactile presence of each other to make them feel safe and secure. For them, their homes and families are the source of traumas and their friends are part of the healing process. I think this is perhaps true for many people reading this too. However, our homeless children and youth are allowed to admit this. Many who live so-called regular lives are restricted from admitting this due to social pressures. However, Jesus is only interested in the Truth which liberates our souls from falsehood.

Our children might understand the importance and relevance of friendship but this does not mean that they would find the words of Jesus easy. They still pose a challenge. They require us to lay down our lives for our friends, something which our homeless youth would consider ridiculous no matter how much they love their friends. I am sure that this reflects the honest sentiments of many. Before we ignore these words because of their difficulty, we should consider trying to break this down to something small and simple which is doable on a daily basis. Instead, of laying down our lives, we should consider the words, “dying to oneself”.

In today’s world, we are bombarded with technology and items which cater to our desires. There are countless opportunities to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. Today people don’t even need to leave their living room to find a romantic partner. I think the point is clear and I don’t have to labour on it. In this context, “dying to ourselves” means simply making the time to be with someone else. It is coming out of our isolated shells and making time for others. People have isolated themselves so much that they became ill both physically and emotionally. They need friends to heal their souls. They need people who are willing to die to themselves and make time to reach out to them.

We meet the youth every day at the same spot and this time, maybe because of the years we spent with them, they come looking for us. Almost everyday at the same time, they drop everything they are doing and join us at our spot. Usually we sit on the ground and talk with them and eventually we end up with a game of Uno. Recently, we noticed a group of Chinese immigrants who work in the restaurants joining us at this time. They don’t really participate in our activities but they sit and observe our interactions. We have become their coffee break activity. The youth noticed them and they liked it. There are also some street cleaners who observe us from a distance. Sometimes they inform us where the young people are when we arrive there. At other times, random people stop and make comments and just sit and watch our interactions with each one. Just recently, we were playing a game and a young man came up to us and asked us if he could play as well. We were taken aback at first but our homeless youth made some space for him to sit. He played with us and told us that he was baker and was in-between jobs. He sat and interacted with us. The youth treated him well. He played with us until it was time for him to go to his new job. Maybe he needed to participate in something calm and soothing before embarking on this new phase in his life.

I have to say something which makes us feel delightfully happy. There is a deeper and stronger bond of friendship between us and the youth. It is so strong that others are taking notice of it. It is not a one way friendship. The youth enrich our lives, they make time for us. We make time for them. People around us are making time to be with us in the heart of a busy city where people are constantly being isolated from each other. A group of homeless youth are drawing the attention of the people. The amazing thing is that they don’t see them as a group of homeless young people but friends having a good and healthy time with each other. Many don’t realize it whenever they see us together but I am sure they sense it in their souls. In the midst of our card games and conversations, Jesus is the center of all. Maybe it is this presence which gives them the courage to approach us. He is the one who unites us and overcomes all social and cultural barriers. The youth opened themselves to us and we open ourselves to them. Now, complete strangers are beginning to open themselves to us. This is the gospel. This is why Jesus said it is important to lay down our lives for our friends. In our reality, it simply means giving each other our time.