Now large crowds were travelling with him; and he turned and said to them, ‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25-27

This is a tough one!

Not only are these words hard to follow; Jesus uses a word which is rarely associated with His teachings. He is teaching us to hate. However, the “hatred” is not towards our enemy but the ones who almost all cultures and religions in the world advise to cherish and love. These words should disturb and perturb us. Disturb the way we think about life as well as perturb our attitudes towards it. One of the more popular translations of the Bible in Portuguese decides to tone down these verses. They translate these words in this manner;

“Whoever comes to me must put father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself in second place in order to be my disciple.”

It removes the word, hate, altogether. It sounds milder even though the essence of what Jesus said is still present. However, it lacks the intensity. It is this tension which Jesus wanted to emphasize.
Without this, these words lose something significant and important. They become a mere practice of the intellectual. However, being a disciple of our Lord demands a change in lifestyle. It is not a mere assent to certain doctrines. It requires us to reevaluate everything in life. It transforms the way we relate to people in the world. All this begins with our most intimate relationships.

The emotional intensity of these words also requires us to be hesitant in the manner by which we interpret them. We interpret them according to the virtue of the person saying them. Jesus never uses the word, “hate”, in any of His teachings. He never used it against His enemies. He definitely never once used it in reference to a person. Therefore, we cannot assume now that He is teaching us to hate the most precious people in our lives. Jesus said,

‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil.’ Matthew 5:17

One of the Ten Commandments is to “honor thy father and mother”. Something which is present throughout the gospels in Jesus’ treatment of His parents. The gospel of John relates the story of His first miracle. Even though Jesus knew it wasn’t the right time to act, He still conceded to His mother’s request. He did not fall prey to motherly manipulation. He wanted to honor His mother. Even at the Cross, while suffering intense pain and humiliation, Jesus was concerned about the welfare of His mother. He entrusted the care of His mother to a disciple. He ensured that she was never left alone. The gospel of Luke narrates a story where Jesus resurrected a young man only because the young man’s widowed mother would have been alone and abandoned in this world. He confronted the Pharisees for twisting the Law to justify lack of obligation towards their parents. Therefore, when our Lord said these words, He did not mean that we should turn our backs against our parents, wives and children. His disciples who walked with our Lord would know that Jesus never turned His back on anyone. However, He turned His back on the world. He rejected the world and its teachings.

Our parents, in their care and concern for our well being, teach us how to survive in this world. This is the nature of parenting. It is an universal trait, not only found in humans but also the animal kingdom for the most part. A good parent teaches a child not only to survive but also to flourish in this world. We form our family units to continue this practice. Our society depends on it. We send our children into the world with the hope that they become successful people. In order to flourish in this world, we need to adopt the values of this world. We need to function according to the ethics of this world. We need to tow the line.

In Jesus’ culture whose practices and customs are still alive in many of the cultures of the Asia Continent, parents are held accountable for the success and failure of their offsprings. Even today, the parents of these cultures are held responsible for finding the right partner in their children’s conjugal relationship. Everything is dependent on the parents. Failure to submit to their bidding is considered not only sign of disrespect but also rebellion and hatred towards them. The worst thing one could in these cultures is to bring shame to their parents’ name. Unfortunately, we still hear disturbing news of parents murdering their children for dishonoring them. It is very serious affair. It is not a mere offense but a complete disruption of the very essence of a family unit to follow a path different than the one which one’s parents prepared their children to take. The path that Jesus walked and walks on is always different from the ones our parents taught us. Our parents are imperfect beings like us. They do the best they can and they want us to be successful. However, their idea of success is limited and not always in line with that of the gospel. Every generation thinks that it has understood the Truth of the Gospel. However, the Gospel is too immense and great for its Truth to be captured by one generation. Every generation needs to rediscover the fullness of the gospel. Even Mother Mary had a hard time grasping the Truth of the gospel despite the fact that she was aware of the greatness of Her Son’s ministry from the time of His birth.

When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, ‘He has gone out of his mind.’ Mark 3:21

What was this “it” which convinced His family that Jesus wasn’t quite right by their standards. Well, there were many things “wrong” about Jesus. We tend to overlook them because we come from a different culture. Firstly, it was extremely unusual for someone of Jesus’ age, during His time, to be single. A successful Jewish man, by the time of His age, would have a wife and many children. Secondly, Jesus violated the strict social system. A son should always follow the profession of the father, in our Lord’s case, he should have remained a carpenter. He came an itinerant preacher. Perhaps the most concerning thing was His teaching. He did not have proper religious training according to the authorities. They even confronted Jesus by whose authority He said and did things. They wanted Him to name a rabbi who had trained Him. This was what they considered proper authority. Most importantly, the teachings of Jesus shook the very foundations of His society. They still do and this is perhaps why most of the time people ignore His teachings. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and forgive unconditionally even if the offender repeatedly offends us. There are other difficult teachings but these two are enough to mess up our world. I recently heard a Hassidic rabbi explain about the formation of a nation. He said that in order to unite a nation, it is necessary to have an enemy to hate. Without this hatred, a nation cannot function. Where there is hatred, there cannot be forgiveness. The rabbi is against this of course. I found him to be fascinating because his teachings based on the Law are very similar to Jesus’ teachings. In other words, Jesus was fulfilling the Law when He taught these things. However, it was and is radically different to the things of this world.

Nietzsche, the formidable enemy of Christianity, admired Jesus for His strength and courage. He considered Jesus the only true Christian who ever lived. At the same time, he attacked His teachings because Nietzsche thought that the gospel made people weak and failures in this world. The problem with Nietzsche is that he was right. The teachings of the gospel are incompatible with this world. They do not make us flourish in this world. Therefore, we cannot have our cake and eat it. We either choose success in this world or failure by living according to the life of Jesus.

For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Corinthians 1:18

Success in this world has nothing to do with morality. There is a kind of morality present in this world but it is void of Love. The morality of Jesus makes Love the only foundation. Not a sentimental interpretation of the word but concrete lifestyle change reflecting the essence of God in this world. It makes people a priority and not just the select people whom society deems as deserving our priority. It is morality based on revealing God’s love to everyone. In our ministry, we play a parental role to our children and youth in the streets. We are not their biological parents and therefore, our priority is not making them successful in this world. We are their parents through the Holy Spirit. They are our children through the miracle of the Holy Spirit. We have only one task. We have to help them to grow to be successful in the Kingdom of God. This world would never give them a chance to be successful. They don’t fit its criteria but they qualify perfectly for God’s Kingdom. This is all that matters.