Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. She begged Jesus to cast the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” Then he said to her, “For saying that, you may go—the demon has left your daughter.” Mark 7:26-29

This is arguably one of my favorite stories in the gospels. It is mainly because of the words of her answer. I prayed them for many years.

“We do not presume to come to this Thy Table, o merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness but in thy manifold and great mercies. We be not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table, But thou art the same Lord, whose property is always to have mercy….”

Readers from the Anglican tradition might know this prayer or even automatically recite it in its completion. Unfortunately, some of the same tradition may have never heard it. However, I am not going to lament over it in this post, maybe some other time but not today. Because of this prayer I always paid special attention to this story. It has helped transform her story into my story. I guess good liturgical prayers have the power to do that.

Over the past few weeks, I have been becoming more and more aware of the immense gap between the children and us. It is strange that this reality is sinking in now after more than eight years of ministering to them. Personally, I think it is because they are becoming more precious to us. During the time of the pandemic, we have been isolated from our friends and the church. Our main contact with the world was through the children. Even though I wasn’t able to see all of them at the same time, I was in contact with them constantly. They became our lifeline during this time. Consequently, our relationship grew and so did our love for each other. Naturally, we want the best for those whom we love. It goes without saying that what we consider “the best for our children” is based on our values and experiences. However, there is an enormous gap between us and the children. The children and teens grew up homeless, ignored by their parents and most adults. They had to create their own world system in their minds in order to survive their reality. It is different and foreign to everything which I have been brought up with in my life. Their values are derived from their living context. I cannot expect them to have the same values nor the same goals or ambition as I have. All these things are a product of my own upbringing. Our children and teens grew up in an entirely different environment. There is great abyss between us.

Jesus and this woman came from two different worlds. Our Lord immediately pointed this out. He used words that would be considered harsh now. The Jewish people in His time considered the Gentiles to be like dogs. These in Jesus’ times were considered unclean animals because they were scavengers. They were tolerated because they protected the household that fed them. Their existence was more accidental but intentional. They did not belong to anyone. They were just there. Thus was the existence of this woman. Her presence was just tolerated but it was insignificant. It would appear as if Jesus shared the prejudices of His people back then when He called her a dog. It was definitely neither a compliment nor a term of endearment. However, we should also judge Jesus by His actions. He allowed her to be in the same place as He was. Gentiles are not allowed direct contact with the Jewish people and yet she was at the table with Him. He gave her the opportunity to approach Him even though he was exhausted and desperately in need of rest.

“Jesus said, “For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

I read this verse with Felipe. He asked me if it was possible for him to move an apartment building which was towering over us. It was a little disappointing to hear this frankly. It is not Felipe’s fault in any way. It is the age in which we live. Faith was become something of a spectacle where so-called pastors performed “miracles” and “healings” in the same manner as some magicians do. Felipe was impressed that faith can move things. I reminded that there is nowhere in the Bible where God removed mountains. He used mountains to meet with people. He used the desert to prepare people for greater things. He did not remove the sea to help His people get across. He used it to reveal His infinite power and mercy. Besides our faith is not an instrument to perform spectacles. I am not sure if Felipe understood. I decided not to pursue the matter. Faith cannot be taught. No one taught the Syrophoenician woman how to respond to Jesus. The question, therefore, is how did she develop her faith.

This woman spent all her life in a society which rejected and ignored her and yet, none of this caused her to doubt that Jesus, a Jewish rabbi, would heal her daughter. Despite her dire circumstances, she had faith. At the same time, there are many who have given up their faith for relatively small issues. We cannot adopt a self-righteous attitude and say that these people are weak. This is what the Pharisees would do and Jesus warned us that our spirituality must surpass these people. Most of us, if not all, have faith the size of a mustard seed. It is so tiny that is impossible for us not to have it. Jesus said that this was enough. Now, we have to discover how to move mountains with it. This cannot be done unless our faith can help us see the One who is actually able to remove all obstacles which life throws at us.

Recently I was chatting with Daniel when all the sudden he stood up and greeted a young hip-looking man. Then he asked me to come over. He introduced me as a priest. It so happened that the young man was a Roman Catholic priest. We talked for a while and then after he left I asked Daniel how he met him. He said that he saw him in the church several times and he approached him on his own. He saw something different in this young priest. I saw it too. I can’t explain what it is but there is something in him that gave me a sense of peace and acceptance. Daniel went on to say that he believed that the more he surrounds himself with people like these, the more he feels confident that one day he will have the courage to take the necessary step to overcome the obstacles before him. I think Daniel articulated perfectly how to allow our mustard seed to grow. We need to use our faith to recognize the presence of God in this world; the clearer we see God in this world, the greater our faith becomes in overcoming life’s mountains. Daniel saw God’s presence in the life of the priest even though before they ever exchanged a word.

The priest, like myself, comes from a world entirely different from that of Daniel’s. There is very little in common between us just like the Syrophoenician woman and Jesus. However, she had the faith to see God’s presence in Jesus despite all the obstacles between them. We don’t need more faith to overcome the obstacles in life. We just need to use our tiny faith to open our eyes and see God’s presence in this world. Daniel is learning how to do this. I think that I need to stop focusing on the gap that separates us. Instead my focus should on using my tiny mustard seed faith to see the One who brings us together to overcome the obstructing mountains in our lives.

The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.” John 6:52-55

Many years ago, I had an interesting conversation with an extremely honest person. It happened after a Bible study. He shared that he did not feel the need to be saintly. He was by no means a scoundrel or anything of this nature. To the contrary, he was quite a decent person. He was also religious. He liked to talk about God and often shared about his personal conversion experience. He never tired of describing the intensity of his conversion experience. He could name the place and day when it occurred. Even his wife admits that she was surprised over the immediate change in his attitude after that faithful day. He was actively involved in church for some time but after a while, he decided this experience was enough to ensure him that he has secured a place in heaven. Now, he goes about in life pursuing his own personal interest. He is a good father and husband. He runs his own business and all his employees like him. He is an overall nice guy. I like him. I would welcome him into my house any time. Nevertheless, I found it unsettling that the message of the gospel was reduced to one particular moment in his life. It is as if salvation is a vaccine, once you receive it, you can continue to live your life like anyone else. Often, people tell me that I can’t expect everyone to be a missionary or a priest. They are right. It would be a disaster. Missionaries and priests should come in small doses. I just wonder if there is something more to salvation than just getting our spiritual vaccine. It seems like Jesus went through a lot just to give us a passage to heaven. According to the gospel text above, Jesus informs that we need to eat His flesh and drink His blood in order to know eternal life; it will not suffice just using His name to gain entrance at the pearly gates. We need to consume His flesh and blood. What a ghastly idea!

Thankfully, this passage is not common knowledge to our youth. It is not something one randomly reads to someone. Just imagine telling our kids that they need to indulge in spiritual cannibalism to have access to eternal life. It just doesn’t sound right in any circumstance. We can appreciate the sentiments of the people who first heard this. However, the evangelist thought it was so important that he decided to register it for our reflection. It is crucial for our eternal life as Jesus said. In our churches, we made it easier to digest these tough words by linking them to the sacraments. The host and the wine seem so clean and sanitized compared to what Jesus was saying. We hardly think about the gruesome images which Jesus inflicted on his listeners. He could have appeased the disturbed minds by saying that He meant all this in the sacramental sense. Alas, He kept going on and on about the Flesh and the Blood.

We read this text with Felipe. I thought maybe he was ready for it. Understandably, he was puzzled and confused. To my dismay, I realized that I couldn’t really explain it clearly to him. It was too complex to say in a few words but it was too late. I had to think up of something. Like any experienced priest, I diverted the conversation saying that the Bible is not as easy as many think. It contains language which might seem bizarre and strange because the Truth is strange. I think a famous philosopher once said this but I can’t remember his name. Maybe Bertrand Russell? He was right. Felipe settled for my argument. He also knew that I evaded the answer. Eventually, he needs to know. It is about eternal life. It’s crucial for our spirituality. This is why I am trying to work it out here. One day, I have to say something meaningful to the children and teens in the streets about these words.

We use our flesh to experience life in this world. We discover the world through the senses of our body. Our minds can travel to space and back but our body always stays rooted in one tiny space in this vast universe. In this minute area allocated to us, we explore our reality. We come to conclusions about people and society through our bodily experiences. We also discern what is good and bad through them. Our hands and mouth are how we communicate in this world. The same mouth can say loving and hurtful things. The same hands can heal and destroy. In our bodies there is a constant battle to do one or the other. We always end up doing both.

Jesus gives us His flesh to go beyond our limited bodies. He gives us new eyes and ears to experience life from His perspective. Jesus gives us His mouth and hands. They are meant for us to do things that He did. Jesus lived His life to bring peace and reconciliation to those were forgotten and neglected in this world. He looked at things from the perspective of those who were neglected. He refused a space among high places of society. He refused to seek alliance with them even when it was crucial to save His life. He always chose the lowest place to seek those who are lost and forgotten. In the Old Testament, blood is the source of life and it was prohibited for anyone to consume blood. It was such a taboo even the early church made it a primary requirement for Gentile converts. Jesus wants His life source to run through our veins. He wants us to live our lives in the manner He did. In the early church, some took this following Jesus in His journey to a painful and torturous death. Most of us don’t have to follow this course. Thankfully. However, it doesn’t mean that we are to remain in our comfort zone.

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Mahatma Gandhi

It is strange that in this world people know instinctively that to be a Christian means to be like Christ. No one expects a Buddhist to be like Gautama Buddha nor a Hindu to be like Krishna. However, the world recognizes to be a Christian is not just a mere adherent to doctrines. It is an acceptance to become Jesus in this world. It doesn’t mean that we go around saying, “Praise the Lord” or indulging in religious talk and causes. It means that our flesh is to become like His flesh and His blood needs to fuel our lives.

All this sounds great, but it seems next to impossible. Maybe this is the first step. We recognize that it is an impossible task. Perhaps if we feed on Jesus daily, the task might be easier. Most certainly, we cannot depend on one spiritual experience to transform us into Jesus. We have to see Him everyday. He is present in this world. We can find Him in the same places as before. He did tell us that He came to heal the sick and not to be with the well. He is present today among those who need His healing touch. As we seek His face among these people, we will learn to see and live eternal life through His flesh and blood.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. ” John 6:35

“It’s always the same tiresome conversations: day in and day out.” I knew exactly what Daniel meant. I had heard these conversations just minutes before I ran into him. The teens were talking about the same things which they talked about before the Pandemic. As it happens, it hasn’t changed since we met them. There is just a very limited pool of subjects. Everything is in the shallow end. No one dares to go beyond. It is like making small talk without going anywhere with it. Unfortunately, I have been in countless situations like this. It’s my idea of hell: an eternity of pointless small talk. Daniel was tired of it. I understand. He is not alone. There are many who are tired of the same old routine everyday. It is almost inescapable because it is essential. Daniel has no other place to call home at this moment. His lot is among these homeless children and teens. In order to feel connected to them, he has to participate in this frivolous chatter. Nevertheless, he yearns for something more profound, something that would edify his soul. He desires the bread of Life.

“Maybe one day something interesting might come up and you can talk about something else,” I added. Daniel smiled. It’s a smile that can brighten up anyone’s day. No doubt he is our favorite in the streets. It’s hard to not love this charming young man.

When I arrived at the streets, Daniel had just gotten up. Things have changed now. Before he could have just walked past some restaurant and asked for leftover food. It is not the case now. He woke up too late to beg for money. It takes them a while to get enough money to buy food. Daniel was ravenous. He asked me if I could buy him a snack. I had a better idea. We went to a restaurant and ordered some real food for takeout. Then we found a quiet spot where he could eat his meal in peace. He asked me to say a blessing over the food. Just as I said, “amen”, he surprised me with a short prayer of his own. He prayed for Mary and gave thanks for the fact that we are going to have times together like before. It was clear that he was in the mood to talk but his rice and beans were waiting.

“I remember everything we did together.” These were his words in-between bites. This is the second time he has told us this since the Pandemic. We met briefly on one or two occasions in the last ten months or so. We had done a lot of things with Daniel: museums, libraries and sometimes just having coffee and cake in a small cafe. He was always careful to order the cheapest things on the menu. He was just that kind of person; always respectful and considerate of others. “What was your favorite part?” I asked. “Everything. It brought something different to my life.” Daniel was always up for something new ever since he was a young child. Maybe it is because the happiest time he had was when he travelled with his father together with his older brother, Dreyson, all over Brazil. At first, they thought that their father enjoyed their company. Later on they discovered that he was using them to beg for money. People tend to give more when there are children involved, especially when they are adorable like Dreyson and Daniel.

He asked me if he received any letters. I was quite surprised that he remembered them. I don’t why. Maybe because it seemed so long since we did this. Things we did before the Pandemic seem like a vague memory now. Amazingly, Daniel remembered all the letters. He mentioned one in particular which had dried pressed flowers. A lady from Florida thought that he would like to see the flowers that grew in her garden. I remembered that he was really impressed by them. “Those flowers looked beautiful even though they are dead.” He further impressed me by describing them in detail. Honestly, I can’t even remember the name of the person who sent them. Hopefully, she will forgive me for my forgetfulness. He wasn’t quite done yet. He added that the flowers were like the time we spent together. They are precious beautiful moments that are carefully pressed and kept in a special place in his heart. “However, ” he went on to say, “they are not dead.” He paused for a moment. He was trying to find the words. I told him that I didn’t really understand what he was trying to say. Then, he explained that those flowers are gone forever even though their beauty is preserved. However, our friendship is different. It is from God. The memories that he had were really his hope that one day God will resurrect it. Suddenly he smiled again. He found his words. This is the difference between life with God and without Him. You know that God is able to resurrect things that appear to be dead. I realized that the months of separation and isolation had given Daniel the impression that everything was gone. It’s understandable. However, now he sees that God is able to resurrect all the good things in his life. This, he concluded, like the story of Jesus. Everyone thought that he was gone forever, then God resurrected Him. With God, there is also the hope of Resurrection. Daniel had spoken. It is amazing that he got all this from a simple pressed flower. This young man has a genuine theologian in him.

Being isolated and subjected to frivolous conversations day in and day out hasn’t stopped Daniel from going beyond what meets the eye. I filled his stomach with food, more specifically rice and beans with a little piece of chicken. The Bread of Life came to him through a flower that a lady sent just as a simple gesture to share some of the beauty she enjoys in this world. Jesus used it to show us the power of His Resurrection.

When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, “Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little.” One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?” John 6:5-9

Felipe has been looking for a place to stay. I am glad that they decided it was time to move. It was because of the rats. Dealing with the scorpions and cockroaches was bad enough and now they have to deal with a nest of rats. For many reading this, it would sound like I am describing hell. For Felipe, it is his home. He used to sleep in the streets. Now, he has safe place for his family. Unfortunately, it is an abandoned storage unit; never built to house anyone. The pests were living there before families seeking shelter made it their home. The rats destroyed their clothes and food. It was the last straw for the family. Thankfully, some friends of ours have offered to help them with the rent until they are able to fend for themselves. Felipe and his wife found a place. It was two small rooms with a bathroom attached. It was going to cost them Brazilian R$900. Unfortunately, it was also infested with rats. It was the cheapest place they could find. Felipe works and earns only R$400 per month. He doesn’t earn enough to pay his rent. He is not the only one. There are families living in tents in the streets. Most of them work during the day doing odd jobs. None of them can afford to pay the rent.

The pandemic is slowing down for now. It is not the end yet. There are still about thousand deaths from Covid daily here. It used to be more so we are considering this time a slight reprieve. It gives us a chance to rekindle our relationships with the youth. I noticed something different this time. Daniel and Alex on two separate days asked if I could buy them something to eat. Previously they were able to get by in the streets without any help from us. Now, things have changed. On the way home from the streets, I stopped by in a grocery store to pick up something for dinner. I bought the same things that I usually buy but there is one big difference. I paid almost three times more than I did before the Pandemic. I made a comment to the cashier and she said that it has been getting harder to get by now. It is not just my impression. Everyone is feeling it. People used to give to the homeless the leftovers and now there is hardly enough for them.

The gospel of John states that Jesus asked Philip the difficult question, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” I sense being asked this same question in my soul. The evangelist informs us that it was a test. I hate tests. I detest the feeling of knowing that I could give the wrong answer. I wondered why Jesus thought that it was necessary to test Philip. Apparently, the apostle did well. He plainly stated that the problem was beyond their pay grade. I would give Jesus the very same answer in the present circumstances. Perhaps, Jesus was wondering where Philip would seek the solution. In our modern times, many, including Christians, would suggest the political route. They believe that we could get politicians who never bothered about the plight of these people to do something to help them. It would be easier to turn stone into bread. The apostles were aware of their limitations but they still sought for an answer. Some went around asking the people for some help and Andrew found a young lad willing to offer his little to Jesus. There is something to be said about this quiet apostle. He could see things in people that others tended to overlook. Philip diagnosed the problem and Andrew saw that perhaps the answer could be found in the most unlikely person. He was right.

Most of us would have never thought about bringing these measly offerings to Jesus. Maybe we would have kept it to ourselves, justifying that we had too little to offer and it would be best not to bother Jesus with it. However, many times great changes in history occur when people who have very little resources step up and do something. After all, we are the majority in this world. The people with resources are few and far between. Many times they want to use their resources for their own sakes. Nevertheless, our subject of interest is this little lad who had very little to offer. He is a much more interesting subject for our reflection. We tend to imagine that this little boy was someone like our own son or grandson or something of that nature. This boy wasn’t naive. Children in Jesus’ time worked from a tender age to support the family. Moreover, this boy would have had more working experience than many young adults today. This is not a criticism of young people today. It is just to say that this boy was aware how small his offering was and yet, it did not stop him from availing all he had to help feed the thousands.

Interestingly, we read this story with Felipe last Sunday but in its version in the gospel of Matthew. Felipe asked me how did Jesus perform this miracle. I told him that no one really knows. One interpretation is that Jesus just kept dividing the bread and fish and it just ended up filling up the baskets. There is also an interpretation that the people really had bread and fish with them and they thought that it was insufficient to make any impact. However, the generosity of this little boy prompted them to follow in his footsteps and donate what they had to Jesus. In the end, everyone had more than enough to eat. I asked Felipe which interpretation he liked the best. I was surprised that he chose the latter. He added that there was no doubt in his mind that Jesus could multiply the bread and the fish but the second one seems more powerful. It was not the answer I expected but I was grateful for it. It came from his life experience. It also gave me an insight on how to face the dreadful situation before us.

Felipe, Daniel and Alex don’t expect a full-scale miracle that would change their situation with a magical wave. They look for small things. They look for miracles in simple actions. Daniel and Alex were grateful that I was able to spend relatively a small amount for their meals. I sat with them as they ate and we actually had wonderful conversations. Daniel, before he ate his meal, insisted that we pray together and he gave thanks to God that we are back with them in the streets again. Felipe is not discouraged that the housing is expensive. He is happy that today he has a place to lay his head and a safe place for his children despite the rats. For him, it is a blessing every day that he is away from the streets. It has been four years since he last slept on the streets.

We don’t have what it takes to solve the immense problem before us. This is a good thing. We don’t want to have any illusions of grandeur that we are going to save the world. We are not God, nor little gods. We are people with limited resources. Having said that, it doesn’t mean we use this as an argument to remain passive. God has given us enough to create positive changes in this world. After all, it is not we who make changes in the world. Jesus is the one who does it. All we have to do is bring our offerings to our Lord’s table and He will transform them into bread of life. All of us have enough to bring something to the table. We need the faith of this young boy to see it. I really like this little lad. He brings joy to my heart.

He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. Mark 6:31-34

Something happened in the street. Actually it was really nothing. The street is like that. Not everything is what it seems. The homeless youth need some excitement in their lives. There is nothing more fun than good gossip. The brouhaha was about someone getting murdered where they were hanging out. Some version claimed that some of the youths attempted to rob and ended up killing their victim. I knew enough not to react immediately to this type of news. If you wait long enough, the facts will emerge. No one died, but some one was badly injured. However, even this was a little suspicious. The truth was, thankfully, less dramatic. There was a scuffle between two drugs addicts and one person sustained superficial injury to the head. Everyone was fine but it attracted lots of unnecessary attention. The gang which controls the area decided that enough was enough. They made a new rule. No one is allowed to use drugs within the vicinity. This works out to our benefit. The youth will definitely listen to the gang. Maybe this is the reason why everyone’s imagination was active. There was no chemical substance dulling it. However, something did happen; something unexpected and spectacular. All the homeless youth are completely vaccinated. This has never happened before.

Usually, the homeless are the last in line to receive any benefits including health care. However, the local government received a lot of vaccine requiring only one shot. They decided it would be best to administer it to the homeless population. Our kids were first in line. They were briefly oriented about the side effects before receiving their shot. Most of them did not experience anything, except a few that sensed a slight discomfort. Thankfully, this pandemic has bypassed the homeless population in our city. This is quite a significant population where we live. In our neighborhood which includes the area where the kids stay there are about two thousand homeless adults and a couple of hundred children and teens. Most recently these numbers include families too. These is a very conservative estimate; the reality is much higher. It is amazing that the most of them have received their vaccination.

I got my first shot, too. I have some immunity now and my second shot will be administered in mid September. I decided to venture out to our usual spot where we met the children before the pandemic. It has been a long since I used this phrase, “on the steps of the cathedral,” in our reflections. I stood in front of the steps for a brief moment. Now it is occupied only by the homeless. The cathedral looks a little lonely. Eventually things will be back to some sort of a new normal. As I approached the area where the teens and children were, I was feeling a little apprehensive. It has been more than a year since we have been in that location. We haven’t seen most of these young people for a long time. I wondered what the reception would be like. Just before the Pandemic, we were cultivating some deep relationship with the newer arrivals to the street. We had many good conversations and moments. However, our time with them was brief compared to the time we spent with Felipe and Bruno or even Wallace. These young people we have known for more than eight years. These new ones, perhaps, only a few months prior to the Pandemic. I wondered if we needed to start from ground zero.

To be honest, I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t afraid or anything of that nature. It is just that I am an introvert. Once I am comfortable in a situation, I tend to be more outgoing. Whenever I am faced with a new circumstance, I have a tendency to retreat within myself. I was really hoping for vestiges of the old in these new circumstances. We had carved a place for ourselves among the homeless teens. It took us a long time to build our identity among them. Now, I was afraid that this place is no more. Then I saw a familiar face. He waved to me. It was Rone. I have seen him periodically during the Pandemic. He called me over. Before I could say anything to him, someone ran up to me and gave me a big hug. Something which is unheard of in this time. No physical contact between friends for almost two years. The hug was accompanied with these words, “We are now all vaccinated so there is no danger!” Obviously, they haven’t received the best of orientations. However, the hug was most welcome. It was Kawanna. Then Erica came and hugged me. They were beaming. They asked about Mary and I told them she was making her way back to the ministry too. We were all coming back full force but slowly. It was Kawanna that was most expressive. She was the one we had started to get to know before the Pandemic. She had so much to say and managed to blurt everything in a brief moment. She wanted me to know that she missed all our conversations and just sitting and being with us. She wanted me to know that we were really special to her. She missed us and was anxious to see Mary again. She asked all kinds of questions. To be frank, I didn’t get most of it. I was too elated to pay attention to all her words. Her smile was sufficient. It was more powerful than her words. It told me that our space was still intact. Rust and moth have not corrupted it. Some might think that I was being worried over nothing. This is not entirely true. There is no guarantee that our place is always reserved for us. The streets operates on a different beat.

Our homeless youth live in a constant survival mode. They have to adapt to new situations constantly so that they don’t have the luxury to stop and reminisce about what they lost. It is quite a tragic state. They can’t afford to go to a deserted place and reflect. Perhaps, this period of Pandemic has given them this deserted place. The whole world stopped during this time. We have been in this state longer than most countries. We are still not anywhere close to the end. We are just figuring how to move forward as best as we can. However, for the past year, we have felt a little lost. Our foundations were shaken. There are many who pretend nothing has changed. For these, they will continue making the same mistakes and taking things for granted just like before. However, moments like these are meant for us to stop and evaluate our lives. They are our desert moments to ponder about Life. I guess that Kawanna might have done this. She realized that she treasured our friendship even though it was just in its initial stage. We realized that we loved our place among the homeless youth. It is the place where we sense the presence of the Good Shepherd strongly. It is the place where we feel like we are not lost sheep wondering around in search of a pastor. I know that “hug” might make some people cringe at this present moment but I have to say that it was most welcome. It wasn’t just a hug. It was divine touch. It was the Good Shepherd reminding us that we did not carve this space for ourselves. He prepared it for us. It is His space and He invited us to occupy it. He kept it for us. The evidence was in the face of Kawanna. It was spoke louder than a thousand words. It gave us the courage to return to the new normal. We are going back full force, one step at a time.

Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, ‘Who touched me?’” He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” Mark 5:30-34

I mulled over this text at the beginning of this week. I thought to myself that this will be a perfect story to share with our children. It is quite straightforward in a way. The poor woman suffered a grave infirmity which isolated her from the rest of society. According the Jewish traditions then, she was considered unclean due to her constant bleeding. She was marginalized from the rest of society due to her condition. Our children share her fate with a major difference. They were born marginalized. This is a complex word and one which is often thrown about whenever the subject of abject poverty is discussed. All the complex problems and experiences associated with it are reduced to one term, albeit an inoffensive one. We have been with our children a while now. Most of the children and teens we met when we first came here are adults now. Our relationship has gone beyond superficiality. Now, they ask profound questions deserving an appropriate answers. They want to know why they are marginalized. For first of all, they want to know it means. They don’t understand this term. I admit it is confusing. It is also strange that we have terms to designate people whose significance is foreign to the designee. When I considered explaining this term, I realized that there was a certain arrogance attached to it. I am assuming that I do not share their marginality. I have no evidence to support it. I can argue that I have a voice in society. Unfortunately, this is just an illusion. No one really listens to my voice. My friends and family might humor me. They might consider the things I say seriously. Our children and teens will say that they have this too in their lives which is true. I can claim that I have wealth compared to them of course, but nothing impressive in the eyes of the world. After all, we don’t own a home nor a car nor anything that someone can point at and say, “that’s a successful person!” I can say that I have a blog where I can express my reflections. In reality, it is only for a handful of kind-hearted faithful readers. Thank you, nevertheless, it is a joy to know that you exist. It still doesn’t prove that I am not marginalized. Before anything else, I still need to define this term, at least for myself and our young people.

The best way to do it is with a piece of paper. I tell them that a story is written in the middle of the page and the margins are left empty. Those who find themselves in the margins don’t play a role in the story written in the center. Therefore, they are invisible. This does not really help. There are many unanswered questions. Who is writing the story? The most important one, whether it is a story that is appealing enough to draw someone out of the margins into the center of it? Well, there is a story being told in every society and presently it doesn’t seem like an appealing one. It is one filled with strife and hatred. Therefore, the margins seem to be a better place. The reality is that a vast of majority of us are not part of the main story. We could be spectators cheering those in the center but spectators are not part of the story. History books will never record our existence. The historical narrative is reserved for a select group of people and most of the time, they are not necessarily the most interesting ones. The truth of the matter is that almost everyone lives in the margins. Once I asked Felipe and Edson, “Do you want to be part of the history of this world?” They just shrugged their shoulders and asked me if I heard about a new mammal that was discovered in Vietnam. Apparently, my question did not perk up their interest. It was irrelevant. They are quite content living in the margins. To be honest, I am quite happy not being in the center page of this world’s story. The margins seem to tell a more interesting story. They have the most colorful characters like this woman in the gospel.

We know nothing about her and yet we know her story. Any place in the world where there is church present, her story is told. She has touched many hearts despite being anonymous. Felipe was curious about her. Her life spoke to him because she came from his reality. Well, she came from our reality. We are both marginalized. Although, Felipe and I are not the same in our condition. I have more privileges which may or may not be blessings. However, it is sufficient to say that we are both not important to this world. This is fine as long as we know our true state. Then we don’t have to waste our time trying to get into the center of the page of society’s story. We have our story to tell and we tell it to those who are with us in the margins. However, I don’t want to give the impression that life in the margins is wonderful and great. It is usually brutal, unjust and extremely difficult for many. The woman suffered for many years. She lived in isolation and loneliness. She needed healing. This is the most important thing. We need healing, not recognition. Once she received her healing, she was ready to go back to her anonymous life. Jesus, for one, did not stand in her way.

He called her out to relay a powerful message. “Your faith has made you well.” This woman had spent most of her wealth seeking for a cure on the outside when she had the cure within her. She lost everything she possessed, maybe because it never belonged to her in the first place. Jesus gave her back something that truly belonged to her. Something she did not expect.

All she wanted was healing and then, to leave discreetly after she received it. Most likely, she thought that she was undeserving of it. This is the problem of those who live in the margins. They don’t believe that they are worthy of anything. It is hard to convince people otherwise. No amount of education nor conversation can impress someone to believe that they deserve mercy and grace. On the other hand, there are many on the other side of the spectrum too but we won’t comment on them. Jesus did not tell her that she was worthy of healing. Instead He told her to listen to her faith. It informed her to touch the cloak of Jesus. It would have sounded strange if she had expressed this opinion to others. They might have accused her of being idolatrous. To suggest that Jesus’ clothes had divine healing power would also suggest that Jesus was divine. At this stage of the gospel narrative, this would have been a preposterous concept. However, this woman’s faith told her otherwise. She believed something about Jesus that was miles ahead of all his disciples. Jesus advised her to listen to her faith. It would bring the healing that she needed to live life to the fulness in the margins. Besides there is no evidence that being in the center of life’s history is fulfilling.

The next difficult question is the one about faith. I asked Felipe and Mary at one Bible study if they could describe the nature of faith. There was complete silence. This was the best answer. It would be wrong if they gave me some cliche response. The silence meant that it is something that is real in us but we still haven’t found to words to express it in an adequate manner. It is there present in us. Sometimes, the people who suffer in the margins hear the voice of faith clearer and louder than others. Our task is to pay attention to this voice. It is not an object. It is not a theory nor a doctrine. It is something living and dynamic. Sometimes I see it more clearly in some of my friends who have given up religion and embraced the label of atheism. Despite their unbelief, they are manifesting faith in their words and actions, much more than religious people. Faith is a gift from God and when we listen to its voice, it will bring us the healing that we need in this life. It can do more than any efforts to bring us out of marginality. Faith makes our life colorful in all sorts of conditions. We need to learn to discern her sweet healing voice in our souls.

With many such parables he spoke the word to them, as they were able to hear it; he did not speak to them except in parables, but he explained everything in private to his disciples.
Mark 4:33-34

Our friend died from Covid last week. He was only 46 years old. Many of his dreams were left unfulfilled and his only nightmare came true. He left behind his wife and three children. His young ones hoped that one day their father would baptize their children. Now, everything is over. The church where he faithfully served for almost fifteen years will feel a little more empty after the Pandemic. He served in my first parish, where we met. Back then he was a seminarian who helped me on the weekends. We spent many hours over coffee. He was just eccentric enough to be unintentionally comical. We used to reminisce about his peculiar habits and have a good laugh.
Now, even that is taken away from us. He is no more here in our existence. He hasn’t been part of our lives for a long time. However, we shared many things in our history. We served in the same church, we lived in the same parsonage and we shared meals together. We have enough memories to sense his departure deeply.

During the same week, a famous TV evangelist contracted the same illness and had similar symptoms as my friend. This man was much older and definitely less ethical. In fact, he is a scoundrel. Recently, he sold bottles of water personally blessed by himself for an exorbitant price, claiming they had powers to heal and protect from Covid. Unsurprisingly, when he was ill, he rushed to the hospital instead of taking his own medicine. Even though he suffered the same symptoms as my friend, he recovered within a week. Immediately, he exploited his situation and alleged that God send him back with more miraculous powers. Nothing changed. He remains a scoundrel. One can’t help wondering.

By no means do I desire the death of this man. He is not my problem. I can’t understand why people like my friend just die so easily and scoundrels who actively seek to do harm to others go through life unscathed. I understand that I may not know everything that occurs. I am also aware that I am perhaps being judgmental. Let’s say that I want to explore a little bit. I want to shake off restraints and ask some serious questions. I am not really interested in this man. I am more interested in understanding why one had to go and the other was allowed to stay. We do believe in a God who is involved in our lives. My friend did many things to help others. He wasn’t perfect but he did desire to be saintly. Yet, it seems like life doesn’t care one way or another. It just doesn’t make any sense or perhaps there is no sense in it at all.

“No reason to get excited,” the thief, he kindly spoke
“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late” All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan

I have come far enough to be convinced that this is not a joke. At the same time, I cannot ignore these impending questions. We minister to children and young adults who are faced with the brutal realities of life. They have seen and experienced things which many people will never confront. If I am going to say anything meaningful to these young people about God, I have to confront some tough questions. Not just once or twice but every time they show their face in our pilgrimage in this life. I shared my thoughts with a friend who is a psychologist. I asked his opinion. “Maybe God has a strange sense of humor,” he said. He knew this sounded almost blasphemous but sometimes it is hard to avoid such thoughts. He believes in God and His goodness. However, there are many things which cause him to be perplexed. One can’t make head nor tails of this situation. Personally, I like the word, “perplexed”. It gives a philosophical license for us to feel confused and disturbed without throwing up hands and saying, “…..with it!”

My friend told me that some argue that God only takes those who have fulfilled their purpose back to heaven and those who remain still have a task to fulfill. This response seem unsatisfactory. It appears that God is taking away all the people who make life bearable for many and leaving behind those who make it unbearable. Again, I don’t want to urge God to remove anyone. I am just trying to understand. It just doesn’t make sense when someone who labors for overall well-being dies and one who actively cheats and lies and exploits the gullibility of ignorant people survives. Why can’t they both survive?

I asked another friend who left the Christian faith many years ago. He always identified himself as an agnostic. He gave me a surprising answer. He thought that perhaps God is so infinitely different from us that we can’t comprehend His wisdom. This is quite a strange answer from someone who has adopted his position. However, there have been some serious changes in his life. His younger brother recently discovered that he has terminal cancer and now it’s just a question of time. My friend has been finding some solace in silence and prayer even though he is unsure if he believes. Life is full of paradoxes. His major problem is that he doubts that God is actually personal. I thought maybe we are just confused about how He acts personally in our lives.

I finally asked Felipe what he thought about this. Actually, I asked him if he ever wondered about such things. These past year has taught us not to assume that our youths in the streets have the same concerns as us. They grew up in a different environment and consequently they learned to ask the same questions in a different way. He said that he just accepted life has such. He never considered God’s involvement in the death of a certain person, nor their survival for that matter. For him, life is full of chances and God is not directly involved. He feels that God plays a different role although he can’t really explain it. He doesn’t connect these life’s mysteries with God’s presence.

I consider myself a blessed person. I have friends who are nothing like Job’s friends. They don’t resort to pat answers or religious cliches. They share honestly their own doubts and perplexities. Everyone including Felipe agrees that there is no definitive answer. However, it does not mean that we should stop asking the questions. The only people who do that are atheists. They don’t believe that anyone would answer their questions. However, for us who believe in God, we have someone to whom we are able to direct our doubts. I would say that it is our bounden duty to ask these questions. There are the mysterious parables of our lives and we need someone to clarify them. Thankfully, we have Jesus as our advocate. He is the One who will stand between us and God the Father and intercede on our behalf. Something Job yearned for when he was plagued by overtly religious people. We might get an answer. I am quite doubtful. Most of the time, there is just silence. Maybe this is because the answer is already there and I just don’t see it. I am just going to keep asking. The liberty to ask such questions in itself is a sign that God is personal. If the contrary was true, then we should just continue with Life without any concern about Him. All the people I talk with on this subject, including myself, are on different parts in our journey. We each receive an answer that helps us to take a step forward. This is all we can handle for now. We just can receive what we need to take a step forward.

I told Felipe that there is no answer to cease all questions. However, we need to persist in searching for responses in these difficult circumstances. The Truth is always present and Jesus tells us that God is Truth. The more we discover His Truth, the more meaningful our lives we become. However, the answer may not be what we expect. Nevertheless, it will give us the strength to discern the divine meaning in this otherwise senseless existence.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:17

In the Name of the Father, of the Son and the Holy Spirit.

If you are a Roman Catholic or an Anglican, you will automatically say, “Amen”. It’s hard to imagine that this simple Trinitarian formula was a result of passionate and at times bitter theological debates splitting the church many times in its history. Most of the arguments seem a little confusing to us today; maybe even a little boring. It doesn’t mean that they were not important. We live in a different time and the things the early fathers thought were priority are no longer burning issues for us. None of this means that we comprehend the mystery of the Holy Trinity. We still need wrestle with it. The Trinity is a dynamic and sophisticated doctrine. Therefore, we do not want to ruin it with technical terms beyond a modern person’s comprehension. After all, it is about God. It should inspire and stir up in people a desire to know more about His mysterious character.

I thought about Felipe and the other youths. Well, the others are not quite there for me to have this kind of conversation with them. Felipe is different. He is beginning to think about God and life in a deeper manner. Every week he astonishes me with the things he comes up with. He is ready to tackle this complex issue about the Holy Trinity. In a subtle manner, I have already spoken to him about this special doctrine, albeit not explicitly. Actually, I just talked about a church with that name, “Paróquia de Santíssima Trindade” ( Church of the Holy Trinity). It was the first Anglican church we attended in this country. Mary was confirmed there too. It has an interesting story, more interesting than any theological debate about the divine economy between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

It took us a while to find an Anglican church in this city. Mainly because we weren’t familiar with the city back then. This was a time before internet or mobile phones. It was before we got married or I was ordained. We were lay missionaries then. We walked into a sanctuary that once upon a time hosted a large congregation. We were encountered a small congregation of 25 to 30, mostly elderly people. Even the priest looked ancient. His hair was completely white and he had a bushy white mustache which made him even older. I didn’t get much from of the sermon, my Portuguese wasn’t up to par back then. However, thanks to the Prayer Book tradition, the liturgy was familiar. This church was definitely not what I was used to. The Anglican churches in Singapore have large congregations on Sundays and mostly a younger crowd. I thought that this church needed an injection of life and energy. I thought that maybe I could be instrumental in doing this. I admit, I was young and arrogant back then. Hopefully I have changed. Well, I am not young anymore…

This church once had a young and vibrant congregation. There were even a few prominent members of society in this church. However, it only took a chicken bone to upset the tranquility of this congregation. A street cleaner ran into the church asking the priest to help a friend who was choking on chicken bone lodged in her throat. He dropped everything and came to her rescue. She was taken to the hospital. The priest paid for all the expenses and ensured that she had the best care. He was just like the Good Samaritan in that parable we often hear about. On the first Sunday after her full recovery, she was in church with her children. Most of the members thought that she just came to express her gratitude. She lived in the outskirts, quite a distance away from the church. Her neighborhood was extremely poor and also known for crime and violence. There was very little done to help these poor communities back then. Even the public transport to these neighborhoods are precarious. She had to take several buses to come to the church. It was a long and arduous journey for her to come to this church. Nevertheless, she was there every Sunday. Each time, she brought a child from her community with her. Soon, there were a small group of children from this poor community in the church. They mingled with the other children and friendships were formed. She was bringing new life to this church. This disturbed the older members.

An ultimatum was given to the priest. It was “them” or the “new members”. Naturally, this was presented in a socially acceptable manner. They suggested that the priest organize a work in the poor community instead of making this woman drag her children to the church. They claimed that they were concerned for her financial well-being. The priest was a wise man. He took their suggestion and started a work in the community. He also got some members to help pay for the bus fares for the woman and the children to come to church every Sunday. Eventually, the disgruntled members left. It was a large exodus. The congregation was reduced to a small number with the presence of children from the poor community. The members that remained joined the priest and followed the guidance of the Holy Spirit. They went to the poor neighborhood weekly to visit with the families there. This handful of people I saw on my first Sunday were these people who worked many years in the community. They made sure all these children never felt like outsiders in the congregation. We were introduced to these people. All these people were saints. Their acts of love and kindness could fill volumes. The few young people in the church were formally from the poor neighborhood, including a pair of sisters. They told us the story of Mrs. Elizabeth; she was an elderly woman who spoke Portuguese with very strong American accent. She had been living in Brazil for almost fifty years. Her husband was the priest who started all this.

Unfortunately, he died in a tragic car accident not long these events. His widow, Elizabeth, decided to remain in Brazil and work in the community. It was common practice in the poorest community to keep the children locked in the house all alone while the parents were out working. The streets was too dangerous. There were no daycare services then. Little children were usually left alone in a small tiny space without anything to entertain them. The children were mostly unstimulated. Mrs. Elizabeth and a group of ladies from the church changed this. They visited these children every week. Mrs. Elizabeth used to stand outside by the window and talk to them in her limited Portuguese. They might not have understood everything she said but her love and affection were fluent. She embarked on a quest to teach them English. These little children in the worst neighborhood of São Paulo were getting private lessons from a native speaker. The children she taught learned to love her weekly presence. She opened their hearts and minds to a world that they never knew existed. The teachers who shared us this story were two of the children on the other side of the window. These sisters got an education through Elizabeth and eventually they went to college and became teachers. They started doing for others what Elizabeth had done for them.

Once Mary asked the priest of the church what he taught was the essential task of the Church in this city. He said, “We have to learn how to manifest the presence of Jesus in this world.” These weren’t just words. This church truly manifested the Spirit of Jesus in the community where they ministered. I walked into the church thinking I would change it. I ended being transformed by these saintly people. They helped me not to judge a church by appearances. This, by no means, was not an empty church. It was one completely occupied by the Divine Trinity. Anyone who enters this church won’t need to be convinced of the Holy Trinity. They can see the divine economy manifested in the lives of the members.

I told Felipe this story and he understood it. I am glad he did. His son is going to get baptized there once the pandemic is over. He wanted to baptize his son earlier and we are to be the godparents. Unfortunately, the church refused to do it because we are not members of their brand of Christianity. I talked to the present priest of Santíssima Trindade and he said that he would be delighted to baptize Felipe’s son, well maybe now, even his daughter. The church has changed now. There are more young people. It has grown in numbers but thankfully, it is still vibrant and spirit-filled like the first day when we visited this church.

“When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father, he will testify on my behalf. John 15:26

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability. Acts 2:4

Today we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost and we commemorate the day of the Holy Spirit by reading the gospels in different languages. It is our liturgical attempt to relive that glorious moment. It gives us a feeling of excitement and diversion. I am sure that the first disciples would have never used these words. Maybe they might have said confusing or even disturbing. Too many radical things had occurred in a short span of time. There was too much to process for any human being. They knew that Jesus was unique and special. He had changed everything in this world. They also knew that it was something that needed to be shared. At the same time, they were clueless on how to communicate everything they knew to the world. Therefore, it is not surprising that the first sign of the presence of Holy Spirit was the freeing of their tongues to break all barriers between humanity. The disciples were relieved from the burden: the weight of knowing the answer without being able to express it. Now, the Holy Spirit has overcome this obstacle. We can share the Answer to Humanity’s deepest and most profound question. The Holy Spirit has revealed that the words will come to us to communicate that Jesus is the Answer!

Once Mary and I were sitting on the steps talking with the youth when a complete stranger came to us and said, “The answer to all your problems is Jesus.” The children politely agreed and then waited for the person to leave. Immediately they continued with their conversation as if nothing had happened. In reality, nothing did happen. The person merely pronounced some empty words. She gave us an answer without knowing the question. No one doubted her sincerity neither did anyone pay attention to her message. Nothing was communicated. She perhaps believed that she was fulfilling her religious obligation. Nevertheless, Jesus did not send His disciples to fulfill a religious duty. He sent them out to heal the souls of people who were desperately seeking for the Answer to their soul’s deepest longing. The first step in healing is to listen to those who are suffering.

I am always amazed in the gospels the number of times when Jesus asked someone who was blind or lame, what they desired. I thought that it was obvious that they wanted to be healed. However, Jesus did not assume this. He did not think that he knew their’s deepest longing. He wanted them to express it. In a way, it prepared them to receive the healing. The early disciples knew this. They knew that having the answer alone was not enough. They needed to know the deep existential question that plagues the soul of every individual before they could administer the healing. Without knowing this, there is nothing significant to communicate. It would be a grave mistake to assume to know the question. No one can know the questions of another person’s soul except God’s spirit as St Paul explains in the verses above. Before we open our mouths to proclaim the answer, we need to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit first in order to know the question.

Recently Bruno and I were having a light hearted conversation about our strange habits. I told him that I have a habit of falling asleep on the public bus. Once I take a seat, I go into deep sleep. There were countless times that I missed my stop and ended up in the bus terminal being woken up by the driver. Bruno laughed and shared that he does the same thing. He told me that when he was young, he loved riding on the public bus with his mother for this very reason. He found the rumbling of the bus’ engine comforting and it never failed to soothe him to sleep. He added that many times his mother would take this opportunity to leave him on the bus and go home without him. He said that he always found his way home much to the chagrin of his mother. She would always make excuses that she completely forgot to wake him. He said that he knew that she was just trying to get rid of him. He was smiling when he shared this. It was his funny story even though it was extremely poignant. Bruno did not want me to feel sorry for him. He wanted me to know that he was able to look at these things he suffered and be able to laugh at them. However, he wasn’t making light of his harsh reality. Our youths do not have the luxury to avoid their brutal past. However, he wanted to communicate something to me. He knew that I would understand. The truth is that I will never understand the kind of rejection which he has suffered. There is a great gulf between our life experiences. I grew up in a home where my parents would wait for me at the bus stop everyday. If I was a minute late, my father would go out looking for me. This was the environment in which I grew up. I did not deserve nor choose it. It just happened. Bruno did not choose his environment either. None of our children chose to be homeless. There is a social schism between us but the answer to our existential question is still the same. This has brought us together.

We convinced of the answer. This is why we are here. This is why we call ourselves Christians. Like the early disciples, we know that we cannot just sit on this. The Answer compels us to share it to everyone. Needless to say that we realized that going around saying Jesus is the Answer is just not going to cut it. We need to know the questions that our children are asking about themselves and their existence in order to speak the Answer meaningfully to them. Sometimes, it is tough just to formulate the question. I realized that our children do not know how to ask their own existential questions. They have gone through so much in their lives that everything seems confusing and painful. They need the Holy Spirit to free up their tongues so that they can express themselves clearly. Perhaps our greatest evangelistic task is not going around trying to impose an answer but rather to help them understand that there is gentle Spirit who will give them the ability to formulate the ultimate question in their souls. Maybe the Spirit is working through us. Each time they share a story from their lives, they are offering us a little piece for us to put together so that we will understand the deep questions of their souls. It is possible but we will never know. We just have to wait and pray until the Spirit opens our eyes and hearts to understand the questions so that we can help them discover the Answer.

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:9-12

I used to read these verses and say to myself, “Yes, I got this! These are beautiful and necessary words.” Then I would go on with life without giving it a second thought. I imagined that knowing this commandment was the same as living it. It is because I lived a comfortable and sheltered life where everyone around me was just like me. I was never challenged. Reading these verses in the streets among the homeless youth has changed everything. Suddenly these words have taken a whole new perspective. They have become one of the tough and difficult sayings of Jesus.

If I told our youth that they must love that person who made a snide remark to them in the way Jesus loved them, it would create a gulf between them and me. They would shake their heads and say, “Stephen doesn’t understand our world.” If they don’t think that I understand their reality, then naturally I can’t say anything relevant to them. However, this is an important commandment. It contains the good news for the youth. Nevertheless, I do feel a little embarrassed repeating these words. I lack the kind of authority Jesus had. It is better to read these words with them. Let them see for themselves that these are really Jesus’ words. After all, He knows more than anyone else about the true nature of this world. He met many egocentric and ungrateful people in His life on earth. He heard many flattering words about Him that meant nothing. He wasn’t fooled by the enthusiasm of the multitude. He even said that they were untrustworthy. Furthermore, He was aware that his close friend was going to betray him unto a certain cruel death, yet He never faltered in His love for him. He saw through the hypocrisy of the religious leaders and their murderous hearts. Yes, Jesus was completely aware of the presence of evil in this world. Despite this, His final advice for living a joyful life in this world is to love another as He loved us. This is what He discovered in His life on earth. It’s His legacy to us.

Nietzsche, a notorious enemy of Christianity who also was once a student of theology, commented that there is only one true Christian in this world and He died two thousand years ago. He wasn’t mocking when he said this. He was being honest. He thought that it was virtually impossible to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. Only Jesus was able to be Jesus and the rest of us are pretty sad in comparison. Maybe we need to think about this first. Can we ever love anyone in the way Jesus loves us? If not, then it would be rather cruel of Jesus to set such a high standard that no one could attain. On top of that, He made it necessary for our joyous living in this world. We know that Jesus wouldn’t do such a thing. Therefore, there must be answer or at least several answers for living out this commandment. Ignorance is not one of them.

I have a dear friend from seminary who is a Lutheran pastor. He began his pastoral ministry as a prison chaplain. He ministered to people who perpetrated the most heinous crimes, the kind which would make it easy for us to despise them. My friend had to face these people every day. He was Jesus’ ambassador to these people. He was challenged to love the unlovable. Everyday my friend confronted people who were unrepentant of what they did. Every day he fought against hatred. He is a loving person by nature, even then it is hard not to have anger and hatred in our hearts when we meet people who don’t care about another human being. He served out his time as a chaplain. It is safe to say that there were no major breakthroughs. None of the incarcerated become a saint as a result of my friend’s ministry. Nothing spectacular happened except for one simple miracle. My friend came home each day free from hatred. It constantly taunted him but was not able to consume him. He was able to see these men as human beings despite their monstrous crimes. He was able to see the image of God in them even though it has been clouded by their sin. He hoped that in the brief moments he spent with each one of them, they knew that he saw them as human beings and not as monsters. It was all he could do. It was enough. It helped him persevere in this dark place and not succumb to its darkness.

My friend would tell me that he did not intentionally try to fulfill this commandment when he ministered there. He tried his best to deal with these men. The truth is that in this extreme circumstances, we tend to understand the deep meaning of love. As Christians, we believe that the presence of Jesus in this world was to show us how to become truly human beings reflecting the image of God. All of us wear a distorted image of God. Jesus was able to perceive our true nature: the way God sees us. The only way He could see us as who we are supposed to be is through Love. If we only see distorted and wicked humans around us, then we would end up in despair. However, if we are able to see people the way Jesus sees them, then we can see Hope even in the most hopeless situation. This commandment is really for us. It is for our joy.

Thankfully, most of us don’t have to deal with the kind of people that my friend confronted on a daily basis. Maybe some reading this minister in the prison system. These can appreciate what my friend experienced. Our homeless youth deal with murderers and corrupt and violent police apart from mean spirited people. The rest of us are fortunate to be in a comfortable space. There is nothing wrong about this. Being in a so-called safe place doesn’t mean that we are immune to the cycle of hatred being propagated in this world. When we turn on the T.V., we see news that demonizes and dehumanizes people who are different from us. There is nothing being reported to help us see God’s image in the people. To the contrary, these reports serve to promote hatred. We need to stop the influx of hatred in our lives. A good start is to stop allowing hatred to invade any space in our lives. The commandment of Jesus is hard enough without all the negative input. We don’t need to hear about the nasty things humans do to each other hundred of miles away or even in our own neighborhood to make it more difficult.

This commandment is about us living our lives in this world. All we need to do is to step out of our homes and we meet people who have succumbed to hatred and bitterness. Sometimes they belong to our families. Other times we meet them by chance saying hurtful words. They might even be in our religious communities. Jesus did not ask us to change them. We don’t have that capability. He just does not want us to succumb to the hatred that is out there. This is not an easy commandment. It was never meant to be easy. We cannot honestly say that we can fulfill it. We can struggle with it each day in this world filled with hatred. It is a daily endeavor. The reward is at the end of each day as we can truly appreciate how much Jesus loves us because despite our frailty. He still believes that we can reflect God’s image in this world. This is our joy and strength to flourish in this world.