Holy Week in Quarantine Time

Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.-Matthew 26:5

The church bells rang on this Sunday morning. There won’t be any blessings of the Palms; no procession, no dramatic mood change in the liturgy. The doors of the churches were shut with a sign, “Closed until the Pandemic subsides.” Definitely the very first Palm Sunday of this kind. I hope that it is the last. This is going to be a strange Holy Week. All my life, this week has been a week of communal meditation and reflection on the Passion of Christ. This time we are confronted with something completely new. We are restricted and separated from each other. Suddenly, we realize how much we need each other’s presence and touch. Perhaps, it might help to bring a deeper understanding of the Passion. This is our Hope at least. We desire something good to come of all this.

The deafening silence of quarantine has hovered over our city for two weeks now. At first, I wanted to believe that all this was just an exaggeration. It turned out to be wishful thinking. The numbers of death in this city have been steadily growing. We are heading towards the 300 mark and less than a month ago it was just one person. Everyone is becoming aware that this ominous silence is going to be around for a while. The numbers of the infected are rising. Thankfully, the people haven’t panicked yet. The grocery stores are still stocked with food. We have everything we need for our bodies but our souls are yearning for our loved ones. They yearn for those who make our lives rich and fulfilled. The separation is painful even though it is necessary. Not many can stand it. Last weekend, some people ventured out of their homes. They wanted to pretend that everything was going to return to normality. They wanted to escape the tediousness of waiting but unfortunately, by doing so, they risked their lives and lives of their loved ones. However, I understand how they felt. They wanted to get a breath of fresh air. Then the numbers kept going up. The false prophets who said that this was nothing but a mere cold are exposed. Although, just this once, I wished they were right. We might as well accept it. It is time for us to walk in the valley of the shadow of death. Once, it would have been easy to say that we will fear no evil. Alas, times have changed. We can see death clearly. The disciples told Jesus at the Last Supper that they would be with him until the end. Then, when they saw death approaching, they fled.

The disciples could have left out this part in the gospels. After all, they were the ones who related the events to the respective authors. Nevertheless, they wanted everyone to know that they fled. They were not cowards neither were they unfaithful. To judge them as such would be unfair. They were merely humans like us. We want to flee when we are faced something dangerous or hopeless. The disciples fled but Mother Mary had no where to turn except to remain at the foot of the Cross. She had no where to go except to be with her son. The disciples fled but they carried with them a strong sense of defeat and guilt. We can never truly flee a situation. We always carry something heavy and burdensome in our hearts with us. In our case, we confined in our apartments. Our children and teens are in the streets. It seems like we are fleeing from a danger but at the same time abandoning the ones we love.

The disciples of Jesus desired to defend Jesus to the death. It was their fervent plan. One even made the effort by striking one of the arresting party that came to apprehend Jesus. However, the Lord put an end to it. He does not work through violence. The disciples were disarmed spiritually. They were stripped of all their resources. They had nothing else to offer to Jesus. Rather than standing by and feeling impotent, they decided to flee. They did not realize that Jesus did not really expect them to do anything. He knew that they would flee, after all, why wouldn’t they? He wanted to flee from the situation Himself if it was possible.

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.” Matthew 26:42

Besides, what could the disciples possibly have done? Their presence did not have any pragmatic value. Jesus deliberately chose his disciples who had very little influence in society. They did not have the necessary connections to put in a good word for Jesus. They were absolutely irrelevant to the authorities of their time. Their plea would have not changed anything. In other words, they would have been useless to the Lord at His most vulnerable moment. They knew this and this is why they fled. They did not know if there was something else they could have done.

This is the question we need to ask ourselves in this time. Is there something we can do that will make some concrete difference especially in this time we find ourselves? The whole world is in a melancholic state. The aftermath is going to laborious. It takes a couple of seconds to destroy something. Rebuilding or contracting something new takes a long time. We need to have the right foundation. Do we have the word to contribute to this foundation? We need to ask ourselves this tough question if not we might be tempted to flee like the disciples. They fled because they felt that they were useless to Jesus. They went back to Galilee, maybe back to fishing or whatever they were doing before they followed Jesus. We have more creative ways to flee today. We might become more religious and indulge end times theories that detach us from being a concrete presence in the world. Maybe even we might even venture into fatalism and hide in our respective corners. Some might be tempted to pretend nothing has changed and everything is back to normal. Well, something has definitely changed. We are made aware that we can’t control everything in a concrete way. We are made to realize that all these powerful kingdoms constructed over the years are being torn down by one microscopic virus. Therefore, we need to seek the answer to the tough question so we can have the courage to stay and face the Cross.

There was only one thing Jesus asked of His disciples during this time. He asked them to sit and pray with Him. They were unsuccessful at this task. Regardless of this, they did hear Jesus praying. They related it to us. Jesus prayed knowing that His circumstances would not change. He prayed so that his fears would not get the better of Him. He never got any answers from God. Maybe He did not need any. He knew what He needed to do. When He found his friends dozing off, He chastised them. Not because their prayers would made a difference for Him. He wanted them to be prepared. Perhaps, they would have stayed if they had prayed with Jesus. We will never know. However, one thing we do know is that any answer relevant we can provide will come through prayer and listening.

The disciples revealed their failure so that we won’t follow in their footsteps. We don’t have to flee but we need something to help us to stay at the foot of the Cross. Maybe we will discover it if we don’t fall asleep like the disciples. Jesus is calling us to watch and pray with Him. Let’s be attentive to His words.

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Waiting for the True Words

Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” John 11:43b-44

“I am not afraid of death.”* This is the title of a song by a famous Brazilian singer, Gilberto Gil. Death, the lyrics tell us, is after the fact but dying is a different story. This; he fears the most. Dying happens when you still know, feel, sense and dread what you are losing. The song was well-received a few years ago. It expresses how we all feel. Perhaps, most of us in regular times avoid giving much though to it. Unfortunately, we find ourselves living in strange times and death is very much the topic of the day.

An awkward silence reigns in this city of 12 million. The streets are almost empty and those who graze its sidewalks do it out of necessity. Some of them work to help others survive but most of them are in the streets because they have to work to survive. Then there are the homeless. The others avoid all contact with anyone but the homeless still say, “Hi”. They miss the way things were too. Besides these few souls, the streets are deserted. I live in the center where it is always vibrant and full of life. Today, it looks like how it does on Christmas Eve, except there is no celebration of life. We just have the silence. I miss the noise. I miss the random drunk man singing out of tune in the early mornings. I miss the cars passing blaring the worst possible selections of music. I miss signs of life. The quiet brings with it a sense of despair and melancholy. Although, we are aware that this quarantine is just a temporary thing, it touches something deep within our humanity. It has made us conscious of something. Everything we thought to be stable and sound appears to crumble down. We don’t know what to expect. We can’t exactly say what we want to expect.

I did not send these prophets, yet they have run with their message; I did not speak to them, yet they have prophesied. -Jeremiah 23:21

Sad to say in times like these, there is an abundance of false prophets. They prophesy without listening to God. They speak for Him without being appointed to be His spokesperson. They have the same message of the false prophets in the biblical times. They announce the same lies. They say everything is going to be alright because this is what we want to hear. There is nothing essentially wrong with this message. Eventually, everything will pass. However, some people will die. Some will lose their loved ones. Some will never forget the callous words spoken during these times. Some will always remember how others have disregarded the safety of their vulnerable friends and families. It is not going to be alright for them. Besides, it is not the content of their message that makes them false prophets. They claim to speak for God where as God is a God who is near. He will speak to our hearts directly. The problem is not that God is silent. We have been letting others do the listening for us. These are the false prophets. They claim to listen to God for us. We need to listen His voice ourselves. He is a God who is near. His words are powerful and living. False prophets give easy answers but it is not a time for easy answers. It is a time for waiting and listening intently to the still small voice of our Creator.

It is also an amazingly appropriate time to read this story of Lazarus from the gospel above. I was not able to reflect this text in the streets during my interaction with the children. There was no direct contact with them this week. We are confined in our apartment like most people around the globe. We had plans to go to the streets. We wanted to make sure that our children and teens were doing alright. Well, at least, we wanted them to know that we are thinking and praying for them. As far as we know, nothing has been done to help homeless adults and children. Since this is a contagious disease, sending them to a shelter is not an answer. There hasn’t been any adequate answer for the welfare of the homeless because no one has even considered the question. There are just too many things happening. The homeless are usually ignored in regular times and nothing has changed for them in a time of crisis. This is just the sad reality. We wanted to go to the streets to make sure that they understood what was happening. Unfortunately, Mary was not feeling well. We decided to play it safe and quarantined ourselves. Then, the city officially shut down a few days after. We are separated from our children and the children are separated from us. One of the teens got a hold of cell phone and called us to see if we were okay, especially Mary. He told us that some managed to find places to stay temporarily. Some are on the move constantly and others are just sleeping in the streets. In a way, the children are freer than us. They can go where they want. Although it comes with a price, they are also exposed to great danger. On the other hand, we have lost our freedom but we are safe relatively speaking from diseases and dangers just like Lazarus when he was in the tomb. The dead have nothing to fear so to speak. We are safely entombed in our apartments but we desire to be free and living.

I never thought to imagine reading this story from the perspective of Lazarus. Needless to say, Lazarus was literally dead but we are just experiencing detachment from the life that we lived. We are separated from the ones we love. We can’t go to places that we enjoy. We can’t even get a book from the library. Everything we did that made life rich and pleasant for us is out-of-bounds. We still have technology to connect us but it is not the same. It is unlike being connected to something that is at once real and tangible. I hear the voice of Wanderson and Felipe whenever they leave messages on our phone. They can only say simple things because they are not accustomed to communicate through a phone. They need someone to be in front of them to warm up and talk openly. For now, our conversation is limited to the basic, “how are you and I hope you are fine” followed by an awkward silence. It seems like this silence is haunting us constantly.

Death separated Lazarus from his family. He was no longer part of their daily routine. He was no longer a presence. We have not experienced this yet. We just are separated. We are given a foretaste of what it is like to be dying. We cannot be with the ones that made our lives here joyful and rich. We are waiting for a word that would end all of this. However, it is not a word from the authorities that is going to end this sense of despair that is creating a barrier between us in this city. We need to hear a word that will bring life to our soul. We need to hear the word that Lazarus heard as he slept in the tomb. We want to hear the voice of our Lord calling us to come forth. It will the voice that will give us the courage to face what is in store in the aftermath.

Lazarus’ soul was quickened not because some else told him what the Lord said to him. He heard the voice of Jesus for himself. I think that we have been listening to countless of voices screaming at us in this world. They have been pulling us in all directions. Now, silence has shaken the foundations of these babble. We might be tempted to avoid this uncanny quietness. It might us face things about ourselves or our fragilities that we pretended did not exist. Maybe it is making us deal with our life or the the lack of it. Regardless of this risk, we need this calmness. We need to learn how to listen again to the voice that is going to give us the power to live our life and live it abundantly.

Lazarus stepped out of the tomb a renewed person. He knew that death cannot take away what eternity has given to him. It had given him the strength and courage to be a testimony to those around him to live their lives to the fullest. This is our hope as we sit and wait for a word from the Lord.

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In Spirit and Truth

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!” The woman said to him, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.”- John 4:16-20

I am not sure which is worse; being in an unhappy relationship or being alone. Our children and teens understand this dilemma more than us. They are confronted with it all the time. They ran away from their unhappy families and found themselves all alone in the streets. They were free from oppression but loneliness was too heavy a burden to bear. They have to find a way to be part of a group even if it meant doing something immoral to become part of it. Anything is better than being left all alone in this world. In the meantime, they are aware that the companionship that is also fragile and temporal. It is based on a common desire to be connected with another fellow being. It is not a strong enough thread to hold them together. The possibility of a rupture is always present. Loneliness always plagues them. They use drugs to forget its reality, but they do not help. They sense their isolation even more when they are high. Loneliness never abandons them. It is not just a reality for our children. It is something we all share as human beings; the fear of being alone.

The Samaritan woman from the gospel text tried desperately to overcome her loneliness. Jesus revealed that He knows that she had been married five times and now she was a concubine. He wasn’t trying to shame her; neither was the woman offended by his statement. To the contrary, she was even more amazed that Jesus spoke to her. She was ostracized by her community for many reasons. For a Jewish person only one was sufficient. She was a Samaritan. Jewish people did not have anything to do with Samaritans. Despite this, Jesus wanted her to give Him a cup of water. Sharing a cup was quite intimate back then. They wash the cup like we do today. It was a common cup and one she most likely drank from. Jesus wanted to share this cup. Perhaps, He wanted her to be part of His reward.

“whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.”- Matthew 10:42

Besides being a Samaritan, this woman was also marginalized from her community. She could not draw water from the well at the regular time. She had to go when there was no one around. She did not expect a Jewish person to be sitting by the well, let alone talk to her. Jesus mentioned her past to let her know that neither her ethnicity nor her reputation were going to hinder Him from talking to her.

It appears as if she drastically changed the subject from her past to a religious topic. This is not the case. She did not change the subject. It was Jesus who did it. He recognized something noble in her. Something, perhaps others have overlooked. She was a person who did not fear facing the Truth even when it wasn’t favorable to her. It did not necessarily mean that she was going to change her lifestyle. This is a misconception. People think that just mere knowledge of the Truth will transform the person. We have people who know right from wrong and yet deliberately commit the most detrimental actions. Unfortunately knowing the Truth does not automatically erase loneliness. It doesn’t free us from the fear of living a life in isolation and anonymity. These were the fears behind this woman’s decision. It is not just her. It is something that all of us are very capable of doing. She did not marry five men and then settle to being something less for the sake of pleasure. It was because she did not want to be alone and forgotten in this world. Ironically her desperate actions consequently isolated her from the rest of the world. Something our children and teens can understand. If Jesus was in the streets where we minister, He would most likely ask for a glass of water from them even though He knows that it might not come from the most hygienic source.

Jesus showed the woman that He was willing to receive what she had to give Him, even if the rest of the world thought that it was scandalous and even ceremonially unclean. He wanted to show that He understood her. He knew everything about her and He understood her and accepted what she had to offer. This opened the door for her to share her deepest concern. She wanted to know about the Truth that would liberate her. She did not change the subject of the conversation. She brought it to a deeper level. She wanted to know if her worship could fulfill the void she sensed in her soul. She wanted to know the right answer to overcome the loneliness that had plagued her all her life. Maybe she thought the answer was found in the Truth spoken in the Law. To be honest, the answer that Jesus gave did not make anything clearer.

“The hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” -John 4:23-24

I searched for the answer perhaps through our interactions with the children this last week. We had many pleasant and enriching encounters. However, they did not make this particular subject clearer to me. Then, on Saturday, I received a call from Felipe. He ran out of money for food. There was an emergency. One of his wife’s children injured his foot and they had to rush to the hospital. Thankfully, it wasn’t too serious; a couple of stitches resolved the problem. Nevertheless, taxi costs money and all their limited resource was depleted. Thankfully, we have more than we need so we were able to share. We decided to meet near my home. It was a nice day. Mary was under the weather due to a weak cold. We thought that with the present state of events it would be best if she rested at home. I asked Felipe if he wanted to go on a walk. He was more than willing. On the weekends, a highway bridge running along the center is closed to cars and it becomes a pedestrian walk way. It is about two miles long. We walked on it. It was great to have this time just to talk about anything that came into our minds. Recently, Felipe has developed this intense desire to learn and improve himself. He was asking me question after question. One was of an ethical nature. He asked me if we saw someone leading a self-destructive lifestyle should we confront them with the Truth? I honestly told him that I am not sure if we have the ability to convince anyone to do anything. Each person decides for themselves what they believe to be the best. Since we are not them, we cannot comprehend their reasoning and help them see things as we see it. Felipe pondered briefly on what I said and he responded, “It is better for them to come to the realization themselves.” I agreed. Then he asked what is our responsibility towards them. It was a difficult question to give an adequate answer. Maybe the answer is the answer Jesus gave to the Samaritan woman. We need allow the God who is Spirit to draw us unto Himself so that our lives will permeate with the Grace of the Spirit and the Truth. I actually said these exact words to Felipe. He understood. I think that I understood too. God used this conversation to make things a little clearer for me.

Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman not to remind her of her own faults. He made it very clear to His disciples that He did not come to condemn but to bring healing. This does not come by pointing out the symptoms of illness. It comes from addressing the deep rooted desire of all people. The woman sensed in Jesus the answer she was seeking. It wasn’t expressed in His words. It was Him. His acceptance of her and His desire to share her cup despite her being a Samaritan, revealed to her that perhaps the answer she is looking for is open and available to her too. Jesus worshipped the Father in Spirit and Truth and this opened the eyes of this lost and lonely soul to communion with the One who will never abandon or reject her.

After my walk with Felipe, I felt that I participated in true worship even though I know that the next day I won’t be able to go to church because of the present pandemic. Regardless of this, God still met me where I was.

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Gazing into the Temple

Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.” Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” John 3:1-3

I used to evangelize to random people in the streets. It sounds strange for me to say it now. It is strange even to imagine that this was ever true. Alas, it was so. I never felt comfortable doing it. I never listened to my reticence. Instead I thought that perhaps I was being too embarrassed about the gospel. I summoned up all my courage and approached a complete stranger. It would begin with a casual conversation and then I would conduce my interlocutor to the topic of being “born again”. Most people were kind and obliging. They would listen and sometimes they would contribute to the conversation. Most of the time, I was the one talking. Then I went back to church and reported that I accomplished something significant. However, now I am questioning myself. Maybe I was just abusing the good nature of many people. They sensed my sincerity and they kindly accommodated me. Today, I see people going around the streets doing the same thing as I did before. There is a difference now. Now, I am aware that the questions dealing with our spirituality are very personal and intimate. They touch the very core of our existence. It is not something an healthy person should discuss with a random stranger. It must be handled with great care and sensitivity. When someone opens up their souls to us regarding their deepest inner struggles or doubts, it demands a commitment on our part. We need to understand that they are inviting us into a sacred place. Unless, we are willing to commit, we should perhaps think twice before we talk about God. Evangelism is not about spouting out religious jargon. It is a relationship.

The gospel text above is perhaps the first recorded incident of an evangelistic conversation. The setting is one which is private and intimate. Nicodemus was a religious man in the positive sense. He genuinely desired to know God. This is why he sought Jesus. He discovered something remarkable in Him that made him feel comfortable to share the concerns of his innermost being. He perceived that Jesus presented something new and vibrant. He desired what Jesus possessed. However, he wanted a religious answer from our Lord. He thought that it was a matter of following certain doctrines and rituals. This is the very essence of our human spirituality. We desire a deeper spiritual life but we want it to be something that we can control. However, whatever Jesus is offering is beyond our dominion. We cannot demand it. We cannot attain it through our religiosity. It comes to us as the Holy Spirit desires. It is given to us through grace.

“The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)

It is not something that happens with our words or rituals. An excellent preacher is not going to make the Holy Spirit act. This is something as a young Christian I knew intuitively and yet rejected in practice. I believed that my persuasive words could bring about an inner change in someone. I reduced everything to a simple prayer which I desired my interlocutor to pray. However, a prayer is not going to force the Holy Spirit to transform souls. God’s spirit will decide the right time and place to bring new birth to a person’s soul. Nicodemus was amenable to become part of this creation. He spoke to the very Person who ushered this New Era and even then, Nicodemus had to wait. Something needed to occur in his soul. We will never know what exactly. It is different with each person. We know that Nicodemus did not become a follower of Jesus there and then. It was just not his time. However, the Holy Spirit was working in him, if not, he wouldn’t have come to see Jesus. On our Lord’s part, He allowed the Holy Spirit to do His work in Nicodemus’ life. He did not force him to say a prayer or subject him to some religious rite to hasten the process.

There was something special in Jesus that drew Nicodemus to Him. In the Gospels, the authors call this authority. Unlike the authorities of the world which generate fear or demand submission, Jesus attracted people unto Himself. People who would normally be rejected by the religious and civil powers flocked to our Lord. Something was different in Him, or rather, He saw something special in them. They sensed this in their souls. Jesus was able to penetrate into their deepest being and perceived the Temple of God present in each of their souls.

I recently learned the meaning of a word that I thought I knew all my adult life. I used it frequently in my writings without really understanding its essence. The word is “contemplation”. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it means “entering into the temple”. Whenever we contemplate on something or someone, we are going beyond the superficial and discovering the divine manifested in the person or object. This simple discovery I made has given me new vocabulary for my understanding of evangelism. I used to feel embarrassed to share the gospel to people because I was trying to construct a temple in their souls with my words. It is not my place to do this in anyone’s soul. However, I have had encounters where I was able to talk meaningfully about God’s love where there was a sense of mutual spiritual edification. In these instances, I first recognized the presence of the divine in the person and consequently, the person opened up the conversation to the subject of God’s love.

When Jesus spoke to people, His words quickened in their souls the awareness of a temple present in them. Jesus saw it first before he could address it. If I want to speak the gospel into the lives of people, then I need to contemplate God’s presence in the lives of our children. In a way, I have been inadvertently doing it. I am able to see the divine present in them which has been a great source of encouragement and renewal for me. However, sometimes we meet someone who is so distraught and damaged by the circumstances of their lives that it is hard to see beyond the superficial. Rosalie is a perfect example of such. Recently we shared about her with our friends. A very serious question was posed, “How do you communicate the gospel to someone like her?” I did not have a certain answer then. However, this week, she gave us a glimpse of one.

She came out of the Cathedral looking a little relieved and animated. This is quite rare for this young adult. She suffers from array of issues and mental illness is definitely one of them. Consequently, she is constantly vacillates between violent outbursts of anger and profound sadness. Almost everyone knows that she has to deal with some profound challenges and most of the teens are tender towards her, albeit there are a few who torment her too. She seldom converses with us. In fact, most of the time she just flat-out ignores us. However, recently she complained to Mary that we never give her any attention. She is definitely not an easy person. Despite this, we do feel strongly for this young woman. She is a lost and lonely soul in this harsh world. She has become someone that most likely she never desired to be. Her circumstances and situations have shaped her personality. Today, however, she looked relieved as she stepped out fo the church. She came out and told us that she prayed the rosary. She explained how it was said to Mary and then asked her if she ever prayed the Rosary. Mary admitted that it was not part of her spirituality but told her that I did it once in a while. Rosalie just wanted to tell us this and then she left. The rest of the week she fluctuated between anger and tears.

There are so many things happening in Rosalie that it is hard to see the temple pf God dwelling in her. We are always left astounded by what is happening on the outside. However, we will never been able to say something meaningful to her until we are able to see the divine present in her life. This cannot be achieved in a single encounter. It will happen when the Holy Spirit moves. Until then, there is one thing for us to do. We will: learn to contemplate on her life. The Temple of God dwells in her and the Holy Spirit will open the doors for us to see the beauty of this young woman. Then she will be ready to receive or even listen to us. All this will happen one day when the Holy Spirit decides. Until then we wait.

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The Empty Words

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matthew 4:1)

Pedro is new to the streets. We hardly know anything about him. In fact, no one knows much about him except that he comes from a Brazilian state in the Northeast furthest away from São Paulo. No one knows how he ended up in this city. At first, we thought he was only seven years old. He is the smallest boy among our children here. However, he always insisted that he is 10. It seems to be the truth. No one can deny that he makes up for his small stature with his larger-than-life personality. He found acceptance among the children and teens almost immediately. He is quite a charmer. However, today, he did something wrong. The older teens were trying to explain to him how things work in the streets. He wasn’t listening. Besides, he was not the least bit remorseful for his actions. Nevertheless he regretted being caught for his actions. He had caused a scene in the Cathedral. No one knows exactly what happened. The church’s security guard was clearly upset. He complained to the other teens about it. They like and respect him. He has always been kind to them. I asked one of the older teens what happened. She just shook her head and said, “Pedro thinks is above the Law and he can do what he wants. He has to learn that not everything is permissible here.” She is right.

Pedro like most of our children and teens ran away from an environment where they felt oppressed and restricted. In the streets, all these previous restrictions and abuses are suspended. In fact, everything changes in this place. All the rules and norms of society are not applicable here.If a casual passerby were to sit and observe this place for a moment, he would conclude that this place where we minister to the children is an urban wilderness. Children can do adult things without any restriction or prohibition. Pedro thinks this is great. He is taking full advantage of the situation. He is free but soon he will learn that he is not free to do what he wants. There are new sets of rules for his new reality. He has to learn them soon if he wants to survive in this wilderness.

Jesus chose to go the wilderness for different reasons. He went to confront the devil there. Recently, we had a discussion over this particular text with our friends over coffee. They wanted to know if this encounter was literally or figurative. I told them that the story is not about the reality of the devil, but about confronting all the things that he represents. The devil is a depiction of our human desire to usurp godhood from God Himself. We want to do this by domesticating Him; by using the gifts He bestowed upon us for our own special advancement and by manipulating Him to become our servant. All of us have this desire. Sometimes we ignore it. Sometimes we justify it with pious arguments. Sometimes we think that this is our right to have this desire. Whatever it is, we need to confront it in order to understand the gospel. Jesus went to the wilderness to do this.

Jesus was taken away from his family, friends and everything that was familiar to him. He was stripped of everything that made him who he was. Then He fasted for forty days. His physical strength was almost depleted. He was alone in a frightful place. Emotionally he must have felt vulnerable and abandoned. The only person present with him was the devil trying to convince Him that He deserved better than this.

The word, “temptation”, has been banalized especially in our present times. Maybe it was always like that. The word conjures up images of being seduced to do something naughty or prohibited.However, in this gospel story, the devil tempted Jesus with reasonable things. There was nothing wrong or evil about he said. Perhaps, bowing down to worship him could be conceived as evil. However, even in this case, it could be argued as a proposal to get things done in a quick and efficient way. In this present state we find ourselves, many people including religious ones are convinced that two wrongs can make a right. Therefore, for these people, the temptation to bow down and worship the devil could be brushed as a mere necessary evil.

To turn stone into bread or in other words to use our spirituality for our own personal benefit; to make a spectacle of a miracle so that more people can see the power of God manifested in Jesus and drawing complete attention to oneself, and finally, to make an unholy alliance with an evil ruler so that we can supposedly do some good. Many are already doing all these things today in and outside the church. On the other hand, Jesus systemically refused all of these “good” offers because…..He knew that God was doing something new. These ideas or temptations of the devil come from the old way of thinking. They are fruits of the old Adam who wanted to be like God and acquire God’s power for his own personal benefit. If Jesus had entertained any of these seductive solutions, then He would be just continuing the same old pattern that leads to the path of self-destruction. In the wilderness, Jesus had to decide what kind of person He was going to be so that the gospel could truly be the good news.

I like little Pedro. He is really a good and kind boy. I believe that he will eventually choose to do the right thing. However, he needs help to make the right choices. I am convinced that he is not going to be lectured into doing the right things. No one I know has become a good person through constant nagging. Pedro is looking for new reasons to be good. He wants to discover a new set of ethics that would help him understand how to live in this cruel world that has left him technically an orphan. Before he leaves this urban wilderness, he needs to develop some tools to help him confront this world that has rejected him.

Young Pedro also has helped me understand something about myself. We are too in this urban wilderness. We have been brought here by the Holy Spirit. I believe now that all our children and teens are also here because they have been led here by the same Spirit. This is not to say that the Holy Spirit caused all their misfortunes so that they could be in the streets. I am saying that despite all the evil and tragedy that they have experienced, the Holy Spirit continues to lead and guide them. We are all brought together to this place. Some things from the past don’t have any value in the wilderness. I used to be proud to be an Anglo-Catholic priest. I know how to chant the Morning and Evening Prayers from our prayer book. I know a lot of religious jargon. All these are meaningless in this wilderness. Even if I was a pastor of a mega church, it would be irrelevant here. The wilderness does this. It strips us of all masquerades and leaves us with nothing but our frail humanity. This is when we discern the lies of the devil. Jesus was not tempted by the devil. The devil was exposed in the wilderness. None of his arguments were mildly seductive to our Lord. He knew that despite His frail state, there was something more powerful and deeper in our humanity that will sustain us. The devil can be at our side with his lies but the Truth dwells in our most intimate being. The reasonable arguments of the devil cannot shake this truth from our souls. Jesus held onto this in His soul and went back into the world to overcome it. Therefore, we sit with the children and wait with them. For now, we hear the pointless chatter of the devil. Some of our children are seduced by it. However, most of them can see through it. Now, they are waiting for the Holy Spirit to teach them to listen to the voice comes from within. The voice that speaks the Truth that will cast out all fears and threats that the world throws at us and our children.

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The Transfiguration

Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves.  And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. (Matthew 17: 1-2)

As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus ordered them, “Tell no one about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.” (Matthew 17:9)

The place where the children and teens tend to hang out during the day is elevated. It sits above the entrance to the subway station. It is about three stories high. You can stand above it and watch the people walk in and out of the station. There is no protection or guard. It was exactly at this spot where Israel chose to jump. No one knows why. It was completely unexpected. They saw him standing on the edge watching the people coming and going out of the station. Then he was no longer there. It took a while for everyone to grasp what had happened, They looked down and saw him lying in a pool of blood. He was conscious but unable to move. We were not there at the precise moment. We arrived shortly after the incident. Gabriel told us what happened. I went to the spot where he jumped. At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look down. After mustering all the courage I needed, I looked and saw the horrific sight. Instinctively, I told Mary not to look down. Israel was lying there screaming in pain and his head was resting in a puddle of blood. Even though the police were already there, no one was sitting with him. A small crowd had gathered; mostly other homeless adults. Everyone was at a loss, not knowing what to do. We decided to go down to where he was.

His legs were broken in several places. Miraculously, there was not much head trauma. He had a small cut that caused all the bleeding. However, it wasn’t too serious compared to his other injuries. Someone who witnessed his fall said that he landed on his head. We wanted to sit next to him but someone else took the initiative. She held his hands to comfort him. Then the ambulance came. They tried to set his broken leg in a way so that they could transport him. It took a while. Israel screamed in pain as they manipulated his leg. Finally, they left with him in the ambulance. He was transported to a hospital near our house. The commotion died down and all there was left was a puddle of blood and confusion. No one could understand why Israel jumped. No one believed that he was trying to comment suicide. Most likely, the police and the paramedics and even the doctors would think otherwise. Nevertheless, they don’t know Israel. They have never spoken to him. We have known him since he was 18 and now he is 24.

I wrote about celebrating his 18th birthday once*. It was the first and the last time we celebrated a birthday in the streets with cakes and all. We realized that after the first time that it provoked jealousy among the other children. Everyone began to feel resentful that there was no birthday party for them on their special day. We decided perhaps we needed to do things in a smaller scale and on more personal level. Regardless of this, we still believe that it was a good thing to celebrate his birthday then. Israel is a special young man. He doesn’t understand things like most of the other children. He dances to a different tune. Everyone knows that he is different but no one can put their finger on why.

I am not sure if we would get an answer from him if we asked him. I could speculate but I am not really in the mood to do it. It was quite tragic to see him in that state. I am grateful that he is alive. He sustained non-life threatening injuries. He will be fine in a few months time. However, the whole incident moved us. None of children, including us, knew what to make of it. Everyone was quiet. Something sacred has happened. We saw Life being manifested in a very dark circumstance. We saw Israel screaming and struggling to hang onto life even though he attempt to take a plunge into the abyss of death. The desire for Life prevailed this time. It was a gift. However, we wished it was presented in a different package.

I started this week reflecting about the passage in the gospel about the Transfiguration. It has always been a difficult episode to relate with our everyday life, especially in the streets with the children. It seems like an event in the gospel that is so distant from the reality of homelessness. I was tempted to skip this passage and move on to something else. However, strangely, this gospel passage became clearer in the light of this situation. I witnessed a young man who had a close encountered with death, then desperately tried to grasp life. He walked between these two realities all his life. However, when he saw death up close, he realized that he still desired life. He still had hope for his life. He did not want it all to end.

As I was standing there and witnessing Israel’s plight, I saw God’s image in Israel. He held within his person an aspect of God that perhaps only Israel can reflect. It is not something that I can explain away. It was just a reality that manifested itself. I saw it clearly and I did not want to this unique image to be erased from our existence permanently. Everyone who stood there shared this sentiment, albeit they won’t express it in the same manner.

The disciples saw in Jesus the fullest potential of humanity. The divine and human being were reconciled in the Transfiguration. It is the hidden desire of our souls. We want our lives to be connected with something higher and greater than what we are confronted with in this life. All sense of hopelessness stems out of this fear that our lives are insignificant. We need the divine Light to shine through us so that our true image of God will be reflected in the world. Then the disciples saw Jesus being transformed by the Light. They knew that this was a possibility. It was no longer just wishful thinking. The eternal can become part of our humanity.

It is no wonder that Peter did not want to leave the place. He wanted to secure this encounter for eternity. He did not want to return to his previous existence where nothing was certain; where the dreaded sense of loss and desperation was a constant threat. When I saw Israel lying there on a pool of blood, I wanted to turn away and be as far as possible from such pain and suffering. It was too overbearing. I would rather make my abode where humanity’s hope is fully manifested like in the Transfiguration. I did not want to be in the midst of pain and suffering.

The biblical story ends with a tragic statement. “Tell no one about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.” This life transforming episode did not change the harsh reality of life. This encounter with the fullness of hope and life did not eradicate the unjust and cruel death awaiting our Lord. Life still goes on tragically. The disciples were reminded that nothing has changed in one sense. They still have to face the darkness. However, they have seen the Light. They have seen something to help them make sense of it all. This is their reward and compensation. There is reconciliation that awaits us together with all the pain and suffering. Humanity is not abandoned to the elements. The divine is waiting to embrace us with open arms and say, “You are my Beloved.”

We attempted to visit Israel several times at the hospital. Visiting the homeless sick is not an easy task. We need to have the right information like their birthday and mother’s name. Three attempts and none were successful. However, I believe that our next attempt will get us there. He is still under observation. He needs to go through several surgeries. I believe and pray that he will come through it all. We need to see the image of God imprinted in Israel’s soul. It brings joy to many. Maybe even to those who never realized it until the day they saw him pleading for his life. We need him in our lives.

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Careless and Harmful Words

You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. Matthew 5:21-22

“Let you words be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37

Gabriel fainted.

He was talking to us. We noticed something was strange. He was behaving quite erratically. Initially, we thought it was the paint thinner that he was sniffing. Almost all the children and teens were sniffing it at that time. Unfortunately, there was something more to it. Gabriel has been having health problems since the end of last year. It started with a high fever and progressive weight loss. He gradually recovered from this only to suffer a convulsion shortly after. He was taken to the hospital but nothing came out of it. He is homeless and the homeless don’t receive the same treatment. Ever since then, he has adamantly refused to go to see a doctor. I don’t blame him. We have seen the treatment he received there. The homeless are just people that society feels are not worth receiving any help. Doctors don’t want to deal with them. They are diagnosed without any examination. Their health complains are never taken seriously. Besides, they are not a priority in anybody’s list. This is the world we live in even though this country identifies itself as Christian. It claims to have said “Yes to Jesus”, at the same time, it is constantly saying, “No” to His little ones.

Before Gabriel fainted, he was telling us about his latest attempt to get an education. He enrolled in evening classes. He is 19 and illiterate. He went to school when he was young. He needed extra attention with learning to read. His teacher claimed that he had problems with his vision. She convinced him that he wasn’t going to be able to read unless he got a pair of new glasses. His mother could not afford to pay for it. Consequently, Gabriel stopped going to school. In the neighborhood where he lived, a life of crime is a daily temptation especially for young teens with no prospects and education. Gabriel got involved in criminal activities but it never suited him. He left his home and lived in the streets. It was the better option for him. Unfortunately, crime was still a temptation.

Since December, Gabriel has been venturing out. He has been trying out new things. The night school is one of these. Unfortunately, he was sharing with us that he disliked it. His fellow students have cell phones and dressed well. They were literate and more advanced than him in their studies. He felt like a complete outsider. He felt small and insignificant. He decided to quit school. We were trying to convince to seek for a better alternative when he started slurring. Then he slowly closed his eyes and slouched his body. I managed to grab hold of him before he hit the ground. No one noticed us even though we were in a crowded area in the entrance of a busy subway station.

We called out the other teens to help us. This caught the attention of the passers-by. Soon a small crowd gathered around us. Mary quickly went out to get some water for Gabriel. I was trying to see if he was conscious and able to say something. Suddenly the floodgates of unsolicited medical opinions opened. Everyone became a doctor armed with a diagnosis. Gabriel was coming in and out of conscious and I was trying to talk to him. However, well-intentioned people were drowning his voice with their comments. I wished that everyone would just be quiet for a moment. It is a mystery why complete strangers think that they have answers without knowing the questions. A woman dressed in a nurse-like attire gave us some advice. I asked her if she was a nurse and she never said affirmed it. She used an applicative on her cell phone and checked his pulse. She said that he was fine. However, he was obviously in a daze and completely disoriented. Gabriel mumbled a few words which was lost in the midst of the brouhaha. Mary brought some water. Someone commented loudly that giving water was the most dangerous thing to do. This further confused Gabriel. He refused the water. In the meantime, no one was calling the medical emergency attendants of the subway station. Eventually Gabriel started slowly recovering his color. Another woman brought him a sandwich to eat. The same person who said water was dangerous. Then the pseudo nurse turned her attention from Gabriel and started making disparaging comments about the homeless children and teens. She said that all these children do is sniff paint thinner and rob people. She started even warning Mary that they were going to rob her as soon as they get the chance. I just really wanted her to leave. She was aggravating the situation. Then the same woman proceeded to show the sandwich woman all the children and that the bottles they had was paint thinner. Now they became social commentators and made some superficial observations of the state of things. Fortunately, Gabriel gradually recovered and the first thing he wanted was the water that Mary bought. He grabbed it and gulped everything down to its final drop. The sandwich woman seeing that Gabriel had recovered decided to address him authoritatively. “Young man,” she said, “There is only one thing you need and do you what it is?” I cringed. I knew the words that would proceed from her. Gabriel was still trying to get his bearing and the woman gave up waiting for his answer and finished what she wanted to say, “Jesus! All you need Jesus. He is the answer to everything.” Then she turned around and went on her way. The spectacle was over. Everyone left leaving us with Gabriel and the rest of the teens.

So many words were spoken in one incident and none of them were really helpful. People were trying “help” someone in need but their prejudices and self-righteousness dominated their actions. They spent more time talking negatively about the children and teens than trying to get help for the boy. Not even in a moment as such, they could refrain from passing unfair judgments on these children and teens. Gabriel was not even given the chance to suffer in peace. No doubt, he needs a lot of things in life; more compassionate doctors, an educational system that is more concerned with educating, a home where it is safe and secure for him, and the list can go on and on. Saying that all you need is Jesus and then walking away doesn’t bear any resemblance to Jesus or His message. It seems like taking the Lord’s name in vain. It is like saying, “Yes” to Jesus and then “No” to be His instrument of Love to those who are in need.

I can understand why Jesus said that when we call our brother or sister, “You fool” we will be liable to the hell of fire. People designate all kinds of derogative terms for our children and teens. They have grown accustomed to calling them these things so much so that they cannot see their humanity anymore. We also taught by the world to call people who commit crimes as criminals, murderers, robbers, drug dealers…as if this is their nature. In reality, they are just people like you and me that have committed a crime. It is not their nature to be a criminal. To call someone a fool or criminal is to reject their humanity and regard them as sub-human. It is murdering their humanity. Without a doubt, society will continue to address them as such. Jesus told us that our spirituality is to be superior than that of the Pharisees. The people who gathered around Gabriel wanted to help but they still could not see him as a human being. He was able to talk and even say what was happening to him. Unfortunately, no one was interested in listening to him.

For me, the most disturbing part of the incident was the woman proclaiming the Name of Jesus and then walking away. It reduces our Lord to some magical spell or product. When we say, “Yes” to Jesus we accept a sacred task. We receive His Name which is sacred. It requires us to speak out in His Name with fear and trembling. It is a name that sums up the definition of Love that many desperately seek in this world. Once we speak His Name, it is our responsibility to be the instrument of His Love. If we are not willing to do this, then it would be better if we just say, “No” to Him. It would be better than saying “Yes” and then living a “No”. This is something that is not from God. Jesus has told us exactly where this comes from.

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The Light in Praça da Sé

“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5: 14-16

Someone put up a picture of the place where we meet the children. I didn’t recognize it at first. Everything looked perfect in it. The colors were gorgeous. The Cathedral stood majestical in the background surrounded by palm trees with people scurrying to their activities. It was a serene but lifeless photograph. Everything that did not please the eye of the photographer was carefully removed. The homeless people that congregated in the square were carefully eradicated from the scenery. There was no sign of the countless children and their pets in it. The poor people sell their simple wares to make enough money to eat. They were not given a role in this picture. The picture spotlighted things that society wants and those who actually call this square their only home were evicted from the picture. The world does not have the Light but it only carries a spotlight to shine on things it thinks are important. In the end, it produces an image that is void of life and love.

Sterile Picture of Praça da Sé

The reality that the picture avoided greeted as we returned to the streets after a month of absence. The first thing that greeted us was the chaos. There was movement and noise everywhere. There are shoe shiners. People selling things that no one really needs or wants. Preachers yelling at the top of their voice about a God who constantly wants to send someone to hell. Homeless people sprawled about almost everywhere. Mentally-ill people having arguments with themselves or their imaginary enemies. People pulling their recycle carts filled with card boxes. It is not postcard scenery but we love it here, the mess and all. We don’t want a whitewashed image of this place. It is what it is and the gospel is still powerful here. This is all that matters. Where the gospel is alive, there is life. Most people just see darkness and chaos here. However, we are called to be His Light. We are to shine so that the world can see that there is true Life in Praça da Sé.

These were things going through my mind and they were interrupted when a homeless man whom I did not find familiar looked up at me and said, “How are you, Long-haired?” I have a nickname in the streets. Only those who belong here have a nickname. I am part of this environment now. It is God’s gift to me. I smiled at him and acknowledged his presence. Then some of the children came to hug us but not all of them. We have varying degrees of friendship with the children. The new ones are still getting to know us. Maybe our brief absence caused a momentary lapse of memory on their part. It is okay. We are here to stay. Time will eventually build the necessary bridges. These children came here looking for something. They don’t know exactly what they are looking for at the moment. However, the Light will eventually reveal their true heart’s desire. The ones who are close to us asked about our trip. Well, they did not really know what to ask for exactly because they have no notion or concept what it means to take a trip abroad. We brought some simple souvenirs. Something small, just enough for them to know that we thought about them.

Erica and Kawana came up and hugged us. This is something recent. The girls are usually more reserved. However, it seemed like we managed to gain their trust. They have opened up a space in their hearts for us. Danyel saw us and came up to give us a long hug. We sat down and talked for a long time. He told us that he was trying to stay in a shelter. He was thinking about enrolling in a school although he wasn’t too keen about it. Something is going on in his mind. He is going through that time where he is considering about his future. I jokingly asked him if he missed us. He responded without any hesitation, “This is why I immediately came to you when I saw you. I haven’t seen you for a while.” It was nice to be missed. It was good for us to be back. This is the place where we see things clearly. It is the place of the Light. Its warmth comforts our souls. It brings joy and love into our lives.

Pedro finally summed the courage to approach us. He says that he is 10 years old. I don’t see why he would lie about his age. However, he looks like he is 8. He is physically underdeveloped. He has seen us a few times. Today, he wanted to talk with us. He asked us if we were coming to the streets everyday again. I said yes. Then, he told us that he wanted to do something with us one day. It was his way of saying that I want to have a relationship with us. Maybe not today but someday. It is okay. The Light is always shining. He will be able to find his way through the darkness. For today, he allowed his Light to shine into our souls.

One of the major drug dealers in the area walked passed us with his very pregnant wife. He was wearing shorts and pulling a string attached to a big toy truck. Definitely not the kind of image of someone like him that is represented in the movies. No one asked about his truck. He was pulling it around just like any other kid. Maybe he bought it for someone. Nevertheless, it just gave a us glimpse of this young man’s spirit. He was a child lost in the world of crime and hopelessness. He found a truck. Maybe he is hoping that his unborn child would have the childhood that he never had. Hopefully, the child will be able to guide him to the Light to find his way out of hopelessness.

Being the Light in Praça da Sé (The Square of The Cathedral) means not being afraid to face all the harsh reality of life represented in this place. The world thinks that this place would be beautiful if it wasn’t for the people who make this place their home. However, the Light shines brightly so that the world can see the beauty in these people that society overlooks. So much is revealed when the true Light shines. Perhaps somethings are painful when exposed. However, it is necessary to examine the wounds and rejections in the Light. It is the first step for the healing process. For this, we need salt. I believe that this too is a role Jesus has graciously bestowed upon all who choose to follow Him. With the salt nearby, the Light becomes the good news for those who are weary and heavy laden. Salt and Light are essential ingredients to draw a beautiful picture of those who are often overlooked and evicted out of sterile postal card images of cities.

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They Wanted to See Jesus

Simeon took the infant Jesus in his arms and praised God, saying,
“Master, now you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation,which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples,a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.”
Luke 2 :28-32

There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was of a great age, having lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped there with fasting and prayer night and day. Luke 2:36-37

Our present bishop once told us that you know you are called to serve in a particular place when you can see Jesus clearly in the everyday things, or rather, things or acts that people usually overlook. I remember these words as if they were spoken today. Back then, I was at a point of decision. I could return to the ministry to the homeless children or remain in Florida as a parish priest. I enjoyed being a priest. I served in the ministry for 7 years. I had many precious and beautiful moments sharing people’s most joyous as well as vulnerable moments. I felt a strong connection with the divine each time the Eucharist was celebrated. I loved preaching, it gave me an opportunity to reflect on the things God was doing in our midst. I enjoyed the hours we spent together in our Bible studies. All these gracious episodes sustained me weekly. However, I could not see God in the day to day things of parish life. Sometimes I dreaded them. Most of the time, my soul was restless. On the other hand, I don’t mind doing the most ordinary and mundane things in the streets everyday; like sitting in the hot sun or cold weather waiting for the children and teens, waiting hours without any interactions with the children and even walking to the place where work. I sense the presence of our Lord in all of these things.

The prophets Simeon and Anna are the main characters of the gospel reading above, albeit, the narrative is essentially about the Presentation of Jesus. Anna was a widow who could have remarried and raised a family like most women in her time. If she had done this, she would have been just as fulfilled her role in society like women in her time. However, she chose a different path. She decided to spend her life in the temple to pray and wait for hope to manifest itself. She placed herself in the ideal place to see this. It does not make her superior or any better than the women who chose a common life. Ana chose what she chose to do because it helped her see God clearly in her life.

Simeon was a prophet whose only claim to fame are resumed in 3 verses in the New Testament. We don’t know anything about him beyond this beautiful hymn. His prophesy was understood and appreciated by only two people, Mary and Joseph. The same could be said of Ana’s prophetic ministry. They spend their whole lives to prophesy to just two people. Maybe others around heard their words but it did not have the desired effect as it did with the Holy Family. The world would not understand this. For it, their lives would be considered wasted. However, it made perfect sense for Simeon and Ana. The ways of God are completely contrary to the mindset of this world.

Some days, nothing happens. We don’t consider these days as wasted. We never consider anything as wasted or lost time when we are in the streets. Every moment can be and is used by God to communicate something to us and sometimes even to the children. Every day is a step towards discovering something special about the gospel of our Lord even on bad days when something tragic or disturbing happens. Honestly, I never felt this way in any place except in the streets while sitting on the ground that should have been cleaned several months ago. In our recent visit to Florida, some kind people told us that we are special people. This could be read in many ways. Maybe they think we are special because we are crazy. Maybe they think we are saintly. They said it with a smile; I hoping the latter is their intent.

Anna and Simeon, however, would have rejected such compliments. Therefore, it is only right for us to do the same. I don’t mean to say that we consider ourselves their equals. We rather think of them as our role models. Whereas we are grateful for people for their high consideration of us but it would be wrong of us to accept their compliments. We walk in the path that these evangelical prophets have opened for us. We share their conviction. Ana and Simeon acted in self-interest. However, they were not selfish. They had a burning desire to see God act in their midst. This came from God. The gospel tells us both prophets were sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. They allowed the Holy Spirit to modify their desires and values. They realize that their earthly desires cannot fulfill them instead they embraced the things of the Spirit and found fulfillment.

Likewise, we are here for self-interest too. We are seeking fulfillment. The voice of the Spirit has told us that it has something to do with the homeless children and teens. Our children and teens also listen to the Spirit. This is why they are in the streets. God chooses the strangest places to manifest Himself. However, there is difference between us and the children. They have a hard time trying to discern the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit. I am not implying that we know how to listen to God’s voice clearly. Discerning His voice is not a technique that one can master. The Holy Spirit speaks freely but often times softly. If we are unaware of His desire to communicate to us, we might not know to listen. Our children don’t believe that God wants to speak to them. We have the assurance that the Word of God is always present among the little ones of this world. It was our honor to announce to our children that God desires to speak them and has spoken to them many times. They hear His voice and sometimes they get confused.

An older teen told us that once she attempted to rob a woman immediately after she was released from the juvenile detention center. It was something that she has always done. As she was robbing this poor fear-stricken woman who frantically handed her wallet and cell phone to her, something happened to the teen. Suddenly, she felt a strange sensation in her spirit. She felt a strong repulsion for her criminal actions. She handed back everything to her surprised victim and told her that she changed her mind. The woman was confused and left the scene. We will never know the things that went through the woman’s mind. We asked the teen what happened. What made her feel such repulse for her actions? She said maybe she just matured. However, if maturity can summon virtue in people, then this world will be in a better shape than it finds itself. For us, it seems clear that this young woman heard the voice of the Holy Spirit. She is beginning to change her ways or least she wants to find a better way for her life. She doesn’t realize that she is responding to the voice of God. We believe that it is our privilege to help her in the coming years to discern and follow the Voice of God.

Mother Mary had been hearing God’s voice for years regarding Jesus. There must have been times when she doubted it. The prophets Anna and Simeon did not say anything that she did not know already. They just helped to confirm it. In a way, this is the only thing we can do for these children. We are in a place where we know for sure God speaks to us. Out of this assurance, we can only confirm what God is already speaking to the hearts of our children and teens. I believe that the things we hear from the Holy Spirit also confirm what many of our readers have been hearing from the soft and gentle voice of God.

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Leaving Everything Behind

As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea—for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.” Matthew 4:18-19

These were experienced fishermen. They did not choose this line of work. It chose them. In Jesus’ time, people worked in the profession of their families. It was the only thing they needed to know. Jesus invited them to “fish” for people. The familiar term did not fool them. Jesus was inviting them to do something completely different and a little risky. They fished for food. It provided them with a livelihood. However, being fishers of people was not a lucrative alternative back then. The gospel tells us that they left everything and followed Him without any hesitation. I often thought what I would do if I was in their position. I imagine that I would have just disregarded Jesus as a madman and continued with my task. This would be the most ordinary thing to do. The disciples were ordinary people just like us. Yet, they were able to do this extra-ordinary thing. It is something that I never understood until we started our ministry with the homeless children and teens. They gave us an insight into the hearts and mind of these disciples. Most importantly, they challenged us to confront some things within ourselves.

Once upon a time, our homeless children and teens had a home. They lived with their families. They lived in a neighborhood, albeit, an extremely poor one. As children, they were not necessarily aware of their social status. Besides, they did not have a choice in the matter. They were born into poverty. It is what they have always known. One day, they decided to leave behind everything and step into the unknown. They stepped away from what was comfortable into something that was harsh and hostile. Compared to the streets, anything with a roof and walls could be considered comfortable. At least, this is from our middle class perspective. Our children saw things differently. They did not want comfort. They did not want security. They desired something that they were not receiving at home. All they wanted was to be someone. In their homes, unfortunately they were nobody. No one desired to be with them. No one wanted to be with them. They suffered an identity crisis. They were not sure if their lives mattered to anyone or anybody. They chose to leave their homes in search of themselves. The only place that would receive them was the streets. It was the best option available to them as hard as it is for us to understand this.

It would be inaccurate to say that physical or sexual abuse drove them to the streets. There are some who suffered these things but they are in the minority. Most of our children and teens were just neglected. It wasn’t because their parents were irresponsible or indifferent. To the contrary, most of their parents did the best they could. They themselves were subjected to neglect and abject poverty as children. Most of them had to toil hours in the streets, recycling trash or even begging to put food on the table. Usually they would be too exhausted to spare any time for their children. Once a young teen, Gabriel, told me half jokingly that he was helping his family by living in the streets. They have one less mouth to feed.

This tragic circumstance is not new. It has been going on for hundreds of years. Homeless children and teens have been a reality in Brazilian society for decades. These are the poorest of the poor. No one really cares for them. No one really cares what they think or feel.

No political nor religious leader in Jesus’ time cared about the fishermen. They were insignificant or nobodies. If our children were to read this gospel that we heard today, they would be happy. Jesus chose His disciples among people just like them. When Jesus called them, these young fishermen were ready for something new. They were ready for meaningful life. Our children can appreciate this.

I realize that I found it hard to understand how the first disciples were willing abandon everything because I was happy where I am. This is not necessarily a good thing. It means that I am comfortable with the way things are in this world. Jesus is offering us something new in this world. We cannot receive the new unless we are willing to let go of the old. I realized that I liked the old too much to risk letting go of it. The first disciples of Jesus had to release the nets before they could become fishers of people.
Our children would love to fish for people like the first disciples. This is why they came to the streets. They want to have people close to them all the time. They want to talk with them. They want to be loved by people. For them, money, food, material properties do not mean anything. They value connection with someone above anything else. They want at least one person to recognize their presence and their absence. They desire at least one person to be always waiting for them. They have spent many years waiting for someone to love them. They have waited patiently in the streets and finally cast out their nets and brought us into their fold.

For some time, we thought that we needed to do something for these children and teens to help them secure a better future. However, they have taught us that this is not what they desire from us. They are wiser than us. They know that they belong to the poorest of the poor. The jobs that are available to them will never get them out of their social status. They know that life is going to be struggle for them. However, the thing they fear the most is to struggle alone.

They desire one thing from us which is the only thing we can give them. They want us to struggle with them. They want us to be with them when they apply for their jobs. They want us to be help them learn about their surroundings. They want us to be their guide when they have children of their own. They want to be fishers of people who would remain with them and most importantly love them.

What does it mean to be a fisher of people? It is a curious thing. It is hard to explain. Perhaps, Jesus would be best one to give us a hint. He connected people from all walks of life; people that society would disregard and ignore. He brings them together in a mysterious way and uses them to reveal to each other the deep and wonderful things of God. I have realized after serving almost everyday in the streets for more than six years, our primary calling is not to solve the social problems of our children, even though we do address them but they are more complex than what we could handle. Our calling is simpler and more powerful. It is allowing God to draw us closer to people whom we never associate with in a normal circumstance and discover together with them the mystery and power of God’s love. Perhaps you can join us and together fish for people who will enrich our understanding and knowledge of God’s abundant love.

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