“And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”
Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. – Rev. 22:12-14

Last year we hardly spent any time with Felipe. It is strange when you consider the fact that we were with him almost everyday for more than three years. It goes without saying, life was the primary cause of this disruption. A young woman threw his life into a disarray. She was his very first girlfriend. We can understand why he was completely enthralled. He hardly had any time for anyone except her. For a moment, we thought perhaps our time with Felipe had come to an end. It was quite sad for us. We had become rather fond of him. He was a positive presence among the teens. He was their conscience and moral compass. Nevertheless, like the rest of us, he deserves to be loved romantically. For this reason, we were happy for him, though, not completely. There is a selfish part in us that wanted to see him more often. Occasionally, he would look for us just to give us a hug. It was his way of letting us know that he missed us just as much as we missed him. Still and all, things have changed for him. Life has beckoned him to move in a different direction and it was a path away from us. It is a positive change for him and we have to admit this. It was time for us to allow him to find walk away from us.

Over the pass six years, we have been building close and intimate relationships with children and teens and then learning to let them go in the direction they choose. In Felipe’s case, it was something hopeful. Unfortunately, there were many relationships that slowly withered away because of drugs and crime. Young people we wrote and spoke about affectionately are now absent in our narratives. Hopefully, it is not permanent. They still linger strongly in our hearts and minds. There was Igor, Ruan, Gabriel, Bruno, Danyel, Dreyson and the list goes on. Some of them are incarcerated. Some have given themselves over to drugs. Some have become hardened criminals. Some have just disappeared. There are those who are still around but they are completely lost in their own world. They wander aimlessly not realizing that life is just slipping by. In spite of all these changes, our vocation remains the same. We wait for them in a place where they can find us. This is where Felipe came looking for us in the beginning of this year. There were some radical changes in his life. He is a father now of an infant child. He has spent most of life sniffing paint thinner and begging because he had no one but himself. Sometimes, he would deliberately contort his body to look like a little child to gain the sympathy of his donors. It was quite a fit because he is 6 feet tall. Now, he has a woman and her children and his infant child under his wing. He wants to be a good and responsible father to all the children. Unfortunately, he never had a father in his life. He doesn’t even know where to start. Everything was strange and new to him. He came to us and asked us for help.

It wasn’t for parenting skills that he need our help. He was intimidated by the common everyday things in life. These were things and requirements that he never knew existed. On the other hand, we just assumed that everyone knew how to deal with these things. I can’t remember anyone teaching us how to do these things. This is because we don’t remember. It was our parents who taught us how to do these simple and mundane things.

He found a job but he needed help to open a bank account. He did not even know where to start. His job hardly pays for a few week’s grocery. Nonetheless, Felipe wants to save something for his infant son even if it is a small amount. The bank officer asked him for his marital status, Felipe responded, “São Paulo” because in Portuguese, the term used is “civil status”. Even though he is ignorant of the term, his reasoning makes sense. Naturally he thought that he was being asked about the city of his residence. Felipe then laughed about it when we explained it. He is not embarrassed about his mistakes. He knows that we don’t judge him by his lack of understanding of bureaucratic jargon.

He doesn’t make enough to survive. His wife still needs to go out and beg for money to supplement their income. They make it with the little they have. All the children are fed. They keep their house organized and livable. Felipe teaches the other children everything he learned like drawing and even an interest in the Japanese language. They learn to have fun and laugh. The other teens from the streets occasionally come by his house to visit him. They see that Felipe has a sense of direction now in his life. He hasn’t changed. He is still the same kind hearted young man that used to be homeless like them. The major difference is that now he has to think about the little infant he holds him arms. He named him David, after his favorite personality from the Bible. Felipe used to read the Psalms together with another young man before they went to sleep in the streets. Today he holds David and kisses him each time he leaves for work.

Opening a bank account is not easy in Brazil. It takes several attempts and lots of patience. Thankfully, the endless time spent waiting gave us an opportunity to reignite our friendship with Felipe. The old friendship in the streets has died. Now God has resurrected new relationship that still bears the marks of the old. Nevertheless, it is completely new. Now, we have a different role to play in his life. He is no longer a homeless young man even though he still doesn’t have a home yet. His family are squatters in an abandoned and squalid building. It looks like a nightmare for us but it is home for him. Felipe has a different way of looking at things. His tiny room is a spark of hope. He is moving forward. He is right whereas we are just too used to luxury to see beyond precarious conditions.

Felipe looks at life from a different perspective. He once had nothing and now he has a family and meaning in his life. He wants us to be part of this new beginning in his life. We are the one of the few things he wants to take with him from the streets. He wants our friendship to accompany him as he walks into this new world that awaits him.

On Monday, we met Felipe in front of the public library to pass some documents to him. We asked him if he wanted to enter the library. He told us that he was walked pass this place all these years and never had the courage to enter. We walked in and Felipe was amazed at the number of books. He started looking at all the titles and found the Reference section. He asked if he could borrow any of these books. We told him that he could take out anything except for the books from the Reference section. “But those are the best books!” I was quite surprised to hear this. Usually, people would hardly look at this part of the library unless they are required to do so. Felipe spent most of his flipping through pages of books on languages, biology and everything that caught his attention. Afterwards, he told us that he would never entered this place in the past but now it was clear to see that he has discovered something new and special. He is not alone. We discovered something new and special this week too. It gives us hope that there are many more special things awaiting for us as we sit and fulfill our vocation that God has given us.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Sometimes we sit at the steps of the cathedral where we meet the children and nothing happens. Some of them are around but they don’t seem to be interested in us. They are too “busy”, the kind of busyness that has something to do with drugs. It is best to leave it at that. It does leave us on the steps where nothing is happening. I sit and wonder what am I going to write about this week. I don’t write to report about something. This is not my vocation. I write to reflect on God’s presence in our midst. Unfortunately, it is hard to reflect when nothing happens.

This is not entirely true. Something always is occurring. The problem is that my mind is focused on what I want to see. No doubt this is the problem. I am so fixated with one thing that I miss the obvious. Jesus warned us about this, “Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? “ There are people all around me. They have always been here; the homeless adults in their different stages of intoxication, countless of “regular” people hustling to accomplish their mundane activities, a makeshift poor person’s fair where everything from old shoes to stolen cell phones are sold, tourists looking painfully foreign and vulnerable walking up and down the steps of the Cathedral and not to mention, the few dogs that belong to all the homeless but to no one in particular. Where there are people, there is always something happening. Jesus also told us when two or three gathered in His Name, He is always present. It can be argued that none of these people are gathered in His Name. It is true that they did not make a deliberate decision to meet at the steps for religious purposes. Most of the homeless are here because they have no where else to go. However, we are here because of Jesus. We are two people and so, Jesus must be here. I just need to stop looking for things that I want to see and open my eyes and ears to sense what God is doing in our midst.

Wallace came up to the steps. He had two huge bags. They have been gradually increasing in size over the past few days. He has been slowly accumulating some donated clothes and even bought a pair of old tennis shoes from the poor person’s fair. He sat himself next to us. He has been doing well this past few days. He is not allowing drugs to dominate his life like he did a few weeks ago. He has been doing his writing exercises faithfully. Albeit, he does it only for a few minutes a day. Today, he just wanted to rest. He was tired. The homeless are always tired. They have no place to rest their heads. Every place they choose to lie down permeates with noise and danger. They can never rest peacefully. Drugs help them to shut out all the fear and anxiety. Unfortunately, it also turns away everything that edifies their souls.

Our eyes rested on a woman who walked passed us. She always passes through at the same time. She is blind. This made her stand out to us although, for many, she still is one of the countless anonymous people that walk through this area. She manages herself so effectively that one could easily overlook that she is visually impaired. She has become so familiar to us without knowing her. Strangely, we also sense her absence on certain days. She has become part of our life without her knowledge. We noted some changes in her life. Soon, she will be taking care of a baby. Of course, we don’t know if it is going to be for the first time. We have never spoken to her. Wallace blurted out that she was not completely blind. She could see images but they are just blurry to her. In spite of this, she is able to do a lot of things on her own. I was astonished that Wallace knew so much about this woman, at least more than me. Apparently, she was not a complete stranger to him. The children and teens have spoken to her. We watch her walk by everyday. It is unlikely that we would ever speak to her. Wallace, on the other hand, refused to allow this woman be anonymous. He reached out to her.

Next day, we sat by the steps again, same as the day before. Nothing was happening initially. A young man came to us and asked us if we wanted to buy some candies that looked extremely unappetizing. He wasn’t disappointed when we refused to buy any. He knew that the quality of his product. He sat close to us and looked a little depressed. A homeless man walked by and asked us if he could sit next to us. He said that he was tired and just wanted to rest. He sat down next to me and said that there is no place to rest in this city. I am not sure if his statement was to be taken literally or spiritually but it is true in both senses. The young candy seller stood up and commented that there is so much injustice in this world that it is hard to find a place for any of us to rest here. He started talking about his life how he has to work a regular job and then sell cheap candies on the side to pay rent and eat. The homeless man added that he worked for a long time and now he has absolutely nothing except the clothes on his body. Two anonymous men with a tragic and difficult life who have no one to share their story. They turned their attention towards us. They did not want anything from us except for our attention. We had nothing concrete to say to them. Again, the word, “nothing” manifest its presence in this post. These two men wanted us to say something, anything. They were just tired from being alone and anonymous in this city. They just wanted to find a place to rest. They did deserve some words from us. We just agreed with them that life is unjust. Our accent gave us away and they turned their attention from their tragic life to our countries of origin. They shared that once dreamed about going to foreign lands. The homeless man even shared that he lived in Paraguay once. The situation was there was worse than Brazil. He married someone from there and she turned around and cheated on him. Now, he has nothing to dream about anymore. The younger man was just confused why we were living in Brazil when we could be in the States. For him, anywhere but Brazil was paradise. He was a simple young man who comes from the interior of the State of São Paulo. He came to the city hoping to find a better life for himself and his family. Now, he is on the steps of the Cathedral trying to sell enough candy so that he could eat and rest.

They did not expect to say some magic phrases that would make all their misery vanish. They know that there are no simple solutions in this life. Nevertheless, they seemed happy to just have a genuine conversation with someone. The homeless man said that one day he is going to make it. I am not sure what “it” meant for him. That wasn’t important. For a brief moment, he was someone to somebody. The young candy seller still looked depressed. Then, Wanderson showed up. We said our goodbyes to our new “friends” and went to do some activity with him. The homeless man was sincerely happy that we conversed together and he stood there for a minute trying to find something significant to say. Finally, he said in the little English he could conjure up; “bye-bye”. These simple words was his gift to us.

Jesus gives us a new and final commandment; “Just as I have loved you, you should also love one another.” The “other” is the person who spends his or her life in anonymity. This is really greater part of humanity which includes you and me. The media and even churches focus on the famous and influential people. Jesus dwelt among the anonymous ones like the blind lady who walks pass us everyday or the homeless man who has no place to rest. These people are the “other” that we are told to love the way Jesus loved us. These are the ones who need to know that even though they are anonymous, they are not insignificant. After all, this is the most important thing. I like being anonymous but I don’t want to be insignificant. Wallace made sure that the blind woman knew that her presence marked his life. She was a stranger but she did occupy a space in his life.

Jesus was quite specific. He did not say to love in some ambiguous manner. He is the model. He sought people who were anonymous: the “regular” people who are just trying to find a place to rest. Jesus went to where these people were and loved them. He did not wait for something to happen. He just loved them by letting them know that they are someone to Him. I have been waiting for something to happen but actually, God just wants us to love the other when absolutely nothing happens. Nothing occurs everyday. Love is not a tool for us wield in a moment of crisis. It is a lifestyle that brings healing and joy to those who trying to find their way in the everyday drudgery of life.

There is much to learn when nothing happens. There is much to reflect on God’s presence in the nothingness.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” (John 21:15)

It was one of those days.

We made our way home feeling like we did something significant. We heard a “Yes” after enduring weeks of “No” from the children and teens. It has been a long time. It seemed like they forgot that there is life beyond drugs. For the past weeks, we only saw them staggering around with a plastic bottle containing paint thinner protruding out of their mouth as if permanently attached to it. This has become their drug of choice at this moment. Their lives revolve around this toxic substance. It provides an easy escape from the brutal reality that confronts them. However, not everyone or everything is against them. We don’t want them to reject the good together with the bad. We couldn’t help feeling that our long talks and valuable times we once had with them was slowly becoming a distant memory. Fortunately, we know that this is not true. They are saying “no” for now. Thankfully, their “no” does not have to strength to resist Life. Eventually a “yes” will spring forth. This is our hope. Today, we heard Wallace say it.

A few weeks ago, we could not even have a coherent conversation with Wallace. He appeared as if he just gave up on everything and completely surrendered himself to drugs. We felt like helpless spectators watching a scene of self-destruction. We did not have the tools or words to remedy the situation and we are supposed to be the healers here. We just stood there and watched him slowly slip into perdition. I made a feeble attempt and muttered some cliché like “don’t allow drugs ruin your life”. I wished that it was something deep and powerful. This was the best I could say at that time. It did bring a smile to his face. He understood what we were trying to say. Maybe this is more important that the content of the words. Today he came to us, all sober and clean. We almost had forgotten how good and pleasant he looked without the cursed bottle of paint thinner attached to his mouth. He had a peaceful semblance and accommodated himself next to us. He told us that he wanted a safe place from drugs. We were this place for him.

Wallace just turned 24 a few days ago. Maybe this has something to do with everything. He was given an opportunity to think about his life. He is an intelligent man. Even though he has spent most of his childhood in the streets, he never lost his innocence. He refused to engage in anything that would hurt another human being. He survives by begging. Wallace cannot imagine himself being anything else but a homeless person. It is not something anyone chooses voluntarily. It was something imposed upon him since he was a child. He never learned to read or write. On many occasions, we tried to convince him to learn to write his name. He would recoil in fear. He did not want to feel stupid or incapable. It wasn’t a question of pride. He just couldn’t stand another humiliating experience. This was the greatest obstacle in this young man’s life.

Today, however, was different. He told us that he was tired of feeling nervous writing his own name. He had enough of feeling stupid or inadequate. He asked Mary if she would teach him. This is the first time he has asked anything of this sort. It was as if he was the prodigal son who saw the pigsty for what it was and now has decided that it was time to make his way back home. Perhaps, some might think that I am exaggerating here. After all, he just wants to learn to write. This is just a simple thing for many. For Wallace, it is something significant. He wants to take a big step into the unknown. Something has given him the courage to take this step. Being here to see this unfold in his life ignited a joyful sensation in our souls. We don’t actually know why and can’t explain it.

Wallace stayed with us until it was time for us to go home. He seldom spends such a length of time with us. There was something special about everything today. Finally a “Yes” after a dry period of “No”, this was enough to make our walk home a joyful one. For some reason my eyes focused on a young man devouring a churro with exquisite joy. Personally, I can’t find anything pleasant about this elongated donut stuffed with sickeningly sweet fillings. However, I was mesmerized by this young person consuming it with such childlike pleasure that I almost did not recognize him. He was our friend. Our eyes met at the precise moment the last piece of churro was in his mouth. His reaction was one of embarrassment and surprise. He desperately tried to swallow the pastry so that he could utter something to us. It bought me a few seconds to appreciate the miracle standing before us. He has terminal cancer. He is going through some experimental treatment as a last resort. It has been a tough period for his wife and two year old child to adjust to this dreadful situation. However, standing before us was a young man far from death’s door. It has been months since we last saw him. There was so much to talk about over a cup of coffee.

He could live for two or twenty years. This is what the doctors told him. No one knows for sure how this treatment will work. This is his reality and he has accepted it. He is an artist and it was the chemicals that he worked with that caused his cancer. Now, he still paints without the death-inducing materials. The proximity to death has brought much life to him; one of life’s paradoxes. His faith has deepened and broadened through this experience. He is seeing the face of God in people especially in those whom he least expected. He shared about one particular artist who called him up unexpectedly. She was never close to him and did not even know about his condition. Her call was quite random. They went for a meal together where she shared with him about her encounter with God. My friend was taken by surprise because she was not the religious sort. Now, she goes to a church that is rich with rituals. Besides this, she has stopped doing art altogether. She had been a successful artist previously. She elaborated that her art was her attempt to create windows in the world to seek for God’s face. Now, she can see Him clearly in the lives of those around her. Her art has fulfilled its purpose.

Windows…This resonated with me. Perhaps it would be a perfect name for the ministry we do in the streets. There is a difference. We don’t create the windows. We discover them. Wallace, the children and teens, my friend, everyone around him that makes life beautiful and rich are windows. God opens a window in our world to reveal His Love to us. There are many open windows in this world. We just walk pass them without noticing it. A young man believing that he can learn new things even though he has been told otherwise his whole life. A dying young man living his life to his fullest and discovering joy despite the news of his imminent death. A former artist discovering beauty in things beyond her own artistic creations. Who knows how many windows I have walked passed without peeking into the beauty revealed.

It has been one of those days. We went to streets a little sad about how things were going in our ministry. We return home like the prodigal son with a new understanding how God reveals His love to us. His love is always there. We just need to recognize the windows and gaze into their beauty.

Of course, the greatest joy is then sharing what we see with the rest of the world.

 When Jesus had received the wine, he said, “It is finished.” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

There is a tendency to rush to Easter. People are saying, “Happy Easter”, already which almost sounds inappropriate. Easter is meaningless if we don’t spend time at the foot of the Cross. Christmas is just another commercial event if we don’t understand the Cross. Everything Jesus said and did culminates on the Cross. Easter points us back to the Cross. Christmas points forward to it. If we ignore this event today, then we will never understand the person of Jesus or His ministry.

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday. This is where we begin our walk to the Crucifixion. Jesus was a populist leader. The people adored Him. The gospel tells us that the people wanted to make Him King by force ( John 6:15 ). In a sense, Jesus had the people in the palm of His hands. He was the leader that they desired. However, unlike most populist leaders of this world, Jesus refused this power. This was not the first time he had done this. His whole ministry is marked with his constant rejection of power that the world offered him. It was a constant source of temptation. In the desert, the devil proposed to give Him all the kingdoms of this world if He worshipped the devil. Jesus could have had all the power that he needed to establish Himself as a king. Maybe He could have been a successful leader in this world. Jesus never once said that the devil was lying when he proposed this to Him. Instead, He chose the way of suffering. The crowd would have done anything for Jesus if only He had agreed to be their King. However, this King was not interested in an earthly kingdom established by blood and violence. The disciples offered Him their gift of violence. Jesus shattered their desire to fight for Him by saying, “Put your sword back into its place; for all who take the sword will perish by the sword.” (Matthew 26:52)

Countless of kingdoms have come and gone because they established themselves through the sword. Power in this world is gained through violence. Jesus refused this power. It goes beyond non-violence.He lived out a lifestyle of non-power even though power was within His reach from the very beginning of His ministry.

The people felt useless when Jesus refused their offering. They turned away from Him. His disciples reluctantly abandoned Him. Judas thought perhaps a betrayal might provoke Jesus to see things differently. He was gravely disappointed. He could not bear the fact that this King whom he loved and followed was not the kind of leader he desired. Once again, Jesus successfully defeated the temptation of the devil. He refused to bow down to his ways to win the world over.

The religious leaders demanded a sign from Jesus throughout His ministry. Herod wanted Jesus to perform miracles. Pilate wanted Jesus to say something to defend Himself. Jesus who was known for his miracles, healing and powerful oratory was silent before all his tempters. It was the same temptation the devil proposed when he asked Jesus to throw Himself off the pinnacle of the Temple. The religious and civil authorities were asking the same of Jesus to prove His divine election. He gave the same answer with His persistent silence; “Do not put the Lord your God to test.” (Matthew 4:7)

Jesus had the power to do all the things that the religious and civil authorities demanded. He refused to use this power. Again, He opted for non-power because He refused to succumb to the way of the world which wields its power to convince people of its authority. Jesus did not need to prove Himself to anyone. He could have done it and His life could have changed. Instead, He chose to suffer.

When He was hanging on the Cross, the people mocked Him. Mockery is perhaps one of the vilest sins that exist. It has become a fashionable sin in recent times. It has no place among those who desire to walk in the path of righteousness.
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. (Psalm 1:1)

The people mocked Jesus asking Him to use his healing powers to save Himself from the Cross. It was true that Jesus could heal people and even calm storms and raise the dead. However, He wasn’t going to save Himself. Again, this temptation is an ongoing one in the ministry of Jesus. The devil tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread to meet His physical need. If Jesus had done this, it would be justifiable. On the Cross, Jesus was faced with the need to defend Himself against this crowd of despicable and ungrateful people who take pleasure in the torture and imminent death of an innocent man. Enjoying the torment of someone guilty is abominable and disturbing in itself but these people were beyond redemption. Jesus had the power to pass judgement on them. No one in the past, present or future would blame Him if he unleashed the dormant desire of his disciples to strike in violence against all these people. He had the right to defend Himself. Instead He refused to pass judgement on them to save Himself. His needs were not above God’s will.

“Man does not live on bread alone but every word of God.” (Luke 4:4)

Jesus never put His needs before anyone. Even when they jeered and mocked Him, He did not allow His need for self-preservation or revenge to dominate. It wasn’t because He did not have the power to do it. He chose non-power instead.

On the Cross, Jesus was stripped down literally and spiritually to nothing. The people who followed Him because He was a healer and miracle worker were disappointed. The people who were enamored by His power teachings were disillusioned. The people who wanted Israel to be the center of the world, saw a stumbling block hanging on the Cross. There was nothing left in Jesus. He was just a broken man without any influence or authority in this world. He was just a man who loved and served people with all his heart. He was a man who refused to act like a powerful King and pass judgement on all these wicked people. Instead, He said. “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34). Most of us would beg to differ. They seem to know what they were doing. They were determined to destroy life of an innocent man. However, Jesus spoke the truth from the Cross. These lost souls thought that they were doing something “good”. It happens today still. People act and do despicable things to each other thinking that they are doing something “good”. Some say that it is necessary to do some evil to achieve some good. Truly, we, humans, don’t know what we are doing. The sooner we realize this, the better. Unfortunately we have eyes but do not see, we have ears but do not ear.

The naked man and the naked God hangs on the Cross. A stumbling block to all those who invest their heart and souls in the power that this world offers. Jesus revealed a God who opts for non-power. For many, this God is useless and irrelevant in this world. Perhaps, God does not want to be relevant to this world. However, Jesus was relevant to the Good Thief who suffered next to Him on the Cross. He saw that the non-power of Jesus was truly the only power that prevails in the eternity. All kings and queens and kingdoms and authority will pass away. Their names will be erased and their actions will be forgotten. The Naked Messiah on the Cross will be relevant to the Good Thief for eternity. He only wants to be remembered by this so-called defeated King. The centurion who had spent his career wielding the power of violence was able to see something powerful in the King of non-power that hung on the Cross. He will always be the first and only one to confess the dying King is the true Son of God.

The women and the young disciple at the foot of the Cross only wanted one thing. They wanted the Man whom the loved to be always present in their lives. They did not follow Him because He was a healer or the messiah. They just loved Him. They saw God clearly in His life. Now, they saw God hanging on the Cross. God who chose to suffer rather than wield His power like the political entities of this world.

This is the God that Jesus presents to the world, we either follow His footsteps or join the rest of the crowd and shout, “Crucify Him! “

“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.” Romans 7:19-20

Nothing reveals the true nature of humanity like the liturgy of Palm Sunday. We are complex beings that vacillate between good and evil.

When Jesus walked into Jerusalem, the people rejoiced because they saw the goodness in Jesus. They saw the hope in Him and danced for joy. They saw in Him everything that they desired a King to be. He was the answer to their prayers. The enthusiasm was real. People loved Jesus because He was the symbol of goodness for them. Even today, almost everyone loves everything about Jesus, even atheists. Well, not just Jesus, they also love Buddha, Gandhi, Socrates, …..anyone that is a symbol of goodness and truth. As humans, we need these symbols. They inspire us. They appeal to the goodness that is within us. We desire to be good because instinctively we know our true nature lies in discovering everything that is good and beautiful in this world. Unfortunately, the liturgy of Palm Sunday doesn’t stop here. It leads us to the Passion where the same people who rejoiced in Jesus cast Him out of their lives. They wanted to extinguish the fire that He sparked in their hearts. It is not just Jesus but most of the symbols of goodness have suffered a similar fate.

When the crowds heard everyone shouting, “Crucify Him!”, they had a choice laid out before them. They could have chosen to follow the good that they desired to do or they could have just gone with the flow. We know how the story ends. The ending would be the same if it happened today. The people who yelled, “Crucify Him!”, are just like us. We are weak just like them. We share the same nature. They did the evil that they desired not to do. We do this today constantly. Palm Sunday is a living reality for all peoples. We are always choosing the wrong road.

St. Paul said that it is the “sin” that lives in us that detours us from doing the right thing. The Biblical word for “sin” means “missing the mark”. It is not about offenses that we commit. It exposes a lifestyle that convinces us that we are on the right path even when we actually living and doing things which cloud all things good and beautiful in this world. We embrace lifestyles today which cause us to detach ourselves from those who make our lives rich and wonderful. Our life choices make us suspicious of everyone. Our neighbors are no longer images of God but enemies who want to deprive us of our material gains. At the same time, we desire their fellowship and presence in our lives. We need friends and people to enrich our lives. We resort to drugs or medications or meaningless TV programs to dull the pain of loneliness. We watch movies that promote the beauty of friendship and love in an environment completely isolated from human companionship. Modern people spend so much time and energy in creating a future of contentment while rejecting the joys and wonders of the present life before them. The contradiction of Palm Sunday is not an isolated biblical event. It happens constantly.

If Jesus was here today, He would suffer a similar fate. However, it wasn’t the torture and rejection that made Jesus suffer. This was a small part of His suffering. His major pain came from knowing that the people would choose the worst possible option for their lives in order to go with the flow of the world. He knew that the majority of the people would to choose to ignore the Truth that they sensed in their hearts. They would opt for the lie instead. Jesus suffered because the people whom He loved would prefer death rather than Life. He still suffers today because we still choose death. It is because of sin which dwells in our hearts. It clouds our way of thinking. We are constantly making the wrong decisions. No one is free from this. There are no enlightened ones. We are not better than the rest because we are religious. Most of the people who yelled, “Crucify Him”, were religious. It did not stop them from making the wrong choice.

Thankfully, all is not lost.

No matter how hard the world tries, it cannot silence “goodness”! No matter how much sin tries to deviate us from the path of goodness, it will never have the final word. Goodness is much larger than us. It is more powerful than our will. We cannot domesticate goodness. Death cannot erase the memory of beauty and joy. We still commemorate Palm Sunday even though we know that it is followed by the torture and death of our Lord. It is because we know that torture and crucifixion cannot triumph over Goodness.

This week, we had heavy rain for the most part of the week. Since everything we do in the streets is out in the open, rainy days means that we cannot be with the children. We took this opportunity to visit with Filipe. Just to remind some readers, this is the young man who recently became a father and decided to change his lifestyle completely. He lived in the streets since he was nine. Now, he is working but barely makes enough to support his child and the children of his wife. We visited with him to find out how things going. The first thing he asked of us was if we could be the godparents of his newborn son. This, of course, made our day. However, this is not the main thrust of our conversation. We talked about his time in the streets. We asked about the period of time when he went through depression. He said that during these periods, he felt that there was no meaning in his life and drugs was the only way to numb this feeling of emptiness. He ran away to the streets looking for something better than what he encountered in his home. Unfortunately, he found himself walking down the road to self-destruction. He told us that there were several occasions when he cried out to God to help him find a better way. There was a time when he was so sick that he thought that he was going to die and he pleaded to God to allow him to find some meaning in life before he dies. Everything seemed hopeless and lost for Felipe and then, suddenly a tiny baby gave him a new meaning. He saw something real and concrete before him. He saw God’s goodness in the face of his tiny child. Now, he is the path of reconciliation. He learned to forgive the trauma he suffered in the hands of people who were supposed to protect him. He is listening to the voice of goodness that is present in his soul. Sin is still present but it is weak. It is losing its appeal because it has nothing to offer. However, he knows that he needs to listen to the voice of Goodness to continue in this path. He cannot do it alone. However, he knows that he is never alone.

The next day we went back to the streets. We saw our children and teens sniffing paint thinner so much that they were completely oblivious to our presence. It was a day we spent without anyone approaching us. They preferred self-destruction rather than relationship. Some seemed like they had regressed to a worse state. It seemed like a day that was completely gone and hopeless, like nothing would ever change. Like the day when the sky grew dark and a small group of women stood before a bruised man hanging on Cross. They thought all was lost. However, nothing can overcome goodness.

Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.” (John 12:1-8)

There was really nothing to say. It was really a confession. He told us that he has turned his back on everyone that was precious and important to him. His family and his friends have been hurt and disappointed one time too many. He has made too many empty promises. They have moved and he is still here alone. He misses them dearly. He wished that they were still there for him. He has created a world of lies and illusion and now he feels trapped in it. Drugs and alcohol keep him from seeking help. They numb him into accepting his state of perdition. He always believed that God was with him. However, now he feels that God is silent too. He think that God has given up on him. “I don’t feel like God is with me anymore.” His eyes filled with tears as he shared this. He found it to be unbearable. His tears were for the God who is silent.

We did not want to say anything that would sound like a religious cliché. The moment was too sacred for pat answers. His cry comes from his soul. He needs an answer that can only come from God Himself. We lacked the words that could satisfy his soul. We sat and listened. Maybe it was a time for us to be just there with him and suffer with him in silence, although we cannot imagine his suffering. He feels trapped in a world that he doesn’t understand. He has not found anything that would give the strength he needs to overcome the obstacles before him. Drugs and alcohol are symptoms of a tormented soul looking for meaning in this world. He always believed that he would find what he is looking for one day. He believed that God will reveal it to him. Now, he thinks that even God has given up on him. We were tempted to say, “God would never give up on you.” However, for him, these are just words. He needs something more concrete.

He has been to several drug rehab centers over the years. Every time he believed that he would overcome the addiction. He eventually stopped saying this to himself. This was how we met him the first time. He is a familiar face among the homeless adults. He is young but he is different from the young adults in our ministry. They grew up in the streets. He became homeless in his early twenties. He asked us to help with the bus fare to go to the rehab center. He did not want money. He was honest enough to say that cash in his hands would be converted to drugs or alcohol immediately. He has been always honest. He spent a week in the center and then gave up. To be honest, we knew that he wasn’t going to last in the program. He needs more than a program. He needs a meaning for his existence. Until he finds it, life is going to be unbearable for him.

It is going to take more than a drug rehab program or some method to give anyone living in the streets a reason for living. We have done this ministry before in the mid 90s. We have tried programs and different approaches. They have all failed. Before we returned to this ministry in 2013, I used the above gospel passage as our preaching text. We went to many churches where I boldly proclaimed that Mary, Martha’s sister, was the model for our ministry. She anointed Jesus’ feet with perfume so much so that it’s fragrance filled the room. All eyes were focused on Jesus at this moment. Until then He was a mere guest. Albeit, He was the guest of honor but the attention was not on Him until this moment. Then, I imagined ourselves to be like Mary going to the streets of São Paulo and anointing Jesus’ feet so that all attention would be focused on Him. He is the only one who could give meaning to the lives of these young people and adults in the streets.

When we came back to the streets, we discovered that there were tons of people with the same idea. They were yelling Jesus’ name. They made promises in His name. They said that he could heal. He could restore families. He could perform miracles in the lives of anyone who comes to him. None of these are lies. Jesus could do all these things. They are all promises for someone who wants to look to the future. For those who are suffering, the present and the past are reality whereas the future is a mere dream. Our young man wanted to know the Jesus that was going to be with him in the here and now. He wanted Jesus to say something in his suffering but Jesus remains silent. This is the Jesus whose feet we wanted to anoint. People need to see that even though He is silent, it does not mean that He is absent.

Mary anointed the silent Jesus who contemplated His own pain and suffering. He was preparing Himself for a moment where all would seem as a complete loss and waste of time. He was preparing Himself to experience the sense of hopelessness that haunts those who are abandoned and trapped in a cycle of pain and misery. There are tons of people who want to bring attention to the victorious Jesus. We live in a world where everyone is looking for a formula for success. However, Mary anointed Jesus who was preparing His heart and mind to embrace what the world would consider a complete and utter failure.

Jesus was silently suffering when Mary anointed His feet. His pain was exacerbated with Judas’ false concern for the poor. “You will always have the poor with you”
This is not a license for us to say that it is useless to help the poor. This statement is a sad resignation to the state of the world. It served to add to his pain and suffering. No matter what happens, there will always be people in this world who suffer and are rejected. Even when a large portion of the world claims to be His disciples, there are always people who are constantly being rejected and despised. All these facts confronted Jesus and intensified His suffering. He was silent during the dinner that was held in His honor. He had nothing to say about His imminent death. He only opened His mouth to defend the one person who brought some comfort to His painful soul.

We have been here six years and Mary is still the perfect approach for this ministry. The streets are replete with preachers who proclaim Jesus, the key of successful life. Our down and out children of God are not sure if they can believe in this Jesus. They have heard many formulas of success in these world and the victorious Jesus just sounds like one of the many. They want a “Jesus” who understands the deep sense of hopelessness that they feel in their souls. They want to know the “Jesus” who knows the sense of being trapped in a world that is hostile to them. They want to know the “Jesus” who is vulnerable and suffers with them. They want a savior who knows how to walk with them through this valley of shadow of death.

Alcohol and drugs give a person an illusion of happiness and relief. Most of the homeless adults and children are silent when the effects of these chemicals wear off. Silence is the only way to endure pain and suffering. The young man mistook silence for abandonment. It is understandable. Everyone who speaks about God seems to be always shouting. They make promises that I am not sure God will keep. The only person who broke the silence in the gospel story above was Judas. Mary silently anointed the feet of the One who knows what it means to suffer and face hopelessness. She did not have the answer to the problems of poverty in the world. She knew that the money she spent on the expensive perfume would not resolve the problem of injustice in this world. Therefore, she did what was best for the moment.

We still follow her example. We see the pain and isolation of these young and old people in the streets. We don’t have any magical formulas to solve their problems. We do have one thing. We know that there is One who suffers with them. For many, this does not sound like something practical or concrete. Usually these are the ones who have not experienced desperation and suffering. Judas thought that Mary was wasting valuable resources. However, she was setting an example for the rest of us. We should use our limited resources to draw attention to silent and suffering Christ who is able to give hope to those who suffer in this world.

So the younger son set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.  Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him.(Luke 15: 20-28)

I am the older brother in the parable.

Like most people, I like to imagine myself to be the prodigal son who was received openly and lovingly by the Father. Alas, it is too beautiful an image to forgo. There was a time when I was that son. However, I cannot be the perpetual prodigal son. I came home to be with the Father. Now, I have been living in His household for a while. I enjoy all the benefits of being His child. I also serve in His household. I have more in common with the older brother in this parable now.

It would have been great if Jesus ended this parable with the estranged young man returning home; a perfect happy ending. Instead, Jesus brought the older brother into the story. An happily ever after story becomes a sort of tragedy. The older brother wasn’t happy with the Father’s standard. It seemed to him that his father had none. Before we judge the older brother, we need to ask ourselves how we would feel if God received someone whom we know to be an ungrateful egoistical person as if he was a saint returning home. I am not sure that I would be very enthusiastic with such a reception. The older brother was upset that His Father welcomed with open arms his self-centered younger brother without any conditions. It almost sounds like the Father was into “cheap” grace. The older brother might have done things differently. Unfortunately for him, he was not the owner of the household. He just happened to be privileged to live in His Father’s household; just like anyone of us.

Since the beginning of this year, the number of homeless teens and children has increased. I would say that the numbers have doubled. Unfortunately, many of the newcomers are not necessarily agreeable or charming. Some of them are intimidating and aggressive. They have grown accustomed to the tough life in the streets and adopted a persona that helps them survive in the streets. I understand why they do it. Nevertheless, it makes it hard for us to have any affection for them. To be honest, I don’t really want to spend time with them. I would rather have quality time with the ones we have known for years. They are pleasant and nice; qualities which are lacking in these newcomers. We wait on the steps of the cathedral for the children and I secretly hope that none of these new aggressive ones come to us.

Eric approached us and asked to play a game. He looks like a ten year old but he is at least fifteen and has a face of an angel. A few weeks ago, he tried to set a boy on fire with paint thinner. Then, on another day, he threw paint thinner at random people who walking pass the Cathedral. This chemical is dangerous and can cause serious damage to the skin and eyes. Eric is quite unpredictable and dangerous. He does not show any remorse for his actions. We suspect that he has mental illness. However, we can never be sure because we are not mental health professionals. Today he wanted to spend time with us. Obviously, he is not our first choice. We were waiting one of God’s children to come to us and Eric was the first to approach us. During our time together, I saw some of the other “more pleasant” teens walking by. I was tempted to call them over and then I realized that today God brought Eric to us. Therefore, he deserved our full and undivided attention. We sat and played with him. He stayed with us for a long time, almost our whole time in the streets. This is the first time he has done this. He was calm and peaceful. I know a little bit about his background. I met his mother some years ago. Back then, he used to come the streets occasionally. Recently, the streets have become his permanent home. His mother suffers from severe mental illness. She has two sons and they suffered neglect and abuse in their homes. Both are in the streets. For a short time today, he spent quality time with us. Perhaps God wanted him to know that there are people who would still give him the time and attention that he needed. I was waiting for the teens that I liked but the Father sent Eric to us instead. Maybe, Eric will not remember this time together. With his mental state, it is very possible that he will forget everything. This is not really important in a way. We were given an opportunity to see Eric the way God sees him.

The next day was not any different. Our usual group of teens and children were nowhere to be found. Instead a teenager named Maxwell came up to us. We have known this young man for many years. He always looked grumpy and unfriendly. He never spoke to us all these years but today he wanted to do an activity with us. He asked if we had something to do together. We played a game. He wore his usual grumpy face for a while until Mary said something that made him smile. He stayed with us throughout our time together. He has been in the streets most of his life. He is one of the young people whose whole family are connected with the street life. I know that a documentary crew made a movie about him once. Now we sense that he is tired of being homeless and is looking for something different. As we playing with him the other teens approached us and Maxwell warned them that they need to behave in our presence because we deserve their respect. He was trying to say something to us indirectly.

This week was characterized by interactions with teens and children that I would consider unpleasant. They are people that I would avoid in a normal circumstances. It is easy to only see the negative aspect of these young people because they refuse to show their more vulnerable nature. However, the Father waits patiently for all his children to return to His household. It is open not only to those whom I like. This is not my house. The Father is very indiscriminate. He loves all those who come to Him without imposing conditions. This is our God that Jesus portrays in His gospel. If we live and serve in His household, then we have to learn to love the way He loves. If not, we are just lost souls living in the Father’s household like the older brother of the parable. He was worse off than his young brother who was lost in the world. He was lost because he did not understand His Father’s love whereas the older brother did not want to understand or participate in His Father’s joy.

To my surprise, I enjoyed all my interactions with these difficult teens and children. I saw that Eric was a lost and confused child. He might be unstable but he still desires to be loved. Maxwell is unhappy with life. He was born into this situation. Perhaps there was nothing in his life that brought him joy. All these young people have been nurtured in hatred and anger. Their lives look bleak and empty. The world judges them according to what they see on the outside. I am just like the rest of the world but I do serve a Father who sees the hearts of these teens and children. The Father knows the thoughts and struggles of these difficult children. When He rejoices the return of each wayward child, then we have to trust in the Father’s judgment and rejoice with Him. It is like taking a leap of faith.

In the parable, Jesus never tells us why the young man left His father’s house. The Father never asked why he came back. He was just happy that the younger son realized that His Father’s love is generous enough to receive him. I am the older son. I don’t have to become like the older son of the parable. However, it is important to recognize that the potential is there in me to be like him. It is also good to remind myself that I am just a mere servant in the household of an extravagantly generous God. I cannot change God and expect Him to be only kind and generous to the people that I like. I need to allow God to be God and celebrate His generosity. In doing so, I might also come to realize that it is very generous of God to allow me to participate in His joy of receiving a wayward child back into His home.

I am thankful that Jesus ended the parable with the story of the older brother.

At that very hour some Pharisees came, and said to him, “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.” And he said to them, “Go and tell that fox, Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I finish my course. Nevertheless I must go on my way today and tomorrow and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish away from Jerusalem.”
Luke 13:31-33

We spent a week with our goddaughters. It is a miracle that they are now living here in Brazil now. It was something completely unexpected. The last time we saw them was in Singapore about ten years ago when they were just 3 and 2. Now they are living in the capital of Brazil and old enough to ask serious questions. They know that we are working with children and teens just like them. Since we are their godparents, they sense a close and yet indirect connection with the homeless children. They were curious about them. They are learning that life is not always fair. One of the many questions they asked about was our personal safety. They wanted to know if our lives were in danger. To be honest, I never thought about it. Well, at least, not recently.

They remembered the time when a mentally-ill woman tried to set me on fire. They asked about this. I did not have much to say about it. It seemed a lot time ago. Strangely, I wasn’t traumatized by the event. There was another occasion where a man attempted to kidnap a woman at the steps of the Cathedral where we sit and wait for the children. It ended with a shoot out and two men dead. One of them was a homeless man who happened to be there and made an attempt to rescue the woman. It occurred exactly at the time when we usually meet the children. However, on that particular day, we had to make an emergency trip to the States because Mary’s mother was seriously ill and she died consequently. The death of a loved one saved us from encountering death in the streets.

During the course of the week, we visited a historic church constructed in the 1700s in a tiny UNESCO Heritage town in a state above São Paulo. The entrance of the church bore the words, Memento Mori which literally means “remember death”. It is a forgotten tradition in modernity. It used to be common for the church to remind us of our personal mortality before we enter the sanctuary.

Today, we pretend that death can be overcome if we don’t talk or think about it. The tradition of “Memento Mori” is contrary to this idea. It tells us that death is inevitable and we encouraged to confront it face to face. The vestiges of this attitude is evident in our Ash Wednesday liturgy; “You are dust and unto dust you shall return.” It is a time of repentance which does not mean feeling sorry for our sin. It is changing our lives. The reality of our impending death helps us evaluate the quality of the life we are living. In many cases, repentance is a salvation from wasting our precious moments away.

One of life’s many paradoxes is that our awareness of our mortality helps us live our lives more completely. This Truth is not restricted to Christianity. Epicurean and Stoic philosophies which were prominent in Jesus’ time also came to the same conclusion.

The Pharisee warned Jesus of an imminent death. It is quite simple. The fear of death is universal. Consequently, it is the best way to control the behavior of someone. Governments use it. Religious authorities use it. Your common criminals use it. Businesses use it. People have constructed their lives around fear. We are convinced that if we live in gated communities, our lives will be secure from a certain death. I live in a neighborhood that is dangerous in the evenings. Therefore, our apartment building has a night guard. Everything is there to ensure us that we are safe from death. Jesus Himself, on several occasions, avoided certain places because it was dangerous for him. There is nothing wrong from keeping ourselves safe. However, we cannot stop living our life in order to be safe from death.

Jesus talked about abundant life. Today, many have reduced abundant life to financial well-being. Neither Jesus nor his disciples were affluent but they lived a complete life. They lived a meaningful existence. Jesus was completely aware of who He is. He was a prophet and healer. He was aware of his imminent death which was intricately linked with his ultimate vocation. The fear of death was not going to hinder him from living His life to the fullness. Jesus discovered His significance in this life and it helped Him to overcome His fear of death. We must not forget that Jesus was 100 percent human like us and therefore, He was subjected to all our fears and weaknesses.

Our mortality is scary. Anyone who says that they are not afraid of death is not really telling the truth or are immature. I used to be one of them. I used to think that I could face death fearlessly. Now, I am older and perhaps a little wiser. The reality of death has dawned upon me. This is a good thing. It is helping me discover my life. Jesus never wasted His time on fear because death was imminent. Instead, He spent His time building upon the foundation of Life. He brought Life to those around him. He spoke the words of healing and forgiveness to those who downtrodden by death. His knowledge of His imminent death transformed Him into an agent of Life to those around Him.

In the streets, death manifests itself in different stages. There are people who spend their whole day in a drunken stupor so that they can avoid facing life. Our children and teens use intoxicants to escape their pain and suffering. There is the danger of violence. There is the presence of hatred which seems to be growing stronger each day. However, in this death-inducing environment, God has opened our eyes to see life. While the world tends to act and believe that death is more powerful than life, the gospel proves otherwise. Death cannot hinder the manifestation of Love revealed in the Gospel. However, in order for us to discover this Truth, we have to cast out our fear of death. We cannot allow our fear dominate our actions. At the same time, we cannot create a artificial premise that when we step out in faith and face the dangers of death, we will escape unscathed. Jesus said,
‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. (John 15:20)

Jesus did not escape death but his death brought life to millions. We are all going to die. Therefore, it is essential that we live our lives in a way that promotes life in this world.

Living an abundant life doesn’t mean living a life in the spotlight. It is just living a Life that is meaningful. The world may not notice what we do or how we live. Our names will not be written in history books. It doesn’t matter. All these things don’t matter when we reflect on our mortality. Our time is short and we have to live our lives in the place God has placed us. We need to move forward and trust that God will show us how to live our lives to the fullness.

Sergio is a young teenager with some mental challenges, who has been spending time with us lately. We are not sure if his challenges are organic or consequences of neglect. He used be one of the most aggressive teens in the streets. He used to get into fights daily and some of the teens were even afraid of him. However, he has changed recently. He has been spending more time with us. He has stopped his aggressive behavior and sometimes he sits and waits for us like yesterday. It was raining and he asked if we could do something together and he insisted that we go to a sheltered area. On the way there, he said quite randomly, “You are very special to me. You are like my parents and uncle and aunty.” He stayed and colored with us for an hour. We discovered what it means to have abundant life in the simple words of Sergio. Death looms around the corner but it cannot overcome Life that is found in Love.

Jesus took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning. Two men, Moses and Elijah, appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure,[a] which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem. Peter and his companions were very sleepy, but when they became fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him. (Luke 9:28-32)
The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him. A man in the crowd called out, “Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child. A spirit seizes him and he suddenly screams; it throws him into convulsions so that he foams at the mouth. It scarcely ever leaves him and is destroying him.
(Luke 9: 38-39)

Felipe was already waiting for us when we arrived. It was 7 am. About a year ago, we would have never thought that any of our youth could keep an appointment at this time of the day. Most of them would be sleeping at this time. Survival demands that they stay awake when it is dark and sleep when it is light. Felipe’s life has changed drastically over the past year. The change was gradual. I already wrote about it once but it is worth telling the story again. Some things need to be told several times in several different ways to be fully appreciated.

A year ago, Felipe was using paint thinner and, on occasions, cocaine. Something that he has done since the age of 10. He used to be very shy and insecure. Sometimes he isolated himself from everyone. He once told us that he did not understand why he did this. We suspected depression. Initially, we thought that he would be one of the young people that would spend their whole life in the streets. He always was a very considerate and caring young man but he never showed any desire to seek a different life. The homeless life was the only reality he knew.

A couple of days ago, he called me and asked if he could borrow a small amount of money from me. He only had rice in his tiny room in an abandoned building which was occupied by other squatters like himself. The place is infested with scorpions and his room is dark and noisy. He also has four children to feed from the ages of 3 months to twelve. Three belong to his wife and the youngest is his. However, he is a father to all of them. He will get his first paycheck in a week’s time. He used to beg in the streets to get money for food but now he decided that he needs to change and stop doing this. He repeated several times in the message that he will pay me back right away. For many, this situation would be considered a nightmare. For Felipe, it represented a positive change for him. He has a job. He has a family. He has a responsibility to find a way to feed his girlfriend’s children and his infant son. All this has given new meaning for his existence. It has brought harmony to his once chaotic life.

We brought the money to him and he apologized profusely. He thought that it was a shameful thing to ask for money from us. This was strange because he used to beg for money all the time. However, today he was a different man. In reality, his salary is not going to be enough for him to live on. He is going to need help for a while. We told him that we were glad that he called us. We wanted him to know that God has placed us here to give the support that he needs to find significance in his life. He smiled and said that we were going to make him cry. We did not lend him the money. It was our gift to him which he refused initially. He wanted it to be a loan. Mary explained that we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the kind and generous gifts we receive from people. Therefore, we are merely passing on what we received. He hugged us. Before he left, we made plans to meet him at 7 a.m. in two days time to go the military office. In Brazil, every young man has to register to serve in the army. However, only a few are chosen to serve and the rest have to participate in a special ceremony to swear allegiance to the flag. Only then, they will get the final document allowing them to work. Felipe was lacking this final piece of the bureaucratic puzzle. The company that he was working for cannot officially employ him until he gets this final document. He wanted us to accompany him this ceremony.

The ceremony lasted for a few minutes. We went for breakfast together. Felipe was glowing with hope. He was talking about how he was getting in touch with his father after ten years. His father was in prison for many years. It was the impetus that drove him and his brother to the streets. We never met his brother. He got lost in the judicial system. However, now his father is in a different place. Felipe got in touch with him. It seems like he is getting reconciled with his family. He showed some pictures of his mother and siblings. A older woman sat at the next table and eavesdropped on our conversation. When she heard Felipe talking about his infant child, she finally said that Felipe was too young to be father. He smiled and showed her the picture of his infant child. The old Felipe would have never done this. He would have recoiled from any human contact. We spent the whole morning with him and it was such a spiritually enriching time. It was our moment of the transfiguration where we saw God’s face in the life of Felipe. However, the story doesn’t end here. We have to come down from the mountain.

We saw another young man whom we haven’t seen for years. It was Igor. I wrote about him about five years ago. He was making some progress in his life then. He was beginning to hope for something better. However, we eventually lost contact with him. There was almost a year of complete silence. Today, he surprised us in the streets.

We playing games with the children and he came up to us and asked if he recognized him. It was a joy to see him. He gave the biggest and longest hug we ever received from anyone in the streets. He told us almost immediately that all is not well with him. He has always been honest with us. He told us that his life was complicated now and he was not in a good spiritual place. Obviously he was doing well financially. He was well-dressed and looked very healthy. He asked us if we had lunch. I believe that he wanted to take us out for lunch. However, it was already three o’clock. There was something similar and different about Igor. While we were talking, some of the children were sniffing paint thinner near us. Igor stood up and told them not to do such things near our presence and they needed to respect us. The children and teens put their bottles of paint thinner away and left the area. This was when it was obvious that Igor is connected with the gang. In another circumstance, we would be discouraged with this new development. However, something has changed within us. Maybe Felipe has something to do with this change. We have seen God’s face in Felipe’s life. It has brought reaffirmed hope in us. We are hopeful for Igor. He could have avoided us. Instead he chose to look us up. He wanted us to spend time with us. He made sure that we knew that the time and energy we spent on him was not wasted. He cherishes us. We cherish him too.

Two young men that we have known for a long time. Two young men who have become very important to us. They are both success stories. They know that they have someone who loves them. Felipe is trying to find his way in this world and Igor knows that he has taken the wrong path. They both have to discover how to walk in harmony with God’s presence in this world. They are beginning to discover the right tools. Igor is lost for the moment but he knows that he needs to find his way back. At the present moment things look uncertain and fragile but the same God whom we saw in Felipe’s life is also present in Igor’s life. Both young men need people to remind that God beckons them through love to walk in harmony with Him.

This is our transfiguration encounter this week.

We sit and wait..we sit and wait..we sit and wait. The children and teens come and go. Some never speak to us. Some talk with us. They become our friends. Sometimes drugs and crime snatch them away from us, disrupting our relationship. Thankfully, most of the time, this is only something temporary. Crime and drugs cannot overcome love. We have seen this before. We need to allow things to run their cycle. There is nothing concrete for us to do except to sit and wait.

Sometimes good people have asked us what do we hope to achieve with all this waiting? It is quite a hard question to answer. I am still waiting to find out. At first, I felt little uncomfortable saying this. Now, I have grown accustomed to waiting. Sometimes I see something unfold which makes me want to say, “This is it! This is what we have been waiting to happen!” However, I have learned my lesson. I need to be cautious. I don’t want to grab hold of the first thing that happens to just to show people that we are doing something worthwhile here. We have waited too long to just grab at anything that comes by. All this waiting had not made us desperate. Strangely it has made us more hopeful and joyful. We enjoy waiting for the children. They appreciate having someone waiting for them. Maybe God does not want us to wait for anything. Maybe He just wants us to be. I am not sure about this; we just have to wait and see.

Wallace found us waiting for the teens. Wellington was with him. We have known them both for almost six years. However, Wellington lacked the courage to approach us for a favor. He hardly did anything with us. He was always polite but hardly spoke to us. Among the children, he is known as “Neckless” because his poor posture. I have verified that he does have a neck. He is only known by his nickname in the streets but he wanted us to only address him as Wellington. Wallace was going to be advocate. Wellington thought that we would help him if Wallace put in a good word for him. His request was simple. He wanted to get all his documents*. He was in the detention center for selling drugs. Now, he is sick and tired of that life. As soon as he was released, he walked into a store almost randomly and asked the owner if he needed someone to run errands. He was honest with the owner and told him about his criminal past. Now he wanted a chance to work and leave all criminal activities in the past. The man decided to give him the opportunity. He has seen Wellington before. However, he needed all his documents to work. In Brazil, before you work, you need about five documents from different governmental agencies. The children and teens usually have none. They don’t even have their identity cards. Usually parents help their children to navigate through the complex bureaucratic process. For teens and children in this streets, the very idea of entering these government buildings paralyzes them.

We went to all the agencies with Wellington. It gave us a lot of quality time with him. He told us about his mother who is crack addict. She was never able to do anything for him. He had to fend for himself since he was a little child. Now, he wants to do things the right way. He was determined. He was grateful for our help and relieved that everything went well. He gave us a big warm hug for helping him.

A few weeks later, another teenager Renan came up to us. He had the same request. He told us that Felipe and Wellington told him that we could help him. Renan also found a job. He was going to deliver periodicals. He was another teen that hardly spoke to us. The most significant interaction I had with him was an altercation. We were doing an activity with teens and he kept interrupting to ask one of the teens for drugs. I spoke to him firmly not to interrupt, perhaps a little too strong. He understood that I was upset with him. He came the next day wanting to know if we would play a game with him. After a short game, he got up and left with a big smile on his face. He knew everything was fine between us. It was his way of apologizing. This was months ago. After this incident, he hardly spoke to us. Now, he wants to work. He wants a new life.

Renan asked if we could help with all the documents. He admitted that he was little unsure about doing it on his own. It was the first time he really opened himself up to us. We discovered a shy and insecure ten year old hiding in his 18 year old body. We went to the respective offices and the lady attending to us asked me if he was my son. It was a strange question. We don’t look anything like each other. Besides, a lot of social workers help people with their documents. Therefore, what was the difference in our situation? Perhaps, all the years of sitting and waiting has created some spiritual bond between us and the children that is apparent to those on the outside. I don’t know, maybe it is just wishful thinking.

Renan “reported” to Felipe that we helped him. Then we receive a call from Felipe. His infant son is in the hospital. Felipe just became a father and the child has transformed his life. He started work this week. He still hasn’t got all his documents. One is still missing. He needed our assistance. We met him and he told us about his new work. He is very excited that he has a job. The pay is extremely low; hardly enough to pay for two weeks of food. Felipe doesn’t seem to care. For him, this is a victorious change in his life. He is taking his first step in becoming a responsible father. Felipe is feeling hopeful about life, not just Felipe, but Wellington and Renan. They don’t have to beg or steal or engage in any criminal activity anymore. A new horizon has opened for them. They are going forward. They are doing it by helping each other. They carefully looked at all the resources available to them and created their own network of hope. They found their jobs on their own. They did not have a problem asking the owners stores for jobs because they have known them over the years. They begged or loitered in front of their stores. They did not have a problem approaching us to do the work of their parents. They have seen us sitting and waiting for them. They finally found a place for us in their network of hope.

Perhaps, we misunderstood this waiting part. We thought that we were waiting for something to happen but in reality, God wants us to wait for the children to find a place for us in their lives. They want us to be in their lives and thankfully we were there sitting and waiting precisely at the moment when they needed us. Today, we might be helping them face the challenges that they fear; tomorrow, it might change. We just have to sit and wait and discover what role we will play in the future. In the meantime, the waiting feels hopeful and joyful.