Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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Difficult Symbols

“Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live forever.” He said these things while he was teaching in the synagogue at Capernaum. When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?” -John 6:56-60

Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him.  So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?”- John 6:66-67

Bruna and Wanderson went to Mass.

I feel like I am starting this in the middle. The beginning is a little strange and perhaps may seem even a little unrelated. However, this is the way I began in my reflection. Therefore, I am going to start the way my meditation began. In a convoluted way, it has something to do with the disturbing words of Jesus.

His words brought me back to 1993, my first time in Brazil, before I started working with the children. I walked passed a store with a sign that said “religious artifacts”. A statue of an elderly black gentleman dressed in a white suit smoking a pipe stood at the entrance. My curiosity was perked. I walked in and discovered a completely different religious world. Everything in the store was connected to worship but apparently nothing was directly related to Christianity. There were deities of all shapes and sizes and they appeared to be of African origin tinged with some European influence. There was a statue of St George, at least that’s what it said. It was nothing like the ones I have seen in the church’s stained glass windows. The old Black Man in white suit was apparently very important. He was represented in many of the images. There was a deity with a ferocious dog-like face which reminded me of a personality in Indonesian folklore. The most unsettling one was the figurine that looked very much like the devil of our imaginations, all red including the horns. I had to ask about this particular one. The store owner said that he just sold the items and denied any knowledge of its significance. He wasn’t very convincing. However, I did not want to pursue it. I left the shop convinced that satanic worship was alive and present in Brazil. Now, I am a little older and slightly ashamed that I jumped to such conclusions, not to mention, that such an attitude is also disrespectful. Thankfully, I kept my opinion to myself. I still don’t know what all the deities represented. I will never understand it because it is not my religion or my faith. They have a mythology where all these symbols and personalities fit in perfectly. I can read about them but I will always remain an outsider. They will always seem strange and unnerving to me but it doesn’t make them evil. I don’t remember anywhere in the gospels Jesus going around passing judgments on other religions. However, Jesus did do something quite disturbing. He told us that unless we become like cannibals we cannot be part of Him. At least, this is what it would sound like to an outsider. It is easy to jump to conclusions when you are an outsider.

Now, I can go to back to Bruna and Wanderson. They went to Mass. They heard the words, “Take and eat, this is my Body” and “Drink, this is my Blood which was given for you.” They went to a Roman Catholic Church where doctrine teaches that the Bread and Wine in a mysterious way become the Body and Blood of Christ. They take the words of Jesus quite literally. Different branches of Christianity have tried to tone down it and make His words more feasible. Something which our Lord Himself refuses to do. Instead, He intensified it. He said, “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him” (John 6:56). The word, ‘eat’ in original Greek could mean to gnaw. Jesus was really putting a lot of emphasis on chewing and eating of His body. The part still makes us cringe a little bit if we think about it deeply. However, Bruna and Wanderson heard these words and they did not feel uncomfortable. It made sense to them because they were not outsiders. It is not that they were ignorant of its implications. These words are very simple and extremely profound. Their meaning is never lost to those who have ears and eyes to see the Truth. They did not need to have access to sophisticated theological explanation to make sense of everything. I am not sure if most theologians understand the true significance of Jesus’ words. Wanderson and Bruna understood what was offered to them. Perhaps, if I asked them to explain it to me, they would be lost for words. However, they knew that Jesus was offering something marvelous to them. Jesus was inviting them to become part of His body.

They went to Mass, not because they were forced into doing it. They noticed that some Franciscan friars were saying mass in the public square. It was open to everyone. Bruna wanted to go and Wanderson agree to go with her. They stayed until the end. I am not sure if they partook in the Communion. They never said much about it. They just wanted us to know that they went to Mass.

The following day, I was reading with Wanderson. After we got done, he stood up and approached a homeless man whose arms and legs were bandaged. He looked as if he had suffered a very bad accident. Wanderson sat next to him and whispered something to him gently. He wasn’t aware that I was paying attention to his actions. They spoke for a few minutes and then he came back to where I was. He did not say anything about his conversation. Then few days later, there was another homeless man who was clearly mentally-ill and looked very much lost in the streets. Wanderson did the same thing again. He got up and approached the man and spoke to him. This time I had to ask. He told me that the Mass he attended was to give thanks for the inauguration of a new shelter for homeless adults. He wanted these people to know that there was a place for them to be safe. He said that he encountered a homeless man the day before who was initially quite aggressive towards him and then later when he calmed down, he asked Wanderson’s help to find the shelter. Ever since the mass, he has been on the lookout to help homeless adults who seem lost and helpless in the streets.

I don’t know if they partook in the communion. However, Wanderson encountered something good and wonderful and now he looks for people with whom he can share this goodness. It is almost as if Jesus is manifesting Himself in Wanderson’s life to those who suffer and are lost. Just recently, he asked me if I go to Mass every day. I said no. The conversation ended there and he did not explain why he asked the question.

Jesus did not come to be our Teacher. He came to offer Himself so His Life can shine through us. It is more than being like Him. Jesus wants His body and blood to dwell in us. Actually, the opposite is true. He wants us to dwell in Him. To an outsider, these just sounds like words of a crazy person. Someone who hears these words and some how understands their true meaning can agree with St Peter when he responded to Jesus, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”- John 6:68-69

You don’t have understand everything as long as you sense in your soul that there is Life in these words.

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The Bread of Life

No one can come to me unless drawn by the Father who sent me; and I will raise that person up on the last day. John 6:44

We have had only random and brief encounters with her. It would be safe to say that we have seen her less than five times throughout our time here. When we first met, she was 14. She had just got out the youth detention center. She was caught for stealing. She did not look like the kind of person who would steal or do anything bad. She has an open face; it is radiant and joyful and full of life. It was hard to imagine that she would be able to engage in any crime. On the other hand, it is hard to imagine why a child like her would be in alone in the streets. Such is life and there is not much benefit lamenting about the states of things. We don’t want to get bogged down with these abstract discussions. This story is about a real person named Camila.

It was easy to talk with Camila. Our first conversation was brief. We hardly spoke about anything of substance. She told us that she was released from the detention center to a shelter. This was the only thing I remember. Her friends came almost immediately and away she went. We did not see her again until about two years later.

This time she had grown a lot. She was taller than me but her face was still childlike. She approached us. Our first meeting was so short that it was impossible for us to recognize her after all this time. This was her first question. She wanted to know if we remembered her. To be honest, we could not recall her name but her face looked familiar. She was not offended. She reminded us and shared that she was doing well in a shelter for teenagers. She just came by the streets to visit some of her friends. She assured us that she was not going back to live the streets again. She did not stay long. There was a curfew at the shelter.

We met in two different occasions after this and they were very recent, perhaps earlier this year. She is 18 now. She is out of the shelter because she was officially an adult. We ran into her as she was getting all her documents together on her own. She told us that she found a place to stay. It was a small artisan community that occupied an abandoned historic house. They sell their art from time to time and do some social projects. We visited the community before. It was a good place for her. She told us that she got all her documents together so that she could go back to school. She was determined to complete her education. She described an incident in her attempt to register in a school. The lady at the counter was rude and disrespectful to her. She told her that she could not register for classes because she lacked certain documents. Camila decided that she wasn’t going to get upset. Instead she addressed the woman in a dignified manner and asked what she was lacking and went on to get these documents. She told us that she was determined to move forward and no one or nothing was going to make her give up. She showed us all the document she got and Mary helped her organize them in an orderly manner. Camila smiled and said that we are always so affectionate towards her. It was strange because we hardly spent any time with her.

The last time we saw her was when my sister was here visiting from Australia. We were on our way to where the children were and ran into Camila. She found a job in a hair salon and she was on her way home to have lunch. She saw us and gave us hug, she even hugged my sister. Everyone that is connected to us is her friend. I introduced my sister to her and Camila told her that we were a tremendous help to her. We tried to correct her and said that we hardly did anything for her. She achieved these things on her own. She disagreed. She insisted that we helped her. It was good for our ego but it is not the truth. At the same time, I understand what Camila is trying to say.

I was talking to another friend about Camila. He was once involved in a team that ministered to sex workers. The owner of a brothel invited them to have a religious service on the premises. It is best not to ponder too much on this complex invitation. It is enough to say that there was a prayer service among sex workers. Almost everyone attended except for one young woman. She was mostly indifferent and sometimes even hostile. My friend and his team thought that she was a lost cause and hardly paid any attention to her. Interestingly, today she is the only one from the brothel that left the lifestyle and now goes to church regularly. She credits the team for her transformation. My friend thinks otherwise. She transformed the way he thought about ministry and God. It is God who draws people to Himself and not our efforts or talents. We have nothing to do with what God does in the streets. Maybe some will find this hard to accept in practice. We want to believe that we can make things happen. However, nothing can be done if God doesn’t do it first.

We are not the Bread of Life. We are not the purveyors of the Truth. We are not the solution to the problems of abandonment and isolation. We don’t have what it takes to change people’s lives. Someone who thinks that all these things are within their power are gravely mistaken and they will reap the fruits of disappointment. Strategies, programs and good preaching do not produce the Bread of Life or life itself for that matter. These are our feeble attempts. Only God can draw people unto Himself. Therefore, the question is what is our role in all of this? Camila and the young lady in the brothel encountered life without any contribution from our part. We might wonder if it is even necessary for any of us to do anything since God is doing such a excellent job by Himself. Well, God definitely doesn’t need us to do anything but He invites us to be present when He acts. Besides, if we have tasted the Bread of Life, it would only make sense that we want to present where Life abounds.

Camila was born into a world that gave her nothing but death. She was rejected by her family. She never mentions her family. They are completely out of the picture. She was sent to a prison cell without any windows when she was only fourteen. Everything she experienced was pointing towards death. However, she encountered life in the valley of the shadow of death. Her ears were attentive to the voice of the Good Shepherd who guides her continuously. She constantly acknowledges God’s guidance upon her life. Camila and the lady that my friend encountered at the brothel are miracles. They reveal to us the power of the gospel. Camila believes that we helped her. We did absolutely nothing but God used us. We don’t know how. Perhaps she could see that it was the Bread of Life that has brought us here. Only God’s grace can do such things.

It is normal for us to wonder if we are doing anything substantial when we try to reach out to people. I am not talking about just us. I am talking about all of us who have partaken in the Bread of Life. The answer to this is that is not relevant. We are not the ones who draw people to Jesus. Everything is done by the Spirit.
The Spirit of God brings us to places and people and more often than not we might find ourselves not knowing what to say or do for them. Maybe we are mistaken in thinking that we are supposed to do something. Maybe the Life that flows in us wants to shine for these people and give them the hope that they are always included in the banquet where the Bread of Life is graciously served. Maybe each person that has tasted the Bread of Life is like an invitation card to those who hunger for eternity in this world. We just need to be present and let the Life that dwells in our soul do the rest.

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Herod like Me

And he solemnly swore to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.” She went out and said to her mother, “What should I ask for?” She replied, “The head of John the baptizer.” Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. Immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl. Then the girl gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.- Mark 6:23-29

Socrates said that the people who commit vile and despicable acts are to be pitied and not hated. They are powerless to do what they ultimately desire. They want to have a complete life but they end up destroying everything good in their path.

To be honest, I find it easier to dislike and despise them because I want to distance myself from them. It is just human nature. We think that if we have strong negative emotion against someone, we create a distance between us and them. We want everyone to know that we are not like them. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work this way. Hate always produces more hate. When we hate someone for being hateful, then we are just following in their footsteps. This is why Jesus showed us a way out of this conundrum. He taught us to love our enemies. His attitude is more active and powerful than that of Socrates. When we pity someone, we are still being condescending. Love means that we are willing to see the other person as a fellow human being, or even as a reflection of ourselves. Someone just like us. Herod is someone just like us. This should be our starting point when we reflect on the above passage from the gospel.

Herod was a conflicted person. He wanted to do whatever he desired because he thought that he knew what was good for him. Yet, he was drawn to John the Baptist, the purveyor of Truth. Herod recognized that John was a holy and righteous person who always pointed out that he was on the path of self-destruction. He found listening to this disagreeable prophet to be comforting, despite the fact that he continued in his misguided path. Paul described this attitude in a concise manner in Romans 7:19,

“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.”

However, Paul was not talking about Herod when he wrote this. He was talking about our human nature. Herod thought that he had power and authority but in reality he was a helpless and weak soul. He could not do what he knew to be the right thing to do. If we are able to look deep into our soul, we would realize that this story could be about us. If we had the power and authority like Herod, we might fall into the same trap. Thanks be to God, we are not given authority and power to act as we please. These things only made Herod believe that he had something to prove and he ended up killing the only one that truly cared for his soul.

“For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” -Matthew 16:26

John lost his life but Herod lost his soul.

Herod was truly the person who lost everything in this story. Unless we can see this clearly then we can never to be truly effective Christians in this world. However, if we cannot see beyond the vile act of Herod to perceive his lost and helpless soul, then we have nothing to say to the world. We will be just plain self-righteousness people like the Pharisees whose spirituality Jesus admonished us to surpass. It is not our prerogative to judge Herod or anyone for that matter. Our vocation is not to judge but to love. We must look at Herod and see ourselves in him. We must recognize that we are just as lost and helpless like him. We must see that we are vulnerable to the temptations that he faced. We are also prone to be tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine just like him. When we admit this about ourselves, then we can see that it is only by the grace of God that we can be see all these things about ourselves. It is the grace of God that gives us the strength to press on the follow the footsteps of our Lord.

This story is not about judging but instead it is about compassion and love. To love someone like Herod is not easy. Frankly speaking, even as I write this, I would rather hate him than love him. This alone makes me realize that I am not worthy to pass judgment on him. This confession is not an act of humility but just a honest assessment of myself required by vocation. Therefore, Jesus was right about warning us not to judge anyone. I don’t have the capability or the maturity or wisdom to judge anyone. However, I can love someone like Herod, as long as I am willing to admit that I am just like him in many ways. The only difference between Herod and I is God’s grace. I don’t know why Herod was not able to respond to His grace and I am not sure why I did. It has nothing to do with my own merits that I can boast about. It is all an undeserved gift from God.

I wondered what this reading was going to teach me in the beginning of this week. Now I realize that it contains an indispensable lesson. I am not here in the streets because I am better than our homeless children and teens. It is easy to think this way especially when we compare our social and educational differences. This attitude is quite a subtle one. Many people who serve the less fortunate think that they are better than those whom they serve. It is social convention that prevents them from expressing it. Thinking that we are better gives us a false sense of power and authority. It is better to discard this attitude. It leads to the path of self-destruction. Besides, we can’t do anything valuable or special from this artificial view of ourselves. Loving our neighbor as ourselves is better way. It means seeing that we are just like them.

I look at Wanderson, Bruna, Gabriel and Dreyson. These are the teens we had the most contact with this week. I realized that if I was born into their families and given the same things as they given, I would be in the streets just like them or maybe even worse. Yet, I was given much and now God’s grace has revealed this to me. I am not more blessed than them. I have been given God’s grace to see that I have a role to play in their lives and they have one in mine. Together, through the grace of God, our lives can become richer. Herod used his power and authority to bring death upon himself. By the grace of God, we don’t have to follow his footsteps.

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We will only settle for Encounters

Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, ‘Who touched me?’” He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”- Mark 5:30-34

The most anticipated word blared out from the obnoxious speakers: “Goaaal!”. It unleashed joyous dancing and screaming among the crowd and we were in the heart of it. There wasn’t much room to dance so everyone just jumped up and down. We were doing it as well, rather involuntarily. All our bodies were so pressed together that we had to follow the rhythm of everyone just to avoid falling to the ground and being trampled. Mary looked a little concerned, maybe even afraid. To think that all this was our idea. Wanderson stood behind us. He was the only teen that was willing to watch the game with us. I thought that it would be good for the children and teens to experience something different. They are always outsiders to all the public events in the city. I thought that they should not miss watching the public screening of the Brazilian team playing in the World Cup. It only happens once every four years. We invited all of the children but only Wanderson was willing to come. Now, I have my doubts. Vulgarities were heard all around. People were saying obscene things about the opponents. Sportsmanship was absent. Our homeless children look like model citizens compared to this lot. Maybe it is better for their souls to be outsiders to all these events.

Mary was not thinking about any of this. She was afraid that any moment now there would be a stampede. Half-time came and we decided that it is best for us to leave. Then came the tough part, navigating our way through bodies pressed together. It required lots of gentle pushing and burrowing through a mass of bodies. As I tried to make my way through the crowd, Wanderson grabbed hold of my hand and held it tightly. He was holding Mary’s hand in the same way. It took us a while but we finally made it through to the exit. Wanderson smiled and told us that he wasn’t that interested in the game anyway. However, he just wanted to come because we invited him.

Being in the middle of a rowdy crowd, just like in the gospel text. It is almost like I planned this event so that I could write about it. I did start the week thinking about the healing of the old woman. I wasn’t think about the crowd or being in a situation as such. My mind was on the woman. She pushed her way through the crowd to have the experience of healing. She wasn’t interested in the person of Jesus per se. He was just a means to an end. All she wanted was to be healed. She had a strong faith in the power of Jesus. So much so that she believed that anything close to His body was permeating with His healing power. This is quite an incredible faith. Unfortunately, it was still immature. It was childlike and childish at the same time. She only wanted to experience healing. Jesus was just a thing to her until Jesus opened the door for her to encounter Him.

There was another episode in the gospel of Luke where ten lepers were healed and only one came back to thank Jesus (Luke 17:11-19). To the one that came back Jesus said, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.” They were all healed from leprosy but only one was truly healed. All of them sought Jesus for healing but for the nine, Jesus was merely a means to an end. Only one saw Jesus as a Person. He was the only one who had a genuinely mature faith. The old woman was blessed in a way. Jesus did not allow her to follow the footsteps of the other nine. He wasn’t going to allow her to leave with a mere experience of healing. He wanted her faith to mature.

Perhaps we can wonder why Jesus made exception for this woman. There was a large crowd following Him, everyone searching for some sort of experience with Jesus. We will never know for sure what makes this woman stand out. Maybe it is because she was a woman. In His society and in present times as well, women are often treated a means to an end. She saw Jesus in the same way because it was the only way she was conditioned to deal with people. The old woman also lost everything including her dignity. It is possible that she thought that all she was worthy of was a mere experience and not a genuine encounter with Jesus.

Experience and encounter are not interchangeable. The former is limited. It is just a more like an emotional event in the sense that it doesn’t change who we are. In the religious environment, there has been a lot of talk about experiences. We are left with a spirituality that reeks with sentimentalism. The nine lepers experienced healing and they still remained ungrateful people. People can have a wonderful experience in a spiritual retreat and not necessarily change anything in their personal lives. People can have a wonderful missionary experience and still not change their outlook of life or treatment of others. This is where it gets interesting for me. I have been spiritually imprisoned in an experience-oriented missionary idea for a long time. Now I am learning to understand what it means to have an encounter. I find that these moments are always transforming how I see life in general.
We brought Wanderson to watch the game because we wanted him to have an experience. At the end of the day we had an encounter instead.

Encounters are not sensational. The soccer event that we attended had huge screens with large speakers. There were decorated stands selling food and drinks. Brazilian flags were flown everywhere and everything was geared towards creating a wonderful soccer experience. However, Wanderson held our hands tightly. This is a seventeen year old boy and he wanted to hold our hands because he felt secure. After we got out of the crowd, he asked me to bring a game of checkers the next day. He wanted to play a quiet game with us. Nothing spectacular here except that we were like parents to a boy who was abandoned in an orphanage at a very young age. All his life, he created a fantasy family. He often told us unbelievable stories about his family which were a poignant reminder to us about the loneliness that these children sense in their hearts. Recently, he has stopped with these stories. He has began to spend more time with us too.

God gives us encounters when we least expect them. It is easy to miss them if our focus is just on accumulating experiences. Albeit, these are easy to fabricate whereas encounters requires us to wait. They don’t come to us by our efforts but are graciously given to us. The woman was happy to be healed but God’s grace made Jesus stop and ask who touched him. She could have left the scene and been happy with her healed body. However, her encounter with Jesus transformed her. Jesus called her daughter. She was God’s daughter, not an abandoned old woman cursed with an illness. She belonged to God. Jesus pointed out that she had the faith to believe this but social conditioning had made her to think otherwise.

I believe that every encounter is a step towards understanding that we are truly God’s daughters and sons. Wanderson’s desire to hold our hands tightly is a response to God’s prompting in his heart that he belongs to someone. He is not alone or lost in this world. He held our hands. We are part of this physically. We are connected to him. It is a privilege God has given us. Not only us, we know that there are people praying for him too. They are also part of being a symbol of acceptance and love for Wanderson. Our experience at the soccer event will be forgotten in weeks to come but our encounter with Wanderson holding our hands like a little child will be remembered for eternity because it is a gracious gift from God.

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As God Slumbers

But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”-Mark 4:38-40

It has always been there but I never paid any attention to it. I was too distracted by the storm. The miracle overshadowed my reflection. I thought I understood what Jesus meant by lack of faith. Now, everything seems little different; I listened to the story instead. I did not try to impose my ideas on it. Just listened to it and heard the plea of the disciples, “Do you not care that we are perishing?” Then I looked around and realized that the same plea was once uttered by our children and teens.

Our ministry is with children and teens whose world came tumbling down. Most of them found to be God to be silent or “sleeping” while they felt desperate and lost. In their hearts, they believed that God must not care if they perished. Their passage to the streets is a symbol of resignation. They got tired of waiting for God to wake up. They believe that they are on their own in this life. However, none of them would ever verbalize it. It would have been better if they followed the examples of the disciples and cried out to God, “Do you care that we are perishing?” Instead they carry in their souls this poignant thought that they are alone and rejected even by the only One they hope could save them. Perhaps, this is our task here. Perhaps it is our responsibility to help and encourage them to say the words of the disciples. It was these words that woke Jesus from His slumber.

For years, I have heard and even preached a few sermons myself about the lack of faith in the disciples. However, I did not really understand what was exactly missing in their faith. I used to think that they lacked the faith to believe that Jesus could calm the storm. If this was the case, then it would be unfair of Jesus to rebuke them. No one in their right mind could have imagined this from a religious leader. Whenever there is a hurricane approaching in a given place, no one in their right mind is going to heed a religious leader asking people to stay put and pray the storm away. We expect to evacuate to a safer place because it is the wise and right to do. God has given us the wisdom to act accordingly. Besides, Faith is always in accordance with wisdom but not human reasoning. The latter is limited but wisdom is open and universal. This is where the disciples failed. They used their reasoning. They judged Jesus by the circumstances, not allowing their faith to inform them. Faith produces wisdom. They were companions of Jesus. They had seen Him heal and teach and interact with the people. Yet they doubted whether He cared for them. A simple storm doesn’t change His nature or character. We cannot allow one circumstance or incident to define who God is.

Jesus slept peacefully.

In most situations in our lives, instead of sleeping, we could say God was silent. What the disciples failed to understand is that silence doesn’t mean absence. Jesus was in the boat with them. Perhaps, for many, this does not suffice. Many don’t want a God who suffers with them but One who resolves all their problems. Some churches promote this false ”God”. They claim that our faith can make everything calm and tranquil in our lives. This is a god doesn’t exist. The atheists and agnostics have come to disbelieve in this conjecture. This false teaching also reduces faith into some kind of special and magical tool to get what we want. Whereas the gospel teaches that faith reveals to us the nature of God. It reveals to us a God who chooses to suffer rather than resolve all our problems. It is a God who looks at life from the perspective of the one who is rejected and suffers. Why suffer and not solve the problems and end suffering? Well, God truly has the choice in this matter and He makes an option to suffer. I can’t say any more than this. God is God and He has made His choice. Jesus would rather be sleeping in the boat on brink of destruction than to be safe on shore. If we want to discover this Jesus, then we need to be on the boat amidst the storms of life. We need to be with those whose world is tumbling down. Then we discover some wonderful things about our God.

“Do you care that we are perishing?”

It is not wrong to ask God this question. I think that it would be wrong for me to try to answer it. It is a question only God can answer. However, we cannot know God intimately if we have not asked this question. I am sure that most of us felt moments when we thought that God is either sleeping or not interested. It is not a question that goes unanswered. The answer comes from faith and faith comes from God; not forgetting that it is also part of wisdom.

Those who have received the answer know where their place is in the world. It is not in safe shores but in the boat in the midst of the storm where people feel abandoned and hopeless. While we cannot say why God is silent but we can testify to the fact that He is always present, perhaps even through our presence. This is our hope and prayer for our children and teens living in the streets.

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Unexpected Encounters in Uninteresting Places

Jesus also said, “With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable will we use for it? It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth;  yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes the greatest of all shrubs, and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.”-Mark 4:30-32

Things overlooked and perhaps even ignored. These are the things that Jesus used to reveal the nature of the Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God is like…someone sowing seeds…a night lamp…a plant that grows in silence…tiny black seeds. It is like everything that doesn’t sound remotely exciting. The squeaky wheel gets the grease but not so with the Kingdom of God. It is quiet and subtle. It is a challenge for us who are impressed with the loud and ostentatious things. Jesus invites us to look at unassuming things and see the Kingdom of God striving and bearing much fruit.

I chose to focus on the parable of the mustard seed. I don’t really know why, after all, it occupies a minute role in His teachings on the Kingdom of God. Perhaps, it is because I am familiar with the spice. I am familiar with its smallness. I am always attracted to small things. Maybe it reveals my lack of ambition. I have always been a pastor to small churches. There are more of them than large ones. When we think about it, the world is made of small uninteresting things. The big and the spectacular are a rarity. Small and mundane things abound in everyday life. People try to escape these boring things. Jesus points us to them. He says that they can teach us about the Kingdom of God.

I spent the first part of the week looking for something to relate our ministry to this parable. I found nothing despite the fact that it was quite an exceptional week. There were many moments when we stopped playing games or any activities and just talked. Nothing of great interest. For a regular person, our topics of conversation might seem dull and pointless. I won’t write anything about them. I want to keep your interest. However, for us, treasures are often found in uninteresting places.

These conversations are a sign that we are growing as a family. The children feel free to talk about whatever comes to their minds just like in a regular household except that we are in the streets. Sandro made a comment a while ago that he feels like he can share his dreams and thoughts with us without being judged or ridiculed.
Unfortunately, with all these good conversations, I still could not find anything to connect us the parable of the mustard seed. I realized that I was looking for something special to occur so that the parable of the mustard seed would shed light on the situation. I was looking for something contrary to the mood of the parables on the Kingdom of God. I neglected the simple and obvious things in life.

I missed the point of Jesus’ teachings. It is such a dangerous place to be; trying to reason out a biblical text while missing out on its essential meaning. I was looking for something spectacular and inspirational to write about God’s kingdom. I was waiting for it to happen, not realizing that it was already there. The Kingdom of God is real and present in the common and everyday things of life. I saw it and yet I did not perceive. I heard it but I did not listen. So I will start again…this time I will be more attentive to the Holy Spirit

This was an exceptional week. Nothing new or spectacular happened. We just played games and talked with the children and teens. We had great conversations. Then I noticed a young woman walked by and she saw our little group sitting on the floor of a square. We were a strange lot but I could see in her eyes that she understood that it was a family. She smiled. It wasn’t an ordinary smile. It was a smile of recognition that goodness and love prevailed in this world. She transmitted her love and happiness to us without saying a word. On the same day, a man walked by with bags of vegetables. His demeanor informs us that he is what we consider in this city as the extremely poor. Most likely he lives in one of the abandoned buildings in the center. He stopped where we were and started fixing his bags of vegetables. He was evenly distributing the vegetables in his many bags. Then he approached us and gave us one of the bags. My initial reaction was to refuse. He needed it more than me. It was strange that he offered it to us. Maybe he thought that we were a homeless family. This is not a bad thing. Then again, maybe we need to start dressing better. Danyel was with us and accepted the bag of vegetables. The man happily gave it to him. He just wanted to share the little he had received. I was a little surprised that Danyel wanted a bag of shredded cabbage and lettuce. To my surprise, within a few minutes, some of the children got salt and vinegar from the restaurants and ate all the vegetables. They actually liked it. Then another man approached us. He is a lawyer. The children and teens knew him. He helps them whenever they have a problem with the Law. He wanted to introduce himself to us. He told us that he has seen us often. We had never seen him before. He gave me his card and said that he was willing to help any time the children or teens needed help. Then, more people walked by and smiled. They were genuinely happy to see our little gathering in the streets.

It was strange because this was really the first time that I noticed the number of people who took notice of our little group. They communicated their love through smiles and sometimes they would stop and talk with us for a few minutes. They would ask about the game and if there is a pet in the midst, they would talk about it. They want to connect with us. We feel blessed when we sense their love. Nothing spectacular, nothing that would be newsworthy in the eyes of the world. However, it is enough to reveal to us that the Holy Spirit is in our midst. The Kingdom of God is not a place or an institution. His Kingdom is made of regular and common people. They are people caught up with the demands of everyday life. Sometimes they can’t find the time or energy to give and share their love as much as they would like. However, they are still able to plant a seed of love here and there. Time is not a gift that they have. These people walked by without realizing their smiles and kind gestures are registered in the hearts and minds of the little family in the street.

Loud and ostentatious things brag about the chaos. Jesus calls us to pay attention to the subtle and eternal Kingdom of God growing in the hearts and minds of His children.

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Inevitable Changes

…and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.”- Mark 3:20-22

Everyone thought that Jesus was out of control. His relatives wanted the old Jesus back, their simple carpenter relative. It seems like even the virgin Mother wasn’t sure what was going on with Jesus. Maybe she did not like things to change too fast. The spiritual authorities wanted things to remain as they were. For them, any change was perceived as diabolical especially when it didn’t benefit them. Many obviously were happy for these new things. New doors were opened to them. They were no longer outsiders. They were considered part of a greater family as long as they kept their eyes focused on God. The presence of Jesus divided the people. There were two groups.

Nothing has really changed.

“The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.”- G.K. Chesterton

This is not a post on politics but it is about changes.

Changes, especially genuine ones, require us to modify how we relate to each other and the authorities. I believe that this is the essence of the gospel text above. It starts off by showing us that the changes that Jesus brought about were incompatible with the ideas of his own family. Total strangers were invading His household seeking healing and comfort. He was upsetting the natural order of families. He did not destroy the traditional family. He expanded the concept to include anyone who wants to do God’s will. His own family did not like the new idea. The religious authorities were completely outside of these new developments. The people did not need them anymore. This was not acceptable. Therefore, they believed that Jesus was the devil. After all, they were God’s chosen ones and since none of these changes were beneficial for them, they concluded that they must be from the devil.

We tend to think that we are living in a time of radical changes. The reality is that it has always been like this. Every age has to deal with changes, good or bad. It is a common practice for people to stand for or against changes on a personal basis. However, this is not an option for us as Christians.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, that the living God is active and present in this world through His Holy Spirit. Therefore we need to listen to the Spirit’s voice. However, we won’t be able to hear the still silent voice of God if we inundate our lives with noises blaring all out differing opinions about these changes. These are ideas based on human wisdom and are incompatible with our vocation. Changes should not be the focus of our meditation but instead we should reflect on what the Spirit is doing in our midst. However, many act as if God is completely absent or mute. As Christians, if we deliberately choose to ignore God’s voice or worse, put our thoughts and opinions in His mouth, then we might be blaspheming against the Spirit.

Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin— for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.” – Mark 3:28-29

These are harsh words. Most importantly, they are directed to Christians because we are the only ones aware that God’s Spirit is present in our midst. The world does not understand the presence of the Holy Spirit whereas we cannot be Christians unless we sense the Spirit working in our hearts. Consequently, we are the only ones who can truly reject or blaspheme against the Holy Spirt by consciously ignoring Him. It is blasphemous to act as if God does not exist or is even powerless to act in this whirlpool of changes that is happening around us. It is incumbent on us to listen to what the Holy Spirit is doing. If not, we might confuse our opinions as divine mandate and this only leads us to a dangerous path of despair.

Everyday we start our time with the children and teens with a prayer. We pray in the same spot. It takes us a good twenty minutes to walk from our home to this place. Our journey there is filled with conversations about the current political situations and problems of the world. Just like anyone else, we have opinions and political convictions. However, once we pray and engage the children and teens, the real world takes control. It is the world that the Holy Spirit is constructing in our midst. All the latest political debates become irrelevant. We forget their existence completely because they have no bearing on what the Holy Spirit is doing.

We saw Danyel by himself. We asked him if he wanted to visit a museum nearby. He smiled and quickly changed his shirt. Unfortunately he changed into one that was worse than the one he wore. However, in his mind, this was his best t-shirt. It was a museum about the history of the city. It did not take us long to go through it. We decided to have a cup of coffee and hot chocolate for Danyel. I asked him if he liked his beverage. He said, “I liked everything. Everything was wonderful.” He asked if we could take him to a library one day. He has never been to a library. The next day, he ran up to us and gave us a big hug. We were a family when we went to the museum that day and Danyel loved it. In many ways, we loved it as well. This is the change God is doing in our midst. He is bringing love into our souls, the kind of love that we never knew that was possible. In a world where changes are tainted with hatred and violence, God is constructing a family founded on the love that heals and restores. God is building a family within our souls. Danyel is our son and we are his parents. However, the world will never understand this. However, those who listen to the Holy Spirit will understand. The change that God is bringing into this world is one that builds and reconciles. It is an eternal change. Those who want to hold on to the methods and values of this world have to, by default, reject what God is doing.

Changes come and go but the things God is doing in our midst are for eternity.

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Trying Not to Explain the Trinity

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:14-17

When I was a parish priest, I was always at a loss on Trinity Sunday. I just could not write an interesting sermon (I am making an assumption here that at least some of my sermons were interesting). The miserable words I was able to put on paper looked dreadfully boring and uninspired, unlike the Blessed Trinity. Perhaps my sermons were an attempt to rationalize something that cannot be rationalized. I have heard many sermons about the Trinity. I realized that I am not alone. The preachers who are generally good preachers find it hard to deliver a good sermon about the Trinity. I have read many books about the rational treatise of this subject. My personal favorite is the one by Boethius. I don’t understand most of it and yet, it makes lot of sense. It sounds like a paradox but we are talking about something that is essentially paradoxical.

Maybe I should avoid writing something about the Trinity for this post. Unfortunately, this is an impossible task. The presence of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is the heart of what we do. I can’t talk about God without mentioning Jesus and I cannot talk intelligibly about Jesus without the Holy Spirit. If we take the blessed Trinity away from our ministry, then we are just an older couple hanging out with children and teens in the streets. We would be very strange to the children and the people around. Yet, we are in the streets everyday and people seemed to understand why we are there. Most importantly, the children and teens do too. It is strange that no one ever asks the question how or why they understand. Perhaps, the most possible answer would be the workings of the Holy Spirit.

Our children, most likely, have never heard of the Nicene Creed. If they did, they wouldn’t be interested in discussing it. However, our children know that Jesus helps them understand the God the Father. They also sense in their hearts that they are God’s children. Whenever they said this, I used to be a little skeptical. I thought that they were just repeating doctrines and teachings they heard in the streets. I made the mistake of not taking them too seriously when they said that God is their Father. However, I have changed now. How and why I have changed? Well again, it is the Holy Spirit. I realized that I am not the Holy Spirit and therefore, the Truth does not flow out of me. It is possible for others to receive and know it apart from me. I also realized that the Holy Spirit is present in the hearts and minds of the children. When God poured out His Spirit, He generously gave Himself to the world and not just to a select few. His Spirit has been with these children and teens since the day they were born. The children talk about God being their Father not as a theory but a reality. Most of them have never had a religious upbringing. Yet, they know in their hearts that God is the only true Father that they have. This is not a metaphor. We have been helping a lot of our teens get their documents recently and almost all of them do not know the names of their fathers. They have no notion what their fathers look like. There are about two or three in the streets that have fathers. Unfortunately, they are not living at home because of their fathers.

Our children are convinced that God never abandoned them. This is quite amazing. They live on the streets of a commercial district. They see people flaunting their wealth all the time. They see people walking with their families. They are completely aware of their lack. Nevertheless, it never occurred to them that God has abandoned them. Some might argue that this is mere blind faith. It could be that or it could be the Truth. A kind of Truth that goes beyond the superficial presentation of reality. Something that only could be revealed by the Holy Spirit. Our children and teens don’t attend or belong to any church. They don’t feel the necessity to adhere to any religious belief. They live their lives through their intuition. They intuitively know that God has never abandoned them because He always sends people to remind them that He is with them.

We have been helping Wellington this week with his documents. In reality, what he needs is not complicated. He could do it himself. However, he has never done anything of this sort on his own before. He is 18 and he has been involved in crime in the past and has been to juvenile detention centers several times. He is street wise and has gained the respect of the other teens. However, now he wants to leave all these things behind. He wants something better but he doesn’t know how to go about it. He came up to us and asked our help. He needed a parent figure to help him. Even though our interactions have always been superficial despite knowing him for almost five years, somehow he sensed that we would walk with him.

After we got his documents, as we walked back together to where the children were staying, Wellington opened up about his family. He said that he was a squatter in an abandoned building with his mother. It was actually the building that collapsed. I wrote about this in my last post. Fortunately, he wasn’t there when it happened. We were surprised to hear that he was with his mother. However, he quickly added that she never cared for him. She was a crack addict and never had time for anything else but crack. He realized this at a very young age. He decided that he needed to look elsewhere for a family. This is why he stayed in the streets. He did not sound bitter or angry when he said this. It was just the way life turned out for him. However, he doesn’t want to follow in the footsteps of his mother. He wants to be free from everything that is detrimental to his life. However, he is not going to be able to do it alone. He needs a family. He needs the Holy Trinity. He did not say this. He does not have the vocabulary but we do. Maybe this is why the Holy Spirit brought us to the streets; to help them discover a new vocabulary. The word, “Trinity”, was a new word born from the spiritual encounters of the Christian community. Unfortunately, they spent many years caught in arguments dealing with the precise and technical expressions of it and something was lost. Something lively and real was reduced to something dry and irrelevant. The “Trinity” is not a theory or an argument. The Trinity is an expression of God’s love. It is the way we understand God is Love.

If I were to write a sermon about the blessed Trinity today for our children and teens, it would go something like this; The Holy Trinity brought us together. We wouldn’t be in the streets if it wasn’t for Jesus. We wouldn’t be in the streets if the Holy Spirit hadn’t spoken to us. The streets wouldn’t be special if the Father hadn’t brought all of us together. It would be impossible for us to become a loving and caring family in the streets if we did not first encounter the love of the Father through Jesus made alive in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. I noticed that everything negative has been made positive through the workings of the Blessed Trinity. Perhaps, this is the best way to think about the Holy Trinity. The Blessed Trinity takes each ‘No’ to abundant life and transforms it into a ‘Yes’. I think that our children would understand this sermon. Thankfully, I don’t have to preach to them. We just live it every time the Holy Spirit brings us together.

 

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Truly Loving in a Difficult Situation

Jesus prayed, “when I was with them in the world, I was keeping them in Thy name; those whom Thou hast given to me I did guard, and none of them was destroyed, except the son of the destruction, that the Writing may be fulfilled.” John 17:12 (Young’s Literal Translation)

The verse above is taken from a prayer that only Jesus can pray. We cannot appropriate it. We cannot use it our prayer books as an expression of our own sentiments. It is something that belongs only to the Son of God. It reveals the humility of Jesus who recognizes His limits. He does not assume that He has the right to demand anything from the Father. Instead He pleads with Him. There is no claim of merit. He admits that He merely takes care of those whom God has given to him. They do not belong to Him but to the Father. He recognizes that He has only one task and stays faithful to it. He has to manifest the Truth to them. This was all He had to do. He has to reveal the Truth to them.

“Truth” has such a complex history. Many things good and unpleasant have been done in its name. Everyone claims to make allegiance to it: religions, sciences, politics, media and even the entertainment industry. For most of these, Truth is a theory or a doctrine or a teaching. In the gospel of John where this prayer is taken from, its author makes it crystal clear that Truth is not a doctrine or some spiritual exercise or political system but He is a person; nothing more, nothing less.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” ( John 14:6)

It is this truth that brings us to the streets. It is this truth that we constantly discover whenever we are with our children. It is not always easy to accept this Truth. It would be easier if it was just a doctrine. We cannot share this Truth. We have to reveal Him through love. Nothing we say can have any meaning unless His love shines through our hearts. This is the tough part because it is not always easy to love.

I have been doing ministry in the streets long enough to recognize when a criminal activity is about to take place. There were three men walking together looking for a potential victim to rob. The way they walk and communicate with each through quick and silent glances gave them away. They caught my attention. I observed them from a distance. All the sudden one of them made eye contact with me. His face changed and he looked slightly embarrassed, even ashamed. He said something to his companions and then approached us. His name is Bruno.

There are a few “Brunos” in the streets. We met this particular Bruno* when we first got here in 2013. He was incarcerated in the juvenile detention center. He was detained for selling cobbler glue for sniffing. His mother had sent him out to do this. We visited him on a weekly basis. His mother never went to see him once. I met his mother once when she was a homeless teen more than twenty years ago. Now, she has about five children or perhaps more. I can’t remember exactly. They were all forced into the “family business.” It is not organized crime. It is very disorganized and involves selling cobbler’s glue for almost nothing. With the little she earns, she manages her household. There are some mental issues too. Bruno was basically born into criminality. I would describe him as gentle and soft-spoken. We celebrated his sixteenth birthday in the detention center. Mary made some special cupcakes for him. We visited him over the course of a year. Eventually, we lost contact with him until recently. He is back in the streets. He looks the same but he is 20 now. He saw us and said that he remembered our simple birthday celebration with him.

Before he was released from the detention center, Bruno asked the staff to place him in a shelter. He thought that his home would just be a reentry back to a life of crime. I have to say that counsellors of the center tried their best to find a shelter for him. Unfortunately, they was unsuccessful. Bruno went to his mother’s house. Now he is part of a gang of robbers.

It is hard for us to imagine that this gentle young man would hurt someone for money. Unfortunately, he is indeed that kind of person. He is part of a dangerous gang. There are two sides of Bruno and they are irreconcilable. I cannot pretend to see only the good side of him. It would be dishonest of me especially when I claim that I am here to proclaim the Truth. I need to face the harsh reality. I know that I am not alone in this dilemma. There are prison chaplains who serve the vilest criminals. They have to struggle not to despise those whom they serve. I don’t despise Bruno. We have a strong affection for him but I hate what he does. Not just him, there is another older teen in this gang of robbers with whom we actually have very close relationship and it breaks our heart to know that they are contaminating their souls doing such things. We still love them but we cannot pretend that they are not dangerous and a menace to society.

When I read the prayer of Jesus, it made me wonder how did Jesus love Judas knowing that he would eventually betray him. Jesus did not treat him any different from the rest. He recognized Judas as one of those whom God has given to Him.

Jesus said, “It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot. John 13:26

In ancient cultures, when the host personally served you a bread he had dipped, it was a sign of intimacy and honor. The rest of the apostles took this for granted and they disregarded the fact that at that particular moment that Jesus was pointing out the traitor to them. Jesus loved and cared for Judas like the rest of them. Judas was the son of destruction and Jesus could not do anything about it. It is strange to even write these words. We think of Jesus as always doing the impossible. However, even God respects the boundaries that He has set. He won’t intervene in our decisions but He still loves us despite our bad choices.

Bruno came up to us and hugged us. He has a strong affection for us and the feeling is mutual. At the same time, there is a gnawing sentiment of disdain within me knowing that he is capable of doing harm to innocent people. I realize that I am also like a Bruno, a torn and divided person. I am not any different from anyone in this world. God wants us to be in the world but not of the world. Perhaps I take comfort in the prayer of Jesus knowing that He still prays this prayer for us.

“Holy Father, keep them in Thy name, whom Thou hast given to me, that they may be one as we are one.” John 17:11

Jesus loved Judas despite knowing what he would do. There was compassion in his words when he said that it would have been better if he was never born (Matthew 26:24). The person who suffered most in the act of betrayal was Judas himself. He will always be remembered for this one thing. His suicide revealed that he never understood the depths of Jesus’ love. Bruno is not Judas nor are the other young men we know that are involved in crime. We can’t see into their future. This is a good thing. However, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to help us become one with Jesus and learn to love with compassion those who do things that grieve our hearts.

 

 

*This is a post I made about Bruno and his mother in 2014.

http://spmercyministry.com/2014/09/18/tragic-tales-of-three-mothers/

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Love comes Tumbling down

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12

A 24 story building collapsed in our neighborhood this week.

It happened on May 1st, the Labor Day holiday. I heard the helicopters flying around our neighborhood all night. These machines are bad omens here in this city. Their presence means that there is a riot or some large scale tragedy. I looked out the window and saw them hovering over a certain spot not far from our home. I knew something bad had happened. It was only in the morning I realized that a building had collapsed.

We got dressed and went to the location. I don’t know why but it just felt like we needed to be there. Obviously, all roads were closed to traffic. The building used to be a government office but has been abandoned for the past twelve years. More recently, it has been home for 150 families from one of the poorest sectors of society. They invaded the building in hopes of getting the attention of the government to help them find affordable housing. There are about 100 abandoned buildings occupied by the homeless poor in the center where we live. These people are not the same as the homeless to whom we minister in the streets. Most of these people have jobs but they cannot pay rent with what they earn. The best option is being squatters in abandoned buildings in the center. Unfortunately, everyone in authority ignores their presences until a tragedy occurs.

As we walked to the site, we passed a famous restaurant along the way. There was a long line of people waiting to eat there. They were talking and laughing away. It was quite surreal. They seemed oblivious to a great tragedy had happened just around the corner. The tragic event was in the news, even the President went to the area. It is hard to ignore such a thing. However, it didn’t concern these people. It has very little to do with their world. It is not our world as well. However, we were slowly making our way there. I am still not sure why.

There were quite a lot of people at the site. They were not mere curious spectators. Many were from the poorer social sector. They were just like us who were drawn to this place. There was almost a melancholic silence that penetrated the souls of everyone there. The press was there with their cameras. The firemen were busy trying to put out the smoldering flames. The city which is usually noisy and unruly could not ignore the silence that permeated the place. The people who lost their homes sat and mourned their loss. No words could console their souls at this moment. Hope was ripped away. There was a sense of total abandonment. Any attempt to comfort them would sound like conventional wisdom. Perhaps silence was the best answer. Some people brought clothes and food. I saw a man going through the clothes and then he walked away without taking a single piece. He realized that he needed something more than clothes and food. He wasn’t sure what. Perhaps, it is hope.

We did absolutely nothing except stand there in silence. We did not feel like we wasted our time. We heard someone calling out our names. It was Sandro. He was the only one of our youths that was present there. It is strange that not more of them were present being close to where they live. In fact, I once went to this very building looking for the mother of one of our boys.

Sandro said that it was the noise of the helicopters that brought him here.

He was a little pensive today. He said that the people made the mistake of living in such a precarious building. It is a comment he heard from some in the streets. It is strange that victims are always the first to be blamed. I told him that the building was built in 1966 and shouldn’t be in such a fragile state. Besides, there is a housing problem in this city. The government has done nothing with this building for the past 12 years but somehow, the victims are being blamed.

Sandro was just trying to understand what happened. He wasn’t passing judgment. I told him that the people were desperate for a home and they took what was available to them. Just I said this, we saw another familiar face. It was Glaucia. She came up and hugged all of us. I knew her since she was 18 and now she is 41. She used to live in the streets just like Sandro. She has had a tough life. She lived in abandoned buildings like these people for many years. She raised her children in these circumstances. We know her sons and they are excellent young men. She heard about the building and came immediately. She knew some people who lived there. However, she also had some good news to share. She was getting a place of her own. She has been living in a slum built on abandoned land and the government decided to remove the people there to make way for some construction. As a result, she was awarded an apartment. It is not free but affordable. It was something that she wanted all her life. After all these years of being homeless, she finally has a permanent address.

After Glaucia went on her way, Sandro asked if it is possible for someone like him to have a permanent address. He had heard people say that everything is possible with hard work and determination. This is another piece of conventional wisdom. The people who stood there watching the building they called home go up in flames were hardworking and determined. I told him that there are no guarantees in life. Today was not a day for easy and quick answers. I told him that many people with material success in life were the first cast the stones at the victims today; calling them lazy and scroungers, etc. I am not sure if we can consider them to be successful people. I know that Jesus would not. Can we, as Christians, consider hateful and indifferent people to be successful? Glaucia is a successful person but not because she has an apartment now. She was homeless most of her life and yet she was still able to love people and care for them. She made a special two-hour trip just to stand in silence with these people who lost everything. No fire can still steal what she has from her.

Sandro looked hungry. Most of the restaurants in the center were closed for the holiday and food is scarce for the homeless on days like this. I asked him if he wanted to get a snack with us. He smiled and we took it as a “yes”. We went to a fast food joint. He ordered only one item. We encouraged him to get something else but he said that he did not want us to spend all our money. We insisted and he ordered something else. He was happy to share the table with us. He asked the same question again. What does it take to be successful? I told him maybe we should strive to be good people. This is something that will always belong to us.

Sandro hugged us and said that he will look for us the next couple of days.

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