Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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We will only settle for Encounters

Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, ‘Who touched me?’” He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”- Mark 5:30-34

The most anticipated word blared out from the obnoxious speakers: “Goaaal!”. It unleashed joyous dancing and screaming among the crowd and we were in the heart of it. There wasn’t much room to dance so everyone just jumped up and down. We were doing it as well, rather involuntarily. All our bodies were so pressed together that we had to follow the rhythm of everyone just to avoid falling to the ground and being trampled. Mary looked a little concerned, maybe even afraid. To think that all this was our idea. Wanderson stood behind us. He was the only teen that was willing to watch the game with us. I thought that it would be good for the children and teens to experience something different. They are always outsiders to all the public events in the city. I thought that they should not miss watching the public screening of the Brazilian team playing in the World Cup. It only happens once every four years. We invited all of the children but only Wanderson was willing to come. Now, I have my doubts. Vulgarities were heard all around. People were saying obscene things about the opponents. Sportsmanship was absent. Our homeless children look like model citizens compared to this lot. Maybe it is better for their souls to be outsiders to all these events.

Mary was not thinking about any of this. She was afraid that any moment now there would be a stampede. Half-time came and we decided that it is best for us to leave. Then came the tough part, navigating our way through bodies pressed together. It required lots of gentle pushing and burrowing through a mass of bodies. As I tried to make my way through the crowd, Wanderson grabbed hold of my hand and held it tightly. He was holding Mary’s hand in the same way. It took us a while but we finally made it through to the exit. Wanderson smiled and told us that he wasn’t that interested in the game anyway. However, he just wanted to come because we invited him.

Being in the middle of a rowdy crowd, just like in the gospel text. It is almost like I planned this event so that I could write about it. I did start the week thinking about the healing of the old woman. I wasn’t think about the crowd or being in a situation as such. My mind was on the woman. She pushed her way through the crowd to have the experience of healing. She wasn’t interested in the person of Jesus per se. He was just a means to an end. All she wanted was to be healed. She had a strong faith in the power of Jesus. So much so that she believed that anything close to His body was permeating with His healing power. This is quite an incredible faith. Unfortunately, it was still immature. It was childlike and childish at the same time. She only wanted to experience healing. Jesus was just a thing to her until Jesus opened the door for her to encounter Him.

There was another episode in the gospel of Luke where ten lepers were healed and only one came back to thank Jesus (Luke 17:11-19). To the one that came back Jesus said, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.” They were all healed from leprosy but only one was truly healed. All of them sought Jesus for healing but for the nine, Jesus was merely a means to an end. Only one saw Jesus as a Person. He was the only one who had a genuinely mature faith. The old woman was blessed in a way. Jesus did not allow her to follow the footsteps of the other nine. He wasn’t going to allow her to leave with a mere experience of healing. He wanted her faith to mature.

Perhaps we can wonder why Jesus made exception for this woman. There was a large crowd following Him, everyone searching for some sort of experience with Jesus. We will never know for sure what makes this woman stand out. Maybe it is because she was a woman. In His society and in present times as well, women are often treated a means to an end. She saw Jesus in the same way because it was the only way she was conditioned to deal with people. The old woman also lost everything including her dignity. It is possible that she thought that all she was worthy of was a mere experience and not a genuine encounter with Jesus.

Experience and encounter are not interchangeable. The former is limited. It is just a more like an emotional event in the sense that it doesn’t change who we are. In the religious environment, there has been a lot of talk about experiences. We are left with a spirituality that reeks with sentimentalism. The nine lepers experienced healing and they still remained ungrateful people. People can have a wonderful experience in a spiritual retreat and not necessarily change anything in their personal lives. People can have a wonderful missionary experience and still not change their outlook of life or treatment of others. This is where it gets interesting for me. I have been spiritually imprisoned in an experience-oriented missionary idea for a long time. Now I am learning to understand what it means to have an encounter. I find that these moments are always transforming how I see life in general.
We brought Wanderson to watch the game because we wanted him to have an experience. At the end of the day we had an encounter instead.

Encounters are not sensational. The soccer event that we attended had huge screens with large speakers. There were decorated stands selling food and drinks. Brazilian flags were flown everywhere and everything was geared towards creating a wonderful soccer experience. However, Wanderson held our hands tightly. This is a seventeen year old boy and he wanted to hold our hands because he felt secure. After we got out of the crowd, he asked me to bring a game of checkers the next day. He wanted to play a quiet game with us. Nothing spectacular here except that we were like parents to a boy who was abandoned in an orphanage at a very young age. All his life, he created a fantasy family. He often told us unbelievable stories about his family which were a poignant reminder to us about the loneliness that these children sense in their hearts. Recently, he has stopped with these stories. He has began to spend more time with us too.

God gives us encounters when we least expect them. It is easy to miss them if our focus is just on accumulating experiences. Albeit, these are easy to fabricate whereas encounters requires us to wait. They don’t come to us by our efforts but are graciously given to us. The woman was happy to be healed but God’s grace made Jesus stop and ask who touched him. She could have left the scene and been happy with her healed body. However, her encounter with Jesus transformed her. Jesus called her daughter. She was God’s daughter, not an abandoned old woman cursed with an illness. She belonged to God. Jesus pointed out that she had the faith to believe this but social conditioning had made her to think otherwise.

I believe that every encounter is a step towards understanding that we are truly God’s daughters and sons. Wanderson’s desire to hold our hands tightly is a response to God’s prompting in his heart that he belongs to someone. He is not alone or lost in this world. He held our hands. We are part of this physically. We are connected to him. It is a privilege God has given us. Not only us, we know that there are people praying for him too. They are also part of being a symbol of acceptance and love for Wanderson. Our experience at the soccer event will be forgotten in weeks to come but our encounter with Wanderson holding our hands like a little child will be remembered for eternity because it is a gracious gift from God.

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As God Slumbers

But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”-Mark 4:38-40

It has always been there but I never paid any attention to it. I was too distracted by the storm. The miracle overshadowed my reflection. I thought I understood what Jesus meant by lack of faith. Now, everything seems little different; I listened to the story instead. I did not try to impose my ideas on it. Just listened to it and heard the plea of the disciples, “Do you not care that we are perishing?” Then I looked around and realized that the same plea was once uttered by our children and teens.

Our ministry is with children and teens whose world came tumbling down. Most of them found to be God to be silent or “sleeping” while they felt desperate and lost. In their hearts, they believed that God must not care if they perished. Their passage to the streets is a symbol of resignation. They got tired of waiting for God to wake up. They believe that they are on their own in this life. However, none of them would ever verbalize it. It would have been better if they followed the examples of the disciples and cried out to God, “Do you care that we are perishing?” Instead they carry in their souls this poignant thought that they are alone and rejected even by the only One they hope could save them. Perhaps, this is our task here. Perhaps it is our responsibility to help and encourage them to say the words of the disciples. It was these words that woke Jesus from His slumber.

For years, I have heard and even preached a few sermons myself about the lack of faith in the disciples. However, I did not really understand what was exactly missing in their faith. I used to think that they lacked the faith to believe that Jesus could calm the storm. If this was the case, then it would be unfair of Jesus to rebuke them. No one in their right mind could have imagined this from a religious leader. Whenever there is a hurricane approaching in a given place, no one in their right mind is going to heed a religious leader asking people to stay put and pray the storm away. We expect to evacuate to a safer place because it is the wise and right to do. God has given us the wisdom to act accordingly. Besides, Faith is always in accordance with wisdom but not human reasoning. The latter is limited but wisdom is open and universal. This is where the disciples failed. They used their reasoning. They judged Jesus by the circumstances, not allowing their faith to inform them. Faith produces wisdom. They were companions of Jesus. They had seen Him heal and teach and interact with the people. Yet they doubted whether He cared for them. A simple storm doesn’t change His nature or character. We cannot allow one circumstance or incident to define who God is.

Jesus slept peacefully.

In most situations in our lives, instead of sleeping, we could say God was silent. What the disciples failed to understand is that silence doesn’t mean absence. Jesus was in the boat with them. Perhaps, for many, this does not suffice. Many don’t want a God who suffers with them but One who resolves all their problems. Some churches promote this false ”God”. They claim that our faith can make everything calm and tranquil in our lives. This is a god doesn’t exist. The atheists and agnostics have come to disbelieve in this conjecture. This false teaching also reduces faith into some kind of special and magical tool to get what we want. Whereas the gospel teaches that faith reveals to us the nature of God. It reveals to us a God who chooses to suffer rather than resolve all our problems. It is a God who looks at life from the perspective of the one who is rejected and suffers. Why suffer and not solve the problems and end suffering? Well, God truly has the choice in this matter and He makes an option to suffer. I can’t say any more than this. God is God and He has made His choice. Jesus would rather be sleeping in the boat on brink of destruction than to be safe on shore. If we want to discover this Jesus, then we need to be on the boat amidst the storms of life. We need to be with those whose world is tumbling down. Then we discover some wonderful things about our God.

“Do you care that we are perishing?”

It is not wrong to ask God this question. I think that it would be wrong for me to try to answer it. It is a question only God can answer. However, we cannot know God intimately if we have not asked this question. I am sure that most of us felt moments when we thought that God is either sleeping or not interested. It is not a question that goes unanswered. The answer comes from faith and faith comes from God; not forgetting that it is also part of wisdom.

Those who have received the answer know where their place is in the world. It is not in safe shores but in the boat in the midst of the storm where people feel abandoned and hopeless. While we cannot say why God is silent but we can testify to the fact that He is always present, perhaps even through our presence. This is our hope and prayer for our children and teens living in the streets.

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Unexpected Encounters in Uninteresting Places

Jesus also said, “With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable will we use for it? It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth;  yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes the greatest of all shrubs, and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.”-Mark 4:30-32

Things overlooked and perhaps even ignored. These are the things that Jesus used to reveal the nature of the Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God is like…someone sowing seeds…a night lamp…a plant that grows in silence…tiny black seeds. It is like everything that doesn’t sound remotely exciting. The squeaky wheel gets the grease but not so with the Kingdom of God. It is quiet and subtle. It is a challenge for us who are impressed with the loud and ostentatious things. Jesus invites us to look at unassuming things and see the Kingdom of God striving and bearing much fruit.

I chose to focus on the parable of the mustard seed. I don’t really know why, after all, it occupies a minute role in His teachings on the Kingdom of God. Perhaps, it is because I am familiar with the spice. I am familiar with its smallness. I am always attracted to small things. Maybe it reveals my lack of ambition. I have always been a pastor to small churches. There are more of them than large ones. When we think about it, the world is made of small uninteresting things. The big and the spectacular are a rarity. Small and mundane things abound in everyday life. People try to escape these boring things. Jesus points us to them. He says that they can teach us about the Kingdom of God.

I spent the first part of the week looking for something to relate our ministry to this parable. I found nothing despite the fact that it was quite an exceptional week. There were many moments when we stopped playing games or any activities and just talked. Nothing of great interest. For a regular person, our topics of conversation might seem dull and pointless. I won’t write anything about them. I want to keep your interest. However, for us, treasures are often found in uninteresting places.

These conversations are a sign that we are growing as a family. The children feel free to talk about whatever comes to their minds just like in a regular household except that we are in the streets. Sandro made a comment a while ago that he feels like he can share his dreams and thoughts with us without being judged or ridiculed.
Unfortunately, with all these good conversations, I still could not find anything to connect us the parable of the mustard seed. I realized that I was looking for something special to occur so that the parable of the mustard seed would shed light on the situation. I was looking for something contrary to the mood of the parables on the Kingdom of God. I neglected the simple and obvious things in life.

I missed the point of Jesus’ teachings. It is such a dangerous place to be; trying to reason out a biblical text while missing out on its essential meaning. I was looking for something spectacular and inspirational to write about God’s kingdom. I was waiting for it to happen, not realizing that it was already there. The Kingdom of God is real and present in the common and everyday things of life. I saw it and yet I did not perceive. I heard it but I did not listen. So I will start again…this time I will be more attentive to the Holy Spirit

This was an exceptional week. Nothing new or spectacular happened. We just played games and talked with the children and teens. We had great conversations. Then I noticed a young woman walked by and she saw our little group sitting on the floor of a square. We were a strange lot but I could see in her eyes that she understood that it was a family. She smiled. It wasn’t an ordinary smile. It was a smile of recognition that goodness and love prevailed in this world. She transmitted her love and happiness to us without saying a word. On the same day, a man walked by with bags of vegetables. His demeanor informs us that he is what we consider in this city as the extremely poor. Most likely he lives in one of the abandoned buildings in the center. He stopped where we were and started fixing his bags of vegetables. He was evenly distributing the vegetables in his many bags. Then he approached us and gave us one of the bags. My initial reaction was to refuse. He needed it more than me. It was strange that he offered it to us. Maybe he thought that we were a homeless family. This is not a bad thing. Then again, maybe we need to start dressing better. Danyel was with us and accepted the bag of vegetables. The man happily gave it to him. He just wanted to share the little he had received. I was a little surprised that Danyel wanted a bag of shredded cabbage and lettuce. To my surprise, within a few minutes, some of the children got salt and vinegar from the restaurants and ate all the vegetables. They actually liked it. Then another man approached us. He is a lawyer. The children and teens knew him. He helps them whenever they have a problem with the Law. He wanted to introduce himself to us. He told us that he has seen us often. We had never seen him before. He gave me his card and said that he was willing to help any time the children or teens needed help. Then, more people walked by and smiled. They were genuinely happy to see our little gathering in the streets.

It was strange because this was really the first time that I noticed the number of people who took notice of our little group. They communicated their love through smiles and sometimes they would stop and talk with us for a few minutes. They would ask about the game and if there is a pet in the midst, they would talk about it. They want to connect with us. We feel blessed when we sense their love. Nothing spectacular, nothing that would be newsworthy in the eyes of the world. However, it is enough to reveal to us that the Holy Spirit is in our midst. The Kingdom of God is not a place or an institution. His Kingdom is made of regular and common people. They are people caught up with the demands of everyday life. Sometimes they can’t find the time or energy to give and share their love as much as they would like. However, they are still able to plant a seed of love here and there. Time is not a gift that they have. These people walked by without realizing their smiles and kind gestures are registered in the hearts and minds of the little family in the street.

Loud and ostentatious things brag about the chaos. Jesus calls us to pay attention to the subtle and eternal Kingdom of God growing in the hearts and minds of His children.

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Inevitable Changes

…and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.”- Mark 3:20-22

Everyone thought that Jesus was out of control. His relatives wanted the old Jesus back, their simple carpenter relative. It seems like even the virgin Mother wasn’t sure what was going on with Jesus. Maybe she did not like things to change too fast. The spiritual authorities wanted things to remain as they were. For them, any change was perceived as diabolical especially when it didn’t benefit them. Many obviously were happy for these new things. New doors were opened to them. They were no longer outsiders. They were considered part of a greater family as long as they kept their eyes focused on God. The presence of Jesus divided the people. There were two groups.

Nothing has really changed.

“The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.”- G.K. Chesterton

This is not a post on politics but it is about changes.

Changes, especially genuine ones, require us to modify how we relate to each other and the authorities. I believe that this is the essence of the gospel text above. It starts off by showing us that the changes that Jesus brought about were incompatible with the ideas of his own family. Total strangers were invading His household seeking healing and comfort. He was upsetting the natural order of families. He did not destroy the traditional family. He expanded the concept to include anyone who wants to do God’s will. His own family did not like the new idea. The religious authorities were completely outside of these new developments. The people did not need them anymore. This was not acceptable. Therefore, they believed that Jesus was the devil. After all, they were God’s chosen ones and since none of these changes were beneficial for them, they concluded that they must be from the devil.

We tend to think that we are living in a time of radical changes. The reality is that it has always been like this. Every age has to deal with changes, good or bad. It is a common practice for people to stand for or against changes on a personal basis. However, this is not an option for us as Christians.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, that the living God is active and present in this world through His Holy Spirit. Therefore we need to listen to the Spirit’s voice. However, we won’t be able to hear the still silent voice of God if we inundate our lives with noises blaring all out differing opinions about these changes. These are ideas based on human wisdom and are incompatible with our vocation. Changes should not be the focus of our meditation but instead we should reflect on what the Spirit is doing in our midst. However, many act as if God is completely absent or mute. As Christians, if we deliberately choose to ignore God’s voice or worse, put our thoughts and opinions in His mouth, then we might be blaspheming against the Spirit.

Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin— for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.” – Mark 3:28-29

These are harsh words. Most importantly, they are directed to Christians because we are the only ones aware that God’s Spirit is present in our midst. The world does not understand the presence of the Holy Spirit whereas we cannot be Christians unless we sense the Spirit working in our hearts. Consequently, we are the only ones who can truly reject or blaspheme against the Holy Spirt by consciously ignoring Him. It is blasphemous to act as if God does not exist or is even powerless to act in this whirlpool of changes that is happening around us. It is incumbent on us to listen to what the Holy Spirit is doing. If not, we might confuse our opinions as divine mandate and this only leads us to a dangerous path of despair.

Everyday we start our time with the children and teens with a prayer. We pray in the same spot. It takes us a good twenty minutes to walk from our home to this place. Our journey there is filled with conversations about the current political situations and problems of the world. Just like anyone else, we have opinions and political convictions. However, once we pray and engage the children and teens, the real world takes control. It is the world that the Holy Spirit is constructing in our midst. All the latest political debates become irrelevant. We forget their existence completely because they have no bearing on what the Holy Spirit is doing.

We saw Danyel by himself. We asked him if he wanted to visit a museum nearby. He smiled and quickly changed his shirt. Unfortunately he changed into one that was worse than the one he wore. However, in his mind, this was his best t-shirt. It was a museum about the history of the city. It did not take us long to go through it. We decided to have a cup of coffee and hot chocolate for Danyel. I asked him if he liked his beverage. He said, “I liked everything. Everything was wonderful.” He asked if we could take him to a library one day. He has never been to a library. The next day, he ran up to us and gave us a big hug. We were a family when we went to the museum that day and Danyel loved it. In many ways, we loved it as well. This is the change God is doing in our midst. He is bringing love into our souls, the kind of love that we never knew that was possible. In a world where changes are tainted with hatred and violence, God is constructing a family founded on the love that heals and restores. God is building a family within our souls. Danyel is our son and we are his parents. However, the world will never understand this. However, those who listen to the Holy Spirit will understand. The change that God is bringing into this world is one that builds and reconciles. It is an eternal change. Those who want to hold on to the methods and values of this world have to, by default, reject what God is doing.

Changes come and go but the things God is doing in our midst are for eternity.

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Trying Not to Explain the Trinity

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:14-17

When I was a parish priest, I was always at a loss on Trinity Sunday. I just could not write an interesting sermon (I am making an assumption here that at least some of my sermons were interesting). The miserable words I was able to put on paper looked dreadfully boring and uninspired, unlike the Blessed Trinity. Perhaps my sermons were an attempt to rationalize something that cannot be rationalized. I have heard many sermons about the Trinity. I realized that I am not alone. The preachers who are generally good preachers find it hard to deliver a good sermon about the Trinity. I have read many books about the rational treatise of this subject. My personal favorite is the one by Boethius. I don’t understand most of it and yet, it makes lot of sense. It sounds like a paradox but we are talking about something that is essentially paradoxical.

Maybe I should avoid writing something about the Trinity for this post. Unfortunately, this is an impossible task. The presence of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is the heart of what we do. I can’t talk about God without mentioning Jesus and I cannot talk intelligibly about Jesus without the Holy Spirit. If we take the blessed Trinity away from our ministry, then we are just an older couple hanging out with children and teens in the streets. We would be very strange to the children and the people around. Yet, we are in the streets everyday and people seemed to understand why we are there. Most importantly, the children and teens do too. It is strange that no one ever asks the question how or why they understand. Perhaps, the most possible answer would be the workings of the Holy Spirit.

Our children, most likely, have never heard of the Nicene Creed. If they did, they wouldn’t be interested in discussing it. However, our children know that Jesus helps them understand the God the Father. They also sense in their hearts that they are God’s children. Whenever they said this, I used to be a little skeptical. I thought that they were just repeating doctrines and teachings they heard in the streets. I made the mistake of not taking them too seriously when they said that God is their Father. However, I have changed now. How and why I have changed? Well again, it is the Holy Spirit. I realized that I am not the Holy Spirit and therefore, the Truth does not flow out of me. It is possible for others to receive and know it apart from me. I also realized that the Holy Spirit is present in the hearts and minds of the children. When God poured out His Spirit, He generously gave Himself to the world and not just to a select few. His Spirit has been with these children and teens since the day they were born. The children talk about God being their Father not as a theory but a reality. Most of them have never had a religious upbringing. Yet, they know in their hearts that God is the only true Father that they have. This is not a metaphor. We have been helping a lot of our teens get their documents recently and almost all of them do not know the names of their fathers. They have no notion what their fathers look like. There are about two or three in the streets that have fathers. Unfortunately, they are not living at home because of their fathers.

Our children are convinced that God never abandoned them. This is quite amazing. They live on the streets of a commercial district. They see people flaunting their wealth all the time. They see people walking with their families. They are completely aware of their lack. Nevertheless, it never occurred to them that God has abandoned them. Some might argue that this is mere blind faith. It could be that or it could be the Truth. A kind of Truth that goes beyond the superficial presentation of reality. Something that only could be revealed by the Holy Spirit. Our children and teens don’t attend or belong to any church. They don’t feel the necessity to adhere to any religious belief. They live their lives through their intuition. They intuitively know that God has never abandoned them because He always sends people to remind them that He is with them.

We have been helping Wellington this week with his documents. In reality, what he needs is not complicated. He could do it himself. However, he has never done anything of this sort on his own before. He is 18 and he has been involved in crime in the past and has been to juvenile detention centers several times. He is street wise and has gained the respect of the other teens. However, now he wants to leave all these things behind. He wants something better but he doesn’t know how to go about it. He came up to us and asked our help. He needed a parent figure to help him. Even though our interactions have always been superficial despite knowing him for almost five years, somehow he sensed that we would walk with him.

After we got his documents, as we walked back together to where the children were staying, Wellington opened up about his family. He said that he was a squatter in an abandoned building with his mother. It was actually the building that collapsed. I wrote about this in my last post. Fortunately, he wasn’t there when it happened. We were surprised to hear that he was with his mother. However, he quickly added that she never cared for him. She was a crack addict and never had time for anything else but crack. He realized this at a very young age. He decided that he needed to look elsewhere for a family. This is why he stayed in the streets. He did not sound bitter or angry when he said this. It was just the way life turned out for him. However, he doesn’t want to follow in the footsteps of his mother. He wants to be free from everything that is detrimental to his life. However, he is not going to be able to do it alone. He needs a family. He needs the Holy Trinity. He did not say this. He does not have the vocabulary but we do. Maybe this is why the Holy Spirit brought us to the streets; to help them discover a new vocabulary. The word, “Trinity”, was a new word born from the spiritual encounters of the Christian community. Unfortunately, they spent many years caught in arguments dealing with the precise and technical expressions of it and something was lost. Something lively and real was reduced to something dry and irrelevant. The “Trinity” is not a theory or an argument. The Trinity is an expression of God’s love. It is the way we understand God is Love.

If I were to write a sermon about the blessed Trinity today for our children and teens, it would go something like this; The Holy Trinity brought us together. We wouldn’t be in the streets if it wasn’t for Jesus. We wouldn’t be in the streets if the Holy Spirit hadn’t spoken to us. The streets wouldn’t be special if the Father hadn’t brought all of us together. It would be impossible for us to become a loving and caring family in the streets if we did not first encounter the love of the Father through Jesus made alive in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. I noticed that everything negative has been made positive through the workings of the Blessed Trinity. Perhaps, this is the best way to think about the Holy Trinity. The Blessed Trinity takes each ‘No’ to abundant life and transforms it into a ‘Yes’. I think that our children would understand this sermon. Thankfully, I don’t have to preach to them. We just live it every time the Holy Spirit brings us together.

 

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Truly Loving in a Difficult Situation

Jesus prayed, “when I was with them in the world, I was keeping them in Thy name; those whom Thou hast given to me I did guard, and none of them was destroyed, except the son of the destruction, that the Writing may be fulfilled.” John 17:12 (Young’s Literal Translation)

The verse above is taken from a prayer that only Jesus can pray. We cannot appropriate it. We cannot use it our prayer books as an expression of our own sentiments. It is something that belongs only to the Son of God. It reveals the humility of Jesus who recognizes His limits. He does not assume that He has the right to demand anything from the Father. Instead He pleads with Him. There is no claim of merit. He admits that He merely takes care of those whom God has given to him. They do not belong to Him but to the Father. He recognizes that He has only one task and stays faithful to it. He has to manifest the Truth to them. This was all He had to do. He has to reveal the Truth to them.

“Truth” has such a complex history. Many things good and unpleasant have been done in its name. Everyone claims to make allegiance to it: religions, sciences, politics, media and even the entertainment industry. For most of these, Truth is a theory or a doctrine or a teaching. In the gospel of John where this prayer is taken from, its author makes it crystal clear that Truth is not a doctrine or some spiritual exercise or political system but He is a person; nothing more, nothing less.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” ( John 14:6)

It is this truth that brings us to the streets. It is this truth that we constantly discover whenever we are with our children. It is not always easy to accept this Truth. It would be easier if it was just a doctrine. We cannot share this Truth. We have to reveal Him through love. Nothing we say can have any meaning unless His love shines through our hearts. This is the tough part because it is not always easy to love.

I have been doing ministry in the streets long enough to recognize when a criminal activity is about to take place. There were three men walking together looking for a potential victim to rob. The way they walk and communicate with each through quick and silent glances gave them away. They caught my attention. I observed them from a distance. All the sudden one of them made eye contact with me. His face changed and he looked slightly embarrassed, even ashamed. He said something to his companions and then approached us. His name is Bruno.

There are a few “Brunos” in the streets. We met this particular Bruno* when we first got here in 2013. He was incarcerated in the juvenile detention center. He was detained for selling cobbler glue for sniffing. His mother had sent him out to do this. We visited him on a weekly basis. His mother never went to see him once. I met his mother once when she was a homeless teen more than twenty years ago. Now, she has about five children or perhaps more. I can’t remember exactly. They were all forced into the “family business.” It is not organized crime. It is very disorganized and involves selling cobbler’s glue for almost nothing. With the little she earns, she manages her household. There are some mental issues too. Bruno was basically born into criminality. I would describe him as gentle and soft-spoken. We celebrated his sixteenth birthday in the detention center. Mary made some special cupcakes for him. We visited him over the course of a year. Eventually, we lost contact with him until recently. He is back in the streets. He looks the same but he is 20 now. He saw us and said that he remembered our simple birthday celebration with him.

Before he was released from the detention center, Bruno asked the staff to place him in a shelter. He thought that his home would just be a reentry back to a life of crime. I have to say that counsellors of the center tried their best to find a shelter for him. Unfortunately, they was unsuccessful. Bruno went to his mother’s house. Now he is part of a gang of robbers.

It is hard for us to imagine that this gentle young man would hurt someone for money. Unfortunately, he is indeed that kind of person. He is part of a dangerous gang. There are two sides of Bruno and they are irreconcilable. I cannot pretend to see only the good side of him. It would be dishonest of me especially when I claim that I am here to proclaim the Truth. I need to face the harsh reality. I know that I am not alone in this dilemma. There are prison chaplains who serve the vilest criminals. They have to struggle not to despise those whom they serve. I don’t despise Bruno. We have a strong affection for him but I hate what he does. Not just him, there is another older teen in this gang of robbers with whom we actually have very close relationship and it breaks our heart to know that they are contaminating their souls doing such things. We still love them but we cannot pretend that they are not dangerous and a menace to society.

When I read the prayer of Jesus, it made me wonder how did Jesus love Judas knowing that he would eventually betray him. Jesus did not treat him any different from the rest. He recognized Judas as one of those whom God has given to Him.

Jesus said, “It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot. John 13:26

In ancient cultures, when the host personally served you a bread he had dipped, it was a sign of intimacy and honor. The rest of the apostles took this for granted and they disregarded the fact that at that particular moment that Jesus was pointing out the traitor to them. Jesus loved and cared for Judas like the rest of them. Judas was the son of destruction and Jesus could not do anything about it. It is strange to even write these words. We think of Jesus as always doing the impossible. However, even God respects the boundaries that He has set. He won’t intervene in our decisions but He still loves us despite our bad choices.

Bruno came up to us and hugged us. He has a strong affection for us and the feeling is mutual. At the same time, there is a gnawing sentiment of disdain within me knowing that he is capable of doing harm to innocent people. I realize that I am also like a Bruno, a torn and divided person. I am not any different from anyone in this world. God wants us to be in the world but not of the world. Perhaps I take comfort in the prayer of Jesus knowing that He still prays this prayer for us.

“Holy Father, keep them in Thy name, whom Thou hast given to me, that they may be one as we are one.” John 17:11

Jesus loved Judas despite knowing what he would do. There was compassion in his words when he said that it would have been better if he was never born (Matthew 26:24). The person who suffered most in the act of betrayal was Judas himself. He will always be remembered for this one thing. His suicide revealed that he never understood the depths of Jesus’ love. Bruno is not Judas nor are the other young men we know that are involved in crime. We can’t see into their future. This is a good thing. However, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to help us become one with Jesus and learn to love with compassion those who do things that grieve our hearts.

 

 

*This is a post I made about Bruno and his mother in 2014.

http://spmercyministry.com/2014/09/18/tragic-tales-of-three-mothers/

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Love comes Tumbling down

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12

A 24 story building collapsed in our neighborhood this week.

It happened on May 1st, the Labor Day holiday. I heard the helicopters flying around our neighborhood all night. These machines are bad omens here in this city. Their presence means that there is a riot or some large scale tragedy. I looked out the window and saw them hovering over a certain spot not far from our home. I knew something bad had happened. It was only in the morning I realized that a building had collapsed.

We got dressed and went to the location. I don’t know why but it just felt like we needed to be there. Obviously, all roads were closed to traffic. The building used to be a government office but has been abandoned for the past twelve years. More recently, it has been home for 150 families from one of the poorest sectors of society. They invaded the building in hopes of getting the attention of the government to help them find affordable housing. There are about 100 abandoned buildings occupied by the homeless poor in the center where we live. These people are not the same as the homeless to whom we minister in the streets. Most of these people have jobs but they cannot pay rent with what they earn. The best option is being squatters in abandoned buildings in the center. Unfortunately, everyone in authority ignores their presences until a tragedy occurs.

As we walked to the site, we passed a famous restaurant along the way. There was a long line of people waiting to eat there. They were talking and laughing away. It was quite surreal. They seemed oblivious to a great tragedy had happened just around the corner. The tragic event was in the news, even the President went to the area. It is hard to ignore such a thing. However, it didn’t concern these people. It has very little to do with their world. It is not our world as well. However, we were slowly making our way there. I am still not sure why.

There were quite a lot of people at the site. They were not mere curious spectators. Many were from the poorer social sector. They were just like us who were drawn to this place. There was almost a melancholic silence that penetrated the souls of everyone there. The press was there with their cameras. The firemen were busy trying to put out the smoldering flames. The city which is usually noisy and unruly could not ignore the silence that permeated the place. The people who lost their homes sat and mourned their loss. No words could console their souls at this moment. Hope was ripped away. There was a sense of total abandonment. Any attempt to comfort them would sound like conventional wisdom. Perhaps silence was the best answer. Some people brought clothes and food. I saw a man going through the clothes and then he walked away without taking a single piece. He realized that he needed something more than clothes and food. He wasn’t sure what. Perhaps, it is hope.

We did absolutely nothing except stand there in silence. We did not feel like we wasted our time. We heard someone calling out our names. It was Sandro. He was the only one of our youths that was present there. It is strange that not more of them were present being close to where they live. In fact, I once went to this very building looking for the mother of one of our boys.

Sandro said that it was the noise of the helicopters that brought him here.

He was a little pensive today. He said that the people made the mistake of living in such a precarious building. It is a comment he heard from some in the streets. It is strange that victims are always the first to be blamed. I told him that the building was built in 1966 and shouldn’t be in such a fragile state. Besides, there is a housing problem in this city. The government has done nothing with this building for the past 12 years but somehow, the victims are being blamed.

Sandro was just trying to understand what happened. He wasn’t passing judgment. I told him that the people were desperate for a home and they took what was available to them. Just I said this, we saw another familiar face. It was Glaucia. She came up and hugged all of us. I knew her since she was 18 and now she is 41. She used to live in the streets just like Sandro. She has had a tough life. She lived in abandoned buildings like these people for many years. She raised her children in these circumstances. We know her sons and they are excellent young men. She heard about the building and came immediately. She knew some people who lived there. However, she also had some good news to share. She was getting a place of her own. She has been living in a slum built on abandoned land and the government decided to remove the people there to make way for some construction. As a result, she was awarded an apartment. It is not free but affordable. It was something that she wanted all her life. After all these years of being homeless, she finally has a permanent address.

After Glaucia went on her way, Sandro asked if it is possible for someone like him to have a permanent address. He had heard people say that everything is possible with hard work and determination. This is another piece of conventional wisdom. The people who stood there watching the building they called home go up in flames were hardworking and determined. I told him that there are no guarantees in life. Today was not a day for easy and quick answers. I told him that many people with material success in life were the first cast the stones at the victims today; calling them lazy and scroungers, etc. I am not sure if we can consider them to be successful people. I know that Jesus would not. Can we, as Christians, consider hateful and indifferent people to be successful? Glaucia is a successful person but not because she has an apartment now. She was homeless most of her life and yet she was still able to love people and care for them. She made a special two-hour trip just to stand in silence with these people who lost everything. No fire can still steal what she has from her.

Sandro looked hungry. Most of the restaurants in the center were closed for the holiday and food is scarce for the homeless on days like this. I asked him if he wanted to get a snack with us. He smiled and we took it as a “yes”. We went to a fast food joint. He ordered only one item. We encouraged him to get something else but he said that he did not want us to spend all our money. We insisted and he ordered something else. He was happy to share the table with us. He asked the same question again. What does it take to be successful? I told him maybe we should strive to be good people. This is something that will always belong to us.

Sandro hugged us and said that he will look for us the next couple of days.

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In His Abiding Presence

Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.  I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5

It seems easy but it is not as easy as it seems. My first encounter with these verses left me with a strange sensation that I had stumbled upon something wonderful and yet I could not grasp its full meaning. I was younger then, in my mid-teens. Maybe I needed more of life experiences to ask the necessary questions when I read this passage. There was another sixteen year old, almost forty years older than me, who struggled with some questions. Unlike me, he grew up in an environment where the Christian faith was dominant. His future was well-defined for him. His grandfather was a Lutheran minister as was his father. He knew what was expected of him. Maybe this is why he grappled with questions that I did not consider at his age. He did not understand these verses but he felt that he could not share his struggles. He was expected to be a pastor with all the answers. He always knew that he had none. I was fortunate in this way. My future then was a mystery. I had the freedom to choose what I wanted to do. I did not have any social pressure to choose a certain vocation. I read these words of abiding in Him and I knew that there was beauty and profound truth in them. Yet, I could not grasp it. I knew that these words are meant to be a comfort for those who struggle. Yet, its meaning was distant from me. I was not alone. My older friend heard these words but did not find any consolation. He felt empty and he carried this emptiness with him as he was ordained as a Lutheran minister.

I met him in Florida. He was a Buddhist monk then, a leader of a small Buddhist congregation. After almost thirty years as Lutheran minister, he finally decided to leave the Christian religion and embrace Buddhism. He fled from one religion to take refuge in another. Unfortunately, he harbored in his heart a subtle anger towards God. He felt that God had never accepted him. Therefore, he rejected God altogether by denying His existence. However, he could not deny the longing in his heart for something greater than himself. Buddhism gave him the freedom to be both an atheist and a believer in something which is undefinable. It sounds like a paradox which is quite consistent with life in itself. Our initial contact was an attempt on his part to instigate a debate. He spent years of theological studies and he was ready to argue against the existence of God. I wasn’t interested. I have never been interested in such things. I am convinced that faith cannot be attained through persuasion. It comes from God. I refused to engage in his debates. He read it as a rejection. Our relationship eventually turned sour. We kept our interactions to a minimum even though we frequently saw each other. I have to admit that I was a little relieved that I did not have to engage him.

One day he had a stroke. He lived alone. He laid on the floor for eight hours waiting for the only person who would notice his absence. It was a neighbor who came by his house daily to check on him. When she came around, his house was already filled with the presence of death. The doctors said that the damage was irreversible. It was a question of time. I heard about his state and went to visit him immediately. I did not know what to expect; perhaps more bitterness and anger towards God. Instead I saw a different man. He smiled as I walked into the room. He said, “I was just thinking about you.” He had a story that he wanted to share desperately with me.

As he laid on the floor waiting and thinking about his imminent death, he said that he recalled the voice of his Sunday school teacher saying these words to him,

“God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” 1 John 4:16

For eight hours, this verse kept going through his mind over and over again. Each time he thought about it, everything became clearer to him. He had spent years trying to figure out God. He tried to please the God that religion had created and molded with doctrines and formulas. He found this God of his imagination unsatisfactory. However, now, things became clearer. He saw Jesus in a different light. Jesus came to show us how to abide in God through Love. “We don’t have to figure out God.” His eyes were bright and alive when he told me this, “We just receive His Love and walk in His loving example. It is receiving and participating in Love that opens our eyes to see God.” It is so simple, he added, “and yet I have complicated everything.”

I visited him almost weekly after this and sometimes twice a week. It is funny to think that I used to make an effort to avoid him not too long ago. Now, I knew that I would genuinely miss him. It was a pleasure to talk to him. He discovered the God of Love. He was able to edify everyone around him. He continued to be a Buddhist monk. He shared with his congregation that in a way Buddhism brought him back to Jesus. I am not sure that they understood him but they could sense the change in his heart.

At that time, he wanted to give me something precious. It was a statue of the Resurrected Christ. It was handcrafted out of olive wood in Israel and was given to him by a famous Danish artist. He has carried it with him all his life even though he stopped professing the Christian faith. This statue has brought new meaning to him. He wanted me to have it. It was the first thing that came to my mind when I read the above gospel text.

I left for Brazil not long after and this elderly man passed away soon after. He was buried as a Buddhist missionary. It was the faith that helped him meet the Resurrected Christ. He doesn’t belong to any religion. He belongs to the Father. My friend had spent his whole life searching for the Resurrected Christ and when he was lying there thinking all is lost, he found Him. He realized that He has always been with him. Perhaps, this is why he heard the voice from his childhood repeating the verse over and over again. It was a voice that he ignored for many years. However, Jesus spoke to him then and had always been speaking to him. He wasn’t able to hear His voice because he wanted God to be something else. He ended up rejecting God in the process. However, it doesn’t matter. He met the Resurrected Christ. This was not a death bed conversion. It was a life giving encounter. It was an answer to questions he asked. He did not waste his life. I talk about him all the time. This man’s life makes me understand the depth of God’s love.

The statue will go with me wherever God sends me until I can give to someone else to carry this symbolic gift. Jesus is the same today, yesterday and forever and He will meet us where we are spiritually.

Once in a while, not too often, I wonder if people think that we are strange. A middle aged couple sitting on the dirty floor of a square and playing games with homeless children and teens. I wonder if people understand we are doing. Sometimes I wonder if I understand what I am doing. Then one day a man crossed the street to where we were and he was physically disabled and walked with a limp. I noticed him because it seemed like a struggle for him to cross the street. To my surprise, he walked up to us and said that he worked in the building nearby. Everyday he watched us from his window and sees us playing the children and teens. He wanted to say that it meant a lot to him. I felt God’s presence in a rich and abiding way. Abiding in Him is not something we figure but it is something we do through love.

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The Good Shepherd

Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:11-15)

An image comes to mind. You know it too. It’s ubiquitous; stained glass windows in our chapels or a cheap framed picture of the Good Shepherd cuddling a sweet lamb in a background where everything is peaceful and harmonious. There are no wolves, no careless hirelings, no death. You almost wonder why they need a shepherd. Jesus paints a different picture. He tells of a good Shepherd that leads the sheep through unsavory places where cowards and killers dwell. It is into this world which the Good Shepherd inserts Himself. Chaos and Death is always lurking around waiting for the right moment to devour the sheep. We find the same image in the famous Psalm 23;

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. “

Often read at funerals, in reality this Psalm addresses living in the real world. In such a world, it is more comfortable to stay put where we are, especially when we feel safe and secure. On the other hand, the Good Shepherd is always thinking about places where the pasture is green and the waters are refreshing. He is opening new doors that lead to all kinds of complications. He upsets our comfortable lives just because He wants us to have better spiritual food. Won’t it be easier if He makes the place we are to flourish and be abundant, then we won’t have to leave our comfort zone. Alas, the Good Shepherd has a mind of His own. He can be quite disagreeable. I have never seen an artistic portrayal of Him as such. I was quite comfortable with the way things are but I heard His voice. It is hard to resist His voice even though I know that we are going to walk in unknown territories. If I insist in remaining where I am, then eventually His voice will become faint and one day vanish altogether.

We obeyed the Shepherd’s voice this week. Consequently, it was a busy week. Unfortunately, we achieved absolutely nothing.

One by one they came up to us. Young adults who have spent their entire childhood in the streets and now, they want something to change for the better. They have been comfortable in the streets most of their lives. Suddenly, they felt something prompting them. They realized that there must be a green pasture out there because where they are presently seems like a desert. Wallace articulated it perfectly. He said that there was no peace in the streets. All the conversations and activities are concerned with violence and crime. He knows that there is something better. Wallace, Dreyson and Felipe were the first to express a desire for change. The first step was getting all their civil documents. Getting documents for any regular person is a dreaded and complicated process. It requires of hours of waiting and waiting until we realize that we have been waiting for the wrong thing at the wrong places. However, it has to be done. It is an important step for our children and teens. They will become like everyone else in society. Having your name registered means that society recognizes that you are an individual. Now, they want to be recognized. It sounds wonderful but it is also very unnerving. They are not like everyone. They are disadvantaged. They lived their whole lives in the streets. There are many in the world who look at them with disdain and prejudice. They have no schooling. They have no skills. They are going to face rejections. They are going to be disappointed. They are going into a world where wolves abide. They want us to walk with them. They are going to look to us for our guidance. It is a time of decision for us. We can be like hirelings or shepherds. However, I am comfortable being a shepherd where I am but the Good Shepherd is calling us to move to greener pastures.

Dreyson was the only one who got all his documents. For Wallace and Felipe, after hours of waiting and sometimes enduring humiliating situations and questionings, we learned that we lacked more documents to get what we needed. No one informed us of this when we started the process. We prayed that these young men would not give up. We tried to encourage them but they surprised us. They were smiling and happy that something was happening in their lives even though we seem to hit an obstacle every time. They said that they were going to go forward. However, they wanted us to go with them.

Dreyson got all his documents. Unfortunately, it means absolutely nothing. This is a wolf that stands in our way to the green pasture. He still does not have any prospect of getting a job. However, our eyes should not be on the wolf even though it brandishes the sword of death threateningly at us. He asked about getting a job. I did not have an answer for him. Then I realized that we don’t have to worry about it now. The Good Shepherd has brought us here. His voice will guide us to the next step. I told Dreyson that we will figure out what the next step should be. He smiled. It was the answer he wanted to hear. He said that he wants to take one step at a time towards life. It seems like he heard the Shepherd’s voice as well.

We heard the Shepherd’s voice. It was a busy week and we got a lot done.

I was a little uncomfortable about going to these offices and facing the arrogant and sometimes unhelpful bureaucrats. I would prefer to stay in the streets and teach them how to read and write and talk about God. I did not like to plead with the people to help these teens and young adults because they were homeless. I found the whole process very humiliating for our young people. I did not want to expose their lowly state to everyone. However, the Good Shepherd is calling us to move on to greener pastures. He wants to bring these young men and women to a different place. These young people have heard the voice but they are afraid to proceed alone. They are like sheep. They want an older sheep to walk with them as we follow the Shepherd. It has changed something in our relationship with them. Perhaps, this is in itself the place of green pasture and fresh waters.

I am not sure where we are going. I am sure that it is going to be an uncomfortable journey. There are wolves in every corner. We don’t have to fight them. The Shepherd will take care of them. He is not going to fight them as well. He doesn’t succumb to their ways and means. He will overcome them. We don’t want to imagine a fictitious reality in our minds where all young people will have good jobs and nice homes. It would be great if it was true. However, we don’t know. The Good Shepherd has a different way of looking at life. For now, we just listen to His voice and He will continue to guide us. Perhaps in these offices where people work for a system that is unkind and uncaring we might meet some sheep of the Good Shepherd. Hopefully, together we will discover that the sheep are more prominent in this world than the wolves. Perhaps this is what the Good Shepherd wants to reveal to us. We don’t know but for now, it is enough to know that we have a Good Shepherd leading the way.

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Authentic Witness

“Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day,  and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. “ Luke 24:46-49

There are things I have witnessed and there are situations where I was a mere spectator. The former remain with me always. A distraught mother touching the stain of dried blood which used to sustain the life of her daughter; the gaze of young man about my age as he plunged off a bridge and hit the ground: these are things I witnessed. They are not recent events but they are always fresh in my heart. I think about them, they become things of the present and not mere memory. I can see the face of the young suicide victim seconds before his light was extinguished forever. He looked lost even as he breathed his last breath. We were doing exactly what we do today. We were playing a card game with the children. Everything got disrupted, of course. We decided to leave the scene as soon as the police arrived. One of the young teens asked us why we were leaving. I told her that the suicide disturbed us. She replied, “You’ re leaving just because you witnessed a death?” I thought it was a strange thing to say. Now, I realize she was right. You can’t leave after witnessing something like this. I don’t remember her name. Her words will always be remembered. I witnessed a death and now I am committed. I wasn’t really sure what I was committed to and I am still unclear. Perhaps this was why it was disturbing. I know something needed to change within me but I was afraid of the change.

You may be wondering why am I sharing the negative encounters and not the positive ones. Spectators define life along these lines. A good movie, a good game ….the list goes on. All these things have little influence in our lives except maybe to stir up our sentiments. However, witnessing something is strange. The simplistic boundaries of positive and negative experience get blurred. Something new and strange tries to permeate into your soul. Some try to resist it. I did not. I don’t know why. Perhaps I did not want to forget. The girl, whose mother sat and gazed what was left of her, her name was Rosana. Nobody knows her name in the streets. I do. She is still alive in our souls.

Jesus told His disciples to be witnesses. We assume that this is the mandate given to all disciples. However, there is question we need to ask as modern Christians. We need to ask ourselves what are we witnessing. The first disciples saw firsthand the suffering of Jesus and His resurrection from the dead. They saw the hopelessness and desperation of the Cross and then the foundation of everything they knew was shaken at the Resurrection. These were concrete and palpable events for them and not doctrines like in our case. Except perhaps, when we prayerfully read their accounts through their writings. We can sense the intensity and transformation they felt through their writings. It is real because they witnessed it. However, this is exclusively their privilege. We cannot witness the way they did because we did not witness the whole event. We have to discover what it means for us to be a witness in this time and age.

When I first came to this ministry, I was young and naive. I thought that if I told them the story of Jesus, the homeless will see the Light and be transformed. I did and I felt a little awkward sharing the story. It was then I realized that it wasn’t my story. I never completed what I started. I decided that I need to share something real and not some doctrine. I did not how to go about doing it. Therefore, I learned to be quiet and wait.
Then the Holy Spirit opened our eyes and hearts to see how we are to be witnesses in this world.

There was a group of university students at the steps of the Cathedral. They were on a tour of the historical sites of the city. It was time for a photo shoot. There was a homeless man sitting behind them. We know him but not his name. He likes to sit outside the church and beg for money. He stood and addressed the students. We expected some bit for money. Instead, he pointed out that everyone in group was “white’’ whereas Brazil has population has a fifty percent of Afro-Brazilians. In fact, Brazil has the second largest population of people of Afro-descent after Nigeria. He himself was black. He asked them why there was not even one person of his skin tone represented among them. It was a good question. They ignored him. Maybe because they did not have the answer. He waited and then he said, “Okay, maybe you can give some change.” Then returned back to his usual place and sat there. I wondered how many of his questions have gone unanswered. Always instantly, the biblical image of Job came to my mind. The steps of the Cathedral are filled with homeless adults and children and all them have unanswered questions. These are the “Jobs” of our modern society. They waited for an answer from anyone and have become tired of being ignored. Drugs and alcohol are the best consolation. They have long lost interest in the arguments of Job’s friends who always seem to be in abundance everywhere. They never have the answer these “Jobs” are searching for. I imagine that these students, in their classes, have heard some answers that Job’s friends would provide to answer the problem of society. However, when they were confronted with someone in a real life, they could not answer him. I understand how they feel. I felt that way too.

In the Book of Job, he never got the answer that he was looking for but he witnessed God. It is not about having the right answers. It is knowing that someone is listening to your questions. Job wanted to know if God was willing to listen to his questions. Even though the answer he received basically put him in his place, it did not matter. Job was satisfied. The homeless man asked the students why he was born into poverty and not wealth like them. They did not have an answer. He wasn’t expecting one. He perhaps wanted to know if there was anyone who cared enough to listen to his questions. He wanted to know if his appearances and social status have determined a life of misery forever. These are hard questions. Everyone of the homeless including our children are asking similar questions. Of course, I want to tell them that God will answer these questions like He did to Job. However, this would be just words. I have to be a genuine witness. I have to ask these questions myself and hear God’s voice for myself before I can testify to others.

Dreyson asked us a question. He wanted to know if he could ever be a bus driver. It is his dream. It seems like a simple question. One that conventional courtesy expects to answer with a resounding, “Yes”. However, we know him. He wants to know if we believe that he can do it. He wants a genuine answer. He wants to know if he has what it takes to overcome all the obstacles that life has thrown at him. We said that he has all the potential to become one, as long as he has patience and perseverance. We believed that he could if he kept his eyes on God and not on the words of men. However, Dreyson was not ready for a religious answer. He asked if we will accompany him to take all the necessary steps. We said, “yes.” It was an answer to God as well. Yes, we will be the witnesses of His faithfulness to those who are not ready to listen to His answers yet. We can only do this because God has answered all our questions and has brought to be with these children in the streets.

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