Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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The Visible and the Invisible

“The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.”- Luke 13:19

We were sitting on the steps of the cathedral. It was still early. It takes a while for the children to find their way to this regular meeting place. A man walked up to the front of the cathedral, waving a well-used bible in his hand, and started preaching at the top of his voice. He is a street preacher from a local pentecostal church. It was hard to make out what he was saying exactly. He fluctuated between frantic screaming to quiet mumbling. I have a feeling that he mumbled through the best bits. Nevertheless he got the attention of many. Some were filming him. Others just stopped and watched his antics for few moments before going back to business. No one actually was listening. The preaching sounded a little erratic and wasn’t creating any real connection with the people. This fact didn’t seem to bother him. Besides us, there were homeless adults and some young ladies watching this scene. The ladies were tourists who had just visited the cathedral. Then, out of the blue, a Roman Catholic priest walked by dressed in his cassock. It seemed like a joke was in progress, all we needed now was a rabbi. The tourists immediately approached the priest. It seems like they had something on their mind and wanted to speak to a religious figure. They chose the priest instead of the preacher. He listened intently to them while in the background the man was shouting something about sin and idolatry. The priest prayed with the tourists and blessed each one with the sign of the Cross on their foreheads. The ladies were visibly pleased and we overheard one of them say that she felt very blessed today. The priest then turned to the people sitting on the steps and reached out and shook the hands of a homeless man. He prayed a short blessing and the man smiled at him appreciatively. He made an effort to do the same for the rest of homeless adults. Finally he made eye contact with us and smiled and did the same for us. After which, he walked quietly back into the church. Meanwhile our solitary pentecostal preacher continued screaming his head off. Everyone eventually lost interest in him and he gave up and left.

Two kinds of Christianity were displayed right before our very eyes. One was very visible and had the attention of many but it did not touch anyone. The priest, even though he was part of the established church, was basically invisible. Hardly anyone noticed his presence except those who were close by but, in a very brief moment, he connected with many.

Visible Christianity is often heard and seen in the world. It is the religion that makes outrageous and embarrassing statements and proclamations. They claim that they are doing everything for the gospel but in reality they are only making themselves visible. They want the world to know that they are a strong and powerful presence. They adopt the methods and standards of the world. Everything becomes a question of strategy and numbers. People are no longer the end but a means to an end. Their end is visibility in the world. This religion has more in common with the spirituality of the Pharisee which Jesus spoke ardently against in the gospels. Jesus criticized them not because they adopted the principles of the world in their spirituality but because they claimed that they had monopoly of true spirituality. This seems to be the attitude of visible Christianity.

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.”- Matthew 6:1

Jesus and the apostles did preach in the streets. They did not preach for the sake of preaching or promoting their movement. They preached to connect with people. Jesus did not heal to show that the gospel was true. He healed because He wanted to heal people. He did miracles because He had compassion for the people. He wanted people to understand the true nature of the gospel. For Jesus, it was always about the people. They were His goal. He wanted to connect with them. Nothing He did was to promote His own visibility. He spoke out against such attempts. Satan tempted Jesus with instant visibility in the world. Jesus turned him away. It is not compatible with the gospel. Visible Christianity is a kind of Christianity that is just visible but it doesn’t connect with people. It preaches a different gospel where people are just a means to an end.

“The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed….” Luke 13:19

I used to be a little confused about this reference to a mustard seed. A mustard plant is not a tree but Jesus made it sound like it was. I heard preachers say that this reveals Jesus’ sense of humor. It is a bit of a stretch. A closer look at the verse reveals that Jesus wasn’t talking about mustard plant. He said that that it was like a mustard seed and not a mustard seed. The presence of the Kingdom of God can be so small and quiet that it can be easily overlooked like a mustard seed. However, the potentiality of this small presence or lack of visibility does not hinder it from reaching great heights. The lack of visibility should not concern us because it doesn’t mean that it is not powerful. From Jesus’ perspective, being small is very positive. This concept is contrary to the system of this world. In this world, big always seems to be better because it has visibility. The world operates and understands only one reality; the material reality. The gospel opens the spiritual dimension to us. Unfortunately, Christians are more impressed with the material than the spiritual reality of the gospel. Christians seem to be always more impressed with bigger churches even when they do nothing to promote the reality of the gospel. Small churches are always considered in the negative light. No one speaks highly of a small church because small is synonymous with impotence according worldly standards. This idea is so prevalent and influential that even I believed it at one point. I still battle against it because I live in this world. However, we are not of this world and our Lord is our guide to live according to the principles of the Kingdom of God while functioning in this world. Our Lord Himself never bothered with having a large group of disciples. He avoided large crowds whenever possible. He refused to promote His own visibility even when his own family recommended it (John 7:3). He refused to break bread with those who were influential in the world. He walked and dwelled with those who were invisible in society. He always took the time to be with the people because they were his goal. He sought to build relationship with his disciples. He knew them by name. He knew about them. He knew them. This was only humanly possible in a small group.

The world overlooks the small because it is not focused on relationship. the world want us to achieve goals and results especially when they improve visibility. Small actions are invisible actions as long as the world is concerned and so are not commendable. Sometimes the media spotlights invisible actions in the news and always reduces them to something sentimental and vacuous. They just become nice and sweet stories that bring warmth to our otherwise cold souls. This is not how the Kingdom of God understands small and invisible actions.

The invisible priest did what came naturally to him. He wasn’t trying to draw attention to himself. He wasn’t trying to give visibility to the gospel or the church. He just lived the gospel in a simple way. In our churches and communities, there are tons of Christians who live the gospel in an invisible manner. Sometimes, they are members of churches that promote visible Christianity. They can be elderly women who visit their friends who are lonely. They can be people who always try to help those who are grieving with simple gestures of comfort. The priest prayed for the people around him. He did nothing spectacular. He just did simple things that almost anyone could do, except for the blessing of course if you are from a liturgical tradition. The priest connected with people within his means. This is something all of us can do but not everyone can preach in the streets. The gospel is about connecting us to people and through us, we hope people can see the Eternal Hope in Christ.

The children arrived shortly afterwards. We sat and drew with them. Caio came up after a month of absence and asked to play a game of Uno with me. We sat together and connected with each one. Not many words were spoken but there was a strong connection. If there wasn’t, the children and teens wouldn’t spend hours with us. Someone passing by would not understand what we were doing. They would think that we were wasting our time. It doesn’t matter. We are not doing it for them. We are doing this because it is good and wonderful to be connected with the people God brings to us. The message of the gospel is a message of reconciliation. When we connect with people in genuine way, the power of the gospel is manifested beyond words in the lives of everyone.

The priest in his invisibility has touched not just our hearts, but the hearts of the tourists, as well as some of the homeless who had eyes and ears to see what the Holy Spirit is doing.

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches”- Rev. 2:29

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Walking in My Shoes

And the blind man cried, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And those who were in front rebuked him, telling him to be silent; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” And Jesus stopped, and commanded him to be brought to him; and when he came near, he asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, let me receive my sight.”- Luke 18:38-41

Bruno doesn’t have any shoes. He walks barefoot in the streets. His heels are dry and cracked. Perhaps you are wondering why don’t we just buy him a pair of shoes. We have thought about this before, after all; why wouldn’t he want a pair of shoes? Well, he doesn’t. He had a pair of flip-flops and he gave them away to another homeless person. He is perfectly comfortable walking barefooted. He doesn’t like wearing shoes. Maybe it is because he never had shoes growing up.

Bruno was placed in an orphanage at a very young age. His mother could not afford to take care of him. However, Bruno had other siblings but he was the only one who went to the orphanage. He doesn’t recall much of his family. He knows that he has a younger sister whose name is barely remembers. He has mentioned once that he would like to meet her. She would be fourteen now. He has lost all contact with his family. He does not even have any idea where his mother lives. He thinks that she would not recognize him even if she passed him on the street. I told him that this would be impossible. A mother never forgets her son.

From Bruno’s point of view, he was rejected by his family. I am sure that it wasn’t an easy choice for his mother. Poverty and other circumstances drove her to place her son in an orphanage. The other children remained with her. No matter how much we try it is impossible to explain the rejection away. Perhaps Bruno’s way of accepting extreme poverty in his appearance is an attempt to convince himself and others that he does not need material things. He was taken away from his family because of money and if he could live without it, maybe he thinks that people would not reject him. Not matter what his real reasons are, he has learned to organize his world without any need for it. Perhaps if we forced him to wear a pair of shoes, it could just upset his personal world order. Bruno would rather give up our relationship with him than upset his “perfect world”.

Bruno wanted to introduce us to a woman whom he met recently. He only had good things to say about her. When we met her, we could see why. She was a kind and generous person. They had crossed paths when he was begging outside a restaurant where she had lunch. She gave him a generous gift. It was a large offering which left Bruno amazed. She saw something in him and wanted to take the extra step to help him. She offered to put him up in a hostel where he could get cleaned and groomed. She was going to help him get his documents sorted out. As she is an owner of a successful circus, she wanted Bruno to work there. She told us that she grew up in a circus and it was very much like an open family. She was sure that Bruno would adapt well there. The problem is that Bruno was not part of this conversation. He just smiled and nodded agreeably to whatever she said. He made a comment that he never imagined living or working in a circus before. Before anyone could saying anything, she was already making all the necessary phone calls. At no point, Bruno disagreed with her but he did not agree to anything as well. The lady was kind and generous but she did not know Bruno. She assumed what she knew what Bruno needed. This is a dangerous assumption.

I don’t need to be a prophet to foretell the future in this case. This woman was going to disappointed that Bruno completely disregarded all her efforts to help him. She might come to think negatively of him. She might even say that he is an ungrateful young man and perhaps lazy. None of this would be true of Bruno but one would need to know him to understand why he refuses any help. The problem is not with Bruno or the woman. It is the way we approach people. We have a tendency to assume that we know what the neighbor needs. Jesus never did this unless He had a personal insight into the person’s life. Just because Bruno begs for his food does not mean that he is going to jump at every opportunity of a job. We must not assume that the homeless are sitting around waiting for one of us to give them an opportunity. The truth us that they have learned to survive in their situation. Bruno was organized his life to survive in this world. He believes it to be secure and stable and he is not going to give this up just because we offer a nice job and promise of a good life. These promises do not mean anything to him. He would prefer to hold on to reality that he is familiar with than give up everything for a possibility with no guarantees. If someone came to us right now where we are in life and made us an offer of a better life and we have to give up everything we have known to be our security in order to attain it, would we do it ?

Perhaps, some would say that if we were in Bruno’s shoes, we would take the opportunity. This is the problem. It is impossible for anyone to walk in Bruno’s shoes. They only fit him. His pains and joys, which have helped him formulate his worldview according to his personality and temperament, belong to him alone. He is an individual being and we are individual beings. Even if I spend a year living in the streets as a homeless person, I will never be able to think and act like Bruno. The best that I could do is to think like Stephen pretending to be homeless. When I assume what is good for someone like Bruno, I imagine myself to be Bruno and then think of things that I would want. Again, it is what Stephen wants and not what Bruno believes to be important. It is impossible for me to know what Bruno needs and wants to make his world better. Only he alone can tell these things. When Jesus, in the quoted text above, saw a blind man crying out for mercy. Jesus did not assume anything. He did not assume that he wanted to see. He respected the man and asked him what he wanted.

Asking someone what they want or need is an important question that opens the door into the life of the person whom we want to help. We judge the needs of the people by appearances. This is not an edifying approach because it simplifies everything. People are more complex than their basic needs. Bruno has been judged unfairly by his appearance his whole life. If we want to build a lasting relationship with anyone whom we are called to serve, then we have to follow the example of Jesus. We have to allow the people to share their needs with us. It may not be what we think of as priority but we must be careful that in our attempt to help someone that we do not dehumanize them further. Every human being has developed their own system of survival and we need to respect it. It is something that they have constructed based on their personal experiences. Jesus did not impose His godly ways on people. He gave them the freedom to allow Him into their lives as they were comfortable and ready. He never asked the old woman whose ailment he healed to become his disciple. He just healed her and let her carry on with her life. I am sure that she was transformed by the incident but she needed time to reorganize her world to truly understand what Jesus had done.

We spoke to Bruno a few days later. He said that he stopped going to the place where he met this lady. He said that he was afraid that she would force him to do something that he wasn’t ready to do yet. He did not want her to think that he was lazy or did want any help. He was just not ready to give up everything that he has known as his security and freedom to live in a circus. We encouraged him to be honest with the woman. I said that the most responsible thing to do was to go back and explain to her that the timing was not right for him to leave everything behind but he really appreciated her help. He seemed to like this idea. To my surprise, he immediately stood up and decided to go back to the place where he met her and be honest with her. It had been bothering him for some time. I said a little prayer and hoped that she would understand his position.

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A Conversation with Wellington

So Zacchaeus ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree to see him, because he was going to pass that way. When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” So he hurried down and was happy to welcome him. All who saw it began to grumble and said, “He has gone to be the guest of one who is a sinner.” Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, “Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay back four times as much.”-Luke 19:4-8

I was sitting on the Cathedral steps waiting for the children when Wellington sneaked up from behind and startled me. He had a good laugh and then asked about Mary. She had to stay at home to get some work done in our apartment. Without missing a beat, Wellington was anxious to show the sum of money he earned during the week. He worked in a construction project but he quit after a week. I asked if there were vacancy for this job. I was thinking about Igor and Mateus. He thought that the work was demanding and dangerous. He said that he wouldn’t recommend it to his worst enemy. I asked him what he was going to do with all the money he had earned. He wanted to take the other children to MacDonald’s and keep the rest to rent a room in a hostel. He had enough for a week. However, the first thing after he received his paycheck was to stop by the first church on his way to leave a donation in the offering box. I was a little surprised. I asked him why he did this. He said that he wanted to be connected to God. He said perhaps this little contribution would help him to take another step towards Baptism one day. He would like to be a Christian but he feels that he is not ready yet. He never had a religious upbringing but his parents were superstitious. They never went to church or observed any religious festivals. He started going to church on his own when he was a young boy. He always liked being in a church. He added that he liked talking with us because we help him feel connected to him to God. Needless to say, I was encouraged by this and it boosted my ego.

His name is actually spelled “Uelington” which is how “Wellington” is pronounced in Portuguese. His parents were illiterate. They did not know how to spell his name and the person at the registry wrote down his name the way it sounded. Unlike most of our children, Wellington was born in a rural setting. Beside this, he also had a very strong relationship with his father. Many of the children have never seen their fathers whereas Wellington adored his father. He worked with him when he was a young boy and he always did everything to be close to him. His mother, unfortunately, was an alcoholic. He never had any strong affection for her. He speaks of her with disdain. His world eventually collapsed when his father suddenly died. He was forced to deal with his mother and other siblings who have followed the footsteps of her alcoholism. He never suffered physical abuse although he thinks it would have been better if he did. It was the unkind words proffered against him by his mother that have scarred his soul till today. He left his little rural town when he was barely thirteen and went to a city as far away as possible from his mother. This was the last time he saw her and he is twenty-two now.

It is rare that we have a serious conversation with Wellington. He is jovial person and often uses humor to hide his true nature. Today was different. He was ready for a conversation. Wellington shared that he was there on the night when a mentally-ill person poured gasoline on me and tried to set me on fire. He actually pushed her away when she tried for the second time to light her lighter. I was in a such a state of confusion that I did not notice his presence there. He said he was amazed that the whole event did not change the way we work with them. He attributed this to faith. He also said that the woman had recently died and I was still well and alive. I stopped him before he could say that it was retribution. I wanted him to know that things don’t work this way. It was sad that this woman had met a tragic end. She had suffered her whole life with mental illness and hopefully she is at peace now.

I told him that I don’t why the lighter did not work at the moment. If she had successfuly set me on fire, it would not have changed anything about God or our faith in Him. Nevertheless, I was glad and grateful to be alive. Wellington asked if I believed that God protected me from a premature death. I told him that some would answer say, “Yes!” without any hesitation. However, it is not an easy question to answer. The very night of the incident, I read some news about a young college student in the States who experienced the exact same thing as I did but she died. Her family and friends described her as a kind and gentle person. Her family might ask why God did not save her? We have no answer for the family. We can ask why God did not spare His Son from the Cross. There can never be an adequate answer. Perhaps the question is wrong. God came to be with us. He wants to show us something more profound and mysterious of life. It is not about getting him to do things we want or desire. I desire that everyone I love would be safe all the time but God did not come to this world to do this. He is Emmanuel, God with us.

All I can say confidently is that God was with me at the moment and He was with the girl in the States. The outcome is different from both of us. We need faith to process what God is doing in each person’s situation. In my case, God wanted me to return to the streets the next day. I believe that having faith does not mean that God is going to do exactly what we want. It is just knowing that God is going to be with us and He will give us the strength to rise above each situation.

Thankfully the conversation did not end there. Wellington went on to share his favorite story from the gospel. It is the one quoted above about Zacchaeus. He said in the story everyone was gathering around Jesus. They had expectations of him. They heard that he did miracles and healing. They wanted to experience these things. Zacchaeus was despised by society and naturally he did not expect Jesus to treat him any different. Perhaps he was the only one in the crowd who did not have any ulterior motive. He just wanted to see the person of Jesus. There was no expectation on his part, except the joy of seeing the Messiah. Jesus did not perform any miracles or healing in Zacchaeus’ home but He just dined with him. The result was a transformed life. Wellington went on to say that he wants to have the attitude of Zacchaeus. He confessed that whenever he prays in church he wants God to do things for him but at the same he just really wants to see God’s presence in His life. He does not need God to answer his prayers at all, as long as he knows that God is present.

I sat there and listened to Wellington profess these beautiful words. He has said something that suffices for the moment. He defined what it means to have a relationship with a personal God. It is an unconditional relationship. He is not a personal God when He does things for us. He is a personal God because He is present in our lives. Wellington wants to be like Zacchaeus because he wants a genuine transformation like the one the tax collector experienced. I believe that it will happen one day. For now, I am glad that I had this enriching conversation with him.

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From Them to Us

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. -Philippians 2:5-8

There were boxes everywhere. Our one-bedroom apartment looked even smaller than before and at the same time we were amazed how much stuff we managed to pack away in this tiny space. We were far from finished and would move in two days. Our new home is a two bedroom apartment within the same neighborhood. The past few days we have been walking back and forth making sure that everything was ready for our big move. Consequently, our visits with the children have been less frequent. We were anxious to return our normal schedule. We miss giving our fullest attention to our children. There is a sense of emptiness in our souls whenever we are away from them.

I was also a little concerned for Igor. Ever since his departure from the streets, he has been living in a neighborhood about two hours away from where we are located. He has maintained contact with us through infrequent visits to our home. Now, we had no way of letting him know our change of address. We definitely did not want to lose our connection with Igor. Unfortunately, all the preparation for the move left us exhausted and we did not have the energy to find ways of getting in touch with Igor. After packing and organizing for hours, we were ready for a quiet and restful night. Then the buzzer rang and Igor was downstairs.

He was not alone. There was a young man with him. Both of the were dressed in a suit and dress shirt. Igor did not look anything like the person in the streets three years ago. Igor’s friend, Mateus, was covered with tattoos which his long-sleeve shirt wasn’t able to hide completely. Some of them were gang-related. His face looked familiar but at first instance I wasn’t able to recollect where I have met him. The boys navigated through the boxes to find a place to sit. Mateus, noticing our accents, started asking a barrage of questions about us and our background. He was like a little child with his sense of wonder. Then it hit me. I had seen him in one of my visits to the juvenile reform center. We had never spoken before but I remembered on that occasion he smiled longingly at us hoping to have some sort of connection. The juvenile centers have strict rules. We are only allowed to have interactions with the one we were visiting. For some reason, Mateus caught my attention then. I don’t know exactly why but his face and demeanor stayed with me. I remember commenting to Mary that this young man had all the outward expressions of a hardened criminal but his eyes and gestures revealed that his innocence was intact. He was detained for trafficking drugs but, despite his criminal involvement, his soul was not tainted or closed to God. It was this same characteristic trait that triggered my memory. When I told him that remembered him from that singular visit to the juvenile center, his face lit up. This was about more than two years ago. It was clear to see that he was happy that he left an impression in me. Mateus was incarcerated till he turned 19. He is 21 now. He wants to experience a different life. This was why they were in my living room.

It was joyful and heartbreaking to listen to these two young men. They had spent past few days looking for work. They were desperate and willing to do anything. They were open to be cleaners, road sweepers, construction workers…anything. They are living together with Mateus’ brother. Like Mateus, he was also once involved in the drug trade but he wants to change his lifestyle. Their present goal is very simple. They want to earn enough to pay for food and shelter. They are attending a church in their neighborhood. They have made their new-found faith as the foundation and strength for them to take a bold step towards change. They were in my apartment to ask for our assistance. They wanted to know if we knew someone who would give them a job. These boys have never had a job before. They did not where or how to start. They never had any adults in their lives to help them.

Things are extremely hard now. The economy has been stagnant for years. Besides, it has never been easy for the poorest of the poor. Steady employment among the poor is a dream that a few are able to realize. Most survive by doing odd jobs here and there. The pay is miserable but many are able to survive on it. It is going to be challenge for them to find something stable. Unfortunately, I did not have any contacts. Even if we did, there is no guarantee that it would ensure them any employment. They don’t have any skills yet. They are open and willing to do some training. This might be helpful for the future but for now they need income for the basics. There were no easy answers for them. The only thing that we could offer them was to walk with them and help them think about planning their goals to achieve the things they want. I felt that this offer was weak and deficient in the face of their struggles. We said a short prayer together.

I expected these two earnest young men to be little disappointed. They needed some concrete help and we had nothing to offer them. I was feeling disappointed and a little inadequate myself. Then Mateus surprised us. He said that they were grateful that we treated them as equals. Initially I was a little confused by this statement. These young men are facing eviction from a tiny shack in a slum. They don’t have any money for food. They are no idea whether they might find a job soon. We, on the other hand, are moving to a bigger apartment. We have more things than we need in our living room packed in boxes. Materially speaking, we are better off than them. However, Mateus and Igor were able to overlook the material and financial differences between us and discover equality with us. Our relationship made the transition from “we” and “them” to “us”.

They came looking for us to help them find employment. Our vulnerability or lack of ability to fulfill this role helped us become one with them. They saw that we were not some superheroes that solve problems at the drop of a hat. We were just as limited in what we can do just as they were. They had spent the whole day looking for work and being rejected by every business that they approached. Feelings of inferiority must have been rampant in their souls. Sitting in the living room and listening to us say that we have no power to solve their problem helped them in some way regain their humanity. Sometimes we think that we have to solve all the problems of those who come to us for help. However, not being able to do anything can also be helpful and powerful. We did not have the resources to help them but we wanted to be with them. They wanted to come to a place where they can feel like human beings with dignity. Unbeknownst to us, being in our home has helped them regain their dignity as human beings. This is not just our interpretation. Igor clarified this to us. He told us that when we opened our home to him for the first time, he felt that we made a special transition in our relationship. It was no longer a relationship of “We” and “Them” but we are now “us”. Being unable to supply all the answers in a strange way helped us see this even clearer.

Jesus emptied Himself of all Godhood so that He could become a servant. For some pragmatic minds, it would have been more advantageous if Jesus came to us with all His divine power and solved the problems of the world. The gospels tell us that multitudes followed Jesus to see and experience some of his supernatural feats. Many believed in Jesus so that they could have access to some divine power in their lives. Jesus did heal and perform miracles. I believe that the miracles of Jesus were not an essential element of his ministry. I know that some may disagree with me here and this is fine. We don’t have agree on everything. The miracles are not the gospel. Jesus is the gospel. He came to make the transition from “We” and “God” to “God with us”. The good news is God become One with us. The moment when this happened in its fullness was at the Cross. Jesus chose to be vulnerable like us. He chose to be like those who suffer indignity and endure humiliation to the point where they doubt their humanity. Jesus chose to forego His right as God in order to identify with these people. For them, Jesus who is One with Them brings much more consolation than Jesus the super-hero who overcomes all His enemies with the sword. This participation in the vulnerability and suffering of humanity brought back dignity and hope to those who face this on a daily basis.

If we had endless resources, perhaps we could give Igor and Mateus a job. There is no guarantee that the work we might be able to provide for them would bring joy and hope to them. It would not necessarily restore any dignity to them. Perhaps it could even be an obstacle between us and them. Most likely they would not consider us as one with them. Instead, they would think of us those people who could have everything at a snap of our fingers. Thanks be to God that He did not give us these resources. Instead, we have the resources to be their friend and family in their struggles. They just wanted to be in a place where they could feel like valued people. God has given us the resource for this. This is the gospel where God becomes One with Us. St Paul tells us that we should follow in the footsteps of this God and Savior.

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The Problem of A Clean House

“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first.”-Luke 11:24-26

Her father would drink all evening. Arriving home, he was violent with everyone beginning with her mother. No one was spared the abuse. Understandably, she grew to despise him. The first chance she had, she ran away to the streets. She was determined to make the streets her home. Consequently, she became one of the toughest girls in the streets. She would still occasionally return to her house to visit her siblings and mother whom she loved dearly. She was willing to put up with her father’s abuse just to spend a few days with them. On one of her short stays at home, her father came home unexpectedly early in the evening. He looked different. He was sober. He shared with the family an astounding news; he had accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior. He promised to stop drinking and start attending church on a regular basis. The family was naturally skeptical. They had only known this man as a violent drunk. It was hard for them to imagine anything different. She decided to stay home just to see if her father was able to keep his promise. She was amazed that her father was able to overcome his alcoholism from one day to another. He replaced the bar with the church. He went there on almost on a daily basis. Within a short period, he was already sharing his testimony and given leadership roles. Everyone in the family went along to support him. She was telling me this story while she was in the streets. Anticipating a tragic end, I asked whether her father went back to drinking? She replied that he never touched a drink after his conversion and this was few years ago. However, she said that this was the only change. He continued to be violent and domineering. Since his conversion, he spent more time at home and home life for the rest of the family became intolerable. To a certain extent, it was worse than before. Instead of being drunk, her father became self-righteous and used the Bible as a justification for all his manipulative behavior. Finally, she could not stand her father’s religious diatribes and abusive ways and she left for good. She broke all contact with her family. I had this conversation twenty years ago. I never forgot any detail. It made me question the kind of the gospel that was being preached.

Many times I have heard testimonies about people who were involved in addictions and substance abuse and how they changed their lives around after they found God. These testimonies are often greeted with applause and sometimes they have even brought us to tears. I am sure that this girl’s father was one of these who has shared his testimony. These stories of overcoming addictions and self-destructive habits can be inspiring and encouraging but they are not to be confused with the power of the gospel. There is nothing wrong with testimonies in themselves. However, what we consider to be testimony-worthy may not necessarily reflect the true message of the gospel. Our testimonies should testify to the power of the gospel and not mere house cleaning stories. As pointed out by Jesus in the above parable, this is not the gospel. We don’t really need the gospel to clean our house. Therapy, meditation, joining a social movement, being part of a support group … The options are almost infinite; all of these things can help us to clean our house. They just clean up for something else to occupy the space. It could be something better or worse but Jesus seems to say that it is always something worse.

“For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”-Matthew 5:20

The Pharisees in the first century were into “clean houses”. They ensured that they were above reproach in their behavior and observance of the Law. They were not necessarily hypocritical. They genuinely desired to please God with their lives. Their spirituality was at odds with the message of Jesus because He claimed that what they did was not enough. Jesus used harsh words to describe this type of spirituality. He said that it prepared their souls to be possessed by worse and more dangerous demons.

Religion has been under scrutiny and attack these days. Religious people have shown that they have the capability to do dangerous harm with their words and actions. We cannot hide from these attacks. We have to be honest enough to accept that these attacks have some grounds. It is not just the terrorist attacks. In São Paulo, church leaders have been using the pulpit to promote their selfish ambitions and it has brought much disgust to the public. People have become skeptical about religion in general and more specifically the church. The arguments against religion are still quite infantile and biased. This does not mean that serious Christians should ignore them. We need to look beyond the arguments and see that there is a great shortcoming present. Saying “Christianity is not a religion but a relationship” is not an option or an argument. It is avoiding the question. People outside look at the church as a religion. If it is different, then they need to see the difference in those who follow Christ. Unfortunately, most Christians are satisfied with “clean house” gospel. This is the other gospel and, in reality, it is just Pharisaical religion disguised as the message of Jesus. Jesus came to preach a spirituality that would be superior to that of the Pharisees.

Strangely the parable quoted at the beginning of this post is one of the most commonly cited verses among the children and teens. Whenever they hear this, it resonates with them. Where most of the poor live, there are an abundance of churches. They have relatives who can cite biblical verses one minute and then say hateful things the next. They have seen gangsters go to church and pray and then turn around and attack a rival gang member mercilessly. They have seen the policemen in their communities preach in their churches and then accept bribes and humiliate their brothers and sisters for just walking in the street in the evening. They are inundated with the religion of the Pharisees. It is a religion of words and outward appearances and uses the tools of this corrupt world. It does not matter where we live, whether in the slums of São Paulo where most of children and teens come from or the middle class neighborhoods of our respective nations. This religion of the Pharisees is present. It doesn’t matter what religion we follow; we can be Buddhist, Muslim, Christian or Hindu, hiding behind a spirituality of words and appearances and still living within the values of the corrupt world.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”-Roman 8:5

The gospel of Jesus is about ushering in the New Creation. It is living our lives based on radically new values that are incompatible with the world’s values. We have had our fair share of tragic and violent events this year. There is always an ethical argument that follows immediately after these occurrences. Christians appear to use arguments grounded on values of this world to debate against each other. They openly embrace the principles of this world to solve the problems. This is fine if they are not people who are living their lives according to the Spirit. However, if anyone who embraces violence and hatred as a response to violence in the world, then they need to question themselves in the light of scripture. I have heard people say that we need to live in reality as well. Unfortunately this type of attitude puts in question whether people who claim to be Christian understand the gospel. The gospel faces reality in its raw and brutal form. It provides us with an answer but it may not be an answer that we like to hear.

As Christians, we need to go back to the Cross for the answer. It is our key to face the unjust brutality of this world. The silence of Jesus at his trial is a powerful weapon for us as Christians. Jesus did not passively submit to the will of the tyrants and tormentors of this world. He actively opposed them with His silence. He did not succumb to their ways and methods. He did not resort to using their tools to fight against them. He ushered a new era where the Kingdom of God will establish itself and all the corrupt ways of the world cannot deter it. The Pharisees and Roman leaders are long gone and forgotten. The Silent Christ reigns in the hearts and minds of all those who seek His face.

People want to reduce religion in all its forms to house cleaning. People are uncomfortable with the presence of children and adults living in the streets because it fills their lives with unnecessary visual inconvenience. They want to clean it up by moving them out of the streets and placing them in shelter hidden from sight. We hear news about people killing people senselessly. We want to clean it up with violence. We will only be making room for something worse and more destructive. Jesus is not into house cleaning. He is building a new house. Its foundations are stated clearly by one of his followers who understood this best.

And the fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law- Galatians 5:22-23

These are not concrete answers to problems that we are facing in this world. They are attitudes that we need to embrace to understand how to live according to the Spirit in this world. When the demon comes back to a house and finds it to be restructured and occupied with values and principles that are incompatible with its own, he will have no choice but to remain in the wilderness.

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Being Available

And it came to pass, in their going on, that he entered into a certain village, and a certain woman, by name Martha, did receive him into her house,
and she had also a sister, called Mary, who also, having seated herself beside the feet of Jesus, was hearing the word.- Luke 10:38-39

It has been a while since we saw Igor. An unexpected knock on our door on a Sunday afternoon and he was standing outside smiling. Looking different. Looking very much like a normal twenty year old. Teens living in the streets tend to have a style of their own; the same haircut, similar clothes, a distinctive way of standing, walking and speaking. All these characteristic were absent in the person outside. He wore a dress shirt and he was clean cut and well-groomed. He looked like an average person and this was excellent. He came in and hugged us.

It had taken him almost two hours to get to our place. He lives on the outskirts while we are in the old center. He is staying in a halfway house for drug addicts run by a Pentecostal church. He is not interned there. The church has offered a temporary place for him until he is ready to find a place of his own. He worked briefly restoring furniture in a used furniture store. Igor was the last one employed and when they downsized, he was the first to go. Thankfully, he wasn’t discouraged. He believes that something better will come along. For now, he helps out where ever he can in the halfway house.

Life is the halfway house is very structured. Every one follows a strict schedule including Igor. It is helping him to have the structure that he never had in his life in the streets. He changed the way he dresses and looks; he felt it necessary to leave behind everything that he learned in the streets except for the things that inspire him to become better. I suppose that we are one of the things- well if that wasn’t true, he wouldn’t have spent two hours on the bus to visit us.

Igor was able to stay a year away from the street life. For most of us, a year is not a long time. However, for children and teens who could not bear to be in a new environment for more than hour, one year is quite a significant period. He still feels a strong attachment to his friends. This is understandable. They were the closest thing to a family that he had. He visits them whenever he can. He wants them to know that there is life beyond homelessness. This is a beautiful thing. I asked him if he ever felt tempted to return to the streets, after all, it was his comfort zone. He told us that he never felt comfortable in the streets but it was the only option for him then. Now, he has options.

Igor’s conversation with us was peppered with religious jargon. There is nothing with wrong this. He knows that we are religious and he wants us to know that he is learning this new vocabulary to communicate with us. He is figuring out with each new social group that he encounters he needs to learn how to communicate in a new way. He does not use these words to hide behind them. The words express his genuine feelings and experiences. For us, it was strange to hear them coming out from his mouth. We were used to the old Igor but this new person was beaming with hope and life. He came to share a special event that took place in his life. He was just recently baptized. He said that it was a decision that he pondered seriously. He did not want to be one of those people who find religion and then go back to their old way of living. He wanted to make a life-changing decision. It is evident that this was a genuine one. We cannot but rejoice with him.

I asked Igor what made him make this bold step of leaving everything behind in the streets. Throughout his time in the streets, there have been many religious and social workers who have worked with him. He told us that these people were also present but it was very rare that someone would actually listen to him and help him express his own thoughts and understandings. It was only recently that he met people who took him seriously and allowed him to open up to them. In a simple way, Igor put some flesh and blood to the concept of ministry of presence. It is not just being there but it is being available to the person whom we serve allowing them to open up to us. There are people who want to help but only a few are available to those whom they serve.

Martha and Mary in the text above invited Jesus to their home but only one made herself available to Jesus. The former was busy trying to make sure everything was perfect for Jesus. She didn’t even ask him what he wanted. She assumed that she knew. Mary did absolutely nothing; she just sat and listened. She waited for Jesus to let her know what He desired.

Another incident from some years ago is permanently imprinted in my mind. It was nothing dramatic, just a simple conversation between my friend and an homeless adult in the streets of Montreal. I was doing my final year of seminary then. It was scene that would be common in any big city. We were on our way to a coffee shop when a homeless man sitting on the pavement asked us for some change. Our friend heard him first and turned to him and told him kindly that we were sorry but we didn’t usually give money. My friend then introduced himself and us to this man. He told the man that we would love to sit and chat with him whenever we see him. He assured the man that we would be happy to give him our time freely. I can’t remember the name of this homeless person but never will forget what he said afterwards. He told my friend that he gave him something that was worth much more than anything money could buy. He thanked us for treating him like a human being. The attitude of my friend is an attitude of a person who is available. Today he is a Lutheran pastor of a small church and he continues to avail himself to people of all sorts and conditions. My friend is an ordinary person and he did something very simple and ordinary and made an impact in my life. Mary was an ordinary young woman and we are still reading about her after two thousand years. On the other hand, we shouldn’t think of Martha as a negative example. She was a good person and her intentions to serve were genuine. People like Martha do not have a messiah complex. They are sincere people who want to make this world a better place. I think that it is cruel to degrade people like her. Jesus did not do it. He just showed us a more perfect way.

Being available is not just listening. I have known people who are good listeners but they were not available. Being available means that we genuinely believe that the person to whom we are listening to has something to offer to us. It does not mean that we pretend that the vacuous things that people say are truly profound. Such an attitude in itself is condescending. We have to genuinely believe that people have something to offer even if they appear to be superficial. This is where being a Christian makes a big difference. A Christian believes in the active presence of the Holy Spirit. He or she believes in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on all peoples as narrated in the Acts of the Apostles. Then, we must also necessarily believe that the Holy Spirit is present and working in the lives of all people. All peoples, even those who reject God; a hardened atheist has the presence of the Holy Spirit working in him or her. Many times people do not recognize this presence. They might be wrestling the Spirit the way Jacob wrestled with Him (Genesis 32:22-32) and they may not recognize it. They might never find out the true nature of their inner struggles unless they can have the opportunity to share this with someone. People will not often reveal these struggles or questions or insights if they are not sure if the person is truly open to them. When we decide to be available to people, we are not adopting a posture or an attitude but we are engaging in a spiritual discipline. It is a kind of prayer when we ask the Holy Spirit to open the heart of the person to share his or her depth with us. It is something requiring faith on our part; Faith that believes that the Holy Spirit is truly alive and active in our midst.

It is not easy to be Martha in this world. It takes time and energy. However, it is even harder to be a Mary. It means putting aside our prejudices and preconceived notions to listen and believe that the people whom we serve can actually help us to understand God even better. Igor met people who were available to him. They helped him understand his struggles and doubts. They helped him understand that his growing discomfort of the street life was the prompting of the Holy Spirit to move on and seek something better. We hope that we were some of these people who were available to him. The fact that he travelled two hours to see us as a good sign that he considers as such. On our part, I can safely say that we are receiving something from him. Igor did enrich our lives. When we saw him sitting in our living room sharing about the new things in his life, we felt privileged to have a small part in his life. We cannot take credit for the things that are happening in his life. We did not find a place for him to live. We did not get him a job. We did nothing for him in this sense and yet he thought that it was important for us to know all these good things that are happening in his life.

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Liturgical Expressions

And it came to pass, in his being in a certain place praying, as he ceased, a certain one of his disciples said unto him, `Sir, teach us to pray, as also John taught his disciples.’- Luke 11:1

The train was chugging along slowly. It was just the right speed for Bruno and Felipe to climb aboard into one of the empty wagons. Felipe had done this several times. Bruno was still a novice. He is not one to make frequent trips to the beaches like the other children and teens. Once he got there, he realized why he never liked the beach. The children go to one of the most polluted beaches in the coast of São Paulo. There is nothing attractive there. I think that the excitement of going to the beach was actually better than the place itself. A major part of the journey to and fro was in cargo trains. Felipe and Bruno were on their way back to the city.

All the wagons looked the same to Bruno, but they were different. Some wagons were reserved for sacks of sugar and they had an entrance on the side which was fairly easy to open. Others were cylinder shaped and had an entrance on the top. Only Filipe knew which was which. They were running along side and it was raining heavily. This slowed down Felipe a little and Bruno managed to jump onto the train first. He held on to the bottom of the ladder at the side of a wagon. He held out his hand to Felipe but before he could grab onto it the train picked up the speed. It happened so fast that Bruno nearly fell and he had to use both hands to hold securely to the train. His friend could not keep up anymore and eventually gave up. The heavy raindrops were beating on his face mercilessly and everything was wet and slippery. Bruno couldn’t see anything clearly. He quickly climbed up the ladder and found himself on top of the wagon. He just wanted to get to a safe and dry place. He saw the entrance lid and with much effort he opened it. It was dark below and he can’t really remember how but the next thing he knew was that he was at the bottom of the wagon. As he landed on the floor, he cut his chin. The pain and shock caused him to faint.

He woke up after what felt like a few hours and realized what had happened. He searched for a door or exit in the dark wagon but there was only the one above him. There was no ladder. He felt something like seeds on the floor and he picked them up and realized that they were dried corn kernels. He knew what was going to happen. He had seen it before. The opening on the top was where they would funnel the corn into the wagon and fill it to the brim. He remembered hearing about some children being buried alive under corn and now he was facing a similar fate. The prospect of a painful death made him feel desperate and lost. He has had a tough life but he still enjoyed his life. He did not want to die and especially alone and forgotten in the wagon. The train made several stops and each time Bruno frantically banged and kicked on the walls hoping someone would hear on the other side but no one did. His only hope was prayer. He prayed and prayed for a miracle. However, at each stop nothing happened. He had some water with him. He took a sip each time and tried to conserve as much he could. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to stuck in the wagon.

After spending days in the train, he heard a noise from below him at one of the stops. He heard some voices and then a bright light coming out from the floor. There was another opening which could only be accessed from the outside. The voices belonged to people who were stealing the residual corn on the bottom of the wagon. Bruno yelled at them to help him but the people ran away thinking that it was the police or maybe even a ghost. Bruno crawled out of the tiny opening and yelled at the people to stop running. Finally an older woman came back to help him. Bruno hugged her and told her that she was an answer to his prayers. The woman took him to her home and fed him and took care of him for a few days. He was in another city far away from São Paulo. It took him a whole month to return the city.

Bruno just recently acquired a new notebook. For most of children, a notebook is not something they would treasure but Bruno is different. He is a learner. He notes down everything he learns and most of it is in English. He is highly motivated to learn English. Everyday he is asking us to explain certain English phrases that he was heard from songs or movies. His old notebook was torn and tattered from much use. Someone gave him a new notebook and he wanted to show it us. In the first page, he wrote down a simple prayer: ”Thank you, God, for giving one more day to live and enjoy Life.” He told us that everyday when he wakes up he says this simple prayer. He had told us the story of his close brush with death a couple of days prior. We know that this prayer that he wrote is not just something that came out of conventional wisdom but it was something that came from his own personal experience. Bruno is truly grateful for his life.

Many people would look at Bruno’s life and his clothes and the places where he sleeps and think that it is not much of a life. I have heard people say that it would have been much better if these children had not been born at all then for them to suffer such a fate. However, Bruno wanted so desperately to live when he was faced with the prospect of death. He did not just want to live but he enjoys his life. His prayer of gratitude comes from his own life experience. Many go through life without a thought of gratitude for their lives. They might have some complaints and frustrations about things they have or do not possess but Bruno is filled with gratitude just to be alive. However, this does not mean that his life is wonderful. It is not wonderful and he might be happy but it is still not enough. Maybe this sounds judgmental on my part. I don’t believe that Bruno should have the kind of life that I lead. I think that Bruno knows that there is more to life than what he has known so far. He has formulated a prayer to give thanks for what he understands now about his life. It is a good prayer. However, it is just a start.

Everyday we start our work with a simple prayer. We never wrote it down but it is the same everyday almost word for word. It has become our own liturgical prayer that came out of our life experiences in the streets. It summed up what we sense God is calling us to do. We ask God to give us an opportunity to share His love with one child and teach us to discern His presence in this child’s life. Without fail, we get to spend time with at least one boy or girl who tends to show us the presence of the living God in our midst. For the past few weeks, this boy has been Bruno. He shared his story with us on one of these occasions. I believe that both our prayers have brought us together: Bruno’s recognition of the gift of his life and our desire to discover the immensity of God’s love through our interaction with the children. However, there is one prayer that is the foundation of all our actions. It is the prayer that came out of Jesus’ life experience.

The disciples understood that prayers are not just words spoken spontaneously but liturgical expressions based on life experiences. Jesus prayed the same prayer daily because it reflected everything He understood about life. Bruno says the same prayer daily because of the experiences that he has had. We say the same prayers because of our experiences in the streets. However, our prayers are not just about our experiences but they are about our encounter with God. The disciples saw that Jesus had a deeper and more profound understanding of God. They wanted to learn the way Jesus prayed so that they could experience God in the way He knew the Father. They wanted to make his prayer their very own and Jesus offered it to them.

Prayer shapes the way we understand our reality. Bruno never really considered the wonder and beauty of life until the moment he was stuck in the wagon. Being saved from this incident made him realize that life is a gift. Perhaps it is this realization that draws him to people who would help him discover its beauty. When Bruno shared his prayer wth us, he invited us to participate in this journey with him. When Jesus shared his prayer with us, He did the same. Prayers are not mere words but they are religious expressions of life experiences. In a way, Bruno has helped me discover a different way at looking at prayer especially the Lord’s prayer. It is not a religious formula but it is an invitation to discover the wealth and depth of this gift that is called Life.

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Living Faith

‘Whoever may receive this child in my name, doth receive me, and whoever may receive me, doth receive Him who sent me, for he who is least among you all — he shall be great.’-Luke 9:48

The subject of discussion among Jesus’ disciples was greatness. It is an universal subject. From the time of our birth, our parents aspire greatness for us. It would be sad if they didn’t. Young parents dream of greatness for their children. They always tend to think that their children are extremely intelligent even though the rest of the world might have a different opinion on the subject. Parent use bumper stickers boasting that their child is a honor student and there seems to be an abundance of honor students recently. The average student must be a minority. In a month’s time, we will watch the Olympic games and we will remember the Gold Medalists who will be hailed as heroes and role models. The ones that win the silver and bronze medals don’t really get the same attention. Only number one counts.

Our children living in the streets share the same aspirations. Maybe they don’t desire to be a gold medalist or a genius but they want to be successful enough to escape the stigma of extreme poverty. They see the approval in people’s eyes when someone drives by in a fancy car. They can see people treated differently when their clothes and appearance bears the markings of financial success. They see wealth as a sign of greatness because it has the power to get them out of poverty.

The desire for greatness is something inherent in humans. We may have different ways of defining greatness but the desire is universal. Perhaps it is something linked with the consciousness of our mortality and finitude. People who have achieved great things are remembered. Perhaps our desire to be great is a desire to be remembered even after we are gone.

Whenever I read the above verse, I always think about my friend, Victor. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us. He died tragically in a motorcycle accident about fifteen years ago. I met him while I served in the military in Singapore. He came from a troubled background. In his early teens, he was arrested for being involved in street brawl with a rival gang. He was put on probation for two years. As part of his probation program he was required to do some volunteer work and was sent to a group home for adults with severe Down syndrome. Living most of my life in large cities, I have had the privilege of knowing people with Down Syndrome and usually the ones I know are very independent. However, this wasn’t the case of the adults in the group home where Victor volunteered. Their state was so severe that they could not perform the basic bodily functions without assistance. Victor spent his weekends with these young people. After his probation, he continued working there and he was there every Saturday until the day he died. This work became the highlight of his week. He invited me to visit this home with him one Saturday. He wanted me to meet his friends. I can clearly remember my first impression. I felt overwhelmed by these young people’s disabilities. Many of them could hardly speak. They tried to say something to me but I could not understand a single word. Victor, on the other hand, understood these gentle people perfectly. He proudly introduced each one of them to me. He cherished each one because they saved his life and he is forever indebted to them. Victor received these little ones and his life was transformed. Victor was not a Christian but he was always curious about the gospels. He read them several times over and we often had deep and enriching conversations about Jesus together. All I can say is that Victor loved Jesus but he died a Buddhist.

Jesus said that in order to be great in the Kingdom of God, we need to receive a child in his name. Receiving is not to be confused with tolerating. We can tolerate the presence of children but we may not receive them. We can extend this to the presence of the homeless in our congregation or women in leadership and the list could go on and on. We can tolerate all these people but it does not mean that we receive them. We can only receive from someone when we believe that they have something valuable to contribute. Jesus is saying something radical then and today. Almost all books on leadership will tell us that in order to be successful, we need to surround ourselves with successful people so that we can receive their inspiration and aptitude for success. The underlying meaning is that we need to distance ourselves from the not so successful people. Jesus tells us to receive children who have yet to prove themselves in the world. The significance of this could only mean that the Kingdom of God doesn’t gauge success and failure according to the standards of the world but according to the understanding of who Jesus is.

Children understand their faith in a different way than adults. There is nothing remarkable about this observation. The problem is that most of the time we only appreciate the way adults understand faith. As adults, we have a tendency to reduce faith into something theoretical. We tend to reduce faith into something doctrinal or membership in a church. We reduce theology as something reserved for the experts or leisure reading and discussions. We are satisfied with limiting our faith to ritualistic practices. Whereas children are constantly trying to figure how their faith fits into the world they live. They are truly theologians in this sense. If we read classical theologians, they will see that they deal with questions that children commonly ask. Maybe we don’t realize this or pay attention to this. Maybe this is because we don’t receive children. We don’t realize that their questions about God, even though they might seem absurd and frustrating, come from a dialogue that they are having with their faith and the reality in which they find themselves. Adults tend to settle for simplistic answers but children keep questioning and questioning until an adult forces them to accept simplistic answers. However, when we receive their questions with seriousness, we will discover that they have something valuable to contribute to us. They can help us to remember that living faith is a dialogue with our reality. Adults think that children must be entertained in church so that church would be fun. This is perhaps harsh statement but I will leave it here. It is something for us to ponder because it is detrimental to their faith if their religious experience is reduced to fun. There is room for play but it should only serve to help the children be comfortable enough to ask questions about faith.

None of our children in the streets are atheists. They have had hard lives but we never heard anyone of them blame God. It is because they are a living faith in God. They did not settle for simplistic solutions. They don’t think that they are in the center of God’s universe. They are still trying to figure out where their place is in this universe. However, they need to find someone who is willing to just listen to them. They will stop asking questions when there is no one that listens to them. When we listen to these children, they help us get in touch with an aspect of our faith which was dormant for some time. About twenty years ago a young boy told me that God was His everything. I did not take him seriously. I thought that he had just repeated what he had heard from other adults. Maybe he did, but I will never know. Now I know better. I will listen the next time this happens. My friend, Victor, discovered in the young adults with whom he worked the joy of living. He received them. He listened to them. God opened his eyes to see that their severe disability did not hinder them from knowing their place in this universe. They loved their lives and Victor learned to treasure his own through them. Mary and I are learning to receive these children and they are teaching us to see the beauty of this life. We need our children as much as they need us to understand how our God works in our life. We need to receive children to save ourselves from reducing the gospel into a set of doctrines and rituals. The children need us to help them formulate the questions they have about their place in the wonderful existence that God has given us.

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Intimate Silence

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)

It takes a while to get accustomed to noise and São Paulo is a noisy city. Where we live, there is never hiatus from the hustle and bustle of downtown city life. There are always cars honking, loud engines of buses and trucks, the police sirens followed by the blaring ambulances, and not to forget the endless supply of drunk people who think that they have wonderful singing voices. We live on the first floor and there is a stop light just outside our window. Every time there is a red light we are tormented by the music that blares out of the cars. Sometimes people park their cars below our apartment building and blast their favorite music from the car stereos. It almost never the kind of music that I enjoy and most frequently the kind that I detest; such is life. This is a noisy city. It is a typical city. There is never moment of silence.

The children sleep under a highway bridge now. They were kicked out of the square when they had been sleeping for the past three months. They are back under the noisy bridge. It is dark and dirty. Rats and cockroaches are their companions. The highway is always busy day and night. It is a dangerous place for a pedestrian to cross and it is not uncommon for our children to get hit by cars while crossing. The noise is unbearable but they claim that they are accustomed to it. I am not sure if it is possible. Maybe it has become comforting to them.

I have been to the home of a family that lived in extreme poverty but they had a TV and a radio. I don’t believe these were purchased. Someone gave these to them. People tend to be very generous with the non-essentials of life. When we visited them, they had both the TV and the radio on at full volume and yet no one was watching or listening. When we sat down to talk, they did not even want to lower down the volume. Finally, I asked them to turn it off so that we could talk. Then the silence invaded our space as aggressively as the noise. It was quite intimidating. We sat there and faced each other in the uncomfortable silence. It confronted the true nature of our relationship with this family. It was not one that was comfortable to be with each other in the silence. I did not realize this until the noise was gone.

Our time with the children can be uncomfortable sometimes. There are times when they just don’t know what to say to us. They just sit with us in silence. Most of the time, we, the adults, fill this empty space with questions. They are always the same questions. Where do you live? What do your parents do? How long have you been in the streets? Don’t you miss your family? etc. At one point, we convinced ourselves that these questions are essential in building our relationship with them. In reality, most of the children and teens with whom we have a strong relationship have never said anything about their past. Most of my good friends here do not know anything about my life in Singapore and yet this lack of information does hinder us from having a good relationship. Knowing something about someone’s past is just information. We think getting information is the same as knowing someone. It is just like thinking that living in a noisy house is living in a happy home. It is just noisy and nothing more. We ask questions to avoid the awkward silence. We are afraid of it as well. It makes feel inadequate. It makes us confront our true selves. We prefer noise. Noise helps us avoid the real issues about ourselves.

We decided to sit near the children and color in silence. I told the team that we are not going to ask questions anymore. We don’t have to interrogate anyone about their past. It is not natural. Friends don’t bombard each other with questions that probe into their past. Friends recognize the privacy of one’s personal life. We are not psychiatrists nor social workers. We don’t need to know about their past unless they want to share it with us. We have a different reason for being here. We want them to know and recognize the presence of God in their souls and around them. Our God speaks to us out of the silence. Therefore, we sat and waited in silence. As we did this, we communed with God in the innermost part of our being. We faced ourselves in the presence of God within us. It was not easy but it was not hard as well. It was different. Then Alan came and sat next to us. He was quiet and just watched us coloring. After a few minutes or so, he asked if I was choosing a certain color for the background. I told him that I wasn’t sure and then he asked how I decided on the colors. There was no answer to this question. I said that I did not know. It was fine not to know until the time comes. He understood and sat there and watched. Alan doesn’t usually speak to us. Today, he wanted to be just there and watch. He felt comfortable to sit and there and watch us. He was silent and we were silent. We were comfortable. We felt peaceful and then some of children came over and joined us and colored together in silence. It felt nice not to feel that we have to say something. It was nice to be there in the silence with each other and feel complete together even if it was for a moment.

I won’t say that words are not necessary. On the contrary, I would say that words are a gift. However, noises or empty words should not be confused with words that come forth from the silence. It is out of the silence that God spoke the life-giving words, “Let there be Light”. Then He gave us the gift of Sabbath which is a time of silent waiting to listen to the words of Life that comes from the Eternal Light that dwells in our souls.

São Paulo is a noisy city. God is teaching us to find a quiet place in the midst of this noise.

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Inspired to Learn

Give to the wise, and he is wiser still, Make known to the righteous, And he increaseth learning.-Proverbs 9:9

The three were of the same age. I did not notice this before for some reason. I had shown them a brochure about an upcoming movie festival with a free screening of classic and modern Italian directors. Lucas was interested. He is in his third year in Psychology and some of the movies being screened were discussed in his class. Victor, on the hand, never heard of any the directors or the movies. He has been focusing on seminary studies until recently taking a break from studies to decide what he wants to do. Bruno was the only one among the three who had watched some of the movies in the list. He also knew most of the directors and their works. Among them was the famous “The Bicycle Thief” by the director, Vittorio de Sica. I have never seen the movie but Bruno has. He did not like it. I asked why and he said that there was too much hype about the movie which it did not live up to. I know the story because it is a movie all movie buffs like to talk about. Frankly speaking, I never found it interesting enough to watch. Bruno related the basic plot-line to Lucas and Victor who have never even heard of this movie. It was strange to see all three of them standing next to each other discussing movies. They were the same age but all three from different social classes. Lucas comes from an upper middle class family. Victor’s family is also middle class and Bruno lives in the streets. All three have the desire to learn. Only two have family and friends to inspire and motivate them to pursue their desires. Bruno has been in the streets since he was sixteen. He has no contact with his family and he never talks about them. He is on his own when it comes to self-improvement. No family is going to stand behind in his pursuits. Yet, all these disadvantages have not stifled his desire to learn.

Bruno is always dressed the same. I mean this literally. He has been using his same polo shirt for a few months and it is torn and tattered. It is covered with so much dirt that we cannot recognize its original color. His hands and feet are covered with dirt. He carries an equally filthy blanket with him all the time. I gave him one of my polo shirts which he accepted gleefully. However, he never used it. He kept it in his bag pack which he is never seen without. In it, he keeps perhaps his most precious possession; an old tattered note book. It contains the names of all the movies he has seen or would like to see. The movies are mostly American and their names have been translated into Portuguese. However, Bruno wants to know their original names in English. He makes Mary translate the names back into English. It seems like he invented this method for learning English and we are impressed how far he has come. It is safe to say that Bruno is by far the most intelligent homeless young adult we have met. No one would guess it by looking at him. Most people would just see a homeless young man. However, when you spend some time with him, you will discover an extremely intelligent and interesting young man.

He is able to speak intelligently about movies and politics. He formulates his ideas in a logical manner and his vocabulary is very impressive. We are always amazed about the things he knows. He can tell us about Virginia Woolf and the books she has written. He likes to watch movies that most twenty year olds would find uninteresting. One of his favorite movies is Sophie’s Choice and he explained in detail the story to me. Lucas and Victor stood there and just listened. They too were astounded by his impressive knowledge. It is not just limited to movies. He could also explain the present political situation lucidly. He also able to see beyond the rhetoric and identify political maneuvers of partisan politics. When we asked him where he got his information, he told us that he reads different newspapers that are discarded at the local stores. In this way, he has access to several different news agencies.

Bruno sniffs paint thinner more than the other children or teens. He uses about half a liter a day according to him and we believe it. The only time he says that he doesn’t use it is when he is watching a movie or when he is with us. I guess the movie is a form of escape which takes away the need for chemical substance. It has been recently that he stopped sniffing in our presence. I used to have a hard time trying to get him to stop while doing an activity and he would just leave our group instead. He used to prefer paint thinner over our company. Thankfully, things have changed. We enjoy talking with him now and he always has a big smile for us whenever he sees us. The smile is always followed by a question about something he read or heard.

Bruno has never asked anything from us. Even when he was hurt, he did not ask Mary to do first aid. However, recently he asked if we could buy him a English-Portuguese dictionary. I had an old one in the house and I gave it to him. He received it happily and hugged us. This is unusual for him. We think that his filthy attire is a defense mechanism to avoid physical contact. Therefore, the embrace coming from him was a little bit more special.

Bruno is often seen with Ruan and Felipe. About a week ago, Ruan asked us if he could teach him to read and write. We were a little surprised. We had not realized that Ruan was illiterate. When I read the letter from a person in Florida, I translated it for him. Then when I asked him whether he wanted to write to this person one day, he nodded without saying anything. I remembered that his face lit up when I said that I would help him. However, I did not realize then that he did know how to read or write. Ruan comes from one of the worst neighborhoods in the center. I can’t say much about the schools in the area because I don’t know them. It would be unfair to judge the whole school based on Ruan. We know that he went to school for a few years before running away to the streets. Now he wants to learn to read and write but sending him back to the school is not going to help him. We told him that we will try to find a place where there is literacy program. He said that he was willing to start right away. Bruno was sitting next to him throughout this conversation. He said that Ruan has been asking him to teach him. Bruno does not feel confident to get him started.

Not too long after, Felipe asked us if we could help him with his writing. He said that he was not confident in writing and wanted to practice. It was the first time Felipe asked anything of this sort. All this happened in a short period of time. Suddenly three of our homeless teens are inspired to learn and study. I saw Felipe watching Mary one day as she was writing some notes for some of the children. They remarked that she had beautiful handwriting. Ruan received a letter from someone in Florida. Perhaps the idea of writing to someone contributed to this desire to learn. He also observes how much pleasure Bruno has whenever he shares the things he learns with us and is able to ask intelligently about things he does not know. All these things could have contributed to this newfound interest in learning. They have discovered a context in which learning is useful. If we told them that education would guarantee a better future, they would agree with us but they would most likely do nothing about it. They don’t think about their future much. They are not convinced that education is going guarantee a good future. However, they care about relationship. They see that our relationship with Bruno is growing because there is a deeper exchange between us and Bruno. They want to move beyond playing games and coloring books. Perhaps Bruno has shown that learning can enhance a relationship and make it richer. I believe that they are becoming more interested in learning because they want to be connected in a deeper way with us and the other people with whom they come into contact. Unfortunately, schools have reduced education into something utilitarian. Whereas Bruno wants to learn for the sole purpose of discovering new and wonderful things so that he could share them with those whom he cares for and loves. Ruan and Felipe saw this and now they desire to discover the joy of learning for the sake of learning.

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