Luke 15:3-7

Jesus spoke this parable to them, saying: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.”

We went to the streets as missionaries today for the first time after thirteen years. Before we left the mission house, we were warned that sometimes the children are hard to find. They move around the red light district in search of money and drugs. Drugs have become a big problem. Children are constantly using some form of drugs whether it is paint thinner or crack cocaine. Having a decent conversation with the children has been difficult. The missionaries also told us that the younger children were becoming more aggressive. They were preparing us for the worst. With this in mind, we set out to the streets.

We walked about two miles looking for the children and we did not find any. Throughout this time I was thinking about the parable of the lost sheep. Many times I have focused on the finding of the lost sheep but never realized that the search is quite tiresome. God’s grace is seen in His persistence to search for us even when we do not want to be found. These children do not want to be found by us. It is mainly because they are afraid and they found a way to run away from their fears through drugs.

I must admit that I was a little concerned that we wouldn’t find any children today. It is not that they are not here. There are about a thousand of them in the red light district but it is not always easy to find them. Finally we decided to stop and wait at a location where they usually hang out. Then a group of six boys appeared ranging from the ages of 10 to 17. They were high on paint thinner and the younger ones had acquired marijuana. They were very excited about this and not in the least bit interested in us. We decided to just stay there and invited them to join us for some games. Only one responded. His name is Jessé. He is about 11 years old.

We played a game of dominos and Jesse was high on thinner but he was able to play one game with us. We have strict rules that they cannot sniff or use drugs when they are with us. After the first game, Jessé decided that drugs was more fun than playing games with us. This happens. It does not change the fact that we had a good initial contact with him. Then within a few minutes, about twenty children and teenagers appeared. Most of them were older teens and they were not intoxicated. They slowly approached us and began to engage with us. There was one young particular boy named João who wanted to play a game with us. He was sniffing paint thinner but decided to put it away so that he could be with us. He was a very sweet and open young man. He was curious about us and asked lots of questions which gave us an opening to ask about him. He told us that his father had passed away before he left for the streets and his mother lives in the poorer part of São Paulo. When Mary asked him if he missed his mother, he simply responded that his mother knows where he is and she wanted to see him she would come. We were told that João is one of the children that has been in the street the longest. He is fifteen years old which is hard to believe. He looks like he is ten. He is one of the few teens who does not engage in any crime. He was determined not to spend any time in prison. We don’t know his story but we are patient for him to share his story when he feels more comfortable. For now, he enjoys playing dominos with us.

We met another young woman, Ana Paula. She is what people would call a hardened street girl. She controls some of the drug trade and looks tough. I noticed that there two little Chinese children in the streets with their mother. No one knows the story behind this woman but she was obviously an immigrant. Ever since we got there, I saw Ana Paula acting and speaking aggressively to the other children and teenagers, then I saw her go off to the side to talk to this Chinese woman. She asked about the children and their names and she was tender and kind towards this woman who seemed to be a little lost. The missionaries told us that a couple of weeks ago, Ana Paula had expressed that she wanted a better life for herself. However, she has given up on the idea for now.

A lost sheep is a frightened sheep. We have to approach those who are lost with patience and tenderness. The Good Shepherd is a patient shepherd. He seeks and waits for his lost sheep to entrust their lives to Him. It takes time for the lost sheep to trust the Shepherd. It takes patience and understanding. These lost sheep have taken refuge in drugs and violence but they still long to be in the arms of the Good Shepherd where they can find their true refuge.

Before we left the streets, João asked me how long we are going to stay here. I told him that we are here for good. He smiled.

Many things have happened since my last entry. We got our missionary visa. This started a chain of events. We bought our plane tickets on the very same day.  We frantically stuffed all our worldly possessions into four bags. Suddenly we realized that there was a lot of things to do before we left. We were exhausted by the time we got onto the plane for São Paulo. We arrived here early Wednesday and were warmly received by two missionaries. It took us a while to get our temporary lodgings due to the heavy traffic. However, we did not mind it. This is our home now. We have been praying to be here for months and it has been in our minds to return to São Paulo for years. Pollution, traffic and crime is not going to bring us down. Still, it was sobering journey home. This is now our home. 

Everything seems familiar but at the same time different.

We need to reacquaint ourselves. It was a strange feeling that we are going to be novice in a ministry which we were once leaders. The children that we once knew in the streets would be in their thirties. The street culture has changed but the problems remain the same. The children are in the streets because they have given up hope. However, now they take solace in crack cocaine and violence. Our fellow missionaries tell us that it has become harder to build relationships with them because they are high on drugs most of the time and when they are off the effects of drugs, they are robbing or begging to get more money for their next fix.

We had a meeting with the missionary team. We are working in partnership with a missionary organization called Project 242. The mission is Brazilian but our team of six has only one Brazilian member. Four are from the States (including myself even though I am Singaporean/American) and one missionary is from Germany. Our challenge as a team is to find ways to build relationships with these children. Unfortunately it is the very thing that these children are running away from because they are afraid to love and be loved.

Some of the team members are going to focus on visiting teens who are in the local reformatory. Some are considering visiting those who are formerly from the streets and are able to return to their families in the slums. Mary and I have decided that we want to focus on working in the streets directly for one primary reason. We need to know the children in their context and the children need to know us. Most importantly, we want to discover what God is doing in the streets of São Paulo so that we can participate in His work.

The team has agreed to create sacred spaces in the areas where the children hang out and use drugs. We plan to do this by setting aside certain areas in the streets as a places of prayer before we start our activities with the children. We also would close our time in prayer in the same exact location. In this way, we are symbolically consecrating spaces that are usually associated with drugs and violence. Most importantly, it would help us to look at these places with different sets of eyes.

The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. (Luke 11:34)

This is our first step as a new team. The team has been working together for years now without us but our presence has changed the dynamics of this ministry. Together we are starting a new ministry.

Monday will be our first day in the streets. I will share our first impressions with you. Please be praying with us.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait. And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord. More than those who watch for the morning-Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.”– Ps 130:5-6

This Friday is the big day. We are going to pick up our visa for Brazil in Miami. We have been waiting for this moment for eight months. The wait is almost over but not quite yet. We are still waiting. We are waiting in hope.

“Waiting means not having and having at the same time.”– Paul Tillich

When we walk in faith in our spiritual journey, much time is spent in waiting. I don’t believe that people can wait passively for God to work unless we are waiting for something that is not of concern to us. Most of us wait actively. We try to push things along for God. I thought I knew how God should work and tried to get things going in that direction. I wasn’t successful, obviously. However, it does not mean I am not going to do it in the future. Waiting actively is a struggle of knowing what to do and what is beyond my doing. I think this is part of learning how to wait. We need to come to the point where we realize that our efforts are limited and we don’t have the final word on how things should be. Waiting on the Lord is learning to trust that He is our only Hope.

Hoping and waiting are inseparable. Those who have lost hope do not wait for anything. Some people give up hope because they do not want to wait.

“We had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel.” (Luke 24:21)

These were words of the disciples on the road to Emmaus. They had no longer a reason to wait because they had lost hope, so much so that they failed to recognize the resurrected Messiah walking with them.

Waiting helps us to watch and see what the Lord is doing. Waiting also destroys false ideas of God. Many people give up on God because they tire of waiting for God to act. I wanted God to act in a certain way these past few months. God did everything completely different. He did not follow my timetable. He did not do things according to the way I thought things should be done. God surprised me. He showed me that He was bigger than my imagination. He was bigger than my idea of God. Waiting is allowing God to be God. It is learning to trust God for who He is and not what He can or should do for us.

I cannot see Jesus in my life and in the lives of others if I do not wait for Him. Waiting helps us to look for God. I cannot preach the gospel effectively to the homeless if I do not know how to wait. Unfortunately, no one can be an expert in waiting. It gets tougher as we grow in our faith because the stakes eventually get higher.  St. Paul tells us of one thing that is sure, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ “(Phil. 1:6).

We do not wait for God to do what we think is best for us. We wait in hope that our Father is doing a good thing in our lives even when we fail to see it. We wait and trust that God knows the best for those whom He loves. This is our hope; now we have to wait and see this in action.

Please share your thoughts.

I recently shared about my visa anxiety. Overwhelmed and discouraged, I was feeling afraid, doubtful about myself and even my vocation. I am sure that I am not alone in feeling this way in the midst of a trying situation. My mind was cluttered with worry, too cluttered for me to even think straight. Thankfully, there were people praying for me. Something powerful happens when people pray for us; so powerful that even an agnostic friend of mine admits that when religious people pray for him he senses their positive energy. I think this is his way of saying that the power of prayer is not just a psychological phenomenon, but it does affect our environment in a concrete way.

The gospels tell us that the people were often amazed that when Jesus taught for He spoke with authority unlike the religious leaders. The gospel of John tells that the people marveled at Jesus’ authority because they knew that it did not come from education like that of the scribes. The source of Jesus’ authority was not His knowledge. The disciples knew the source of this power and they went straight to the source when they asked Jesus to teach them to pray.

Prayer is God’s special powerful gift given to us. It is not be to used as an afterthought. It is our connection to God and each other. This connection helps us to say the right thing at the right time and maybe not to say anything at all at the right time. Most importantly, people who pray know how to speak authoritatively to the souls of those for whom they praying. This is why when my mind was cluttered with worries of every shape and form in regards to the visa, those who were praying for me were able to speak to my soul and remind me that my hope and vocation is not dependent on any thing but God. It is God who brings to completion the good work He has started in us. Only people who pray for us can speak authoritatively to our souls. They make biblical verses alive while those who cite verses without prayer are like clanging cymbals.

We cannot serve among the homeless children and adults in São Paulo without the spiritual participation of those who pray for us regularly. We are feeling hopeful and reminded of our joint vocation to serve God. It is a corporate effort that can only be fulfilled through prayer.

Thank you for your prayers. Your words brought much joy and peace to our hearts. We are still waiting on our visa. We trust that it will come in God’s perfect timing.

Francisca invited us into home immediately after meeting us for the first time. It was tiny shack that was overcrowded with stuff she salvaged from the trash from the streets. She had a worn out sofa that was covered with a blanket and it was best not to look what was beneath it. Personally, I was overwhelmed by her hospitality and openness to   receive us into her home. I knew that I was given the privilege to be part of this person’s private life. She called out all her children and she introduced her three daughters to us. The oldest was 16 years old and the youngest was about 11. They were all studying in the public school. These girls looked happy and their faces was open and friendly. Francisca was originally from the Northeast of Brazil which is the poorest part of Brazil. She came to São Paulo with her young children and learned to survive in this harsh reality. I got in touch with Francisca when I discovered this small favela community of 30 families hidden under a highway bridge. It was about 1/2 mile away from the red light district. Francisca was considered a spokesperson of the favela and I sought her out to find out if we could start some programs for the children there. While we were sitting in this tiny shack and I noticed that there were two huge TV sets. I finally broke down and asked her why she had two TV sets. She told me that one TV had only the audio and no image whereas the other one had the image but no audio. Together they had a complete TV. These are the kind of people that lived in the slums. Hospitable and resourceful and always open to receive people into their humble homes even though they did not have much to offer. This particular slum had its share of problems. There were some drug dealers and every now and then there were gun fights. Most of the people were like Francisca. They would get up early in the morning to look for useful and recyclable trash. They return late in the evening with their so-called treasures and exchange them for cash at the recycle center for enough cash to buy dinner and maybe a packet of cigarettes. In the evening they would do everything possible to be good parents. The children would do their part as well. The little ones as young as ten would shine shoes and the older girls would prepare food at home with whatever they could scrounge. I used to make pastoral visits in the evening and pray with them. I was amazed how much I learned from them. We had many special memories with the people in the slums. My favorite was watching the World Cup Soccer game at Francisca’s house with the two TV sets. The most special moment was when we had to leave Brazil abruptly for a few years. These people got some money together and bought me a Brazilian soccer jersey so that I would remember our time together. I could never forget them.

I found this documentary clip below on youtube that does a good job showing the favelas. However, the clip can only go so far. It cannot show the hospitality and openness of these people which prompted me to share about our experience with Francisca. The people who live in the slums are not saints and they are not sinners. They are people struggling to make sense of their lives in the midst of extreme violence and yet, through God’s grace, they do not harbor hatred and anger in their hearts. They consider themselves to be blessed because they can share what they have received.

The second clip is an interesting update report on the effects of the economic growth in the slums of Brazil.  It also shows the present challenges but most importantly, it reveals that even in the darkest places God raises up saints to be instruments of hope for the people.

It was about five years ago we returned from Brazil thinking that our time in missions was done. Our second missionary venture in Brazil was not a positive experience even though looking back now we can see many wonderful things that happened to us. However, it does not change the unpleasantness of the whole experience. The thing that made it unpleasant was the visa process. We were actually afraid to return to mission because of this. We always encounter some problems with our visa. Many times it was something beyond our control. There was always some paperwork that was lacking which no ones really knows about except for the bureaucrats. It was usually something trivial and they would treat it as if our visa application was completely dependent on it. This is the one thing that makes us nervous. We are not afraid about working in the red light district, even though it is reputed to be one of the most dangerous places in São Paulo. This does not bother us in the least bit, but we feel nervous and insecure when it comes to the visa application process. This is our Goliath. We wish we could find a David to do the battle for us. Unfortunately for us, we have to face him ourselves and God is only arming us with just a sling. I would rather go out with the full armor.

We are applying for a missionary visa that would be enable to stay and work in Brazil for two years and upon the second year, we can apply for permanent residence. This is our intention. This visa is only given to those who have a religious organization in Brazil to sponsor them. We have been waiting for all the necessary sponsorship documents which had taken longer than expected. Now, these documents are finally due to arrive this week. This means that sometime this week we will be heading out to Miami to apply for our visa. Even though we have all the necessary paperwork, it is still nerve-wracking. The scripture that keeps popping into my mind is Luke17:6

“If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea.’ and it would obey you.”

I use mustard seeds a lot in my cooking. They are an essential ingredient in Indian food. I know that they are tiny and small but it still does not help me. It makes me doubt whether I have any faith at all. I usually handle doubts well until I need to step out in faith. I need to remind myself that I am going into a ministry where young people who are living in seemingly hopeless situations have to take the risk and trust God to face their Goliath. Their Goliath appears to be bigger than the bureaucrats that I need to face. David’s victory over Goliath set the pace for his vocation as the king of Israel. We need to face our Goliath, I need to face my Goliath. Our faith can only grow when we face him. I faced him before and even though our past experiences were unpleasant, God still carried us through them. It is not about success or failure but it is about taking the risk and garnering up our mustard seed faith to meet our fears. Please remember us in your prayers this week. God bless.

Please share your thoughts. They do encourage us.

“But as it is written: ‘Eye has not seen, nor the ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him’ But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.”-1 Corinthians 2:9-10

I was walking down a street named Victoria which was really a sad name for the place. There was nothing victorious about the place or the people who lived there. The street was notorious for its crack addicts and sex workers. I walked passed a seedy hotel and caught a glimpse of an emaciated sex worker. I don’t know how old she was but she was definitely younger than she looked. Her face looked sad and lost. She was sitting on the steps of the staircase and resting her head against the dirty wall. She looked exactly like the mental images one would have of a heroin addicted prostitute. I only saw her for a second but I never will forget her. I believe God wanted me to see her because I will never forget her. She does not know who I am or my name and she did not even see me that day. She was exhausted from the burdens life had dished out to her. I felt helpless as I walked away from the scene. I prayed for her. She is someone precious. She is the lost sheep that Jesus would leave the ninety nine to search for. Victoria Street is one of the filthiest places in the red district but the lost sheep seem find themselves in this place and similar streets like it. Everyone thinks that they come to this place because of drugs. This is an easy answer to the problem. God does not call His church to look for easy answers. God has called us to listen to the Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, yes, even the deep things of God.

We have been absent from street ministry for more than ten years. Things have gotten worse according to some of the missionaries. The violence among the children has increased. The number of crack addicts is on the rise. However, the children still go the streets for the same reason they did when we started working with them twenty years ago. Nothing has changed in this aspect. All the children go to the street because it is safer for them. The red light district is a haven for those who are abused and rejected by those who are supposed to care for them and love them. The sex workers and the homeless adults are in the streets because this is their final stop. This is the only place that would accept them. It is not a gracious place by any means. However, this is the place where they feel safe. We might not feel safe there because we have a safe place in our homes among our families. They don’t have any family in the true sense of the word. This is why Jesus left the ninety-nine in search of the one because the one really has no one in this world except for the Good Shepherd.

In the Book of Numbers, God commanded the people of Israel to set aside certain places to be cities of refuge for those who unintentionally murdered someone. These places were a place of protection for these people from those seeking vengeance. The purpose of the city of refuge is to protect those who are in danger of harm. The red light district is a city of refuge for these children. However, a city of refuge is not supposed to be a permanent place of abode. We might have a romanticized idea of a place of refuge. In our minds we think of a place of refuge as some place peaceful and beautiful. For a refugee, a place of refuge is just somewhere temporary. It can never be home. Refugees always dream of going home. These children, the adults and the sex workers dream about going home as well. They dream about a family. They dream of a better life. However, they cannot leave their city of refuge until they know that they going somewhere better. The drugs and destructive sex numbs them from the pain they suffer as they begin to lose hope of returning home. However, the Spirit reveals the deep things of God. We cannot ask people to leave their refuge without offering them a home.       They need not just a physical shelter only but a family. These children are in what seems to be the bottomless pit and those who listen to the Spirit have a message of hope for them.

“I waited patiently for the Lord;And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of miry clay.And set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.He has put a new song in my mouth-Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.”-Psalm 40:1-3

God calls us to experience His grace and power in a deeper sense each day but we cannot see and hear His power if we are not willing to see the deep things God is doing in our lives and those around. We cannot see the power of gospel if we are not willing to listen to the deep thing the Spirit is saying to us. We won’t be able to hear the Spirit until we are willing to go beyond the superficial and listen to the deep things of the Spirit. However, we can only listen to the Spirit if we are willing to become instruments of God’s grace.

Please share your thoughts on this.

I was trying find some you tube videos that would help give people an idea of the diversity and immensity of the city of São Paulo. The best video I found is a short movie which shows many scenes of São Paulo especially in Old Center where we are going to be working. The young man in the video is not a missionary and has nothing to do with our mission. He is an actor and from the video, he appears to be very talented acrobat. The video is six minutes long and you can watch it if you just want to get an idea of the city. It is beautifully done and the photography is impressive. I think it is a good introduction to São Paulo and perhaps even doing acrobatics in odd places.

This video below is a PBS documentary on the Street Children of São Paulo. The program focuses on the areas where we are going to be working. The couple interviewed  are George and Cally Magalhaes. I don’t know them personally as they started working in the street a few years after we left Brazil. However, I do know of them as they worked together with the ministry that we had a hand at starting. Therefore, we share similar approaches. This couple have since moved on to focus on working in the juvenile prison centers and they seem to have a successful ministry in this area. There is a pattern among the many ministries that work directly or indirectly with the street children. They all start at the street level and then discover areas where they feel that that they could effectively impact young lives. This documentary was done in 2009 and the situation they describe is very much alive. I think it is worth watching this clip just to have a perspective of street ministry from different missionaries working in the same area.

“Blessed are you poor, for the yours is the kingdom of God.”- Luke 6:26

You don’t have to work with the poor to realize that there is nothing blessed about being poor. Most of us invest time and energy trying to escape poverty. Even the poor want to desperately flee poverty. No one in their right mind would say that being poor is a blessed state. Some people like to romanticize poverty. Well, this is an insult for those who live in abject poverty. Jesus was not a romantic. He knew what poverty could do to a person. He did not distance himself from the brutal realities of life. He saw the hopeless desperation of the poor. He reached out and helped those who were destitute like the widow who lost her only son in Luke 7:11-17. Yet, Jesus taught that the poor are blessed.

Many times those who minister to the poor including myself have a ‘top-down’ approach in ministry. We think of ourselves as the ‘haves” and those to whom we minister as the ‘have-nots’. There is nothing wrong with it. We won’t be able to help unless we are better off materially than those who are in abject poverty.  Unfortunately, no matter how we approach charitable work even when we arm ourselves with sincere humility and kindness, there is always an inevitable divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have-nots’.  However, if we take the words of Jesus seriously then it should radically change the way we minister to the poor. If the poor are blessed as Jesus says, then they have something to offer to us. However, if we think being blessed in purely material sense, then we won’t understand the meaning of Jesus’ enigmatic words. We need to define blessedness according to the message of the gospel.

Jesus taught that the poor are blessed because theirs is the kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is later defined in the apostle’s writing as the New Creation. The Kingdom of God is not a reformation of the Old but a formation of something new. However, we might not be ready for the new if we are happy with the old. We might not be willing to give up the old unless we see it for what it is. Perhaps, true blessedness is knowing and discerning the true state of the old so much so that we desire for the New Creation. The poor are blessed because they are aware of the failure of this present age. Jesus is implying to the chagrin of most religious people that the poor are closer to the kingdom than the rest of us. So, what makes the poor so special that they can see the need for the New clearer than the rest?

Well, we need to look at the poor honestly. The poor in society are usually those who have failed in society. I am not going into the sociological and psychological factors that promote poverty. This is not quite relevant to discover the blessedness of the poor. It is not uncommon for people to speak of the poor with disdain because society considers them as failures. Those who have been able to come out of poverty are most often the very ones who are hostile towards the poor. The reality is that the blessedness of the poor is their failure to be successful in society. Consequently, being successful in society can be a curse. Jesus alludes to this in the gospel when He says, For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?(Mark 8:36). Being successful in this world means we know how to navigate in this world. It means that we are comfortable in this world or this age. However, St Paul admonishes us, Be not conformed to this age: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2). Most of us operate quite well in this age and try to work our spirituality around the principles and values of this age. The poor have failed in this age. They are rejected by this age. They are experiencing the brutality of this failure. They are blessed because they are a step closer to understanding that they need the New Creation. Most people are happy with this age if there could be some minor alterations. The Kingdom of God is a not reformation but a transformation. We cannot be transformed if we are not able to let go of this world. The poor don’t have to let go of anything because they have been cast out. Sometimes we think that it is our duty to help the poor to reintegrate. This would be the same helping someone who got past an addiction to discover a new addictive drug. We need to realize that reintegration is not the gospel answer.

“No one puts new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Luke 5:37)

When we are called to minister to the poor, it is a call for a transformation. It is not a call to help those who are doomed to failure to be successful in this age. This is the “haves and have-nots” approach to ministry. We are not helping anyone when we do these. It is a call for mutual transformation. It is a call be part of the New Creation. Unless we are willing to be transformed ourselves, we will never understand why the poor are blessed. If we want to be transformed, then we are on the same path as the poor to discover the meaning of the New Creation. Maybe the poor can see clearer why we need a new creation than we do if we are successful in this age.

And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am. And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of. And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him. (Genesis 22:1-3)

A lot has been said about this story. It brings up some ethical questions. No matter how we approach this story, it is still a very difficult and disturbing story. It goes against everything we know and understand about God. I guess all these questions are important for us to ponder about. The challenge of this story is whether we should put a limit in trusting God. This is really the thrust of this story. Abraham had all the right reasons to say enough is enough. After all, it was not his idea that he should be the father of all nations. It was not his idea to have Isaac. He was happy with Ishmael but God wanted his heir to be born of Sarah. It was all God’s idea and now, God demanded the ultimate sacrifice. Most of us in Abraham’s situation would not have done it. However, most of us are not in Abraham’s situation. Abraham gave up everything to follow God’s promise. Abraham was the kind of disciple that Jesus demands, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple”. (Luke14:26)

I am not sure how many Christians can compare themselves with Abraham. However, most of us have been in situations where we needed to trust God even though it seems frightening and the possibility of losing everything that we treasure is at stake. God asked Abraham to sacrifice everything that gave him a sense of meaning in this life.  How was Abraham able to do it? Most of us cannot say honestly that we would be able to do what Abraham did. Most of us would have just given up and gone home. Abraham did not falter. The Bible does not tell us about the anxiety and anguish that Abraham felt as he journeyed to the place of sacrifice. It was not necessary. None of us ever want to be in his shoes because we exactly know what it would be like.

Abraham’s sacrifice has been the focus of my meditation recently because we are waiting for God to act for our return to Brazil. One of the challenges of being a missionary is dealing with bureaucracy. We have to apply for our missionary visa and we need two official documents of sponsorship from a Brazilian religious entity. Usually this is a straightforward process but nothing really is straightforward when you are dealing with bureaucracy. Everything is being delayed for one or reason other and now we are just waiting. We have been waiting to return to Brazil since the end of May. In the process of waiting, it feels like nothing is happening. The idle mind is a fertile ground for doubts. We are assailed by thoughts of insecurities and like most of people, we want to be in control. It doesn’t take long for us to realize that there is no way we can ever control this situation. God is the only who can act and we need to give it up to Him. Only God can make it go in the right direction and the problem is whether we can trust Him to do it.

The writer of Hebrews states, “By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was said, “In Isaac, your seed shall be called,”concluding that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead.”(Hebrews11:17-18)

Abraham was able to offer his dream child to God because he understood that only God can fulfill our dreams. Even when allowing God means handing everything over to Him, it does not mean that it is the end of a dream. Abraham knew that Isaac belonged to God and God is able to do the impossible. Abraham trusted God in a way that very few of us would be able to do. When I read his story, I felt a little embarrassed. I am waiting for something that could easily be resolved. God is not asking me to give a dream but to trust him for the visa. Abraham trusted God in something which seems to be contrary very decent fibre of one’s being. Yet Abraham did not do it out of blind faith. He did it because he understood that without God, life would be meaningless for him. Isaac would fail to bring him the joy that he desire if he was not able to see the God who made Isaac a reality.

The problem with trusting God is not knowing what do to exactly. I fluctuated between being a fatalistic Christian or a manipulative one who tries to organize the outcome of everything. Both attitudes are obviously wrong. I am beginning to see that trusting God involves figuring what is God’s role and my role. So many times we try to be God that we forget what to do when we are not trying to be God. Trusting and waiting is the process of discovering my role and allowing God to be God. It is actually a process of discovering freedom. Abraham discovered the joy and freedom of knowing that all hopes and dreams do not rest on Isaac but the creator of Isaac. We hope to do the same. Please pray with us as we discover this. Pray also that our visa process will come through in God’s timing and that we would have the patience and wisdom to allow it to be so.