A Certain History

And he sent messengers ahead of him. On their way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make ready for him; but they did not receive him, because his face was set towards Jerusalem. When his disciples James and John saw it, they said, ‘Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?’ But he turned and rebuked them. Then they went on to another village. Luke 9:52-56

There is always a history behind most things. The Samaritans did not reject Jesus because of His Ministry or His Life. There was something hidden and deep rooted lurking behind their actions. James and John did not want to curse this village because of their zeal for Jesus. Their enthusiasm concealed some hidden prejudice and hatred. Jesus was able to perceive and understand the Truth behind people’s actions. We have seen this several times in the gospels. He was never impressed by the crowds which followed him nor did he allow their enthusiasm to influence his decisions. Jesus never dwells in the outward manifestations of life. Many would not have gone beyond superficial impressions. Perhaps this might be truer in our present times. It is not because we are living in exceptionally superficial times. We seem to occupy our time with things which rob our energy to see beyond what is presented to us. However, following Jesus demands that we walk in the footsteps of our Lord. It is no wonder that immediately after this episode, Jesus talked about the cost of being His disciple. In order for us to be disciples of Jesus, we must be willing to understand the world the way He understood it. We cannot continue to be like those who look, but not perceive, and listen, but do not understand (Mark 4:12).

Maria was very excited to see us. She gave us a hug and immediately sat herself next to me. She claimed that she has been clean for three months now. I do not think that she was lying but her sense of time could be a little off. It does not matter. The point is that she wants to be clean. This is in itself a radical change. She said that her mind is clearer now and she is even trying to go back to school. However, she realizes that she lacks the basic knowledge. She asked if we had text books on Portuguese grammar and mathematics. “They can’t be too hard,” she stressed. “I don’t understand complex stuff yet.” This was quite an interesting thing. Most of our youths are quite proud. They pretend to know more than they do. Their attitude is understandable. It is not something just peculiar to the homeless teens. It is just plain human nature. It pains us to admit that we don’t know as much as we claim to know. Unfortunately, for our children and teens, pride is one of the greatest obstacles for their progress. They cannot admit the fact that they need to be learn from someone else. They consider it too humiliating and in the end they give up.

Maria, fortunately, is different. She does not have these inhibitions. She does not feel the necessity to impress others. She recently got a notebook and now she is recording everything she knows in it. It sounds like it might be her very first notebook. It is quite sad in a way. Maria has been in the streets for a long time. She belonged to the first group we met in the streets. Actually, the very first blog post I wrote after we arrived here in 2013 was about our interaction with her brother, João. Their mother named her two children, João and Maria. Incidentally these names are the Brazilian translation of the Grimm’s fairy tale, “Hansel and Gretchen”. Both children were in the streets but not because their mother deliberately abandoned them in the “woods”. They ran away because they were afraid for their safety. Their mother suffers from mental illness and was unstable. Unfortunately, the children were not spared from it. Both João and Maria suffer from it too. João went deep into the “woods”. He now lives in the dreaded place called “Crackland”. People in this place are in a constant crack induced stupor. Maria managed to stay away from this place even though she always self-medicated with other substances. I have never written about her before because she always ignored us. Sometimes it seemed as if she was deliberately rude to us. Once she yelled at us for not being there for her. In her mind, she thinks that we did not keep our commitment over some things she imagined that we had promised to her. We thought for a long time that Maria was not interested in having any relationship with us. Then, unexpectedly, she sat next to us to tell us about all the wonderful things which are happening to her.

There were other times when she talked to us previously. Most of the time there was an ulterior motive usually involving money. However, this time it was different. It was something genuine. To be fair, this is not the first occasion when she showed her genuine character. There was another brief moment when Renan was murdered. Daniel asked us to pray for him and Maria came up and just sat next to us in silence. She sat with us for a long period without uttering a single word. Renan was her boyfriend. Now she was just talking non-stop but not in a negative way. She had interesting things to say. We listened to her silently. It was amazing to see her in this light. She displayed a sweetness which we had never seen before. She did not expect anything from us except to share all the good things that were unfolding in her life. She knew that we would appreciate them and be happy for her. Then some of her friends came around and she left with them. She almost forgot about us until her present boyfriend reminded her. She turned around and apologized and then said that she wants to show us her notebook the next time.

We just had a glimpse of the real Maria. It took a while to see the real person behind the mental illness and drugs. She is, by no means, healed. Most likely, she will never be completely healed. Nevertheless, we have seen enough to see her in a new light. Although, it is very possible that she might ignore us in the future, it will be different. A lot of things in life require several attempts. To expect Maria to overcome every obstacle in a short period of time is an unreasonable expectation. Healing is a process. The fact that she wanted to share with us her joys means that she considers us part of this healing process. We are eternally grateful for this. Beside, she taught us a valuable lesson; never come to precipitated conclusions about anyone just because they might appear to be indifferent or hostile. There is always a history behind people’s actions.

The Samaritans endured a history of hatred and rejection from the rest of the Jewish people. This history went back a long time and Jerusalem was the symbol of all this hostility. Jesus understood this and He did not take to heart their rejection. John and James were acting on their own prejudice. They were not acting as disciples of Jesus who taught repeatedly to forgive and heal, instead of harboring hatred and violence. There is no room for these things in the hearts of Jesus’ disciples. However, it is easy for us to feel angry when we see people acting in ways that seem contrary to what is right. We can be tempted to label these people with unflattering labels like criminals, lazy or spoiled. All these might describe their behavior but it is not who they are. Jesus saw beyond the behavior of the Samaritans. Therefore, as people desiring to follow our Lord, we need to see beyond behaviors and not let ourselves be fooled by so-called religious or pious actions which conceal something more sinister and detrimental.

In our hearts, we gave up on Maria a long time ago. We never outwardly rejected her but we never imagined that we could have any meaningful relationship with her. It took her a while to come out of all the dirt that has been heaped upon her since the day she was born. Now, she realizes that there are some people waiting for her on the other side. I am glad she considers us to be among those waiting.

There is another youth who is either 18 or close to it and never says a word to us. We don’t even know his name. We have never seen him smile. He always puts on a tough exterior. Unfortunately, he is steeped in criminal activities. Nevertheless, every time he sees us, he will shake our hands first before greeting any of his friends. He always does this. There is something special in this young man. Maybe one day he will be able to show his true nature to us. Till then we are not going to give up on him. Thank you, Maria, for this precious lesson.

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Lovely and Unexpected

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability. Acts 2:4

I used to like post-apocalyptic movies but recently, they have lost their appeal. Everything changes when our reality reflects what once was a mere fantasy.

Every day we see abandoned buildings, increasing sense of lawlessness, trash scattered everywhere and families living in makeshift tents cooking their dinner on improvised stoves, while the police walk around armed to the teeth as if we are in war. All this we see in our own neighborhood and we live in supposedly the richest city in Latin America. I thought maybe I am just being negative. Recently, we received a visitor in our home. It was a friend who is living in Europe presently. He is back on a short family visit. He decided it would be fun to walk to our place from his temporary lodgings. It’s not anywhere near us, almost two hours walking distance. Perhaps it sounds like a crazy idea for some but our friend is a very unique person. Besides, it is something I would do easily in his place. He wanted to get reacquainted with the city and this seemed like a good way. When he got to our place, he told us that he felt like he walked through the scenery from a post-apocalyptic movie without any of the entertaining element. It is not just my opinion then. We are living in a post apocalyptic state.

The place where we meet the children and teens is considered the old commercial center of this city. Sometimes the word “historic” is added to its description to attract the tourist. However, you have to be a pretty naive tourist to come here. It is quite dangerous and frightening. We are part of the environment now but it does not mean that we are immune to its dangers. We still need to be aware. There is a new group of children and teens who have moved to our area. Most of them do not know us. There are about at least 50 to 60 of them and they are mostly under the age of 12 with some older teenage girls in the mix. All of them are runaways from orphanages. We do not know exactly how they met. The pattern is always the same. The children and teens ran away from their situation and joined up with others like them and eventually they migrate to the historic center. The first thing they do is to prove how tough they are. As a result, any unfortunate soul wearing a gold chain is sure to lose it in this old center. I wish I was exaggerating but this is the sad truth.

A group of European looking tourists came walking towards the church and few seconds later they were running away from a bunch of children trying to rob them. An older teenage girl pounced on one of the tourists to steal her chain. She managed to get away with her things intact but I am not sure about her state of mind. It was quite an unsettling scene. The teenage girl behaved like a dreadful monster. However, it impressed the other children. No doubt this was her intention. She has proven herself to be one of them. Now she has a story to tell. The next day the same girl came up to us and asked if she could color with us.

She colored in silence. There is something about her face which revealed a timid gentle soul hiding behind a tough exterior. She spoke to us in curt sentences. She chose her colors carefully and then when she was finished she showed us her end product. It was truly beautiful. She stood up and walked away with a satisfied smile. The next day, when she saw us, she gestured to us to sit with her. She started coloring again and did not say anything. We did not want to burden her questions. The following day she called our names with a big smile. We do not recall telling her our names. Suddenly the images of the girl attacking an innocent tourist were not compatible with this girl we are beginning to know. She appeared to be a little child now. She asked Mary to teach her a few English words. She wanted to know how to say “sorry” in English. Ever since this day, she always comes up to us and sometimes she just stands next to us without saying anything, never hiding the fact that she is happy to see us. Our relationship is slowly developing through silence. The Holy Spirit gave us the capacity to speak the language this young girl understood without uttering a single word. She just wants to be close to someone who will let her be herself. It is apparent that she feels safe with us and we feel a sense of love creeping into our hearts. Suddenly, the world does not seem so dark and gloomy anymore. The Spirit brought a little girl who wants to be in a place where she can feel safe and loved. We are grateful that Holy Spirit considered us for the role.

Her name is Giovana.

Some Recent Interactions

Perhaps few days after I wrote this, we saw her in the streets playing with another teen. I suppose it is her boyfriend. We know him but we do not have any strong connection with him. She was playing with him like a little child. She ran up to him expecting him to catch her as she jumped into his arms. A game a little child would play with her father. When her boyfriend caught her, she was laughing and completely oblivious to the world. There was something sad about it.

A little later she came up and stood next to us, smiling. She wanted us to know that she had just celebrated her birthday. She added that the doors of the orphanage are permanently closed to her. It means that she is 18 now. We told her that we will do something special together. She smiled and thanked us. The next day, Mary wrote her name in beautiful calligraphy with special birthday wishes. We also included a box of good chocolate and a pair of warm socks. It has been cold recently and anything warm is always welcomed. The next day, she came up and gave us hug. Our relationship has progressed to hugs. This is a pleasant development. She did not know that we had a gift for her. She was taken by surprise. She saw the chocolates and the socks. There was not much of a reaction beside a smile. Then she saw the hand written note. She showed it to the other kids who were more interested in the chocolates. She sat down and shared her chocolates with the others but held the note in her hand. It was something that just belonged to her.

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Going out of His way

Jesus then asked him, ‘What is your name?’ He said, ‘Legion’; for many demons had entered him. They begged him not to order them to go back into the abyss. Now there on the hillside a large herd of swine was feeding; and the demons begged Jesus to let them enter these. So he gave them permission. Then the demons came out of the man and entered the swine, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned. Luke 8:30-33

I heard one of the most disturbing things and at the same time, I was encouraged. It might appear that I have violated some Law of Logic here. I hope Aristotle would give me a moment to explain myself. Before I can do this, I need to introduce Ron. Actually it is somehow pronounced as Hon. In reality, his name is Tiago. I think I am confusing everyone. Sometimes things are little confusing in the streets. To make matters worse, the children and teens refer to him as a “she” even though he has never once dressed as a woman nor behaves like one. They say that he is a trans. We respect people where they are and Ron knows this but has never asked us to address him as such. Therefore, he will be a “he” here.

Ron is not really a teen. He is not even a young adult. He is in his thirties. We know his exact age. However, he made us promise not to reveal it so I am obliged to keep our word. He has been homeless since he was a teenager. This is why he has an affinity with the children and teens. The children adore him even though he finds them to be annoying. He often refers to them as a bunch of lazy criminals. Despite his caustic humor, he has a deep affection for them. When Wesley died a few months ago, I saw Ron hiding in a corner to cry. The former used to annoy Ron a lot when he was alive. The children think Ron is funny and feel safe with him. He is part of the children’s environment just as we are part of it too. Anyone who wants to foster deep relationships with them has to accept those in their environment. I’m sure that they observe how we treat Ron. Fortunately, we enjoy his company. This can not be said of everyone in the children’s environment which includes some dangerous and unsavory characters. We just acknowledge their presence and keep a safe distance.

Ever since the Pandemic started, the local government has set up hygiene stations where the homeless can take a shower and wash their clothes. They also provide clean undergarments. A simple thing as such has improved the quality of their lives radically. The older teens take regular showers now and often look very neat and tidy thanks to this service. Ron also takes full advantage of this. He has a bag full of clothes and washes them once a week. He is quite an organized fellow. This week while he was waiting for his clothes to get done, he came and talked with us. He timed himself so that he knew exactly when his clothes would get done. Unfortunately, he got distracted and was five minutes late. One of the staff chided him saying it was unacceptable and banned him from washing clothes for the rest of the month. It was a little disproportionate. She even refused to let him dry his clothes. He carried all his wet clothes and laid them on the floor so they could dry in the sun. Naturally, I was appalled at this callous attitude of the staff. This is Brazil. People are always late. Whenever I have my friends over to my place, I know that everyone will be at least half hour late on a good day. The norm is one hour. No one is hardly on time for any appointment. It’s just part of life here and usually no one really minds. Moreover, no one ever thinks of apologizing for being late. No judgement here. It is just the way things are and it’s neither bad nor good. However, apparently the staff at this place is either from another country which is most unlikely or mean-spirited. I reiterated that being five minutes late is not that big of a deal especially for the homeless who don’t have watches nor mobile phones. Ron replied by saying this is the norm. It is not about tardiness. Most staff who work in the government social programs hate the homeless. He said that all the children and teens know this. Even when those give out food at night, they can be mean and say degrading things to them.

In a way, this is not news. I have observed the social workers and other governmental agencies in the streets. They do treat the homeless either with indifference in most cases or unprovoked hostility in some situations. Ron said that the homeless are used to this hostility. It is just part of their life. Then he said, “You like us.” I almost did not hear him saying this. I was disturbed by the fact that people who choose to work with the homeless continue to disseminate attitudes of hatred and rejection towards them. To be fair, I have met some social workers who were excellent but they never stay long in the field. They always get frustrated but not with the children and teens. They feel like they are working against an army of demons. Of course, these are not their exact words. I am interpreting what they said.

Unfortunately, the word, demon, tends to conjure up caricature images in our minds, no thanks to cheap and vacuous movies and literature. If we believe that the essence of God is Love and the ministry of Jesus is to reconcile us to this love then demons includes anyone who promotes hatred and alienation of any group of people. In all societies, these demons are present. Sometimes they have a permanent place. Legion is not just peculiar to Gerasene. It has a foothold in this city too. It doesn’t want to leave this place. Unfortunately there are many here who are willing to give Legion a place in their lives whereas the irrational beings like the pigs would rather die than be a host to such destructive forces.

Jesus did not need to go Gerasene. This was explained to me by a scholar who likes to study New Testament geography, something which I lack the inclination to do. It makes complete sense. No devout Jewish person would wonder into a place where swines are livestock. Nevertheless, Jesus made a special trip to this place to do just one thing. He wanted to heal a man who the whole village kept in an alienated state. He served a purpose for them. Maybe he kept strangers away from the place. Perhaps he was the perfect scapegoat for that particular society. They were not interested in his healing. They wanted him to remain in his state. If this wasn’t the case, then they would have been happy when Jesus healed him. Instead they were more concerned for their livestock. The economy was much more important than the healing of a human being. They would rather cohabit with demons than lose some money. They did not want a savior to upset their well-established order. Despite the rejection of the people, Jesus fulfilled his purpose in that place. He came to heal just that one person. Legion still remained in that particular city. It did not matter. Jesus healed this one soul. The kingdom of God was established in that place.

In every society, there are demons who like to keep things the way they are. We need to make sure that we do not become one of their host. Clearly, no one wants this. All of us want to be agents of Love and Reconciliation. Yet, wanting something is not enough. Our Lord would go out of His way to bring healing to people who suffered the most by the oppression of these demonic forces. It is an active vocation which does not happen naturally. We must act to become agents of healing.

Jesus did say that before we take the speck out of the other’s eyes, make sure we don’t walk around a log in our own eyes. Therefore, we have to ask ourselves if we are being agents of love to the homeless. It is not a given just because we are ministering among the children. The staff who was mean to Ron also works among the homeless. Later than evening, I remembered Ron’s words. “You like us.” He is easy to like but there are those who are not that easy. They need God’s healing and reconciliation too.

Jesus came to preach the good news to a specific people but He made His detours as the Spirit led. We have the same Spirit here with us to guide us to become God’s agent of Love and Reconciliation where He has placed us. In this world, we can be either vessels of Legion and disseminate destruction or we can be agents of love and reconciliation.

There is a street cleaner of the area where the children stay. Every day she sweeps around the area at the end of day. She always has a smile for everyone and always speaks lovingly to the all the homeless. Everyone loves her including us. Sometimes she makes little comments which make the children and teens feel loved. She is just a street cleaner to the world but in reality, she is a genuine agent of love and reconciliation. No one will ever hear about anything written about this woman. Yet, her love will always be remembered by the homeless and by us as well.

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Holy Trinity Holy Love

I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:12-13

Some days nothing happens. Sometimes something which seems like nothing turns out to be something important. Today, Kawanna was just thirsty.

She did not ask us to buy her some water. She wanted to know if the other children and teens could spare her some. No one had any. It is strange that no one talks about thirst. Water is such a visible commodity and is hard to imagine its scarcity. It is easier to get food than water. I mean potable water. Quite frequently, the homeless would wander around at night seeking for a place which would give them a cup of water. They would wake up extremely thirsty and unable to sleep until their thirst was quenched. The concierge of our building told me that he is instructed not to give out any water even from the tap. The management is afraid it might be become an habit. I did not realize thirst was a habit. Thankfully, our concierge disobeys this order and secretly has two liter bottles of water ready each time someone comes by asking for it.

We decided to buy Kawanna a big bottle of water. It is such an easy thing for us to do. There is a convenience store right where the children hang out. It is one of those nondescript stores which have cropped up ubiquitously ever since the city has attempted to regain normality. Surprisingly, the children and teens are comfortable entering this establishment. They are prone to avoid stores because they feel like everyone is eyeing them suspiciously. This one is different for them. It’s their store. They mostly buy water or drinks there. Thirst is a truly a problem.

Mary entered the store with Kawanna and I stood outside because I was too lazy to put on a mask. As I waited for them, I saw a young teen coming out of the store. I have known him since he was a very young lad but he hardly does anything with us. He used to be annoying but now he has mellowed a bit. He saw me and gave me hug. Anyone observing us would have thought that I have a strong relationship with this boy. I was quite taken aback myself. Nevertheless, he chatted for a while, just small talk, nothing profound and gave me another hug and left. Then two other older teens came by. They belonged to the group which was involved in crime. These do not usually interact with us so much, albeit they are always respectful. One of the boys hugged me before going into the store. I do not even know this boy’s name and never realized he was even aware of our presence but he knew my name.

Two teens who hardly gave us any attention when we are with the other children suddenly are showing warmth and affection towards me. Maybe I was standing in a neutral area and they felt free to be themselves. All in all it was a pleasant experience. Mary and Kawanna were taking a long time. Then before I knew it, someone hugged me from the side. It was Daniel. This one was expected. He is one of our favorites. I was getting lots of love just waiting in front of this store. Again, a casual observer might think that I am someone really popular with these homeless teens. There were a couple of policemen looking at me. It was not the kind of attention which I wanted. Mary and Kawanna finally came out. There was an issue.

It was really nothing, not worth going into details at least, just a rude older customer trying to provoke them. Thankfully, Kawanna did not take the bait even though she was upset. She confessed that she wanted to react and say something but controlled herself instead. Mary tried to explain to her at times it is best to just ignore these antagonistic people. Kawanna shared a recent incident where a random stranger attacked one of her friends for no apparent reason. She had to defend her friend by punching the guy until he released his choke on her friend. She added that it made her feel awful as she hates violence. This is quite interesting hearing from a girl who spent years in the juvenile detention center for being an accomplice in a violent crime. She was divulging something to us which she may not have the freedom to say with others. It is important to put on a tough exterior in the streets especially for the girls. All of us can imagine why this is necessary. However, they know that with us they can be themselves without any fear.

Perhaps you might be wondering how this is all connected with the Holy Trinity. In a way, it has nothing to do with it if we are talking about the doctrine. The doctrine itself can be a monotonous and tedious concept wrought with technical terms. For most of us it might sound mild fascinating but mostly irrelevant. We just want to discover and understand the Love of God. It is good to remember that the fundamental intention of this doctrine is to discover how God’s love operates in this world. A full knowledge of the complexity of the Holy Trinity is not necessary. The Holy Trinity is about encountering God, not about learning a doctrine.

Our children and teens need to encounter the Trinity in their daily life. Most of them are orphans and it is important for them to know that they are not abandoned, despite the fact that the world rejects them. They often say that their only true parent is God. They are not saying this because they are in a so-called religious culture. It is based on their experience and hope. Furthermore, they need guidance to live their lives in a way of Love. They need to encounter the person of Jesus in the lives of people so they have a means to understand how to imitate Him. Most importantly, they need the strength to face the Truth about themselves. Most of them are afraid to do this. However, one can never understand Love without facing the Truth and one cannot face the Truth without the strength and power of Love. It is an almost impossible task for us to reconcile both of these. Most of the time, we tend to adopt a sentimental expression of Love without the Truth or we speak the Truth in a harsh and loveless manner. Thankfully, what is impossible for humans is possible through the divine act of the Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, Truth and Love cannot be reconciled.

Therefore, every attempt to share God’s Love is essentially living out the doctrine of the Holy Trinity.

Kawanna was thirsty. We just wanted to buy her a bottle of water but we ended up giving Jesus a glass of water without thinking about it. Where Jesus is present, Truth is seen and heard clearly. These boys who are apparently cold and distant are actually thirsty for Love. They were not hesitant to show it when there was an opportunity. Maybe we need to hang out outside the store more often, maybe not. I think that the Holy Spirit will open doors for us at the right moment. We just have to make ourselves available and not discard an opportunity just because it appears to be insignificant. After all, we serve a Lord who can turn water into wine. I am glad that we did not disregard Kawanna’s thirst because of its simplicity. In reality, the most profound moments of Love are encountered in the simple things and actions.

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What does this mean?

Amazed and astonished, they asked, ‘Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.’ All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, ‘What does this mean?’ But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’ Acts 2:7-13

It has been almost ten years since I preached in a church. Well, we visit churches in Florida every two years or so. I usually preach a sermon but mostly focused on our work here. It has been a while since I walked up those tiny stairs leading to a pulpit and addressed a congregation on a feast day like today; Pentecost Sunday. I accepted an invitation to preach two weeks ago. Now, I am miserable. I am not sure what I am going to say. I have to face a group of people who do not look anything like the homeless children and teens. For starters, the place will be clean; no trash and litter lying around. No one will sniffing paint thinner or smoking. Everyone will be sober, at least we hope. It is going to be a completely different congregation for me. I feel a little lost. I kept staring at the text above, hoping something would pop up. I am drawing a blank. Maybe I made a mistake accepting the invitation. It is too late now. I have to say something. I think I will start with Jesus. After all, He is the One who links the people of my street church with this congregation of well-dressed people.

Jesus said that you cannot put new wine into old wineskins. It is interesting that the scoffers on the day of the Holy Spirit said that the disciples were filled with new wine. They were right. New Wine was being poured out into the world. Unfortunately, the scoffers in their arrogance were more interested in humiliating the disciples instead of asking the right question. I think that this is often the problem. They were satisfied with their superficial reading of the situation instead of seeking true understanding. Fortunately, there were people who were sensitive to what God was doing. They were amazed that Galileans were speaking in foreign languages. For some reason, people from this region did not garner much respect from the general public in Jesus’ time. Nevertheless, they were the perfect candidates for the Holy Spirit. It was important on this special day that no one doubt the power of the Holy Spirit in action. The first miracle of Pentecost was the speaking of languages of all the peoples present there. This is of uttermost importance. It changed everything for the disciples. It changed how they understood God’s Truth in this world. They were right in asking the question; what does this mean?

A language is not just words joined together in a grammatical order. It is a treasury and library of traditions, concepts and beliefs of each culture. The disciples of Jesus were Jewish. They believed that God can only be addressed in their liturgical language which was Hebrew. It was not because they believed their language was superior. Many of them knew Greek. They were aware of its sophisticated philosophy and literature. However, they were convinced that God chose Hebrew as the language to transmit His Truth to the world. It contain the symbols and concepts necessary to comprehend the Truth about God. However, in an instance, all this changed when God’s Spirit gave people the miraculous capacity to speak and proclaim God’s praise in all the languages of the world. The sacred was no longer a property of one language. It is present in different traditions and cultures. Every people group have within them the capacity to receive and express the Truth within the context of their own cultural experience. In other words, God was no longer the exclusive right of one nation or people but His Truth is universally present everywhere. Consequently, Jesus is not just the Messiah of the Jewish people but Jesus is the Messiah of all peoples in the world. This radically changed the way the disciples understood the person of Jesus. It changed how they treated people from different religious traditions or nationalities. It broke down the walls which separated people. They did not go to other peoples to debate or convince them that Jesus was the Messiah. They went searching for the Messiah revealed in other traditions. It was not necessary for the world to become Jewish to receive Jesus. They just have to discover that Jesus is present where they are spiritually as a people.

Jesus prepared the disciples beforehand for the ministry of the Holy Spirit. He said that the Spirit will reveal the truth about Him. Consequently, the Spirit led them into the world where they discovered the true nature of Jesus. Despite this, there was still the temptation to restrict Jesus to a certain tradition and culture. In the New Testament, this struggle was obvious. It is still present today. Each group wants to present a Messiah created according to their own image. However, the voice of the Holy Spirit beckons us to come and meet and rediscover the true Jesus. He is not hiding from anyone. He is always present in an active way. The problem is that we do not ask the right questions in order to find Him. Many times, we are impressed with the dismay and chaos around us. Many times, we imposed our version of the Truth instead of listening to what the other has to say about their lives and spiritual encounter with God.

We ran into Alex a couple of days ago. Some of you may remember him. Some might have written to him. Alex was a severely neglected child who displayed autistic like behavior when we first met him. However, it was not autism. Alex was so neglected that he did not know how to react or respond to another human being. Well, he is no longer a child now. We have known him for almost nine years. He is going to turn twenty soon. He came up to us and gave us a hug. This is something new. He even said that he missed us a lot. He still sleeps in the streets but has found a job as an informal night watch person. They hardly pay him anything. In fact, they are exploiting him. In spite of this, Alex likes the fact that he does not need to beg anymore. He reminded us that his birthday is around the corner. For several years now, Alex always wants to spend his birthday with us. He always wants us to take him somewhere and on many occasions, this did not work out. Once it rained heavily. On another occasion we were away. The reality is that we only spent one birthday with him but we always made sure that he had something for his birthday. He always asked for the same thing, a notebook, despite the fact that he is illiterate. He likes to ask people to write his notebook. He also likes people to know that we gave it to him. Alex has given us a special place in his heart. However, it was not always like this. He used to ignore us whenever we saw him. Sometimes he would not say anything when we spoke to him. Initially we thought that he was rude. Thankfully the Holy Spirit taught us how to speak his language.

On one occasion Alex stopped us and asked if he could draw with us. He really wanted to share an experience with us. It was a time when he rode a horse. The orphanage where he stayed briefly organized an excursion to a ranch. He had never seen a horse till then. It was a special moment for him. His face was full of life when he shared that moment with us. It was not about the horse. Alex’s life has been a sequence of tragic loss. All his memories of his family were ones of sadness but the experience with the horse made him realize that there are moments of hope and love too. We listened to him. It was a precious moment for us as well. He spoke eloquently and the Holy Spirit gave us understanding that in his simple words he was sharing something sacred with us.

Alex is a different person now. He has changed. He is able to say that he likes us. He is able to express love. He is a new creature. He wanted to get our number so that we can arrange to meet him on his birthday which is in a few months time. Alex has no concept of time. Nevertheless, he has a strong concept of Love and it started with a horse. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit opened our eyes to see that the Love of God in this simple encounter that this young man had with an animal. It was the bridge that Alex needed to be connected with us. We did not discover any deep theological thought with Alex neither did we discover new doctrines about Jesus. We just encounter the living Jesus whenever we are together with him. This alone suffices to make us feel that life is indeed rich and beautiful.

This is what it means.

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Being United with Lovely People

“The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” John 17:25-26

There was an elderly retired English missionary in my first parish in the coastal city of Santos, just about an hour away from this city of São Paulo. The church was built as a chapel for the English who came to construct the railway system in Brazil. Most of them eventually left but a handful remained and the church continued to minister to these remnants. It wasn’t an easy place to start my ministry. Betty knew it. Her husband was my predecessor. He passed away just a few months after he retired as the parish priest. Initially, they came to Brazil as missionaries to the seafarers. For almost forty years, their home was a place of refuge for seafarers seeking a safe and loving environment to rest before embarking on another long journey. Life for this couple never was easy. There were moments Betty wanted to give up and return home to England. After all this, she promised herself that she would do everything within her power to make sure others would not go through what she did. She was always there for us. She was always in the background doing small things which might seem insignificant for others but they brought much joy and peace to our lives. Her home was our refuge. She always had a pot of tea and some English cookies. We would just sit and chat for hours. Whenever we left her cozy apartment, we felt ready to face whatever challenges awaited us.

One day she confided to me, “Reverend, I know my time is near. I hope that I did my part in showing God’s love and kindness in this world but one can never be sure. I have been a selfish person many times and I pray that God will forgive me.” Betty was not being modest. She was being honest. Her attitude did not come as a surprise to me. She walked in the company of the saints of the past. They always sensed the love of God in such a deep and profound way that they knew whatever they did would never reflect the tiniest fraction of the love and generosity they have received from God. Betty passed away peaceful the same year we returned to Brazil. She continues to be alive in our soul. I think about her always, especially when we serve in the streets now.

I think I have said enough about the unruly newcomers in the streets in the past few weeks. Suffice to say that they are like the characters from William Golding’s novel, “Lord of the Flies.” It might sound like I exaggerating but I actually might be understating. It does not mean that these children are worse than the previous ones. By no means this is true. They are exactly the same. They are just children hungry for something but it is not bread which they seek. They have stolen even gold chains to turn stone into bread. It appears now that the novelty is slowly wearing off and the excitement of getting away with thievery is growing old. The tempter’s lure is becoming weaker and the children are seeing the wisdom of Jesus’ answer to the devil,

“One does not live on bread alone but every word that proceeds from God.” Matthew 4:4

In the streets, there are tons of preachers screaming at the top of their voices the written word of God. The new children are within hearing distance of these people. Yet, they are untouched by the message. These are just empty words recited without compassion nor love, many times seasoned with anger and bitterness. Jesus spoke about the Living Word. It brings life and hope and can be only be encountered when Love is present. Our children need to be fed with this love so that their agitated souls could be brought to calm and peace. However, the challenge is learning how to communicate this love to them. One would think that we should be experts on this subject by now. After all, we have being doing this for almost ten years. However, anyone who claims expertise on any subject relating to human behavior does so from a distance, isolated from reality. Whenever we are faced with actual living human beings, we realize that there is no easy formula. Love cannot be reduced to a strategy. Every child is different. Every person is unique. Each one sees and understands Love differently. We need to learn the best way to communicate to them. Thankfully, we have met many Bettys in our life. They know exactly what to do in times like these. They would do the same thing that they have always done. They would serve and love quietly in the background. This is our approach; to unite ourselves with those whose lives reflect the Presence of the Living Word. We follow the footsteps of Betty.

The children and the young adults are always fascinated with art. We decided to bring some material which would teach them how to draw. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to try it. They just ignored us initially. Then one came and then another slowly approached us. Mainly because we are always there in the background. The drawing intimidates them. They asked if they could color with us. One of them who behaved like a vicious robber a few weeks ago now sits and and colors with us. Each day when we arrive, she asks us to sit with her so that she could color. She never says a word but every time we can see that she enjoys being with us. Then, there is Henrick. I have to say this teenager is quite annoying. He likes to whine in the most irritating manner, not a very likable character. To my surprise, he sat next to me and asked if he could try drawing. We have known this boy for almost five years and he never took an interest in us. I taught him how to do it. I am not an artist by no means but I am getting better at following instructions. He drew a face of a bulldog. It looked more like one which had suffered massive head injuries but it didn’t matter. He did it. Then he asked me if he could draw something else on the condition that I help him. He did not want to do it alone. Then as he was drawing, he shared a story. He shared the story of Job with me. He said that he heard it in a rap music. He found it meaningful that Job did not turn against God despite all the pain and suffering. He shared about his family and it was obvious he suffers deeply from his mother’s rejection of him. After he completed his drawing, he said that he felt spiritually recharged. It was like being in a retreat, he said. He came back several times to thank me for the time together. He is not as annoying as I thought he was, well maybe a little less, but I like him now.

We are going through a lot of drama in the streets now. However, there is never a lack of drama in life especially in churches and politics. In the midst of all these Jesus beckons us to be united in Love; a unity which is sadly lacking in many churches. Nevertheless, in every parish whether big or small, there are people like Betty working in the background. Sometimes, smaller churches are blessed with more than their fair share of these people. These saints never changed what they are doing no matter what happens in the world around. Scandals come and go. Disagreeable people eventually leave. The “Bettys” of this world remain in the background to show love and care to everyone they meet. I am grateful that I have met enough of these saints to know that the unity which Jesus prayed about is not unity in a general manner but being joined together with the spirit of these saints who display God’s love no matter what happens. Their love brings peace and tranquility to the hearts of those whom they touch. They feed hungry souls who are seeking for than the bread this world offers. If you know a Betty in your parish, give her a hug for us. Let her know that her example is helping us to become better servants to these lost and hungry children. Her example and life is instrumental in any ministry done in the Name of the gospel.

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Trying Not to be a Fool

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. John 14:26-27

Sometimes he can be charming but most of the time he tends to be annoying although not in an offensive way. I was very much like him at his age. Gabriel is not new to the streets. He showed up just before the Pandemic started. He was ten then. No one knows anything about him. We do not know if he came from a neglected home or an orphanage. He is kind of a mischievous kid who is either high from sniffing paint thinner or playing the fool. Most likely it is his way of dealing with his harsh reality. He decided to plant himself between Josiel and myself which irritated us to say the least. Josiel had a hard week and he was in the middle of sharing something important and then Gabriel disrupted the momentum of the conversation for no apparent reason except perhaps his extreme neediness.

Josiel is one of the youths who decided on his own to abandon criminality. He has been in the streets since he was a child but most of it was spent in the juvenile detention center. We always thought that he was one of the youths deeply ingrained in crime. Therefore, we were pleasantly surprised when he approached us for help to buy one of those delivery bags, to be frank, I am not sure what they are called. They look like a huge thermal box with straps. He had registered online with a food delivery company. He had a bicycle but needed the delivery bag. It was quite costly. Naturally, we offered our aid. The older teens are aware that we are here to help them even financially if they want to make good and healthy life choices. However, we were not sure how it was going to work out because it was the first time for him to do something as such. As we all know, it is not always easy to do something new. He proved us wrong. He got into his work without any problems. He showed me the amount of money he had earned. He gets paid according to the number of deliveries. He was ecstatic. He said that he was feeling so much better and happier than he did not need to resort to crime for anything.

Unfortunately, someone (not from the streets) stole his bicycle and to add insult to injury, his debit card was stolen along with all his savings. This was such a blow and we were worried that he might get discouraged and go back to crime. This was exactly what he thought about doing, he said. He felt it was pointless to walk the straight and narrow and was almost on the brink of giving up when he said “No!”. He was going to choose life.
He rented a bicycle using an app and started delivering food again. He confessed that his bicycle was bought with money from crime. Now, he is given a chance to start with a clean slate. He is going to save and buy a new bicycle with honest money and not allow anything from his criminal past to move forward with him into the future. We were quite proud of him. It showed much maturity on his part.

He was about to open up about his mother suffering domestic violence when Gabriel got in the middle of us. As if this wasn’t enough, the young boy kept staring at my ear in a bizarre manner which was extremely distracting and annoying. Finally I had to stop Josiel and ask Gabriel what he was doing. He wanted to know if my earrings were gold. In the streets, this is generally a rude question. It usually is taken as threat to steal. I asked Gabriel why this was important. He responded by saying that if it was gold, he was going to steal it from me. I asked him to leave us because he was being disrespectful. Josiel added that it wasn’t the way to speak to us. Nevertheless, Gabriel was defiant and walked away angrily, making some rude comments.

“For though I am not splenitive and rash, yet have I in me something dangerous, which let thy wisdom fear.” William Shakespeare, Hamlet

I was truly unsettled by this sudden turn of events and even Josiah noticed it. Gabriel’s disrespectfulness quickened something in me that I would rather be dormant. Witnessing people getting robbed constantly wears us emotionally and spiritually. It saddens our souls to see that we are living in such demonic times. This is not to suggest that there are strange and sinister non-material beings wandering around causing mayhem. I refer to our Lord’s definition to what I consider as demonic activity.

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Matthew 16:23

The world becomes more demonic when everyone acts according to what they deem as right in their own eyes. The new group of children believe that it is right for them to steal from unsuspecting victims. They have a way of justifying their vile actions. The police believe that hard brutal violence resolves everything. They justify their corrupt behavior. The people think that harsh prison and death penalty is the way to go. They have a means of justifying their self righteousness. Everyone operates on their own privatized moral codes without realizing that they are succumbing to the seductive charms of the devil. Peter thought he was saying a good thing to Jesus. In reality, he was just acting according to his base human desires.

It would be foolish of me to think that I am immune from this environment. There are demonic voices constantly enticing us to join in their chorus of hatred and rejection in this world. Gabriel’s actions stirred something within me. They opened a floodgates of unwholesome thoughts. They made me sad.

As I was on my way home, I met Wallace. He has begging outside a store. He has been selling mineral water for weeks to survive but we are presently experiencing unseasonal cold weather. Consequently, no one is craving icy cold mineral water in the streets. For Wallace, this is a loss of income and he decided to beg for money to buy food. I stopped and talked with him and told him what had happened. He said that Gabriel is being influenced by these new batch of children. Furthermore, he said, in the streets, you need to guard yourself from these influences if not they will lead into a path of self destruction. These are wise words. They are valid even for me. I got Wallace something to eat and we hugged and said goodbye. I pondered upon his words as I made my way home.

In this world, the demonic voices scream and shout at us, beckoning us to follow their lead. Sometimes they are very convincing in their arguments if we buy into their philosophy. To be unaware of this diabolic presence would be foolishness. On the hand, having a caricatural image of demons devised by popular and superstitious notions doesn’t help. These demons are not from without, they are present when we look into the mirror. They are pining to be released from the depth of our being. We can give in to them by feeding them with the lies which we hear and hatred that lies dormant in our hearts. Each time we dehumanize people with unflattering labels, we are strengthening this sinister presence in us. Gabriel is just a little kid lost in this world. Sometimes it is hard to see the real state of things. This is why Jesus sent us an Advocate. However, He can only help us if we listen to Him. Today He spoke to me through Wallace.

The next day when we arrived at the street, we saw Gabriel siting on a bench waiting. He ran up to us and asked us to forgive him. It brought such joy to my heart. He was trying to explain that he would never do anything to hurt us. I stopped him. I told him that it was unnecessary. Apparently, he had spent the night listening to the Advocate too. We hugged him. He wanted to color something with us. It was freezing cold. Not the best day to sit in the open and color while the strong cold winds were trying to convince us otherwise. I told him that we can play a game when it is warmer. It was enough to convince him that he was truly forgiven. It was enough to convince me that the Advocate is going to guide us as we walk into territories where angels fear to thread. There is only one voice we need to heed. He speaks quietly in this world of loud and obnoxious demons. We just need to be more attentive.

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Nowhere Children

Little children, I am with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come.’ I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13: 33-35

We have been doing this ministry for some time now. We have accompanied a generation of homeless children who arrived in the streets in their prepubescent years and now they are in their early adulthood. We have seen and experienced many facets in the lives of the homeless youth. Therefore, we should be used to the many changes which occur in this unpredictable environment. Nevertheless, there are things which still disturb our souls. The presence of a new immigration of children, their numbers are growing by the day, is quite distressing. For some reason, they appear younger than their previous counterparts. Maybe we are older now and everyone seems young. This new group is from the state orphanages. We casually asked one of the older teens if these places were truly terrible. She replied that some places were quite pleasant. They do not always stay in the same place. They are transferred frequently. Besides this, they are only allowed to stay in the state orphanage until they turn 18. Once this happens, they are asked to leave. The State believes that its responsibility ends when they become officially adults. The fact that they are orphans from impoverished backgrounds never seems to alter this decision. Apparently, there are many who have a family member or so who will take them into their homes. For the others, they come here to the center of the city and call the streets their home.

This is another example of society’s superficial acts of charity. We live in a country where the social disparity is appalling. The rich are extremely rich and the poor are very poor. The children in the orphanages are the most vulnerable ones from poorest of the poor. In many cases, it is the State which removes the children from the parents’ custody and more often than not for good reasons. However, sending them back as soon as they turn 18 without any assistance nor guidance borders on cruelty. These are children whom no one wants. This has been communicated to them from very first years of their lives. When they officially become adults, they are expected to find their place in this world. Most of the children do not wait for this time. They can not handle another rejection in their lives. They run away from these orphanages. They have no where to go and the streets in the center where we minister is where people who have nowhere to go end up.

We sit in our usual place and wait for them. Those who have accompanied us over the years will have noticed how frequently we use the “wait” in our reflection. It is all about waiting. The children are all around us but they do not notice us. Something else has taken hold of their attention. It is really nothing important. It is just that everyone is trying to assert their presence. The only way they know how to do this is through crime. At least, this is the only thing they have been exposed to since young. We offer something different. Unfortunately, everyone is too busy to notice us. It is okay. It gives us a chance to quietly observe them.

A boy took out a stack of hundred dollar bills from his pocket. He is too young to have that kind of money and I doubt he understand its value. It will be gone tomorrow and he won’t remember how he spent it. Unfortunately, even in his circumstance, he knows that wealth is a sure way to be noticed so he flashes his money around. Sadly, he has become a master in the act of stealing gold chains. He was like the Dickensian artful dodger. All the other little guys look at him with admiration. This boy himself looks like he is hardly ten. It is heartbreaking to see him behave this way. Just the other day he smiled at us. It is obvious that he wants to be seen in a different light. He watches us every now and then. He hasn’t made the step to approach us. He has an image to protect for now, I suppose.

A group of unfortunate tourists came around the corner. Immediately, all these kids pounced upon them like a pack of wolves. We have not seen this happening for a long time. A young teenage girl put her arm around a young female tourist to subdue her so that she could steal something from this poor victim. Fortunately, she was able to break free from the hold and escape. Nothing was stolen from them except perhaps their dignity. Maybe they will a frightening story to relate when they go back to Europe. The incident created excitement once again. An outsider watching this incident would think that these children are like little monsters. I won’t blame anyone for thinking this way. The children seemed to be oblivious to the pain and suffering of others. They were not always like that. They have been subjected to much pain and suffering in their young lives and no one was around to show love and compassion to them. They are not asking for our sympathy. They are just living out what life has taught them until now.

A young girl came and asked if she could colour with us. She is part of the group but she is a little older. We found out that she was one of those who was turned out when she turned 18. She knew these children when they were in the orphanages together. We have been observing her. She put forth a tough and intimidating front. However, when she sat with us, she was an entirely different person. She had nice friendly smile and she was very open to us. Her name is Isabelle. We haven’t heard that name in the streets for a long time. Sounds like a name that would be common but we have only met one other girl with that name in the streets, albeit spelled with a slight variation. Her name was Isabela. She was tough like this girl. Hardly spoke to us initially and then approached us because she wanted to do some art. Eventually we become close. She left when she got pregnant and was determined to give her child something different. She has been away from the streets for more than five years. We shared her story with this new girl. She smiled and told us that she is not going to get pregnant ever. She doesn’t want to have children. They are too much responsibility. We told her that we don’t any kids too. She smiled and said, “Then you can adopt me!” It was a joke and at the same time it wasn’t. We heard some of children and teens say this to us several times in our time here. Most of them are the ones who come from the orphanages. All these children at one point hoped to be adopted and grow up in a stable loving environment. When that dream faded away and reality set in, they hardened their hearts. Isabelle stayed with us for a while and coloured. She told us about herself but most of the time, she was just quiet. She did not finish her colouring. She promised that she will finish next time. We told her that we will be here.

The next day, the same scenery and the same waiting for someone to approach. This time it was the girl who grabbed the neck of the poor tourist. It was quite unexpected. She walked up and asked if she could sit and color with us. Her name is Giovanna. She did not say much and we did not want to overwhelm her with questions. However, it was plain to see that this girl has suffered much. The boys in her group exploit her too. Life has not been kind to this girl. Yesterday, she was a monster but today we see that she is a vulnerable girl alone in this world. She did a beautiful job coloring. It was clear that she had some artistic talent. We commended her on her work. She gave a timid smile. It was clear that she appreciated it. She did not want to finish it. She told us that she will complete it the next time we are there. We told her that we will be here waiting for her.

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Being Prepared to Listen

My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand. What my Father has given me is greater than all else, and no one can snatch it out of the Father’s hand. John 10:27-29

There is a strange phenomenon occurring in the streets. Well, it is strange for us but in reality it is the same cycle which has been occurring for many decades. It still perturbs our souls, regardless. On Wednesday, we sat and observed a new immigration of children to the streets. There must have been at least twenty children if not more. Many appeared to be under the age of ten years. They bear the signs that they have escaped as a group from somewhere; a veteran teen told us that they have escaped from an orphanage. I am not sure if the word “escaped” is appropriate. No one ever comes looking for them. They have just abandoned a place where they were neglected. Now they have the sense of being freed from all rules and regulations. They are unsure what to make of their newfound status. The streets are never an easy place for anyone, much less for young children. They have to prove themselves. They have decided to become relentless thieves. It has become some sort of game. After all, they are still children. They are unaware of many things. They live in an immature world where everything is play. The problem is they might not ever mature. The thrill and excitement of getting away with something is a worse addiction than any hard drugs. Many who hold much wealth and power have never overcome this pernicious vice of being able to get away with something immoral.

No one says anything to them. No one can say anything to them. They don’t respect anyone. These children are a terror for now. Thankfully, they are smart enough to leave some people alone and we are included in this group. Not that there was a lack of trying. We are still strangers to them. One of them attempted to steal something from me but immediately, the veteran teens stepped in and warned them that we are off limits. I wasn’t too offended, just a little. Nevertheless it is part of their learning process. A long time ago, there was a time a young boy just like them who stole my Uno game. Eventually, he became one of our favorite boys and we even took him to the zoo on his birthday. These children will gradually calm down but for the moment, they are a terror.

We weren’t the only ones watching these unruly newcomers. Daniel and many of the older teens were watching them too. Daniel and his brothers were just like them about 8 years ago. Daniel was a preteen when he came to live in the streets. He will be twenty in June. Just like these kids, he came in a group of twenty or more. Now, some are in prison. Some have gone home. One has gone into hiding. Many still remain in the streets. Amazingly, none from that group have passed away. We are grateful for this. Young children immigrate to the streets of the center in groups, usually after they meet in an orphanage or even in the juvenile detention center. The city center is a tough place to be alone. Our children have learned from a very young age that there is safety in numbers. I asked Daniel if he wanted to play a game. He told me that he was in a pensive mood. He has been a little serious recently.

It is not necessary to ask too many questions. Daniel communicates effectively with his body and facial expressions. He has been feeling lost and disoriented lately. Maybe the presence of these newcomers have made him realize that he is stuck in this cycle of emptiness and abandonment. Deep down inside he hears a voice beckoning him to leave it. Daniel shared once that he feels trapped and helpless and yet he knows that there is a better way. “It is strength that I lack.” He claims. Daniel told me that he can’t do much today. He needs to think.

“The wise man (sic) knows how to run his life so that contemplation is possible.” Gabriel Marcel

It is strange that we heard several people express this same sentiment from beyond the streets. We had a string of bad luck with our dentists. Almost all our previous ones have left the city or retired. Hopefully, it has nothing to do with us. Not too long ago, I walked by this old rundown building and saw a sign for dentist. The dentist was old as the building. I liked him but he had the strange habit which many dentists have. He likes to chat while stuffing all kinds of apparatus in my mouth. He shared that he was feeling a little lost and disillusioned with the way things are. He belongs to the Jewish community and plans to leave this country for Israel in a few years time. He is not far turning eighty. His intent to move is not due to his religious conviction. He said that his heart aches to see what has happening to his beloved country where he spent all his life and raised his family. It has not gotten worse. It has just never gotten better. There was a profound sadness in his voice as he said this. Soon after we left the dentist clinic as we were crossing the streets, we and a woman also crossing were almost run down by a car whose driver completely ignored our presence and existence. This is quite common today. One would think that there is a moratorium on traffic rules in this city. As usual, it is the pedestrians who suffer this lawlessness. Pedestrians always pay for the incompetence and apathy of those in power. There is lawlessness in every aspect of society and the pedestrians of life have become accustomed to it. The woman remarked with profound sadness in her voice that we are slowly slipping into hopelessness and darkness. These are not your common political conversations. Needless to say there is never a lack of people who are willing to share their political opinions and the solutions which they have figured out from the comfort of their armchairs. No. These two people shared their sadness without pretending that they have the solution. The truth is they don’t see any hope in the near or distant future. They just see a cycle of hopelessness and abandonment. This is not just a problem of the situation of the homeless children and teens. It is something everywhere and most likely it has always been there. Perhaps, the situation in streets is the reality of society reflected without its lies and falsehoods.

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of his servant, who walks in darkness and has no light, yet trusts in the name of the Lord
 and relies upon his God? But all of you are kindlers of fire, lighters of firebrands. Walk in the flame of your fire, and among the brands that you have kindled! This is what you shall have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment. Isaiah 50: 10-11

There are too many people who offer false hopes and even more who listen to them. They invite us to draw close to the fire that they have started and claim that it is the Light. Eventually, their sparks will burn and bruise our souls if we are fortunate. In most cases, they ruin our souls. However, there are some who wait for the voice of the Shepherd. These are different. They are not complaining about the way things are. They see how things are and they feel lost and abandoned. They are waiting in the darkness for a voice. However, not any voice will do. There are many who promise this or that. They distract us from the Truth. They claim to be defenders of the Truth but nothing could be further away from this. There is darkness which encompasses us. We are not exempt from it. We cannot say that we are carrying the torch to lead the children and teens away from this cycle of darkness and more darkness. We don’t hold the patent on the Shepherd’s voice. He speaks when He is ready. For now, He prepares our souls to listen. Part of this involves us not being distracted by the lies and false fires. The new batch of kids in the streets are being seduced with false sense of belonging and security. Eventually, some or maybe just one of them will be like Daniel and contemplate on the futility of it all. We have a simple role in this process. We wait in the darkness with these sheep and remind them that eventually His voice will be heard in our souls. This is our hope and joy in this world which promotes cycles of abandonment and suffering.

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Beyond Our Expectations

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” – John 20:26-29

St John the evangelist was building up to this moment.

He was the only author of the gospels to give Thomas the apostle a voice. The others just mentioned his name and nothing more. John first introduced this apostle when Jesus insisted on going back to Judea to raise Lazarus. The apostles argued that it was a dangerous move. Everyone was reluctant except Thomas.

“Let us also go, that we may die with him.” John 11:16

He was willing to follow Jesus even though he thought that the whole endeavor was bordering on suicide. On another occasion, Jesus was telling the distraught disciples about leaving to prepare a place for them. This was not enough for Thomas. He wanted to know about this place so that he could be close to Jesus.

“Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” John 14:5

Last but not least, he was the only person in all the gospels to explicitly confess that Jesus is God. While the rest of the apostles were still trying to fathom everything which was happening, Thomas was able to put two and two together. This man was someone who was serious about following Jesus.

This is the portrait John the evangelist painted of this apostle. He was a man of great faith who wanted to follow Jesus without any ambiguities. He was willing to give his all for Christ. Therefore, it is understandable that a secondhand account of the Resurrected Christ would not do for him. He was right. Our faith is too important to rest on the experience of others. It must become something real for us. We need to meet the Risen Christ ourselves. However, Thomas had doubts. They were not necessarily about the resurrection of Jesus. After all, he knew the apostles. No doubt they were his close friends. They had no reason to lie about such an important event. I believe that Thomas had the kind of doubt which most of us experience quite frequently. He wondered if he was still part of this great and wonderful thing Jesus was doing in their midst. He wanted some assurance. In his desperation, he limited how Jesus should reveal Himself. Well, in his case, it worked out. In spite of this, Jesus tells us that this is not going to be always the case. Things are not going to be so obvious.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22

This week we met a young man named Yuri. He was amazed how long we have been around here. He claimed that we knew him when he was a young boy. There was a time when Russian names were popular in Brazil. We know quite a number of “Yuris” and “Igors” and they are about the same age. This particular one I don’t recall ever meeting. Even though he got some details right, I am pretty sure that he has mistaken us for someone else. It is also very possible that my memory is failing me. Maybe this is why he was prompted to ask a follow up question: my age. I told him and he responded saying that I was as old as his grandfather. There are many ways to take this comment but sincerely I felt good about it. It reflects our journey in this place. When I first came to this ministry, we were like older siblings to most of the children. A few years later. we were assuming the role of a parent. Now, we have attained the grandparent status. It feels special and privileged to grow in this same place. It will be really special if we can reach the great-grandparent stage one day.

Bruno was sitting next to us and he asked what it was like when we first came here in nineties. It was a very different world. Needless to say, I was a very different person. I was ready to conquer the world with the help of Jesus, of course. I believed that I aspired to be the male version of Mother Theresa. I thought that I had some magic words which would convince all the homeless children to leave the streets and flock to shelters and homes. I imagined sharing “success” stories to the churches so that they would be impressed with the ministry here. There was definitely lot of ego involved, I admit. However, it was much more than that. I truly believed that I needed to see all these things happening to prove to myself that God was including me in His great plan here. Then I encountered reality and it appeared that God wasn’t cooperating with our plans. Even though I never doubted God’s power, I did end up doubting myself.

I told Bruno that there were about three to five hundred homeless children sleeping right in the spot where we were. He found that hard to believe. It is strange to hear from a homeless youth. Presently we have about a hundred children and teens sleeping in that area: a smaller number, albeit still disturbing. Back then the homeless children seemed poorer and malnourished. Almost all were addicted to crack cocaine. This is another major difference today. None of our children and teens use crack. In fact, they consider it as an insult to call someone a crack addict. Moreover, there was the Aids pandemic and a vast majority of the children were HIV positive. Many died from the disease for a lack of treatment. Violence and murder were also a common occurrence. One of our most heart-rending memories involves helping a mother retrieve the corpse of her murdered daughter from the morgue. Crime was rampant and brutal. No one could walk past the children and teens without being robbed. As I was reminiscing, I noticed a small group of curious teens gathering around to listen to my stories. I really felt like a grandfather now talking about the past. The only difference was that those weren’t the good ole days. Something has changed for the better. I have not noticed it until today.

There are many things in this world which have gone from bad to worse. Many times I have wondered why God is not doing anything concrete. Corruption has become worse. The sense of apathy is steadily growing. Strangely in the midst of all these miseries, the Risen Christ is quietly changing a situation which no one cares about. Since the time we came in the nineties until now, things have gotten better. We overlooked the things He was doing because we were blinded by own expectations. There are less homeless children and teens in the streets now. Death occurs but not at the rate as before. Crime is present but it is not as bad as before. Teenage pregnancy dropped drastically. Before almost all the girls were constantly with child. Now, this is quite rare. The children sniff paint thinner and sometimes glue but this is far better than becoming crack addicts. Most importantly, our relationship with the children and teens is more real and special than before.

In the past, we were so busy trying to treat the problems that we forgot the individual involved. Today, we have learned to see them as individuals first and listen to them as they show us how to walk with them. They have become our children and grandchildren. They have a special place in our hearts.

The Risen Christ is present in this place. I always believed it. However, there is a tendency within us to restrict His actions. We might be so keen on seeing results according to our expectations that we can miss seeing His actions among us. Worse still, we might settle for some mediocre idea of success when the Risen Christ has something far superior in store for us. Thomas did not want to settle for anything less than the Risen Christ. We can appreciate that. We want to be like Thomas in this sense. However, Jesus would like us to be open and see beyond our perceptions and expectations so that we can truly marvel at the wondrous works of our Risen Lord.

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