Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” John 20:24-25

Igor had a huge scar which ran down from his shoulder to his upper arm. He suffered a severe burn when he was eight. He was left alone in his tiny house with his younger brother. They were extremely hungry but there was no food. They found some uncooked rice and Igor decided to cook it. He did not get far. When he turned on the gas stove, his clothes got caught on fire. He spent many days in the hospital. When he was discharged, he decided to take his chance in the streets. He doesn’t remember much about his parents. His mother was brutally murdered by a complete stranger whose advances were rejected. He only has the scar to remind him of his childhood and his grandmother, who was his only source of unconditional love.

His life in the streets was one of crime. When we met him, he was about 19. He was at a turning point. His juvenile criminal records were erased permanently and now he had a chance to have a fresh start. He decided to walk the straight and narrow path. He joined a neo-pentecostal church, the religion of his family. There he was taught that he needed to leave everything behind. They said that every thing in his past was sinful and unredeemable. He had to become a brand new person. Igor tried it. He adopted the dress code of his pastors. He learn all the religious lingo and used it effortlessly. He did everything to be a new Igor but his scar was still there. He just couldn’t get rid of it. It was part of him.

His religious phase did not last long even though he did put his heart and soul into it. He just couldn’t be the new person his church wanted him to become. Igor spent his life in the streets. He constructed his identity in the streets. He returned to the streets worse than before. This is the similar pattern of many of our youth who tried the religious route. They tried to become saints but end being more lost and tormented than before. It is like the parable that Jesus taught,

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” Matthew 12:43-44

Sometime ago, we helped Igor with his documents. We were waiting in line in a bank to pay a fee when an elderly woman walked by looking lost and disoriented. Igor immediately approached her and offered his help. He guided her to the place she needed to go and made sure someone attended to her. Then he told us that it was pity that none of her family members were helping her. He knows what that feels like. He has the scars to prove it.

Igor will always occupy a special place in our hearts. He really did want to do the right thing but he had to do something about the scar. It marred his life forever. He is not the only one. Every single homeless youth in the streets carries a scar. Some bear it on their bodies like Igor but for most, it is hidden from plain view. It rests safely in their souls. It has become an integral part of their identity. It has carried them through difficult times. Sadly, it is primarily responsible for them believing that the streets is their only true home.

We first met Igor towards the end of 2013. It was a long time ago. We have changed since then.

I used to think that Thomas’ request was a little morbid. Well, I still think it is morbid but I understand better now. Perhaps, it was the homeless youth that helped me to see things a little clearer. Thomas did not want a new and improved Jesus. He wanted to see the Jesus who suffered and died on the Cross. The wounds that were inflicted on Jesus marred Thomas deeply. They devastated him. They murdered the Man who had given meaning to Thomas’ life. No one other Christ would do for Thomas except the One who was crucified. He wanted to know if this Resurrected Jesus was still the same as before. He did not want an entirely new Christ. He wanted the old but new. This is true about our homeless youth. When they saw Igor trying to be different and new, they were happy for him but it did not bring any comfort to them. Despite all his attempts, they were still able to see Igor’s scar. It still remained a reminder of abandonment and rejection. They wanted to see if something could be done about it.

Like I said before, we have changed since we first met Igor. We used to think that the best chance these youth had was to abandon everything in the streets and start afresh. This is the pragmatic approach to the problem. It negates the human element involved. It ignores the resilience of human beings to construct something in midst of ruins. The Resurrection understands this. Jesus came back with the body that bore the marks of torture and hatred. He did not avoid the painful subject of what occurred on Good Friday. Thomas did not want to put it behind him. He confronted it and saw that these wounds of rejection and hatred were still present and they have changed. They no longer represented hopelessness. They were signs of victory. Our children and teens do not want to forget their past. As powerful and horrifying as their experience might have been, it is only thing they have that truly belongs them. They want to be able to do something with it. They want something to happen that will redeem these scars that have become an integral part of their identity. The Resurrection is something new but it builds upon the old. It is not an improvement to the old. It rebuilds something new out of the ruins of the old.

Igor wanted to find a new meaning for his scar. Instead, he found a rigid religious system that required him to reject all his friends who have helped him survive in the streets. He really wanted to meet the Resurrected Christ. He wanted to put his finger in the wounds of Jesus, only then, he could be confident to know that this Christ is able to transform the worst moments of his life into something beautiful and eternal. We believe that Igor will one day meet the Resurrected Jesus. Even though he is in a bad place now, it is not worse than the Cross. Jesus overcame it and transformed the symbol of death into a sign of eternal and unconditional Love. There is nothing that can separate the Love of God from Igor. Thomas realized this when he saw Jesus’ wounds. This is why He was the first apostle to drop on his knees and confess Jesus is His Lord and His God. Only God can take an hopeless situation and create something beautiful with it. This is what our children and teens are seeking.

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she told them that he had said these things to her. John 20:18

Recently, I read a powerful story in a sermon, actually it was poem. It was recited by a survivor of the Holocaust at the Nuremberg war-crime trials. It relates the story of a group Jewish individuals hiding in a cemetery and a woman gave birth to a son there. An elderly gravedigger wrapped the infant with some dirty clothes and prayed, “Great God, hast Thou finally sent the Messiah to us? For who else than the Messiah Himself can be born in a grave?” After three days he saw the child nursing on the mother’s tears because she could no longer produce milk. *

You might be wondering why I am sharing such a tragic tale on Easter Sunday. The occasion calls for something joyous and this story seems hopeless and tragic. Well, there are several reasons for it. The main one is that Easter is a story that is born in a grave. Many of us forget what this means. I think that the above story is a good reminder.

I was also deeply impressed by the faith of the gravedigger. Despite his dire circumstances, he was able to see hope in a child born into a hopeless situation. Some might say that it is wishful thinking of a desperate person in a disheartening situation. It goes beyond wishful thinking to see a child like this as Messiah, if anything, it shows profound understanding of his reality. There are many who succumb to wishful thinking in this world; those who put their faith in humanity to resolve the problems many times they themselves have created. It is wishful thinking to think people completely alienated from pain and suffering are going to bring a kind and viable solution to the healing of those who suffer in a manner that affects their whole being; it is wishful thinking to believe all our “isms” have the solution of life’s problems. These are the wishful thinkers. The gravedigger was a realist. He knew a true Messiah must come from the grave, a place of hopelessness and despair because this is how we know that He understands the plight of humanity.

It is not surprise that the beginning of our faith begins in a tomb where death always had the final word. There were a series of events that led the women to the grave. Many bypass these events. Good Friday is not known as a day where the churches are packed. We have Christians whom we call “Christmas and Easter” Christians. Not many Good Friday ones. Most of them avoid this day. I heard people say that it is too sad. In Brazil, most Protestant churches do not have any services or reflections on Good Friday. They claim that they are all about the Resurrection. Unfortunately, one cannot understand the latter without experiencing the former. For the Easter Christians, the Resurrection only serves as a hope to be read at their funerals. Whereas when the women went to the tomb, they met the Resurrected Christ who brought Life to a place of death. They saw the words of Jesus fulfilled in the here and now when He said that the gates of hell (or hades which means place of the dead) shall not prevail against it.

The woman would have appreciated how the gravedigger felt when he saw the life of the child slowly languish. His hope must have been crushed. The women experienced the same thing at the Cross. The man whom they deeply loved was brutally taken away from them. He was reduced to a memory that would have died with them. They went to the tomb not expecting anything. They wanted to show their final act of love and devotion by giving Jesus a proper burial. One can’t imagine the pain and suffering they must have felt as they went to the tomb. The disciples could not bear it. They stayed away. These women were compelled by great love.

“We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

They responded to the love they received and it opened their eyes to see the Resurrected Christ. Many must have passed by the tomb. There were guards. None of these saw Him. Only those who sensed His love in their hearts were able to see Him.

On Good Friday, I read the Passion with Felipe. I wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out at first. He has never read the Passion before and it’s an extremely long reading. He was deeply moved by the end of it. I asked him what he thought about the suffering of Jesus. He said, “He suffered like most of us in the streets. It brings Jesus closer to us.” It makes God more all encompassing, I added.
I shared with him a conversation I had with a certain young man. He thought that it was virtually impossible for someone to have genuine Christian faith in the streets. His reasoning was that there were lots of temptations and drugs involved. In other words, Christianity is only relevant in certain circumstances, according to this man who is a Christian. I asked Felipe what he thought about this. He replied without much hesitation that it was easier to see the presence of God in the streets. Almost everyone in the streets is aware that they survive by the grace of God. He went further and stated that everything they received in the streets was because of God. However, the most important factor for Felipe was not the material providence, but the conviction in their hearts that God is constantly with them regardless of what happens to them.

At this moment, I understood why the poem about the gravedigger spoke to my soul. I am surrounded by people like him in the streets. Our children and teens share his spirituality. They are able to see beyond their dire situation. They have been abused and neglected in their homes. In the streets, they are faced with constant disdain and violence at the hands of authorities. They have every reason to believe that God has abandoned them. The streets is very much like a living cemetery. The children and teens escape to this place because they know no one will come looking for them there. It is the final stop before death for them. Even so, it is the place where they discover hope for life. The Resurrected Christ always comes forth from the place of death.

This hope is not to be confused with hope for a better material life. Nor is it a hope that maybe one day they will have a home. Felipe never imagined that he would have a family nor a home. He once believed that he was going to homeless for the rest of his life. Nonetheless when we met him in his mid teens, he was one of the youths with the strongest faith. He had hope for Life. If someone asked him or the other youths to explain this hope, they would be at a loss. It goes beyond any worldly concept. They can’t express it in words.

The women at the empty tomb could not explain it as well. All they could do was to testify that Jesus has risen. They went to the tomb thinking all was lost and then they found something new. It wasn’t going to restore life as it was before. It transformed everything. It brought them from the state of sorrow to one of perplexity. There was something new for them in the here and now. There was a new way of living their lives. The Resurrection was not about the afterlife for these women. It would have been if they saw a ghost. They saw Jesus in flesh and blood. He was alive. It changed everything but they could not really tell what has changed. The best thing they could do was to share with the others.

The women went to the disciples to share with them what they saw. It was the only thing they could do and it is only thing anyone could do. The Resurrection is not an argument we can convince someone of nor it is something we can prove empirically. The Resurrected Christ is someone we have to meet. The best we can do is to follow the example of these women and share our encounter with Him. The disciples were given a chance to go back to the tomb but not to look for the dead. They took their eyes from the situation and looked to the new possibilities that the Resurrection has afforded to them. Now, we can boldly go to the cemeteries of this world and hope to meet the Resurrected Christ. He always rises out of situations and circumstances where death and despair reigns. He has overcome them. He has risen to invite us to be part of something new and different in this life, in this reality. He has risen for this Life.

*This story is found in a sermon by Paul Tillich called, “Born in the Grave.”

Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.” Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?” John18:36-38

“ The Human Condition is the Passion of Christ.” – Clarice Lispector, The Passion according to G.H.

In Brazil, many talented artists in the past come from the poorest of poor. Most of their songs, as popular as they were at one time, are forgotten. However, the ones that linger touch on suffering and pain. These are the ones that most people can identify with. One in particular the artist mentions that he was born to suffer while others laugh in joy. It sounds tragic, devastating, and painful to hear. However, it is the reality of many in this world. It is something our children and teens have accepted as their reality. They have accepted some things which you and I might feel indignant about and we are justified for feeling this way. They accept the fact of being mistreated and exploited in their jobs, of being always treated with suspicion when enter certain stores, humiliated by the law enforcement, and always treated as third class citizens. All these things Jesus faced and experienced on the Cross. For many in this world, this is their way of life. Our children and teens have accepted this as the norm. We cannot say that they are wrong. From the way things are going, life is going to be harder for everyone and much worse for them. They did not ask for this life. It was given to them. Jesus, on the other hand, deliberately chose to be with these little ones. His death on the Cross was His final participation with people whose lives are a constant cycle of torment and humiliation and sometimes unjust painful death. Jesus became one of these little ones. He suffered and died like them. Therefore, in order to understand the Cross better, we have to acknowledge the pain and suffering of these little ones, too.

We are living in a tragic moment in this city. Last month more than 65 thousand people died from the Pandemic. The death rate keep rising. The slow and inefficient vaccination program and apathetic attitude of the major authorities have the people here feeling lost, abandoned and hopeless. We are not excluded from these sentiments. In a strange way, it has brought us closer to the Cross.
It has brought in touch with the human condition of many in this world, not just being aware of their suffering, but participating in it. At this moment, we have some expectations. These can transform us or drive us deeper into the abyss of hopelessness.

The people who demanded the crucifixion of our Lord once trusted Him. They trusted Him to be their Christ, their Saviour. However, they were expecting a kind of superhero who would come down and kill all the enemies and established a divine order according to how they believed things should be organized. However, God is not a servant of our expectations. Instead, He came to expose the true condition of our humanity. We create whatever illusions we want to have about our lives. The Cross will always expose the Truth about our humanity. Our human condition is such that we are a people who tortured, as well as, are tortured. We are the oppressors and the oppressed. There is not much beauty and hope in us as human beings. It is not a pessimistic or misanthropic view of humanity. It is the perspective of the Cross. The scene is unsightly. All the beauty which we have been proud of is reduced to rubble at the Cross. This is not a bad thing. It is actually something wonderful. We have to reduce to nothing so that something new can come forth.

In the moment of pain and suffering, Jesus reaffirms His true vocation, which is to establish the Truth. He did not come to make things better. He came to establish the Truth and the first task and most essential task is to destroy the foundation of lies upon which we build our lives. This is why it was indispensable that at the Cross we see humanity in its true form and contradictions. The Truth that Jesus reveals creates something new. It is necessary to tear down the old to contract the new. The Cross is like the story of the Tower of Babel told from a redemptive perspective. Instead of separating the people, there is a Truth that reconciles and builds something new forever connecting us with God. Pilate asked, “What is the truth?” He was expecting a doctrine or a philosophy. However, Truth is a person. We cannot explain a person to someone. We have to meet Him personally to know Him. Many seek for Truth and some have given up. Some think that it is pointless. There are some who are puzzled. They know that there is an answer for the nagging question in their soul. Like Pilate, they ask the same question, “What is the truth?” There is no shortcut to knowing the answer. However, it is not possible to receive the Truth bypassing the Cross. If we are serious about the Truth, then the Holy Spirit will bring us to the Cross. The journey might be painful and lonely. It may destroy everything that we thought was precious and beautiful. It will make us realize like St Paul that everything before the Cross is dung. However, one thing is important for us to know. Jesus on the Cross does not mean that we can bypass it. He invites us to join Him. If we accept this invitation, then we know what to expect.

Disse Jesus: “O meu Reino não é deste mundo. Se fosse, os meus servos lutariam para impedir que os judeus me prendessem. Mas agora o meu Reino não é daqui”. “Então, você é rei!”, disse Pilatos. Jesus respondeu: “Tu dizes que sou rei. De fato, por esta razão nasci e para isto vim ao mundo: para testemunhar da verdade. Todos os que são da verdade me ouvem”. “Que é a verdade?”, perguntou Pilatos. – João 18: 36-38

Estamos aqui novamente aos pés da Cruz de Jesus. Este ano não é como os anos anteriores. Antes, precisávamos de um pouco mais de esforço para imaginar o abandono e a desesperança de Jesus na cruz. No ano passado, no início da pandemia, celebramos a Semana Santa sem pensar muito na nossa situação. Tudo era novo então. Nunca vivemos em uma época em que o mundo parou ao mesmo tempo. Foi interessante, misterioso, até mesmo fascinante. Porém, agora depois de tantas mortes, nos deparamos com uma realidade feia e grotesca onde a crueldade e a apatia dos seres humanos parecem não ter limites, como o que aconteceu na Cruz.

Jesus nasceu para sofrer. Ele morreu como a maioria dos seres humanos neste mundo; como a maioria dos que estão morrendo entubados em hospitais neste momento. Ele morreu indefeso e humilhado. Ele morreu de uma maneira feia porque a morte é feia.

Que decepção! Eles esperavam um salvador que fosse uma espécie de super-herói. Queriam que ele resolvesse todos os nossos problemas e colocasse em ordem o caos em que vivemos. É claro tudo de acordo com o que imaginamos a ordem. Eles, não são eles não, somos nós que criamos um messias de acordo com nossa vontade. No entanto, Deus exige sua independência. Ele queria ser humano, mais humano do que nós queremos ser.

“A condição humana é a paixão de Cristo”. – Clarice Lispector, A Paixão Segundo G.H.

Clarice Lispector, em uma de suas maiores obras, escreveu que a beleza é perfeita. Ela não precisa de nós. Ela é perfeita em si. Ela nos convida a valorizar sua beleza mas nunca faremos parte dela. Apenas somos espectadores. Ela não precisa de nossa participação. Ela têm sua própria identidade. Além disso, somos feios em comparação. Somos seres incompletos, sem identidade. Somos a matéria-primas prontos para ser transformados em algo bonito. Queremos a beleza, mas não queremos sofrer por ela. A beleza exige muito sofrimento. O sofrimento nos proporciona nossa identidade. Queremos contornar isso. Inventamos uma ilusão aonde atingimos a beleza sem pagar o preço de sofrimento. Odiamos qualquer um que tente desfazê-la. Infelizmente, o Cristo queria ser mais humano do que nós. Ele viveu como muitas pessoas que não podem se dar ao luxo de criar sua ilusão de beleza. Vivemos um momento aonde não podemos mais fingir que as coisas são boas. Estamos isolados, esquecidos, e abandonados como muitos viviam antes da Pandemia. Agora, percebemos nossa realidade. Ela é a paixão de Cristo.

Jesus nos disse que nasceu para revelar a verdade. Para que serve a verdade, então? Absolutamente nada para pessoas que fazem esse tipo de pergunta. A verdade não lhes daria nada de valor. Portanto, vemos que muitos preferem a mentira. Eles podem fazer muito mais com ela até mesmo alcançar muito sucesso. No entanto, jamais diríamos que eles alcançaram algo belo com isso. Eles acabam levando uma vida inferior à humana, mas não como um animal. Pelo menos, eles vivam sua verdadeira natureza.

Infelizmente, Jesus nunca respondeu a Pilatos: “Qual é a verdade?” Queremos uma resposta pronta e fácil de entender. Procuramos em muitos lugares e sempre acabamos decepcionados. Alguns decidiram continuar a viver sem ela. Outros pensam que são os donos da verdade. Há alguns que não podem negar a persistência na suas almas de que há algo maior e mais profundo nesta vida, ou seja, o que dá sentido à vida. Pilatos talvez fosse essa categoria de pessoas. Mesmo assim, Jesus não respondeu. Não era necessário. Ele é a verdade mas como Pilatos podia aceitar isso? O homem que perdeu tudo na cruz era a verdade que a humanidade queria conhecer. Esta verdade poderia desmoronar o mundo que ele conhecia.

Parece que nosso mundo está desmoronando. A verdade está desconstruindo nossas mentiras. Tudo o que vemos agora é o caos. Portanto, precisamos de muita coragem para caminhar entre os escombros de nossas mentiras e enfrentar a verdade. Muitos querem resgatar dos escombros e reconstruir novas mentiras. No entanto, a reforma não é suficiente. Precisamos de algo novo. Precisamos da verdade em nossas vidas, mas Jesus ainda não nos respondeu. “Qual é a verdade?” A resposta não pode ser dada em palavras. Ela é um encontro. Algo que acontece em nosso âmago. Certamente não é algo emocional ou racional. É tudo de que precisamos saber que nossa vida terá a forma e a beleza que tanto desejamos, apesar de nosso sofrimento

Ao pé da cruz estava um soldado que conheceu todos os tipos de violência neste mundo. Ele lutou com homens que o mundo considerava grandes e poderosos. Ao pé da cruz, ele descobriu a verdade que havia procurado por tanto tempo. Ele sentiu algo inexplicável em sua alma. Ele confessou: “Ele realmente era um Filho de Deus.” O amor tomou conta do coração desse homem e abriu seus olhos para ver a Verdade. Talvez seja bom lembrar que sem amor não podemos descobrir a verdade. Provavelmente, o amor nos dará a força para descobrir a verdade neste tempo da cruz.

While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly. “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” Mark 14:3-6

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a complete stranger to stop us and share an unsolicited opinion with us. Most of the time, it is preceded with the phrase, “You are wasting your time, not to mention money! Our hard earned-money!” They always assume that their tax money is paying us to be with the children. To make matters worse, it doesn’t end there. It is followed by a long and tedious diatribe on how to solve the problem of homelessness. The best thing to do is ignore these people which is what we do most of the time. Besides, I am always at a loss on how to respond. A quick look around the place, you can see bars full of men in business suits drinking away with their eyes on a soccer game on a big screen TV. There are young men spending hours skate boarding even though it’s obvious that none of them will ever be professionals in this lifetime. There are people gathered around a street magician performing mediocre magic tricks. Not far from them, a bunch of taxi drivers sitting around doing absolutely nothing but at the same time complaining how society is made up of lazy people. One thing we have common is that all of us waste our time one or another. Somehow, it irked our random passerby that we were doing it with the homeless youth. Yet still, I don’t know how to respond because he is right. We do waste precious time with these youth.

We cannot honestly say that the things we do will eventually help our teens out of homelessness. We spend hours talking about movies with Bruno. He might gain knowledge about all the great movie classics but it is not going to guarantee him a shelter nor a job in the future. Felipe talks about the planets and the distant stars that he discovering through his personal research. Despite his growing knowledge of astronomy, he still is a squatter in an abandoned storage space with his family of five. His growing knowledge is not going to change this. We play games with Daniel and Guilherme who have few interests. They have never been to school for more than a year in their lives.

On another occasion, a nicer and kinder person asked me why I don’t do anything concrete like open a shelter or set up a feeding program. It sounded reasonable. It made me feel a little embarrassed to say that we don’t do these things. On the hand, we rather like doing what we do. We find it to be very productive, much more than if we were to ran shelter or set up a soup kitchen. Perhaps a pragmatic person will fail to understand. They might stand with the disciples and say we are wasting precious resources that could be used to help others in need. Thankfully, Jesus seemed to understand. He defended another wasteful person. He even said that she was doing something beautiful.

Many would have seen the whole triumphant entrance into Jerusalem as a complete waste of time. Apparently, the religious authorities of His time were of this opinion. All the ruckus was for nothing. Jesus did not overthrow the oppressing rulers. He did not change the corrupt religious system in place. Even the same people who cheered Jesus on would later betray Him. It would seem like a wasted event for the people and leaders of Jesus’ time. However, its significance still remains alive till today in hearts and minds of millions through the liturgy. This seemingly meaningless event opened up a door for us to participate in welcoming the humble King who enters our hearts and soul triumphantly. Its significance has transcended time and space.

Palm Sunday leads us to the Passion. Another example where the life of God incarnate is wasted on the Cross. He could have changed the whole scenario if He wanted. There were people ready to do battle for Him. He just had to say the word. Instead He wasted all these opportunities by being silent. Instead, He wasted Himself on the Cross. This does seem like foolishness if we were solely pragmatic in our spirituality. Perhaps, these people may have a hard time with the way God does things in this world. They want a God who is useful to them. However, Jesus revealed a different God to them. As John puts it plainly, Jesus showed us that God is Love. Love is wasteful. It is extravagant. We cannot love if we are not willing to waste our time and energy, no matter how precious they appear to us.

Not all wasteful actions are founded on love. Not all have the same weight. One thing is for sure we are constantly wasting things, time and energy. The woman could have used the perfume for herself and no one would have accused her of wasting anything. They would say that it is her money and she has the right do it. However, her love prompted her to anoint Jesus’ head with it. It is strange that the disciples never criticized her for her actions. It appears to be an extremely sensual act. They were not bothered by it. They were more bothered about the loss of money. Just like the random passerby who complained that we were wasting our time. He thought that the tax payers money was being wasted on useless activities with these homeless children. He was consumed by his pragmatic convictions and he failed to enquire who we were nor the names of the children. There was an absence of love in his concern. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t genuine. The disciples were disturbed by the waste of money but they failed to sense the anxiety in their master. Incidentally, He reminded them countless times that He was going to die a horrible death. The woman felt the urge to defend her actions. She was almost oblivious to the negative opinions generating around her. Love does this. Perhaps, most of us don’t realize how much time and energy we waste with the ones we love because our hearts are consumed with Love. We cannot love without wasting. We don’t even consider it waste anymore because it expresses how important our Beloved is to us.

During this Pandemic, one of the things we greatly miss is wasting time with our children and teens. Even when I met Daniel recently, he told me that he wants things to go back to when we could all be sitting together and play a game of Uno. I could give them a pack of Uno game easily. However, this wasn’t what he was saying. I did give a game before. They never played it. He wants us to be with him. He understands that the time we spend with him, perhaps doing the most useless thing, is our way of saying that he is important and special to us. He missed that and we missed it. However, we are still given the chance to waste despite these strange times. We want to make sure that we do it without restraint. We want to be as wasteful as we want to be with our youth because we just don’t know what the future holds for us. Perhaps it might be our last chance to be wasteful with them.

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.” John 12:20-23

Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. John 12:27

There was a time when I would not have paid made much attention to these words. However, times have changed and now they caught my attention almost immediately. Just like that, they became extremely relevant to us. They present us with questions and demand that they should think carefully of the answers.

It was the Greek-speaking Jews who started this conversation. Jesus’ fame had reached their foreign shores. They were eager to meet Him. Apparently, His message was welcomed in their lands. Most of us would have thought this was good news. Jesus was getting the necessary publicity. However, Jesus responded in a most bizarre manner. I used to think that some passages made Jesus seemed a little aloof. He did not even address the presence of these men. Instead, He spoke about His imminent death. For some strange reason, it has become clearer to me now. Jesus was not avoiding the issue. He was directly confronting it. This new opportunity was a temptation. It meant that Jesus did not need to be restricted to Jerusalem. There were places with safer options available to Him. He responded clearly that He was going to stay on course even though it brought much anguish to His soul.

This time last year I read a book, “The Plague” by Albert Camus. I have read it before. I knew that it was about a city in quarantine. I thought perhaps it would give some insights as we began our own quarantine. Camus, an atheist, was deeply intrigued by the ambiguity of our human nature especially of its spiritual nature. All the characters were atheists except for a much loved Roman Catholic priest. They were forced to deal with tough questions about their own mortality in a time of utter chaos and abandonment. One character in particular, Raymond Rambert, a journalist, who by misfortune, found himself to be trapped in the city days before it was sealed off from the outside world. He had a girlfriend waiting on the outside and decided that he would risk fleeing the city in order to be with her. Everyone including the town’s doctor encouraged him to do it. They thought that love was worth the risk. He bribed the necessary authorities to accomplish his plan. After several unsuccessful attempts, the day finally came when all the necessary factors were in place. It was a perfect day for his flight. At the final moment, he desisted from the whole endeavor. He couldn’t do it. He realized that he was part of the plague ridden town. He could not leave the people behind. He concluded that it was impossible for to find private happiness while others were still suffering.

It was definitely one of the most spiritual books I have read recently. Maybe it even helped me comprehend the words of Jesus in the gospel text above. We tend to interpret these words in the light of our doctrines. We often talk about his sacrificial death for the atonement of our sins. As powerful as these concepts are, they strip Jesus of his humanity. His actions were not to fulfill a doctrinal requirement. They were acts of love directed specifically to a group of people whom He loved dearly. Jesus loved the people whom He healed and taught. They had become a pivotal part of His life. He was not going to abandon them because His fame was able to carry Him to a different and safer venue. He was their Messiah, no matter what it entailed. The people had come to trust Him. Maybe there wasn’t many. We know for sure that the twelve apostles including the one who betrayed Him were precious to Him. There were the women who faithfully kept Him accompanied and supported Him with their means. These people became the fabric of His earthly existence. They had become one with Him. He could not leave them now when things had taken a darker turn. The option was there for Him and with it, a price tag. Jesus refused it. He took the risk and gained something much more valuable and precious.

This is our third venture into Brazil. My first time, I was young enough to imagine that I could change the world. There was a little bit of a messianic complex. It didn’t take long for reality to grab hold of me. I realized things were too complex and ambiguous for any easy solutions that my mind conjured up. I discarded my illusions of grandeur and focused on the homeless youth instead. I realized that despite our limitations, we loved our time with the children. Unfortunately, our failure to meet the necessary visa requirements forced us to leave. Five years later, we returned to Brazil for the second time. I was ordained and had a parish. I thought that I could create a bridge between the church and the homeless community. Perhaps I was a little idealistic and the bridge was never built. I served out my time as a parish priest and then we decided to pack it up and call it quits. We left on our own accord this time. Then about five years later, we were back. Many things have changed. I have been ordained for a while. I have worked in different parishes. I was much older and wise enough to know my limitations and capabilities. There were no projects or visions of grandeur, just an open heart and mind. We just wanted to serve the homeless youth. We realized that we sensed the presence of Christ clearly when we served among these abandoned youth. We felt strongly that God could use us in their lives if only we allowed Him to show us what He was doing in their midst. We spent our years here listening, watching, and, of course, praying. We saw God in their lives. Our lives were so enriched by this encounter that we were able to share this wealth with people thousands of miles away from here. We allowed the youth to show us how to be part of their lives. They opened their hearts to us. They became part of us and we became part of their lives. We did not need to become their messiah nor an innovative church-planters. We just needed to be ourselves and enjoy God’s presence in the midst of these abandoned young people.

Then came the Pandemic. We were thrust into the unknown. It has been a year. The rest of the world is on the road to recovery. Unfortunately, we are slipping into utter chaos here. For the first time in a long time, we cannot imagine what the future is going to be like. We see signs that are not very encouraging. Therefore, we decided to stop thinking about it. We have the present with us which comes with an option to leave. I am sure that a simple phone call could get us out of here. We would be safe. I am not sure if we would be happy. We belong here. This is where God has prepared a place for us. Many may not understand this. Some might say that safety is the main issue. Well, we tried to establish ourselves here on three different occasions and finally we found our place. Despite the dire state of affairs, there is something valuable here beyond our private happiness. It is too precious for us to abandon. It is like finding the treasure that I have been seeking all my life. Now, we just can’t leave.

Bruno shared a very simple and common childhood experience he had this week. Once when he was ten years old, he wanted to become the president. I am sure many people harbored this fantasy during their childhood. I remember telling my parents about it; they burst out laughing. I wasn’t crushed but I developed a sense of humor. I listened to Bruno’s story and how he discovered that this was an impossible dream. To be honest, I did not pay too much attention to it. It is a common childhood fantasy. However, before I left, he pulled me aside and said, “I hope that you believed my story. It is the truth.” I told him that I had no reason to doubt him. I realized that it was important for him that I believed him. I realized that Bruno never had the chance of sharing this childhood fantasy with his family or father. He never met his father and he grew up in a crowded orphanage. He was sharing a simple story but he wanted me to know that once he had dreams and hopes just like any other child. He has given me something special. He feels comfortable enough to share his childhood dreams with us.

This is why God has brought us here. This is our place.

And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. John 3:14

Thirty people died while waiting to be attended in the hospital on Thursday. On Friday, Covid claimed one life every 4 minutes in this city. Just a few days prior to this, on my way home from the streets, I walked by an area where there were bars and saw hundreds of young people drinking and partying. No one seems to be concerned. We have been having the highest number of deaths these past few weeks. The hospitals are almost fully occupied. We hear daily news of young people dying from the new variant of this dreadful virus. None of these things have hindered people from flirting with death. This is because Life has very little value here.

This is not just my observation. A local doctor known for his work among the prison population shared this in a recent interview. He was essential figure in changing the fate of many during the Aids pandemic in the eighties. He lamented that nothing has changed over the years. Lack of empathy was present then and is still prevalent now. Perhaps, this year all things hidden are accentuated. We are in the worst possible times but no one seems to care. They did not care when they saw children and families sleeping in the streets. They did not care when a homeless man recently walked into a restaurant to ask for help. Everyone ignored him as he laid there in pain and slowly died. Not a single soul called for help. Now, this attitude of indifference is coming around and hardening the hearts of people in regards to their own lives and welfare. An ethical life is not living one’s life for the benefit of others. It is about recognizing and valuing the importance of Life.

Today the streets are almost empty. The local government threatened to impose a fine if the businesses did not cut down their operating hours. I found the children and teens in the same spot, near the Asian grocery stores. Daniel was sitting with William. His first question was about the pandemic. He asked if a lot of people were dying? Our youth are cut off from the world. No one tells them anything. They just sense things intuitively.

I commented that it is amazing that none of the homeless have been infected. I asked them if they knew someone in the streets with the virus. They thought about it hard before responding. Apparently, no one in their immediate group had the virus. It is strange and good at the same. I don’t want to make precipitate judgments and say that it’s a miracle. Besides, many people have died. Many good and kind people lost their lives. Their families would be wondering why God did not act in their situation. We can be grateful that nothing has happened to our children and teens. However, it is not over yet. We still have a long road ahead. For now, we are still intact. I remember Felipe once shared that he believed that every time we escape a close brush with death, it is a reminder for us that we should not waste opportunities and seek to to do the truth always. Felipe is a simple young man. When he understands an aspect of the Truth, he applies it immediately where as most just stop at the knowledge of it.

But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. John 3:21

There were less people in the streets but I met more of our youth whom I haven’t seen for months. Unfortunately, there is a baby in the streets too. In the past year one of the older girls gave birth to a child. We are thankful that Felipe and his wife have a place to stay even though it is quite precarious. They have an infant child just a few days old. The streets is not a place for anyone much less a baby. This baby is not so fortunate. He doesn’t sleep in the streets but he is homeless. His mother spends her day in the streets and she finds some shelter in the evenings. Nothing permanent. Her baby was all smiles because he was surrounded by the youth who are constantly showering him with attention. I was disturbed and I want to be disturbed. I don’t want to get used to this scene. At the same time, I cannot let this distract me. This is their reality. They are not being irresponsible. They have lost everything. There is no gospel in trying to find someone to blame. It’s an exercise in futility. Nothing is going to change. I have to find hope in this seemingly hopeless situation. Some days it feels hard to find it. Thankfully, today wasn’t one of those days.

Actually, Hope found me. It came into my living room in the night before as I was reading into the early hours. I heard it strange buzzing sound of an insect. Initially, I thought it was a cockroach. Like most human beings, I find them repulsive and a little bit afraid of them. I grabbed something to squash the revolting thing. Then I realized that it was Hope. She landed close to my desk. Maybe it was a “he”. It doesn’t matter. She is a beautiful and charming little insect probably in the same species as a grasshopper. The locals understandably find this creature to be endearing. It is a nocturnal insect and not very commonly sighted. Brazilians have nicknamed it “hope”, or rather, “Esperança”. They believe that when they visit you, they bring hope to the household. I have never been superstitious and I am not going to start now. However, I do appreciate symbols. Seeing this gentle insect and saying its name out loud to myself brought a strange sense of peace to my heart. Hope comes when we least expect it. It is not something we can create within ourselves. It is not an illusion nor a defense mechanism. It is as real as this tiny creature and brings a sense of delight to our souls. It cannot be control or domesticated. It choose to come as it please and when it does, it comes to remind us. I can’t really say of what exactly. I am not convinced things are going to get better. This would be wishful thinking, almost a cliché. Besides, Hope is much morenthan this. It makes us look deep into a hopeless situation and discover something. I am not sure what. I just cannot quite find the words for it. In the meantime, my little “Esperança” was quite comfortable in my apartment. I have ample supply of plants here. However, her place is out in the world. She was looking for a way out. She has many homes to visit tonight. I gently picked her up and she rested in the palm of my hands and I brought her to the window. She flew and then came back briefly to rest on my head. Just for a second or two, then she left to visit some other soul. I am sure that her presence might bring joy to many even though everyone knows that she is just an insect. It is not what she is but what she represents. She is Hope. She needs to be out there in the world. She doesn’t belong to me. She belongs to everyone.

Jesus said that the Son of Man must lifted high so that everyone can see and believe that eternal life is given to them. Many have reduced this to life after death. Our children and teens who live so close to death on daily basis don’t think about eternal life in the same manner. Perhaps they don’t think about it at all. For them, they learn everything intuitively. Daniel was keen to change the subject. He had enough talk about death. H wanted to share something he saw recently. He said that there was an artist who used trash to make a sculpture. He was really impressed with it. He liked it that things which people throw away are used to make such beautiful art. He asked me to look for it on the internet. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it. It doesn’t matter. I saw its magic in the eyes of Daniel. Our youth always find something to remind them of the beauty of life. Nothing is considered trash. Society might think that they are worthless. Yet, an artist can see beauty when others see nothing but problems.

Perhaps this is what hope is all about. Recognizing beauty in the midst of death and destruction. Seeing hope in the presence of an insignificant creature. Seeing eternal life in a man hanging on a cruel instrument of death.

He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” The Jews then said to him, “What sign can you show us for doing this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” The Jews then said, “This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. John 2:16-21

We hadn’t seen Daniel for almost a year. I asked him to stand up. I heard rumors that he had grown taller. He smiled and immediately stood next to me. He was almost my height. He will be 18 this year, legally an adult. Hard to imagine. We always picture him as a petite scrawny kid who was always open for an adventure. Among all the teens, he was one of the few who went out on excursions with us. Consequently, we have taken many pictures together which coincidentally we were just looking at recently. He looks older now but his face still radiates with childlike innocence. It was obvious that he missed us as much as we missed him. Mary commented about his pictures. To our surprise, he remembered every occasion when the pictures were taken.

I asked him what he thought about the pandemic. He misunderstood my question. You know, words often get lost in the fabric of our masks. Daniel thought that the question was about life in general. He had an answer ready. “I want to meet people and have experiences and then share them with others just like you, and maybe even write about it.” I am not sure if he knew that I write about them. Maybe he did.

He mistook my question but perhaps he gave me a better answer that I expected. It’s possible that he did hear my question. The Pandemic has made many think about their lives. Daniel wants to do something which he believes will make his life meaningful. He remarked that he often goes off by himself to pray and think about life. Actually, most of the teens have been asking serious questions about their lives. It has resulted in some significant changes. Bruno told me the other day that he was done with lying about his life. Well, he does not really lie but his stories were often mingled with fantasy. I understand what he means. He is no longer afraid to face the reality of his past. This was just a preface; he wanted to share his first experience eating out. It was in a fast-food restaurant. For most of us, this is quite a common boring experience. Young Bruno thought that only wealthy people ate at these places. A kind lady whose house Bruno’s mother cleaned weekly decided to treat him on his birthday. She brought him to the restaurant and asked him to pick anything. He froze. He told me that he couldn’t do it. He felt that everyone knew that he had no business being there. He was only ten then. Finally, the woman ordered a huge hamburger with fries and a sundae. She sat with him while he ate. It was an experience that he will never forget. This story did not go anywhere. It wasn’t that kind of story. It was something that he wanted us to know. He thought that we would understand. I think I do. If not, one day it will be become clearer to me. As for now, I have treat it delicately because it is a precious gift he has given to me.

All these conversations took place in a busy business area. The children and teens have migrated to a new area. It is known as “Liberdade” which means “freedom”. It used to be where the Japanese community lived. Today most of the Nippon-Brazilians have moved into the other neighborhoods. However, the business and the grocery stores have remained here. They have many street food vendors. It is one of the most busy areas despite the Pandemic. Thankfully, most people do use masks but no one really respects social distancing. Here the major thrust is commerce. Everyone is either busy spending money or making it. In the midst of this, our homeless youth have found a temporary home. They represent the other extreme. Some people walk by and despise their presence. They don’t hesitate to show their disdain. Others find solace in their presence. The children and teens are like a temple in the middle of the market place. They have invaded a place and live a lifestyle completely contrary to its values. They are disrupting something in this place just the way Jesus disrupted the market in the temple.

Bruno sits outside a bank and…I can’t really say that he begs. He just sits there. He doesn’t say anything. People give him some change because it is obvious that he is homeless. Daniel and Wanderson run errands for the food vendors. I saw Wanderson helping to unload food from a delivery truck. They get some food and cash for their errands. The food vendors have taken a liking to them. Bruno does something different. He likes talking to people. Sometimes during their break, the employees of the stores chat with him. Bruno is not from their world of commerce and office politics. Consequently, their conversation is different from that with their colleagues. Perhaps different enough for them to keep coming back to him. There are some significant changes in Bruno too. When we first met him about seven years ago, he was constantly drugged out. He always sniffed a bottle of paint thinner while he sat and begged. Nowadays, he sits and reads and whenever someone approaches him, he gives them his full attention without asking for any money.

There is a young man who works in one of the biggest stores in the area. Everyday he sits next to Bruno on the ground and chats about everything and nothing. It was later revealed that he is the son of the owner and next in line to inherit the business. In the eyes of the world, this is a bizarre friendship. In reality, it is a very normal thing between two young men of the same age. Bruno does not expect anything from this man. This man has found something different and unique in his relationship with Bruno.

There are others too. Bruno is constantly introducing us to them. I can’t remember who is who. However, it is very uplifting to see Bruno overcome the obstacles of being considered just a homeless person. He is just Bruno to these people and he happens to be homeless. Perhaps this is what Daniel meant when he said that he wants to meet different people and become friends with them. In a strange way, these youth are providing something for people who are exhausted by the demands of the commercial world. They see someone in a situation that is the stuff of their worst nightmares and yet, they discover something beautiful and meaningful in them. They are a reminder to these people entrenched in the market that there is life beyond this world of buying and selling.

The temple provided a place where people could be free from the pressures of the world to ask themselves the deep questions of life. Unfortunately, in Jesus’ time, the temple succumbed to the market. Today is not any different. However, the good news is that the temple is no longer a place nor a building. It is a person. He is present and manifests Himself in the people whom we least expect. For now, God is using these homeless youth to be a temple in the market place known as “Freedom.”

Then Jesus began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Mark 8:31-33

Previously, Peter had proclaimed that Jesus was the Christ. In Jesus’ time, the people had suffered one oppressive regime after another. They exhausted all human efforts to overcome the tyranny. Cruelty and injustice had become the norm for them. However, the people knew that the Christ would change this scenario for eternity. After Him, suffering and injustice would be history.

We can understand how disappointed Peter must have felt when Jesus predicted the future that awaited Him. There was no mention of political takeover. The world was going to remain as it was. The Christ was to suffer, just like the oppressed and humiliated. It wasn’t exactly what the people wanted to hear. If we are honest, it is not what we want to hear as well. Jesus was supposed to be the answer to all of life’s problems. There was nothing else after Him. If He is not going to change the order of things, then who is going to do it? Peter felt that it was his duty to redirect the Christ to do what he believed was necessary, an attitude that is still prevalent today. It is a satanic one according to Jesus. Even then, we still persist on holding onto to it. We still believe that we can guide the Christ in His actions in this world.

A couple weeks ago something tragic happened. It left me feeling rather revolted and somewhat bitter. In reality, it is not that interesting because evil is dreadfully boring. Wanderson was falsely accused of something serious. I know that he was completely innocent because he was with me. He was standing next to me when it happened. We were watching a cultural presentation together. It was a Chinese lion dance in honor of the Lunar New Year. Growing up in Singapore, this was one of my favorite cultural spectacles. I invited the teens to watch with me. It was a good educational opportunity, plus I could share one of my favorite childhood experiences with them. Bruno and Guilherme were with us. Usually, the young people would avoid watching such events. They usually think that the rest of people dread their presence in the midst of them. However, today, they were with me. They felt safe.

The presentation was mediocre and somewhat unintentionally humorous. Wanderson was making some funny remarks about it. Then, for no apparent reason, a young man approached and punched him in his back. It was so random that we thought maybe it was a friend fooling around with him. The young man said something that visibly upset Wanderson and he left immediately. We were little confused. Then we overheard the man telling his friends that we were a suspicious bunch too. Bruno confronted the man, who recoiled. He was trying to intimidate us for some reason. We were still little disoriented. The young man grabbed his wife and went to two policemen who stood close by. He claimed that Wanderson had sexually assaulted his wife. The officers took out their guns and approached Wanderson. Needless to say, he was manhandled and handcuffed. Throughout this time, the poor boy was pleading to the police saying that he had done nothing. We went to his defense. The officer told me that I could be his witness but if they proved Wanderson was guilt, they would arrest me for being an accomplice. To be frank, I was afraid to get into the patrol car where I knew more injustice and violence awaited me. To my surprise, Bruno offered to be taken with Wanderson but the police ignored him and drove off.

Everything was resolved in a few hours. There were surveillance cameras and high tech finger print detectors involved. Wanderson was no where near the woman and his prints were not on the woman. I knew this already because he was standing next to me. The woman did not even know what was going on until her husband told her she was supposedly assaulted. There was nothing that provoked the incident except hatred and prejudice. The man could not handle the presence of poor homeless youth enjoying a public event. Bruno and I noticed that this man had a religious t-shirt on which had a biblical verse about Jesus. Apparently, he believed in the Christ but not in His love and grace.

At the end of the day, the couple went home without any consequences. Wanderson was released immediately but suffered public humiliation for no rhyme nor reason. He came back and went on with life as usual. He has grown accustomed to this kind of treatment. Bruno told me that this happens all the time. People can say all kinds of lies against them and they can’t say anything in their defense. None of them have any criminal record but they are always treated as if they are guilty before proven innocent. Bruno asked me why is the norm. I had to restrain my instinct to say that this wasn’t the norm. It would be an utter lie. This is how things operate here. One side has the power to dominate and humiliate while the other is helpless and has to endure everything that is at thrown at them. I came home feeling a little sad and very angry. I wanted God to do something. I was on the side of Peter. I wanted to rebuke God for not changing the way the world functions.

It was obvious to Peter. Things cannot go on as they are. Jesus never disagreed with Peter. However, He was not going to participate in the evil system to change it. He did not come to improve things. This would require Him to work in partnership with sin. This was the proposal of the devil in the desert. It was a partnership that came with a price.

The devil said to Jesus, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written,‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.’ Matthew 4:9-10

Jesus came to establish the New Creation. The Old is incompatible with the new. The former does everything from top down. God chooses to establish the New Creation among those who are humiliated and oppressed constantly. We want a Christ who comes wielding with power and might. Jesus reveals to us a suffering servant. God chooses to establish His Kingdom from the perspective of those whom the world neglects and rejects. The New Creation begins here and it is well established here. However, we are not going to see it until we give up our idea of how things should function and allow God to reveal His ways to us.

Bruno had a similar experience. He was taken to the police station falsely accused of something which never happened. The commanding officer found nothing incriminating and it was clear that Bruno was innocent. He reprimanded the officers. He demanded that they release him immediately. However, the arresting officers took him to a hidden corner in streets and beat up before letting him go. Bruno said that he did not mind the unjust beating that he received. This always happens. However, he was happy at least one person recognized that he was falsely accused. He was satisfied with this. I would have demanded more. Then again, I live in a different world where I am fed with lies on how this world functions. Our homeless youth see a different reality. It is closer to what Jesus experienced. Perhaps, they see the Kingdom of God in a different light. Maybe, I am the one who needs to leave my “satanic” ideas of how the Christ should act in this world and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to me through these young people.

The New Creation is here. We may never see it if we insist on looking for it in the old.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-20

It wasn’t exactly strange but definitely unusual in these strange times. Our Sunday afternoons are spent reading the gospel of Matthew together with Felipe in a “park”. This “park” is really a highway which is closed on the weekends and the residents of this city treat it like a “park” even without the trees, benches and anything that actual parks possess. We are a people desperate for any space to walk and just hang out in small groups without violating the restrictions. This is where our tiny church meets to study the Bible and pray. There is always a large movement of people in this place and strangely, we never ran into our friends for the past year. However, on Sunday, we ran into two friends on two different occasions. One in particular had expressed a keen interest in participating in our little church. However, the pandemic got in the way of her plans. It was nice to finally introduce her to Felipe. Surprisingly, he did not seem to be awkward or reserved like most of our homeless youth when they meet someone outside their circle. It shows how much he has grown over the past year. For a moment, I had a glimpse of all our friends from different worlds coming together to share a meal in our home. It is going to happen one day.

Our friend wanted to see us the next day. We met outside in an open space not far from our home. She was overjoyed to see us. It has been a year since she talked and laughed with her friends.
She works in the medical profession and everyone around her is going through a stressful time. After work, they just want to go home. They don’t have an outlet to share and talk with anyone. It has been a lonely and depressing year for her. Our conversations zigzagged around countless topics and then finally rested on the subject of Lent. Our friend is an agnostic. She was brought up in a pentecostal church and spent much of her youth actively involved in its religious programs. When she started working in Jewish social center for people who have suffered trauma, she saw that things which she was taught in church did not match up with the reality she faced. She found herself slowly drifting away from her faith. However, she never ceased to be interested in God nor religion. In fact, our conversations often times ended up on the subject of God.

Even though this is a predominantly Catholic society, our friend never heard about Lent until recently. She is not the only one. Most people here think that Ash Wednesday is the end of Carnaval and not the beginning of the Lent. The Protestant churches consider everything Catholic suspicious. They avoid adopting any of its traditions. Her Catholic friends were quite disappointing too. They told her that Lent was about giving up alcohol or chocolates. In many places, people talk about Lent in this way. It is an impoverished idea of a great tradition. Fortunately, our friend sensed that there was something more to it. She asked us about it. For her, the idea of having a special time or period consecrated for something specific was appealing. She wanted to know the purpose of this special season.

The Bible has many examples of periods of fasting. However, it is never about giving up food. God does not delight in depriving us of our natural sustenance. On the hand, we spend a great deal of our time on food; preparing, thinking about it, organizing our day around our meals. Fasting does free up our time. Lent is about consecrating our time to reflect.

We begin Lent with the story of Jesus going into the wilderness. Before this, He was a carpenter; His time and energy and identity were contained in this role. In the wilderness, He was free from everything. He had time to reorganize His priorities. He needed time to change His mindset from being a carpenter to someone whom God had called Him to be. We need forty days every year remind ourselves of our vocation.

Every year is different. Therefore, we cannot apply what we did in the previous years to this year. We have a Pandemic. It is not going to end soon. In fact, in many ways it can help us go beyond our superficial Lenten practices. The situation has deprived us of many of favorite activities. Most of us have given up way more than chocolates this year. Many have lost friends and families. I have lost some friends this year and never had the chance to say goodbye to them. Many are isolated and lonely. Many are afraid with no one to console them. The political situation is moving from bad to worse. No one can say that things are getting better, even with the vaccine around the corner for some. We are living in the wilderness. When Jesus came out of the wilderness, He became a healer. Remembering the story of His temptation, Jesus was given the choice. He could have walked the way of the devil. The devil’s arguments were reasonable. Jesus listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

During the past year, names of many came popping up. Some of them are our homeless youth that we haven’t seen for more than a year. There were many that were once dear friends who left a distinctive mark in my life but unfortunately time and space have kept us apart for many years. I often wondered if they were fine or how they were dealing with this time. It never occurred to me that perhaps they were brought to my memory because the Holy Spirit wants to use me as an instrumental of healing. Maybe they can bring healing to my soul too. This Lent I am going to listen to these gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit. Many times I have disregarded them, considering them to be fleeting thoughts because I was busy with my life here. I was very concerned about the state of the world. I was disturbed by the political situation. I was occupied with things that I was powerless to change. Thankfully, Lent is here. I am given the chance to reorganize my priorities. For Jesus, healing and restoring souls was His priority. Lent is about following in the footsteps of our Lord.

We were able to spend just an hour with our friend, mostly because it was getting dark and she had a long bus journey home. It was a short time after a year of absence. However, there was a sense of healing in our souls. Our meeting with our friend has made me realize that our simple and genuine contact with another human being brings so much joy to our souls. It doesn’t take much to bring joy into someone’s life. All we need to do is to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit who brings names of people to our attention. People who might feel forgotten but a simple note or a phone call might bring them the joy and healing they need. I haven’t paid attention to the Holy Spirit. Lent is giving me a chance now. I am going to start looking for the people whose names pop up in my my mind. Maybe we will never restore the friendship we once had. However, this is not the priority. It is just important for them to know that their lives have left a permanent mark in our souls. The love which they shared with us has an eternal place in our hearts. Knowing this in a time where uncertainty reigns helps us to anchor ourselves in what is the most important treasure in this world.