Jesus also said, ‘The kingdom of God is as if someone would scatter seed on the ground, and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how. The earth produces of itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full grain in the head.’ Mark 4:26-28

Maybe a farmer in Jesus’ time did not know how but today a scientist could explain everything. Every aspect of plant growth can be explained in great detail today. However, it does not mean this parable is not relevant to the scientist. It is not about science. Scientific studies are about things which can be observed. This parable is about the force bringing a simple organism into its full potential. In other words, it asks the question what moves us to achieve our lives’ full potential. After all, this is what most of us desire. It is not a concern limited to philosophers or scientists. All of us desire to be complete in our being. We use all kinds of different phrases to express this desire. Jesus calls this force which moves us to full and abundant life the Kingdom of God.

There is a tendency in us to think about God and His everlasting presence as something distant and hidden from our reality. Many times people are told to look to the skies to find God. Of course, this is just symbolic and poetic language. Jesus uses the parables in the same manner to change our perception. He changed the language to show us that the Kingdom of God is not up there but down here in the simple and everyday things. The problem is when we are too busy pursuing our personal fulfillment we miss out on the very thing which we are desperately seeking. It is right here in the simple and everyday things. We only have to look beyond what is presented to us. In a way, the scientists can teach us something here. In our culture, we like to put scientists on a pedestal and treat them as little gods or some sort of superhuman. Most honest scientists would reject such a notion, at least, Einstein, one of the greatest of our era, did. He often claimed that he was not a brilliant man but just an observant one. It was not humility on his part but sincere honesty. He said that he was just a curious person who wanted to go beyond what the eyes could see. However, Jesus is calling us to go even deeper. To see and discover the force which moves all things in this world. The power which gives each and every being its essence and identity.

These parables are by no means a glorification of the rural life over an urban one. Most of us live in an urban situation and these parables are still relevant. They draw our attention to the reality of God’s presence in our daily lives. I remember reading these parables to one of our homeless youth. He has been homeless since he was eight and never in his life cultivated a seed or a plant. He has very rudimentary knowledge of biology. The reading of these parables became a science lesson for him. I realized that these parables are better interpreted through practical living rather than words. Jesus used parables to show how to discover the Kingdom of God in the true and practical sense. However, it is not pragmatic nor can be explained away. In other words, it cannot be reduced to a formula or a pattern. It is present in an inexplicable and transformative manner.

Most recently, a strange and wonderful phenomenon is happening in the streets. Everyday, except on the weekends, we meet our homeless youth in the same area. We have developed a predictable routine. They would come about the same time and sit with us and just talk. We have become their old friends. They would share their thoughts and sometimes talk about life. The conversations go in many different directions. Then we end our time together with a game. We do everything in a quiet corner in the streets but it is still in quite a public area. People have taken notice of us. Many people sit and watch our interactions during their work breaks. Sometimes they are tourists who are resting after shopping frantically. We also have our regulars. There are a group of old Chinese immigrants who don’t speak a word of Portuguese who sit and watch us. The youth even joke about it and say that they are our spectators. Some days when these men are not around, Bruno would say that we are missing something essential. Sometimes people would tell us where the children and youth are when we arrive. Most of them just watch us in silence. However, this is not the most amazing thing.

We have had in more than one occasion, complete strangers, usually young people, who asked us if they could join us in our games. The first time it happened we were taken aback. It was a young man who had just came from a successful job interview and wanted to join us. Perhaps he was feeling joyous and wanted to share the moment with someone. He was a pastry chef. He played several games with us before leaving. The youth were surprised and at the same time they were very open towards him. Then a week later, another young man asked if he could join us. He told us that he lived nearby and everyday after work he walked past us and observed us playing a game. Coincidentally, he was a baker. His name is William and the youth again received him without any problems. At the same time, we were all trying to process this. Perhaps, it sounds like nothing special to many. However, for our young people who have spent their lives being ignored and avoided, this is something new. People are looking at them and desiring to be part of them in a positive manner. They feel that these young homeless people share something special that they desire to have in their lives.

In this past week, Mary and I went to the immigration office to get our documents renewed. We met a professional Chinese lady there for the same purpose. The wait was excruciatingly long and she approached us just to talk and pass the time. Her English was impeccable even though she had never lived in a English speaking country. She was working in a successful firm and well adjusted to life in this urban city. She asked us what we did for a living, you know, the usual small talk questions. We told her and it immediately changed the course of the conversation. She wanted to know if she could be in any way be part of our work. I assumed that she is not religious because she did not ask anything about our church even after we told her that we were missionaries. In a way, this is a good thing. She heard what we did and she wanted to be part of it despite not being in the same so-called group as us. She did not feel that it was beyond her reach or she was excluded from it. The Kingdom of God is not something exclusive to one group. It beckons everyone who want to be connected to the One who is able to awaken in their souls a desire to reach their full potential as a person. This young woman was successful in regular society. However, she knew something was missing. She is looking for something deeper. Hopefully, she will join us one day for a game of Uno.

Many people walk past us everyday. Many don’t pay attention to what we are doing. Many don’t even realize that there are homeless youth among us. They see us but they do not see us. We continue to be invisible. However, there are those who are seeking something more. They want to discover something beyond their day-to-day reality. In a strange and wonderful way, our little group playing a game of Uno in the streets has revealed something to them. They know that it is not just a game. There is a strong bond between us and they want to be part of us. This bond is none other the Kingdom of God.

Jesus said when two or three gathered in His Name, He is among them. We have gathered together for some time now. The small seed which has been planted is now growing. People have taken notice and they are coming to take shelter in its shady branches.

One sabbath Jesus was going through the cornfields; and as they made their way his disciples began to pluck heads of grain. The Pharisees said to him, ‘Look, why are they doing what is not lawful on the sabbath?’ Mark 2:23-24

We live in close proximity to small Jewish enclave. It is easy to forget this even though the community’s school is only about a block away from our place. However, the Jewish community has learned to live discreetly for justifiable reasons. We know their history. Not even in this country they are spared from hatred. They have to learn to walk quietly and silently in our midst, except on Saturdays. On this special day, they make themselves known to the world. We see them gallantly dressed in their traditional garments walking to the synagogues in small groups with little delightful children running around cheerfully. The men wear extraordinary furry hats which I am sure have a special name. They look a little out of place in this seemingly tropical climate but still they do not fail to bestow a sense of dignity to these men. Their strict observance of the Sabbath requires them to refrain from driving nor staying in their homes. They are forced to engage with the world. They put aside all their fears and apprehensions and display proudly to the world that they are here present in this world because of their special vocation. They are elected to be part of something glorious. Most of us gaze at them with fascination and perhaps with a little envy. They belong to a special community which has withstood a long history of hardship and marginalization. On Sabbath, they proudly display their unique identity. The Sabbath is their weekly celebration of their special vocation.

It is safe to say that most of us born outside the Jewish faith can not truly appreciate the importance of Sabbath. Perhaps, we should refrain from judging the Pharisees rashly when it comes to this issue. They were defending something which was essential to their Jewish identity. We can appreciate this. People fight wars and willingly die to defend their national or tribal identity. We vote for leaders if they promise to keep us from losing track of who we are. Many terrible leaders were elected due to this. The Pharisees, in many ways, were just like us. They were zealous about protecting what they thought was essential to their identity.

The observance of Sabbath is about their identity as God’s chosen people. They were determined to protect this zealously. Nothing which would jeopardize the observance of this day was permitted. In the gospel reading, they were upset when the disciples plucked the grains of wheat for food on this holy day. It may appear to us as if they were extremely nit picky. In reality, they were being very moderate. The Old Testament, the Book of Numbers more precisely, tells us a tragic tale where a man gathered some sticks on the Sabbath and he was put to death for it (Numbers 15:32-36). The Bible tells us that God commanded the people to stone the man. The people were a little hesitant but they had to obey the order from God. It seems like God is on the same page as the Pharisees and Jesus is really the trouble maker.

I think I just walked into a very tricky maze and now I have to find a way out. However, it is necessary for us to face this apparent contradiction in the Bible. It appears like Jesus is setting Himself against the Old Testament. At the same time, He claimed that He did not come to do away with the Law but to fulfill it. Our Lord is quite complicated. He does not make it easy for the Pharisees, nor for us. The Bible is not for amateurs. We need to have courage to face these hard questions. We have to be courageous to listen to the voice of Jesus and look back into the past with a critical attitude. Jesus is not doing away with the past. He is redefining it. The Law was interpreted with an imperfect understanding of God and now Jesus is presenting us with a bold argument. He is claiming to give us a true understanding of God. We can see why this would greatly annoy the religious authorities of His time.

The people of Israel looked at the Law as a tool for separating themselves from the rest of the world. They refused to engage in the world around them. They shun away from those who did not share their identity. Those who did not conform to the requirements of their vocation were considered impure at best or dead at worse. This is not the message of the gospel. There are many who preach this message but it is not one in accordance with the ministry and life of our Lord.

Our Lord did not preach a message to make us cower and hide from the world. He gave us a vocation to separate ourselves from the world so that we can engage with the world in a way to bring forth healing;

 “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14

Eternal life is not life after death but living our lives fully and completely in the present reality. It is seeing the reality and beauty of God’s love in every given situation. It is the hope of humanity to see something creative and life-giving springing forth from this chaotic world.

The Pharisees were so obsessed with their identity as an elected people that they forget the true purpose of their vocation. It was not to exalt themselves but it was for them to become a life giving force in this world. We cannot be a life giving force if we are not present in the world. We cannot be a spring of eternal water if we hide and cower from the world. However, we still need to be separated or set aside. We are not to be in the world using its tools to proclaim the reality of eternal life. We are to be separated from the world to be like our Lord. He is the Lord of our Sabbath. He is our identity but not our role model. We usually pick and choose what we want from our role models but we live our lives in Jesus. We contemplate His actions and interpret them to live them out in our given situation. We seek to understand how to bring His healing Love to those around us. In other words, we make Jesus our Sabbath. It is not about a day but living our lives according to a Person. It is about taking time to remind ourselves that we have a vocation in this world. This vocation is to allow Jesus to open our eyes and ears to perceive the world as He perceives. It requires much of our time, more than just a day. It is a lifestyle.

Jesus lived in this world to serve and heal. He served and healed without reservation. He brought hope and joy to the people. The Sabbath of the Pharisees was oppressive and death producing. Well, what about the complicated story in the Old Testament? The Bible is a story of humanity’s growing understanding of God. It shows how imperfect nature could never fully grasp the goodness and love of God. Many people want God to be a tyrant and tell them what to do. A tyrannical God always commits atrocious acts. Many Christians past and present prefer this kind of God. However, the Lord of the Sabbath calls us to separate ourselves and contemplate on God who is life giving. God who wants to use Sabbath to renew our strength and gives us the courage to face the chaos and trouble in the world and be transformed into springs of eternal water. Sabbath is about living Life and living it to the fullness. Only the Lord of the Sabbath can help us achieve this. He is the fountain of our Life. Let us drink from it daily.

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. John 16:13-14

It is Pentecost Sunday! The Day of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes in the New Testament, the apostles refer to this same Spirit as the Spirit of Jesus. According to the gospel of John, Jesus said that The Holy Spirit would come to reveal the nature and ministry of Jesus to the world.

We are accustomed to this idea and accept it without any question. Most of us have heard these teachings since we were young. Maybe we do not realize how all this is very confusing. All it takes is a clever atheist to point this out to us.

Jesus was in the flesh and blood here on earth. Then He died on the Cross. His disciples believed everything had ended with his death. We know the story. Then He rose from the dead. Death was no longer an obstacle. He overcame the greatest enemy of all living things. At this point, the disciples must have been relieved. Their Lord was back with them again. Unfortunately, He left them once more in a very dramatic fashion and this time for good. We have a feast day for this in our liturgical calendar. Sometimes this day passes by so quickly and quietly that we do not have time to think about it. It is the Feast of the Ascension. We say it in our Creed. He ascended into the heavens and is seated at the right hand of the Father. Jesus claimed that it was necessary for him to leave, so that the Holy Spirit could come and teach about Him. However, He was there in person. He could have stayed and cleared up many things. Maybe He could have remained and helped organize the church. Then the church would not have spilt over organizational issues. It could have saved years of fighting against heresy. Not to mention, the witch hunts etc. However, this was not the plan of the gospel. Apparently it was necessary for Jesus to ascend into the heavens because Jesus is the savior of the world. He does not belong to the church. He belongs to the world.

Some of you might already know this; Muslims also believe that Jesus ascended into the heavens. They also believe that He will return. However, they have a logical explanation for why Jesus ascended. In Islamic teachings, Jesus was not crucified. Some other person suffered that fate by mistake or rather, God created a confusion among His persecutors and the wrong person was apprehended. Then Jesus ascended into heavens to escape these wicked people. Obviously, this is not the Christian doctrine. Jesus, according to the gospels, never runs away from the world. He confronted and challenged the world. He never allowed the world to dictate His actions. He never allowed the circumstances and situations to influence His decisions. He stood above this world.

When the gospel tells us Jesus ascended to the heavens, there is an important message communicated here. Some preachers like to jump right to the Second Coming whenever the ascension is mentioned. However, we have a liturgical season dedicated to this subject. It is the season of Advent. The Feast of Ascension tells a different story. Jesus ascended to the heavens to liberate us. He wanted to liberate the early disciples from their limited views of the Saviour. The first Christians were Jewish. They had a Jewish idea of the Messiah. They believed that Jesus came strictly for the Jewish nation and therefore, it was important that He was physically present on the land of the Jewish nation. In their thinking, only their nation was relevant and the ministry of the Messiah was limited to their nation.

They could not fathom the relevance of the life and ministry of Jesus beyond their tiny community. When Jesus ascended to the heavens, He revealed that He was not restricted to one nation. He belonged to all people who sought something eternal in the midst of all things temporal. In each country, people believed that they would find this something. The Jewish people sought for the Messiah. In India, this messianic figure can be identified with Krishna in some circles. Then, there is Buddha. I am sure that there are many more who seek for something or someone whose message is eternal and life giving. Many of them look towards the heavens for the answer. For the ancients, the heavens are where eternal answers are found. There are vestiges of this conviction still present in modern people. In almost very big city, you will find people trying construct the tallest building in the world. They do it to draw attention to themselves. They are convinced that their attempt to reach the skies will prove their relevance to the rest of the world. Jesus did not construct a tower to reach the heavens. He was taken up. He belongs to the heavens. He stays there as a symbol and standard for all peoples. No doubt, many do not want Him to be there. They would rather have their symbols of power to dominate the skies.

Recently, someone asked me if our church believes in the rapture. The modern Anglican church is so diverse and complex that it is impossible to speak for it as a whole. Historically speaking, the church did not believe in it. Not just our church but almost all the historic churches. We preach a gospel of life. The doctrine of rapture is about escaping trial and tribulations in some cases or even leaving this world. However, trials and tribulations are part of life. Jesus faced trials and tribulations and brought forth something new and everlasting from them. The followers of Jesus should not seek to escape troubles nor sufferings. We look to the sky and see a Lord who faced all the chaos and troubles the world threw at Him. He endured hatred and bitterness and He responded with Love. He ascended to the heavens without any resentment towards those who murdered Him. He was free from all the things which restrict our lives here on earth. He revealed that His Life is the Way for all peoples because all peoples, regardless of their culture, religion and nation, want to be liberated from their restricted world dominated by hatred and resentment.

The salvation of Jesus liberates our hearts and minds. It frees us from the restrictive mindset of this world. It liberates us from looking through the eyes of nihilism and hopelessness. Jesus creates life and a new order in the midst of chaos. He went to the skies to let us know that He is giving us this power and authority to follow in His footsteps. Most importantly, He is lifted up unto the heavens to be the standard for all people. He is the standard for us to live a life in harmony with God. He is the way we can discover true and abundant life. He is the Truth which will overcome ignorance and hatred where it is spreading like a deadly disease in this world. He is a high standard. There is a temptation for us to look to others who have lower standards and claim access to the heavens. Usually the signs of these false messiahs are clear. Their attempts always result in confusion and lies.

Jesus is there high up in the heavens. He is not there to help us escape reality. He is there to remind us that it is possible to conquer the chaos surrounding us. However, we need to help. This is why we have this special day. The Day of the Holy Spirit. It is a Spirit who liberates us from ourselves. It liberates us from our restrictive mindset. The Holy Spirit came to enrich our lives and open doors for us to listen and understand others who seek something more concrete and real in this disordered world. It is a Spirit giving us the courage to say Yes to life and No to nihilism and death. Most importantly, it is the Spirit who gives us the power to recognize the Presence of Jesus transforming us to become more like Him. This is what is means to be spirit filled. We become more like Jesus and confront this world without fear nor resentment. We engage in this world without being drawn into its web of hatred and discord. The Holy Spirit is here to transform us. However, not everyone waits on this Spirit. Many would rather keep Jesus in the closet somewhere and take Him out whenever they need Him and then hide Him away. This Jesus does not exist. Only those who have the courage to look up to see Jesus ascended into the heavens will welcome the Holy Spirit to transform them to become like Him. Therefore, let us look up to the One and Only Saviour exalted in the heavens to learn how to live our lives fully engaged in this world. Let us receive His Holy Spirit giving us the power and wisdom to do this in His Holy Name.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:12-17

Perhaps most of us should find these verses disturbing. Surely they are difficult words for us to accept. Maybe we are so mesmerized by their beauty and familiarity that we overlook their controversial nature. Sometimes I have heard preachers talk about God’s friendship with us and they forget to mention that friendship is a two way street. It is great to have a friend like Jesus. However, Jesus tells us that we are to become a friend like Him. He laid down His life for his friends and we should do the same.

Surely this is too much for most of us. We can understand dying for our family members. Many times I have heard people say that they will defend their families to death. They believe that this makes them sound noble. However, Jesus, on the other hand, said some controversial things in regards to our families.

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14: 26

He speaks about our blood relations in the negative but He extols friendship. He teaches us that the truest expression of love is when we lay down our lives for our friends. However, why just friends? Why not for a noble cause? In Jesus’ time, there were zealots who willingly sacrificed their lives for their nation. They would have loved it if Jesus had said that greatest love is to lay one’s life for a grand cause or something to that effect. He didn’t. He said friends.

We use many different words to describe the nature of our relationship with each other. We have work colleagues, club members, church friends and the list goes on. Many times these words limit the nature of our relationships. We say that these people are our friends only in a given context. Beyond this context, the friendship tends to lose its intensity. For most people, if they are willing to admit it, friendship is not a necessity. It is almost like a cordial way of dealing with people whom we need to be with for a determined period. This is true for most people who are well adjusted in this world. They conform to all the given roles in society. Every one has their allocated space and time. Therefore, the words of Jesus in this and almost every societal context go against the cultural norms. They set themself against the values of this world. They invite us to look at the person to whom we have no social obligation and open ourselves to them. Jesus makes it even more complicated. He implies that our understanding of salvation is dependent on it.

For those who find themselves lost in this world, friendships are the only anchor to ensure them a place in reality. In other words, the words of Jesus are gospel only to those who are disillusioned with the values of this world.

Our homeless youth would not find the words of Jesus so controversial. However, this does not mean that they would willingly die for each other. This would be sheer nonsense for them. They wouldn’t have any qualms saying this directly to each other. However, their bond of friendship is deeper than most people in society. They need each other for survival. At night, our youth sleep in groups and they need the tactile presence of each other to make them feel safe and secure. For them, their homes and families are the source of traumas and their friends are part of the healing process. I think this is perhaps true for many people reading this too. However, our homeless children and youth are allowed to admit this. Many who live so-called regular lives are restricted from admitting this due to social pressures. However, Jesus is only interested in the Truth which liberates our souls from falsehood.

Our children might understand the importance and relevance of friendship but this does not mean that they would find the words of Jesus easy. They still pose a challenge. They require us to lay down our lives for our friends, something which our homeless youth would consider ridiculous no matter how much they love their friends. I am sure that this reflects the honest sentiments of many. Before we ignore these words because of their difficulty, we should consider trying to break this down to something small and simple which is doable on a daily basis. Instead, of laying down our lives, we should consider the words, “dying to oneself”.

In today’s world, we are bombarded with technology and items which cater to our desires. There are countless opportunities to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. Today people don’t even need to leave their living room to find a romantic partner. I think the point is clear and I don’t have to labour on it. In this context, “dying to ourselves” means simply making the time to be with someone else. It is coming out of our isolated shells and making time for others. People have isolated themselves so much that they became ill both physically and emotionally. They need friends to heal their souls. They need people who are willing to die to themselves and make time to reach out to them.

We meet the youth every day at the same spot and this time, maybe because of the years we spent with them, they come looking for us. Almost everyday at the same time, they drop everything they are doing and join us at our spot. Usually we sit on the ground and talk with them and eventually we end up with a game of Uno. Recently, we noticed a group of Chinese immigrants who work in the restaurants joining us at this time. They don’t really participate in our activities but they sit and observe our interactions. We have become their coffee break activity. The youth noticed them and they liked it. There are also some street cleaners who observe us from a distance. Sometimes they inform us where the young people are when we arrive there. At other times, random people stop and make comments and just sit and watch our interactions with each one. Just recently, we were playing a game and a young man came up to us and asked us if he could play as well. We were taken aback at first but our homeless youth made some space for him to sit. He played with us and told us that he was baker and was in-between jobs. He sat and interacted with us. The youth treated him well. He played with us until it was time for him to go to his new job. Maybe he needed to participate in something calm and soothing before embarking on this new phase in his life.

I have to say something which makes us feel delightfully happy. There is a deeper and stronger bond of friendship between us and the youth. It is so strong that others are taking notice of it. It is not a one way friendship. The youth enrich our lives, they make time for us. We make time for them. People around us are making time to be with us in the heart of a busy city where people are constantly being isolated from each other. A group of homeless youth are drawing the attention of the people. The amazing thing is that they don’t see them as a group of homeless young people but friends having a good and healthy time with each other. Many don’t realize it whenever they see us together but I am sure they sense it in their souls. In the midst of our card games and conversations, Jesus is the center of all. Maybe it is this presence which gives them the courage to approach us. He is the one who unites us and overcomes all social and cultural barriers. The youth opened themselves to us and we open ourselves to them. Now, complete strangers are beginning to open themselves to us. This is the gospel. This is why Jesus said it is important to lay down our lives for our friends. In our reality, it simply means giving each other our time.

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’ John 20:26-29

This is definitely one of my favorite passages from the gospels. It gives us permission to talk about doubt. Many times people are afraid to be misunderstood when they express their doubts because most of us are taught to think that doubt is incompatible with faith.

There is doubt and then there is being consumed by doubt which is incompatible with faith. Many great saints in the history of our faith had doubts. Their doubts helped them in their faith. However, the contrary is also true. There are many who claim to have faith but doubts consumed their souls. They live in a world where everything is filtered through their doubts. It becomes their primary expression of faith.

Having doubts is not contrary to faith. Thomas had faith but he questioned what the apostles told him. If he had lost his faith, he would have gone back to whatever he was doing before he followed Jesus. Instead, he was with the apostles even though the Man in whom he based his faith was tortured and murdered right before his very eyes. Now, the apostles were telling him something incredibly new. Christ had risen from the grave. If we can place ourselves in the shoes of this man, we can understand that all this would be a bit overwhelming for any decent person. Understandably, the words of his fellow apostles were not sufficient. He had to know for himself. He had doubts and only the true living Lord could satisfy him. He was not going to base his faith on hearsay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Not to forget, all apostles only believed after they met the Risen Christ. Therefore, Thomas was not any different from any one of them. Jesus met this apostle where he was spiritually.

Jesus never rebuked Thomas for questioning the accounts of the disciples. We have to be careful that we do not insert what is not present in the text. Jesus did not rebuke Thomas! He freely attended to the apostle’s conditions so that he could be free from his doubts and believe. His demands were not reasonable at that time. Jesus was still present in flesh and blood. He wanted to meet Jesus in this manner, albeit a little morbid. Thomas had deep faith despite his doubts. It was more profound than the other apostles. The gospel tells us that he was the first one in the gospel to confess the divinity of Jesus in a public manner. The other apostles saw the resurrected Lord and were amazed. However, only Thomas connected all the dots. His doubts helped him to reconstruct his concept of Jesus. Doubts have a tendency to this. They can help us to see the magnitude of God’s love and power in a new light.

Human history reveals to us that doubts open doors to great discovery. The early philosophers expressed doubts about the veracity of the Greek mythology. Their doubts led them to seek the Truth in nature and the order of the universe. Their discovery helped them formulate the concept of the Logos, the Living Word, which our beloved evangelist redefines in his introduction of the ever-living presence of Jesus in the gospel of John. St Augustine of Hippo doubted that God in the Old Testament was the same as the One in the New Testament. His doubts helped him discover the nature of God and our limited understanding of the nature of evil. Martin Luther doubted what was taught to him in the Roman Catholic Church. He questioned the image of God which was presented to him. It freed him to rediscover the image of God revealed in Jesus. Our history is filled with people who had doubts but they never lost their faith. Their doubts helped them rediscover the face of God. However, there is an important element present in all these people. They had doubts but they were still open to receive the Truth. In other words, their doubts did not hinder their faith.

In C. S. Lewis’ book, the Last Battle, there is a scene describing a group of dwarfs sitting in a circle. They were oblivious to what was going around them. They believed that they were safe in a dark and empty shed. In reality, they were out in the open and the Sun was shining brightly. However, they only saw darkness. Everyone tried to convince them that it was Light to no avail. The dwarfs refused to believe anything but their version of reality. For them, there was only darkness and despair. Aslan, the Christ figure, prepared a sumptuous meal for them. They said that it tasted bitter and the food looked nasty. They were so consumed by their doubts that nothing good could be true. Their world was in a permanent state of darkness. Even Aslan could do nothing for them. They had made their choice. There was no room for Light in their souls.

During Holy Week, Mary and I were walking home from where we usually meet the homeless youth. We have to walk pass a sketchy part of the city. This area in the past was known as “Mouth of Trash”. In the past, there were shootouts and other violent activities in this area. Things have gotten better since then. However, it is still considered a dangerous area. We walk past it every day and we are a familiar face to that area. However, this time there was a blackout and it was about 8 o’clock in the evening. The whole area was pitch black. Only a handful of businesses had generators. The most of the apartment buildings were old and none of them were equipped with one. The streets had tons of people sitting around waiting for the power to come back. There were areas which were completely dark and abandoned. The blackout made them look more ominous than usual. These were the areas where the drug addicts usually hide to use their toxic substances. Needless to say, all the elements to make this place more dangerous than usual were present. Moreover, to make matters, there was no police around. We were abandoned to the elements. We walked about thirty minutes through this area in complete darkness. Strangely, we were not afraid. The most amazing thing was nothing happened. No one got robbed in an area usually known for thefts. There was no looting. No cars were stolen. Nothing happened. The blackout lasted for 24 hours, yes, we have an incompetent electrical service in the biggest city in Latin America. The media hardly reported on the incident except for a few measly lines about the blackout because there was nothing to say. People did not murder nor rob their neighbors. The most dangerous area of the city survived the blackout without any major crimes. There was not enough information to feed those who were consumed by darkness to affirm their constant state of doubt. We got home that night safely like every other night. We were surrounded by darkness but it did not prevail.

Sometimes people tell us how things are falling apart in the world. I admit that I do this also. When we are gather together with my friends, I tell them that things are getting from bad to worse. I stand by this statement. Every year the homeless situation here gets worse. We are seeing families living in the streets with their children. The local government is doing nothing to alleviate the plight of the homeless. Instead they force them to keep moving from location to location without providing any concrete solution. They made laws forbidding restaurants from giving leftovers to the homeless. Things are not getting better. However, it does not mean Light is not present. It does not mean God has abandoned us. Sometimes I doubt if God is really doing something. I bring my doubts to the streets and see Jesus always present showing me His wounds. Every time we bring our doubts to Him, He renews our faith in such a way that we have the courage to join Thomas and say, “My Lord and My God!” with renewed conviction. My doubts have strengthened my faith. I believe they will strengthen yours, too. As long as we are open to the Truth, despite our doubts, then these same doubts can be a blessing to our faith.

And this is the judgement, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God. John 3:19-21

This week, Light was shed to reveal something disturbing.

We got reacquainted with some of the homeless youth whom we haven’t seen for some time. Most of them are older now, maybe in their late teens or early twenties. They were very affectionate and hugged us. Some of them we have known for years. We have colored, played games, and talked with them since they were little children. We have many wonderful memories of them. We know that all of them had great potential to be good and loving people. Unfortunately, they were gathered to together to rob innocent people in the subway station. We have been doing this long enough to see the signs. We knew what was going to happen and our hearts were deeply saddened. These young people prefer to remain in the darkness. They are not, by nature, bad. They just like the darkness. They want to remain in it. They are so consumed by what they want that they are indifferent to the woes of their victims. There is a name for the root of these evil deeds. It was given in the past but has fallen into disuse in recent times. Not because it has lost its relevance. Most probably we prefer to hide it in the dark. The name of this evil was known as acedia. Sometimes it is referred to as spiritual or mental sloth or, in more concrete terms, a sense of apathy or indifference towards the suffering of others.

Over the years, we have had the misfortune of witnessing countless robberies. It is part and parcel of this ministry. The toughest thing is that usually the perpetrator is not unknown to us. On more than one occasion, we had to console the victims and weep within our souls for the sins of our own children. It is heart-breaking to see how they can commit such horrendous things without care and concern for the feelings of the victims. Unfortunately, this is how the world functions. We have seen thousands of people walk by homeless children and young teens, even families sleeping in the streets everyday without any care or compassion towards them. They treat them as invisible at best or as pests at worst. Everyone is too busy with their own lives that in order to survive and strive in this world we need to perfect this wickedness of acedia. We have even developed technologies to aid us with this. I can give more examples of this sin but I don’t want to dwell in darkness. There are more interesting things to focus on.

The Light shines brightly and darkness is powerless to resist it.

There are a group of homeless youth who have decided not to allow this evil to dwell in their hearts. These are the ones who have opened themselves to us. Recently, we had a talk with them about this matter. They shared with us that when they were younger, they used to steal just like the others. They said that it was almost impossible not to be involved because of the peer pressure. Rone shared that one day he robbed a drunk man in the streets. He wasn’t a drunk but someone who had too much to drink during an office outing. He was completely out of it and had an Ipad on him. Rone saw the opportunity and stole it without any resistance from his victim. However, before he could walk away, something touched his heart. He returned and gave the item back to the victim. I asked him what was the reaction of the victim. He told me that the guy was so out of it that he did not know anything had happened. Nevertheless, this was the last time he stole. Now, he survives by recycling and doing odd jobs. He even refuses to beg for his food because sometimes begging dehumanizes people who give. This is, perhaps, a topic for another reflection. Incidentally, this same young man introduced us to a new experience last week. He got some money together and asked our help to get a certain document. We agreed to do it for him. He wanted to meet for lunch before we do the documents. However, only on the condition that we allow him to pay for our lunch. We insisted that each person should pay for their own meal. He insisted that either we allow him to pay or he won’t go with us. We went to a cheap restaurant which was actually quite good. He had planned this for a while. He went around looking for a restaurant within his price range which would be appropriate for us. There are quite a number of scary restaurants here. We sat in the restaurant for more than two hours. No one realized that there was a world of homelessness which separated us. We shared a meal together as brothers and sister.

Rone and the others have similar stories why they stopped stealing and hurting others. They stay together and spend time with us during the day. In fact, we have increased our time in the streets which is a good thing. Bruno shared something interesting with us. He talked about his friendship with a woman who recently passed away. She was a bank officer. This woman used to give him money regularly but she spent time with him for hours sometimes. He said that he liked her honesty. She did not censor her words with him. Sometimes she confronted his lifestyle. Bruno uses drugs very often. Despite all this, she still helped him with money and food. Bruno said that he missed her friendship. She did not pretend that he was someone else rather than who he is. It comforted him. In a subtle way, Bruno is saying that he wants us to be honest with him always. We have been honest with him and also with the rest of the youth who are with us. They are drawn to honesty but only when it is seasoned with Love. The Light can be a terrible place if there is no unconditional Love and healing. These young people who decided not to steal are not saints by any means. They are drawn to the Light because they are touched by Love. They have responded to Love and it gave them the courage to leave behind their state of apathy and indifference towards the Light.

Those who walk in the Light are not perfect. In fact, walking in the Light highlights our imperfection. Rone and Bruno are very aware of their imperfections. To the contrary, the ones who robbed think that they are basically good people. This is generally the attitude of those who live in the world of indifference and apathy. They are often times lost in the darkness of self-righteousness. The Light gives the courage to see ourselves as who we are. This courage gives the strength to shed the sin of acedia within us; the indifference towards the suffering of others. In the darkness, there are countless excuses to justify our apathy but in the Light, Love reveals a better way to live our lives. It is not a perfect one. However, there is a simple promise for those who respond the calling of Love to walk in the Light.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John1:7

Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’ Mark 8:31-33

Peter was right! Jesus was saying something completely absurd. Of course, we are reading this story from a different perspective. We have the aid of our doutrines and dogmas to help us interpret the words of Jesus. We have some guidelines to help us reason the absurd death of our Lord. Peter was not so privileged. He was part of a community which had prepared itself for the coming of the Messiah for centuries. They had glorious expectations. When Peter confessed that Jesus was the Christ, he believed that all the injustice and oppression would vanish in the world. Peace was going to reign forever. You know, like in the carols we sang not too long ago.

Jesus predicted the opposite. He spoke about being subjected to rejection, torture, death and dismay. These are not the words of hope. Peter could not believe that the Son of Man was going to submit to these things. He was supposed to overcome them. He felt that it was his duty to set things right and orientate Jesus on what was expected of the Christ. Inadvertently, he ended up being the devil in the process. This is a tough lesson for us all if we understand its implications. There is a tendency in us to restrict how God should act in our midst, especially if it goes against what we believe to be a sound and logical way for Him to do so. Maybe we can use the Bible, our doctrinal convictions, and cultural mindset to justify our actions. We are in the season of Lent. Therefore, it is also good to remind ourselves that all the people who pleaded for the death of our Lord believed in their hearts that they were doing something good according to their system of logic.

Hannah Arendt, a German Jewish philosopher, attended the trials of Nuremberg, expecting to see monsters being judged for their heinous crimes against humanity. Instead, she saw ordinary men and women, in many ways just like her, who committed despicable acts. Most of them were convinced that their actions were necessary and right. It is a disturbing idea but one which reminds us that we are without exception descendants of Fallen Humanity. We are tainted with sin. Our reasoning and outlook are infected with sin. We might have doctrines and ideas which appear to be lofty and divine but they are still tainted with imperfection. Sin is a word which we do not often use. Perhaps part of the reason is because it has been spoken about in a mistaken manner. In our reality, everyday we walk past street preachers who take pleasure in preaching a limited view of sin. They speak about it without addressing its true nature. Sin, for them, is limited to certain actions. This is not the Christian concept but closer to the Pharisaical idea of sin and purity. Sin is not specific actions. These are mere symptoms. If we just treat the symptoms and neglect to address the major issue, then we are no better off than before. Maybe we are worse off as Jesus explained in the parable,

‘When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting-place, but not finding any, it says, “I will return to my house from which I came.” When it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first.’ Luke 11:24-26

It is good to remind ourselves that in the gospel episode with Peter, he had just confessed that Jesus is the Messiah. He was instrumental in articulating the true ministry of our Lord. Even then, he was not immune from being influenced by the devil whom Jesus also describes as a mindset based on human wisdom. In other words, we need to be transformed in our thinking.

Thankfully, our Lord gives us a hopeful answer to help us out of this way of being. He tells us that we need to take up our Cross. In Jesus’ time, this meant a certain death. It does not sound hopeful for obvious reasons. Most of the time, people just skim through these verses and think they are specifically for those who have a vocation to be martyrs. In most cases, many hope that it won’t come to this for their personal situation. Perhaps there was a time when these verses were taken literally. For most of reading these verses here, this is not the case. However, it does not mean that they are not relevant to us in our present situation. We just have to go a little deeper and discover the absurd logic behind them. It is absurd because most of us want to live our lives furthest away from certain death. We do everything possible to avoid it. This is where the challenge lies. We need to let go of the illusion that we can have power and control over the world. A person who took up the Cross in Jesus’ time knew that everything has come to an end and there was no chance of changing it. We can submit to the fact that we have no control over how things unfold in this world and no control on how things unfold in our personal lives. Many refuse to admit this. In today’s conversations, people like to show how they built themselves up from nothing. The reality is that this is the reasoning of the fallen humanity. We started this season of Lent with these words,

“Remember that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.”

Everything which comes in between these two periods of our life, we have to consider carefully. Jesus tells us to pick up our Cross so that we will not waste our time dwelling on foolish and irrelevant things which our human wisdom claims to be important.

Recently, I have been reading a book reflecting on the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. The story is about a mortal who thought he could fool the gods and ended being punished for eternity by pushing a rock up the hill only for it to roll back down to where he began. His punishment was to engage in this meaningless task for eternity. It reminded me of the story of the Fall. It reminded me of our ministry in the streets. We have done this ministry on and off since the mid 1990s. The situation has yet to change. In all probability, it will never change. There will always be new homeless children. They will grow up and become adults living in the streets. Perhaps a few will find a better life but it may not be great and a vast majority will live and die homeless or very close to homelessness. If I was a logical person, I would say that Jesus should change this situation. He did say that anything we ask in His Name, He will do. We pray for permanent change. There was one. There was an increase in violence and hatred towards the homeless children and youth. It wasn’t quite what we expected and it went against what we believed was the reasonable way God should act. There was a choice for us. We could abandon everything or attempt to understand God’s logic in this situation. The latter requires that we allow the former to die. Only then we can discover the Hope present in this hopeless situation. Thankfully, we see the absurd wisdom of God in our circumstances and they are indeed full of hope.

Peter had to let his idea of the Messiah die. Jesus’ harsh words were justified because Peter would have easily fallen in with the crowd if he had held on to his idea of the Christ. He had to die to his own ideas in order to discover the Hope manifested on the Cross.

The call to take our Cross is not about embracing martyrdom. It is about dying to our own so-called logical wisdom and embracing the absurdness of the Kingdom of God.

As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. Mark 1:29-31

Sometimes it is the simple and short accounts in the gospels that are the hardest to interpret. Sometimes these stories are so familiar that we convince ourselves that we know everything there is to know about them. The fact that all first three gospels recount this episode tells us that something profound has occurred which has impacted the hearts and minds of the gospel writers.

As in most of the healing accounts in the gospels, we know very little about the person being healed. Nevertheless, we have details on how Jesus went about healing her. He treated her with great tenderness and affection. He took her by her hand and lifted her up. I will just focus on this for our reflection.

This is not the first time that the gospels described the tenderness of Jesus in the healing process. The same gospel relates another account immediately after this where Jesus touched a leper before healing him. It seems like a simple gesture and can be easily overlooked. Our minds tend to focus on the big things because we have been programmed to think that great things come in a grandiose manner. The Kingdom of God is different. It expresses itself in small and unassuming actions.

I just finished reading a memorial of a well-known Brazilian oncologist. He was one of the principal actors in helping Brazil deal with the Aids epidemic in the nineties. Besides this, he also dedicated almost forty years serving as a volunteer in the penitentiary system of São Paulo. It happened by chance. He was asked to give an educational talk on the HIV virus and how to prevent its dissemination. After the lecture, the warden asked him if he could examine some sick prisoners who had been waiting for medical attention for months. Very few doctors were willing to serve these prisoners. He examined his first patient. He placed his stethoscope on his chest and gently placed his hand on the prisoner’s shoulder. Then the prisoner turned around and told him, “You have conquered a hardened criminal with your gentle touch.” The doctor later discovered that all the doctors who had previously examined the prisoners refused to have any physical contact with the prisoners. This doctor commented that he did not understand how these doctors could examine someone without touching them. It is easy. They disliked the people they served. Soon this doctor conquered the hearts of the incarcerated. Someone we know told us that when she was imprisoned, all the prisoners wanted to be attended by this doctor. There was a four months wait and all of them thought it was worth it. He was a Light of healing in their dark world.

“Don’t touch! Is dirty!”

In almost every context, this would be considered a cruel and insulting phrase. However, it is one of the funniest things we heard in the streets. One of the older youth, who has a dry sense of humor, was secretly learning English phrases to impress us. Bruno always give us a hug whenever he sees us and at the opportune moment, Rone blurted out this phrase. The timing was perfect. Everyone laughed including Bruno after we explained its meaning. Both Bruno and Rone are opposites. Bruno is always dressed in soiled and tattered clothes. Anyone looking at him would say that he is the stereotypical homeless youth. Rone, on the other hand, is always well dressed. Very few people realize that he is actually homeless.

Bruno survives by begging but he never asks for money. Instead he wears old and torn clothes and sits quietly in the corner. People give him money all the the time and buy him food. In fact, the rest of the teens sometimes wait around for him to bring over donated food to them. We have tried giving Bruno clean clothes. Actually sometimes Rone finds nice clean clothes for him. He is good at scavenging through donations to find something good. Bruno takes these cleans clothes and rips them at certain spots. Then he does something to do them to make them look dirty. He is convinced that in order to get any attention from the general public, he has to play the part of a stereotypical homeless person.

Bruno is actually a very tactile person. He likes to hug and show affection. I think it is important for him to know that we will reciprocate, despite his appearance. There is something going on here. Perhaps it is sad resignation on his part that no matter what he does in life, people will always see him as a dirty homeless person.

Rone is very different. He refuses to have any physical contact. He has accepted the fact that he is an untouchable. Most of the time, he pretends that he does not want any contact with people. He greets everyone with a fist bump. He claims that it is his fear of Covid but in reality, it is a lie. He admitted this to us. His life is a tragic tale. Recently, he told us that he is going to commemorate 17 years of being homeless. His used his sense of humor again to deal with this dire situation. He told us that on several occasions he saw his relatives in the streets and ran away and hid from them. He did not want them to see him and refused to talk to them. He never told us why he was homeless. There is some trauma involved which connects him with the other children and teens even though he is much older than them. This is the link binding all our children and youth together.

Not too long ago, it was Rone’s birthday. We decided to buy a simple gift for him and a liter of Grape Fanta. This is his favorite soft drink but it is quite expensive here in Brazil; well, expensive for someone living in the streets. We arranged to meet somewhere else because our teens have a little bit of the jealous nature. They don’t tend to like it when someone else gets more attention than usual. It is quite natural, I suppose. We actually ended up spending the whole day with him. At the end of our time, he said goodbye and I held out my fist but he opened his arms and hugged us. I was a little taken aback. It was a simple gesture. Perhaps one which is often taken for granted but for Rone, it was something special. There was a barrier which was overcome. Nowadays, he walks with us whenever we head for home. He walks part of the way and told us that one day he wants to have tea in our home. He even gave us a beautiful tea pot for the occasion. He saw someone trying to get rid of it and he kept it for us. We invited him to our place months ago but he refused then because he wasn’t sure if he was truly welcomed. Now, he knows that he has a place in our home.

Healing comes in a simple gestures. Sometimes these simple acts speak volumes. We should not attempt to reduce healing to one or two actions. We should never glamorize healings as they do in some places. The foundation of an act of healing is not the physical contact but Love. When a simple gesture is performed on the basis of Love, its significance can be sensed in the soul of the person receiving it. It opens up hearts. It overcomes barriers and eradicates lies. Sometimes people feel like they are incapable of doing great and marvelous things for the Kingdom of God. They confuse God’s standards with those of the world. Jesus said the greatest in the Kingdom is the servant of all. A servant does simple things which no one wants to do. In the streets, we see people who spend great sums of money on the homeless. Sometimes we see people come in busloads and do all kinds of spectacular things for the poorest of the poor. All these are good but most of our children and youth hardly remember any of these folks after they are gone. Sometimes they introduce us to people who hardly have done anything spectacular or complex. Most of the time, they are people who just smile at them and spend a few minutes talking to them. Sometimes they are just people who shake their hands. Simple gestures but they are done with great love.

Going back to the oncologist, he wrote that in the prisons where he served, there is hardly anything in the clinic. Many times he would only have a white sterile desk and a completely impersonal room. Many times he has only a stethoscope to attend to the prisoners but he was amazed how much healing occurred in the room just by listening and talking to the patients. It is not the listening and talking which helps people but the Love which is the foundation of these actions.

The apostles saw great Love expressed in the simple gestures of our Lord Jesus.

They were astounded at his teaching, for Jesus taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, ‘What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.’ But Jesus rebuked him, saying, ‘Be silent, and come out of him!’ Mark 1:22-25

Jesus spoke with authority.

It is a little dangerous to leave this undefined. It can be different things to different people. An authoritative figure can mean someone who is knowledgable and reliable to guide us. At the same, it could mean someone who is a tyrant and demeaning. Once I read this very passage with a homeless youth and he was confused. He asked if Jesus was like the police. Unfortunately, in the streets, the police establish their authority through violence and intimidation. It is not just the police but society in general also does this. Well, it is the way of the world. Wars present and past are about establishing one’s authority over another one. Violence and authority are often indistinguishable.

Jesus acted with authority but it was unlike that of the scribes. These people are the ones who were supposed to define the proper and right behavior of the people according to God’s Law. In other words, they were the ethical teachers of that time. They knew their stuff but it lacked authority. Knowing something does not suffice.

Before proceeding, there is an important question to consider; what is the purpose of authority or rather, what role does it play in our lives? It seems like we, as humans, need someone to guide us. Even the most independent person has someone as their guide in life. We need someone to trust and guide us. Trust is voluntary. No one can force us to trust but we can be forced to obey. This is the problem. The scribes had authority. They demanded trust but, most likely, the people just obeyed them. It is probable that this was achieved through social pressure and manipulation, something which is still very present in contemporary religious practice, unfortunately. Jesus was different. There was no pressure nor social manipulation. The people heard him and trusted him with their lives. The scribes were trained in the scriptures but their words did not inspire Life in the people. The people heard Jesus say the same words but something stirred within their souls. These words brought forth healing and life in their souls and also exposed the agents of death in their midst.

In the gospels, these agents are sometimes identified as demons.

Most of us live in a world where demons do not play a crucial role in our daily life. Therefore, our minds might be tempted to ignore this gospel passage or not give it too much attention. However, demons do exist. Perhaps not in the caricatural manner in which they have been frequently presented. We need to interpret demons in a manner relevant to our daily spiritual life. The demonic manifestations recorded in the gospels today can be defined as mental illness in some cases and epileptic episodes in others. Back then, medical science was in its primitive state. It is understandable why anyone would define these symptoms as demonic attacks. We have seen many epileptic episodes in the streets. It did seem like the person’s body was taken over by something strange. However, medical knowledge has advanced since then and it has given us different names and medications to address these conditions. Perhaps, indirectly it has helped us to discern true demonic presence in our midst.

What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. Matthew 15:18-19

Demonic manifestations come from within us. They are words and thoughts which not only inspire but result in death producing actions. They also seek to contaminate the people around to adopt these destructive attitudes. Even in the passage in the gospel reading, the demons, despite confessing the Lordship of Jesus, tried to entice him to destroy them just like they destroyed everything in their path. They wanted to reduce Jesus to be just like them. Our Lord refused to succumb to their temptation. Instead He demanded their silence and ordered them to abandon their death inducing activities. If He was of this world, He would destroyed them because this world only knows one form of authority. Jesus is the Savior, in other words, He is a Healing presence and refuses to destroy even those who are perceived as deserving of destruction such as the demons.

The scribes were just like the rest of the world. All their knowledge and spiritual wisdom did not inform them how to act differently in society. They had authority in their community but it wasn’t a life giving one. Jesus was different and He is the One whom we need to follow. After all, if we say that we worship Him, then the highest form of worship is imitation. This then beckons the question on how can we live out the kind of authority Jesus manifested. It is not something we can learn from a book. It is not something we can gain through our actions. We can only receive this through His grace. The only thing we can do is to be open and available to the Holy Spirit to bestow this authority in our lives.

I always wanted to share this story about one of the most unlikeable boys in the streets. I don’t want to create any expectation that he eventually became our favorite boy. This never happened so there is no traditional happy ending here. I will say that he became slightly less unlikeable. However, through him we learned an important lesson.

His name is Davi just like the Psalmist King in the Old Testament but without the charm and poetry. He always was an antagonistic boy and never really respected us. We never had any falling out with him. He was just an aggressive and difficult boy. One day we were coloring with the other teens and he asked if he could join us. Naturally, we welcomed his participation. He took a page from our book and ripped it off. Then he proceeded to do the same with other books. I stopped him and asked him what he was doing. He did not respond and continued destroying our books. Of course, we stopped him by taking away the book. My mind ran through a series of actions which would teach this young boy a lesson or two on who is in-charge. The only reason I did not act on them is because I am an older person and should act according to my age. The thing which made me really angry is that we were having a rarer peaceful moment with the teens before he joined us.

All the other teens were a little shocked by his utter disrespect and they left without creating a scene. The whole incident disturbed us and increased our dislike for this boy more. Thankfully the following day he was gone and we did not see him for weeks. However, he left a bad taste in my mouth. I sensed bitterness building up in my heart towards him whenever I thought about him. A few weeks later, he returned. We were doing the same activity and he wanted to join us. We were quite weary but decided to give him a chance. This time, he sat down and said that he had acted very disrespectfully towards us and he didn’t know why. He asked for our forgiveness. We did not expect this from him. In a way, it melted our hearts and took away all ill feelings towards him. I told him that we forgave him and thanked him for having the courage to ask for forgiveness. He shook our hands and said that he wasn’t in the mood to color but he really just wanted our forgiveness. We did not see him after that time. However, after some time, I got a friend request from him on Facebook. I did think twice before accepting it.

Demons slipped into Davi’s life since he was young. He has always lived according to their bidding. However, something happened that day, not just in his life but in all of us including the teens who were with us. We saw how God can move and bring Life into the most hardened hearts. At first, Davi rejected Life and then he decided to open his heart to it. He is far from being a saint but he has shown us that he is not beyond the grasp of Divine Love. We were invited by the Holy Spirit to participate in this process through the simple act of forgiveness which is the most precious fruit of Love. It is the principal way we can open and avail ourselves to do what God is doing in this world. It is the way we can recognize His authority in this world. This age seeks to repay an eye for eye. Our Lord seeks to heal and restore and the very first step is forgiveness. If we cannot forgive, then we will never understand the authority which Jesus has in this world. Then we can never be open and available in this world to reveal the true nature of Jesus’ authority. It is not easy but nothing good is.

Nathanael replied, ‘Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!’ Jesus answered, ‘Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.’ And he said to him, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.’ John 1:49-51

Every day for past few months, we walk past a homeless adult living in a little makeshift tent-like structure made out of plywood scraps. Ironically, it sits opposite the entrance of an expensive hotel for business executives. We never actually saw the homeless person initially, only his two intimidating looking dogs with a lot of Rottweiler in them. One day we happened to walk by when he was out and about. As we passed him, he remarked that he couldn’t believe that we are still around after all these years. At first, we were little puzzled. Then almost Immediately a name popped into my mind and I hollered out, “Clayton!” I was a little embarrassed for my overtly enthusiastic outburst. I was actually more impressed with myself that I still remembered his name after 27 years. His face bears the harshness of time. However, his smile recalls the young boy we first met when we ourselves were much younger.

My memories of him are a little vague. I remember that he was part of a group of boys who lived in a manhole. Back then, the homeless children and youth lived lived in whatever hole or tiny abandoned space they could find in the streets. Unfortunately, not much has changed since then. On several occasions he invited me to visit his underground home. I remembered contemplating doing it. I must have been much more adventurous or maybe extremely curious back then. However, when I saw the dark tunnel without any ventilation, visions of unknown critters and strange smells made me change my mind. Besides his strange abode, I don’t have vivid memories of him. Nevertheless, I remembered him being always happy to see us for no apparent reason.

He is 40 now. The first thing he wanted us to know is that he will never forget our love and affection. The truth of the matter is that we represent something symbolic for him. I am not underplaying our role here. There were streams of people over the years who showered love and concern for the homeless children even though a major part of society ignores them. It is not humility but a fact. Furthermore, it is important for us, as followers of Christ, to know that God is always actively involved in the lives of these little ones. Moreover, it is essential to recognize that the Holy Spirit is not restricted to those who profess the faith. He uses anyone who is available. Many times His instruments of Love do not realize that they are His instruments. Many of these people are not around anymore. It is apparent that Clayton needed someone concrete to show his gratitude. We just happened to be the privileged ones and he made our day.

On another occasion, some acquaintances, who gave us a ride home in their car, drove by Clayton’s tent. I took the opportunity to share about our chance reconnection. For us, it was a happy encounter. However, it was obvious that our acquaintances had a hard time appreciating our joy. It was not a success story. Clayton is still homeless and has never found a way out of it. It was difficult for them to look beyond the overwhelmingly sad and tragic situation to partake in our joy. I understand their sentiments. There is nothing positive nor romantic about homelessness. It is indeed a tragedy and sign of utter failure and hopelessness. Perhaps this is why many avoid the homeless. They reveal an uncomfortable truth. We live in a fragmented world. Some may create an illusionary existence to help them ignore this fact. Our homeless children and youths were never given the luxury to participate in this illusion. Therefore, they have become outsiders who remind the world of this uncomfortable truth. We used to think that our primary task or ministry was to help these young people become insiders. We were part of society. We participate in its illusions, too. Naturally, we thought that everyone needs to be part of it to enjoy the gospel to the fullest. However, we forget John the Baptist was an outsider. Our Lord made special efforts to be an outsider. He refused many times to be a prominent insider because abundant life is not dependent on making this fragmented world better.

The very first lesson our children learned from this world is that it did not want them. They were not given any part in society. Their families had such heavy burdens to carry that they could not afford to prove them otherwise. They had no sense of personhood.
Their journey to the streets was their final attempt to discover their identity and individuality. Their relationships and experiences in the streets helped them develop who they are as individuals. In other words, homelessness is an integral part of their personhood. They don’t know how to be somebody outside this environment. It is quite tragic but it is reality. However, it is not a problem peculiar to our homeless youth. Most of us perambulate up and down in our social circles in search of our identity too. We develop our identity within our limited social circles. At the same time, we are also constantly aware how fragile these circles are and how easy it is for us to lose our space in them. Some times we shudder to think what would become of us if we were lose everything which guarantees our identity. In the same way, our children are afraid that they might lose something integral to their identity if they leave the streets.

We don’t remember much about Clayton because we were trying to solve his problems instead of recognizing that he is an individual with thoughts, faith and even a personal philosophy of life. In other words, in our attempts to help him, he became a mere object of our project. Consequently, we became part of the problem. The whole reason he took refuge in homelessness was to discover his personhood. We failed to comprehend this because we associate homelessness with utter anonymity. However, the truth is that they were already anonymous before they became homeless. In this way, children and those who spent their infancy in the streets are different from homeless adults. These resign to a state of anonymity where as our children escape to the streets in search for their identity. Not all homeless are the same.

In the past, we were physically present in the streets but our minds was elsewhere. We were busy trying to solve problems beyond our capacity. Besides, Clayton did not ask us to resolve anything. He just wanted someone to recognize that he is a person. It is not merely knowing his name. He wants to be someone whom others enjoy being around. This is really what all of us desire. We want our presence in this world to be appreciated by someone. We want people to know that we have something significant to say about the important things in life. Perhaps society might not think that the homeless have anything relevant to say. In a way, this might be true. The way society defines success, it excludes the homeless from the conversation. However, as followers of Christ, we have different topics of conversation. Clayton, like most of our children and youth, has a strong faith. It may not be a perfect one but none of us have this. Despite all the hardship and miseries they have suffered in life, they are convinced that God has never abandoned them. They have something to share with us which will enrich our spirituality.

Even though, we were busy focusing on the problem, something in our souls made us obey the nudging of the Holy Spirit. Clayton knew that we liked him as a person. He remembered us as such. Now, we have the opportunity to know him more profoundly. Every day we pass by to see if he is there. During the day, he goes around looking for recyclable products and sells them at a junk yard. He survives by doing this. Whenever we walk by, he always smiles and waves at us. The gracious Spirit has given us another opportunity to see Clayton as a person; someone whose faith has helped him make sense of the world in which he lives. He has an understanding of the love and providence of God that perhaps we would not comprehend. He has something precious to share with us just as much as we have something to share with him. It is not about solving problems but recognizing that we have something wonderful and special to give to each other because our God is gracious and powerful to do miracles in all circumstances and situations.