Nathanael replied, ‘Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!’ Jesus answered, ‘Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.’ And he said to him, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.’ John 1:49-51

Every day for past few months, we walk past a homeless adult living in a little makeshift tent-like structure made out of plywood scraps. Ironically, it sits opposite the entrance of an expensive hotel for business executives. We never actually saw the homeless person initially, only his two intimidating looking dogs with a lot of Rottweiler in them. One day we happened to walk by when he was out and about. As we passed him, he remarked that he couldn’t believe that we are still around after all these years. At first, we were little puzzled. Then almost Immediately a name popped into my mind and I hollered out, “Clayton!” I was a little embarrassed for my overtly enthusiastic outburst. I was actually more impressed with myself that I still remembered his name after 27 years. His face bears the harshness of time. However, his smile recalls the young boy we first met when we ourselves were much younger.

My memories of him are a little vague. I remember that he was part of a group of boys who lived in a manhole. Back then, the homeless children and youth lived lived in whatever hole or tiny abandoned space they could find in the streets. Unfortunately, not much has changed since then. On several occasions he invited me to visit his underground home. I remembered contemplating doing it. I must have been much more adventurous or maybe extremely curious back then. However, when I saw the dark tunnel without any ventilation, visions of unknown critters and strange smells made me change my mind. Besides his strange abode, I don’t have vivid memories of him. Nevertheless, I remembered him being always happy to see us for no apparent reason.

He is 40 now. The first thing he wanted us to know is that he will never forget our love and affection. The truth of the matter is that we represent something symbolic for him. I am not underplaying our role here. There were streams of people over the years who showered love and concern for the homeless children even though a major part of society ignores them. It is not humility but a fact. Furthermore, it is important for us, as followers of Christ, to know that God is always actively involved in the lives of these little ones. Moreover, it is essential to recognize that the Holy Spirit is not restricted to those who profess the faith. He uses anyone who is available. Many times His instruments of Love do not realize that they are His instruments. Many of these people are not around anymore. It is apparent that Clayton needed someone concrete to show his gratitude. We just happened to be the privileged ones and he made our day.

On another occasion, some acquaintances, who gave us a ride home in their car, drove by Clayton’s tent. I took the opportunity to share about our chance reconnection. For us, it was a happy encounter. However, it was obvious that our acquaintances had a hard time appreciating our joy. It was not a success story. Clayton is still homeless and has never found a way out of it. It was difficult for them to look beyond the overwhelmingly sad and tragic situation to partake in our joy. I understand their sentiments. There is nothing positive nor romantic about homelessness. It is indeed a tragedy and sign of utter failure and hopelessness. Perhaps this is why many avoid the homeless. They reveal an uncomfortable truth. We live in a fragmented world. Some may create an illusionary existence to help them ignore this fact. Our homeless children and youths were never given the luxury to participate in this illusion. Therefore, they have become outsiders who remind the world of this uncomfortable truth. We used to think that our primary task or ministry was to help these young people become insiders. We were part of society. We participate in its illusions, too. Naturally, we thought that everyone needs to be part of it to enjoy the gospel to the fullest. However, we forget John the Baptist was an outsider. Our Lord made special efforts to be an outsider. He refused many times to be a prominent insider because abundant life is not dependent on making this fragmented world better.

The very first lesson our children learned from this world is that it did not want them. They were not given any part in society. Their families had such heavy burdens to carry that they could not afford to prove them otherwise. They had no sense of personhood.
Their journey to the streets was their final attempt to discover their identity and individuality. Their relationships and experiences in the streets helped them develop who they are as individuals. In other words, homelessness is an integral part of their personhood. They don’t know how to be somebody outside this environment. It is quite tragic but it is reality. However, it is not a problem peculiar to our homeless youth. Most of us perambulate up and down in our social circles in search of our identity too. We develop our identity within our limited social circles. At the same time, we are also constantly aware how fragile these circles are and how easy it is for us to lose our space in them. Some times we shudder to think what would become of us if we were lose everything which guarantees our identity. In the same way, our children are afraid that they might lose something integral to their identity if they leave the streets.

We don’t remember much about Clayton because we were trying to solve his problems instead of recognizing that he is an individual with thoughts, faith and even a personal philosophy of life. In other words, in our attempts to help him, he became a mere object of our project. Consequently, we became part of the problem. The whole reason he took refuge in homelessness was to discover his personhood. We failed to comprehend this because we associate homelessness with utter anonymity. However, the truth is that they were already anonymous before they became homeless. In this way, children and those who spent their infancy in the streets are different from homeless adults. These resign to a state of anonymity where as our children escape to the streets in search for their identity. Not all homeless are the same.

In the past, we were physically present in the streets but our minds was elsewhere. We were busy trying to solve problems beyond our capacity. Besides, Clayton did not ask us to resolve anything. He just wanted someone to recognize that he is a person. It is not merely knowing his name. He wants to be someone whom others enjoy being around. This is really what all of us desire. We want our presence in this world to be appreciated by someone. We want people to know that we have something significant to say about the important things in life. Perhaps society might not think that the homeless have anything relevant to say. In a way, this might be true. The way society defines success, it excludes the homeless from the conversation. However, as followers of Christ, we have different topics of conversation. Clayton, like most of our children and youth, has a strong faith. It may not be a perfect one but none of us have this. Despite all the hardship and miseries they have suffered in life, they are convinced that God has never abandoned them. They have something to share with us which will enrich our spirituality.

Even though, we were busy focusing on the problem, something in our souls made us obey the nudging of the Holy Spirit. Clayton knew that we liked him as a person. He remembered us as such. Now, we have the opportunity to know him more profoundly. Every day we pass by to see if he is there. During the day, he goes around looking for recyclable products and sells them at a junk yard. He survives by doing this. Whenever we walk by, he always smiles and waves at us. The gracious Spirit has given us another opportunity to see Clayton as a person; someone whose faith has helped him make sense of the world in which he lives. He has an understanding of the love and providence of God that perhaps we would not comprehend. He has something precious to share with us just as much as we have something to share with him. It is not about solving problems but recognizing that we have something wonderful and special to give to each other because our God is gracious and powerful to do miracles in all circumstances and situations.

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah,[a] the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’ – Luke 2:8-12

Only God knows how many times Gabriel has tried to get a job. Unfortunately, it never sticks. His most recent endeavor was in a restaurant lasting for just a week. Nevertheless, it is his dream to find a regular job and be just a regular person. For him, this simply means not being homeless. It is a simple ambition. Before this restaurant job, he tried working as trash pickup person. He lasted for a week or two in that job. Then he ventured out to do some odd jobs which did not quite work out either.

Gabriel has been sleeping in the streets since he was 10 and he turns 23 this year. Everything he knows about life is based on his experience being homeless. No one taught him the lessons we learned through the implicit example of our parents or other adults in our lives; things such as working a regular job or how to behave socially in a work environment. A steady adult presence is missing in their lives. Despite these challenges, Gabriel keeps trying and maybe one day he will make it. Unfortunately, everything points to the fact that he might never make it.

Sadly, there are many like Gabriel and these are the ones we minister to on a regular basis. We have done things with them which are usually reserved for family members; we help them get their documents and register for military service. Brazil has conscripted military service. However, our teens are never enlisted. We even help them get their documents for employment. Deep down inside, we hope that one day they have gainful employment. However, we are beginning to see how rare this is. It seems like their condition of homelessness may become a permanent state.

I should be sharing a message of hope and joy instead of painting this dreary scenario. In reality, our ministry has helped us to have a profound understanding of the meaning of joy and peace promised in the Christmas message. There was a time I found it strange singing the cheerful Christmas carols when everything around us seemed to be bleak. For the past ten years, we have interacted with children and youth who have had everything precious they know stripped from them at a young age. There is not much of a future for any of them. Yet, every time we are with them, there is strong sense of hope and joy and this sense does not depend on the circumstances or situation in which we find ourselves. It comes from something deeper that words cannot express and gives us the assurance that the Divine Child is in our midst.

Unto us a Child is born. …and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

The first ones to hear the news of the birth of this child were the shepherds. They were just people who stayed and slept in the fields with their sheep. They did not hold a prestigious place in society but they were the first to know about the greatest news for all humanity. Suddenly these nobodies became somebodies due to the message of faith they received. Nevertheless, their status in the world did not change. They remained nobodies. In spite of this, they participated in the very first Christmas and saw the hope of humanity in the form of a vulnerable child. Their simple faith opened their eyes and ears to see things which many were unable to understand. The religious leaders and the royal court did not appreciate the presence of the little child. They were satisfied with their place in this world and chose not to listen to their faith for the fear of losing what they had. The shepherds had nothing of value to cling onto. Perhaps this helped them to be more sensitive to the voice of faith. They were open to discover new things because the old did not have a place for them.

Our children and youth in the streets have this faith too, albeit not all of them. Those who do have something concrete to say about the hope which they sense in the person of Jesus. They have a deep sense of hope and joy even though they know they may always be homeless. Many imagine being homeless as the worst possible thing in life and rightly so. I am one of them. Therefore, I found it hard to believe that these homeless youth could have peace and joy. Initially, I thought that they were eluding reality. Then I realized that they are more in touch with reality than I am. They may not be able to express it in a sophisticated way, but they are engaged with it. They may not understand all the social issues involved. However, they have simple faith. I cannot deny that there is genuine joy and hope present whenever we are together with them. We can see that their faith is real. The way they express it is different from us. It is easy for me to sing of joy and peace when I have a comfortable place to lay my head. I live my faith from a comfortable place. There is nothing wrong with this but it is important to know that the gospel is the gospel even in the worst possible situation. Our youth discovered their faith in the Divine Child when feeling abandoned and alone in this world. They know something about the Baby Jesus that we will never know.

Their social condition makes them hesitate or even be embarrassed to talk about their faith. However, it is the foundation giving them courage to face all the obstacles life has thrown at them. In the eyes of the world, they will remain irrelevant people who crowd the streets with their presence. For us, they remind us that this Infant Saviour has the power to bring hope and joy in ways which we can never imagine.The problem is that they have been so downtrodden that they think what they have received through their faith might be irrelevant for the rest of the world. A major part of our ministry is helping some children and youth share their faith encounters with the Divine Child with us. They have stories, powerful stories of faith. Whenever a person shares a story, they have a place in the heart and soul of those who listen to them.

Hopefully, this Christmas, our hearts and minds will be attentive to listen to the “shepherds” in our own community or families and allow their stories to reveal something beautiful and significant about this precious Child who has transformed our lives forever.

Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake. Mark 13:35-37

It is hard to believe that we are in the season of Advent once again. It is the beginning of the Liturgical year. The homeless youth are completely ignorant of this season. I doubt that they even know of its existence. In reality, not many evangelical Christians here, excluding the practicing Roman Catholics, know anything about this liturgical season. This is due to an uninteresting rivalry between the two traditions here. However, in general, most people seem to be fascinated with end times and the season of Advent is traditionally a time when we reflect about the Last Things.

In the streets, we have more than our share of doom and gloom preachers. I have mentioned them many times in my reflections. They are always around us and hard to ignore. To our horror, people do stop and listen to these dreadful messages. Our children, unfortunately, get most of their religious information from these preachers. They spent a lot of time and energy drawing attention to all the evil prevalent in society and how the world is falling apart. There is no Light in their message. There is no gospel in their world view. It is a perspective negating the active presence of God in this world.

We are a people awaiting for the King to return and establish His Kingdom in its plenitude. At the same time, this is a curious thing because we believe that He is still present in our midst in a real manner. Our Anglican tradition affirms this every Sunday. In our liturgy, we have a high view of the sacrament of the Holy Communion. In the liturgical organization of our church, the altar takes the center stage. As long as I can remember, we have had the practice of having weekly communion even though this was not always the case. Now it is an essential part of our worship. Most churches define how the presence of Christ Jesus is manifested during Communion. We believe that Christ is present in a real and concrete manner without defining how or where He manifests Himself. In this way, we safeguard ourselves from slipping into idolatry and superstition, as well as keeping ourselves faithful to the words of Jesus,

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20

The point here is not make an apology for Anglicanism. It is just to state that every Sunday we remind ourselves that if Jesus can be present in the sharing of the bread and wine, then He can very well be present anywhere He pleases in this world. Therefore, it is essential we keep this in mind when we interpret the words of Jesus when He tells us to keep awake.

The world has been going downhill since the day our Lord ascended. This is not a modern phenomenon. Perhaps, we have the technology now to make things move along faster. Nevertheless, there have always been wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters. The threat to our very existence has always been there. We cannot deny this. However, despite its ominous presence, there is an eternal Light present and darkness cannot resist it. Jesus tells us to keep awake because it is easy to fall into slumber of inertia. If we allow the darkness to overwhelm us, we might be tempted to recoil and wait for Jesus to resolve all our problems. This is not what Jesus is saying.

Our children and youth in the streets are isolated from the world. I mean they are not upset by the latest news of wars. If there is a natural disaster somewhere in the world, they are oblivious to it. It is not that they are apathetic. Their worlds have fallen apart long time ago. They have always lived in a broken world and feel it deeply. They don’t need the news to remind them of it. They see violence and injustice on daily basis. They don’t need any reminders. As for death, it lives very close to them. Yet, they still have hope. It is not blind hope as some might assume. It is hope that is more grounded in reality than any of us could imagine. This week, we had a special encounter with Wallace. He had his usual cheerful demeanor, however, just before we met him, he had a negative experience with an elderly man. The man had walked past him and then turned around and started hurling insults and demeaning comments at Wallace. It was completely gratuitous. The intention was to make Wallace feel small and insignificant. Thankfully, he decided not to react and just move away to another location. Obviously the whole incident upset him. It upset us just listening to it. He just needed to share it with someone.

This is the problem of the darkness in this world. It is not satisfied with wielding its power and showing off its feats. It wants to dominate our thoughts and minds. The homeless youth like Wallace want to avoid it but they can’t. It haunts them just like it haunts most of us who want to be good and do what is right. We are tormented by news of cruelty and evil in this world. Sometimes the very people we call family can become agents of darkness. However, despite all these attacks, homeless youth like Wallace, and there are a few like him, have kept themselves away from the claws of darkness. He himself told us that there are many people whom he meets on a daily basis that affirm the fact that God is alive and taking care of him. In a simple manner, Wallace has articulated what it means to keep awake in this world.

There are many homeless youth, ranging from children to young adults. They have all been homeless since they were very young. Tragically, only a handful of them are able to keep themselves from bad influences. They share a similar characteristic. They are open and available to people even after countless of negative experiences. If one were ask why they maintain this attitude, they will say that there are always people who show them love and kindness. It seems like something so simple. It is the simple things in life that are the hardest. Jesus tells us to keep awake. We can interpret this as being open to see what God is doing in this world. He is not acting on the grand stages of world politics, neither is He doing anything in which the media might be interested. In the temptation of Jesus, He clearly rejected this option when the devil suggested it. However, He is actively present in this world. I am not going to say how and where because I am an Anglican. We recognize that God is free to act where and how He chooses. We just have to be open for it to happen. It can be anywhere, and anytime, among anyone, but we need to be open; our eyes and our ears need to be sensitive to discern His presence. It could be right before your very eyes. Maybe even in your home. Being open is just part of it. We need to be available because keeping awake is not a spectator sport. It is an invitation to participate. We avail ourselves to be God’s instrument of blessing and we also avail ourselves to receive from God. The opportunity comes to those who are watching attentively what our Lord is doing. This is our vocation. We are to watch attentively all the great and marvelous things God is doing. Many times they seem small and perhaps are brushed off as insignificant by many. However, those who keep awake know that these are signs that the Kingdom of God is among us. When we are faithful in the little, then we will be ready for the great things.

For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 25:29-30

“I don’t have many talents!” I have heard this said many times whenever we read this parable in a bible study. On this occasion it was a young teenager who said it. Ironically, later on life, she proved to be quite a talented person. When I was younger and a little bit more ambitious, I wanted to know what I needed to do to get more talents. I thought more was better. Nevertheless, this parable is not about how many talents we possess. The one with many talents is not considered more important than the one with less. We have a tendency to interpret this text according to the values of this world. In most modern societies, more is considered better except for debts and taxes. You know what I mean. We live in this world. We understand its language and we speak it. Therefore, there is a danger here. We might think of this parable in the terms of this world. However, it is about the Kingdom of God. There is also a disturbing element to it. The verses speak to taking away from those who have nothing and giving to those who have much. It sounds like Kingdom of God is like an inverted Robin Hood, a nightmarish idea for those who desire a more just society.

The gospel of Jesus is deeply grounded in reality. It doesn’t paint a rosy picture of life, neither does it promote a gloom and doom perspective. The parable is merely stating the natural consequences of life. When I was younger, I lived in Indonesia for a brief period. I spoke the local language quite fluently but not perfectly. However, it has been more than thirty years since I have used the language. Recently, in a store in São Paulo, I heard an Indonesian couple speaking to each other, the words were familiar but the language is almost gone in me. It is still there dormant. I need to use it in order to get it back. However, in the way I live my life now, it is most probable that one day it will be completely gone.

When we don’t use or value the things we have, one day we will eventually lose them. It is not because we don’t like them nor fail to see their importance. It is because we have other priorities which we believe deserve our time and energy. The servant with the one talent wasn’t a lazy servant. He just had other priorities. Jesus did not teach all these things in isolation. They are connected with the previous lessons like the parable of the wedding banquet where the guests had different priorities and refused to attend. They eventually lost what belonged to them and it was given to someone else. In that parable, it was those who apparently have nothing in the world who benefitted. It gives our children and teens a lot of hope. Nevertheless, according to the standard of this world, they have nothing. Unfortunately, they are not immune from this reality. Many times, the little that they have is taken away from them.

Most of our homeless youth possess backpacks. Usually they find one in the trash or one is given to them by a passerby. We have given them several backpacks, too. These backpacks contain all their worldly possessions which are not much; some clothes, toothpaste and little things that are precious to them like photographs or gifts they had received. The way they pack their things reveals a part of their personality. Wallace has all his clothes neatly folded and he keeps his toothbrush and all his toiletries separate. He even kept a t-shirt we gifted to him years ago on his birthday. Every inch of his backpack is used and everything is neat and tidy. It is amazing to see how this young man who has slept in the streets since he was eight organizes everything systematically. Bruno, on the other hand, is total chaos. Anything new he puts in his backpack will look like something from the ruins of ancient civilization after two days. However, there is one thing he values highly. It is his notebook and red and blue pens. He writes in his notebook every night. He goes through a new notebook within a few weeks. He writes things he remembers from when he was a child in the orphanage especially things he learned in school. This was the best time in his life. He loved school. Often he talks about it. Obviously, it is either fantasy or reality mixed together or he attended the most advanced public school in the world. Recently, Bruno put his backpack down to talk to someone and within seconds, it was gone. The trash pickup people removed it. All his clothes and belongings were gone. He had so little and yet, it was taken away from him. However, Bruno wasn’t upset. He had his most precious treasure with him. His notebook was with him. In fact, he was writing down someone’s number in it when the trash truck came by. He was happy that he did not lose his book.

The book contains a list of movies and they are listed according the year of their release and nomination for the oscars. He has them all memorized. He also writes little phrases in English and tries them out with us. He gets them all wrong but he doesn’t care. Everything he writes is used as a point of communication with people. He can tell you about names of directors and actors from the late fifties which never fails to impress. Sometimes he gets the plots mixed up and usually no one notices because most people are ignorant of movies from that era. Only reason I notice is because I have heard him talk about these things for almost ten years. Bruno’s book is his bridge connecting him to people outside his circle. He chose movies because whenever someone engages in conversation about them, they tend to forget that he is a homeless young man. The subject helps him to talk to them as equals. On the outside, he looks like the stereotypical homeless person. His clothes are a mess and always stained. Sometimes they have holes in them. He walks around barefooted. Somehow this appearance has worked for him. No matter how you look at him, no one in their right mind would say that Bruno is a successful person. He has his issues but it doesn’t mean he is not successful. He doesn’t have wealth and in the eyes of many, not much of a future. However, none of us can be certain of our future. As for wealth, this parable is not talking about wealth in the worldly sense.

There is an elderly woman. I think she is a Chinese immigrant. It is obvious that she lives alone. Every day she passes by Bruno and talks with him for a long time; not about movies but just general stuff. Then she goes home and prepares her lunch and brings down a plate for him. Bruno knows that she has no relatives nor friends. I have seen the food she prepares for him and it looks really good. He always begs outside a bank. One of the bank managers comes out to smoke where he sits. They have struck up a friendship. Eventually all the bank managers became his friends. They pitched in and bought a book on all the movies nominated for the Oscars. Every time one of them goes on holiday, they buy something for him. Bruno is one of the few homeless youth who has eaten authentic Oreo cookies from the States. There is also a young man who loves to sit next to Bruno and chat with him for hours. He is the son of one of the biggest businesses in the area. They have a strong friendship. The list goes on and on.

Bruno is not a saint and doesn’t claim to be one. A long time ago, we had a conversation about giving. I told him that even though he begs to survive, it doesn’t mean that he cannot give. I told him that there are many lonely people that don’t see or talk to anyone except when they talk to him in the streets. It was a simple conversation and I did not expect anything from it. However, Bruno listened. He has taken the little he had and produced much with it. He has blessed many people who otherwise will be lonely and without any friends. In doing so, he has regained much of his humanity and dignity even though his situation is not ideal.

Bruno has other priorities too, just like any one of us. They used to dominate his life when we first met him. He was one of the youth who was always high whenever we saw him. There was a time when he was never sober. Today he is different, not necessarily without any issues. However, love seems to slowly help him balance out his life. There is still a long way to go and this is true for all of us. At least for now, he is using his talent to produce good and precious fruits. There is a lot we can learn from this young man. It is not about how much we have; the little we do possess can produce a lot.

Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. For when the foolish took their lamps, they did not take extra oil with them; but the prudent ones took oil in flasks with their lamps. Now while the groom was delaying, they all became drowsy and began to sleep. Matthew 25:1-5

I had a lot of time to think about this parable this week. I spent hours waiting for something. It seemed like an endless two hours. I could think of thousands of things I would rather to be doing. Anything was better than sitting on an uncomfortable bench squeezed together in a closed environment with crying babies and several people coughing and sneezing away. Almost everyone was glued to their phones. The woman sitting next to me was watching a recipe tutorial which made me realize that I only had a light lunch; not enough to sustain me through this long wait. Others were mindlessly flipping through equally mindless short videos where humorless people are trying to be funny. All these distractions were helping everyone endure or even forget that they were actually waiting for something. Maybe one can argue that they came prepared for the long wait. Perhaps, I am like the unwise virgins. However, I am not sure this is what Jesus meant in the parable of the ten virgins. I have to admit this is not an easy parable to interpret. It is mostly commonly interpreted as waiting for the Second Coming of our Lord. I am not sure if this interpretation has any major significance in our ministry in the streets. However, there is a concrete lesson for us here. After all, waiting is something we quite often do here in the streets.

Daniel was sitting next to me. For him, the whole venture is an ordeal. He kept repeating the words, “Everything is going to be alright.” Of course, it is going to be fine. It is just his identity card. We have waited here in this same place countless times; doing exactly the same thing. We have done this so often that we can actually orientate complete strangers on the whole process. The irony is that we, ourselves, have never had our documents done here. This is only for Brazilian citizens. By law, Daniel was required to get all his documents when he reached 18. He is 21 now. In a way, he is the like bride of the parable. He needs all his documents and he is very nervous about it. We are his “bridesmaid” ensuring him that everything is going to be alright.

Our children and youth find it intimidating to enter any government building. All their experiences in these places have been negative. In Daniel’s case, he was once imprisoned in a juvenile detention center once after coming out from a public bathroom. He was dragged into a police station where he was asked for his personal information and then treated roughly. This is basically the treatment they believe that they will receive in most government buildings. It was really timing that got him into trouble. He was in the bathroom and two other boys who stole something ran into it. Daniel decided to leave immediately and the security guard grabbed him. Even though the victim insisted that he was not the one, Daniel spent four months in detention before being released with no charge. Most of the youth feel like people are always judging them especially in any government buildings. It is understandable. Even those who have never been arrested before remember the first time their parents left them in the custody of the State in a government building. They recall the trauma of being abandoned and sent to a place to be grouped together with other abandoned children.

We have been here for almost an hour. I looked at the panel and Daniel was just ten numbers away from being called. I asked Daniel jokingly if he wanted to play a game of Uno. He did not get my feeble attempt at humor instead he asked for a coloring book. It is actually one of the things that has helped our youth to calm down. He started coloring and suddenly his demeanor changed. He was completely into his coloring and looked very peaceful. He wasn’t distracted. Those around us glued to their devices were oblivious to the presence of people around them. Daniel needed to know that someone was with him. Coloring is something he always did with us. It was his way of being close to us. Besides, he was too anxious to be distracted. Our eyes were glued to the panel and he was four numbers away.

Jesus used everyday situations to tell his parables. In His time, it was customary for the bridegroom to go home and prepare a place for his bride immediately after the betrothal. The marriage would not take place until the groom had the place ready to receive his bride. Once accomplished, the groom would return to the bride’s family and receive her as his wife. The only task of the bride was to be ready and wait. No dates were set because it was a time when no one followed a tied schedule, neither was there any way to communicate to the bride when the groom was coming. A simple journey then could take days or even weeks. There were countless things to make the bride anxious and worried. The groom could be delayed due to financial restraint. He could be robbed on his way to her or he could have taken ill. The bridesmaids’ task was to console and encourage the bride to keep hope. This is what we were doing at this moment. We were waiting with Daniel to help him not to give up. Maybe it seems something trivial but all great lessons start in a small and simple manner.

The panel showed that Daniel was only three numbers away from being called. He was almost done with his coloring. He actually did an excellent job. I assured him, “Anytime now and it will all be over.” Famous last words, unfortunately. There was a commotion among the staff. They suspiciously stopped calling out the numbers. No one seemed to be busy in front of their computers, instead, they were talking and joking among themselves. Then a woman came and advised us that the system was down. No one was going to get their documents processed today. We were so close, just three numbers away.

Daniel did not seem to be upset. He kept saying out aloud, “Everything will work out.” Strangely, we weren’t upset either. I mean there is nothing we could do about it. There was no point demanding. The system was down and it was a lousy system. However, the people responsible are hiding in some bureaucratic office completely oblivious to the plight of the common people. We went up to the desk and got another date for us to sit and wait for hours. It is tedious and absolutely boring but not a wasted moment. For us, this whole endeavor started out as being something pragmatic. The youth need their documents and they don’t have any parents to help them with the process. However, it meant something else for the children. When Daniel asked for our help with the documents, Gabriel stood up and said that we helped him get all his documents. It meant something special for him. Immediately, the other youths around us asked our help for other documents. Daniel was first in line.

He was hungry (maybe he caught a glimpse of the recipe video) and asked if we could buy him a snack. We got a nice meal for him and sat with him as he devoured it. Then he hugged us and told us that it was great day. He got to spend some quality time with us. We were quite amazed that he wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t get his documents done. Maybe it is because he knew that it would all work out for him. However, he just needed someone to be with him to help and reassure him.

There are many ways to wait. Most of the time, I wait for something to happen. In this case, we were waiting with Daniel. It wasn’t about something. It is about a person. He wanted us to be present with him. In fact, each time the numbers changed in the panel, he kept asking if his turn was close. He needed us to be alert with him. I could have brought my little device to help me endure the long wait but it would have distracted me from being with Daniel. It is not about the arrival of the bridegroom. It is about waiting with the bride. It is about participating with her in her anxiousness and worries. It is about rejoicing with her when they hear the footsteps of the bridegroom approaching to receive her. It is about being completely present when waiting. We are going back to the place today. We might wait for a few more hours. It is going to be frustrating but we have brought enough oil with us to be present with Daniel. We are privileged to be asked to be with him. This parable is very practical.

The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted. Matthew 23:11-12

Most social workers don’t last long working among the homeless. For starters, many of them have the title but not the training. It is not really their fault. The State hires a bunch of people and sends them out into the streets without any preparation. They don’t usually do anything beyond gathering names and personal information of the homeless, both adults and children. They wear a vest that says they are social workers. Furthermore, they are underpaid and work extremely long hours. Most of them do this work because they need the employment.

The job description put out by the State paints a rosy picture of reality. Actually, we can say this about almost every job description. They look wonderful on paper but everything goes downhill when we add the human element to it. The homeless, both adults and children, are not really the easiest people. They are not worse than the rest of humanity. They are just like us but live in a situation not permiting them to hide their emotional baggage. We have the the privilege of personal privacy. As a result, they don’t like people prying into their personal life. These social workers are supposed to do exactly this which makes their life even more difficult. Therefore, it is not a surprise that most of the social workers don’t last very long in this work. It is a terrible system. However, this post is not about the failure of the social services. It is about Nubia, an ingenuous social worker whom we thought wasn’t going to make through a month.

There is nothing wrong with her. To the contrary, she is a lovely person and very likable. She has a bubbly personality with an overdose of optimism. She was so optimistic that she made one wonder if she was working with all her mental faculties. I am aware that this is a terrible thing to say but these were the thoughts going through my mind. We thought that she was just a little too ingenuous for the street work. Maybe it has something to do with my own personality. I am not exactly a bubbly person nor an extrovert, therefore, I could have found her enthusiasm and optimism little overwhelming. It’s possible. However, this is not about me. It is about Nubia.

We met her about eight years ago. The social workers don’t usually interact with us. Nevertheless, Nubia is gregarious by nature and she couldn’t stop herself from connecting with us. She was always curious and observed whatever activities we did with the children. She liked the way they interacted with us and she started imitating us. Personally it was rather flattering. We colored with children and teens using coloring books which had more sophisticated and attractive designs. Nubia could not afford to buy these books and her work did not provide any funding to do activities as such. Instead, she resorted to the internet and printed out cheap and rudimentary designs meant for little children. She attempted to color these with the teens and it worked. I think the children liked doing things with her for the same reason they liked doing things with us. They sensed that we liked being with them. Nubia was different from the rest of the social workers. For her, it was more than just a job. She really loved the homeless youth. Even then, we still didn’t think she was going to last long. This time we thought that her supervisors would not tolerate someone like her. However, Nubia was stronger than we expected. She outlasted all of her colleagues. In fact, the children and teens recognized her as the most loving social worker in the streets.

The State likes to shift the social workers around which creates another problem. The homeless find it hard to develop a relationship of trust with them because of this. Perhaps this is the intention. There is an idea floating around that one can do a task effectively if they are not invested emotionally. We hardly saw Nubia for years. We almost forgot about her to be honest. Then a couple of days ago, we ran into her. She looks much calmer now. Maybe it is just because she is older. We can still the flame burning brightly in her. She was dying to share something with us. She explained that her job description is changing every week according to the whims of whoever is in-charge. For the present moment, she is responsible for finding permanent shelters for homeless adults. She frequently sees some of the children and teens we knew over the last ten years. Obviously, most of them are adults now. She shared that she was helping one of them find a permanent shelter when he asked her if she knew us. She said that he mentioned us by name. Then he got emotional and shared with her that he really appreciated the time he spent with us in the streets. He remembers all the times we colored with him. It was strange that this was the very activity that Nubia was drawn to when she saw us with the children. For us, personally, it was just an activity to do with the children. We thought that it stimulated their minds and it was good for them to engage in something peaceful. However, both Nubia and this young man saw something more profound in this simple activity. Nubia even got emotional as she shared with us this story. She said that the young man wanted us to know that he will never forget us. We asked her for the name of the young man. She couldn’t remember exactly. It wasn’t surprising since she sees so many people on a daily basis.

After our encounter with her, we were deeply encouraged. It is not that we ever doubted the value of what we do but it is still life affirming to know that someone recognizes it. I realized something about Nubia that moment. Something perhaps I overlooked over the years. I just saw her superficial nature but there is something deep and really special about her. She wasn’t as naive as I thought. She has to be pretty grounded in reality to persevere in a work where people are reduced to mere numbers. We, by comparison, have it easier. No one questions nor restricts our participation in the lives of the homeless youth whereas her efforts are constantly being undermined by those above her. Despite all these obstacles, Nubia always sees and finds goodness in everything she does. She doesn’t just identify them but seeks to imitate goodness without any hypocrisy nor falsehood. She is humble enough to recognize that she needs to learn how to serve people in this world. She does so because she finds joy in doing it. Nubia did not need to have the conversation with us. She did not need to do more than her job requires. She did not need to listen to the young man share his heart with her. She did all these things because they are good things to do. She knew intuitively that being a servant of all is the best way to live your life. Most importantly, she has a quality that I consider to be saintly. She has an infectious spirituality inspiring people to become better and loving people.

We just celebrated All Saint’s day. Usually, it is a day we remember saints whose stories are told in the traditional sense. They are stories filled with miracles and legends. Even though the intentions are to highlight the selfless dedication of these great people it creates a barrier between us and them. It makes it impossible for us to imitate them. We need to identify the saintly people who are more like us; people with the strange quirks and imperfections which all of us possess. However, despite all these human limitations, they are still able to touch people with God’s eternal love in the most profound way.

I don’t regret making a swift judgment about Nubia. It has taught me a valuable lesson. Maybe I should say it reminded me. I need constant reminders. Saints come in all shapes and forms. Sometimes they appear in places where we least expect or in people we think are too naive and optimistic. Nubia is all of these but most importantly she is a servant who wants to spread God’s love wherever she goes. She does this naturally. I still think that she is ingenuous but it doesn’t matter. She is a saint because she inspires others to become more saintly. She has inspired me. I am sure that there is a saintly person close to you too. We just have open our eyes and ears to discern their presence.

Show me the coin used for the tax. And they brought him a denarius. Then he said to them, ‘Whose head is this, and whose title?’ They answered, ‘The emperor’s.’ Then he said to them, ‘Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’ Matthew 22:19-21

I noticed her before we crossed the road. It would be an understatement to say her behavior was peculiar. Many would have written her off as a crack addict. Unfortunately, no one noticed her. She was invisible to those who passed her. It wasn’t deliberate. They are just doing what they do everyday. They are absorbed in their own worries and concerns. The present day technologies do not help any. Then she did something I suspected she was going to do from the beginning. She stripped off her top and walked around with her top half exposed. She was just skin and bones. No one noticed her even in this distressing state. She was truly like the character of H.G. Wells’ novel. Only difference is that people acknowledged the presence of the Invisible Man when he had his clothes on. Maybe it was her intention to gain visibility without hers. She was on the other side of the street. Although I am not sure what we would have done if we were close by. Mostly likely nothing. It is hard to respond rationally to such a strange situation. She should be somewhere where she could receive treatment and attention. Such a place doesn’t exist for someone like her. She is homeless and, therefore invisible to the concerns of the “Empire”.

We had to stay focused. There are so many things demanding our attention and we can be easily distracted. We continued on our way to meet our homeless young people. The first person we stumbled upon was Bruno. The first thing he did was to wake his dog up to let it know that we had arrived. Lala came up and greeted us. She is a healthy terrier mixed mutt, perhaps a little overweight. Bruno spoils her a lot. He was in good spirits today. He told us that he has been waiting for us all day. We found a quiet spot and sat on the floor. I am not sure when this happened but sitting on the ground has become a feat nowadays, not to mention getting up.

The children have changed location and as always we go where they are. They are presently in a place known as the Japan Town of São Paulo about a block away from where we used to meet them. The actual name of this place “Liberdade” which means “Liberty”. Sounds like a promising name but unfortunately history tells a different story. A quick research revealed that it was a place where the “unruly” slaves seeking freedom were hanged. Death was considered their final and only possible liberty. It was formerly known as the “Fields of the Gallows” before being renamed. The first Japanese immigrants settled here about a hundred years ago. Now, most of the Brazilians of Japanese descent have moved on to other areas and the tourists have invaded this place. Most of them do not realize that most of the stores are now owned by recent Chinese immigrants, not Japanese. Furthermore, it has become the ideal place for our children and teens especially for those who stay away from criminal activities. There is ample food here and they can beg without any problems.

Bruno was keen to talk about something “the emperor” is doing in the world. It was nothing new really. The “emperors” of this world are not very creative. Despite this, it doesn’t stop people from talking about the latest actions of the “Emperor”. It is the conversation topic which follows the weather. Bruno read the headlines of the newspaper. Like almost everyone, he already had formed an opinion about the matters concerned.

A few days ago, he shared with us a childhood memory, something which he rarely does. Most of our children and teens are reticent about their childhood memories. It takes years of relationship building to get to this point. Bruno grew up in an orphanage most of his life. He shared about his first day in school and how he was among the first to read. Of course, he had help but he can not remember how or who helped him. He said that he had memorized the national hymn completely by the age of 7. The Brazilian national hymn is one of the most complex national hymns I have heard and it has an awkward melody which makes one wonder what was going on in the minds of the original composers. Not many adults know all the words to the hymn. Our children and teens tend to exaggerate many things but in this instance, Bruno wasn’t making this up. We have know him for almost ten years. We can testify that this young man is extremely intelligent. He loves to write things he has observed or read in his notebook daily. He writes purely for the love of writing. We have bought tons of notebooks for him and within a month or so, he would have them filled with little notes. Unfortunately, he has been invisible all his life and no one ever paid any attention to his intelligence nor potential. Now, he begs in the streets. There was a time when he was inspired to do great things but then he realized that he will always be an invisible person in this society. The “emperor” does not see Bruno at all, let alone know all his potential. It is the not the fault of a particular “emperor”. It is just how the empires of this world function. People like Bruno are always invisible.

We told Bruno that we rather not talk about what the “emperor” is doing instead we wanted to play a game. He enthusiastically agreed. Where we sat, there are several benches and an elderly tourist was sitting and resting on one. She was curious about us but tried not to show it. I caught her eavesdropping on our conversations. Then two Chinese immigrants came by and watched us play the game. They made some comments in Mandarin to each other and were smiling. I assumed that it was something positive. Maybe they were making a joke at our expense. No harm done. As long as they got a good laugh out of it. Soon after the other children joined us. It was like the movie, “if you build it… ” The elderly woman started searching frantically for something in her handbag. Almost like a cliché, she took out a box of candy and gave it to the teens. They smiled and thanked her and then she went away.

Sometimes, these invisible people wear a tragic mask. Consequently, we are tempted to look away because it is too difficult and heart wrenching. It doesn’t have to be a homeless person. It can be a lonely neighbor. It can be people we meet in the grocery store who are a little awkward and strange. It can be someone very close to us. We can walk by these invisible people constantly without noticing them because our minds are distracted. Many times with things which have very little bearing in our daily lives. We might be listening about what the emperor is doing in the world while missing out on noticing the Kingdom of God being manifested in our reality. The Kingdom of God makes the invisible people of this world visible to us. However, we don’t see their presence merely in the tragic sense but the Spirit of God helps us go beyond the superficial and discover the beautiful face of our King present.

The elderly woman sitting at the bench saw something and she wanted to be part of it. She reached into her bag and found something to help her connect with us. She was rendering something to God. In doing so, she helped us see something beautiful present in her. It was a simple gesture but performed a miracle. It destroyed the lie that our boys are invisible.

‘Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’

Many times people have these words to promote the interest of the Empire. However, Jesus is setting the limits here. The empire always makes loud noises to call attention to itself. However, the concerns of the empire, more often than not, seek to strengthen the “emperor”. The small still voice of the heavenly King beckons us to do things to make a difference in the lives of people. They may not be great deeds which gain recognition of the empire. In the Kingdom of God, simple gestures, like sharing candy, go a long way. It is just enough to show someone that they are not invisible.

In the Kingdom of God, we can be valuable citizens who make significant difference in others. However, we can not do anything significant if we are constantly distracted by the voices of the empire. We have to decide to listen attentively to God’s Spirit and only then we will learn how to render to God the things that are God’s.

Then he said to his slaves, “The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.” Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, and he said to him, “Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?” And he was speechless.- Matthew 22:8-12

For a long time, I was just “Uncle” to our children and teens. Everyone who is older is “uncle” and “auntie” in the streets. This respect for older people is ingrained in them. Eventually, we became Uncle Stephen and Auntie Mary. We made the transition from being anonymous people who deserve respect to becoming someone meaningful to them. It took our children years to address us by our names. Moreover, in the recent years, they introduce me to curious passers-by as a priest. This is a new development. It is because the older youth have access to the internet and they saw a picture of me in my clericals. It just takes one to notice and soon the news spread. Now they are aware that I am a priest. They want the world to know that they have their own priest among them. However, they still address us “Uncle Stephen” and “Auntie Mary”. Sometimes the “smarter but lazier” ones call us collectively as “Uncle Mary” or “Auntie Stephen”.

I never revealed the fact that I was a priest, neither did I hide the fact. They always knew that our ministry is about knowing and sharing the person of Jesus. However, I wanted my vocation to manifest itself naturally through our relationship with the children. Unfortunately, words like “pastor” and “priest” are meaningless to our children. They never grew up in a church and now they don’t feel completely welcomed in one. Not that churches are hostile towards them. They just don’t feel like they have the right “clothes”. They feel like everyone knows that they are homeless and outsiders.

All of our children think that there is a price tag of some sort to be accepted and they can’t afford to pay it. They learned this through observation. It is the spirituality being lived out in society. We decided to make sure that they understood that we are here for them without any conditions. However, this is easier said than done. “Without conditions” means accepting the good and the bad, just like the invitation extended in the parable. In the streets, nothing is hidden. One sees bad actions committed before one’s very eyes and it often leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth. Consequently, including the bad is hard. Nevertheless, these are the ones who surprise us most of the time. The ‘good’ ones many times forget to dress properly for the banquet. They end up taking things for granted. They often think that having accepted the invitation is sufficient. This is also something that they observed in the society.

This parable is quite scandalous. Most of us can accept the first without much controversy. Usually, we read from the perspective as one who has accepted the invitation. Therefore, we imagine that these people have nothing to do with us. Unfortunately, Jesus never stops where it is convenient for us. He goes further. The last part is perhaps the most disturbing for modern ears, especially after having been taught about God’s unconditional love and acceptance. The ending to this parable seems to imply rejection. Perhaps the most polemic part of it was that the guest was rejected for not wearing the proper clothes. It sends a confusing message, especially to our homeless children.

As a young man, when I read this parable, I was a little disturbed. Clothes distinguish us from each other. People wear clothes to reflect their status. People wear certain clothes to make a statement about themselves. Some use them to show their affiliations. The children knew I was a priest because of the clothes I wore in the pictures. The poor and desolate in our context wear whatever is available and given to them. They don’t have a choice in this matter. These were the people who were invited to the banquet but one was rejected because he did not wear the right clothes. Over the years, with careful study and exposure to ancient culture and practices, I understood that the host provides the guests with the proper clothes for the banquet. It was actually part of the invitation to wear the clothes provided by the host. This way, everyone in the banquet is considered to be equal and the clothes did not separate one from another. In other words, an invitation to a banquet in those times means a participation in the household without any social barriers. The man only accepted the invitation partially and in doing so, he insulted the host in the same manner as the guests who rejected his invitation.

I have mentioned before that we moved to a new apartment. Our new neighborhood is quite strange to describe. It is not dangerous by any means. Our place is in a small residential building in the midst of micro industries and auto body shops. It is not the prettiest neighborhood but it doesn’t make it less interesting. However, it is the kind of neighborhood where our youths would not feel intimidated to visit. In fact, our first guest in our new place was Edson. He is one of the youth who is trying find a way to get out of the streets. For the past two years, he did odd jobs which helped pay his living expenses but he still had to sleep in a tent in the streets. His salary was not sufficient to pay for room and board. Recently he found a space in abandoned building where a group of squatters live. This is a common practice here in the center of this city. We have over a hundred abandoned buildings suitable to be transformed into housing but nothing has been done to that effect. Instead, poor working families group together and invade these buildings and live as squatters there. Edson doesn’t have to sleep in the streets anymore for now. He receives his correspondences at our place and uses our address whenever he applies for job. He came by to pick his mail and I invited him to enter and have coffee with us. His face lit up when I extended the invitation. He stayed for an hour or more and felt extremely comfortable in our home much to our delight.

About a month later, Edson came by again and this time Aline was with him. She is just like him in many ways. She spent many years in an orphanage and ended up in the streets. She found a place similar to Edson’s and decided to go back to school. She always loved studying. Recently, she is learning about the cold war and is curious to know what it was like living during that period. She mentioned our names to Edson in a conversation and he suggested that they should visit us. Both of them were extremely happy to be in our house. Aline could not contain her joy to just sit on our sofa and talk with us. Unbeknown to them, our friend, Elvis, yes that is his name, was on his way to our house. After he arrived, we had a household of people from completely different backgrounds. Edson and Aline were initially shy with Elvis but it didn’t take long for them to overcome this. Soon, experiences and encounters were shared and everyone was feeling that they had something concrete and meaningful to share with each other.

Edson had to leave early because he had to work. He works the graveyard shift. Aline is going to night school. Elvis remained behind. Before leaving, we invited them to come on another day when we can all share a meal together. Aline was especially happy with this. She told us that she wants us to visit her at her place. She assured us that she is a good cook and we don’t doubt her. After they left, Elvis found out that they were both once homeless and now squatters. No one would have known this if they came to our house that day. It is because they wore the right “clothes”. They did not come into our house as homeless people. They came because they are our friends and brother and sister. They left their former “garments” outside knowing that in this household they can be one with us. This was the desire of the Host in the parable. He invites us to participate in His household. However, those who refuse to become part of his household and insist on holding onto the their “old garments” of status in this world will never understand the true nature of the invitation. All are invited but only a few understand what it means to be invited. Over the years, many teens and youths from the streets have come to our house. They usually feel insecure and self conscious. Edson and Aline felt at home. We hope many more will come. We have an intuitive feeling that these two will spread the news of the invitation to the others.

‘What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, “Son, go and work in the vineyard today.” He answered, “I will not”; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, “I go, sir”; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?’ They said, ‘The first.’ Jesus said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, the tax-collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.’ Matthew 21:28-31

Betty was unsure about woman’s ordination. Although she was a deep thinker on matters spiritual, her convictions on this subject were not theologically motivated. By her own admissions, she just did not feel comfortable with the idea. Obviously, this was some time ago when the local Anglican diocese was getting ready to ordain its first woman priest. The potential candidate had preached on several occasions in our parish and Betty really liked her. She believed that she would make an excellent priest. It would simplistic to say that Betty was being hypocritical. I would never say that about her. She was a very coherent person. On the day of this seminarian’s ordination, Betty was unable to attend due to distance and health. She handed me a gift for this candidate on her behalf. Betty lived on a limited income but saved up to give this person a costly stole. The seminarian never knew that Betty had reservations about her ordination. All she knew was this elderly missionary was very supportive and loving and always desired her success as a priest.

Betty has left an indelible mark in our lives. I talked about her so often that all my friends feel like they know her. She passed away ten years ago. Before we returned to Brazil this time, she told us firmly that we need to receive our instructions from the Holy Spirit; wise words which always remain with me. She came as a missionary to Brazil on the year that I was born. She hated it the moment she came here. She told her husband that she was not going to stay for more than two weeks but ended up spending the rest of her life here. Her ashes together with her husband’s are scattered in the church’s grounds where I first served as an ordained minister. She never claimed to be a theologian nor expert in liturgical matters but she taught me how to preach an interesting sermon and perform my liturgical duties. She was a person who always said “Yes” even though many times her first answer was “No”. Owing to the fact that she always listened to the Holy Spirit. People who listen to the Holy Spirit come in all shapes and forms. They are people who act in obedience but sometimes they might be compelled to say, “No” for unknown reasons. Eventually, something motivates them to go out into the world and say Yes to God. Without a doubt, Betty was this kind of person. Everyone who met her will acknowledge it. Consequently, she continues to live in us even though she had left this life a long time ago. It is because she invested in something which rust can’t destroy and thieves can’t steal. She gave herself to something eternal and it lives forever in us.

The Pharisees lived in a world of doctrines and traditions. They believed that these were based on the wisdom of sound religious teachers and helped them live their lives in harmony with the Law. In their eyes, Jesus violated not only these things but they believed that He was an enemy of the Law of God. His actions were not on par with their theories. They wanted to know who or what gave Him the authority to act in this manner. It is easy for us to judge the Pharisees and say that they were hard hearted people who refused to see and listen to the gospel. In reality, we are more like the Pharisees than Jesus. Naturally all of us like to imagine that we follow Jesus in these matters. However, the truth is there is a Pharisee living in all of us. I don’t mean that we are deliberately hypocritical neither were the Pharisees. I would say that we are inconsistent or incoherent. The problem is this mindset entraps us in a bubble of traditions and doctrines that it deprives of a genuine understanding of God’s Law.

“For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” Hosea 6:6

The Pharisees created a world in their minds where people are divided the into two groups, one deserving of God’s Love and the other of punishment. This simplistic view of life was so important to them because it justified their hostile actions and attitudes towards their unsavory neighbors. Nevertheless, it is a world which doesn’t exist except in their heads. Jesus, on the other hand, engaged in the real world where people are complex personalities. He didn’t divide people into categories but treated them as individuals. He listened and understood them as individual people who were trying to find their way in this broken world. Jesus interpreted the Law in the context of this world and brought forth the message of the good news. Jesus understood that the essence of the Law is mercy, compassion and a true knowledge of God. This knowledge is none other than what was succinctly expressed by one of His disciples, “God is Love.”

In our ministry, we have to constantly fight the Pharisees in us. We go to the streets carrying our baggage of values and doctrines which we believe hold the world together. Clearly, this is just an illusion. We could have remained in this illusionary world by limiting our engagement with life to people who share our similar doctrines and traditions. The Pharisees did this and it was these convictions which motivated them to instigate the eventual trial and death of our Lord. Therefore, it is not just a question of holding onto our opinions here. Being insistent in certain things can lead to our own self destruction. However, there are many things in us so ingrained that they are hard to discard. Thankfully, for our own understanding of God’s love and salvation, God called us to minister to our children and teens.

A teenage girl challenged all our ideas about good and proper parenting. We found her attitude to be so disturbing that it hindered us from having a relationship with her. She was a mother to a young toddler but hardly gave him any attention. Instead she would abandon her child to her grandmother’s care who is also homeless. Then she would spend most of her time with the other children, many times sniffing paint thinner. There were so many doctrines that we believed to be important and precious being violated by this young girl. We were even upset with the grandmother for enabling such behavior. Consequently, it took us some years to warm up to this girl and her mother. Yes, it was a question of years.

The young child became seriously ill and was hospitalized. The grandmother asked us for prayers. This simple incident opened our eyes to see something we had overlooked previously. The girl and her mother really loved the child as best as they could. They come from a different reality and did not have the privilege and experience we had to know how to care for the child the way we would. The grandmother was abandoned as a child. The mother was born into homelessness. For them, ensuring the young toddler is never abandoned or alone is a hundred percent more than what they have ever received. The grandmother told us much later that she believes that her young daughter will eventually grow into her role as a mother. The girl was too young to have her first child. She was only 14 but it has happened. The grandmother dealt with the situation with love and compassion. She did not judge her daughter based on doctrines or theories. According to the wisdom of Betty, the grandmother received her instructions from the Spirit.

The seminarian never learned that Betty was unsure about woman’s ordination. Frankly speaking, no one knew about it. Betty did not deny the fact that she was brought up with certain doctrines and traditions which made it difficult to accept certain things. However, she was a person who engaged in the world. She opened her heart to people of all sorts and conditions. She listened to the voice of the Spirit and acted accordingly. The Spirit is present in our midst to reveal the person of Jesus. Jesus came to show love, compassion and mercy to everyone including those of us who recognize that we are nothing but sinners lost in this world. Until we recognize this of ourselves, we will never be able to recognize the authority of Jesus. Our hearts and minds were closed to the instructions of Jesus. Betty found a way to overcome this. She listened to the Voice of the Spirit and it gave the strength to say “Yes” despite her initial “No”. Thank you, Betty.

But he replied to one of them, “Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?” So the last will be first, and the first will be last. Matthew 20:13-16

We were playing a game of Uno and Taina was losing all the rounds. Sabrina, on the contrary, was dominating the game completely. Then, to the surprise of everyone, Taina made a comeback and ended up winning the entire game. Sabrina laughed and remarked, “you see the last shall be first.” For some reason, these words resonated strongly with me at that moment. It was not just the fact that they were from the gospels. I was surprised how they came out of Sabrina so naturally. She must have pondered them at one point in her life. She is not someone who grew up in a church. She did not even have a proper family. They rejected her at a young age. She was always the last in life. These words must have comforted her. They are truly purveyors of the good news for her. Sabrina recognizes this truth even in the simplest things like a game of Uno. She lost the game but knowing that someone whom she loved would share in her joy was much more important. She was happy that the last came in first.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Most of the time, people are bitter and angry when the last becomes first unless they are the ones benefitting from being the last.

Jesus, in this parable, is addressing a sin not talked about very often. Most likely, it is such a common sin. Whatever conditions in life we find ourselves, this sin is ever present. Perhaps this is the reason why we don’t consider it to be a sin. We tend to think something that everyone does is normal. Jesus often confronts what is so called “normal sin” in each of us in his parables. We, on the hand, feel very comfortable challenging the sins of others but avoid our own discrepancies. It is time to address this sin; the sin of envy, but you cannot address envy without talking about covetousness. They belong together.

This sin is not about desiring what our neighbors possess. It is more about desiring what we do not have. Sometimes we desire something that we do not need but just because someone else has it. Envy also makes us disgruntled when someone possesses the same things we have. In our context, the youth who engage in thievery do not do it because they need the money. Even those who use drugs don’t need money to buy them. Many times the youth tell us that it is easier for them to get drugs for free than food. Food, clothes, and drugs can be obtained without committing any crime. A vast majority of the children and teens do not engage in criminal activities. They survive fairly well just by begging and the older ones do odd jobs here and there to get what they need or want. Those who steal do it because they succumb to the devious pleasure of depriving people of things which they themselves do not possess. However, by no means am I saying that these youths are especially diabolic. I would say that they are more like the rest of humanity.

Politicians recognize this attitude in people and make use of it to their advantage. They stir up hatred and displeasure in vast majority of people claiming that the “last” in our society are getting special benefits which they don’t deserve. Even though a vast majority of the people don’t need these benefits, it upsets them that the “last” are receiving them. People get envious that certain groups want the same rights as them, or that the younger generation has a better life than they did. Naturally, all these attitudes are disguised in reasonable arguments appearing virtuous to those who harbor such sentiments. Just like in the parable, the first laborers had some good arguments. They were there first and worked hard all day long. Logically, they deserved more than the last. I have used this argument several times myself in the depth of my heart but never openly. I know deep down that there is something intrinsically wrong with it. There is something deeper and diabolic hiding behind all these arguments. This is so dangerous that we need to constantly exorcise it from our lives.

A not-so famous theologian, Jacques Ellul, once argued that all the Ten Commandments serve to protect us against one sin which is covetousness. This was considered a controversial statement, unfortunately, only by a small section of the Christian community. In order to recognize the weight of this statement, we have to recognize the sin. Like I mentioned before, it is not something commonly addressed. Nevertheless, it is present in our souls just as it was in the souls of our first parents, Adam and Eve. All it took was a serpent to quicken it. The first humans coveted God’s power. They were convinced that they deserved more although they were lacking in nothing. Tradition also tells us that the sin of the fallen angel was covetousness. He was convinced that he deserved more although he was considered the most beautiful angel. We always think that we deserve more than what is given to us. Most likely we will never admit this openly, at least, I wouldn’t. Covetousness is something that everyone harbors but rarely anyone admits to having such sentiments.

In reality, none of us deserve anything. Everything we have is a gift. Some of us received more but we definitely don’t deserve it. Others received less and they don’t deserve it either. Until we recognize this, we will never be satisfied. We will never be happy. We will never understand the grace and generosity of God. We won’t be able to look beyond ourselves. Bitterness and hatred will dominate our hearts and minds. By no means, I am saying that we should not seek to better our lives or fight for our rights. This is the not the issue addressed in the parable. The issue is covetous, or rather, thinking that God is obliged to give us more than what we have.

Sabrina is not immune to this sin. She took pleasure in the victory of her friend. However, this attitude is not restricted to a game. She is deeply aware of those who are last. Once we saw her give some food to a homeless adult in the streets. She was hungry and she got some food from a passerby. In the streets, homeless adults bear the weight of society’s disdain more heavily than the youth. People are not so generous with them. Sabrina noticed a hungry homeless adult and shared her food with him. However, she coveted things too. Momentarily, she gave in to this sin. She dated a boy who robbed people mercilessly. He would steal the gold chains from elderly women, something which is prohibited by the local gang. Unfortunately, he did not care and Sabrina dated him for a while. She enjoyed the things she received from his spoils. However, there came a day when she could not turn a blind eye to the victims. Her identification with the last was so strong that she could not overlook the cruelty of the crime. She ended the relationship and found a way to get out of the streets. She has been gone for a while but she has definitely left a strong mark in us.

The sin of envy is strong in us. However, it can be overcome. Jesus did not just address the issue without leaving us without an answer. A casual reading of the gospel will give us the answer. Jesus always identified with the last. He spent time with the last. His disciples were from the groups that were considered the last. In the temple, when all eyes were on the first, Jesus noticed a widow giving a small but precious offering. Even at the Cross, Jesus took the path of the last. He could have appealed to power and authority to save Himself from the all humiliation and degradation but He chose the path which the last of this world tread.

The way to overcome this dangerous sin of envy is not to feed it. The best way to starve it is to walk the path Jesus has shown us. We don’t have to give up everything to serve the poor or the last of this world. We can start by recognizing that we don’t deserve the things we have. Then we can move forward to understand how we can use these things we have to participate in God’s generosity and love. I am convinced that this will help us to understand and rejoice in the words, “the last will be first” and we won’t be upset that “the first will be last” because none of us deserve to be first nor last.