After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth. When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost. John 19:28-30

I had a strange dream. By default, all dreams are odd. Even if we dreamed about doing something simple and plain like eating potato soup, it would be considered bizarre to dream about such a mundane thing. At any rate, mine was pertinent to my situation at that time. However, I mistakenly thought that it was restricted to that moment. I was in a car and before I could turn on the ignition key, I noticed that the glove compartment was broken. I tried to fix it and then I heard a loud crack coming from my seat. I tried to open the door to see what was wrong with the seat from the outside. Unfortunately, the door handle broke. Each time I tried to resolve something another problem came up. Eventually everything was started falling apart and I woke up and realized that it was the reality of the situation I was living. It was too broken to be fixed. I thought that the solution was to abandon everything and move to another place which I did. It did not take long for me to realize that the broken car was waiting for me in the other place, too.

The disciples watched as their hopes and dreams were being slowly ripped away from them. Finally, they found a leader in Jesus who understood the struggles and language of the everyday simple folks. He was truly the Good Shepherd who the people had yearned for and needed. He did not speak to them from a powerful position. He was one of them. Most importantly, He wasn’t a mere revolutionary idealist. He had the power to turn water into wine. They knew that if anyone could fix this world, it was this Man. Then, everything fell apart. The world was too broken to be fixed. The very people whom Jesus loved and healed put Him on the Cross. The religious authorities who were supposed to prepare the people for His coming were instrumental in his demise. The civil authorities which were supposed to maintain Law and Order sanctioned this grave act of injustice and provided all the necessary means to execute it. The disciples stood there in despair thinking that there is nothing to be done anymore. They were right. It was a hopeless situation. Their Only Hope hung on the Cross and gave up His spirit. The world is too broken to be fixed. There is no refuge from this devastating situation. We cannot flee from it. We cannot succumb to the temptations of the idealist and say that we can build a better world, a utopia in this world. If Jesus could not do it, then no one can. We cannot succumb to temptation of the realist and throw up our arms and say, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” Jesus was a realist. He knew exactly that all this was going to lead Him to the Cross but He never gave in to despair despite knowing the situation was hopeless. Jesus had these last three words to say to us, “It is finished.” I read these words to our homeless teens once and one of them asked, “what is finished?” It is a good question. One which I had not pondered seriously until that moment. I have taken refuge in doctrinal interpretations in the past but they would not provide a satisfactory answer for our homeless children. If I said, “He paid for all our sins.”, they would have shrugged their shoulders and gone on with their lives like millions of people around the world who profess to be followers of our Lord. However, these words impacted a centurion who was a seasoned soldier accustomed to using violence to implement the will of the government. He confessed, “Truly this was God’s son.”

There was something powerful in His final words. They were not words of resignation but triumph, perhaps recognizable only to those grasped by the power and love of the Christ. These are the ones who understand the words of Jesus when He said,

“For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:20-21

In these introductory words of the gospel, a profound truth is expressed which was manifested on the Cross. Truth is not a theory nor an idea nor a doctrine. It is something manifested in our daily and practical lives. If a so-called Truth is not doable or livable, then it is a lie. Jesus lived the Truth from the moment He was born. This alone qualifies Him to be recognized as the Christ. Otherwise, His claims about Himself can be considered as arrogant or bordering lunacy. However, the Light of the Truth shone so clearly through His life even the greatest enemy of the Church such as Nietzsche could only say admirable things about Jesus. However, there are many who want to follow a theoretical truth but continue to live their lives in practice in the darkness of the lies. For these, the final words of Jesus are meaningless. They might even try to reduce them to a doctrinal idea or some other insipid concept which bears minimal implication to their daily lives. However, there are those who would find hope in these words even when they find themselves in situations devoid of hope.

Recently, I listened to an activist who tirelessly fights for a very noble cause. Unfortunately, it was something which is hopeless in a sense. She is not religious by any means and therefore, she can not take refuge in the idea of the religious merits for her activities. However, unintentionally, she gave the most appropriate religious response for her reasons for persevering in her fight. She said that there is something within her which impels her to continue to live out the Truth. She could not do anything else than live in accordance to this Truth which has grasped her soul. She would have understood that the final words of Jesus were a triumphant cry of victory. Jesus overcame the temptations to succumb to the standards of the world. Beginning with the betrayal of Judas, then with Peter’s attempt to resist with the sword and being confronted with the lies and deceit of the religious authorities. Jesus did not at any given moment deny the Truth which impelled Him to be the Light of this world. On the Cross, He said the triumphant words, “It is finished!” These words are foolishness to those who live their lives in the ways of the darkness. However, for those who hunger and thirst after the Truth, they are words of power. They are words which prove to us that it is possible to live our lives to the fullest in a world prone to hopeless and despair. Jesus has paved the way. He has opened the doors to live a new life in this broken world. He has completed His task. He has given us an example. He has shown us that even in the darkest moment of our lives, Light will fulfill its given task. Nothing can stop Light from completing its task and pronouncing the final victory by saying, “It is Finished.”

As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.’ John 9:1-3

I have written several reflections on this gospel story in my blog. I have been doing this for ten years. Therefore, it is important to go back and check to make sure that I am not repeating myself. They say old people tend to repeat themselves. I don’t consider myself old but I am getting older. I want to make sure that I am not acting old. Some of you might understand. I have noticed in my previous reflections that I always focused on the healing. It is hard to do anything else besides this. After all, it seems to be the main thrust of the whole story. However, this time I noticed the overwhelming number of questions in this story. The whole episode begins and ends with them. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to just reflect on this aspect.

It started with the disciples. They asked an important question which has been asked in different manners; “Who is to be blamed for all the injustice in this world?” Whenever something bad happens in the streets, the first thing our children do is to try to be figure out who is responsible. Most of the time, the blame falls on the victim. As cruel as it sounds, we find comfort in blaming the victim not because we are callous or unsympathetic. To the contrary, deep down in our souls, we identify with the victims. Therefore, we want to differentiate ourselves from them so that we can convince ourselves with the fiction that no mishaps nor dangers will befall us. Victim blaming gives us a false sense of security that we can protect ourselves from the troubles of this world if we toe the line. The disciples wanted to know why the blind man was different from them. Jesus gave them an answer to look beyond the problem. It may not be a satisfactory answer for many. Superficially, it may seem like Jesus is blaming God for making anyone suffer. However, this is far from the truth. He is inviting us to not look at people who suffer as a problem but He invites us to discover the mystery of who God is through their suffering.

If blindness was the problem, then the healing did nothing to solve it. In fact, it made it worse. Hitherto the blind man was considered a person to be pitied but now he became a subject of controversy and disdain to the religious authorities. His family even refused to take his side for fear of reprisal. The religious authority now considered him as a threat to their opposition against Jesus. Apart from this, this man also lost his identity among the people. He was known as the blind beggar. Now, the people no longer recognized him as such. The opening of his eyes revealed that the rest of society had a very limited vision of him. They just saw a blind man and nothing more. It could even be argued that they would have liked it if he remained as such. They found it disturbing that he was now healed. We see this in our reality. Often times, we see people give to help the homeless. Churches will come in droves to serve a meal. However, the thousands of people living in the streets is a social problem. No one appears to be interested in dealing these issues. Sometimes they are against measures that might deal with it. In reality, most people are not interested in healing the social disease. They are just interested in doing things which bring them some sort of personal gratification. However, the gospel is a message of healing.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? Matthew 7:21-22

Personally, I think that the Pharisees were right in questioning the blind man. I don’t believe that we have the monopoly of religious charlatans in our age. False prophets were abundant in ancient times too and it was necessary to examine whoever claimed anything in the name of God. I believe that we could benefit by following in the footsteps of the Pharisees in this matter. The Truth is given to us but it should not be assumed that everyone who claims to speak the Truth is from God. The problem was that the Pharisees were only interested in opposing Jesus. They questioned the blind man to mount up arguments against Jesus. This is the problem and not questioning. Those of us of the Protestant tradition cannot forego the value of questioning. Our tradition comes into existence because a monk questioned the church’s doctrines on indulgence. We can never discern the truth from the abundant lies in the world if we do not question. The disciples discovered illness is not a curse from God by questioning the popular notion that physical illness and disability were a curse due to one’s sin. The American Civil Movement wouldn’t have been possible if no one had challenged and questioned what was considered as social norms. We can never recognize the Truth if we do not question what is presented before us. Unfortunately, the Pharisees were not interested in discovering the Truth. They were blinded by their hatred. This is the problem.

Questioning in itself is not going to bring about wisdom. We need to be open to receiving it. We have to be spiritually open in order for questions to guide us into the path of discovering the Truth. Sometimes spiritual openness might happen intentionally and sometimes it might be something which happens without one realizing it. A friend of mine became a Christian because he questioned certain philosophical concepts while doing his Master’s in Philosophy. His questions led him to discover deep truths which his soul was seeking.

When our questions leads us to the Truth, we will be grasped by it in an undeniable manner. It will transform our lives. However, nothing of this sort will happen if we are not open to it. Besides this, we cannot control where it comes from. The Pharisees were not interested in this. They did not feel a need to receive anything from anyone, much less a formerly blind beggar. Consequently, they remained in their own blindness.

They answered him, ‘You were born entirely in sins, and are you trying to teach us?’ And they drove him out. John 9:34

Every day we pass by a group of street preachers who are always yelling even when the things they say should be spoken in a calm and loving manner. I usually just ignore them. This time, I decided that I should put in practice what I just wrote. I should not discard them just because I disagree with their methods. I listened. They did not say anything that was not true. Maybe one or two things were exaggerated for dramatic effect. Besides these, nothing was polemical. However, it did not move me nor hold my interest. I moved on. We met someone from our past; a person who worked with the homeless before. He spouted out heaps of compliments which were full of good intentions but they did not move us. Then some of the children who are third generation homeless children came up to us. These are really young children, most of them under five. They were with their grandmother. Usually, we prefer the company of the older children and teens. We can actually talk with them. These children have limited conversational skills which consist of random words and puzzled looks. We thought and hoped that they would lose interest in us and move on to something more exciting. Instead, they stayed with us for the whole period we were in the streets. Even though we were more keen to talk to the others, these children did captivate our hearts. They smiled when I saw them trying to color the pictures. They did a disastrous job but they didn’t care. They wanted to do it in our presence. It would be easy to just overlook this moment and it would have been a mistake. These tiny children were giving us a gift. They were showing us that our presence has not gone unnoticed in their lives. They could have been with anyone in the streets. There were others closer to their age group and most likely more fun. They chose us because they were spiritually available. They saw something different and responded in doing something creative with us. They wanted to produce something together with us.

These children helped me see in a concrete manner what happens in our souls when we are confronted with the Truth. It makes us creative; not necessarily in an artistic manner. More so in the way of doing something which creates bonds of eternal love. Being spiritual available is looking for opportunities to create fruits of love in this world. It is not just about questions but it is about discovering how to produce true fruits of love in this world. It is good thing we did not disregard these tiny children this week.

Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon. A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink’. (His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?’ (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink”, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?’ John 4:6-11

There are several reasons why Jesus shouldn’t have spoken to this woman. The most obvious is that she was a woman and one of dubious repute at that. Jesus did not need any special ability to discern this. She came at a time to draw water when there was hardly anyone around. Collecting water was a social activity for women during that period. This woman was obviously a persona non grata among her peers. Besides this, she was a Samaritan. Jesus wasn’t immune to the prejudices of his time. None of us are innately prejudiced. These ideas are subtly instilled in us. Jesus grew up exposed to all the things which society threw at him. He, like the rest of us, had to confront these ingrained prejudices. This woman, on the other hand, had accepted her marginalized role in society and did not expect anyone to confab with her. However, Jesus broke all the societal norms. He spoke to her but only for one simple reason. He was tired and thirsty and she had water. He did not make an excuse to talk to her. He genuinely needed something from her and wasn’t going to allow any conventional obstacles to stop him from receiving help from her.

The woman wanted to make sure if Jesus knew who she was before receiving anything from her. She was convinced that Jesus wouldn’t want anything to do with her. This is where the conversation takes us on a captivating journey. It happened just because Jesus was willing to ask for help from someone society had shunned. It is worth spending a short moment on this before moving on.

When someone is marginalized, society sending a clear message to this person saying that he or she is irrelevant and has nothing to offer. The disciples were in a Samaritan village. It was the practice in those times for people to approach the homes in the particular village to ask for food and shelter even Jesus recommended this to his disciples. Usually, it was customary for people to be hospitable to strangers. This is still practiced in many parts of Asia today. However, the disciples were Jewish and they preferred to go elsewhere for food and water instead of receiving hospitality from a Samaritan. To do such a thing entails making oneself available for a relationship with the host. If we think about it, it is true for us wherever we are in our world. Our homeless children and teens love to help people. It is their chance to show their humanity. However, it has to be genuine. There are well intentioned people who think that it is a good idea to teach children and teens to become better people by giving them an “opportunity” to help. This almost immediately becomes something patronizing.

We have people in our society whom we just perceive as mere helpless and ignorant souls incapable of helping themselves. Usually we shower them with our good works. Unknowingly, our well intentioned actions can contribute to widening the rift between us and them. Instead, we have to ask ourselves whether these people have something concrete to offer to us. I don’t mean in a pragmatic manner. I mean in a deep spiritual manner. Jesus saw this woman and saw that she had something to offer to him. Initially it was just water and He could have stopped the conversation at that. However, our Lord wanted to move on to deeper waters.

The woman wasn’t sure if Jesus knew who she was but our Lord revealed to her that He knew all she had done in her life. These were probably all the things which disqualified her from participating in the social life of her community. In the streets, we often hear preachers doing this very same thing. They list all the things which disqualify people from being part of their religion. In a way, they are trying to shame people into the faith. We also encounter modern humanists who avoid talking about these things altogether. This attitude doesn’t help much. The woman was fully aware why she was marginalized. She thought that perhaps Jesus would have avoided her if He knew who she was. He did and wanted her to know this. Most importantly, He accepted her unconditionally. It is interesting that of all the Samaritans, Jesus chose this woman to be His disciple. In a way, she was His “apostle” to her people. It appears that Jesus always chose the most unlikely people to become His instruments in this world. Sometimes we forget this and adopt the world standards as God’s ways.

The origins of the Samaritans is a disputed subject. The Jewish people in Jesus’ time believed that they were not the pure people of Israel. They believed that the Samaritans had incorporated religious practices which were not aligned with the Law. Consequently, they were considered to be a threat to the pure religious faith of Judaism. The Jewish leaders found it was necessary to isolate the Samaritans because they feared their influence would corrupt the pure doctrines of Judaism. Jesus looked beyond doctrines and perceived that the Samaritans desired to worship the true and living God despite their ignorance. They responded to something deep in their souls. In the same manner, Jesus recognized that this woman spent her life searching for something to satisfy her soul. Jesus saw beyond her misgivings to understand the anguish in her soul. He did not condemn her like the rest of society. He did not believe that she was a bad influence to the rest of the world. He just wanted to give her the Living Water which she desired so much for her life.

The major difference between us and our homeless children is knowledge too. Our children are thrust into this world and forced to survive in it without any guidance nor orientation. We know how this world works and are adjusted to its norms and requirements. Our children are a little lost and do everything it takes to survive. Many times this violates the rules and regulations of proper conduct. Therefore, society considers them as a nuisance and a menace. Sometimes so-called well-adjusted people, like ourselves, tend to think that what our homeless youth need is to learn how to function in this world and everything will be fine. In other words, they have to submit to the requirements of accepted behavior. However, our children may not be interested in these things. Like the Samaritan woman, they have accepted that they will always be marginalized in this society. This is a notion that perhaps is hard for us to imagine. We can waste our time trying to convince them to find ways to integrate when they know that society does not need nor want them. The woman did not find her place in her society after her conversation with Jesus. She remained marginalized. However, she discovered the Living Water. Now, our children are always thirsty for this. If we stop focusing on the wrong things, we might realize that we too need to take a drink from this fountain. In this way, we are the same as our children. We need the living water as much as they do. However, Jesus never really explains exactly what He meant by it. The conversation switched to the subject of the Spirit. Perhaps, it did not. Maybe He just brought the conversation to a deeper place.

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth. John 4:24

In Jesus’ time, the concept of God was very territorial. In modern times, this territorial God is even more restricted. He is confined within certain dominations or religions. We forget that Jesus taught us that God is Spirit and He belongs to no one and He is the God of everyone. He chooses to appear to those whom He pleases. Just because we are born in a Christian family or a middle class home, it doesn’t mean that we have a monopoly of God. He is not confined nor determined by our limitations. He is present wherever there are people who desire to know the true and living God and many among those whom society has deemed as unworthy like the Samaritan woman. Jesus chose her to be channel of His living water to her friends. Apparently, her friends were open to her despite her past and reputation. They recognized that God is Spirit. He is not restricted like we are.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.- Matthew 4:1

Let us consider the temptations of Jesus in the desert and what they mean in our daily lives as Christians. Our Lord came to show us how to live out our humanity in this world. These temptations are not foreign to the average person. They are present in our everyday lives and we need to learn to confront them. Failing to do so might create the risk of allowing them to dominate our spiritual life. However, before we dive deep into the temptations, we have to consider the fact that Jesus fasted in the desert. Fasting brought Jesus to a place of vulnerability and awareness of our weakness and limitations as humans. We often avoid being in this place but Jesus welcomed it. The desert is also a place of isolation and loneliness. It was usually a place one avoids. In the Bible, it is also a place where the people encounter God. The importance of these temptations will be meaningless for those who avoid the desert and the state of vulnerability in their lives. At the same, we cannot live to the fullness unless we confront these elements of our existence.

The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’ But he answered, ‘It is written,
“One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”’ Matthew 4:3-4

I just returned from a short break at a touristic historic city in the state of Rio. We have been to this place several times. However, this time I was impressed by the overwhelming presence of the indigenous people. Maybe I paid more attention to them now because they have been in the news recently. There was a recent tragedy which caused the death and starvation of hundreds of indigenous people in the Amazons. It was due to the greed and corruption of high ranking officials. The case is being investigated but most of us are doubtful if any justice would come of it. Besides, the indigenous people have always been marginalized and considered irrelevant by society. Seeing them in this place reminded us of the grave injustice they have suffered throughout the centuries. They were selling their handicrafts but very few tourists seemed interested. One cannot avoid observing a tinge of melancholy in their demeanor. Finally, a young man took a guitar and started gathering all the children and they sang a song for the tourists. It was obvious that it was just meek attempt to gain some loose change. These once independent people who lived off the abundance of the land were now reduced to a state of almost beggars because their bread was stolen from them.

While waiting for Mary outside a cafe, I noticed a young indigenous man looking curiously at me. Finally he got up the courage to ask if I could speak Spanish. I told him that my Spanish was far from perfect but we could talk. He is from Peru and from the indigenous Quechuan community. He was selling his handmade jewelry and it was obvious that he was going attempt to get a sale off me. However, the conversation took a different route. He shared about his experiences traveling from Peru to Brazil. His country is in a state of political unrest and has been for several years now. One of the many conflicts is between the indigenous people and the powerful and dominating minority who persist in outdated colonial attitudes. However, it was not politics which he wanted to talk about. He wanted to share about his journey here. He started sharing about his most memorable times in Peru with his grandmother and how difficult it was for him to leave her behind to seek a better life. There was something special happening and then he became silent for a moment. He had to sell his wares and at the same time he did not want to it to ruin the moment. Furthermore, he needed to fill his belly with food but not at the cost of sacrificing something much more meaningful. We, in turn, were enriched by his openness and precious stories. He connected us with something real which is completely foreign and unattainable in our everyday life. Finally, he asked us if we were interested in his handmade necklaces. We were not. It wasn’t our style. He didn’t mind and gave us a hug instead. We thanked him for giving something special and we could see that he received something too. We also made sure that his belly wasn’t empty for that day.

He and the rest of the indigenous people came to this place seeking for bread but we need to know that there is more than bread involved. There is something eternal we can receive from them and they from us.

Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written,“He will command his angels concerning you”, and “On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.”’ Jesus said to him, ‘Again it is written, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.”’ Matthew 4:5-7

We went to visit a young homeless youth in intensive care. The way things are arranged here, only one person can be in the room at a time. Mary had gone in to see him and I was in the waiting room. The nurse who was coordinating the visits came and sat next to me. She knew that we ministered to the homeless children and teens and was curious about it. She was apparently a religious person and was curious to know what kind of results we saw in our ministry. I explained that there were no results involved because they are irrelevant. In fact, there was a time when we sought for results. We realized that the quest of results and impressive victory stories became our objective and not the children. Not too mention that often times these victories were short lived. Sometimes these “results” serve more to elevate our own egos than the Kingdom of God. Today, we learned that our faith is here to help us discern and discover what God is doing in our midst together with the children. Sometimes it means walking in the desert and being willing to be vulnerable like the children. Maybe this is the result that our faith brings us. It helps us discover what is special and precious in God’s eyes. The nurse listened attentively. She understood what I was talking about. She works in the intensive care, the place where much tragedy is witnessed. She knows what it means to be helpless and vulnerable and she also knows that in this state much hope is discovered too.

The devil brought Jesus to a religious place to disguise egoistic goals that are often portrayed as something meaningful and useful for the propagation of the good news. However, Jesus did not submit to such superficial notions. He knew faith has a higher goal than serving mere shallow sensationalist objectives.

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Away with you, Satan! for it is written,“Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.” Matthew 4:8-10

What can be said of this final temptation except that its warning is constantly ignored. We are quick to rush into an alliance of the ruler of this world. Jesus was tempted throughout his life to create an alliance. He was tempted by the religious authorities. He was tempted by an invitation to be a friend of Herod. Pontius Pilate tempted Jesus to reach out to him, Jesus only had to plead with him and his life would be saved. Jesus refused to submit even at the point of suffering a painful and tortuous death Today, many willingly and easily ally themselves with rulers of this world for a mere plate of lentil soup. It is not that they are all bad. It is that their values and principles have nothing to do with the Kingdom of God. In this world, violence, lies, slander and greed are essential for success. We cannot be unequally yoked with these diabolic values. We need to ask ourselves whether we, at a personal level, are allying ourselves with the world when we submit to the temptations of self promotion using the tools of social media. No doubt the social media have many good things but at the same time, they can be a vehicle to promote the values of this world. The temptation is to justify it as a means of creating a network. However, we have to ask ourselves whether it is worth creating a network and allowing principles so contrary to the gospel slip into our lives. Only a deep and thoughtful reflection will help us discern this. We need to go to the desert for this.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. (Gen. 3:19)

Maybe this is common knowledge or maybe it is not. The four days before Ash Wednesday are the time of Carnival in Brazil. Therefore, all the revelry associated with it has a somewhat religious foundation riddled with bad theology. It is thought to be the last chance to indulge in our sensual pleasures before giving up everything for the season. It is just like the Shrove Tuesday in our Anglican tradition except with less pancakes and more dancing, loud music and lots of alcohol among other things. Needless to say, the meaning of Lent is lost in the midst of this. Many just view Ash Wednesday as the prelude to carnival and nothing more.

Our children and youth don’t even know that there is such a thing as Lent. They have seen people with ashes on their foreheads but are often confused by it. They imagine that it is some strange Catholic ritual. I tried explaining to them that it is reminder of our mortality. This further confused them. Initially, I didn’t understand why but it became clearer eventually. They find it strange why anyone needs to be reminded of their mortality. They are always reminded of it. They don’t have the privilege to hide from it like most of us. We can afford to fill our lives with noises and “important” things to do in order to avoid reflecting on our mortality. After all, who wants to think about their impending death? It sounds like a killjoy. However, the contrary is true. We cannot begin to truly appreciate life until we address our mortality. Until we accept that our time here is limited, we will never be able to live a fulfilling life. The season of Lent is not a season to forego pleasures. It is the opportunity to discover Life but first we have to accept that we are dust. Whatever we achieve in this world or whoever we come to know in this life is not going to prevent us from returning to dust.

This is not meant to put us down and make us feel small and insignificant. It is to remind us of the frailty of life. Just as the wind blows the dust away that is here today and gone tomorrow. Our lives are just as vulnerable to the winds of time. We do not have control of the time we possess here in life and it doesn’t take much for us to lose our existence. Many find this rather uncomfortable but it is something we must confront. It is unavoidable. Any time someone we know passes, even when the person is not particularly close to us, we are reminded of our mortality. Our children cry whenever one of their friends dies tragically. They shed tears for the one who is gone but they also mourn for their own imminent end.

Recently we visited Wanderson in the intensive care. Just a few weeks ago, he was on life support and the doctors thought his chances of survival are slim. He had contracted tuberculosis and his immune system is greatly compromised due to HIV. We were mentally preparing ourselves for his passing. He is only twenty and we have known him since he was 11. We have had a close relationship with him from the beginning. Thankfully, he survived the worst of it. Maybe it was due to prayers. Wanderson looks good even though he is reduced to skin and bones. He has a hopeful demeanor. He told me that he wants to live a new life, or rather, a more meaningful life. These are really my words gathered from what he said. He has difficulty expressing himself. His mental age is that of a ten year old. Thankfully, this does not hinder him from wanting a fulfilling life. The world has nothing to say to Wanderson on this matter but Jesus has the Words of Life.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

It is very possible that this verse is the only biblical reference that most Christians have memorized. It is a good verse. It is a promise made by someone who never falters in His word. Eternal Life is promised but not after our death. It is for the here and now. Perhaps, if we think of it as a meaningful life, it might help us to bring it into our reality. Wanderson does not want to wait for changes in the hereafter. He wants it now. However, all the promises of a better life which the world promises are not open to him. He may never fully leave homelessness. No doubt he will never be able to have a good steady job. Despite all this, eternal life is still available to Wanderson. Perhaps it is something that he might be able to appreciate more than most people who are very successful in this world. The challenge is how do we make this eternal life a living reality for Wanderson and for ourselves.

Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. Matthew 6:1

As social creatures, we are always concerned about what others think about us. We want people to affirm that we are worthy of salvation. We want others to see that we are good and holy people. In the process, we end up living a spirituality which is void of God but full of selfish motivations. No one is immune to this. Jesus helps us cultivate a spirituality to help us perceive His gracious gift in this life. The first step is for us to understand that life is too short for us to engage in the futile activities of impressing others. Wanderson lived his life trying to be seen by others in the streets. Now, he wants something different. He doesn’t know what he wants exactly but he is ready for something new. Most of us can appreciate his feelings. Maybe we share his sentiments too. We want to live a meaningful life but are unsure if eternity is within our grasp.

Jesus invites us to discover eternal life which is given graciously. However, first, we need to free ourselves from the things blinding us from perceiving His eternal gift. Fasting, praying, giving alms, serving the poor, trusting in God for our security..all these things are not meant to ensure our eternal life. Pharisees did many of these things but they did not perceive eternal life in their midst. Jesus teaches us that these are mere tools to help us to become open and spiritually available to perceive the free gift of eternal life bestowed upon us now. We don’t need to bring anything to the table except ourselves. It is a special gift for each one of us. Wanderson’s perception of this gift will be different from mine but it will definitely enrich my understanding of it. Eternal life is too rich and deep to be confined in any doctrine or theory. It is too mysterious to be explained away. It doesn’t mean that it is incomprehensible. However, it can only be understood through the power of faith and it must be grasped by the individual involved. No one can do it for me nor Wanderson. We each have to discover it for ourselves. When we do, it will give us hope in the face of uncertainties of Life. It will give us the assurance to confront our own mortality and not be afraid nor paralyzed by it. Wanderson walked through the valley of the shadow of death. He survived and knows that our Lord was with Him but he could not see Him clearly. He also knows that the danger is still not over but this time he wants to see the hands of the Good Shepherd who has always guided with him. Like Wanderson, we can face the valley of the shadow of death knowing that the teachings and life of Jesus will guide us through it to a meaningful and eternal existence.

The season of Lent is not about giving up certain things or practices but it is about salvation. It is about discovering Life. It is about living a meaningful life.

Have a Blessed Lent.

You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murder”; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You fool”, you will be liable to the hell of fire. Matthew 5:21-22

In the past, I would have skipped these verses altogether in my sermon. It is not that I didn’t think they are important. I always found it hard to add anything more to them. However, many things have happened in our lives and ministry in the past few years. We have experienced a government that has neglected people in the worst crisis in modern times. Many times we have felt helpless and angry. In these situations, I found these verses disturb ing. I am sure that many might think that these verses are not too hard for anyone to follow. We just have to watch our language. Treat people with respect. You know the drill. However, these are easy things to do when things are comfortable in our lives. A few years ago, our friend lost her kind and well-beloved daughter to an accident. The driver responsible for the accident was texting and did not pay attention to a stop sign. Our friend’s daughter ended up in a coma and a week later she left a two year old child and a grieving husband to be alone in this world. The driver instead of showing any remorse posted her picture saying that she got a new car out of the whole deal. One can’t help but say that this driver is a complete….wait a minute. Jesus said that this is the same as murder.

Violence is a constant presence in the streets. Our children suffer from it and they also commit it. We have witnessed this countless times. Each time there is a sense of disgust and anger which arises in our souls, sometimes even thoughts of violence towards the perpetrators. Again, the words of Jesus haunt us. They reveal that murderous attitudes are lying dormant in our hearts. We use words like “fools” or “idiots” instead of physical violence to express our disdain. Jesus says this is giving into our murderous nature. It seems to be a little unfair. After all, we do have the right to be mad at those who treat others in a cruel and unjust manner. I thought that there is room for righteous indignation. However, Jesus warns that this is a dangerous road. It can ruin our worship. It can contaminate our faith. It can make us become like the Pharisees and the Scribes whose spirituality we are to surpass.

Jesus says difficult things about adultery and divorce. Let us go deeper into these teachings and let us be clear here. This is not about sex. It is about being unhappy in one’s life and some times this is justifiable. People can be in abusive relationships and desire to be with someone else who will treat them the way they should. This seems like a good thing to do. After all, Jesus desires for us to have abundant life too. However, He has a problem with it when we use the instruments of this world to achieve our goal.

There is a saintly theologian who says all the ten commandments can be summed up into one law. “Thou shall not covet.” Often times, we tend to think that the last is the least. However, this theologian interprets it as a summary of all the things which came before it. The sin of covetousness is the desire to possess the thing which doesn’t belong to us. We believe that we should have these things and use any means to attain them. Consequently, we adjust the image of God according to one that satisfies our desires. We create an idol that will condone our use of violence, slander, manipulation and selfishness to achieve our happiness. Everything which Jesus warns us against doing. However, it doesn’t mean that as followers of Jesus we are to surrender to whatever life throws at us and do nothing about it. Fatalism is not the message of the gospel.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Remember these verses. They came before these teachings and are connected to them. The beatitudes represent people who are dissatisfied with what the world offers to them. Jesus has high hopes for us. He is speaking to us as if we are these people. He wants to make sure that in our frustration and dissatisfaction, we do not use the resources of this age to carve a place for ourselves in this world. Jesus is offering something new but we cannot see and comprehend it until we stop trying to build our own version of the Kingdom of God with all the wrong tools. This is why Jesus tells us,

“Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”

Our spirituality is a composite of “Yes” and “No”. We say “yes” to the things that are within our power to do and “No” to those things which are beyond our ability and capacity. It is humbling to discover that most of the time, we have to say “No” but it makes our “Yes” even more powerful.

In the streets, Taina is one of the most difficult homeless girls. She is, by no means, a difficult person. She is quite a shy person and has never been rude or disrespectful to us. She is difficult because her condition makes us feel helpless and lost. She is a second generation homeless girl. She had four children before she turned 18 and all of them are third generation homeless. Taina is not an irresponsible person neither a promiscuous one. She just doesn’t know anything else besides being homeless. She sleeps in the streets and has done so from the day she was born. On rare occasions her family were squatters in one of the many abandoned buildings in São Paulo. To make matters worse, she is quite an intelligent and artistic person. We see her potential but she doesn’t believe anything will come out of it. Her mother is in the streets with her. She has spent her whole life being homeless too. This is a family who have accepted that homelessness is the only option for them. Sad to say, they are not wrong. There is nothing they can do which will change this. We feel helpless and useless when we see this young girl. We cannot make any promises that will guarantee a better life for her. There are just countless of “No”. We can only say “Yes” to being present in the streets for her. It seems rather weak and insignificant compared her needs.

Usually we stay in the streets until all the children and teens get a little bored with our presence. Thankfully, especially for our personal ego, we are leaving the streets later than usual nowadays. Since there are about two hundred children in the area, so we don’t get to see everyone every day. One day as we were on our home, we heard someone running after us. We turned around and it was Taina. We thought maybe she needed some help with money for food or diapers. Instead Taina came up to us and said that she just wanted to say hi. She had seen us but didn’t get the chance to come around and just wanted to make sure that we didn’t think she was ignoring us. She hugged us and even gave us a kiss. Then she just left. We were quite amazed with her little deed. We felt like we received a special gift.

There is something Taina saw in us even though we can not do much to improve her lot in life. We saw something in Taina which many don’t see because they cannot see beyond her homelessness. Taina doesn’t want us to change her condition. She knows better than us that it is an uphill battle. However, she wants people to love her as she is and she wants to love people, too. However, not many are giving her the opportunity to do so. Like ourselves, Taina also has to say “No” to many things but she is able to do much with the limited “Yes” in her life. On that particular day, Taina saw an opportunity and shared her love with us. She wanted to share the little she had with us. Now, it remains with us for eternity.

Instead of lamenting about the countless “No” we are forced to say, we realized that God can do much with our limited “Yes”. Like the other story about two fish and five loaves. We will save that one for another time.

For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. -Matthew 5:20

Prior to this, Jesus mentioned that we are the Salt and the Light of the world. These are important things that shape our daily spiritual lives. However, before we reflect on these things, we need to heed Jesus’ warning. We are to be different from the Pharisees and the Scribes. These also believed that they were the salt and the Light of the world. We always tend to think of them in a negative light. It is not entirely our fault. They were represented as the primary opposition in the gospels. Jesus defined the Pharisees as people who lived their lives on the surface. They did not dare to go deeper than what it was written. They were satisfied dwelling in the superficiality of life. Consequently, they interpreted their roles without much depth nor insight. They believed that they were the salt. They were convinced that they preserved the identity and vocation of the Jewish people. They believed that they were the Light because they upheld the purity of the Law. They believed it was their duty to point out to others the error of their ways and maintain the pure doctrine of their faith. There are many who follow the footsteps of the Pharisees today. It is an easier path to follow. This is why Jesus warns against walking down this road.

In Jesus’ time, one of the uses of salt was to heal. Salt was also used to preserve food and even as a form of currency. In the gospels, the most prominent part of Jesus’ ministry is healing. Wherever He went, He healed. Therefore, I want to focus on this aspect of salt because it plays an essential role in our ministry. Our children and teens need healing. One of the messages they have received since they were young is that they are not wanted. They have accepted this message as the truth even though it paralyses them. Sometimes people with good intentions unknowingly contribute to this lie. They go to the streets and try to convince the children that they will be accepted if they do such and such a thing. We were one of them. We thought that if the children got a good education and started working, they would be accepted. There is nothing wrong with this. However, unknowingly, we were implying that their rejection was their own fault. Besides, it is not easy for someone who has been homeless since 10 or younger to get an education which is considered worthy of a good job. It is also not easy for someone that has experienced rejection all their lives to overcome their sense of inferiority and get a regular job. Our children carry a deep wound in their souls and they need healing. However, they will never show their wound to anyone. It is too personal for them. In the same manner, we never want to reveal what is deep in our hearts. There are things that we experience which are so deep that we don’t even understand them. Most of us put up barriers that keep people out. We are afraid that we will be rejected if people can see our vulnerability and imperfections. Our children are no different from us. They are fearful to show themselves to the world but at the same time, they don’t want to be invisible to the world.

Our children need healing. They desire to know that they are accepted. It cannot be an acceptance with conditions. This is the spirituality of the Pharisees. They only accept people when they follow their doctrines and traditions. Jesus accepted people unconditionally. It was His unconditional love which helped us find our way in this world. We were once and maybe still are people who are wandering aimlessly without knowing our true purpose. This is, in essence, the definition of sin in the Bible; missing the mark, or rather, not knowing why we exist at all.

We cannot be just the Salt. We need to be the Light so that we can see where and how to apply the healing salt. These two elements are inseparable. Sometimes we are afraid of the Light because it exposes everything we keep hidden in the dark. We only have reason to fear the Light if we think of it as a force which judges and condemns us. This again is the message of the religion of the Pharisees. Their message is a message of condemnation. However, Jesus did not come to condemn but to heal. This is the biblical meaning of the word, salvation. It means healing.

The Light reveals who we are truly. We can see how God sees us and we can see the obstacles before us which hinder us from being the person we are meant to be. There is conflict in our souls. We are polarized. There is a lot of talk that this country being polarized. It is not just restricted to a particular country. It is a worldwide phenomenon. However, it goes beyond politics. This divide exists in our souls. We see children and teens who have much goodness and love in their hearts and yet sometimes they do things which are completely contradictory to their nature. They sense and know this but they are helpless to change it.

“For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.” Romans 7:19

There are about two hundred homeless children and teens who live in the streets where we minister. As you can imagine, the streets is a tough place and you have to be tough to survive. The girls, for obvious reasons, have to be tougher than the rest. One of the most intimidating girls is Dyana. Often times we saw her yelling at the other kids or her boyfriend. No one messes with her. Initially she hardly spoke to us for months but not because she did not like us. Even though we did think so initially. Eventually we realized that she is quite shy girl. One day she approached us and asked if she could do something with us. We were little surprised and happy at the same time. It was almost as if she became an entirely different person when she was with us. She revealed her more gentle and tender side.

On another occasion, there was a new trans teenager in the streets. As usual, the new ones are always a target for the others. One of the older boys got in an altercation with her and it was gradually escalating. I was keeping an eye on the situation. Then I saw Dyana stepped in and protect the trans teen. She stood between the teen and her aggressor. At one point, she even yelled at the aggressor saying that he would have to hurt her first before laying a finger on the newcomer. Eventually things calmed down and I never saw the newcomer again after that day. The next day I told Dyana that what she did was very special and kind. She smiled and said, “I can’t just sit there and let this poor girl be bullied.” We don’t know anything about Dyana’s background but it is obvious that she did not have it easy. She did not choose to be homeless but she is not going to allow her condition stop her from showing compassion and love to those who need it. She doesn’t do many activities with us but is always respectful and gives Mary a hug whenever she sees her. This is the real Dyana. The Light has revealed her heart to us and now we can become agents of healing too. Now, we cannot see her as that intimidating person, instead we see a kind person trying to get out of the tough exterior.

Being the Salt and Light of the world is not a chore. It is actually one of most wonderful aspects of the gospel. Jesus invites to participate in seeing the beauty and depth of God’s love in this world. Many have passed by the streets and think Dyana is an unruly teenager girl. We are the salt and the Light of the world. We see what others cannot see. We had a glimpse of the beauty which God sees in this young girl and now we can proclaim God’s healing into her life. However, we will not be able to recognize this beauty unless our spirituality goes beyond that of the Pharisees.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”Matthew 5:3

In my last parish, I preached a sermon on the rich young ruler. You know it. It’s the one that ends with the unforgettable saying, “It is easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” We used to have a Bible study immediately after the service. Before we could start, a member insisted that we talk about the sermon. She was obviously disturbed by it. She wanted to know how a middle class American like herself had any chance of entering the Kingdom of God. I was impressed by her honesty. She did not attempt to justify nor deny her privileged status. Most middle class Americans live better than Roman Senators in Jesus’ period. Her sincerity gave the other members the courage to have an open discussion on what it means to be rich in the light of the gospel. We had to put aside our bible study and had a heart to heart discussion about the subject. Needless to say, we did not reach any plausible conclusions. This is not the point. Jesus gives us a lot of things to wrestle with and hopefully in the process, we discover the deeper meaning of the gospel for our lives.

Just for the record, I do not believe that Jesus wants us to sell all our belongings and give all to the poor. I believe that this was something he said specifically to that young man. Although, we have examples of many saints in our Christian tradition who have done this. However, this is not what Jesus desires for all of us. In the gospel of Luke, there were several wealthy women who supported Jesus in his ministry. Jesus never expected them to give up everything. The second important thing I want to clarify is this is not a subtle self-promotion on my part. It might seem like Mary and I am doing what Jesus said. It might seem that we have left everything to serve in the streets. However, we are still rich; I mean, we still have lots of resources. This is perhaps why there is a qualifier attached to this beatitude, “in the spirit”. You can be poor but still be rich in resources. If I find myself in dire straits, all I have to do is make some phone calls or write to the churches and I believe many will come to our aid. During the Pandemic, especially during the period of quarantine, I was confined in a comfortable apartment lacking nothing whereas there were millions in Brazil were forced to risk their lives and work in order to put food on the table. Many have died as a result of this. I had resources to deal with the pandemic. I belong to the privileged class but we know many who are poor in spirit.

In the beginning of this year, we received a call from Kawanna. She is one of the homeless teens who has become a squatter in an abandoned storage space under a highway bridge. It is not appropriate for housing by any means. They lack running water and electricity. However, many families who occupy these spaces usually have skills that enable to get these things through creative means, usually bordering on illegal. This abandoned storage space is divided into tiny rooms and Kawanna lived there with her partner. It is her first real home and they have been there for a year. Often times, they invite the other children and teens to take showers and have a warm place to stay during cold nights. The space is tiny but their hearts are big. Unfortunately, immediately after Christmas, her partner suffered from a violent psychotic episode. Mental illness is common plague among our homeless children. This resulted in a violent physical struggle and Kawanna had to leave her home for her own safety. She was back being homeless again. As you can imagine, the streets is a dangerous for a lonely 21 year old girl. She had no one to turn for help. She called us.

We asked what she needed from us concretely. We assured her that we were willing and open to help her in any way. Unfortunately, all she could do was cry. She was at a complete loss. She had no family support. Her mother had abandoned her since she was a child. Her friends in the street would offer drugs to soothe her pain. She did not want that anymore. She felt that everything was working against her and it was hopeless situation. She was truly poor in every possible way.

Jesus said that someone like Kawanna is truly blessed. Seeing this young beautiful girl in tears with no support and hope makes it seem like Jesus was out of His mind to make such a statement. After all, who in their right mind would consider her “blessed”. We put all our strength and energy to avoid being in her situation. Yet Jesus sees things differently. It is so different that it is hard for us to comprehend. Whenever we read this verse or any other verses which make us feel uncomfortable, we tend to skim through it without dwelling too much on it. This is because we are comfortable where we are in this world. This is the problem. We may not be ready to receive what He wants to offer us. Kawanna, on the other hand, reads this verse with joy and hope. She is ready to receive what the Lord has for her. She has received nothing in this world worth holding onto.

Our homeless children and teens do not have any hope in this world. They do not believe that the politicians whether good or bad will change their lot in life. They don’t believe that education is going to open doors for them. Sad to say, they are right. It is not that they lack ambition nor drive for life. They just don’t trust this world. After all it has rejected and despised them from the day they were born. However, this does not mean that they are hopeless. This is perhaps the most fascinating thing about our children. They still have hope to find meaning and fulfillment in Life. However, they don’t share our definition on this matter. We have our feet planted in two Kingdoms. We like to have treasures in both worlds. Eventually we will discover that only one of these treasures will endure. Our children know that there is nothing in this world for them. They have eyes and ears only for what the Kingdom of God has to offer to them. And what exactly Jesus offers to them?

After the tears have dried, Kawanna, asked us if we could help pay for a night in a hostel. It was a temporary solution but it was necessary for that night. Nevertheless, we had no idea how to find a permanent solution. We were honest about it. We were also honest about our concerns for her. We shared that we wanted what is best for her and will be willing to help her explore all possibilities. There is something special and beautiful about this young girl. We have known her for a while. In spite of all unfairness she had experienced in life, she is one of the most caring and loving girls in the streets. Our friendship with her opened the doors for the others teenage girls to approach us. Kawanna listened and then she hugged us. This was what she needed to hear. She did not call us to solve her problems. She was no fool. She knew that nothing would be resolved immediately. She was feeling vulnerable and lost. She wanted to hear that she was still loved and accepted. For her, this was the most important thing in her life. This is the treasure she seeks to live a fulfilling life. The moment of sadness almost disappeared immediately. Kawanna talked about her interest in plants and music. She showed a renewed zest for life. Later in the week, she convinced her partner to seek medical help. It seems like they are back on the right track. We learned that the things which make life beautiful and special are not living a comfortable and peaceful life in this world but receiving the people that Jesus has put in our lives. These people are the Kingdom of God. These are the treasures which our children constantly seek in the streets. They are open to find them and they discover them in all shapes and forms. Sometimes for us, wealth and success in this world can distract us from appreciating these eternal treasures.

Being poor in spirit is not desirable but it opens our heart to realize what are the most valuable things in Life. In this way, it is truly a blessing. We don’t have to be poor to understand this. We just have to be open to know that the poor have valuable things to teach us about life. We need to have eyes and ear to listen and humility helps, too.

I first came to this city in 1994. Almost thirty years ago; sometimes it’s hard to believe it was that long ago. I travelled 56 hours by interstate bus from the city of Manaus in the Amazons to São Paulo. It was from one extreme to another in many ways. When I got off the bus, I was confronted by this huge and chaotic mega city which seemed strange and familiar to me. I have always been an urbanite. From the bus station, I managed to find my way to the missionary center without the aid of a cell phone nor GPS, all these were non existent at that time, at least, not for the general public. My Portuguese was basic. I had only been living in Brazil only for six months. Upon arrival, I was introduced to the team who worked with the homeless children which then consisted of an American couple, John and Patty, one Brazilian, Marinette, and, a German, Karin. Almost immediately, I was invited to a picnic they organized with some of the older homeless teens the next day. They thought it was a good way to introduce me to the children and teens.

The next day, we went to the streets to pick up the teens for the picnic. The homeless youth then hung out exactly at the same place were we meet them today. There were literally hundreds of children of all ages sleeping in the streets. I remember that the official count was about three to four hundred just in that particular area. They were dressed in clothes that were literally torn and tattered and their faces were covered with specks of dirt. They looked like personalities from a Dickens novel. Almost all of them had with them the same kind of blanket but filthy in varying degrees. Curiously, the same blankets are distributed to the homeless population today. The children were sniffing some pink substance in a plastic bag. I found out later that it was nail polish. It was the cheapest drug available then. Today our children sniff paint thinner which is basically the same stuff. My team mates introduced me to three older teens, Nelson, Pedro and another one whose name I can’t recall. They were the very first homeless youth I met in this city.

We went to a park together and they were curious about me and asked a lot of questions. I understood some things but my Portuguese was not good enough to have any profound conversation. It did not bother me. I was interested in just being with them. Later on I discover that these friendly young teens robbed together. It was hard to believe as well as disturbing to think that they could be dangerous criminals. It contradicted who they were when they were with us. In the park, they just appeared like any teenager who was having a good time with a bunch of older friends.

Karin did not stay long after my arrival. She eventually got married and settled down in Germany. Marinette, unfortunately, died about less than a year later due to allergic reactions to antibiotics. Just after six months in the streets, I became the most senior team member excluding the American couple who stayed until the very end of our time. They took care of the other aspects of the ministry which allowed the rest of us to spend more time in the streets. Mary arrived shortly after and soon we fell in love and got married. Everything happened here in the streets of São Paulo.

Nelson was the only one of the three who we saw most often after my first meeting. He got more and more involved in crime as he grew older. He was stuck in a vicious cycle and could not find a way out. Once he was shot eight times. Miraculously he survived. Then, just like that, he disappeared. In fact, no one even remembered him in the streets after a while. We assumed that he died. Sadly, a large percentage of the three hundred homeless children and teens never made it past the age of 25. It was also during the time of the AIDs pandemic and about 90 percent of the children were HIV positive.

On the second day of this New Year (2023), as we were talking with the children in the streets, a man approached us. He was almost completely bald. He looked like a young man who had aged prematurely. We were too engaged in our conversations to pay attention to him. His face looked friendly and I assumed that he was a curious passerby. He looked at us and said, “I know you!” Then he went on to mention the names of Karin and Marinette. Mary could not remember him and to be frank neither did I. For some reason, almost instinctively, I blurted out, “Nelson!” Then he smiled and said, “You do remember me!!”

He had been in prison for 14 years. It was his personal wilderness. In prison, he was tempted to join the local prison gang which is the largest in Brazil. They wanted him to become part of their brotherhood. This is how they see themselves. In the streets, every addresses them as the “brothers”. Many of his friends did not resist but Nelson decided it was time for a change. He said it was during this time, he felt that the reality of Christ in his life. I am not sure what this really meant for him. Time did not permit us to delve deeper into this. However, it was obvious that it has had a profound impact in his life and a radical change. The amazing thing is that he claims to remember almost every detail of our conversations and things we used to do together. He especially remembered Karin fondly. She was a major influence in his life. This was almost thirty years ago. I hardly recall anything.

Upon his release, he went out to look for jobs and is still seeking employment. He does odd jobs here and there but has not found nothing permanent yet. Since he has been out, he had been robbed twice. He said this in a way that he almost sounded like he was proud of it. He said, “I was an aggressive robber and now I am a victim.” Even though no one wants to be a victim ever, Nelson liked the fact he did not feel the need to be violent when it happened. It was almost as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He emphasized that he is a “softy” and he was fine with it. He is now free to be who he really is without having to prove anything to anyone. He is at peace with himself. It took him a long time to get here.

Nelson is 48 years old. When I first started working with the homeless children and teens, I was only 24. I was old enough to be their older brother then. Today, I am as old as some of the grandparents of our children and teens. Nelson asked what we were doing now. It felt good to say we are doing the same thing as we did thirty years ago.

In reality, it is very difficult to answer what we do exactly. We know why we are here but how we go about our ministry often varies. We do a little bit of everything. When the children are hungry or thirsty, we buy food and drinks for them. When they need a place to live, we try to find a safe place for them. When they are sick, we make sure that they are taken care of. However, these things the children can get without us, or rather, we are not the only ones in the streets able to do this for them. There are many who can perhaps do a better job at these things than us. For some of our kids, we are a permanent presence in the street offering something different than the rest. In the streets, drugs are always present and available. There is the overwhelming presence of violence and oppression. There is much hatred and anger. The worst of all is the constant reminder of their rejection and abandonment. We want our children and teens to know that all these things cannot hinder the power of eternal love which is always present in their lives. Many times, it takes them a while to realize this because of their pain and loneliness. However, it is not just a one way traffic. We also need our children and teens to help us understand the eternal love of God.

If someone asked Nelson what we did for him, he would not be able to give a straightforward answer. Most of our children and teens might feel the same. However, they always introduce us to strangers as people who counsel and teach them. Sometimes they exaggerate and claim that we do things which we have never done like cutting their hair etc. We are something that they did not have in their lives. They also give us something which is lacking in our lives. If someone wants to know the specifics, then there is nothing we can say which would be adequate. All we know is that together we discover something good and beautiful based on the foundation of the love and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, ‘Look, here is the Lamb of God!’ The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’ They said to him, ‘Rabbi’ (which translated means Teacher), ‘where are you staying?’ He said to them, ‘Come and see.’ They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. John 1:35-39

This is such a strange story sandwiched between the Baptism of our Lord and Peter’s calling. I must have read this text countless times but never paid any attention to its peculiarity. This time I was drawn to it. Maybe it is because I am busy preparing for our time in Florida. I have been reflecting on what to share with the churches. We have been here ten years. If I had been a parish priest in a regular church, I would mostly likely be thinking about moving on to another parish. It is not because I do not like to stay put in one place. I often have the feeling after spending a long time in one place that I have nothing to offer anymore. However, I do not feel this way about our ministry here. I still feel there is a lot of room to grow. One of the older homeless youth said jokingly to us, “You are one of us now. You found something special in the streets and now you just want to be here all the time.” He is right. Despite all the violence and hostile challenges before us, we do want to be in the streets.

It is curious why the evangelist John mentioned that it was four in the afternoon. He thought it was crucial information but the exact reasons are lost to us. Maybe it is better this way. It gives us the freedom to read this and allow the Holy Spirit speak to us personally. As for me, it talks about the perfect hour to make a decision. It marks the end of the day before a new one begins. The disciples followed John the Baptist because they were seeking for a spiritual place which they could call their home. Jesus invited them to come and see for themselves.

I loved parish ministry. I enjoyed visiting people in the hospitals. I enjoyed visiting people in their homes. All the precious conversations I had with the congregants are part of who I am now. However, I am not a big fan of meetings, I have to admit this. In parish ministry, meetings are indispensable. Then the time came for me to make the decision. I was at a point where I could decide to remain where I was or move on. I was ready to go but I wanted to find a place I could call my permanent home. In the same sense, the gospel story tells us the disciples of John were faced with a crucial decision. They could remain as John’s disciples or follow Jesus. There was no contradiction in being one or the other. Strangely, it was John the Baptist who pointed out Jesus to them. In many ways, it was my years as a parish priest that pointed to me the direction which I should take in my life. It helped me discover who I am and the things which helped me sense that was living my vocation. There was the comfort of remaining where I was. There was nothing wrong with this. However, my soul was seeking its permanent home.

Not all of us feel at home at the same place. John the Baptist had many disciples but two decided it was time to move on. The others felt that they were in the right place and remained with John until much later. Those who remained were by no means inferior to those who left. Each person felt spiritually at home where they were. I asked the Lamb of God to show us where He lived. He asked me to come and see the streets of São Paulo. The hour was coming. We decided it is time to stay where the Lamb of God is most present to us. Maybe one day, the Lamb of God will bring us to another place. It is possible. After all, our Lord said,

‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ Matthew 8:20

It is not the place in itself which makes it our home but where we see His presence clearly. It is late now but there is something else I want to say.

There is another reason why I was drawn to the this text.

I was hoping to have a relaxing week before our trip. However, you know, “Best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry.” We had a young man, Wanderson, whom some of you pray for regularly, was admitted to the hospital. He had a serious case of pneumonia. The cold winds in the streets were not helping his condition. We had been after him for weeks to go the doctor and even offered to pay for his cab. However, he was stubborn and behaving like a typical male. For some reason, there is something in our masculine outlook that thinks our illness will go away naturally without any effort on our part. To make matter worse, he is HIV positive. He looked exactly like someone in the final stages of this dreadful disease. Finally, he was in such a bad state that they had to take him in an ambulance. He is not doing well but he is receiving the necessary treatment. It was quite stressful to see him in this condition. Now, we have to find a way to visit him which is not as easy as it sounds here in Brazil.

Then, one of our favorite girls who had left the streets became homeless again because of a breakup. She was desperate and depressed. She really did not want to go back to sleeping in the streets with the others. She felt that she might be tempted to use drugs again and all the other negative activities of the homeless life. Unfortunately, she has no where to go and no family support. She called us because we were the only ones she knew who could help her. She was afraid to sleep in the streets alone and rightly so. There are lots of predators lurking around looking for victims in the streets. She had been sneaking into the subway station after it closed so that she can be a protected area while she sleeps.

In both instances, I thought about Jesus inviting the disciples to see His home. I wondered what I would have done if either one of these young people had asked to come to our home. They didn’t. I am ashamed to say that I was a little relieved. Most likely we would have opened up our home if they had asked but not without a sense of .…I don’t know exactly. We are busy preparing for a trip. This seems like a weak excuse.

Thankfully, Wanderson is in the place where he needs to be. The young girl knows that we will do anything for her to help her avoid sleeping in the streets. She told us that she will let us how we can help her. We did pay for her to stay in a hostel of her choice. We saw her today and she seems to be doing better. She even asked a lot of questions about our trip and asked us to take tons of pictures.

We like having our children and teens over to our home. Felipe has come here before and so did Igor. We even baked a cake and had Aline over for her birthday. We usually love having company. We have an extra bed for guests. However, our relationship with our children and teens has grown over the years and their opinion of us matters greatly to us. I am afraid that they might see our home and feel that we are too different from them to be their friends. Our home is not luxurious by any means. Nevertheless, for those who have spent their whole lives sleeping in the streets and come from homes where seven people sleep on one double bed, our home is like a palace in comparison. Besides, our children and teens never get invited to homes as guests. When they do, they tend to clam up as soon as they enter an environment which is foreign and intimidating to them. It never happened to the ones who came here recently but we saw this when we first started working in this ministry in the mid nineties. Ever since then, we realized that the children needed to be prepared. It seemed to me in the gospel story, John the Baptist prepared his disciples and when they right time came, they knew exactly what to do when they stayed with Jesus. Perhaps, we have come to a stage in our ministry where our home becomes an extension of the things we do in the streets. There will come a time when someone like this young girl might need a place to feel safe and secure and if she asks, “where are you staying?” we want to say, “Come and see where we live.”