A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’ John 20:26-29

This is definitely one of my favorite passages from the gospels. It gives us permission to talk about doubt. Many times people are afraid to be misunderstood when they express their doubts because most of us are taught to think that doubt is incompatible with faith.

There is doubt and then there is being consumed by doubt which is incompatible with faith. Many great saints in the history of our faith had doubts. Their doubts helped them in their faith. However, the contrary is also true. There are many who claim to have faith but doubts consumed their souls. They live in a world where everything is filtered through their doubts. It becomes their primary expression of faith.

Having doubts is not contrary to faith. Thomas had faith but he questioned what the apostles told him. If he had lost his faith, he would have gone back to whatever he was doing before he followed Jesus. Instead, he was with the apostles even though the Man in whom he based his faith was tortured and murdered right before his very eyes. Now, the apostles were telling him something incredibly new. Christ had risen from the grave. If we can place ourselves in the shoes of this man, we can understand that all this would be a bit overwhelming for any decent person. Understandably, the words of his fellow apostles were not sufficient. He had to know for himself. He had doubts and only the true living Lord could satisfy him. He was not going to base his faith on hearsay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Not to forget, all apostles only believed after they met the Risen Christ. Therefore, Thomas was not any different from any one of them. Jesus met this apostle where he was spiritually.

Jesus never rebuked Thomas for questioning the accounts of the disciples. We have to be careful that we do not insert what is not present in the text. Jesus did not rebuke Thomas! He freely attended to the apostle’s conditions so that he could be free from his doubts and believe. His demands were not reasonable at that time. Jesus was still present in flesh and blood. He wanted to meet Jesus in this manner, albeit a little morbid. Thomas had deep faith despite his doubts. It was more profound than the other apostles. The gospel tells us that he was the first one in the gospel to confess the divinity of Jesus in a public manner. The other apostles saw the resurrected Lord and were amazed. However, only Thomas connected all the dots. His doubts helped him to reconstruct his concept of Jesus. Doubts have a tendency to this. They can help us to see the magnitude of God’s love and power in a new light.

Human history reveals to us that doubts open doors to great discovery. The early philosophers expressed doubts about the veracity of the Greek mythology. Their doubts led them to seek the Truth in nature and the order of the universe. Their discovery helped them formulate the concept of the Logos, the Living Word, which our beloved evangelist redefines in his introduction of the ever-living presence of Jesus in the gospel of John. St Augustine of Hippo doubted that God in the Old Testament was the same as the One in the New Testament. His doubts helped him discover the nature of God and our limited understanding of the nature of evil. Martin Luther doubted what was taught to him in the Roman Catholic Church. He questioned the image of God which was presented to him. It freed him to rediscover the image of God revealed in Jesus. Our history is filled with people who had doubts but they never lost their faith. Their doubts helped them rediscover the face of God. However, there is an important element present in all these people. They had doubts but they were still open to receive the Truth. In other words, their doubts did not hinder their faith.

In C. S. Lewis’ book, the Last Battle, there is a scene describing a group of dwarfs sitting in a circle. They were oblivious to what was going around them. They believed that they were safe in a dark and empty shed. In reality, they were out in the open and the Sun was shining brightly. However, they only saw darkness. Everyone tried to convince them that it was Light to no avail. The dwarfs refused to believe anything but their version of reality. For them, there was only darkness and despair. Aslan, the Christ figure, prepared a sumptuous meal for them. They said that it tasted bitter and the food looked nasty. They were so consumed by their doubts that nothing good could be true. Their world was in a permanent state of darkness. Even Aslan could do nothing for them. They had made their choice. There was no room for Light in their souls.

During Holy Week, Mary and I were walking home from where we usually meet the homeless youth. We have to walk pass a sketchy part of the city. This area in the past was known as “Mouth of Trash”. In the past, there were shootouts and other violent activities in this area. Things have gotten better since then. However, it is still considered a dangerous area. We walk past it every day and we are a familiar face to that area. However, this time there was a blackout and it was about 8 o’clock in the evening. The whole area was pitch black. Only a handful of businesses had generators. The most of the apartment buildings were old and none of them were equipped with one. The streets had tons of people sitting around waiting for the power to come back. There were areas which were completely dark and abandoned. The blackout made them look more ominous than usual. These were the areas where the drug addicts usually hide to use their toxic substances. Needless to say, all the elements to make this place more dangerous than usual were present. Moreover, to make matters, there was no police around. We were abandoned to the elements. We walked about thirty minutes through this area in complete darkness. Strangely, we were not afraid. The most amazing thing was nothing happened. No one got robbed in an area usually known for thefts. There was no looting. No cars were stolen. Nothing happened. The blackout lasted for 24 hours, yes, we have an incompetent electrical service in the biggest city in Latin America. The media hardly reported on the incident except for a few measly lines about the blackout because there was nothing to say. People did not murder nor rob their neighbors. The most dangerous area of the city survived the blackout without any major crimes. There was not enough information to feed those who were consumed by darkness to affirm their constant state of doubt. We got home that night safely like every other night. We were surrounded by darkness but it did not prevail.

Sometimes people tell us how things are falling apart in the world. I admit that I do this also. When we are gather together with my friends, I tell them that things are getting from bad to worse. I stand by this statement. Every year the homeless situation here gets worse. We are seeing families living in the streets with their children. The local government is doing nothing to alleviate the plight of the homeless. Instead they force them to keep moving from location to location without providing any concrete solution. They made laws forbidding restaurants from giving leftovers to the homeless. Things are not getting better. However, it does not mean Light is not present. It does not mean God has abandoned us. Sometimes I doubt if God is really doing something. I bring my doubts to the streets and see Jesus always present showing me His wounds. Every time we bring our doubts to Him, He renews our faith in such a way that we have the courage to join Thomas and say, “My Lord and My God!” with renewed conviction. My doubts have strengthened my faith. I believe they will strengthen yours, too. As long as we are open to the Truth, despite our doubts, then these same doubts can be a blessing to our faith.

And this is the judgement, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God. John 3:19-21

This week, Light was shed to reveal something disturbing.

We got reacquainted with some of the homeless youth whom we haven’t seen for some time. Most of them are older now, maybe in their late teens or early twenties. They were very affectionate and hugged us. Some of them we have known for years. We have colored, played games, and talked with them since they were little children. We have many wonderful memories of them. We know that all of them had great potential to be good and loving people. Unfortunately, they were gathered to together to rob innocent people in the subway station. We have been doing this long enough to see the signs. We knew what was going to happen and our hearts were deeply saddened. These young people prefer to remain in the darkness. They are not, by nature, bad. They just like the darkness. They want to remain in it. They are so consumed by what they want that they are indifferent to the woes of their victims. There is a name for the root of these evil deeds. It was given in the past but has fallen into disuse in recent times. Not because it has lost its relevance. Most probably we prefer to hide it in the dark. The name of this evil was known as acedia. Sometimes it is referred to as spiritual or mental sloth or, in more concrete terms, a sense of apathy or indifference towards the suffering of others.

Over the years, we have had the misfortune of witnessing countless robberies. It is part and parcel of this ministry. The toughest thing is that usually the perpetrator is not unknown to us. On more than one occasion, we had to console the victims and weep within our souls for the sins of our own children. It is heart-breaking to see how they can commit such horrendous things without care and concern for the feelings of the victims. Unfortunately, this is how the world functions. We have seen thousands of people walk by homeless children and young teens, even families sleeping in the streets everyday without any care or compassion towards them. They treat them as invisible at best or as pests at worst. Everyone is too busy with their own lives that in order to survive and strive in this world we need to perfect this wickedness of acedia. We have even developed technologies to aid us with this. I can give more examples of this sin but I don’t want to dwell in darkness. There are more interesting things to focus on.

The Light shines brightly and darkness is powerless to resist it.

There are a group of homeless youth who have decided not to allow this evil to dwell in their hearts. These are the ones who have opened themselves to us. Recently, we had a talk with them about this matter. They shared with us that when they were younger, they used to steal just like the others. They said that it was almost impossible not to be involved because of the peer pressure. Rone shared that one day he robbed a drunk man in the streets. He wasn’t a drunk but someone who had too much to drink during an office outing. He was completely out of it and had an Ipad on him. Rone saw the opportunity and stole it without any resistance from his victim. However, before he could walk away, something touched his heart. He returned and gave the item back to the victim. I asked him what was the reaction of the victim. He told me that the guy was so out of it that he did not know anything had happened. Nevertheless, this was the last time he stole. Now, he survives by recycling and doing odd jobs. He even refuses to beg for his food because sometimes begging dehumanizes people who give. This is, perhaps, a topic for another reflection. Incidentally, this same young man introduced us to a new experience last week. He got some money together and asked our help to get a certain document. We agreed to do it for him. He wanted to meet for lunch before we do the documents. However, only on the condition that we allow him to pay for our lunch. We insisted that each person should pay for their own meal. He insisted that either we allow him to pay or he won’t go with us. We went to a cheap restaurant which was actually quite good. He had planned this for a while. He went around looking for a restaurant within his price range which would be appropriate for us. There are quite a number of scary restaurants here. We sat in the restaurant for more than two hours. No one realized that there was a world of homelessness which separated us. We shared a meal together as brothers and sister.

Rone and the others have similar stories why they stopped stealing and hurting others. They stay together and spend time with us during the day. In fact, we have increased our time in the streets which is a good thing. Bruno shared something interesting with us. He talked about his friendship with a woman who recently passed away. She was a bank officer. This woman used to give him money regularly but she spent time with him for hours sometimes. He said that he liked her honesty. She did not censor her words with him. Sometimes she confronted his lifestyle. Bruno uses drugs very often. Despite all this, she still helped him with money and food. Bruno said that he missed her friendship. She did not pretend that he was someone else rather than who he is. It comforted him. In a subtle way, Bruno is saying that he wants us to be honest with him always. We have been honest with him and also with the rest of the youth who are with us. They are drawn to honesty but only when it is seasoned with Love. The Light can be a terrible place if there is no unconditional Love and healing. These young people who decided not to steal are not saints by any means. They are drawn to the Light because they are touched by Love. They have responded to Love and it gave them the courage to leave behind their state of apathy and indifference towards the Light.

Those who walk in the Light are not perfect. In fact, walking in the Light highlights our imperfection. Rone and Bruno are very aware of their imperfections. To the contrary, the ones who robbed think that they are basically good people. This is generally the attitude of those who live in the world of indifference and apathy. They are often times lost in the darkness of self-righteousness. The Light gives the courage to see ourselves as who we are. This courage gives the strength to shed the sin of acedia within us; the indifference towards the suffering of others. In the darkness, there are countless excuses to justify our apathy but in the Light, Love reveals a better way to live our lives. It is not a perfect one. However, there is a simple promise for those who respond the calling of Love to walk in the Light.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John1:7

Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’ Mark 8:31-33

Peter was right! Jesus was saying something completely absurd. Of course, we are reading this story from a different perspective. We have the aid of our doutrines and dogmas to help us interpret the words of Jesus. We have some guidelines to help us reason the absurd death of our Lord. Peter was not so privileged. He was part of a community which had prepared itself for the coming of the Messiah for centuries. They had glorious expectations. When Peter confessed that Jesus was the Christ, he believed that all the injustice and oppression would vanish in the world. Peace was going to reign forever. You know, like in the carols we sang not too long ago.

Jesus predicted the opposite. He spoke about being subjected to rejection, torture, death and dismay. These are not the words of hope. Peter could not believe that the Son of Man was going to submit to these things. He was supposed to overcome them. He felt that it was his duty to set things right and orientate Jesus on what was expected of the Christ. Inadvertently, he ended up being the devil in the process. This is a tough lesson for us all if we understand its implications. There is a tendency in us to restrict how God should act in our midst, especially if it goes against what we believe to be a sound and logical way for Him to do so. Maybe we can use the Bible, our doctrinal convictions, and cultural mindset to justify our actions. We are in the season of Lent. Therefore, it is also good to remind ourselves that all the people who pleaded for the death of our Lord believed in their hearts that they were doing something good according to their system of logic.

Hannah Arendt, a German Jewish philosopher, attended the trials of Nuremberg, expecting to see monsters being judged for their heinous crimes against humanity. Instead, she saw ordinary men and women, in many ways just like her, who committed despicable acts. Most of them were convinced that their actions were necessary and right. It is a disturbing idea but one which reminds us that we are without exception descendants of Fallen Humanity. We are tainted with sin. Our reasoning and outlook are infected with sin. We might have doctrines and ideas which appear to be lofty and divine but they are still tainted with imperfection. Sin is a word which we do not often use. Perhaps part of the reason is because it has been spoken about in a mistaken manner. In our reality, everyday we walk past street preachers who take pleasure in preaching a limited view of sin. They speak about it without addressing its true nature. Sin, for them, is limited to certain actions. This is not the Christian concept but closer to the Pharisaical idea of sin and purity. Sin is not specific actions. These are mere symptoms. If we just treat the symptoms and neglect to address the major issue, then we are no better off than before. Maybe we are worse off as Jesus explained in the parable,

‘When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting-place, but not finding any, it says, “I will return to my house from which I came.” When it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first.’ Luke 11:24-26

It is good to remind ourselves that in the gospel episode with Peter, he had just confessed that Jesus is the Messiah. He was instrumental in articulating the true ministry of our Lord. Even then, he was not immune from being influenced by the devil whom Jesus also describes as a mindset based on human wisdom. In other words, we need to be transformed in our thinking.

Thankfully, our Lord gives us a hopeful answer to help us out of this way of being. He tells us that we need to take up our Cross. In Jesus’ time, this meant a certain death. It does not sound hopeful for obvious reasons. Most of the time, people just skim through these verses and think they are specifically for those who have a vocation to be martyrs. In most cases, many hope that it won’t come to this for their personal situation. Perhaps there was a time when these verses were taken literally. For most of reading these verses here, this is not the case. However, it does not mean that they are not relevant to us in our present situation. We just have to go a little deeper and discover the absurd logic behind them. It is absurd because most of us want to live our lives furthest away from certain death. We do everything possible to avoid it. This is where the challenge lies. We need to let go of the illusion that we can have power and control over the world. A person who took up the Cross in Jesus’ time knew that everything has come to an end and there was no chance of changing it. We can submit to the fact that we have no control over how things unfold in this world and no control on how things unfold in our personal lives. Many refuse to admit this. In today’s conversations, people like to show how they built themselves up from nothing. The reality is that this is the reasoning of the fallen humanity. We started this season of Lent with these words,

“Remember that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.”

Everything which comes in between these two periods of our life, we have to consider carefully. Jesus tells us to pick up our Cross so that we will not waste our time dwelling on foolish and irrelevant things which our human wisdom claims to be important.

Recently, I have been reading a book reflecting on the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. The story is about a mortal who thought he could fool the gods and ended being punished for eternity by pushing a rock up the hill only for it to roll back down to where he began. His punishment was to engage in this meaningless task for eternity. It reminded me of the story of the Fall. It reminded me of our ministry in the streets. We have done this ministry on and off since the mid 1990s. The situation has yet to change. In all probability, it will never change. There will always be new homeless children. They will grow up and become adults living in the streets. Perhaps a few will find a better life but it may not be great and a vast majority will live and die homeless or very close to homelessness. If I was a logical person, I would say that Jesus should change this situation. He did say that anything we ask in His Name, He will do. We pray for permanent change. There was one. There was an increase in violence and hatred towards the homeless children and youth. It wasn’t quite what we expected and it went against what we believed was the reasonable way God should act. There was a choice for us. We could abandon everything or attempt to understand God’s logic in this situation. The latter requires that we allow the former to die. Only then we can discover the Hope present in this hopeless situation. Thankfully, we see the absurd wisdom of God in our circumstances and they are indeed full of hope.

Peter had to let his idea of the Messiah die. Jesus’ harsh words were justified because Peter would have easily fallen in with the crowd if he had held on to his idea of the Christ. He had to die to his own ideas in order to discover the Hope manifested on the Cross.

The call to take our Cross is not about embracing martyrdom. It is about dying to our own so-called logical wisdom and embracing the absurdness of the Kingdom of God.

As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. Mark 1:29-31

Sometimes it is the simple and short accounts in the gospels that are the hardest to interpret. Sometimes these stories are so familiar that we convince ourselves that we know everything there is to know about them. The fact that all first three gospels recount this episode tells us that something profound has occurred which has impacted the hearts and minds of the gospel writers.

As in most of the healing accounts in the gospels, we know very little about the person being healed. Nevertheless, we have details on how Jesus went about healing her. He treated her with great tenderness and affection. He took her by her hand and lifted her up. I will just focus on this for our reflection.

This is not the first time that the gospels described the tenderness of Jesus in the healing process. The same gospel relates another account immediately after this where Jesus touched a leper before healing him. It seems like a simple gesture and can be easily overlooked. Our minds tend to focus on the big things because we have been programmed to think that great things come in a grandiose manner. The Kingdom of God is different. It expresses itself in small and unassuming actions.

I just finished reading a memorial of a well-known Brazilian oncologist. He was one of the principal actors in helping Brazil deal with the Aids epidemic in the nineties. Besides this, he also dedicated almost forty years serving as a volunteer in the penitentiary system of São Paulo. It happened by chance. He was asked to give an educational talk on the HIV virus and how to prevent its dissemination. After the lecture, the warden asked him if he could examine some sick prisoners who had been waiting for medical attention for months. Very few doctors were willing to serve these prisoners. He examined his first patient. He placed his stethoscope on his chest and gently placed his hand on the prisoner’s shoulder. Then the prisoner turned around and told him, “You have conquered a hardened criminal with your gentle touch.” The doctor later discovered that all the doctors who had previously examined the prisoners refused to have any physical contact with the prisoners. This doctor commented that he did not understand how these doctors could examine someone without touching them. It is easy. They disliked the people they served. Soon this doctor conquered the hearts of the incarcerated. Someone we know told us that when she was imprisoned, all the prisoners wanted to be attended by this doctor. There was a four months wait and all of them thought it was worth it. He was a Light of healing in their dark world.

“Don’t touch! Is dirty!”

In almost every context, this would be considered a cruel and insulting phrase. However, it is one of the funniest things we heard in the streets. One of the older youth, who has a dry sense of humor, was secretly learning English phrases to impress us. Bruno always give us a hug whenever he sees us and at the opportune moment, Rone blurted out this phrase. The timing was perfect. Everyone laughed including Bruno after we explained its meaning. Both Bruno and Rone are opposites. Bruno is always dressed in soiled and tattered clothes. Anyone looking at him would say that he is the stereotypical homeless youth. Rone, on the other hand, is always well dressed. Very few people realize that he is actually homeless.

Bruno survives by begging but he never asks for money. Instead he wears old and torn clothes and sits quietly in the corner. People give him money all the the time and buy him food. In fact, the rest of the teens sometimes wait around for him to bring over donated food to them. We have tried giving Bruno clean clothes. Actually sometimes Rone finds nice clean clothes for him. He is good at scavenging through donations to find something good. Bruno takes these cleans clothes and rips them at certain spots. Then he does something to do them to make them look dirty. He is convinced that in order to get any attention from the general public, he has to play the part of a stereotypical homeless person.

Bruno is actually a very tactile person. He likes to hug and show affection. I think it is important for him to know that we will reciprocate, despite his appearance. There is something going on here. Perhaps it is sad resignation on his part that no matter what he does in life, people will always see him as a dirty homeless person.

Rone is very different. He refuses to have any physical contact. He has accepted the fact that he is an untouchable. Most of the time, he pretends that he does not want any contact with people. He greets everyone with a fist bump. He claims that it is his fear of Covid but in reality, it is a lie. He admitted this to us. His life is a tragic tale. Recently, he told us that he is going to commemorate 17 years of being homeless. His used his sense of humor again to deal with this dire situation. He told us that on several occasions he saw his relatives in the streets and ran away and hid from them. He did not want them to see him and refused to talk to them. He never told us why he was homeless. There is some trauma involved which connects him with the other children and teens even though he is much older than them. This is the link binding all our children and youth together.

Not too long ago, it was Rone’s birthday. We decided to buy a simple gift for him and a liter of Grape Fanta. This is his favorite soft drink but it is quite expensive here in Brazil; well, expensive for someone living in the streets. We arranged to meet somewhere else because our teens have a little bit of the jealous nature. They don’t tend to like it when someone else gets more attention than usual. It is quite natural, I suppose. We actually ended up spending the whole day with him. At the end of our time, he said goodbye and I held out my fist but he opened his arms and hugged us. I was a little taken aback. It was a simple gesture. Perhaps one which is often taken for granted but for Rone, it was something special. There was a barrier which was overcome. Nowadays, he walks with us whenever we head for home. He walks part of the way and told us that one day he wants to have tea in our home. He even gave us a beautiful tea pot for the occasion. He saw someone trying to get rid of it and he kept it for us. We invited him to our place months ago but he refused then because he wasn’t sure if he was truly welcomed. Now, he knows that he has a place in our home.

Healing comes in a simple gestures. Sometimes these simple acts speak volumes. We should not attempt to reduce healing to one or two actions. We should never glamorize healings as they do in some places. The foundation of an act of healing is not the physical contact but Love. When a simple gesture is performed on the basis of Love, its significance can be sensed in the soul of the person receiving it. It opens up hearts. It overcomes barriers and eradicates lies. Sometimes people feel like they are incapable of doing great and marvelous things for the Kingdom of God. They confuse God’s standards with those of the world. Jesus said the greatest in the Kingdom is the servant of all. A servant does simple things which no one wants to do. In the streets, we see people who spend great sums of money on the homeless. Sometimes we see people come in busloads and do all kinds of spectacular things for the poorest of the poor. All these are good but most of our children and youth hardly remember any of these folks after they are gone. Sometimes they introduce us to people who hardly have done anything spectacular or complex. Most of the time, they are people who just smile at them and spend a few minutes talking to them. Sometimes they are just people who shake their hands. Simple gestures but they are done with great love.

Going back to the oncologist, he wrote that in the prisons where he served, there is hardly anything in the clinic. Many times he would only have a white sterile desk and a completely impersonal room. Many times he has only a stethoscope to attend to the prisoners but he was amazed how much healing occurred in the room just by listening and talking to the patients. It is not the listening and talking which helps people but the Love which is the foundation of these actions.

The apostles saw great Love expressed in the simple gestures of our Lord Jesus.

They were astounded at his teaching, for Jesus taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, ‘What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.’ But Jesus rebuked him, saying, ‘Be silent, and come out of him!’ Mark 1:22-25

Jesus spoke with authority.

It is a little dangerous to leave this undefined. It can be different things to different people. An authoritative figure can mean someone who is knowledgable and reliable to guide us. At the same, it could mean someone who is a tyrant and demeaning. Once I read this very passage with a homeless youth and he was confused. He asked if Jesus was like the police. Unfortunately, in the streets, the police establish their authority through violence and intimidation. It is not just the police but society in general also does this. Well, it is the way of the world. Wars present and past are about establishing one’s authority over another one. Violence and authority are often indistinguishable.

Jesus acted with authority but it was unlike that of the scribes. These people are the ones who were supposed to define the proper and right behavior of the people according to God’s Law. In other words, they were the ethical teachers of that time. They knew their stuff but it lacked authority. Knowing something does not suffice.

Before proceeding, there is an important question to consider; what is the purpose of authority or rather, what role does it play in our lives? It seems like we, as humans, need someone to guide us. Even the most independent person has someone as their guide in life. We need someone to trust and guide us. Trust is voluntary. No one can force us to trust but we can be forced to obey. This is the problem. The scribes had authority. They demanded trust but, most likely, the people just obeyed them. It is probable that this was achieved through social pressure and manipulation, something which is still very present in contemporary religious practice, unfortunately. Jesus was different. There was no pressure nor social manipulation. The people heard him and trusted him with their lives. The scribes were trained in the scriptures but their words did not inspire Life in the people. The people heard Jesus say the same words but something stirred within their souls. These words brought forth healing and life in their souls and also exposed the agents of death in their midst.

In the gospels, these agents are sometimes identified as demons.

Most of us live in a world where demons do not play a crucial role in our daily life. Therefore, our minds might be tempted to ignore this gospel passage or not give it too much attention. However, demons do exist. Perhaps not in the caricatural manner in which they have been frequently presented. We need to interpret demons in a manner relevant to our daily spiritual life. The demonic manifestations recorded in the gospels today can be defined as mental illness in some cases and epileptic episodes in others. Back then, medical science was in its primitive state. It is understandable why anyone would define these symptoms as demonic attacks. We have seen many epileptic episodes in the streets. It did seem like the person’s body was taken over by something strange. However, medical knowledge has advanced since then and it has given us different names and medications to address these conditions. Perhaps, indirectly it has helped us to discern true demonic presence in our midst.

What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. Matthew 15:18-19

Demonic manifestations come from within us. They are words and thoughts which not only inspire but result in death producing actions. They also seek to contaminate the people around to adopt these destructive attitudes. Even in the passage in the gospel reading, the demons, despite confessing the Lordship of Jesus, tried to entice him to destroy them just like they destroyed everything in their path. They wanted to reduce Jesus to be just like them. Our Lord refused to succumb to their temptation. Instead He demanded their silence and ordered them to abandon their death inducing activities. If He was of this world, He would destroyed them because this world only knows one form of authority. Jesus is the Savior, in other words, He is a Healing presence and refuses to destroy even those who are perceived as deserving of destruction such as the demons.

The scribes were just like the rest of the world. All their knowledge and spiritual wisdom did not inform them how to act differently in society. They had authority in their community but it wasn’t a life giving one. Jesus was different and He is the One whom we need to follow. After all, if we say that we worship Him, then the highest form of worship is imitation. This then beckons the question on how can we live out the kind of authority Jesus manifested. It is not something we can learn from a book. It is not something we can gain through our actions. We can only receive this through His grace. The only thing we can do is to be open and available to the Holy Spirit to bestow this authority in our lives.

I always wanted to share this story about one of the most unlikeable boys in the streets. I don’t want to create any expectation that he eventually became our favorite boy. This never happened so there is no traditional happy ending here. I will say that he became slightly less unlikeable. However, through him we learned an important lesson.

His name is Davi just like the Psalmist King in the Old Testament but without the charm and poetry. He always was an antagonistic boy and never really respected us. We never had any falling out with him. He was just an aggressive and difficult boy. One day we were coloring with the other teens and he asked if he could join us. Naturally, we welcomed his participation. He took a page from our book and ripped it off. Then he proceeded to do the same with other books. I stopped him and asked him what he was doing. He did not respond and continued destroying our books. Of course, we stopped him by taking away the book. My mind ran through a series of actions which would teach this young boy a lesson or two on who is in-charge. The only reason I did not act on them is because I am an older person and should act according to my age. The thing which made me really angry is that we were having a rarer peaceful moment with the teens before he joined us.

All the other teens were a little shocked by his utter disrespect and they left without creating a scene. The whole incident disturbed us and increased our dislike for this boy more. Thankfully the following day he was gone and we did not see him for weeks. However, he left a bad taste in my mouth. I sensed bitterness building up in my heart towards him whenever I thought about him. A few weeks later, he returned. We were doing the same activity and he wanted to join us. We were quite weary but decided to give him a chance. This time, he sat down and said that he had acted very disrespectfully towards us and he didn’t know why. He asked for our forgiveness. We did not expect this from him. In a way, it melted our hearts and took away all ill feelings towards him. I told him that we forgave him and thanked him for having the courage to ask for forgiveness. He shook our hands and said that he wasn’t in the mood to color but he really just wanted our forgiveness. We did not see him after that time. However, after some time, I got a friend request from him on Facebook. I did think twice before accepting it.

Demons slipped into Davi’s life since he was young. He has always lived according to their bidding. However, something happened that day, not just in his life but in all of us including the teens who were with us. We saw how God can move and bring Life into the most hardened hearts. At first, Davi rejected Life and then he decided to open his heart to it. He is far from being a saint but he has shown us that he is not beyond the grasp of Divine Love. We were invited by the Holy Spirit to participate in this process through the simple act of forgiveness which is the most precious fruit of Love. It is the principal way we can open and avail ourselves to do what God is doing in this world. It is the way we can recognize His authority in this world. This age seeks to repay an eye for eye. Our Lord seeks to heal and restore and the very first step is forgiveness. If we cannot forgive, then we will never understand the authority which Jesus has in this world. Then we can never be open and available in this world to reveal the true nature of Jesus’ authority. It is not easy but nothing good is.

Nathanael replied, ‘Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!’ Jesus answered, ‘Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.’ And he said to him, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.’ John 1:49-51

Every day for past few months, we walk past a homeless adult living in a little makeshift tent-like structure made out of plywood scraps. Ironically, it sits opposite the entrance of an expensive hotel for business executives. We never actually saw the homeless person initially, only his two intimidating looking dogs with a lot of Rottweiler in them. One day we happened to walk by when he was out and about. As we passed him, he remarked that he couldn’t believe that we are still around after all these years. At first, we were little puzzled. Then almost Immediately a name popped into my mind and I hollered out, “Clayton!” I was a little embarrassed for my overtly enthusiastic outburst. I was actually more impressed with myself that I still remembered his name after 27 years. His face bears the harshness of time. However, his smile recalls the young boy we first met when we ourselves were much younger.

My memories of him are a little vague. I remember that he was part of a group of boys who lived in a manhole. Back then, the homeless children and youth lived lived in whatever hole or tiny abandoned space they could find in the streets. Unfortunately, not much has changed since then. On several occasions he invited me to visit his underground home. I remembered contemplating doing it. I must have been much more adventurous or maybe extremely curious back then. However, when I saw the dark tunnel without any ventilation, visions of unknown critters and strange smells made me change my mind. Besides his strange abode, I don’t have vivid memories of him. Nevertheless, I remembered him being always happy to see us for no apparent reason.

He is 40 now. The first thing he wanted us to know is that he will never forget our love and affection. The truth of the matter is that we represent something symbolic for him. I am not underplaying our role here. There were streams of people over the years who showered love and concern for the homeless children even though a major part of society ignores them. It is not humility but a fact. Furthermore, it is important for us, as followers of Christ, to know that God is always actively involved in the lives of these little ones. Moreover, it is essential to recognize that the Holy Spirit is not restricted to those who profess the faith. He uses anyone who is available. Many times His instruments of Love do not realize that they are His instruments. Many of these people are not around anymore. It is apparent that Clayton needed someone concrete to show his gratitude. We just happened to be the privileged ones and he made our day.

On another occasion, some acquaintances, who gave us a ride home in their car, drove by Clayton’s tent. I took the opportunity to share about our chance reconnection. For us, it was a happy encounter. However, it was obvious that our acquaintances had a hard time appreciating our joy. It was not a success story. Clayton is still homeless and has never found a way out of it. It was difficult for them to look beyond the overwhelmingly sad and tragic situation to partake in our joy. I understand their sentiments. There is nothing positive nor romantic about homelessness. It is indeed a tragedy and sign of utter failure and hopelessness. Perhaps this is why many avoid the homeless. They reveal an uncomfortable truth. We live in a fragmented world. Some may create an illusionary existence to help them ignore this fact. Our homeless children and youths were never given the luxury to participate in this illusion. Therefore, they have become outsiders who remind the world of this uncomfortable truth. We used to think that our primary task or ministry was to help these young people become insiders. We were part of society. We participate in its illusions, too. Naturally, we thought that everyone needs to be part of it to enjoy the gospel to the fullest. However, we forget John the Baptist was an outsider. Our Lord made special efforts to be an outsider. He refused many times to be a prominent insider because abundant life is not dependent on making this fragmented world better.

The very first lesson our children learned from this world is that it did not want them. They were not given any part in society. Their families had such heavy burdens to carry that they could not afford to prove them otherwise. They had no sense of personhood.
Their journey to the streets was their final attempt to discover their identity and individuality. Their relationships and experiences in the streets helped them develop who they are as individuals. In other words, homelessness is an integral part of their personhood. They don’t know how to be somebody outside this environment. It is quite tragic but it is reality. However, it is not a problem peculiar to our homeless youth. Most of us perambulate up and down in our social circles in search of our identity too. We develop our identity within our limited social circles. At the same time, we are also constantly aware how fragile these circles are and how easy it is for us to lose our space in them. Some times we shudder to think what would become of us if we were lose everything which guarantees our identity. In the same way, our children are afraid that they might lose something integral to their identity if they leave the streets.

We don’t remember much about Clayton because we were trying to solve his problems instead of recognizing that he is an individual with thoughts, faith and even a personal philosophy of life. In other words, in our attempts to help him, he became a mere object of our project. Consequently, we became part of the problem. The whole reason he took refuge in homelessness was to discover his personhood. We failed to comprehend this because we associate homelessness with utter anonymity. However, the truth is that they were already anonymous before they became homeless. In this way, children and those who spent their infancy in the streets are different from homeless adults. These resign to a state of anonymity where as our children escape to the streets in search for their identity. Not all homeless are the same.

In the past, we were physically present in the streets but our minds was elsewhere. We were busy trying to solve problems beyond our capacity. Besides, Clayton did not ask us to resolve anything. He just wanted someone to recognize that he is a person. It is not merely knowing his name. He wants to be someone whom others enjoy being around. This is really what all of us desire. We want our presence in this world to be appreciated by someone. We want people to know that we have something significant to say about the important things in life. Perhaps society might not think that the homeless have anything relevant to say. In a way, this might be true. The way society defines success, it excludes the homeless from the conversation. However, as followers of Christ, we have different topics of conversation. Clayton, like most of our children and youth, has a strong faith. It may not be a perfect one but none of us have this. Despite all the hardship and miseries they have suffered in life, they are convinced that God has never abandoned them. They have something to share with us which will enrich our spirituality.

Even though, we were busy focusing on the problem, something in our souls made us obey the nudging of the Holy Spirit. Clayton knew that we liked him as a person. He remembered us as such. Now, we have the opportunity to know him more profoundly. Every day we pass by to see if he is there. During the day, he goes around looking for recyclable products and sells them at a junk yard. He survives by doing this. Whenever we walk by, he always smiles and waves at us. The gracious Spirit has given us another opportunity to see Clayton as a person; someone whose faith has helped him make sense of the world in which he lives. He has an understanding of the love and providence of God that perhaps we would not comprehend. He has something precious to share with us just as much as we have something to share with him. It is not about solving problems but recognizing that we have something wonderful and special to give to each other because our God is gracious and powerful to do miracles in all circumstances and situations.

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah,[a] the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’ – Luke 2:8-12

Only God knows how many times Gabriel has tried to get a job. Unfortunately, it never sticks. His most recent endeavor was in a restaurant lasting for just a week. Nevertheless, it is his dream to find a regular job and be just a regular person. For him, this simply means not being homeless. It is a simple ambition. Before this restaurant job, he tried working as trash pickup person. He lasted for a week or two in that job. Then he ventured out to do some odd jobs which did not quite work out either.

Gabriel has been sleeping in the streets since he was 10 and he turns 23 this year. Everything he knows about life is based on his experience being homeless. No one taught him the lessons we learned through the implicit example of our parents or other adults in our lives; things such as working a regular job or how to behave socially in a work environment. A steady adult presence is missing in their lives. Despite these challenges, Gabriel keeps trying and maybe one day he will make it. Unfortunately, everything points to the fact that he might never make it.

Sadly, there are many like Gabriel and these are the ones we minister to on a regular basis. We have done things with them which are usually reserved for family members; we help them get their documents and register for military service. Brazil has conscripted military service. However, our teens are never enlisted. We even help them get their documents for employment. Deep down inside, we hope that one day they have gainful employment. However, we are beginning to see how rare this is. It seems like their condition of homelessness may become a permanent state.

I should be sharing a message of hope and joy instead of painting this dreary scenario. In reality, our ministry has helped us to have a profound understanding of the meaning of joy and peace promised in the Christmas message. There was a time I found it strange singing the cheerful Christmas carols when everything around us seemed to be bleak. For the past ten years, we have interacted with children and youth who have had everything precious they know stripped from them at a young age. There is not much of a future for any of them. Yet, every time we are with them, there is strong sense of hope and joy and this sense does not depend on the circumstances or situation in which we find ourselves. It comes from something deeper that words cannot express and gives us the assurance that the Divine Child is in our midst.

Unto us a Child is born. …and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

The first ones to hear the news of the birth of this child were the shepherds. They were just people who stayed and slept in the fields with their sheep. They did not hold a prestigious place in society but they were the first to know about the greatest news for all humanity. Suddenly these nobodies became somebodies due to the message of faith they received. Nevertheless, their status in the world did not change. They remained nobodies. In spite of this, they participated in the very first Christmas and saw the hope of humanity in the form of a vulnerable child. Their simple faith opened their eyes and ears to see things which many were unable to understand. The religious leaders and the royal court did not appreciate the presence of the little child. They were satisfied with their place in this world and chose not to listen to their faith for the fear of losing what they had. The shepherds had nothing of value to cling onto. Perhaps this helped them to be more sensitive to the voice of faith. They were open to discover new things because the old did not have a place for them.

Our children and youth in the streets have this faith too, albeit not all of them. Those who do have something concrete to say about the hope which they sense in the person of Jesus. They have a deep sense of hope and joy even though they know they may always be homeless. Many imagine being homeless as the worst possible thing in life and rightly so. I am one of them. Therefore, I found it hard to believe that these homeless youth could have peace and joy. Initially, I thought that they were eluding reality. Then I realized that they are more in touch with reality than I am. They may not be able to express it in a sophisticated way, but they are engaged with it. They may not understand all the social issues involved. However, they have simple faith. I cannot deny that there is genuine joy and hope present whenever we are together with them. We can see that their faith is real. The way they express it is different from us. It is easy for me to sing of joy and peace when I have a comfortable place to lay my head. I live my faith from a comfortable place. There is nothing wrong with this but it is important to know that the gospel is the gospel even in the worst possible situation. Our youth discovered their faith in the Divine Child when feeling abandoned and alone in this world. They know something about the Baby Jesus that we will never know.

Their social condition makes them hesitate or even be embarrassed to talk about their faith. However, it is the foundation giving them courage to face all the obstacles life has thrown at them. In the eyes of the world, they will remain irrelevant people who crowd the streets with their presence. For us, they remind us that this Infant Saviour has the power to bring hope and joy in ways which we can never imagine.The problem is that they have been so downtrodden that they think what they have received through their faith might be irrelevant for the rest of the world. A major part of our ministry is helping some children and youth share their faith encounters with the Divine Child with us. They have stories, powerful stories of faith. Whenever a person shares a story, they have a place in the heart and soul of those who listen to them.

Hopefully, this Christmas, our hearts and minds will be attentive to listen to the “shepherds” in our own community or families and allow their stories to reveal something beautiful and significant about this precious Child who has transformed our lives forever.

Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake. Mark 13:35-37

It is hard to believe that we are in the season of Advent once again. It is the beginning of the Liturgical year. The homeless youth are completely ignorant of this season. I doubt that they even know of its existence. In reality, not many evangelical Christians here, excluding the practicing Roman Catholics, know anything about this liturgical season. This is due to an uninteresting rivalry between the two traditions here. However, in general, most people seem to be fascinated with end times and the season of Advent is traditionally a time when we reflect about the Last Things.

In the streets, we have more than our share of doom and gloom preachers. I have mentioned them many times in my reflections. They are always around us and hard to ignore. To our horror, people do stop and listen to these dreadful messages. Our children, unfortunately, get most of their religious information from these preachers. They spent a lot of time and energy drawing attention to all the evil prevalent in society and how the world is falling apart. There is no Light in their message. There is no gospel in their world view. It is a perspective negating the active presence of God in this world.

We are a people awaiting for the King to return and establish His Kingdom in its plenitude. At the same time, this is a curious thing because we believe that He is still present in our midst in a real manner. Our Anglican tradition affirms this every Sunday. In our liturgy, we have a high view of the sacrament of the Holy Communion. In the liturgical organization of our church, the altar takes the center stage. As long as I can remember, we have had the practice of having weekly communion even though this was not always the case. Now it is an essential part of our worship. Most churches define how the presence of Christ Jesus is manifested during Communion. We believe that Christ is present in a real and concrete manner without defining how or where He manifests Himself. In this way, we safeguard ourselves from slipping into idolatry and superstition, as well as keeping ourselves faithful to the words of Jesus,

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20

The point here is not make an apology for Anglicanism. It is just to state that every Sunday we remind ourselves that if Jesus can be present in the sharing of the bread and wine, then He can very well be present anywhere He pleases in this world. Therefore, it is essential we keep this in mind when we interpret the words of Jesus when He tells us to keep awake.

The world has been going downhill since the day our Lord ascended. This is not a modern phenomenon. Perhaps, we have the technology now to make things move along faster. Nevertheless, there have always been wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters. The threat to our very existence has always been there. We cannot deny this. However, despite its ominous presence, there is an eternal Light present and darkness cannot resist it. Jesus tells us to keep awake because it is easy to fall into slumber of inertia. If we allow the darkness to overwhelm us, we might be tempted to recoil and wait for Jesus to resolve all our problems. This is not what Jesus is saying.

Our children and youth in the streets are isolated from the world. I mean they are not upset by the latest news of wars. If there is a natural disaster somewhere in the world, they are oblivious to it. It is not that they are apathetic. Their worlds have fallen apart long time ago. They have always lived in a broken world and feel it deeply. They don’t need the news to remind them of it. They see violence and injustice on daily basis. They don’t need any reminders. As for death, it lives very close to them. Yet, they still have hope. It is not blind hope as some might assume. It is hope that is more grounded in reality than any of us could imagine. This week, we had a special encounter with Wallace. He had his usual cheerful demeanor, however, just before we met him, he had a negative experience with an elderly man. The man had walked past him and then turned around and started hurling insults and demeaning comments at Wallace. It was completely gratuitous. The intention was to make Wallace feel small and insignificant. Thankfully, he decided not to react and just move away to another location. Obviously the whole incident upset him. It upset us just listening to it. He just needed to share it with someone.

This is the problem of the darkness in this world. It is not satisfied with wielding its power and showing off its feats. It wants to dominate our thoughts and minds. The homeless youth like Wallace want to avoid it but they can’t. It haunts them just like it haunts most of us who want to be good and do what is right. We are tormented by news of cruelty and evil in this world. Sometimes the very people we call family can become agents of darkness. However, despite all these attacks, homeless youth like Wallace, and there are a few like him, have kept themselves away from the claws of darkness. He himself told us that there are many people whom he meets on a daily basis that affirm the fact that God is alive and taking care of him. In a simple manner, Wallace has articulated what it means to keep awake in this world.

There are many homeless youth, ranging from children to young adults. They have all been homeless since they were very young. Tragically, only a handful of them are able to keep themselves from bad influences. They share a similar characteristic. They are open and available to people even after countless of negative experiences. If one were ask why they maintain this attitude, they will say that there are always people who show them love and kindness. It seems like something so simple. It is the simple things in life that are the hardest. Jesus tells us to keep awake. We can interpret this as being open to see what God is doing in this world. He is not acting on the grand stages of world politics, neither is He doing anything in which the media might be interested. In the temptation of Jesus, He clearly rejected this option when the devil suggested it. However, He is actively present in this world. I am not going to say how and where because I am an Anglican. We recognize that God is free to act where and how He chooses. We just have to be open for it to happen. It can be anywhere, and anytime, among anyone, but we need to be open; our eyes and our ears need to be sensitive to discern His presence. It could be right before your very eyes. Maybe even in your home. Being open is just part of it. We need to be available because keeping awake is not a spectator sport. It is an invitation to participate. We avail ourselves to be God’s instrument of blessing and we also avail ourselves to receive from God. The opportunity comes to those who are watching attentively what our Lord is doing. This is our vocation. We are to watch attentively all the great and marvelous things God is doing. Many times they seem small and perhaps are brushed off as insignificant by many. However, those who keep awake know that these are signs that the Kingdom of God is among us. When we are faithful in the little, then we will be ready for the great things.

For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 25:29-30

“I don’t have many talents!” I have heard this said many times whenever we read this parable in a bible study. On this occasion it was a young teenager who said it. Ironically, later on life, she proved to be quite a talented person. When I was younger and a little bit more ambitious, I wanted to know what I needed to do to get more talents. I thought more was better. Nevertheless, this parable is not about how many talents we possess. The one with many talents is not considered more important than the one with less. We have a tendency to interpret this text according to the values of this world. In most modern societies, more is considered better except for debts and taxes. You know what I mean. We live in this world. We understand its language and we speak it. Therefore, there is a danger here. We might think of this parable in the terms of this world. However, it is about the Kingdom of God. There is also a disturbing element to it. The verses speak to taking away from those who have nothing and giving to those who have much. It sounds like Kingdom of God is like an inverted Robin Hood, a nightmarish idea for those who desire a more just society.

The gospel of Jesus is deeply grounded in reality. It doesn’t paint a rosy picture of life, neither does it promote a gloom and doom perspective. The parable is merely stating the natural consequences of life. When I was younger, I lived in Indonesia for a brief period. I spoke the local language quite fluently but not perfectly. However, it has been more than thirty years since I have used the language. Recently, in a store in São Paulo, I heard an Indonesian couple speaking to each other, the words were familiar but the language is almost gone in me. It is still there dormant. I need to use it in order to get it back. However, in the way I live my life now, it is most probable that one day it will be completely gone.

When we don’t use or value the things we have, one day we will eventually lose them. It is not because we don’t like them nor fail to see their importance. It is because we have other priorities which we believe deserve our time and energy. The servant with the one talent wasn’t a lazy servant. He just had other priorities. Jesus did not teach all these things in isolation. They are connected with the previous lessons like the parable of the wedding banquet where the guests had different priorities and refused to attend. They eventually lost what belonged to them and it was given to someone else. In that parable, it was those who apparently have nothing in the world who benefitted. It gives our children and teens a lot of hope. Nevertheless, according to the standard of this world, they have nothing. Unfortunately, they are not immune from this reality. Many times, the little that they have is taken away from them.

Most of our homeless youth possess backpacks. Usually they find one in the trash or one is given to them by a passerby. We have given them several backpacks, too. These backpacks contain all their worldly possessions which are not much; some clothes, toothpaste and little things that are precious to them like photographs or gifts they had received. The way they pack their things reveals a part of their personality. Wallace has all his clothes neatly folded and he keeps his toothbrush and all his toiletries separate. He even kept a t-shirt we gifted to him years ago on his birthday. Every inch of his backpack is used and everything is neat and tidy. It is amazing to see how this young man who has slept in the streets since he was eight organizes everything systematically. Bruno, on the other hand, is total chaos. Anything new he puts in his backpack will look like something from the ruins of ancient civilization after two days. However, there is one thing he values highly. It is his notebook and red and blue pens. He writes in his notebook every night. He goes through a new notebook within a few weeks. He writes things he remembers from when he was a child in the orphanage especially things he learned in school. This was the best time in his life. He loved school. Often he talks about it. Obviously, it is either fantasy or reality mixed together or he attended the most advanced public school in the world. Recently, Bruno put his backpack down to talk to someone and within seconds, it was gone. The trash pickup people removed it. All his clothes and belongings were gone. He had so little and yet, it was taken away from him. However, Bruno wasn’t upset. He had his most precious treasure with him. His notebook was with him. In fact, he was writing down someone’s number in it when the trash truck came by. He was happy that he did not lose his book.

The book contains a list of movies and they are listed according the year of their release and nomination for the oscars. He has them all memorized. He also writes little phrases in English and tries them out with us. He gets them all wrong but he doesn’t care. Everything he writes is used as a point of communication with people. He can tell you about names of directors and actors from the late fifties which never fails to impress. Sometimes he gets the plots mixed up and usually no one notices because most people are ignorant of movies from that era. Only reason I notice is because I have heard him talk about these things for almost ten years. Bruno’s book is his bridge connecting him to people outside his circle. He chose movies because whenever someone engages in conversation about them, they tend to forget that he is a homeless young man. The subject helps him to talk to them as equals. On the outside, he looks like the stereotypical homeless person. His clothes are a mess and always stained. Sometimes they have holes in them. He walks around barefooted. Somehow this appearance has worked for him. No matter how you look at him, no one in their right mind would say that Bruno is a successful person. He has his issues but it doesn’t mean he is not successful. He doesn’t have wealth and in the eyes of many, not much of a future. However, none of us can be certain of our future. As for wealth, this parable is not talking about wealth in the worldly sense.

There is an elderly woman. I think she is a Chinese immigrant. It is obvious that she lives alone. Every day she passes by Bruno and talks with him for a long time; not about movies but just general stuff. Then she goes home and prepares her lunch and brings down a plate for him. Bruno knows that she has no relatives nor friends. I have seen the food she prepares for him and it looks really good. He always begs outside a bank. One of the bank managers comes out to smoke where he sits. They have struck up a friendship. Eventually all the bank managers became his friends. They pitched in and bought a book on all the movies nominated for the Oscars. Every time one of them goes on holiday, they buy something for him. Bruno is one of the few homeless youth who has eaten authentic Oreo cookies from the States. There is also a young man who loves to sit next to Bruno and chat with him for hours. He is the son of one of the biggest businesses in the area. They have a strong friendship. The list goes on and on.

Bruno is not a saint and doesn’t claim to be one. A long time ago, we had a conversation about giving. I told him that even though he begs to survive, it doesn’t mean that he cannot give. I told him that there are many lonely people that don’t see or talk to anyone except when they talk to him in the streets. It was a simple conversation and I did not expect anything from it. However, Bruno listened. He has taken the little he had and produced much with it. He has blessed many people who otherwise will be lonely and without any friends. In doing so, he has regained much of his humanity and dignity even though his situation is not ideal.

Bruno has other priorities too, just like any one of us. They used to dominate his life when we first met him. He was one of the youth who was always high whenever we saw him. There was a time when he was never sober. Today he is different, not necessarily without any issues. However, love seems to slowly help him balance out his life. There is still a long way to go and this is true for all of us. At least for now, he is using his talent to produce good and precious fruits. There is a lot we can learn from this young man. It is not about how much we have; the little we do possess can produce a lot.

Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. For when the foolish took their lamps, they did not take extra oil with them; but the prudent ones took oil in flasks with their lamps. Now while the groom was delaying, they all became drowsy and began to sleep. Matthew 25:1-5

I had a lot of time to think about this parable this week. I spent hours waiting for something. It seemed like an endless two hours. I could think of thousands of things I would rather to be doing. Anything was better than sitting on an uncomfortable bench squeezed together in a closed environment with crying babies and several people coughing and sneezing away. Almost everyone was glued to their phones. The woman sitting next to me was watching a recipe tutorial which made me realize that I only had a light lunch; not enough to sustain me through this long wait. Others were mindlessly flipping through equally mindless short videos where humorless people are trying to be funny. All these distractions were helping everyone endure or even forget that they were actually waiting for something. Maybe one can argue that they came prepared for the long wait. Perhaps, I am like the unwise virgins. However, I am not sure this is what Jesus meant in the parable of the ten virgins. I have to admit this is not an easy parable to interpret. It is mostly commonly interpreted as waiting for the Second Coming of our Lord. I am not sure if this interpretation has any major significance in our ministry in the streets. However, there is a concrete lesson for us here. After all, waiting is something we quite often do here in the streets.

Daniel was sitting next to me. For him, the whole venture is an ordeal. He kept repeating the words, “Everything is going to be alright.” Of course, it is going to be fine. It is just his identity card. We have waited here in this same place countless times; doing exactly the same thing. We have done this so often that we can actually orientate complete strangers on the whole process. The irony is that we, ourselves, have never had our documents done here. This is only for Brazilian citizens. By law, Daniel was required to get all his documents when he reached 18. He is 21 now. In a way, he is the like bride of the parable. He needs all his documents and he is very nervous about it. We are his “bridesmaid” ensuring him that everything is going to be alright.

Our children and youth find it intimidating to enter any government building. All their experiences in these places have been negative. In Daniel’s case, he was once imprisoned in a juvenile detention center once after coming out from a public bathroom. He was dragged into a police station where he was asked for his personal information and then treated roughly. This is basically the treatment they believe that they will receive in most government buildings. It was really timing that got him into trouble. He was in the bathroom and two other boys who stole something ran into it. Daniel decided to leave immediately and the security guard grabbed him. Even though the victim insisted that he was not the one, Daniel spent four months in detention before being released with no charge. Most of the youth feel like people are always judging them especially in any government buildings. It is understandable. Even those who have never been arrested before remember the first time their parents left them in the custody of the State in a government building. They recall the trauma of being abandoned and sent to a place to be grouped together with other abandoned children.

We have been here for almost an hour. I looked at the panel and Daniel was just ten numbers away from being called. I asked Daniel jokingly if he wanted to play a game of Uno. He did not get my feeble attempt at humor instead he asked for a coloring book. It is actually one of the things that has helped our youth to calm down. He started coloring and suddenly his demeanor changed. He was completely into his coloring and looked very peaceful. He wasn’t distracted. Those around us glued to their devices were oblivious to the presence of people around them. Daniel needed to know that someone was with him. Coloring is something he always did with us. It was his way of being close to us. Besides, he was too anxious to be distracted. Our eyes were glued to the panel and he was four numbers away.

Jesus used everyday situations to tell his parables. In His time, it was customary for the bridegroom to go home and prepare a place for his bride immediately after the betrothal. The marriage would not take place until the groom had the place ready to receive his bride. Once accomplished, the groom would return to the bride’s family and receive her as his wife. The only task of the bride was to be ready and wait. No dates were set because it was a time when no one followed a tied schedule, neither was there any way to communicate to the bride when the groom was coming. A simple journey then could take days or even weeks. There were countless things to make the bride anxious and worried. The groom could be delayed due to financial restraint. He could be robbed on his way to her or he could have taken ill. The bridesmaids’ task was to console and encourage the bride to keep hope. This is what we were doing at this moment. We were waiting with Daniel to help him not to give up. Maybe it seems something trivial but all great lessons start in a small and simple manner.

The panel showed that Daniel was only three numbers away from being called. He was almost done with his coloring. He actually did an excellent job. I assured him, “Anytime now and it will all be over.” Famous last words, unfortunately. There was a commotion among the staff. They suspiciously stopped calling out the numbers. No one seemed to be busy in front of their computers, instead, they were talking and joking among themselves. Then a woman came and advised us that the system was down. No one was going to get their documents processed today. We were so close, just three numbers away.

Daniel did not seem to be upset. He kept saying out aloud, “Everything will work out.” Strangely, we weren’t upset either. I mean there is nothing we could do about it. There was no point demanding. The system was down and it was a lousy system. However, the people responsible are hiding in some bureaucratic office completely oblivious to the plight of the common people. We went up to the desk and got another date for us to sit and wait for hours. It is tedious and absolutely boring but not a wasted moment. For us, this whole endeavor started out as being something pragmatic. The youth need their documents and they don’t have any parents to help them with the process. However, it meant something else for the children. When Daniel asked for our help with the documents, Gabriel stood up and said that we helped him get all his documents. It meant something special for him. Immediately, the other youths around us asked our help for other documents. Daniel was first in line.

He was hungry (maybe he caught a glimpse of the recipe video) and asked if we could buy him a snack. We got a nice meal for him and sat with him as he devoured it. Then he hugged us and told us that it was great day. He got to spend some quality time with us. We were quite amazed that he wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t get his documents done. Maybe it is because he knew that it would all work out for him. However, he just needed someone to be with him to help and reassure him.

There are many ways to wait. Most of the time, I wait for something to happen. In this case, we were waiting with Daniel. It wasn’t about something. It is about a person. He wanted us to be present with him. In fact, each time the numbers changed in the panel, he kept asking if his turn was close. He needed us to be alert with him. I could have brought my little device to help me endure the long wait but it would have distracted me from being with Daniel. It is not about the arrival of the bridegroom. It is about waiting with the bride. It is about participating with her in her anxiousness and worries. It is about rejoicing with her when they hear the footsteps of the bridegroom approaching to receive her. It is about being completely present when waiting. We are going back to the place today. We might wait for a few more hours. It is going to be frustrating but we have brought enough oil with us to be present with Daniel. We are privileged to be asked to be with him. This parable is very practical.