Ministry to Children

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Neither to the Right nor to the Left

Let us pass, I pray thee, through thy country: we will not pass through the fields, or through the vineyards, neither will we drink of the water of the wells: we will go by the king’s high way, we will not turn to the right hand nor to the left, until we have passed thy borders.-Numbers 20:17

We had just sat down for dinner. We hadn’t seen our friend for a while and finally, after several unsuccessful attempts, we could have a quiet evening together. As usual, our conversation led to our encounters with the children in the streets. Our friend has always been interested in our work. She considers herself an agnostic for the time being. She hasn’t quite found her spiritual home yet. However, this does not hinder us from speaking freely with her about our religious experience. We often share the spiritual lessons that we believe God is teaching us through the children. We don’t do this to do this as an attempt to evangelize her. She is aware of this. In reality, it has never been an issue. She is free to talk about her doubts and spirituality in the same manner with us. We speak so frequently about the children and teens that she even knows the children and teens by name, even though she has never met any of them. We were about to share an incident with Alex when all the sudden we heard loud and rowdy noises coming from the streets below. It sounded like our street was being invaded by a mob. The city has been in a turmoil for the past few days. There has been a sudden change of government recently. Many consider it to be a coup and they tried to legitimize it by impeaching the present president. Everything was made official on this day. The president was legally impeached. The whole procedure happened in such a dubious way that it has made people question the authenticity of Brazilian democracy. The people have taken to the streets to reclaim the whole democratic process. People of all ages shouting their chants of discontent. In the streets their voices interrupted our meal and talk. Being the curious beings that we are, we left our dinner table to see the commotion in the streets from our window. Then we heard the gunshots.

The police were heavily armed and they were shooting rubber bullets at the protesters. We heard bombs of tear gas being fired. We were quite surprised that they were doing this in our residential area. The protesters became disoriented and started running away to escape the stinging affect of the bomb. We felt strange watching this from a safe place in our apartment. Maybe we should be down below with them. These people were protesting against a grave injustice. It was partisan politics at worse. The protest was not in favor of the president: very few people thought that she was doing a good job. However, I have to resort to a cliché and say that “two wrongs do not make a right”. The democratic process needed to be respected. This protest was a call for re-election. We watched this drama of violence and politics unfold from the comfort of our living room window. The police successfully dispersed the crowd. The excitement slowly died down but the sirens and helicopters continued to haunt our neighborhood. We had to shut all the windows before we went back to our meal which was slightly cold by now. Thankfully, I prepared something that would be good at room temperature as well. No reheating was necessary. We could just sit and resume our conversation about Alex. It was really about his pet dog. It seemed like trivial subject compared to what we had just seen.

A few days ago, we saw Alex sitting alone at the steps of the cathedral. He has been spending more time with us. He was never seen without his little puppy, Princess. She was about three months old. We were really impressed by the way he had been taking of her. He had proved himself to be a very conscientious pet owner. He took her to the vet to get her shots. He used a large part of his money which he gets from begging to buy her the best dog food for puppies. This was good thing because he had less money to buy paint thinner. He carried her around wrapped in a blanket so that the cold winter breeze would not bother her. It was quite a delight watching him take care of his pet. Therefore, he was without her on this day. We sat down and waited for him to approach us which he did almost immediately. He was visibly upset. He told us that someone had stolen Princess. We could see that he wanted to cry but he held himself back. He sat in a silence for a while. Then he turned around and told us that it happened at night when he was in a deep sleep. He returned to his pensive mood. We sat there with him in silence. Finally he looked up and asked if I could go with him to help him look for the dog. He thought that there might be a possibility that it might been wondering around in the area where they usually slept. The children sleep under a highway tunnel. In order to get there, we have to cross two busy and dangerous roads. Alex wanted me to go with him. He could have done this on his own but he did not want to be alone today. I said that I would go and we set off together.

As we were walking to this place, Alex muttered a prayer which he kept repeating until we got to the place. He was pleading to God to keep his puppy safe and sound and he wanted to her back. It was a heart breaking prayer. Unfortunately, I felt almost certain that his dog was not going to be there. Nevertheless, we searched high and low and never found it. Eventually we gave up and walked slowly back to the cathedral. Alex was silent. I could see the disappointment and hopelessness in his eyes. I wanted to say something to comfort him but nothing came to my mind. I just walked beside him in silence. I put my arm around him and he just kept quiet. He did not stay long at the steps. He was too distraught. He went away and we did not see him after this for at least two days.

The President’s impeachment and Alex’s new lost puppy are the two events that happened this past week. The media covered the former and it was in everybody’s mind including us. On the other hand, Alex’s crisis was not newsworthy. It is an incident that only we knew about and now our friend knows as well. Alex’s world is simpler than the president’s. He has very little to give him pleasure in this life. His puppy brought him some joy and meaning. Now, it is gone. Alex has only drugs and nothing else. The president, on the other hand, might have felt humiliated and betrayed. She lost the chance to run a large nation. However, the truth is that she hasn’t lost much. She never had the power to begin with. She did not lose anything except her pride. She still has many things intact. The fact that there are thousands of people protesting around the nation is a sign of her wealth (I am using this in the broad sense). Maybe more people are expressing their support for her now than when she was actually the president. She may have lost her executive powers but she is not poor and forgotten. Alex, on the hand, remains forgotten and unknown. Losing a tiny puppy has made him poorer than before. It wasn’t just about a puppy. It was about being alone in this world. For a brief moment, Alex believed that there was a warm living thing that would be with him in the streets every single moment of his life. This dream was shattered. The dog was stolen from someone who barely had anything. The media will never report this tragic story. It operates on a different political realm where only the rich and famous matter. Our political realm includes people like Alex, the lonely and forgotten. This is why we are not in the protest. We did not want the political climate of this or any country to distract us from walking on the King’s Highway. We shall not turn to the left nor the right but keep our focus on the road to His Kingdom. Alex is our guide to keep us on this road.

Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.- John 18:36

I feel like I should make something clear at this point. I do not intend to say that Christians should not be involved in political life of the country or even participate in protests and boycotts against injustice or the ruling party. I am not saying that they should either. The Holy Spirit is present in each one to guide us in our political involvement. We should not define political action in the restrictive manner of this world. We are not apolitical. We are very active politically but not according to the standards of this world. We walk in a different political highway.

We love this city. We love it despite of its pollution and traffic and lack of nature. However, we always need to be clear of who we are in this world. The crime and violence does not impede us from participating in its community life. Our friends consider us as “Paulistanos” (name given to those born in this city) at heart. We are proud of this. However, we are here because we are citizens of the Kingdom of God. This Kingdom is present and real here. Kings, Queens, Presidents and Prime Ministers come and go. They make promises that they cannot keep and most of them are not necessarily dishonest people. They believe like Pilate when he thought that he had the authority to decide on the outcome of Jesus’ life. The answer is always the same. They have no power except for what is given to them by God. Some people put their faith in them because they have no other choice. However, Christians are aware of a greater and eternal Kingdom. Our vocation is to be politicians of this Kingdom but we don’t take our cue from the politicians of this world. Unlike them, we don’t believe that it is up to us to materialize the Kingdom of God. It is not our prerogative to do this. It is already here present and active because the King of Kings is present through the Holy Spirit in this world. Our vocation is walk in this world as the Light of the gospel. This Light is to guide all peoples to walk in the highway that reveals the Kingdom of God. We don’t make God’s reality happen in this world. We are called to recognize its presence in this world.

I am saddened by the President’s impeachment. She is a human being and no one deserves to be humiliated publicly in this manner. However, I am not going to the streets because of this. We will go the streets everyday to protest against abandonment and isolation. We don’t need to carry signs. We don’t need to chant slogans. We don’t need the media or any public attention to achieve our goals. We just sit and wait at the steps of the cathedral. We wait for young children who have lost their treasured four-legged companions and want a parent to be with them in this tough and difficult moment. We wait for the Holy Spirit to bring the ones that are looking for the Kingdom to us. Personally, I have participated in protests against the government before. I ran away from rubber bullets. I suffocated on the fumes of the tear gas. I must admit that it is very frightening and exciting at the same time. It gives me feeling that I am doing something concrete. However, this feeling doesn’t last. In my soul, I know that there is a real and powerful way to make a difference in this world. Being with Alex on this sad day was a most powerful reminder of this. It seems like something trivial and some people might wonder how I say this about looking for a puppy. It wasn’t about the event. It was about the person. Being with Alex changed something in my soul. I can’t quite explain it yet, but it has kept me walking on the King’s Highway and discovering what it means to be a citizen in the Kingdom of God.

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Bruna’s story

Jesus said unto them, “Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.”-Luke 9:48

Bruna is not to be confused with Bruno. I have written about Bruno in several posts but for the first time I am telling Bruna’s story. They both are about the same age and share the male and female versions of their names. Their similarities end here besides the fact that they are both homeless. Both have very different stories to tell regarding their journey to the streets.

Bruna never had much of a chance. Her mother is a crack addict. Consequently, Bruna was exposed to drugs and crime since the day she was born. This did not stop her from hoping that she would have a decent mother. She really just wanted a mother, but her mother never wanted a daughter. This did not stop Bruna from trying to be one to her. She tried everything within her capacity to please her mother. Nothing seemed to work. Her mother was too broken to notice. It was really a question of identity. Children discover their self-worth through their parents. They are the first ones to give us some meaning for our very existence. Unfortunately, her mother never gave her this assurance. Bruna admits that she always had people willing to look out for her. However, for a little child, it is not the same. She wanted her own mother to love her. Bruna always tried to win her mother’s heart. She wanted her life to mean something for her mother. All her attempts only brought tears for Bruna. Her mother had nothing to give and this is why she was slowly killing herself with crack.

Bruna hardly smiles. She usually keeps to herself and does not interact with people easily. The thing that struck me most was that she remembered Mary’s name almost immediately after our first meeting. She would come to Mary and clearly articulate her name as if to say that I know you by name instead of just a generic anonymous greeting. She would always give Mary a kiss. She shares Mary’s interest in art and she loves to color complex designs and patterns. She shared with us that she discovered her love for art when she was living in a Catholic Orphanage. This was something we never knew about her. She could also recite the rosary in Latin which she learned from the nuns. São Paulo has a world-class art museum that has a permanent collection including those of Van Gogh and Rembrandt. Despite in her interest in art, Bruna had never set foot in this place. This is not uncommon because places as such tend to intimidate our children and teens. They feel too self-conscious to enjoy them. We asked her if she would like to go the museum with us. Her face lit up with a huge smile and she nodded enthusiastically. We set the date and time and when the day arrived, we found Bruna all dressed and ready for our visit together.

When we walked into the museum, Bruna just wandered off on her own and started admiring the different paintings. It appears that all the beauty displayed in this place just consumed all her fears and sense of insecurity. She started gazing at the paintings and savoring the colors and the details of the art pieces. On several occasions we were all drawn to the same pictures. TCriança Morta_1944here was one particular art piece by a Brazilian artist, Candido Portinari that arrested both our attention. The picture depicted the death of a child and the family were in tears and devastated by the tragic event. It conveyed a sentiment so palpable and Bruna and I just stood there absorbed in this sentiment. Pain and suffering unites all humanity. It is something we share in common. Bruna is only twenty and she has experienced more then her fair share of it. Maybe it wasn’t the hardness of life that attracted her to this picture. Maybe it was the family being together despite the tragic circumstances. This togetherness is something she did not even possess.

This was not the only picture that she reflected on. The paintings that held her attention revealed her distinctive taste and perhaps even a little bit about herself. After the museum, we went for ice-cream and we sat at a food court and just talked and ate together. Then we went back to our apartment and she went back to her spot in the streets. We hugged before we said goodbye. She was truly happy to spend the day with us. At least, when we were in the museum, our differences melted away and we were united in the different expressions of the human experience. There was no class or social divisions in the art themselves. There was just a longing for something meaningful.

I wrote the section above about three months ago. I don’t know why I never published it. We did not see Bruna for a while after this little excursion. It is not uncommon. Everything is very fluid in the streets. We might spend a special day or have a intimate connection with a child one day and then we won’t see them for months before our next interaction. We have learned to appreciate each special moment as a gift from God and not expect a constant repetition of it. Such occasions are treasures that we will stay with us for eternity. We shouldn’t get too greedy for these treasures but just receive them as the Holy Spirt gives them to us.

Bruna began eventually to reappear in our lives. Since we are always found sitting at the steps of the Cathedral, she knew exactly where to find us. A couple of days ago, she sat next to us on the steps and asked if she could color. As usual she chose one with a complex design. She is very meticulous. She never repeats colors and chooses them in a way that highlights particular objects in the picture which have impressed her. She sat and colored in silence for almost two hours. When finished, she wanted to work on another piece. Occasionally she would stop to say something but nothing really significant, perhaps a passing thought. She did not need to say anything important. Her presence alone spoke volumes. We found out that her birthday falls on the same day as Mary. We asked what she wanted to do. She had no idea. Birthdays come and go for these children without any significance. It is not surprising that they want nothing special for their birthdays. We convinced her to have coffee and cake with us. She smiled and agreed.

The times we spent with Bruna are quiet and peaceful. She does not say much but she just sits with us. I think this is all she wanted from her mother. She just wanted to be with her. She does not demand anything from us. She has never asked us to help her in any way. She just wants to sit and be with us. Bruna is known for her aggressiveness in the streets. She has to be this way in order to survive. With us, she has the opportunity to be a peaceful young girl who just want to be loved. She wants someone to think that her life matters. All she ever received from her mother was rejection. We hope that she senses that her existence is meaningful to us. I believe she does.

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Necessary Economy

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.-Luke 16:10

Today was not a good day. No one got hurt, sick or was ill-treated. Nothing happened that discouraged us. There just simply no one in the streets. Well, there were lots of homeless adults but not one of our children or teens were in the streets. We sat and waited for them for three hours and no one showed up. I tried to fill our time with reading the Bible and Mary attempted to draw something. We thought that we should do something at least. We wanted to feel like we were not wasting our time. There was an internal pressure within us to make every moment count. However, it did not work. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing made us feel a little restless and aimless. There is no cure for this. We just have to face it head on and deal with it.

It was different yesterday. We wished today was just like yesterday.

The children and teens were waiting for us at the steps when we arrived yesterday. We almost did not even have time to say our customary prayers before work. They were happy and eager to see us. Some of them came to us and asked us to do some activity with them. Ruan whom we haven’t seen for weeks was there and he sat next to us and told us all about his new pet. It was a puppy that someone had given to them. Then Caio came over. We have seen Caio around in the past few days but he is always on the move. He hardly stops to talk. However, yesterday was different. He sat down next to me and just started talking. He had read something about Holy Communion and wanted to talk about it. We asked about Bruno and then almost magically he just showed out of nowhere. He had a bunch of English words that he wanted Mary to translate. There were teens who wanted first aid to be done. Many wanted to tell us something interesting that happened to them. Some had questions about God and life in general. There were so many children and teens wanting our attention that our heads begin to spin in a good way. We felt like we were accomplishing something. It was a good feeling.

Caio asked me to read from John 6 about the sacrament of the Body and Blood. He had read something about the Lord’s supper stating that the Catholics confused the biblical text on John 6. Caio had read that the Holy Communion was really an invention of the Catholic Church. Even though he is from an evangelical background that doesn’t believe in the sacraments, he felt that the Holy Communion was something spiritual and mystical and not a mere doctrinal invention of the church. Together we read John 6:56 from my Bible,

He that eats my flesh, and drinks my blood, dwells in me, and I in him.

He said that whenever he read these words, he felt in his spirit that the communion is something more than a mere ritual or remembrance. He thinks that participating in the Communion somehow connects him with Christ in a real way. The best I could do at this point was to listen to his reflections. He wasn’t asking any questions so I wasn’t expected to give any answers. He wanted me to just listen. He said that he went to a church where the communion was done in a haphazard manner and he did not stay till the end. He felt that it was disrespectful. Whenever he goes to church, he goes for the reverence. He needs this sense of reverence that is lacking in his life. Then he remained silent. I did not try to fill this empty space in our interactions with useless opinions. I sat in silence with him. After a while he smiled and asked if we could play a game.

At this point, Alex walked up to us and told us that an elderly man had fallen and hurt himself badly. We asked what happened. He just said that old people tend to fall and we need to help them. He had tried to console the man but there were too many people around. As he was saying this, an ambulance passed us. It most likely carried the old man within. Bruno was also asking questions about the Bible and faith as well and Mary was trying to answer his questions in between playing a game of Uno. Bruno likes the comfort of playing a game while asking some serious questions. All in all it was a great day. We did not get the chance to speak with all the children and teens and we ended staying longer than we usually do. However, today was different. We might be going home at our usual time.

“Nothing is wasted in God’s economy.” An Anglican priest once shared these words of wisdom with me. Maybe it is a quote from someone famous; I don’t know. These words were spoken after he spent his time listening to me. They were his words to my soul. I was sharing a difficult moment in my parish ministry where I felt that I was doing and achieving absolutely nothing. I was doubtful about my ministry and I wasn’t sure if the congregation were benefitting from the things I did. Somewhere his simple words found a permanent home my heart. He encouraged me to focus on the gospel and not to worry if anything I did appeared to be fruitless. The same church where I felt useless is one of the churches where I can truly say that I had a successful ministry. It never grew leaps and bounds but I learned to become one with the church. We started out being worlds apart. It was a rural church in a small city in the Northeast of Brazil where they never had a foreign presence for centuries and I was a full-bred big city foreigner who loves big city culture. Superficially, it looked like a perfect recipe for a disaster. I decided to continue to wait even I felt useless. I learned to trust God to “waste” my time. This was actually the missing element that was needed for us to grow into being One; the willingness to “waste” my time.

Sitting at the steps and waiting is difficult. We feel obligated to be always doing something to justify our existence but God does not need us to do this. He created us. This is alone justifies our existence. We exist because God wants us to be. The salvation of the children and teens is not dependent on us. God loves these little ones and He will reach out to them regardless of whether we are there or not. He does not need us to save these little ones. He gives us the privilege to participate in His work. It is a gift from God for us just sit there and wait like the Good Father sat and waited for His prodigal son to return home. God calls us to wait with him for these children and teens. If we don’t do it, then He will call someone us to do it. God wouldn’t lose anything but we would have lost something precious in our lives. Therefore, it is a good thing to just sit and wait because it is participating in what God does all the time. It is an essential part of being a representative of God’s love.

I still wish everyday was like yesterday. This is just wishful thinking. Besides, I won’t appreciate and value the talks and openness of the children and teens if I don’t have days like today. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing makes me treasure the moments when something happens. The children on their part are happy finding us sitting on the steps waiting just for them. On a different occasion, we overheard Gabriel, one of the younger teens, divulging to another that we had spent hours waiting and looking for them. He was clearly impressed. It means something for people in general when they find someone just waiting and willing to “waste time” doing nothing until they come.

I know that we are going to have more days like yesterday but they are not going to happen without days like today. If we are not willing to wait, then nothing will happen. It is not easy but it is definitely not wasted time. Valuable and precious things happen to those who are willing to wait.

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The Beauty of a Complex Person

Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness.-Luke 11:34

I have written about Alex before but it has been a long time since I wrote about him. We haven’t had much contact with him these past few months. He is a complex person. He relates to people differently than the rest of the children. He is by no means a conversationalist. It is usually difficult to engage him in an activity with us. In fact, he hardly wants to do anything with us. At the same, he wants to be close to us. Sometimes he won’t even acknowledge our presence but he notices when we are not around. On top of this, he has some learning disability. It takes him a while to process things said to him and his constant abuse of paint thinner makes communication almost impossible. It is very rare that we have any talks with Alex. Since the time that we have known him, we had perhaps three occasions where we had meaningful contact with him. This was day different. He came to us announcing that his birthday was approaching. He wants to go to the Zoological gardens. He did this last year with another group but this time he wants to return there with us. We were honest with him. It wasn’t going to happen because of the logistics. It was too complicated for us to take three public forms of public transport with him to go the Zoo. I am not sure if he was willing to do this as well. The last time he went, the group had a car. Then again, I am not sure if it was really the trip to the Zoo he was after. An important aspect of our relationship with the children is interpreting their requests. I believe that it was an excuse for to talk with us. Alex has a hard time connecting with people. I think that his imminent birthday is just an excuse to talk with us.

After this animated announcement, Alex returned to his usual taciturn self. He sat next to us and was quiet. We sat there for a half hour in silence with him. Initially we tried making small talk but it was too complicated. His thinner-infused mind was not registering anything we said. He stared blankly at us for a few seconds and gave us unrelated answers. Silence was the best option for everyone concerned.

It is our practice to alternate between waiting at the steps of the cathedral and looking for the children at their regular haunts. Since nothing was happening with Alex and it looked like he wanted to be alone, we got ready to do our rounds. Alex looked up and asked why we were leaving. We explained that we were going to see if we could get the rest to come the steps. He said that there was no one around today. We understood what he was saying. He wanted us to stay there with him. He put away his thinner and then start talking about horses. I know it sounds random but this is Alex. The thoughts flow through his mind in some logical sequence that is foreign to most of us. We just are learning to go with the flow and listen to his stories. In a way, I am beginning to understand his logic. He has been thinking about his birthday and this must awakened in him a decision to talk about things that made him happy. Maybe during his silence, he was trying to decipher which happy story to tell us. Finally, it was the story of the horse. It was one of his most pleasant moments and it occurred in a state orphanage. He was given a chance to ride a horse at a small farm. Then he started talking about his childhood which led to the tragic story of his mother’s passing.

Alex was placed in the orphanage on a couple of occasions. The first time was because of neglect. It was much more complex than this. Alex was very sick at home and his mother went to get some medication. Unfortunately she was sickly as well and she fainted in the streets. She was taken to the hospital but they did not know how to get in touch with her family. This usually means that they lived in a makeshift shack that did not have telephone or even a proper address. The children being left by themselves and Alex’s deteriorating health prompted the neighbor to call the police. All the children ended up in the state orphanage until the mother could prove that she was capable of taking of them. She must have tried to be a good mother within her capabilities. She had very limited resources and finally they were forced to move in with their grandmother. The five children and mother were cramped up in a tiny room. This is all they had. There was a common bathroom which they shared with drug dealers and addicts. His mother became sick again and she fainted once more for the last time. Alex sat next to her as she was dying. The ambulance arrived after her corpse was cold. This is his most vivid memory of her. He told us this story several times. It is one of his most treasured memories.

It didn’t take long for Alex and his brother, Alan, to ran away to center. The street where their grandmother lived is one of the most dangerous areas in the center. In his case, being homeless was safer than being at home. It is the same street where some of the other boys like Ruan lived. Perhaps the lack of space and unintentional neglect had affected Alex in the way he interacts with people. However, he shared all this with eyes wide open and occasionally smiling when he had shared something funny. He transformed very before our eyes from closed up little boy into this lively and animated teenager. It was great to see this metamorphosis.

The next day, Alex saw us at the steps and he ran up to us. He placed his bag next to us and sat down by himself for a few minutes. Nothing unusual here. At that moment, a homeless man sitting not too far from us was being sick. Alex was the first to notice and asked us if we could something. We have seen scene many times before and we know enough to say the problem was that the man had too much to drink. We assured Alex that he will be fine. However, seeing the man’s discomfort bothered him, he approached the man and asked him if he was okay. The man was completely out of it and could not appropriately respond. Alex took a bottle of water out of his old worn-out backpack and gave it to the man. He then proceeded to pat him on the back and asked him to drink some water. He stayed with him until he got better. Alex walked back to where we were and sat down and went to being quiet and withdrawn. Mary tried to get Alex’s attention and she told him that he had a good heart. He did not say anything. I am not sure if he understood what she meant. He just sat quietly for a while and then start talking about different things that happened to him on this day. None of it followed a coherent sequence but yet we were able to understand him.

I have been taking the Bible to the streets recently. The children and teens know that I am a priest and they often ask questions about faith and God. I took the Bible out and before I could do anything with it, Alex started yelling out my name. He wanted to see the Bible. He flipped through the pages randomly. He was looking for the word, “John”. He is illiterate but he recognizes some words. I asked him if he was looking something specific. He wanted me to read the story of the Annunciation. I read from the gospel of Luke. He listened intently and then said that he did not understand anything. He wanted me to explain. He wanted to know how God came into the womb of Mary. We talked about the Holy Spirit and how with God all things are possible. His face lit with a smile. He said that he liked this part of the gospel when God became Man to be among us. His face lit with his characteristic smile that revealed a chipped tooth and afterwards he laid down his head to sleep. However, not before asking me if I could read to him another story from the Bible the next day.

There are two episodes from the gospels that Alex finds to be special; the Incarnation and the Passion of Christ, of course I would never use these words when speaking to him. He uses more simple and perhaps more profound phrases to describe them; God walking among us and God suffering with us. Incidentally, I found that the children and teens find it hard to relate to the Resurrection. It is not that they don’t believe it but they don’t understand its relevance to their reality. Maybe this could be our contribution. The resurrection means new beginning. The children take comfort and strength in God’s presence in their daily lives and sufferings but they cannot imagine a new beginning for themselves. Maybe through us, they can discover the words to describe this new reality.

We hardly use words in our relationship with Alex. Our conversations are sporadic and disjointed. Sometimes we feel that we are not getting through to him. This might be true. However, God has placed Alex in our lives. He is now part of our existence. In our storage of happy memories, our conversations with Alex are among them, despite the fact that sometimes we feel a little helpless and useless even when we are with him. Something is happening. It gives great comfort to know that God did not call us to save Alex. This is beyond our capacity. Our Lord did not call us to save people. He opens our eyes to see His Holy Spirit working in the hearts and minds of children and teens. Superficially speaking, Alex is not a friendly boy. It does not mean that he is hostile or bitter. He is neither of these. He is a complex young man and yet we can see the Holy Spirit working in his life. He is extra sensitive to the suffering of others. Mostly likely, he is conscious of goodness that surrounds him. He responds to these things in different ways. Our task is to testify the workings of the Holy Spirit in his life. Not just Alex, there are other children and teens who are moved by the Holy Spirit to do acts of compassion. The world passes by these children and teens and just sees a sad and depressing situation and people. God sends us into the world to proclaim and testify that the power of God’s love shines even when there is utter darkness. The gates of Hell cannot prevail against the Light of the gospel.

Alex has every reason to be bitter and angry. He did not ask to be born into the situation in which he found himself. However, when we spent these few days with him in silence, we did not see a hateful and closed person. We saw a young boy open to doing acts of love and compassion whenever the Holy Spirit prompts him. It is amazing to see that despite all the difficulty and injustice he has suffered, Alex continues to nurture a kind and loving heart.

With man this is impossible but with God all things are possible.- Matthew 19:26

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Evangelism according to the Gospel

When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” Luke 14:12-14

These words were spoken in a banquet. The poor, the maimed, and the lame were not included in the guest list and Jesus wasn’t being a good guest. He insulted his host by saying that he only invited those who could return the favor. I am sure that if Jesus was a guest in my house, he would say the exact same thing about me. I have people over for dinner on a weekly basis. We have several friends living in the same neighborhood and we have made it a custom to eat a meal together at least once a week. The food and conversation is always good and edifying and we don’t want to change anything. It is an intimate affair but alas, it also an exclusive one. It is not our intention. It just happens to be such. In the same way, the Pharisee that invited Jesus was not being exclusive intentionally. After all, he invited Jesus. He must have known Jesus’ strong criticism of his sect and yet Jesus was on his guest list. To invite someone into your household is quite a significant gesture. It means that you consider the person as your equal. This Pharisee was definitely one of the better lot. However, for Jesus, being better was not good enough. According to him, we have to be different from the world. He is reinventing the rules for a proper and successful banquet, or at least successful according to the gospel.

Hosting a dinner was more complicated then than today. Then the guests usually travelled miles to make it to a banquet. They were expected to spend at least few days at the host’s house to make the trip worthwhile. It was the responsibility of the host to provide food, shelter and even proper dinner attire for his guests. The people who heard Jesus saying these tough words then would have found it to be more scandalous than us. Today we just have to put up with our guests for a couple of hours. Being a host for a dinner is less stressful and easier in our context but the guest list still remains the same throughout the centuries. We only tend to invite those who are similar to us.

It is not hard to imagine what a dinner party would look like if we invited both our friends and the poorest of the poor. My guess would be that it would be an utter disaster. Being with and among the homeless from Monday to Friday has done enough to eradicate all my romantic illusions of poverty. I can imagine real scenarios; Bruno in his clothes that he has worn for the past few months sitting next to our friend who is a germaphobe, no one saying anything because it would be socially impermissible. The night would be dominated by awkward silence with scattered small talk. It would hardly be a pleasurable evening. I don’t think that it would be a time of relationship building. I doubt that anyone would return for another meal in my house ever, not even the homeless. I don’t believe that this was the scenario that Jesus had in mind. He wasn’t into shocking people for the sake of challenging them. He was into relationship building. The gospel is about building bridges where there was none before. St Paul reiterates this when he wrote:

Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.- 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

The point of having a meal together is to reconcile and not create a greater divide. Therefore, we need to go beyond the superficial understanding and grasp what Jesus is challenging us to do.

Personally, we would love for our friends to meet Bruno, Igor, Aline and Felipe and even the unpredictable Ruan. They are interesting teens and young adults and I believe that our friends would enjoy their company. In fact, we talk about them with our friends often at the dinner table. In turn, they often enquire after them and expressed that they were interested in meeting them one day. There is a willingness to include them into our circle of friendship. However, it is our teens and children that are afraid to meet them. They might be comfortable with us but they don’t know our friends. They are afraid that they would not be accepted. Even if we provided the proper attire and made all the attempts to make their appearances more acceptable, their inner person would not feel comfortable enough to engage with any of our friends. They would immediately shut down and not say a word. This has happened before in another circumstance. It is not just a question of opening the doors for the poor, the lame, and the blind but we need to prepare ourselves to receive them. By this, I mean that we need to be like good host and ensure that our guests have everything they need to overcome their insecurities.

When Jesus said that we should invite the poorest of the poor, He is not talking an act of charity. No one then and now does charity work out of their homes. The home is a sacred place. It is place of intimacy and friendship. When we open up our house to people, we are exposing a part of our life. There needs to be trust and confidence. These things come from true friendship. When Jesus challenged us to invite the poorest of the poor to our dinner parties, he was suggesting that we extend our friendship to include these little ones.This perhaps is the part that is the most difficult. It requires a complete change of our mindset. I don’t mean that we do what is commonly known as “friendship evangelism” which is not friendly or evangelism. That is using friendship as a means to an end. Jesus would not approve. He never loved his people so that they would become his disciples. He just loved them. True friendship is unconditional relationship. It is also rare and difficult. This is why we need the Grace of God even in our efforts to become a friend to His little ones. It goes against our common wisdom which teaches us to stay within our familiar social circles.

Being a friend in this sense is a growing process. It does not happen immediately. I am finding it hard to call our time in the street, “a ministry”. I use this word as an communication instrument so that people can understand the foundation of our presence in the streets. However, ‘ministry’ implies that this is work. Work, in turn, reflects a notion of obligation. However, our time with the children and teens is not work for us. It is a moment where we have a genuine spiritual exchange between us. They have became our friends. They have become our children and teens. They do not expect anything from us except our companionship. They share their questions and thoughts with us. They know that we will provide them with spiritual guidance when they need it. Most of the time, they just want us to be with them and the feeling is mutual. Recently we were playing a game with three of the boys on the steps of the cathedral when another older teen passed by and said, “What a beautiful family gathering!”. The statement was quite random but it describes a development in the growth of our relationship perfectly. Nevertheless, we still have miles to go. These teens and children are still not ready to come our house for dinner. One day they will because this is the goal of our evangelism in the streets.

Biblical evangelism is not about changing one’s religion. It is becoming part of a new family. The new creation begins with the creation of new family ties based on the movement of the Holy Spirit. Only God’s Spirit can break the barriers between us and the children in the streets to mold us into one family. However, for the moment, they are still in the streets. They are still separated from our friends who live in another reality. God wants to reconcile these two groups as well. They need to sit at the same table and fellowship as equals. Humanly, this is not possible. Even if we made these two groups to sit together by own cunning efforts, the result would be an artificial fellowship at best. Only God is able to remove the obstacles standing between us. All we need is to be open and willing to have these little ones to become part of our guest lists. I believe that this is the deep meaning of the Lord’s supper. I am grateful that I am part of a tradition where every Sunday, the Lord’s Table is open to everyone who accepts His invitation. At His banquet, all the human and sinful divisions are disintegrated and we become One because of our Heavenly Host. This is the goal of evangelism.

We should only invite our friends to our dinner. The dinner table is a place where trust and honesty must prevail. This is only possible among true friends. Jesus is not asking to invite complete strangers whose behavior might be dangerous or unpredictable. He is recommending that we change the way we choose our friends. They should include the homeless, the poor, and the lame. We need to open our hearts to allow these little ones to become our friends so that one day they will sit at our table and fellowship with us as our true friends. When this happens, the symbolic meaning of the Lord’s Communion will have become a living and practical reality in our lives.

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The Visible and the Invisible

“The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.”- Luke 13:19

We were sitting on the steps of the cathedral. It was still early. It takes a while for the children to find their way to this regular meeting place. A man walked up to the front of the cathedral, waving a well-used bible in his hand, and started preaching at the top of his voice. He is a street preacher from a local pentecostal church. It was hard to make out what he was saying exactly. He fluctuated between frantic screaming to quiet mumbling. I have a feeling that he mumbled through the best bits. Nevertheless he got the attention of many. Some were filming him. Others just stopped and watched his antics for few moments before going back to business. No one actually was listening. The preaching sounded a little erratic and wasn’t creating any real connection with the people. This fact didn’t seem to bother him. Besides us, there were homeless adults and some young ladies watching this scene. The ladies were tourists who had just visited the cathedral. Then, out of the blue, a Roman Catholic priest walked by dressed in his cassock. It seemed like a joke was in progress, all we needed now was a rabbi. The tourists immediately approached the priest. It seems like they had something on their mind and wanted to speak to a religious figure. They chose the priest instead of the preacher. He listened intently to them while in the background the man was shouting something about sin and idolatry. The priest prayed with the tourists and blessed each one with the sign of the Cross on their foreheads. The ladies were visibly pleased and we overheard one of them say that she felt very blessed today. The priest then turned to the people sitting on the steps and reached out and shook the hands of a homeless man. He prayed a short blessing and the man smiled at him appreciatively. He made an effort to do the same for the rest of homeless adults. Finally he made eye contact with us and smiled and did the same for us. After which, he walked quietly back into the church. Meanwhile our solitary pentecostal preacher continued screaming his head off. Everyone eventually lost interest in him and he gave up and left.

Two kinds of Christianity were displayed right before our very eyes. One was very visible and had the attention of many but it did not touch anyone. The priest, even though he was part of the established church, was basically invisible. Hardly anyone noticed his presence except those who were close by but, in a very brief moment, he connected with many.

Visible Christianity is often heard and seen in the world. It is the religion that makes outrageous and embarrassing statements and proclamations. They claim that they are doing everything for the gospel but in reality they are only making themselves visible. They want the world to know that they are a strong and powerful presence. They adopt the methods and standards of the world. Everything becomes a question of strategy and numbers. People are no longer the end but a means to an end. Their end is visibility in the world. This religion has more in common with the spirituality of the Pharisee which Jesus spoke ardently against in the gospels. Jesus criticized them not because they adopted the principles of the world in their spirituality but because they claimed that they had monopoly of true spirituality. This seems to be the attitude of visible Christianity.

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.”- Matthew 6:1

Jesus and the apostles did preach in the streets. They did not preach for the sake of preaching or promoting their movement. They preached to connect with people. Jesus did not heal to show that the gospel was true. He healed because He wanted to heal people. He did miracles because He had compassion for the people. He wanted people to understand the true nature of the gospel. For Jesus, it was always about the people. They were His goal. He wanted to connect with them. Nothing He did was to promote His own visibility. He spoke out against such attempts. Satan tempted Jesus with instant visibility in the world. Jesus turned him away. It is not compatible with the gospel. Visible Christianity is a kind of Christianity that is just visible but it doesn’t connect with people. It preaches a different gospel where people are just a means to an end.

“The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed….” Luke 13:19

I used to be a little confused about this reference to a mustard seed. A mustard plant is not a tree but Jesus made it sound like it was. I heard preachers say that this reveals Jesus’ sense of humor. It is a bit of a stretch. A closer look at the verse reveals that Jesus wasn’t talking about mustard plant. He said that that it was like a mustard seed and not a mustard seed. The presence of the Kingdom of God can be so small and quiet that it can be easily overlooked like a mustard seed. However, the potentiality of this small presence or lack of visibility does not hinder it from reaching great heights. The lack of visibility should not concern us because it doesn’t mean that it is not powerful. From Jesus’ perspective, being small is very positive. This concept is contrary to the system of this world. In this world, big always seems to be better because it has visibility. The world operates and understands only one reality; the material reality. The gospel opens the spiritual dimension to us. Unfortunately, Christians are more impressed with the material than the spiritual reality of the gospel. Christians seem to be always more impressed with bigger churches even when they do nothing to promote the reality of the gospel. Small churches are always considered in the negative light. No one speaks highly of a small church because small is synonymous with impotence according worldly standards. This idea is so prevalent and influential that even I believed it at one point. I still battle against it because I live in this world. However, we are not of this world and our Lord is our guide to live according to the principles of the Kingdom of God while functioning in this world. Our Lord Himself never bothered with having a large group of disciples. He avoided large crowds whenever possible. He refused to promote His own visibility even when his own family recommended it (John 7:3). He refused to break bread with those who were influential in the world. He walked and dwelled with those who were invisible in society. He always took the time to be with the people because they were his goal. He sought to build relationship with his disciples. He knew them by name. He knew about them. He knew them. This was only humanly possible in a small group.

The world overlooks the small because it is not focused on relationship. the world want us to achieve goals and results especially when they improve visibility. Small actions are invisible actions as long as the world is concerned and so are not commendable. Sometimes the media spotlights invisible actions in the news and always reduces them to something sentimental and vacuous. They just become nice and sweet stories that bring warmth to our otherwise cold souls. This is not how the Kingdom of God understands small and invisible actions.

The invisible priest did what came naturally to him. He wasn’t trying to draw attention to himself. He wasn’t trying to give visibility to the gospel or the church. He just lived the gospel in a simple way. In our churches and communities, there are tons of Christians who live the gospel in an invisible manner. Sometimes, they are members of churches that promote visible Christianity. They can be elderly women who visit their friends who are lonely. They can be people who always try to help those who are grieving with simple gestures of comfort. The priest prayed for the people around him. He did nothing spectacular. He just did simple things that almost anyone could do, except for the blessing of course if you are from a liturgical tradition. The priest connected with people within his means. This is something all of us can do but not everyone can preach in the streets. The gospel is about connecting us to people and through us, we hope people can see the Eternal Hope in Christ.

The children arrived shortly afterwards. We sat and drew with them. Caio came up after a month of absence and asked to play a game of Uno with me. We sat together and connected with each one. Not many words were spoken but there was a strong connection. If there wasn’t, the children and teens wouldn’t spend hours with us. Someone passing by would not understand what we were doing. They would think that we were wasting our time. It doesn’t matter. We are not doing it for them. We are doing this because it is good and wonderful to be connected with the people God brings to us. The message of the gospel is a message of reconciliation. When we connect with people in genuine way, the power of the gospel is manifested beyond words in the lives of everyone.

The priest in his invisibility has touched not just our hearts, but the hearts of the tourists, as well as some of the homeless who had eyes and ears to see what the Holy Spirit is doing.

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches”- Rev. 2:29

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Walking in My Shoes

And the blind man cried, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And those who were in front rebuked him, telling him to be silent; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” And Jesus stopped, and commanded him to be brought to him; and when he came near, he asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, let me receive my sight.”- Luke 18:38-41

Bruno doesn’t have any shoes. He walks barefoot in the streets. His heels are dry and cracked. Perhaps you are wondering why don’t we just buy him a pair of shoes. We have thought about this before, after all; why wouldn’t he want a pair of shoes? Well, he doesn’t. He had a pair of flip-flops and he gave them away to another homeless person. He is perfectly comfortable walking barefooted. He doesn’t like wearing shoes. Maybe it is because he never had shoes growing up.

Bruno was placed in an orphanage at a very young age. His mother could not afford to take care of him. However, Bruno had other siblings but he was the only one who went to the orphanage. He doesn’t recall much of his family. He knows that he has a younger sister whose name is barely remembers. He has mentioned once that he would like to meet her. She would be fourteen now. He has lost all contact with his family. He does not even have any idea where his mother lives. He thinks that she would not recognize him even if she passed him on the street. I told him that this would be impossible. A mother never forgets her son.

From Bruno’s point of view, he was rejected by his family. I am sure that it wasn’t an easy choice for his mother. Poverty and other circumstances drove her to place her son in an orphanage. The other children remained with her. No matter how much we try it is impossible to explain the rejection away. Perhaps Bruno’s way of accepting extreme poverty in his appearance is an attempt to convince himself and others that he does not need material things. He was taken away from his family because of money and if he could live without it, maybe he thinks that people would not reject him. Not matter what his real reasons are, he has learned to organize his world without any need for it. Perhaps if we forced him to wear a pair of shoes, it could just upset his personal world order. Bruno would rather give up our relationship with him than upset his “perfect world”.

Bruno wanted to introduce us to a woman whom he met recently. He only had good things to say about her. When we met her, we could see why. She was a kind and generous person. They had crossed paths when he was begging outside a restaurant where she had lunch. She gave him a generous gift. It was a large offering which left Bruno amazed. She saw something in him and wanted to take the extra step to help him. She offered to put him up in a hostel where he could get cleaned and groomed. She was going to help him get his documents sorted out. As she is an owner of a successful circus, she wanted Bruno to work there. She told us that she grew up in a circus and it was very much like an open family. She was sure that Bruno would adapt well there. The problem is that Bruno was not part of this conversation. He just smiled and nodded agreeably to whatever she said. He made a comment that he never imagined living or working in a circus before. Before anyone could saying anything, she was already making all the necessary phone calls. At no point, Bruno disagreed with her but he did not agree to anything as well. The lady was kind and generous but she did not know Bruno. She assumed what she knew what Bruno needed. This is a dangerous assumption.

I don’t need to be a prophet to foretell the future in this case. This woman was going to disappointed that Bruno completely disregarded all her efforts to help him. She might come to think negatively of him. She might even say that he is an ungrateful young man and perhaps lazy. None of this would be true of Bruno but one would need to know him to understand why he refuses any help. The problem is not with Bruno or the woman. It is the way we approach people. We have a tendency to assume that we know what the neighbor needs. Jesus never did this unless He had a personal insight into the person’s life. Just because Bruno begs for his food does not mean that he is going to jump at every opportunity of a job. We must not assume that the homeless are sitting around waiting for one of us to give them an opportunity. The truth us that they have learned to survive in their situation. Bruno was organized his life to survive in this world. He believes it to be secure and stable and he is not going to give this up just because we offer a nice job and promise of a good life. These promises do not mean anything to him. He would prefer to hold on to reality that he is familiar with than give up everything for a possibility with no guarantees. If someone came to us right now where we are in life and made us an offer of a better life and we have to give up everything we have known to be our security in order to attain it, would we do it ?

Perhaps, some would say that if we were in Bruno’s shoes, we would take the opportunity. This is the problem. It is impossible for anyone to walk in Bruno’s shoes. They only fit him. His pains and joys, which have helped him formulate his worldview according to his personality and temperament, belong to him alone. He is an individual being and we are individual beings. Even if I spend a year living in the streets as a homeless person, I will never be able to think and act like Bruno. The best that I could do is to think like Stephen pretending to be homeless. When I assume what is good for someone like Bruno, I imagine myself to be Bruno and then think of things that I would want. Again, it is what Stephen wants and not what Bruno believes to be important. It is impossible for me to know what Bruno needs and wants to make his world better. Only he alone can tell these things. When Jesus, in the quoted text above, saw a blind man crying out for mercy. Jesus did not assume anything. He did not assume that he wanted to see. He respected the man and asked him what he wanted.

Asking someone what they want or need is an important question that opens the door into the life of the person whom we want to help. We judge the needs of the people by appearances. This is not an edifying approach because it simplifies everything. People are more complex than their basic needs. Bruno has been judged unfairly by his appearance his whole life. If we want to build a lasting relationship with anyone whom we are called to serve, then we have to follow the example of Jesus. We have to allow the people to share their needs with us. It may not be what we think of as priority but we must be careful that in our attempt to help someone that we do not dehumanize them further. Every human being has developed their own system of survival and we need to respect it. It is something that they have constructed based on their personal experiences. Jesus did not impose His godly ways on people. He gave them the freedom to allow Him into their lives as they were comfortable and ready. He never asked the old woman whose ailment he healed to become his disciple. He just healed her and let her carry on with her life. I am sure that she was transformed by the incident but she needed time to reorganize her world to truly understand what Jesus had done.

We spoke to Bruno a few days later. He said that he stopped going to the place where he met this lady. He said that he was afraid that she would force him to do something that he wasn’t ready to do yet. He did not want her to think that he was lazy or did want any help. He was just not ready to give up everything that he has known as his security and freedom to live in a circus. We encouraged him to be honest with the woman. I said that the most responsible thing to do was to go back and explain to her that the timing was not right for him to leave everything behind but he really appreciated her help. He seemed to like this idea. To my surprise, he immediately stood up and decided to go back to the place where he met her and be honest with her. It had been bothering him for some time. I said a little prayer and hoped that she would understand his position.

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A Conversation with Wellington

So Zacchaeus ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree to see him, because he was going to pass that way. When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” So he hurried down and was happy to welcome him. All who saw it began to grumble and said, “He has gone to be the guest of one who is a sinner.” Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, “Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay back four times as much.”-Luke 19:4-8

I was sitting on the Cathedral steps waiting for the children when Wellington sneaked up from behind and startled me. He had a good laugh and then asked about Mary. She had to stay at home to get some work done in our apartment. Without missing a beat, Wellington was anxious to show the sum of money he earned during the week. He worked in a construction project but he quit after a week. I asked if there were vacancy for this job. I was thinking about Igor and Mateus. He thought that the work was demanding and dangerous. He said that he wouldn’t recommend it to his worst enemy. I asked him what he was going to do with all the money he had earned. He wanted to take the other children to MacDonald’s and keep the rest to rent a room in a hostel. He had enough for a week. However, the first thing after he received his paycheck was to stop by the first church on his way to leave a donation in the offering box. I was a little surprised. I asked him why he did this. He said that he wanted to be connected to God. He said perhaps this little contribution would help him to take another step towards Baptism one day. He would like to be a Christian but he feels that he is not ready yet. He never had a religious upbringing but his parents were superstitious. They never went to church or observed any religious festivals. He started going to church on his own when he was a young boy. He always liked being in a church. He added that he liked talking with us because we help him feel connected to him to God. Needless to say, I was encouraged by this and it boosted my ego.

His name is actually spelled “Uelington” which is how “Wellington” is pronounced in Portuguese. His parents were illiterate. They did not know how to spell his name and the person at the registry wrote down his name the way it sounded. Unlike most of our children, Wellington was born in a rural setting. Beside this, he also had a very strong relationship with his father. Many of the children have never seen their fathers whereas Wellington adored his father. He worked with him when he was a young boy and he always did everything to be close to him. His mother, unfortunately, was an alcoholic. He never had any strong affection for her. He speaks of her with disdain. His world eventually collapsed when his father suddenly died. He was forced to deal with his mother and other siblings who have followed the footsteps of her alcoholism. He never suffered physical abuse although he thinks it would have been better if he did. It was the unkind words proffered against him by his mother that have scarred his soul till today. He left his little rural town when he was barely thirteen and went to a city as far away as possible from his mother. This was the last time he saw her and he is twenty-two now.

It is rare that we have a serious conversation with Wellington. He is jovial person and often uses humor to hide his true nature. Today was different. He was ready for a conversation. Wellington shared that he was there on the night when a mentally-ill person poured gasoline on me and tried to set me on fire. He actually pushed her away when she tried for the second time to light her lighter. I was in a such a state of confusion that I did not notice his presence there. He said he was amazed that the whole event did not change the way we work with them. He attributed this to faith. He also said that the woman had recently died and I was still well and alive. I stopped him before he could say that it was retribution. I wanted him to know that things don’t work this way. It was sad that this woman had met a tragic end. She had suffered her whole life with mental illness and hopefully she is at peace now.

I told him that I don’t why the lighter did not work at the moment. If she had successfuly set me on fire, it would not have changed anything about God or our faith in Him. Nevertheless, I was glad and grateful to be alive. Wellington asked if I believed that God protected me from a premature death. I told him that some would answer say, “Yes!” without any hesitation. However, it is not an easy question to answer. The very night of the incident, I read some news about a young college student in the States who experienced the exact same thing as I did but she died. Her family and friends described her as a kind and gentle person. Her family might ask why God did not save her? We have no answer for the family. We can ask why God did not spare His Son from the Cross. There can never be an adequate answer. Perhaps the question is wrong. God came to be with us. He wants to show us something more profound and mysterious of life. It is not about getting him to do things we want or desire. I desire that everyone I love would be safe all the time but God did not come to this world to do this. He is Emmanuel, God with us.

All I can say confidently is that God was with me at the moment and He was with the girl in the States. The outcome is different from both of us. We need faith to process what God is doing in each person’s situation. In my case, God wanted me to return to the streets the next day. I believe that having faith does not mean that God is going to do exactly what we want. It is just knowing that God is going to be with us and He will give us the strength to rise above each situation.

Thankfully the conversation did not end there. Wellington went on to share his favorite story from the gospel. It is the one quoted above about Zacchaeus. He said in the story everyone was gathering around Jesus. They had expectations of him. They heard that he did miracles and healing. They wanted to experience these things. Zacchaeus was despised by society and naturally he did not expect Jesus to treat him any different. Perhaps he was the only one in the crowd who did not have any ulterior motive. He just wanted to see the person of Jesus. There was no expectation on his part, except the joy of seeing the Messiah. Jesus did not perform any miracles or healing in Zacchaeus’ home but He just dined with him. The result was a transformed life. Wellington went on to say that he wants to have the attitude of Zacchaeus. He confessed that whenever he prays in church he wants God to do things for him but at the same he just really wants to see God’s presence in His life. He does not need God to answer his prayers at all, as long as he knows that God is present.

I sat there and listened to Wellington profess these beautiful words. He has said something that suffices for the moment. He defined what it means to have a relationship with a personal God. It is an unconditional relationship. He is not a personal God when He does things for us. He is a personal God because He is present in our lives. Wellington wants to be like Zacchaeus because he wants a genuine transformation like the one the tax collector experienced. I believe that it will happen one day. For now, I am glad that I had this enriching conversation with him.

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From Them to Us

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. -Philippians 2:5-8

There were boxes everywhere. Our one-bedroom apartment looked even smaller than before and at the same time we were amazed how much stuff we managed to pack away in this tiny space. We were far from finished and would move in two days. Our new home is a two bedroom apartment within the same neighborhood. The past few days we have been walking back and forth making sure that everything was ready for our big move. Consequently, our visits with the children have been less frequent. We were anxious to return our normal schedule. We miss giving our fullest attention to our children. There is a sense of emptiness in our souls whenever we are away from them.

I was also a little concerned for Igor. Ever since his departure from the streets, he has been living in a neighborhood about two hours away from where we are located. He has maintained contact with us through infrequent visits to our home. Now, we had no way of letting him know our change of address. We definitely did not want to lose our connection with Igor. Unfortunately, all the preparation for the move left us exhausted and we did not have the energy to find ways of getting in touch with Igor. After packing and organizing for hours, we were ready for a quiet and restful night. Then the buzzer rang and Igor was downstairs.

He was not alone. There was a young man with him. Both of the were dressed in a suit and dress shirt. Igor did not look anything like the person in the streets three years ago. Igor’s friend, Mateus, was covered with tattoos which his long-sleeve shirt wasn’t able to hide completely. Some of them were gang-related. His face looked familiar but at first instance I wasn’t able to recollect where I have met him. The boys navigated through the boxes to find a place to sit. Mateus, noticing our accents, started asking a barrage of questions about us and our background. He was like a little child with his sense of wonder. Then it hit me. I had seen him in one of my visits to the juvenile reform center. We had never spoken before but I remembered on that occasion he smiled longingly at us hoping to have some sort of connection. The juvenile centers have strict rules. We are only allowed to have interactions with the one we were visiting. For some reason, Mateus caught my attention then. I don’t know exactly why but his face and demeanor stayed with me. I remember commenting to Mary that this young man had all the outward expressions of a hardened criminal but his eyes and gestures revealed that his innocence was intact. He was detained for trafficking drugs but, despite his criminal involvement, his soul was not tainted or closed to God. It was this same characteristic trait that triggered my memory. When I told him that remembered him from that singular visit to the juvenile center, his face lit up. This was about more than two years ago. It was clear to see that he was happy that he left an impression in me. Mateus was incarcerated till he turned 19. He is 21 now. He wants to experience a different life. This was why they were in my living room.

It was joyful and heartbreaking to listen to these two young men. They had spent past few days looking for work. They were desperate and willing to do anything. They were open to be cleaners, road sweepers, construction workers…anything. They are living together with Mateus’ brother. Like Mateus, he was also once involved in the drug trade but he wants to change his lifestyle. Their present goal is very simple. They want to earn enough to pay for food and shelter. They are attending a church in their neighborhood. They have made their new-found faith as the foundation and strength for them to take a bold step towards change. They were in my apartment to ask for our assistance. They wanted to know if we knew someone who would give them a job. These boys have never had a job before. They did not where or how to start. They never had any adults in their lives to help them.

Things are extremely hard now. The economy has been stagnant for years. Besides, it has never been easy for the poorest of the poor. Steady employment among the poor is a dream that a few are able to realize. Most survive by doing odd jobs here and there. The pay is miserable but many are able to survive on it. It is going to be challenge for them to find something stable. Unfortunately, I did not have any contacts. Even if we did, there is no guarantee that it would ensure them any employment. They don’t have any skills yet. They are open and willing to do some training. This might be helpful for the future but for now they need income for the basics. There were no easy answers for them. The only thing that we could offer them was to walk with them and help them think about planning their goals to achieve the things they want. I felt that this offer was weak and deficient in the face of their struggles. We said a short prayer together.

I expected these two earnest young men to be little disappointed. They needed some concrete help and we had nothing to offer them. I was feeling disappointed and a little inadequate myself. Then Mateus surprised us. He said that they were grateful that we treated them as equals. Initially I was a little confused by this statement. These young men are facing eviction from a tiny shack in a slum. They don’t have any money for food. They are no idea whether they might find a job soon. We, on the other hand, are moving to a bigger apartment. We have more things than we need in our living room packed in boxes. Materially speaking, we are better off than them. However, Mateus and Igor were able to overlook the material and financial differences between us and discover equality with us. Our relationship made the transition from “we” and “them” to “us”.

They came looking for us to help them find employment. Our vulnerability or lack of ability to fulfill this role helped us become one with them. They saw that we were not some superheroes that solve problems at the drop of a hat. We were just as limited in what we can do just as they were. They had spent the whole day looking for work and being rejected by every business that they approached. Feelings of inferiority must have been rampant in their souls. Sitting in the living room and listening to us say that we have no power to solve their problem helped them in some way regain their humanity. Sometimes we think that we have to solve all the problems of those who come to us for help. However, not being able to do anything can also be helpful and powerful. We did not have the resources to help them but we wanted to be with them. They wanted to come to a place where they can feel like human beings with dignity. Unbeknownst to us, being in our home has helped them regain their dignity as human beings. This is not just our interpretation. Igor clarified this to us. He told us that when we opened our home to him for the first time, he felt that we made a special transition in our relationship. It was no longer a relationship of “We” and “Them” but we are now “us”. Being unable to supply all the answers in a strange way helped us see this even clearer.

Jesus emptied Himself of all Godhood so that He could become a servant. For some pragmatic minds, it would have been more advantageous if Jesus came to us with all His divine power and solved the problems of the world. The gospels tell us that multitudes followed Jesus to see and experience some of his supernatural feats. Many believed in Jesus so that they could have access to some divine power in their lives. Jesus did heal and perform miracles. I believe that the miracles of Jesus were not an essential element of his ministry. I know that some may disagree with me here and this is fine. We don’t have agree on everything. The miracles are not the gospel. Jesus is the gospel. He came to make the transition from “We” and “God” to “God with us”. The good news is God become One with us. The moment when this happened in its fullness was at the Cross. Jesus chose to be vulnerable like us. He chose to be like those who suffer indignity and endure humiliation to the point where they doubt their humanity. Jesus chose to forego His right as God in order to identify with these people. For them, Jesus who is One with Them brings much more consolation than Jesus the super-hero who overcomes all His enemies with the sword. This participation in the vulnerability and suffering of humanity brought back dignity and hope to those who face this on a daily basis.

If we had endless resources, perhaps we could give Igor and Mateus a job. There is no guarantee that the work we might be able to provide for them would bring joy and hope to them. It would not necessarily restore any dignity to them. Perhaps it could even be an obstacle between us and them. Most likely they would not consider us as one with them. Instead, they would think of us those people who could have everything at a snap of our fingers. Thanks be to God that He did not give us these resources. Instead, we have the resources to be their friend and family in their struggles. They just wanted to be in a place where they could feel like valued people. God has given us the resource for this. This is the gospel where God becomes One with Us. St Paul tells us that we should follow in the footsteps of this God and Savior.

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The Problem of A Clean House

“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first.”-Luke 11:24-26

Her father would drink all evening. Arriving home, he was violent with everyone beginning with her mother. No one was spared the abuse. Understandably, she grew to despise him. The first chance she had, she ran away to the streets. She was determined to make the streets her home. Consequently, she became one of the toughest girls in the streets. She would still occasionally return to her house to visit her siblings and mother whom she loved dearly. She was willing to put up with her father’s abuse just to spend a few days with them. On one of her short stays at home, her father came home unexpectedly early in the evening. He looked different. He was sober. He shared with the family an astounding news; he had accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior. He promised to stop drinking and start attending church on a regular basis. The family was naturally skeptical. They had only known this man as a violent drunk. It was hard for them to imagine anything different. She decided to stay home just to see if her father was able to keep his promise. She was amazed that her father was able to overcome his alcoholism from one day to another. He replaced the bar with the church. He went there on almost on a daily basis. Within a short period, he was already sharing his testimony and given leadership roles. Everyone in the family went along to support him. She was telling me this story while she was in the streets. Anticipating a tragic end, I asked whether her father went back to drinking? She replied that he never touched a drink after his conversion and this was few years ago. However, she said that this was the only change. He continued to be violent and domineering. Since his conversion, he spent more time at home and home life for the rest of the family became intolerable. To a certain extent, it was worse than before. Instead of being drunk, her father became self-righteous and used the Bible as a justification for all his manipulative behavior. Finally, she could not stand her father’s religious diatribes and abusive ways and she left for good. She broke all contact with her family. I had this conversation twenty years ago. I never forgot any detail. It made me question the kind of the gospel that was being preached.

Many times I have heard testimonies about people who were involved in addictions and substance abuse and how they changed their lives around after they found God. These testimonies are often greeted with applause and sometimes they have even brought us to tears. I am sure that this girl’s father was one of these who has shared his testimony. These stories of overcoming addictions and self-destructive habits can be inspiring and encouraging but they are not to be confused with the power of the gospel. There is nothing wrong with testimonies in themselves. However, what we consider to be testimony-worthy may not necessarily reflect the true message of the gospel. Our testimonies should testify to the power of the gospel and not mere house cleaning stories. As pointed out by Jesus in the above parable, this is not the gospel. We don’t really need the gospel to clean our house. Therapy, meditation, joining a social movement, being part of a support group … The options are almost infinite; all of these things can help us to clean our house. They just clean up for something else to occupy the space. It could be something better or worse but Jesus seems to say that it is always something worse.

“For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”-Matthew 5:20

The Pharisees in the first century were into “clean houses”. They ensured that they were above reproach in their behavior and observance of the Law. They were not necessarily hypocritical. They genuinely desired to please God with their lives. Their spirituality was at odds with the message of Jesus because He claimed that what they did was not enough. Jesus used harsh words to describe this type of spirituality. He said that it prepared their souls to be possessed by worse and more dangerous demons.

Religion has been under scrutiny and attack these days. Religious people have shown that they have the capability to do dangerous harm with their words and actions. We cannot hide from these attacks. We have to be honest enough to accept that these attacks have some grounds. It is not just the terrorist attacks. In São Paulo, church leaders have been using the pulpit to promote their selfish ambitions and it has brought much disgust to the public. People have become skeptical about religion in general and more specifically the church. The arguments against religion are still quite infantile and biased. This does not mean that serious Christians should ignore them. We need to look beyond the arguments and see that there is a great shortcoming present. Saying “Christianity is not a religion but a relationship” is not an option or an argument. It is avoiding the question. People outside look at the church as a religion. If it is different, then they need to see the difference in those who follow Christ. Unfortunately, most Christians are satisfied with “clean house” gospel. This is the other gospel and, in reality, it is just Pharisaical religion disguised as the message of Jesus. Jesus came to preach a spirituality that would be superior to that of the Pharisees.

Strangely the parable quoted at the beginning of this post is one of the most commonly cited verses among the children and teens. Whenever they hear this, it resonates with them. Where most of the poor live, there are an abundance of churches. They have relatives who can cite biblical verses one minute and then say hateful things the next. They have seen gangsters go to church and pray and then turn around and attack a rival gang member mercilessly. They have seen the policemen in their communities preach in their churches and then accept bribes and humiliate their brothers and sisters for just walking in the street in the evening. They are inundated with the religion of the Pharisees. It is a religion of words and outward appearances and uses the tools of this corrupt world. It does not matter where we live, whether in the slums of São Paulo where most of children and teens come from or the middle class neighborhoods of our respective nations. This religion of the Pharisees is present. It doesn’t matter what religion we follow; we can be Buddhist, Muslim, Christian or Hindu, hiding behind a spirituality of words and appearances and still living within the values of the corrupt world.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”-Roman 8:5

The gospel of Jesus is about ushering in the New Creation. It is living our lives based on radically new values that are incompatible with the world’s values. We have had our fair share of tragic and violent events this year. There is always an ethical argument that follows immediately after these occurrences. Christians appear to use arguments grounded on values of this world to debate against each other. They openly embrace the principles of this world to solve the problems. This is fine if they are not people who are living their lives according to the Spirit. However, if anyone who embraces violence and hatred as a response to violence in the world, then they need to question themselves in the light of scripture. I have heard people say that we need to live in reality as well. Unfortunately this type of attitude puts in question whether people who claim to be Christian understand the gospel. The gospel faces reality in its raw and brutal form. It provides us with an answer but it may not be an answer that we like to hear.

As Christians, we need to go back to the Cross for the answer. It is our key to face the unjust brutality of this world. The silence of Jesus at his trial is a powerful weapon for us as Christians. Jesus did not passively submit to the will of the tyrants and tormentors of this world. He actively opposed them with His silence. He did not succumb to their ways and methods. He did not resort to using their tools to fight against them. He ushered a new era where the Kingdom of God will establish itself and all the corrupt ways of the world cannot deter it. The Pharisees and Roman leaders are long gone and forgotten. The Silent Christ reigns in the hearts and minds of all those who seek His face.

People want to reduce religion in all its forms to house cleaning. People are uncomfortable with the presence of children and adults living in the streets because it fills their lives with unnecessary visual inconvenience. They want to clean it up by moving them out of the streets and placing them in shelter hidden from sight. We hear news about people killing people senselessly. We want to clean it up with violence. We will only be making room for something worse and more destructive. Jesus is not into house cleaning. He is building a new house. Its foundations are stated clearly by one of his followers who understood this best.

And the fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law- Galatians 5:22-23

These are not concrete answers to problems that we are facing in this world. They are attitudes that we need to embrace to understand how to live according to the Spirit in this world. When the demon comes back to a house and finds it to be restructured and occupied with values and principles that are incompatible with its own, he will have no choice but to remain in the wilderness.

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