He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’ Matthew 13:31-32

We live in a new neighborhood. Our route to where we meet the children is different now. Our walk now is extended to forty minutes. It may seem like a long time but it is not uncommon here. Most people don’t have cars. Almost everyone in our apartment building doesn’t own one. We are all pedestrians. Besides, the walk is quite interesting but definitely not beautiful. In fact, it is full of ugly and disturbing scenes even though there is some beautiful architecture splattered along the way. We have to pass an area that was notoriously known as the “Mouth of the Trash”, although this nickname has been dropped recently because it is not good for tourism. The area is still not good for tourism but that doesn’t stop the local government from promoting it. Like I said before, it is an interesting but slightly disturbing walk.

The area has changed a lot over the past decade. In the past, there were gambling dens and brothels, not to mention shootouts over the control of these. Most of the gambling places have been shut down. The brothels are still around but thankfully no more shootouts. As for the odd and suspicious characters, they are still around. Many are crack addicts. They usually clump together to use their poison. It is quite sad. It is even sadder when we meet someone among them. This was the unfortunate case. It was a young teen whom we used to meet with the other homeless children. He was begging outside a convenience store and saw us. His first reaction was precious. He waved at us and gave us a big beautiful smile. No one could resist this spontaneous welcome. He was emaciated and dressed in filthy apparel. Anyone seeing him would immediately identify him as a crack addict. I could not hide my sadness and he picked up on it. We spoke for a few seconds and almost immediately he emotionally shut down. He started staring at the floor and asked us to let him be. I was taken aback but decided to respect his wishes. We shook his hands and left him alone. I was a little offended naturally. It bothered me as we walked the rest of the way to our destination.
I was more bothered by the fact that he asked us to leave than his present state. I suppose that it is a very human reaction. None of us like outright rejection.

We had planned to visit some of the youth who have managed to rent rooms in the center. It may seem like they have left their homeless situation. The fact is that the only change is that they are sleeping in a tiny room but they continue to live like they did when they were in the streets. This again is the major difference a person who spent their infancy homeless and an adult who became homeless. Our children and teens have no or very little memory of living in a sheltered place. They never had a real home where they can go to rest and be safe from the world. For them, this concept is foreign. The rooms they rent are just for sleeping after they spend the night in the streets.

When we arrived there, there was about ten of them squeezed in a room about 11 square meters ( 100 square feet for those not familiar with the metric system). It is more like a cubicle than a room. They pay more for it for square foot than we do for our apartment. The whole system is very unjust but this is not part of today’s story. There were about ten of them squeezed into this tiny room and every space was taken. They were all sleeping except for one who opened the door. He couldn’t even open the door fully for fear of hitting someone sleeping on the floor. It was Daniel.

I mentioned Daniel recently. I won’t repeat myself here but just say that he just got out of prison about two weeks ago. He was absolved of all crime which means that he has a clean record. We have known this boy since he was ten and now he is just turned 21 a few weeks ago. Daniel came and out gave us a big hug. Our voices were heard by the neighbors and a curious young boy ran out to see us. From his disappointed look, we assumed that he was expecting someone else. He looked like a child of an immigrant. Daniel said something to him and he ran away. We went to the area where everyone hung their laundry. We found a spot in between the clothes to talk. Some people even looked out of the window to make sure that we were not some dubious characters trying to steal their clothes. We passed the test.

Daniel told us that he was trying to reconnect with his family. He is staying with his twin sister. He comes to the streets to see his friends for a few days a week. He misses them. This is quite understandable. Most of the youth with whom Daniel grew up in the streets are not involved in crime. They use drugs but not hard drugs. He shared briefly about his time in prison without going into too much detail. He said that it was a place full of hatred and bitterness. He told himself never again. The charges were dropped because the victim did not want to press charges. She was a foreign tourist. Daniel felt that he was given a new chance and he was grateful to God for it. As we talked, it became obvious that Daniel’s major motivation to stop doing crime was the fear of punishment. This might be a good thing for the world. However, it does not suffice for the Kingdom of God.

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” Matthew 12 : 43-45

I shared this parable with him. We explained that it was not enough just to have a clean house but we need to fill it with new life-giving things. He was confused. He asked if a person who stopped doing bad things can still end up in hell. I understand where he is coming from. In the streets, we hear a version of Christianity preached by itinerant preachers. It is a message of a punitive religion. There is hardly anything about the Kingdom of God. It is just about cleaning one’s house. We don’t need the gospel to clean our house; psychotherapy, medication, and many other resources are available to do the job. The Gospel is not about house cleaning. It is about New Life. It is about living the reality of Jesus in our everyday life. I explained to Daniel that St Paul tells us that new life means those who once stole now ought to do good things with their hands. The victim did not testify against him but he still did something that was damaging to his soul. He hurt someone else deliberately. Daniel listened carefully. I know that he did not fully comprehend. It will take time to sink in and we are not in a hurry. We have spent ten years with this young man. Maybe it might be another ten years. For now, we can see a small seed is planted. He is thinking about what it means to go beyond having a clean house.

We prayed together and before we left, I told him about the boy we met that told us to leave him alone. Daniel shook his head and said, “That was the drugs talking.” Now it was Daniel’s turn to teach me about the Kingdom of God. I had been thinking about how hurtful his words were and I forgot to look at him with compassionate eyes. The poor boy is suffering and he could not handle the scrutiny of our eyes even though we were not judging him. His own conscious was tormenting him. I missed it because my eyes did not see and my ears did not hear. Thankfully Daniel’s simple words brought me back to reality. Daniel insisted on walking out with us and just as we said our goodbyes, he gave us a big hug and said that he was glad we could have our talk together. He promised to call us again soon.

The Kingdom of God is present and real every where. Usually in the small everyday things and common interactions with people whether these are good or bad. Sometimes we miss it because we forget how to look for it. It is perceived through compassionate eyes.

And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?” He answered, “An enemy has done this.” The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?” But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:27-30

It is the school vacation in Brazil. The local government has spent months prior “cleaning up” the area for the tourists. Coincidentally the area where we meet with the children is also where this largest city in South America was founded. There is a minute monument to indicate the center point where the city started all its construction. They call it “marco zero” and frankly speaking I can’t find an appropriate term for it in English. Let’s just call it the “center point”. It’s an obligatory photo spot for social media fanatics. Just a few months ago, anyone with their mobile phone out would have lost it within seconds, not to mention gold chains and other valuables. Now we have about twenty police standing around this tiny monument. Besides these, we have tons of them on motorcycles doing their rounds. All the homeless adults were made to leave the area even though it is common knowledge that the homeless adults are not prone to criminal activities. The ones who steal are usually the children and teens, more precisely some of our children and teens. Now the homeless are scattered around somewhere in the area. The children and teens are not allowed to be seen at all. At the present state, one would easily think that are no children and teens sleeping in the streets. Just a few months ago, there were at least a couple of hundred of them.

Ever since last year, we have seen an influx of children from the orphanages here. They came in loads and eventually dominated the scene. Children have a different way of behaving in the streets than the homeless adults. These have a history of family life and many have held jobs before. They tend to bring all these experiences to the streets. Our children start from zero. In a way, the fact that they live and sleep around “center point” is symbolic. This is where our children construct their understanding of human relationships and ethics from zero. Their first instances in the street are always chaotic. They behave like the children from Golding’s book, “Lord of the Flies”. However, this is not the moment to judge them. The weeds and wheat look the same at this point. It is hard to tell. Nevertheless, it is good to remember that there are weeds present. It is a dreadful mistake to romanticize the situation and say that they are all wheat. This attitude might sound beautiful and compassionate but it is a recipe for future disappointment and frustration. It is good to listen the wisdom of Jesus. He prepares us for real life and not life as we would like it. There are always weeds among the wheat.

Needless to say, with the all children going into hiding, our work has become a little complicated. However, this is a cycle we have encountered before. The government is not geared towards solving long term problems. They are satisfied with short term solutions and violence and brute force are the way they achieve it. The cycle starts every few years. The government sends the police to flex their muscles hoping that all the deep rooted societal problems will disappear. It is an illogical process but adopted by many nations. We know that things will soon return back to the state it was before. Despite all this, we still meet a few of the children everyday. In a way, it gives us a chance to spend more quality time with a smaller group. However, it still makes us curious to know where all the two hundred or so children and teens have gone. The ones we manage to find tell us that they spend the whole day wandering around the center. Some sleep under the bridge until it is evening. It still doesn’t account for many. We have enquired if some have decided to return to the orphanage but no one can give us an answer on the matter. We decided to wait for them in the area. They can always find us here.

There is always lots of yelling and noise in the streets. We usually just ignore it but this time I felt that someone was yelling for our attention. We turned around and a tiny boy appeared on a bicycle. Even though he is still a rather small fellow, he was even tinier a few months ago. His name is Lucas. He can’t be more than ten. He was one of the new immigrants to the streets from the orphanages. I always thought that he suffered from autism. Usually he is completely unaware of people around. Many times he walked passed us without saying a word. His face always was void of emotion. However, now he was smiling and he even gave us a hug and gave Mary an affectionate peck on the cheek. He looked all clean and healthy. He claimed that he was back home. We are not sure what this meant. We knew that he always was in an orphanage. Maybe the orphanage meant home for him. We asked him some questions but his mind wasn’t able to process a coherent answer. Still it was good to see him and was even more special that he called out after us. He asked where we have been the past two weeks. I was surprised that he noticed our absence. We were around but he did not see us and immediately assumed that we were away. It makes senses in a way especially for someone like him. Lucas went off without saying goodbye. We are used to it. I still wonder if this cute little boy would be considered a weed or wheat. His adorable appearance hides the fact that he is an expert pickpocket and thief; one that would make Dicken’s the Artful Dodger look like an amateur.

Many in this city will say that all our children are weeds. The government considers all the homeless adults and children in this area to be weeds. This is why they removed them from the area. Now the area seems clean but it is also appears to be dead and sterile. All the life here is gone because of some weeds.

Some people consider a dandelion to be a weed. In many cultures people eat them and considere them to be beneficial plants for our health. Lamentably, many people go after them with a vengeance and discard them as useless plants because they fail to understand their importance. Just because we think something is a weed it doesn’t mean it is. Therefore, we need to know the difference between weeds and wheat. Normally, weeds just take the nutrients without producing any fruit whereas wheat produces fruit which we consider beneficial for life. Of course, this leads us to the problem of defining what it means to produce fruits.

We live in a result oriented world or at least most of us do. I used to think of fruits as results. To be honest, this idea still lingers in me. However, Jesus did many things which did not produce results. For example, He healed many and cast out demons but it did not save him from being accused falsely and crucified. Jesus never did miracles to prove His divinity. He did them to bring abundant life to those who were ill and downtrodden. Since Jesus is our example, it would be wise for us to consider fruits as something we produce to make life more joyful and fulfilling, not just for ourselves but for life in general. Nothing does this better than Love. Wheat are people who bring love to others in this life. They bring joy and peace to this world just like our Lord did and is doing. Weeds just feed on this love and does not produce anything to make life more abundant. To the contrary, sometimes they make it unpleasant and dreadful. In our life experience, many of us have encountered weeds and wheat. However, not everything that appears to be like a weed is a weed. Therefore, we should not waste our time trying to identify which is which. This is not our duty. Jesus loved everyone the same and many of them turned against him. He did not try to distinguish the weeds from the wheat. He loved them all the same. He is our example to live our lives like wheat.

There are many homeless weeds in the streets. There are many homeless wheat too. Thankfully, it is not our task to discern who is who. I am just grateful that a boy who apparently seemed oblivious to our existence said that he missed our presence. A simple statement which gave us hope and renewed our spirit. Maybe Lucas is a wheat after all.

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow.’ Matthew 13:1-3

We just moved to a new place. We rented an apartment a little smaller than our previous one. As a result, not everything was coming with us. We had to give up some things and surprisingly it wasn’t too difficult a process. It was about time we freed ourselves of certain things in order to embrace new and possibly better ones. I suppose this is going to happen more and more in the future. As we grow older, we won’t be able to carry so much as when we were young. Many things will have to be given up and eventually they will all be gone. However, this is not the present concern, for now, we have some rearranging. The old things are going to find a new places to occupy in our new apartment.

We couldn’t find a proper place for our full length mirror. We decided to hang in the same place as in our previous apartment: in the hallway. This way we can take one last look at ourselves before we leave for the streets. After all who wants to go out of their house looking like a slob. However, there is something strangely symbolic too. It is there to remind us to look at ourselves first before we start looking at others. One thing is obvious though. When I look at myself in the mirror, I realize that I have changed a lot. I have more gray hairs and look much older than I feel. I don’t mind it and it wouldn’t matter if I did. I have no control over it. There has been some major changes in me spiritually, too. Our ministry has transformed us. I am happy to say this. After all, any spiritual endeavor is a venture to meet God and every encounter with God is transformative. I think I am beginning to have a better grasp of reality. This is important. We can only bear good fruits when we are grounded in reality.

Just as we were about to leave for the streets, we received a call from Daniel. For those who have accompanied us through the years, his name will be not unfamiliar. It will also not be a surprise when we say that he is definitely our favorite among the homeless youth. We have known him since he was ten. He just turned 20 a few weeks ago. We always had a strong connection with him. I would say that he is one of the sweetest homeless youth but not necessarily the wisest. He is an intelligent young man. However, intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing. In his teens, he spent some time in the juvenile detention but only on one occasion. This is quite rare for most of the children and teens. He did not commit any crime. He went into the public bathroom and two other teens went in after him with stolen items. Daniel came out and was arrested. Much later the victim said that he wasn’t the perpetrator and he was released after six months without any charges. Recently, he was arrested again. Unfortunately, this time he went to regular jail. His crime was his poor choice of companions. He spent three months in prison awaiting trial. Eventually he was absolved from all charges and released a week ago. We haven’t seen him for months. He told us that he was living with his twin sister and was going to figure out what do with his life. He wants to do something better with his life. It is a noble attempt and one in which we encouraged. The reality is that it is not going to be an easy task. In all likelihood, he will not to be able to do this on the first try even though he has good intentions. It will be a long journey. This is fine. Everything good takes time and patience. It is important he reached out to us. However, we did not say all this to him. He had something to say to us. He wanted us to know that he always treasured and loved us. It was completely unexpected. Nevertheless, it was something that we really needed to hear. We were worried that being in prison might have had a negative effect on Daniel. We have seen this happen many times among the other youth. They usually come out worse than when they entered. However, Daniel is a different kind of soil. He has shown over the years that there is much love in his heart. There are always good fruits flowing out of this young man despite the unfavorable situations.

Before we left the house, I took a good look at the mirror and asked myself, “what kind of soil am I?” Unlike Daniel, I have always been in a good and favorable environment for most parts of my life. Most of the time, I have been concerned about creating favorable situations rather than bearing good fruits. Of course, there has always been some confusion about the fruits. I was taught in my early years in the church that fruits were winning souls for Christ. Now, there is an older person in the mirror. I am mature enough to know that no one wins anyone over to Christ. Jesus calls them through the Spirit. The Only Person who is able to conquer the hearts and minds of people is the Holy Spirit. Therefore, what are the fruits which we are supposed to bear? There are tons of pat answers for this inquiry but the man in the mirror is old enough to know that there are no easy answers. However, the solution will not come if I keep staring at the mirror. It is time to leave the building.

We still can walk to where we meet the children and teens. The only difference is that now it is a forty minute walk. The exercise will be beneficial for us. Besides, it is an interesting walk but not necessarily a pleasant one. We have to pass some areas which remind us why we are here. There are crack addicts scattered around. Tons of homeless people and lots of unpleasant stenches. The addicts don’t bother anyone but they are still a disturbing and tragic sight. Usually it is hard to walk by the homeless adults without someone begging for money. It gets a little difficult because we feel like callous and hard hearted people when we refuse to give anything. However, on an average we pass about twenty people or more begging for money. It is enough to make anyone go broke. Besides some people just think of us as a bank machine. They forget that we are also human beings. The process of dehumanization is a two way street.

The homeless children and youth are not very different. I mentioned that there are about hundred to two hundred children and teens sleeping in the streets where we minister. However, most of them don’t treat people outside their own circles like human beings. Consequently, people who walk past the area treat the children like dangerous wild animals. There is a lot of dehumanizing going around. Perhaps, in this environment, it becomes clearer and more obvious what it means to bear fruit for the Kingdom of God. We have to figure out the kind of fruits which best reflect the true meaning of the Kingdom in the environment we find ourselves. It is quite pointless to listen to the preacher or theologian living thousands of miles away from our reality giving us their opinions on spiritual fruits. We have to figure it out in the reality we find ourselves. Maybe bearing fruits has to do with listening intently to the voice of the Holy Spirit. We can not afford to outsource this essential part of our spirituality. This is my opinion. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves.

We are still not accustomed to walking forty minutes to work. I mean it is not terrible but we do get a little tired when we get to our destination. We found a old familiar face which we haven’t seen for a long time where the kids hangout. His name is Wagner. He is an eccentric fellow. It is worth telling his story for another time. He is part of triplets and all of them have lived in the streets since their early childhood. Wagner is about 25 now. He stays more with the homeless adults than the teens. When he saw us, he shouted out aloud as if to announce to everyone; “After all these years they are still at it doing the same thing. What patience!!!” I will take it as a compliment. It could go the other way. Maybe he thinks that we are wasting our time. The other homeless adults smiled and gave us their nods of approval. However, I disagree with Wagner. It is not the same things exactly. The same people or group, perhaps, but it is always different. There is always something new to learn.

‘But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market-places and calling to one another, “We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.”
For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has a demon”; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!” Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.’ Matthew 11:16-19

I remember sitting at a dining table and listening to a group of older men talking about how the younger generation lacked good sense and values. They were talking about me. I was the younger generation then. I thought that their criticism was unjust and I was thinking about a few comebacks. However, I was brought up in an Asian culture where we were taught to be respectful to our elders. I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. Besides they were also paying for my dinner. If I had my chance, I would have said that the present generation was reaping the sins of the previous one. Now, I have switched sides. I did not know how but it just happened. Recently, I was talking with my friend about how the younger generation was lacking the values and virtues which our generation cherished so much. I guess that it is always easy to see the speck in someone’s eyes while ignoring the log sticking out of one’s own eyes. The reality is that no generation is virtuous nor depraved completely. However, in every generation the Eternal Light is present. Unfortunately, sometimes we can be so obsessed with our self-righteousness that we fail to recognize this Light altogether. As Christians, we are called to be different. Anyone can point out the ills of a generation but we need wisdom to recognize the presence of the Light of the World in all times and seasons.

Just this week I was challenged with an interesting question. It was from a friend who identifies himself as a non-Christian but is constantly haunted by his Christian upbringing. These are his words. I have to say that it is a very original way of describing oneself. He elaborated that he found his religious upbringing to be one which was oppressive and which he gladly rejected. However, he finds himself drawn to Christians who lived their lives radically in their evangelical vocation. His personal heroes are John Wesley and the Christian philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard. His question was how and why the person of Jesus was universally relevant for all times and peoples. It was a sincere enquiry and he was really asking this in relation to our ministry. He wanted to know why I thought Jesus was relevant to the lives of our homeless children and teens. In reality, the question is one that every Christian needs to consider before engaging any evangelistic endeavor.

Frankly speaking, I never heard a question framed this way before. I needed time to construct an appropriate answer when one of my friends who was listening blurted out the best possible answer. This particular friend had identified himself as agnostic until recently. He struggled for a long time with the doctrines and practices of the church of his upbringing. For a long period, he confused God with the doctrinal image of his particular religious denomination. During his wanderings in his own spiritual desert, he reencountered Jesus. He responded that the person of Jesus is the one who helps him understand God’s living presence in this world. There was a time when he just understood the doctrines about Jesus but his rereading of the gospels helped him encounter there the person of Jesus in the lives of people living according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I have to admit that his answer was better than any I could have offered. Mainly because when I met him ten years ago, he was bordering on becoming a full fledged atheist but now he is defending the universal relevance of Jesus. I just had one thing to add, “This is why I am in the streets with the homeless children and teens. I want to see Jesus in a real and personal way.”

Every ministry whether it is serving food at the soup kitchen or visiting a homebound friend or neighbor or a ministry like ours among the homeless is an opportunity for us to meet the living Christ. More than an opportunity, this is the primary motivation for us to engage in these ministries. This is perhaps what separates Christian ministry and good works. There is nothing wrong with people who do good works. We need them and we should laud them for their dedication. However, there is something more sacramental in Christian ministry. It flows out of our liturgical experience at the Lord’s table. Since I am an Anglican priest, I will write as one. In our tradition, we refrain from defining how He manifests Himself in our worship. The central focus is our assurance in His words that when two or three are gathered, He is present. This faith-induced confidence compels us to go out into the world and identify Jesus in our midst. It is the source of our wisdom. The world can see problems and despair clearly. However, we have the Light of Christ in us and He helps us to identify and testify His presence in this world. I, very much like the older people in my past, acted like the rest of the world. I was impressed with the darkness. However, my faith compels me to seek the One who is present and alive in all periods of history. There is no generation void of His living presence despite all the problems and difficulties they bear. Unfortunately, we have eyes but sometimes we don’t see and ears but sometimes we don’t hear. Thankfully, every Sunday, at His table, the Healer of our souls can and will open our eyes and ears to see His everlasting Grace living and active in this world.

We had a slow week in the streets. There is lots of police action. The local governor wants to clean up the center so that the tourists can return. We have seen this movie before. There is active police presence and then it slowly diminishes and the center is abandoned. It sounds cynical on my part. Unfortunately, this has been happening for the past thirty years. As Albert Einstein once wisely stated,

“We can’t expect things to change, if we continue doing the same things.”

There were moments where it seemed like there were more police than civilians in the streets. In Brazil, we have wide array of police; municipal guards, military police, special forces police…they were all there. Consequently, all our children and teens have disappeared. They are not gone but in hiding. We saw one or two who were brave enough to venture out. We stayed where we always meet them. We don’t know where they are but it is important that they know where they can find us. We had a slow day yesterday where we hardly saw anyone. On our way home, a man called out to us. At first we thought perhaps he was going to ask for directions. Instead, he just wanted to talk. He worked in the local district attorney office. He commented that he had seen us for years working with the children and teens and always wanted to get to know us. He asked if we were part of some social agency. I said that we were with the Anglican Church and our purpose is to be a spiritual presence among the children. Before I could elaborate further, he interrupted and said that he was not a Christian but he always admired the things we did with the homeless youth. He is also an artist and hoped that maybe one day he could share with us his artistic work in relation with the homeless children. He kept repeating that he has seen us for years and always desired to have contact with us.

We thought that our day was uneventful but in the least expected way, Jesus showed Himself to us through this man. Even when nothing apparently happens, something also occurs when our actions spring forth from a desire to meet the living Christ.

“He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.” Matthew 10:40

I have never seen a tiny baby with so many tubes going in and coming out of his body. He is almost a year old but he still looks like a premature baby. Perhaps it is a lack of nutrition. His mother looks anaemic too. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with her and not just physically. She is the quietest of the three daughters. I do not believe she ever said a word to me. I thought that there was something wrong with her mentally and I am still not sure. Maybe it is because she has spent almost her whole life sleeping in the streets like her mother, the baby’s grandmother. She was the one who called us about Robert. She wanted us to visit him in the intensive care.

I asked the grandmother to join me in prayer. The baby heard my voice and opened his tiny eyes. He looked around and then made a distressed face before bursting out crying. However, it was completely silent. His grandmother explained that was because of the tubes. This is little Robert’s harsh introduction to life. I wish I could say that life is going to get better. It will in a small way for now. The doctor said that he was recovering and in a day or so he will be out of intensive care. Unfortunately, the sad truth is life will always be tough for little Robert. I prayed that God will help the little baby to understand that he is much loved and not alone.

His mother wasn’t in the room. She had stayed in the hospital two days straight and now it was his grandmother’s turn and then his aunt will take over. They have everything arranged. They are very organized when it comes to taking care of the children. This family alone has 6 children under five and all the mothers are under twenty one. There was a time when all of them slept in tents in the streets; all three generations in big one tent sleeping in the cold and dangerous streets. We actually helped them to buy the tent. It was the best option then. Now, they found a small room. There are several homeless youths who have done this. Recently, the government is giving aid to these families. It is not much. Maybe about two weeks grocery money. Some of the homeless youth and families now are taking advantage of this and trying to rent small rooms in the city center. Our ministry is developing in this sense. We now make home visits to these young people. The rent for these rooms are exorbitantly high and, of course, highly unjust. The rooms are tiny cubicles in an old house which should have been condemned ten years ago. To make matters worse, most of them do not have bathrooms and they share a communal one. The ones with this facility do not have heated showers and we are facing a cold winter right now. They have been forced to take cold showers. Most people except for the rich do not have running hot water. We do not have any in our apartment. Most people have electric shower heads which churn out some sort of hot water to make showering bearable in these cold months. The whole system can seem a little nerve wrecking for those who are not accustomed to it. It is like a electrocution waiting to happen. For us, this is just normal now. These showers are not cheap. Robert’s family could not afford one and consequently have been taking cold showers. We help them with part of the rent. Initially the grandmother was a little hesitant to ask for our help to buy a electric shower head. She did not want us to think that she is taking advantage of us. Robert became ill during the cold weather and I am assuming the cold water baths did not help. We made sure that they had what they needed. One of the youths who used to live in the streets is quite handy with installing them. He is one of the homeless youths who is holding a steady job but even then he can not afford to pay rent. Therefore, he still sleeps in a tent in the streets while working a 9 to 5 job. Sometimes he drops in on this family with some groceries and they feed him.

Robert would not stop crying. He was afraid and suffering. All I could do is to gently pat his soft tiny head and speak softly to him. He heard our voices and then calmed down. He just needed to know that he was not alone. This is the best we could do for him and not only him but for his whole family. Of course we could give a lot of unsolicited advice. We could tell them to have less children or have a better home or any other things that might be running through many people’s minds. It is easier when you are separated from the reality of these lives to solve problems. However, this family and the rest of the youth in their situation are not problems. They are people and they have invited us into their lives. We can see that life offers very little for them. Even so, they do not complain nor ask for much. The grandmother informed us that Maria, another homeless youth has given birth to a baby boy. We have known Maria and her brother, João, since 2013. They were young teenagers then and now she is a mother. She had no where to go and they have opened their home to her. We have no idea how they are able to squeeze so many people into such a tiny space. Besides the two single bed, they also have a stove and a sink.

Visiting hours in the ICU are limited to 30 minutes per day for non family members. We did not need all that time. It is a baby. There is not much one can say to an infant in agony. The grandmother accompanied us out and she apologized for asking us to help with the shower head. She said that we were the only ones she knew who would help. Although this sounds really good for our ego, it is not entirely true. I am sure that they can find a way. However, it reveals something deeper and special. They have received us. We are part of their family structure. They know that we will not make judgments on them. They have enough of that in this life. They need someone to help them know that they are not alone in this world. They need to know that even though their future seems bleak and even hopeless, God always sends someone to remind them that they are His children, too. With His Light they will find a way out of this darkness.

As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him. And as he sat at dinner in the house, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ But when he heard this, he said, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’ Matthew 9: 9-13

According to the legends, before Siddhartha became Buddha, he lived a secluded but lavish life within the royal court. His family made sure he lacked nothing and it was their hope that all the luxury and stability of a comfortable life would keep him spiritually shackled within the boundaries of the palace. Obviously, they underestimated Siddhartha’s desire for freedom and knowledge of the Truth. He wanted to know what was held from him beyond the gates of his royal abode. One day he sneaked out and discovered a world of pain and suffering. He saw lepers covered with sores from head to toe, starving families, abandoned children, pain and death lurking at every corner. Understandably, he was overwhelmed by everything he saw. His eyes were opened and he could not return to his previous life. Besides his soul was moved to compassion. He had to discover why such painful suffering existed. He decided to find the cure for it. He rejected the traditional answer to this question because it did not bring healing. In Buddha’s time, the reverent argument was that these people were paying for the sins they committed in their previous existence. He renounced his luxurious existence and decided to live in the midst of the common people. He wanted to be close to their pain and suffering in order to discover the answer. This is how Siddhartha was transformed into Buddha.

I share this story not as an expert in Buddhism. I have my plate full with the mysteries of the Christian faith so that I hardly have time to delve deep into other religions. I learned about Buddha from a very young age. I grew up in a country where the majority were nominal Buddhists or atheists or maybe both. The story of Buddha left a mark in my life. It is the kind of story one finds in different forms in almost all the major religions. A sheltered and privileged individual leaves his secure life behind to live among those whom society has labeled as “sinners” or “outcasts”. They did not do it to do charitable work. They did it in search of answers for deep spiritual questions. In our Christian tradition, we have ample examples of saints who have done this. Unfortunately, we tend to put them on pedestals and pretend that they were some sort of super holy people who were able to fulfill amazing things beyond the capacity of your everyday person. This piety is a facade to mask a fear. We are afraid that we might need to follow in their footsteps to achieve a deeper understanding of our faith. We want our spirituality to be comfortable. The Pharisees also liked things to be comfortable. This is why they confronted Jesus who was messing up everything.

It would be a mistake to think of the Pharisees as people who were void of sympathy or compassion. The Pharisees were known for their charitable works. According to Jesus, they even made a show of it. Jesus was doing something different which disturbed them. In most charitable works then and now, there exists a separation or a divide which still prevails between the giver and the one who receives. Jesus went above and beyond what was considered to be charitable works. He conquered the artificial divide between the “righteous” and the “sinners”. The Pharisees found it disturbing that Jesus dined with the “sinners”.

In Jesus’ time, sharing a meal was an intimate affair which lasted for days. Back then, no one went to a person’s house for a meal for a couple of hours. In fact, it was considered rude to stay for a short time. The host usually was prepared to entertain the guests until they were ready to leave. Consequently people only dined with those with whom they wanted to associate with for days on end. For the Pharisees, these “sinners” had nothing noteworthy to offer to the righteous. Besides, it was an abomination for someone like Jesus to be unequally yoked with these people. Their arguments are still used today perhaps in more sophisticated ways. Jesus answered them that the Son of Man came to seek those who needed healing. The gospel is not a message of condemnation but healing; of course, no one in their right mind would disagree with this. However, the problem lies in how we go about this. There are some who believe that the way to healing is by first reminding people of their condemnation. This is not our Lord’s way. He chose to dine with them instead.

As Christians, we believe that Jesus is God Incarnate. Buddha sought answers but we are convinced that Jesus is the Christ which means He is the universal answer to the deep questions of faith which humanity harbors. This God Incarnate spent His time among those whom society considered to be “sinners”. He welcomed them and loved them. He never once called them “sinners”. It was the religious authorities and those who believed themselves to be righteous who did this. However, Jesus did recognize sin in them but the difference was that He recognized them in order to heal and not condemn.

Some people say that we do not preach enough about sin and hell in the Anglican tradition. Maybe this is true but I think there is enough of this going around making it unnecessary for us to join in the chorus. There is much condemnation spouted out in different forms in both religious and non-religious circles. Everyone wants to point out the problems but few are willing to be agents of healing. Jesus recognized the problems in order to heal. The Pharisees recognized sinners to separate and isolate themselves from them. Jesus the God Incarnate chose to dine with people who were cast aside. This is not an incentive for us to do charity work; instead, He wants us to heal the divide separating us.

God wants to reconcile those who are separated. Therefore He is not actively present among the “righteous” who like to keep things as they are but He is among the so-called sinners. Obviously God is everywhere but in some places people are too busy doing their own thing to notice His presence. The Pharisees and the religious authorities of Jesus’ time were so absorbed in their religious duties that they failed to recognize the Christ. The ‘sinners” on the other hand could not afford to hide their sins anymore which put them in a good place to receive healing.

In the past, saints have to leave everything to follow in the footsteps of our Lord, abandoning their families and wealth to bring healing to the world. They lived in a different time where the social divide was such that people were completely isolated from each other. We live in a different world today. Modern society, despite its problems, has overcome some of the distance between people. I mean we can come in contact a great variety of people in many social places. We do not need to leave our neighborhood or country to meet someone who needs healing. They are present where we are. There is one only thing that is essential and we have to make effort to do it. We need to be available to the Holy Spirit. Being available means deciding to open oneself up to the possibility of being an agent of healing. We do not need special skills or training. We just need to be available. Jesus dined with the sinners. He did not lecture them but He just was with them. They did not belong to his social circle. They were tax collectors. They had a bad reputation and most likely they earned it. However, this did not hinder our Lord from being available to them.

In our ministry, even though we minister to homeless youth, we have created our own comfortable social bubble among the children. We tend to stick with the children and teens whom we like and have a strong affections for. However, the process of becoming an agent of healing requires us to step out of our comfortable circles and reach out to those whom we avoid sometimes. More often than not, the people who need healing can be quite difficult and frustrating. I can name a few we met this week but I am running out space here. I leave the story of Nelson for another time. However, one thing is for sure. When we choose to become agents of healing, we are always the first to be healed. This is why Buddha left everything behind so easily. He knew that his healing would be found in the answer behind all the pain and suffering in this world. In the same manner, Jesus invites to discover the healing for our souls which the gospel promises by becoming agents of healing ourselves.

On the last day of the festival, the great day, while Jesus was standing there, he cried out, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink. As the scripture has said, “Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.”’ Now he said this about the Spirit, which believers in him were to receive; for as yet there was no Spirit, because Jesus was not yet glorified. John 7:37-39

The Feast of Pentecost is upon us again. However, there was another feast day preceding it which has lost its prominence in the modern church. Well, some churches observe it like my very first home church in Singapore but only because of its namesake. Curiously, the only country I have lived in where the feast day of Ascension was celebrated as a public religious holiday was Indonesia, a country with the largest Muslim population in the world. Muslims believe that Jesus ascended to the heavens, too. I am ignorant of the theological significance of this event for the Islamic faith but I do not suppose that it is for the same reason as for the early Christians. Jesus, in Islam, is considered a highly esteemed prophet. For Christians, the Ascension of our Lord has everything to do with the establishing of His Kingdom.

I was born and raised in Singapore, a multicultural and multireligous country. My family belonged to the Roman Catholic community which was the smallest minority at that time, less than 2 percent of the population. The predominant culture in our society was Chinese with a strong Confucian influence. In school, we were taught about the ancient history of China; the building of the Great Wall and all the empires which rose and fell within these walls. Most of these remained as a vague memory except for the concept of an Emperor which the ancient Chinese held. Maybe because it is relevant to my reading and interpreting of the Bible. They called him (it was mostly a “him”), “the Son of Heaven”. It was a lofty title. The ancient Chinese were ambitious people. They believed that their king was not just a king limited to their geographic location but his kingdom expanded wherever the heavens presided over the earth. Consequently, his actions and philosophy of life were applicable for all peoples. However, only those who were enlightened could appreciate and worship the “son of heaven”. Those who were blind to this fact were considered subhumans. We find this same attitude present in the ancient Babylonians, Greeks and Romans. Every empire craved universal dominance. They knew that true power and eternal influence rested on the one who could possess the heavens or at least claim ownership of them. It is the same old story of the Tower of Babel. Each time the results are the same, more division and strife among peoples. Unfortunately, it continues to our present time.

Jesus did not conquer heaven nor lay any special claims to it. It welcomed and enthroned Him. In other words, according to our faith, it is the rightful place for Him. He is not a King of one particular nation or people. He is not the property of any sect or religion. He is the crowned King of Kings in the Heavens. His kingdom is universal wherever the heavens preside over the earth. However, not everyone is able to see nor recognize His reign. There were still barriers and obstacles due to centuries of the hatred and strife which has dominated the hearts and minds of humanity. They cannot comprehend a Kingdom which does not work in these foundations of discord. It is so foreign to our human mindset and we need someone who understands the mind of God to reconcile us to this Truth.

It is common practice in many churches to celebrate the Feast of Pentecost by reading the gospel reading in many different languages. Depending on the number of speakers of different languages in the congregation, this could be either a beautiful or a tedious event. Nevertheless, we can agree that the general idea is lovely. It reveals how our faith can unite people of many different cultures under one roof to worship the King of Kings. However, the greatest division among people today is not based on language but on social and religious differences.

In many ways our social status influences our cultural formation as well as our worldview. Even our interpretation of the Bible or any religious text are deeply influenced by it. Sometimes we add the word “Christian” to these values to sanction them and even make them sound as if they are aligned with the values of God’s Kingdom. Jesus Himself warned us that many will say, “Lord, Lord” but they are not part of His flock. Therefore, before we can think about being instruments of the Reconciliation we have to allow the Holy Spirit to operate in our lives and remove our own prejudices and preferences which are not on par with the Kingdom of Heaven.

When the disciples started speaking in different languages on the day of Pentecost, they realized that the Hebrew language did not have precedence nor dominance of all things Holy. It must have been a very difficult thing for them to accept that God’s divine presence is manifested in all languages and cultures. This demanded a radical change in their attitudes and it was a necessary one in order for them to become truly messengers of abundant life to the world. In the same way, for today’s world, we need to acknowledge that the abundant life which the gospel promises is not restricted to our idea of a successful or holy life. We have to acknowledge that we have a very limited way of looking at things. The Kingdom of Heaven is larger and wealthier than our finite mind can comprehend. Therefore, we need someone who understands the wealth and breadth of this Kingdom to guide and orientate us. No one can fulfill this task except for the Holy Spirit. The problem is that Holy Spirit does not act on demand. We have to wait for the Spirit. Jesus said,

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. John 3:8

All we can do is to wait and have confidence that the Spirit of Jesus will come and act at the most pertinent time. Part of the waiting involves the willingness to leave our prejudices behind and allow the Spirit to show us God’s love present in ways which we never had imagined before.

We recently received an invitation to a birthday party. Taina’s baby is turning one. It is her third child and she had just turned 21. She is also a first generation homeless youth. Her children are with her and they are second generation homeless. Taina tried living as a squatter in an abandoned building. However, all she knows is life in the streets and spends most of the day and night in the streets with the children. Recently, she was forced out of the abandoned building and spent months living in a tent with all the children. Eventually she found a room to rent with her mother. Her mother is Patricia who I wrote about not too long ago. All these things about Taina are disturbing to our middle class sentiments. However, the Holy Spirit did not bring us here to be middle class missionaries. We are here because of the Kingdom of Heaven and Taina is a sheep of Jesus’ flock. It took a lot of waiting on our part to finally see the person in Taina and not just all the problematic issues surrounding her. The Holy Spirit is helping us to discern with wisdom that Taina is giving us a beautiful gift by asking us to celebrate her child’s life. The only thing she wanted was for us to take pictures of the baby. She wants to have pictures of her child before he grows up ever so quickly. She told us that the party was just a small affair among family members. She has included us in the mix. The divide is overcome. We have known Taina for a long time. We did not have this kind of friendship with her before. She is a very shy girl and perhaps she was afraid that we might judge her for her being a mother at such a young age. Now, she feels free to talk with us. She knows that we see her as an individual with all of life’s complexities and she returns the favor. Now, we can move forward together to discover the Kingdom of Heaven present in our midst.

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. John 17:1-5

We met him when he was only nine years old. I can hardly believe that was ten years ago. He never was a happy child. This was not because he was homeless. Unfortunately, there are many children like him but they are usually happy. Vinicius belongs to a growing number of children who are first generation homeless. In other words, he was born homeless and has slept in the streets all his life. The only time he slept within four walls was in the juvenile detention center but I am jumping ahead of myself here. The fortunate thing about most of these children is that they are unaware of their dire situation. Most of the time, they live a happy and carefree life but not Vinicius. It could be due to early childhood depression. I am not qualified to make that call. I am just guessing. I do not think even he could tell us why. We tried to get him out of his shell but were never quite successful. The only thing we managed to do was convince him to play badminton. It wasn’t exactly the best option. It’s an individual sport even though played in pairs. It lacks the personal interaction which Vinicius needed. I don’t recall him exchanging a word with us throughout that time. I am not sure if he ever thanked us for anything. It wasn’t that he was rude. He just never learned any of these things. Besides, saying thanks in the streets sometimes can be a degrading and humiliating thing for the homeless. It reminds them of their demeaning situation.

His mother, from our perspective, displays signs of someone who has serious mental issues. Despite her setbacks, she does her best for her children. Working with the homeless made us realize that our ideas of how to raise a family are not universally applicable. The homeless have families and their reality is completely different from our middle class background. The things we think are proper and right may not work in their reality. Suffice it to say that Vinicius’ mother does her best like any mother does. The problem is that she has limited resources and she shouldn’t be judged for this. For us, this is a learning process; not to judge, that is. There are some things we only learn when we are directly involved in the lives of people.

She spends most of her time begging so that she could feed the family. They receive financial aid from the government which is only enough for a week’s groceries at the most dubious looking grocery stores. Besides Vinicius, she has four other younger girls. Vinicius is the oldest and he was a sister close to his age who is a “little person”. Someone in her condition is very rare among the homeless children. As we know, children can be very cruel and our homeless children are not any different. From a young age, Vinicius has been a support to his sister. We watched these two siblings grow up from a distance. Their mother tried to keep all her children together. She was successful with the youngest three. Vinicius and Ana Paula got lost among the rest of the homeless children. He started sniffing paint thinner and then eventually graduated to harder drugs. It didn’t take long for him to engage in crime. Throughout this time, he hardly interacted with us. It was as if he forgotten all the time we spent with him when he was a child.

Then one day he got caught for stealing and landed up in the juvenile detention center. His crime was petty theft and he was imprisoned for just a couple of months. During the worst period of the quarantine, I was in the streets with the teens and heard someone called out my name. I could hardly recognize him at first. He looked older and had put on some weight. He shook my hand and said that he was just released from the detention center. He did not say anything else. I don’t know why he decided to acknowledge my presence after all these years ignoring us. Maybe he realized that we were a permanent and stable presence in his life. Ever since that day, he would come to us and shake our hands but never would spend time with us. He still had a sad demeanor.

I am not really sure but I think the first time I saw him smile was when we played a game of Uno recently. It happened a few months ago. He and his sister approached me and asked if they could play a game together. They suggested Uno. As we were playing, they reminded me that we used to play together when they were young. I was surprised that they remembered. They lost almost every hand but didn’t mind it. They were having a good time and laughed each time I played the winning card. For the first time in years, I saw them behaving like happy children but they are young adults now. It took us almost ten years to see these young people smile. Something else happened that day. A barrier was overcome. They remembered who we are and what role we played in their lives. To be frank, we are not sure what it is exactly but Vinicius and his sister decided that it was a relevant one.

Ever since this blessed day, Vinicius talks with us. Sometimes he insists on playing a game. He has a girlfriend now. She is just like him, a first generation homeless teen. Recently they got into an argument and Vinicius hit her. We noticed a bruise on her face. She told us at first that she had a fall but we knew that she was lying. The other teens told her to tell us the truth. They said that we would understand. Vinicius admitted that it was him. We were a little disturbed. We waited for a few days before approaching the subject. I thought about Vinicius a lot that particular day. Both he and his girlfriend grew up in the streets where violence is the norm. Every thing is done and achieved through violence. The police are violent. Those involved in crime are violent. The kids establish their space among each other through violence. His mother used violence to discipline him. It was the only language he knew. Few days later, we saw them again and he wanted to play a game with us. He and his girlfriend were obviously reconciled as they were very affectionate with each other. After our game, we called Vinicius and his girlfriend aside and told him that he shouldn’t use violence against anyone especially with people whom he loved. We could see that both of them were listening intently. I explained that you drive people away from you when you use violence. He assured us that he understood and I believe him. He knew that what we were saying was true because he felt it in his soul, too. After this talk, our relationship got even better. Now, Vinicius and his girlfriend go out of their way to talk to us. They know that we like them and the truth is we are very proud of our relationship with them. It is as if we received a special gift from God.

I always found the above gospel text hard to interpret for our daily lives. The best I could do was to resort to doctrinal interpretation. However, our interaction with Vinicius and his sister and even his girlfriend whose name is Isabel shed valuable light on these verses. Jesus came to show us eternal life. These are moments where we sense God’s eternal love working and manifesting itself in our midst. Jesus is the incarnated expression of this Love. He is our guide to identify Gods love in this world. It is not an idea nor a concept. It is something concrete which can be grasped with our whole being. Our relationship with these young people has opened our eyes to see Jesus present in our midst. However, not in the usual way. Sometimes, I have said this too, people say that we see Jesus in the person. We have seen Vinicius at his best and worst. Therefore, it is hard to say that we see Jesus manifested in his life. However, we can safely say that when we are together, we sense the sacramental presence in a real and concrete manner in our midst. He becomes real beyond words and He brings hope to our hearts. His presence transforms us and makes us become more open to power of Eternal Love.

We seriously never thought that this sad and distant boy would become dear and precious to us. Now we enjoy seeing him. He smiles when he sees us. Joy has taken root and is growing in him. I have to say all this has convinced me beyond the shadow of doubt that the Holy Spirit will open our eyes to see the presence of Jesus even when everything around us appears hopeless. The glory of Christ can never be snuffed out in this world.

‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.’ Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.’ -John 14:1-7

It was a visit long overdue. Patricia had invited us to her new home several months ago. Unfortunately, things have been a little hectic. We are being priced out of our apartment. Now, we are in the process of looking for a new place. It is a little complicated. We live in a region known as the old center or rather the “historic center”. It used to be called the “mouth of the trash”. There are many brothels and all other elements giving this place the undesirable seedy character. Once this area was where the wealthy coffee barons built their mansions. They are still here but in various degrees of deterioration. It could have been a beautiful historic center if it wasn’t abandoned for decades. Today, it is a place where the majority of the largest homeless population of the Americas is found. We would like to find an apartment which is affordable and safe. Many times it is one or the other. We chose to live here because we can walk to where the children are and it saves us a lot of time. As of now, our free time and energy is taken up looking for the ideal place within the context of our reality. Today, however, was a public holiday. It gave us the chance to do something outside our normal time with the children and youth in the streets. It was time to visit Patricia but first I have to introduce her.

Patricia was 13 when we first came to the streets. I don’t mean in 2013 but in 1994. Then there were about four to five hundred homeless children and teens living in the streets. Therefore, it was not possible for us to remember every child or teen we met then. In her case, I don’t believe we ever met her. Now, she is forty and a grandmother. Unfortunately, she never left the streets all these years. Her children are first generation homeless children who never knew what it is like to live and grow up in a house. They also have children of their own. The grandchildren are all under the age of five. We have seen Patricia around for a long time but we hardly spoke to her. To be honest, we were a little suspicious of her. We thought that she was exploiting her children. Our first contact with her was when she approached and asked us to pray for her grandchild, Perola, who was a premature baby and in intensive care. Our relationship slowly progressed from henceforth.

She is actually a very simple person. She does not lack intelligence but she has developed intellectual skills which may not be applicable anywhere else in society except in the homeless situation. We realized that our initial assessment of her was completely wrong. Patricia loves all her children and grandchildren dearly and gives them the best she has. Today, she is one of our closest friends among the homeless. Patricia is considered to be part of the children and youth because her children and grandchildren are part of the homeless youth. She never leaves her children alone. She is always with them and whenever one of the toddlers does something mischievous, we can hear her booming voice yelling out their names and they immediately stop what they were doing. It is quite amusing. Even though their situation is far from perfect no one can deny the strong bond of love between them. Ever since our relationship with her improved, her grandchildren accepted us as some of the people who are part of their complex family structure.

Patricia slept in a tent in the streets with all her children and grandchildren. It was amazing to see how many people they could squeeze into a tent. However, she wanted to rent a small place but she faced the some of the same issues as us. However, it was much worse for her. She could never rent a place like us even if she had the money. There are absurd requirements. In the best scenario, the renters are expected to give three months rent as a deposit and are also expected to pay the annual property tax on the rental. The best Patricia can do is rent a small room which she did. She found a small space about 100 square foot and she is paying double of what we pay per square foot. This is the cruel reality here. The poorest of the poor are too poor to be poor. Patricia receives help from the government. However, it barely pays for the grocery. She pays two thirds of her rent and we have the means to help with the rest. She still resorts to begging to survive the rest of the month. She has a lot of mouths to feed. None of this stopped her from inviting us to her house. She wanted us to have a cup of coffee in her home. She told her us that she was going to stay at home and clean up the place and send someone to meet us and take us to her place. Eric was our designated guide.

Eric is a delightful fellow. He just turned 18. We have known him since he was eight and he was a nightmare then. No one would have guessed that this terror of a child would become such a nice kid. He showed us the way to her place. It wasn’t far. On the way, Eric told us that he has been sleeping at Patricia’s too. Her place was a tiny room with walls that should have been painted decades ago. There was a part closed off with a flimsy curtain. I guess that it was the entrance to the bathroom. Patricia managed to squeeze in two beds, a stove and there was a sink filled with unwashed dishes. They wash the dishes as they are needed them because there is no place to store the clean ones. Every corner was used as storage for clothes or dry groceries. On one of the two beds, there were two teenagers sleeping. One was Vinicius. He is not related to Patricia but he is a first generation homeless youth. We have known him since he was nine. He recently turned 19. He was taking a nap. Next to him was Dreyson who is not related as well. Then on the other bed was Patricia’s daughter, Taina, and another non-relative named Isabel who is just 16 and another first generation homeless girl. There were the two toddlers rushing to us for attention and a seven year old. I asked Patricia where do they all sleep at night. Taina said that they have cushions and some of them sleep on the floor. Patricia said sometimes the other kids would come at night and find a tiny spot to squeeze in. Her tiny room which barely fits a double bed has more children and teens sleeping per square feet than any homeless shelter in this city.

The coffee was good. Eric made it. However, they only had two good cups. We had to take turns drinking it. In another time, all this would have overwhelmed us. However, something has changed. We were able to see from Patricia’s perspective. This was something great for her. It gave her great pleasure that she could invite us to her place. We visited with them for an hour or so. Patricia said that her dream was to live in a place with two rooms (not bedrooms, just two rooms) and a proper bathroom. This was quite amazing to hear. In a way, we are looking for the same thing but our concept of an ideal home is completely different. We come from two different worlds and we have learned how to survive with has been dished out to us. Patricias’ life has been hard but she has acquired some virtues in the process. Every space in her tiny room is open to receive guests. For her, happiness is not having ample space but is being able to be hospitable. I don’t want to romanticize her situation. The lack of privacy is draining on her too. She said that she goes to bed very late maybe about four in the morning. One can imagine that the only way one can sleep in such a tiny and crowded space is to be so exhausted that comfort is no longer an issue. I sat there thinking how Patricia would have imagined the room which Jesus said He was preparing for his disciples. It is definitely different from what we imagine.

We went home feeling a little happy. It is another strange sign. Some years ago, we would so focused on the housing situation that we would have failed to share Patricia’s joy in having a place of her own. Now, we are able to be truly happy for her without romanticizing her situation. It was a great visit. She walked us to the door as we left because it is a custom here if you want the guest to return. We plan to return in a couple of weeks. There is a lot we can learn from Patricia. Being homeless has helped her develop virtues that might be difficult for us to acquire. There were things which we have learned from life that will be valuable for her. We have something to give to each other. Together, we can help prepare each other to be members of the household of Jesus.

After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth. When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost. John 19:28-30

I had a strange dream. By default, all dreams are odd. Even if we dreamed about doing something simple and plain like eating potato soup, it would be considered bizarre to dream about such a mundane thing. At any rate, mine was pertinent to my situation at that time. However, I mistakenly thought that it was restricted to that moment. I was in a car and before I could turn on the ignition key, I noticed that the glove compartment was broken. I tried to fix it and then I heard a loud crack coming from my seat. I tried to open the door to see what was wrong with the seat from the outside. Unfortunately, the door handle broke. Each time I tried to resolve something another problem came up. Eventually everything was started falling apart and I woke up and realized that it was the reality of the situation I was living. It was too broken to be fixed. I thought that the solution was to abandon everything and move to another place which I did. It did not take long for me to realize that the broken car was waiting for me in the other place, too.

The disciples watched as their hopes and dreams were being slowly ripped away from them. Finally, they found a leader in Jesus who understood the struggles and language of the everyday simple folks. He was truly the Good Shepherd who the people had yearned for and needed. He did not speak to them from a powerful position. He was one of them. Most importantly, He wasn’t a mere revolutionary idealist. He had the power to turn water into wine. They knew that if anyone could fix this world, it was this Man. Then, everything fell apart. The world was too broken to be fixed. The very people whom Jesus loved and healed put Him on the Cross. The religious authorities who were supposed to prepare the people for His coming were instrumental in his demise. The civil authorities which were supposed to maintain Law and Order sanctioned this grave act of injustice and provided all the necessary means to execute it. The disciples stood there in despair thinking that there is nothing to be done anymore. They were right. It was a hopeless situation. Their Only Hope hung on the Cross and gave up His spirit. The world is too broken to be fixed. There is no refuge from this devastating situation. We cannot flee from it. We cannot succumb to the temptations of the idealist and say that we can build a better world, a utopia in this world. If Jesus could not do it, then no one can. We cannot succumb to temptation of the realist and throw up our arms and say, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” Jesus was a realist. He knew exactly that all this was going to lead Him to the Cross but He never gave in to despair despite knowing the situation was hopeless. Jesus had these last three words to say to us, “It is finished.” I read these words to our homeless teens once and one of them asked, “what is finished?” It is a good question. One which I had not pondered seriously until that moment. I have taken refuge in doctrinal interpretations in the past but they would not provide a satisfactory answer for our homeless children. If I said, “He paid for all our sins.”, they would have shrugged their shoulders and gone on with their lives like millions of people around the world who profess to be followers of our Lord. However, these words impacted a centurion who was a seasoned soldier accustomed to using violence to implement the will of the government. He confessed, “Truly this was God’s son.”

There was something powerful in His final words. They were not words of resignation but triumph, perhaps recognizable only to those grasped by the power and love of the Christ. These are the ones who understand the words of Jesus when He said,

“For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:20-21

In these introductory words of the gospel, a profound truth is expressed which was manifested on the Cross. Truth is not a theory nor an idea nor a doctrine. It is something manifested in our daily and practical lives. If a so-called Truth is not doable or livable, then it is a lie. Jesus lived the Truth from the moment He was born. This alone qualifies Him to be recognized as the Christ. Otherwise, His claims about Himself can be considered as arrogant or bordering lunacy. However, the Light of the Truth shone so clearly through His life even the greatest enemy of the Church such as Nietzsche could only say admirable things about Jesus. However, there are many who want to follow a theoretical truth but continue to live their lives in practice in the darkness of the lies. For these, the final words of Jesus are meaningless. They might even try to reduce them to a doctrinal idea or some other insipid concept which bears minimal implication to their daily lives. However, there are those who would find hope in these words even when they find themselves in situations devoid of hope.

Recently, I listened to an activist who tirelessly fights for a very noble cause. Unfortunately, it was something which is hopeless in a sense. She is not religious by any means and therefore, she can not take refuge in the idea of the religious merits for her activities. However, unintentionally, she gave the most appropriate religious response for her reasons for persevering in her fight. She said that there is something within her which impels her to continue to live out the Truth. She could not do anything else than live in accordance to this Truth which has grasped her soul. She would have understood that the final words of Jesus were a triumphant cry of victory. Jesus overcame the temptations to succumb to the standards of the world. Beginning with the betrayal of Judas, then with Peter’s attempt to resist with the sword and being confronted with the lies and deceit of the religious authorities. Jesus did not at any given moment deny the Truth which impelled Him to be the Light of this world. On the Cross, He said the triumphant words, “It is finished!” These words are foolishness to those who live their lives in the ways of the darkness. However, for those who hunger and thirst after the Truth, they are words of power. They are words which prove to us that it is possible to live our lives to the fullest in a world prone to hopeless and despair. Jesus has paved the way. He has opened the doors to live a new life in this broken world. He has completed His task. He has given us an example. He has shown us that even in the darkest moment of our lives, Light will fulfill its given task. Nothing can stop Light from completing its task and pronouncing the final victory by saying, “It is Finished.”