adoption

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Becoming part of the Family

It was a strange day. We waited on the steps of the cathedral for the children for three hours and not a single soul showed up. Usually we will spend time with at least one child but today was different. Finally, we decided that it was time to go home. We stopped at a grocery store on the way. As we came out of this store, a young lady came up to us and tried to get our attention. She did not look Brazilian: she was clearly a foreigner. We thought that she was lost and heard us speaking English and wanted to ask us for directions. Instead, her first words were: “Do you have a blog?” Her name is Michelle. She came to Brazil to discern a call to work with homeless children. Her first stop was São Paulo. She did some quick research the day before about missionary work among the homeless children here and our blog appeared among the list. Our meeting appeared to be random but we took it as an opportunity from God. We invited Michelle for lunch and she went with us to the streets. Then, Michelle decided to spend the last ten days of her trip here with us in the streets to discern her call. She met our family in the streets and it did not take long for her to become a part of it. I will let Michelle tell you about her participation in her own words.

Through the eyes of Michelle

michelle“Michelle!” Bruno shouted across the street to me as I sat on the steps outside Praça da Sé Cathedral. We met on the steps and he gave me a warm hug and told me he had missed me. I first met him 5 weeks before when we played Uno and talked. Bruno had immediately put me at ease and welcomed me as one of the family. I was so touched that he remembered me even though I had been gone for 5 weeks. He was instantly ready to open his arms to me and include me in his day and life, even though we didn’t know each other very well. I remember one of the first things that struck me about Bruno was how kind his eyes are. I know he has been through a lot but it hasn’t extinguished his kindness.

Through staying with Stephen and Mary and going out on the streets with them I learnt a lot about what true hospitality looks like. They welcomed me into their home, supported me, and showed me love in so many ways. Likewise, the street kids I met welcomed me as soon as they met me and treated me with respect and kindness. Even though I was a stranger to them and I couldn’t speak their language well they patiently waited for me to struggle through basic sentences in Portuguese. They accepted my presence as if it was normal and treated me either like a street worker or a friend, not just a random visitor.

Their acceptance of me is a testament to the work Stephen and Mary do. They have built strong relationships with them. They are friends with them. And Stephen and Mary introduced me to them as ‘our friend from England’. Friends meeting friends. The respect the street kids have for Stephen and Mary is obvious. It’s clear that Stephen and Mary have offered them safety and proved themselves to be trustworthy. I got all the benefits of being a friend of Stephen and Mary, as the street children’s respect for them meant I was welcomed so warmly.

The safe, trusting relationships Stephen and Mary have offered the children was most evident in one moment on my last day with them. Alex was the only child with us. He turned 16 that week but he looks and acts much younger. Stephen had a children’s Bible with him and Alex wanted him to read from it. As Stephen read, Alex was very engaged and interested. Lying on his side, he edged closer to Stephen, leaning over his arm, watching the words Stephen read and looking at the picture. He was physically close to Stephen, listening and enjoying the story, completely safe. It reminded me of a child listening to his father read him a bedtime story. Alex felt safe with Stephen and Mary and it showed in his body language and interactions with them.

It was a beautiful moment of innocence and safety for a child who lives and sleeps on the street. It’s hard to reconcile it with the other experiences I had of Alex over the week, like when I saw him do drugs, or when he showed us where he had slept the night before and pointed matter-of-factly at a bundle of dirty blankets on the street in the centre of São Paulo.

I remember during the week Stephen talking about family. He said he and Mary go out on the street as a family and they invite the kids to be part of their family. When I went out with them on the first day and met Bruno we played Uno on the steps of the Cathedral and I remember that it felt like a family playing a board game in their living room. The only thing that reminded me that this wasn’t normal was that other people walking by or sitting on the steps were looking at us in confusion and trying to work out why we were together.

Every day I saw the street kids come and find Stephen and Mary on the steps. They came knowing they would be accepted. Knowing that Stephen and Mary would be happy to see them. Sometimes they just talked, or coloured. More often they wanted to play Uno and there was a lot of laughter and friendly competition. Some of the kids came by for a brief talk and a hug and kiss. Others stayed all afternoon until we left.

waiting-for-the-children

There is a family reunion every day on the steps of Praça da Sé. It’s an odd looking family.Sometimes it’s a big family and sometimes it’s small. It’s a family that’s not always accepted or understood by onlookers. But it’s a family nonetheless. And Jesus is sitting right in the middle.

 

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A Letter from Florida

Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.-Matthew 18:5

I have been carrying a letter in my bag for the past couple of days. It was sent about two months ago. We have been waiting for the right moment to share its contents with Ruan. There are several reasons for the delay. Our month of absence meant that we needed to reacquaint ourselves with the children. The children have a unique way of perceiving prolonged absence. Living in the streets changes the way they sense the passing of time. Everyday is the same for them. There are no holidays or weekends. They build relationships with people based on familiarity. The more they see someone, the stronger they bond they forge with the person. Familiar faces become their sense of security. We are part of this secure environment. However, our absence disturbed this fragile construction and they eventually begin to think that we are not part of their social fabric. As a means of self-preservation, they get accustomed to our absence and move on with life. Our return requires them to make readjustments once more. There is not much resistance to this but it still takes time. To help this process, we keep doing the old activities we did with them to assure them that nothing has changed. It was crucial that nothing radically new is introduced at this time. This is why I have kept this letter all this time. This letter as simple as it is is going to introduce new dimension into our relationship. It is important that it is presented at the right time.

Ruan was nowhere to be found. However, we did find the others and we went to the courtyard nearby and sat there and just talked. We have been having more moments like this for which we are immensely grateful. Then, out of nowhere, Ruan appeared. He wanted to be included in our activities immediately and it did not matter what we were doing as long as he could be part of it. Most of us have grown accustomed to Ruan’s childish demands and everyone just laughed and told him to wait like the rest. He did not mind. He just wanted to announce his presence. He then proceeded to take a bottle of paint thinner and started to sniff it. We told him not to do its because we wanted him to have a clear mind when he is with us. To our pleasant surprise, he put it away and sat down with us. This was the first time he has done this.

Mary was playing a game of checkers with one of the boys. Ruan wanted to play the next game with her. I took this opportunity to take him aside. I told him that I had something for him but there was need for some explanation. Ruan knows that we are from the church but he never asks too many questions about us. Recently, he has been more open about his feelings towards us. He does not hide the fact that he likes being with us. Last week for instance, he spent a few hours with us even though he was itching to go out and beg for a snack. However, he knew that once he left us he would get too distracted to return. He stayed until his hunger pangs got the better of him and then he took off, promising that he would try to return. He never did. It doesn’t matter. It was good enough for us to know that he wanted to spend as much time with us as possible.

I shared about the churches in the States and the people who are praying for him, not only him but for the others as well. It was the first time I shared this with any child. Not because they would disapprove but we wanted them to understand that the prayer was a first step towards relationship building. Ruan wouldn’t have understood what I was saying several months ago. Our relationship with him has opened the doors for him to have relationships with others in the church. The letter, I continued, is a fruit of this prayer. It was written by a grandmother in Florida. To be precise, it was a Christmas card but it didn’t matter to Ruan. He has never written or received a Christmas card in his life. I asked Ruan if he wanted me to translate the letter. He nodded in approval. I could see in his face that he was processing everything that I have just said. The author of letter shared how she received his name and what prompted to pray for him specifically. She made it plain and simple that it was the Holy Spirit. The Spirit stirred her heart to her connect with him. In closing, she asked if she could pray for Ruan as if he was her grandson. Ruan listened intently to what was written. I asked what he thought about this grandmother praying for him like a grandson. He became a little timid at this point and nodded his head to say, “yes”. I take it that it meant ‘yes’ that he wanted her to pray for him in this way. It was a short letter and it said everything that was needed to be said. I kept the card in its envelope and asked him what I should do with it. He wanted me to keep it for him because it would be safer. However, he stressed that he wanted it back one day so that he could keep it safely in his house. Ruan usually goes home for a few weeks a year. Even though he hardly stays at home, it was a symbolic way of saying that this letter is going to be one of his treasures. Then he asked where was this person living. When he heard the words, “Florida”, it dawned upon him that this letter came from thousands of miles away. His face lit up and immediately he transformed before my eyes from Ruan the street kid to Ruan the little boy. His eyes widened and there was huge smile on his face and he said, “You mean someone all the way from Florida wrote to me!” I guess that when I told him about churches in the States were praying for him, it did not register. They sounded abstract but the letter was something real and concrete. It showed the reality of the connection between him and Florida.

I asked him if he would like to write a letter to her. He said, ‘yes’. However, it wasn’t a convincing affirmative. Then I realized that Ruan comes for generation that perhaps has no clear understanding what is a letter. I haven’t received a written letter ever since e-mail came into the picture. Ruan never lived in a time where there was no internet. I rephrased my question. I asked him if he would like to say something to her some time. He smiled and nodded his head. I told him that I would help him. Ruan was visibly happy and he stayed longer than usual with us this day. We were playing a game when a man in a wheelchair passed us by. Ruan then told us that his step-father was a paraplegic as well. I already knew this from another source but this was the first time I heard it from Ruan himself.

I was initially planning to write a post about doing ministry beyond the idea of success and failure. Then I read the letter to Ruan. I think that this interaction with him would better describe why any Christian ministry cannot be defined on success and failure. These standards are imported into the Christian ethos from the world. They look at temporal results. The gospel deals with eternity. Our goal is help the children be conscious of an eternal reality. A simple letter opened up Ruan’s world, but not just his world, but also the world of it’s author. A grandmother who perhaps will never meet Ruan in this reality has gained a grandchild for eternity. The world does not possess the vocabulary to express the beauty of this reality. It cannot define it in its narrow view of success and failure. It goes beyond what is imaginable in this world. The gospel does things like that.

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We Are Their Fathers and Mothers

Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?-Malachi 2:10

We encountered a sad and disturbing incident. Unfortunately, there is a sentiment that is growing among many in the city.

We just got to the public square where the children were and noticed a commotion. A ten year old boy, Wesley, was in the middle of it. We saw some adults looking at his neck. We enquired what was going on and Wesley showed us his bruised neck. The bruises were actually impression of a hand. Wesley was obviously upset and told us that a policeman grabbed and squeezed him by the neck. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole incident confirmed this and added that someone had their phone stolen and the police were certain that the children had it. They lined up all the children and one of them grabbed Wesley and tried to intimidate him into giving up the culprit. The passerby then told me something that astonished me. He said that the children deserved it. He went on to say that the children have been getting out of hand and someone needed to put them in their place. By this he meant that it was perfectly fine for a grown man armed to the teeth to choke a defenseless ten year old child. This happened during the afternoon in one of the most busiest sections in the center.

I do not doubt for a moment that one of the children had stolen the phone. Even if they did not do it this time, it is not something beyond them. They did not deny anything when we spoke to them. However, their bad behavior does not change the fact that they are still children. If these children were our own flesh and blood, we would not tolerate a complete stranger physically abusing our child, let alone choking him until his neck is bruised. No decent parent would condone such behavior regardless of what their young child had done. However, these children do not have parents. They are orphans. No one looks out for them. No one misses them when they are gone. No one cares if they are gone. Apparently, no one vouches for them when they are physically abused in public. These children are non -existent in all practical sense. They sense this in their souls. They try to assert their existence through bad behavior just like an attention-craving child would do in any given context. This does not excuse their bad behavior. It needs to be addressed but not with hatred and violence.

Unfortunately, a seed of hatred was planted in Wesley’s heart on this day. However, all is not lost. It does not necessarily mean that bitterness and anger are going to take root in his soul. Evil actions are not as powerful as we imagine. These children have experienced much hatred and rejection in their lives and they still are open to be loved. They still believe that there is someone who would love them. They still want to be loved. In other words, they still want to believe that their existence is worth something to someone in this world. Most of them are able to overcome the hatred that they experienced in this life if they can discover that they are important to at least one person in this life.

The Sunday is Pentecost Sunday. Churches around the world celebrate this special day as the beginning of the church. The message of Pentecost Sunday has something significant and powerful to say to these children and teens. The coming of the Holy Spirit changed the nature of relationships. Before this blessed day, the apostles imagined the preaching of the gospel within their cultural, geographical and social limitations. With the miracle of the tongues, the apostles discovered that the Holy Spirit has something beyond their limited imagination. It is no longer of a religious message of a certain people or language. It is a message of adoption. All peoples were now part of the great family of God. All the orphans and widows from all over the world now have a Father who cares and loves them and a family that includes them as their own brothers and sisters.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God-Romans – 8:16

The Spirit of God is poured upon all peoples to testify to their spirit that they are adopted. No one is an orphan anymore because God is their Father. No land is too distant for us to seek and care for our brothers and sisters who are still unaware that they are part of this new family. Our children and teens in the streets sense the longing for a Father in their spirit. They understand that fatherhood is not restricted to flesh and blood. They know all these aspects of the Truth and yet they need to see and experience the reality of this adoption in a clear and tangible manner.

They need to see fathers and mothers who are sent by the Holy Spirit to testify to this adoption. This should be, perhaps, the only and true motivation of missionary work. It is a motivation that can only be inspired by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We can only receive the orphans of this world as our own family members when we have experienced the power of adoption in our own lives. For those who have not experienced this reality would consider it absurd to go out into the world and care for the children of outsiders. They would claim that we need to take of our own first. The Holy Spirit is a generous Spirit. There is enough love for those far away as well as those who are near.

The next day, all the other children that had witnessed the event wanted to do an activity with us. We were surprised that none of them were using or sniffing paint thinner or any other drug. They just sat and colored together with us and asked questions about ourselves. They just wanted to be with us. I have to say that we enjoyed just being with them. This is the first step towards a real spiritual adoption. However, the police were lurking around behind us. The children were a little afraid and they did share this sentiment with us. However, they also felt safe with us despite the presence of potential violence. As for the violence, it is not going to go away. It will loom around the children and teens always. We are always in the midst of it. However, it cannot undo what the Holy Spirit is doing in our hearts.

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Our Visit with Veronica

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.-John 13:34

For those who do not know the story of Veronica, I wrote about her in our introductory post of this blog (see link below). However, I will give the nutshell version here; Veronica was a homeless girl whom we met about 20 years ago. She was ten years old then. She left the streets and lived in our missionary community until she became an adult. Today Veronica is 30 years old. She lives in a city called Ponta Grossa which is in the southern Brazilian State called Paraná. We travelled ten hours by bus to visit her last week.

Veronica came to this city from São Paulo with almost nothing. She worked in a Drug Rehabilitation Center for a few years and she eventually got a position as an advocate for abused and abandoned children. Veronica had firsthand knowledge of the plight and suffering of these children but she lacked any formal training in the legal matters concerning her work. A particular director of a social program saw Veronica’s potential and helped her to get scholarships for training programs.  This eventually perked her interest in Law and now she is due to completing her Law degree.

Veronica had planned a busy schedule for us in Ponta Grossa. There was a list of people she wanted us to meet. For Veronica, we are her spiritual parents and she wanted to show her parents all the good things that had happened in her life. Needless to say, we could not keep to the schedule due to time restraints. However, we saw enough to realize how God has transformed this homeless girl into a rich child of God in this city. Her treasures are where neither rust, moth or thieves could steal.

One visit that marked me was with a single mother with a two year old toddler. Veronica was the godmother of this child. Veronica met this young mother when she was about to get an abortion. Abortion is available in Brazil even though it is officially illegal (personally, I don’t how this works). Veronica had a long talk with this young woman and managed to talk her out of the abortion. The young woman herself was an adopted child of a wealthy family in the city but for some reason, she was estranged from the family. They had practically abandoned her. She was squatting in an abandoned house and had no financial resources. She was planning to use pills to effect an abortion. However, she really wanted to keep the baby but was afraid that she could not manage financially and emotionally.

Veronica used her own personal money to help this woman rent a small apartment.  She also supported her emotionally during her pregnancy. The family eventually took their adopted daughter back after the birth of the child and assumed financial responsibility for her. When we visited this young mother, she was truly happy to see Veronica and she gave all of us warm hugs. Most importantly, we saw the baby boy sleeping peacefully in his bed. This boy wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for Veronica’s willingness to be God’s instrument of compassion and love to this young woman. This was something Veronica did privately and no one knows about it, not even her husband. Veronica wanted us to see it. It was something special she wanted to share with us.

We met many people like this young woman who were blessed by Veronica’s kindness and generosity. However, the most powerful sign of her willingness to God’s instrument was the young toddler sleeping in his crib. The baby is alive because this young girl twenty years ago said “yes” to God. Veronica is forever part of this young child’s life and so are we through her. God has made us rich indeed.

Read the story of Veronica on our Introduction Post:

Introductions

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A Christmas Gift from God

For Brazilians, the pinnacle of the Christmas celebration takes place on Christmas Eve. It is a great family gathering and it is the only time of the year when the city of São Paulo is quiet. The streets are deserted except for the homeless people. Sadly, it is also one of the times of the year where the homeless people really feel and know that they are excluded from society.

One Christmas Eve in 1997, a volunteer from a social agency decided to host a Christmas dinner in the streets with the homeless. He asked if we would be part of this meal and we gladly agreed.  We invited the homeless children and adults that we knew for the feast. My childhood friend from Singapore was visiting with me at this time and he joined us as well. At about 11 o’clock at night we had our Christmas meal with about 30 of homeless friends. It was strange to have a meal in the middle of the streets. However, on that night, I felt something deeply spiritual had happened. I felt like something eternal occurred and this moment would be one of the eternal treasures which Jesus spoke about.  Janaina was part of this group and she was fourteen years old then.

I remembered Janaina opening to us and telling us her life story. She was orphaned at a very young age. Her father died and her mother was a drug addict who gave up all her six children for adoption. Janaina was the youngest.  Her mother eventually passed away. The siblings were in an orphanage together and they made every effort not to be separated.  At one point, Janaina was almost adopted by a German family but she could not bear to be away from her brothers and she became sad and depressed. The adoption fell through. However, her would-be adopted mother never gave up. She is still in contact with Janaina after all these years. The siblings eventually ran away to the streets and in the streets what they feared the most became a reality: they were separated. Janaina lost contact with her siblings and she was alone in the world. She had never experienced a proper family life. She only knew how to survive in the streets. Janaina shared her story without tears or regret. It was just her reality.  My childhood friend was moved by her story and so was everyone for that matter.  He asked if he could pray for her. I remember clearly that Janaina’s face lit up when my friend offered to do this. It appeared to be simple gesture on my friend’s part but his sincerity and genuine concern struck a chord in her heart.

A couple of weeks ago, Mary and I were walking to the Cracolândia when we heard someone calling out our names. We turned around and saw Janaina smiling and looking very pregnant. She is thirty years old now. She was really happy to see us after all these years. She could not believe that we had decided to move back permanently to Brazil. She told us that she is married and expecting her first child. She is currently unemployed but she has been doing odd jobs here and there to help pay the rent. She had been off drugs for several years now and is actively involved in a local church. We invited her to our house for coffee or lunch and a couple days ago, Janaina showed up here with her beautiful smile and looking almost ready to deliver her first child at any moment.

A Happy Reunion

A Happy Reunion

One of the first things that Janaina asked us is whether we remembered that particular Christmas Eve dinner in the streets. I was quite surprised that she remembered that day. She told us that she could never forget that day. She was surprised that we chose to have a meal with those who were excluded rather than with our friends and families. These were her very words. She even remembered my childhood friend and that he prayed for her. I told her that it was a moment from God for all of us. We sensed His love for us all. We were all included in His love. This was better than having a meal with friends and families.

Janaina’s trajectory was a difficult one. She explained that she struggled to leave the streets because the streets were her comfort zone. She has many good memories in the streets because of the bond she had with some of the children and adults. She said that she wouldn’t have survived the streets if it wasn’t for these relationships. Some of these people who had been her support in the streets were drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves and addicts. God used them to help this little girl. God uses anyone who is willing to be His instrument of Love.

Leaving the streets meant that she had to leave the only family she had known.

Janaina misses not having a family. Since they were separated her brothers and sister  have become like strangers to her. However, she is learning that family in the true spiritual sense is not defined by blood but those who are willing to walk together with her in this life. She still struggles with the sense of inferiority. She struggles with feeling excluded in society. These are struggles that perhaps will never go away for her. Others who have left the streets struggled with similar demons. She spent the whole afternoon with us and she was open and expressive. We were amazed how articulate she has become, being able to verbalize and identify her fears and hopes clearly.

Janaina was God’s Christmas gift to us this year. It is a reminder that nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Every gesture or just a simple sitting together to have a meal could remind someone of their true worth. When we had the Christmas Eve meal together, we just wanted to spend time with our friends who were homeless. We did not have any other motives except to enjoy them. I would like to do this again and again but I cannot be stuck in a moment. We are not called to relive past moments. The same God who brought about that eternal moment fifteen years ago is still working here. He has a banquet prepared and He has sent out the invitation. Everyone is invited.

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