faith

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As God Slumbers

But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”-Mark 4:38-40

It has always been there but I never paid any attention to it. I was too distracted by the storm. The miracle overshadowed my reflection. I thought I understood what Jesus meant by lack of faith. Now, everything seems little different; I listened to the story instead. I did not try to impose my ideas on it. Just listened to it and heard the plea of the disciples, “Do you not care that we are perishing?” Then I looked around and realized that the same plea was once uttered by our children and teens.

Our ministry is with children and teens whose world came tumbling down. Most of them found to be God to be silent or “sleeping” while they felt desperate and lost. In their hearts, they believed that God must not care if they perished. Their passage to the streets is a symbol of resignation. They got tired of waiting for God to wake up. They believe that they are on their own in this life. However, none of them would ever verbalize it. It would have been better if they followed the examples of the disciples and cried out to God, “Do you care that we are perishing?” Instead they carry in their souls this poignant thought that they are alone and rejected even by the only One they hope could save them. Perhaps, this is our task here. Perhaps it is our responsibility to help and encourage them to say the words of the disciples. It was these words that woke Jesus from His slumber.

For years, I have heard and even preached a few sermons myself about the lack of faith in the disciples. However, I did not really understand what was exactly missing in their faith. I used to think that they lacked the faith to believe that Jesus could calm the storm. If this was the case, then it would be unfair of Jesus to rebuke them. No one in their right mind could have imagined this from a religious leader. Whenever there is a hurricane approaching in a given place, no one in their right mind is going to heed a religious leader asking people to stay put and pray the storm away. We expect to evacuate to a safer place because it is the wise and right to do. God has given us the wisdom to act accordingly. Besides, Faith is always in accordance with wisdom but not human reasoning. The latter is limited but wisdom is open and universal. This is where the disciples failed. They used their reasoning. They judged Jesus by the circumstances, not allowing their faith to inform them. Faith produces wisdom. They were companions of Jesus. They had seen Him heal and teach and interact with the people. Yet they doubted whether He cared for them. A simple storm doesn’t change His nature or character. We cannot allow one circumstance or incident to define who God is.

Jesus slept peacefully.

In most situations in our lives, instead of sleeping, we could say God was silent. What the disciples failed to understand is that silence doesn’t mean absence. Jesus was in the boat with them. Perhaps, for many, this does not suffice. Many don’t want a God who suffers with them but One who resolves all their problems. Some churches promote this false ”God”. They claim that our faith can make everything calm and tranquil in our lives. This is a god doesn’t exist. The atheists and agnostics have come to disbelieve in this conjecture. This false teaching also reduces faith into some kind of special and magical tool to get what we want. Whereas the gospel teaches that faith reveals to us the nature of God. It reveals to us a God who chooses to suffer rather than resolve all our problems. It is a God who looks at life from the perspective of the one who is rejected and suffers. Why suffer and not solve the problems and end suffering? Well, God truly has the choice in this matter and He makes an option to suffer. I can’t say any more than this. God is God and He has made His choice. Jesus would rather be sleeping in the boat on brink of destruction than to be safe on shore. If we want to discover this Jesus, then we need to be on the boat amidst the storms of life. We need to be with those whose world is tumbling down. Then we discover some wonderful things about our God.

“Do you care that we are perishing?”

It is not wrong to ask God this question. I think that it would be wrong for me to try to answer it. It is a question only God can answer. However, we cannot know God intimately if we have not asked this question. I am sure that most of us felt moments when we thought that God is either sleeping or not interested. It is not a question that goes unanswered. The answer comes from faith and faith comes from God; not forgetting that it is also part of wisdom.

Those who have received the answer know where their place is in the world. It is not in safe shores but in the boat in the midst of the storm where people feel abandoned and hopeless. While we cannot say why God is silent but we can testify to the fact that He is always present, perhaps even through our presence. This is our hope and prayer for our children and teens living in the streets.

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Walking on Hidden Waters

Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.
Matthew 14:28-32

There is no body of water close to the old center of São Paulo. Once surrounded by rivers, the names of some of the streets reveal that there was even a tiny port. Today all we find are highways and tarred roads. The river is still there and active. We cannot see or access its resources. It is hidden underground. In a way, we are walking above the river. It is not the same as walking on it. We are not aware of the river running below our feet but it is there.

The story from the gospel is peculiar but not the part about Jesus walking on water. This shouldn’t surprise those who have faith in Him. We believe He is God incarnate. He is not dominated by nature. It is Peter’s attitude that I find to be strange. Why would anyone sane want to walk on water? He was a fisherman. He should know that the sea is a temperamental wild beast. However, Peter wasn’t thinking about this. He wanted to be like Jesus. This was his only inspiration and he also walked on water. Just a few steps though before reality sank in and his body followed suit. This is the most logical part of the story. It is something that we all can identify with him. I would panic if I was in the same situation as him. Jesus seemed a little unfair. He said that Peter had little faith when he did exactly what was normal for any human being. We were not meant to be walking on water and yet Jesus made it possible for Peter to do something that goes against his human nature.

I read this passage in the beginning of the week. The past few weeks have been chaotic for us. All the previous violent episodes had thrown us into some sort of a spiritual turmoil. I thought that perhaps I should start the week with the lectionary gospel reading to help bring things into focus. After all, the gospel is good news regardless of the circumstances. Initially I could not find all the necessary dots to connect this gospel reading with our lives.

Felipe and Tiger

The week was atypical but I could say this about every week in the streets. The children found a puppy, they fell in love with it and this love was mutual. He was their constant and happy companion. There was always someone giving it attention including us. Then, the dog took ill and the children came to us for help. The children in general are very protective over their pets. They would go without food to ensure that their dog was fed. They sensed something was seriously wrong with the dog. We told them that we would find a free vet close by and we found one on the day itself. Unfortunately, it was too late. The dog contracted a virus that attacked its nervous system and it died that very night. When we arrived to take the dog to the vet, the children were awaiting us to give us the tragic news. They shared the painful ordeal they experienced with their beloved pet. They said that they called different public vets and one said that he would see the dog if they paid him a large sum of money. The children were desperate and finally the dog had a violent convulsion and was no more. We heard the story in different versions. It was something they needed to share with someone who would understand. Felipe said that they sat down and cried when the dog died. They knew that it was part of life. We had taken a picture of Felipe with the dog a few days ago. The children were glad that at least they have a photo to remember it. They are not pet-less. They have another dog with them. It was abandoned too. They asked us if we would take it the vet just to ensure it was fine. It was really Alex’s dog because he found it. However, Alex looks like he is 12 even though he is turning 17 in a few weeks time. We needed someone from the streets who was above 18 to go with us to the vet because they only give free treatment for homeless people. We are afraid that they might take the dog from Alex thinking that he is a minor and incapable of taking care of a dog. I asked Felipe to do it. He was a little reluctant. He was emotionally exhausted but he eventually acquiesced. He knew that it was the right thing to do.

The scene was like a scene from a family. The children waited for us to share this tragic tale because we loved the dog too. It was a wonderful dog. It used to sit close to us when we did activities with the children and we certainly miss its presence. They knew that we would understand. However, it would have never crossed my mind that living the gospel would mean consoling children over the death of a dog. It would be crazy to share this at church meeting and say that we are going to another country to help children find a vet for their dogs. The gospel, however, makes us do the unexpected. Things that we used to think that are trivial or impossible become a viable means of expressing love. The children were waiting for someone who would understand their loss. They shared everything that happened. It gave them comfort to know that there was someone who was willing to understand them. The dog died and it wasn’t their fault. They did everything to save it. While it was alive, it never lacked love. They gave to the dog the unconditional love that perhaps they never experienced in their homes.

Like I said, the rivers and streams are still running through the streets where we work. Just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean Jesus is not beckoning us to walk with Him on water. It is not about doing something spectacular. It is just being willing to do something that is unusual for us. It is being willing to allow the gospel to take us to places that we don’t usually want to go or do this things that we might think are trivial. It is easy to disregard the whole incident as something banal. Thankfully, I started the week reading this gospel text. It was helped us look to the One who walks on water for wisdom instead of merely looking at circumstances and disregarding the valuable spiritual lesson hidden within.

 

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Sacrifice is not Optional

And it cometh to pass after these things that God hath tried Abraham, and saith unto him, `Abraham;’ and he saith, `Here am I.’ And He saith, `Take, I pray thee, thy son, thine only one, whom thou hast loved, even Isaac, and go for thyself unto the land of Moriah, and cause him to ascend there for a burnt-offering on one of the mountains of which I speak unto thee.’- Genesis 22:1-2

Everything was going well for Abraham. Faithful to God all his life. Successful in everything he did. Well-respected in his community. The only thing lacking to make his life complete was a heir and God surprised him with one in his advanced years. Isaac was not only his heir but he was a fulfillment of a promise that his name would never be forgotten in this world. It was the closest thing to an eternal life in Abraham’s time. God asked Abraham to sacrifice not just his son but everything he had worked for his whole life. It is a disturbing story even though we know that it has an happy outcome. The question remains; what kind of God would ask a father to sacrifice his son. Keeping also in mind that Isaac was God’s idea. Abraham did not ask for Isaac. He had consoled himself that he wasn’t going to have any heirs. He was happy when Ismael was born. However God insisted on Isaac and now Isaac was the desired sacrifice. This story has all the appearance of a cruel joke.

We read this story to children but in reality, it is a story for mature adults. It is a story that separates those who understand their faith and those who stand outside of it. Soren Kierkegaard, a famous Danish philosopher, wrote extensively on this story and he stated that this story only makes sense for those who have taken the leap of faith. For those who stand outside the realms of faith, this episode represents everything that is wrong with religion. They would say that it is a story that promotes blind faith. For those who have experienced the divine, this story is a challenge. It challenges us to take step further in our faith. This is definitely not a story for the novice.

Jesus said, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”-Luke 14:26

I have heard preachers and Christians explain away this tough saying of Jesus. They say that this was specifically meant for the apostles and it does not apply to our present reality. We have modified Jesus to be someone who would never really say anything that would cause us discomfort. However, Jesus came to reveal the same God Abraham knew. This God hasn’t changed. He makes the same demand to those who want to be his disciples including all of us. Here again, this verse should only disturb those who have experienced the transformative power of the gospel in their lives. These are the only ones interested in being his disciples. For the rest, it would be utter foolishness. How can anyone demand that we hate our own flesh and blood? They would say. Then they can even further their argument to say that Jesus also tells us to love our enemies who despise us and hate those who have cared and nurtured us. This is not only inconsistency but it is ludicrous as well. They are right if they reason according to the wisdom of this world. However, there is a new wisdom that is working in those touched by the Holy Spirit. It is the wisdom according to the Spirit. The call of disciples is an invitation to participate in a new reality.

Abraham thought his longevity and promises depended entirely on Isaac. He was right but God wanted to introduce him to a more profound wisdom. This wisdom is not attainable unless we sacrifice the things that hold us back in this world. Usually, these are things and people that we love and cherish. These are the things make our lives worth living. As wonderful and important as they might seem to us, they also have the potential to rob from us the greater spiritual wealth God has for us. This is why Jesus used a strong words such as “hate”. They have the potential to deprive us of the greatest treasure in the world. Our enemies, on the other hand, do not hold us back. Our hatred of them might keep us imprisoned spiritually but loving them releases us from captivity. Every thing that Jesus commands us to do is about freeing our souls to know a reality that is greater and richer than we can ever imagine. Therefore, there must be something liberating about sacrifice.

I grew up in close contact with peoples of other religious traditions. Sacrifices are part and parcel of their ritualistic life. I remember seeing my neighbors sacrifice a banquet to their preferred deities. These sacrifices were offered in exchange for prosperity and longevity. Sacrifices are often seen as an exchange for something. They are not just limited to liturgical practices. This is just as prevalent in the secular world. We make sacrifices in our daily lives for something better or at least what we perceive as better. However, God changed this notion with Abraham. He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and there were no promises given. In fact, Abraham already had everything he wanted in Isaac. As far as Abraham was concerned, he needed nothing else in his life. There was nothing better that God could promise to make him want to sacrifice Isaac. There was no exchange. It was just a sacrifice. Jesus made rigorous demands on those who followed him. In return he told them that they would endure hardship and persecution. They would not have a place to call home. Many of the apostles died terrible deaths. They never had a fixed place to call home except for John who was exiled to an island, not exactly an ideal place to call home. All of them got exactly what Abraham received when he sought to sacrifice the apple of his eye. None of them would receive this special gift if they had not been willing to sacrifice.

Abraham is known in scripture not as the father of Isaac but as God’s friend. Jesus revealed to us that the goal of discipleship is friendship with Him (John15:15). Friendship is voluntary and demands sacrifices. We can choose to live without friends but we cannot cultivate strong and lasting friendship if we are not willing to sacrifice time and energy. The things and people we might sacrifice for a friendship depends on how much we esteem it. Abraham valued God’s friendship above all else. The disciples valued Jesus’ friendship more than their own lives. In both cases, God did not offer His friendship to them because of their sacrifices. God had always been Abraham’s friend. Jesus was always the disciples’ friends. He laid down his life for them. Their sacrifices opened their eyes to see God for who He really is. It did not change God but it just changed them.

Abraham quietly went up the mountain to sacrifice his son. He must have thought that his God was the same as all the gods of his time. Human sacrifice was not uncommon then. He came down from the mountain with a new understanding of who God is. God did not change but Abraham’s concept of God did. Sometimes the very things we consider as special and precious can hinder us from discovering something greater and wonderful about God. It is not that God needs us to sacrifice these things but our love and affection for them might blind us from discovering God’s love. Abraham believed that Isaac was his heir who was going to make his name remembered in this world but we remember Abraham because his friendship with God.

You might be wondering what inspired me to think about this subject. It was a simple question asked by a fifteen year old, Kelvyn. It is not a Brazilian sounding name but it is the only one he has. Technically he is not a homeless teen. He is the streets all the time and he knows all our teens and children. Unfortunately, he is a drug dealer. He was born into it. His parents were in prison when he was born and this was the life he was exposed to all his life. He always was curious about us and he had a special soft spot for Mary. Recently, we had a rare occasion of spending almost a whole afternoon just talking with Kelvyn. One of the things he said struck me. He said that he hoped one day he could do what we do. He thought that it was a wonderful thing to sacrifice our time and energy to be friends with people like him. He asked what motivated us to do this. We thought about it for a while and then we said it is because of our friendship with God.

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Beyond Right and Wrong

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.-Matthew 11:28

Two interesting things happened last week.

The first incident occurred last Monday. We usually work in the evenings on Monday. Our time began with a conversation with a drug dealer who controls an area where the homeless children usually stay. We often bothered by this dealer because some of the older teens also work for him. Besides this, he is often seen there with his wife and two little children. It makes us sad to see these two children born into this lifestyle. However, last Monday, he was alone. Usually he avoids talking to us but it was apparent that he wanted to talk to us this time. He told us that his wife got arrested recently and she was in prison. He claimed that he nearly lost both his children as they were with her when she was arrested. Since then, he managed to get his children back from social services and he believes that his wife might be in prison for some time as she is wanted for homicide. We could see that he was feeling vulnerable and we decided to stay and listen. He started opening up about his life. He shared that he got into this lifestyle because of love. He fell in love with his wife who was involved in drug trafficking. We asked him to consider seriously whether the path he is on is a good one for his children. Then the conversation took a bizarre turn. He desperately wanted to prove to us that even though he was drug dealer, he was still a good person. He claimed that once he almost killed someone for robbing what he called a hardworking civilian. He said that it was wrong to rob people of their hard earned money. He thought that dealing with drugs was not really wrong because he does not force anyone to use drugs. Needless to say, we were disturbed by his distorted ethics. It appears that he needed someone whom he considered worse than him to prove that he was indeed a good person. He wanted desperately be a good person even though he was going about it the wrong way.

The second incident occurred partly on the same night. We found our children in a nearby square and they had puppies with them. They told us that they found the puppies abandoned and they decided to adopt them. They were very excited like normal children would be when they get their first pet. The next day we found the children in the same place with the puppies. These children held the puppies close to their chest with one hand and held a bottle of paint thinner in the other. They were high but still very affectionate with the puppies. This scenery itself was surreal and then we saw a well-dressed couple approach the children and start talking with them. From a distance, we could make out that the couple were talking about the puppies. Then there was some money exchanged and the couple took all the puppies with them. They had paid $50 for each puppy and there were three. This was not a good thing because all the money would be spent on drugs. These children even said this in our presence. The couple saw them using drugs and yet they gave them the money anyway. I suppose they did not think about their actions carefully. From where we were standing, this couple thought that the puppies were more important than the children. They did not care if the children got high and died from overdose as long as the puppies were fine. It did not make sense. We were not the only ones that came to this conclusion. There were other social workers who saw this transaction and like us they too were flabbergasted. The couple went home thinking that they were better people than these children because they saved the puppies from them.

For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.-Romans 7:19

The couple and the drug dealer reveal something that is intrinsic in humans. Within us, there is a desire to do good, but having the desire alone is insufficient. Our desires do not necessarily inform us how to accomplish the good we desire to do. The drug dealer uses violence and intimidation to protect his idea of innocent victims. The couple wanted to save the lives of the puppies but they ended up contributing to the self-destruction of the children. All these people want to do good but doing what is right is not easy. The struggle is a real one. Everything seems distorted and confusing. St. Paul was right when he explained the deep inner struggle of the human soul. The good that we want to do is not what we end up doing.

No one deliberately does something evil. Most people think that they are doing something that would help them or others. Sometimes people make very bad decisions thinking that it is going to help them in the long run. Our children are in the streets because they think that this is the best thing for them. Everyone wants to do something good but not everyone knows how to discern what is right and wrong. There are many attempts to provide a foundation for this discernment. The answer does not lie in the actions itself but it has to come from something beyond these actions. The answer is not a mere theological or philosophical exercise but it is crucial for our very existence. Sometimes we hear stories from the older teens themselves that they struggle to know what is the right thing to do. They want to be good people but they just do not know how. This is the burden of being a human. We know in our innermost being that we are the happiest when we do good and our soul wanders aimlessly until we discover how to do it.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.- Matthew 11:27-30

Jesus does not give us a formula or a doctrine. He just points to Himself. He is the answer to knowing what is right or wrong. This is why that no matter how open we are as Christians we cannot succumb to saying that all religions are the same. As Christians, our existence is define through the person of Jesus. The person of Jesus Christ informs our ethical decisions. It is not the doctrine of Jesus but the person of Jesus. It is not a historic person named Jesus but a living person that is experienced through the Holy Spirit by faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). Faith is a not a blind leap. It an invitation to an experience to know the One who is able to give us the understanding between right and wrong.

We prayed for the couple and the drug dealer and we also prayed for ourselves. We too need to be constantly renewed in our understanding of what is right and wrong through the living presence of Jesus Christ.

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