And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He spoke this word openly. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. But when He had turned around and looked at His disciples, He rebuked Peter, saying, “Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” -Mark 8:31-33
When I started doing this, the blog I mean, my intention was to be connected with people who are interested in this ministry. Its original idea was to update our weekly experiences with the children and teens. Now, it has evolved into something else. The development was natural and perhaps, we can say that it was Spirit-led. It has become a place where I can share things that I have received from God. Sometimes I don’t even realize what I received until I begin to write. The words usually speak to my soul first. Sometimes what I write turns out to be mere reporting or writing for the sake of writing. I don’t do anything with these efforts. They remained hidden in my archives. They need to speak my soul before I can share them with everyone else. In a way, this has become something selfish in a positive way.
There is another selfish reason. I am afraid of losing the things that I received. Our capacity to remember things loses its reliability over the years. There are precious encounters that I don’t want to ever forget. However, sometimes I don’t really understand why they are special. It is as if I stumble upon a hidden treasure but I am not exactly sure why it is a treasure. They just find a place in my soul and refuse to leave until I give them their due attention. Many times they are things that would seem truly mundane to a casual observer. There is nothing spectacular or sensational about them; just plain and simple everyday things.
Wallace came up and sat next to us a few weeks ago. He was in the mood to talk. He just started talking about his family. It was something he wanted to share. He mentioned his mother. He told us that he cannot remember what her face looks like. This was the second time he shared this with us. The first time was in an office where we were getting his documents. He just sat there, lost in his thoughts, and then blurted out that he has absolutely no recollection of his mother. Then he went back to his silent reflection.
This time was different. He shared that he had an older sister and his aunts say that she looks like his mother. Unfortunately, he has never met her before. He has brothers and sisters that he has never seen. We did not probe him with questions. Asking questions interrupts the flow of the conversation. Sometimes it creates a distance between him and us. Wallace wants to be closer to us, not further. We discarded the questions and just listened.
He has an older brother who also lives in the streets. They occasionally go home to be with their father, only for a few days at a time. He has a strange relationship with his father. There wasn’t any bitterness or anger in his voice. He just talked about his normal day-to-day relationship with his father. Something was clearly evident in what he shared. His father unintentionally always thought the worst of him and Wallace spends most of his time trying to prove that he is innocent of most of the accusations. Even in the streets, he avoids all criminal activities. He doesn’t try to exploit people. He begs for money just enough to pay for his food and nothing else. The thing that he desires most is peace and quiet. He is a simple young man who has simple goals. He wants to work as a trash man because he would be allowed to do his job without anyone looking over his shoulder.
He talked with us for a long time.The conversation was absolutely interesting for us, not because of the content but the person who was sharing his story. Wallace hardly shares anything about himself. He is one of the most reserved youths in the street. However, today, he wanted to give. We listened and we sensed that this young man was offering something precious to us.
As with the most valuable things in the world like precious stones or beautiful art, their value is only recognized when they shared and appreciated by others. Most of the breathtaking and gorgeous things of the world have no practical value. They just help us see and appreciate beauty in this world.
Wallace’s simple interaction with us is fruit of years of excavating into the heart of this young man. He shared what was valuable to him and now I feel like I stumble upon something that needs to be shared. I don’t share every conversation we have in the streets. Some are private and most of them are just plain boring and lifeless. These are usually conversations tainted with lies and fantasy. However, there are special encounters that take root and grow in our hearts and eventually they need to be released into the world. These are moments that do not belong to me or any person who receives them. They are too precious and beautiful for us to keep them to ourselves. We have to share them.
Often I stumble around in my thoughts trying to find the precise words to allow these encounters to flow out of me. Sometimes I can’t find the words until the right moment, then they flow out of me. It is as if someone planted the words in my mind. When this happens, my heart is filled with a deep joy. There is a profound happiness in sharing what is given to us. For the first time in my life, I can read the gospel where Peter responds to Jesus’ pivotal question, I understand the profound joy Peter must have felt confessing Jesus’ true nature. Finally he was able to put all the encounters he had with Jesus into the words; “You are the Christ.” I can also understand why he become the “devil” immediately after this fact. In fact, it was this second part that inspired my reflection.
It seems harsh to call Peter the devil. At the same time, it makes complete sense. It serves as a warning. If Peter, who confessed the perfect words about his encounter with Jesus could become the “devil”, then we need to be very careful. The Christian idea of the devil is an angel who mistook what he had received as his own right and property. Peter thought that since he knew something deep and personal about the Lord that somehow Jesus belonged to him. He thought that he had a say in the direction of Jesus’ life. This was the devil’s mistake. Nothing we receive belongs to us. Everything belongs to God and we give it back to him, just like they say in our liturgy during our offertory,
“All things come from Thee, O Lord and of your Thine have we given Thee.”
(1 Chronicles 29:14)
The encounters and the words to express them come from God. They never belonged to me. I just receive them and my soul remains restless until I offer them back to God in words. After this, they don’t belong to me anymore. Our encounter with Wallace will speak to some people and they will sense in their souls a connection and pray for him. Maybe more so than I will ever pray for him, if I were to be honest. Maybe it will take some people in a completely different direction and perhaps even away from our ministry and Wallace. It might help them to relate better with someone else that is special and precious to them. It doesn’t matter. I cannot control the direction where the Spirit will take these words and encounters. They don’t belong to me. They are just precious gifts given to me so that I can share to everyone why some rejected homeless children and teens have made our lives richer than they can ever imagine.
