In His Abiding Presence

Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.  I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5

It seems easy but it is not as easy as it seems. My first encounter with these verses left me with a strange sensation that I had stumbled upon something wonderful and yet I could not grasp its full meaning. I was younger then, in my mid-teens. Maybe I needed more of life experiences to ask the necessary questions when I read this passage. There was another sixteen year old, almost forty years older than me, who struggled with some questions. Unlike me, he grew up in an environment where the Christian faith was dominant. His future was well-defined for him. His grandfather was a Lutheran minister as was his father. He knew what was expected of him. Maybe this is why he grappled with questions that I did not consider at his age. He did not understand these verses but he felt that he could not share his struggles. He was expected to be a pastor with all the answers. He always knew that he had none. I was fortunate in this way. My future then was a mystery. I had the freedom to choose what I wanted to do. I did not have any social pressure to choose a certain vocation. I read these words of abiding in Him and I knew that there was beauty and profound truth in them. Yet, I could not grasp it. I knew that these words are meant to be a comfort for those who struggle. Yet, its meaning was distant from me. I was not alone. My older friend heard these words but did not find any consolation. He felt empty and he carried this emptiness with him as he was ordained as a Lutheran minister.

I met him in Florida. He was a Buddhist monk then, a leader of a small Buddhist congregation. After almost thirty years as Lutheran minister, he finally decided to leave the Christian religion and embrace Buddhism. He fled from one religion to take refuge in another. Unfortunately, he harbored in his heart a subtle anger towards God. He felt that God had never accepted him. Therefore, he rejected God altogether by denying His existence. However, he could not deny the longing in his heart for something greater than himself. Buddhism gave him the freedom to be both an atheist and a believer in something which is undefinable. It sounds like a paradox which is quite consistent with life in itself. Our initial contact was an attempt on his part to instigate a debate. He spent years of theological studies and he was ready to argue against the existence of God. I wasn’t interested. I have never been interested in such things. I am convinced that faith cannot be attained through persuasion. It comes from God. I refused to engage in his debates. He read it as a rejection. Our relationship eventually turned sour. We kept our interactions to a minimum even though we frequently saw each other. I have to admit that I was a little relieved that I did not have to engage him.

One day he had a stroke. He lived alone. He laid on the floor for eight hours waiting for the only person who would notice his absence. It was a neighbor who came by his house daily to check on him. When she came around, his house was already filled with the presence of death. The doctors said that the damage was irreversible. It was a question of time. I heard about his state and went to visit him immediately. I did not know what to expect; perhaps more bitterness and anger towards God. Instead I saw a different man. He smiled as I walked into the room. He said, “I was just thinking about you.” He had a story that he wanted to share desperately with me.

As he laid on the floor waiting and thinking about his imminent death, he said that he recalled the voice of his Sunday school teacher saying these words to him,

“God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” 1 John 4:16

For eight hours, this verse kept going through his mind over and over again. Each time he thought about it, everything became clearer to him. He had spent years trying to figure out God. He tried to please the God that religion had created and molded with doctrines and formulas. He found this God of his imagination unsatisfactory. However, now, things became clearer. He saw Jesus in a different light. Jesus came to show us how to abide in God through Love. “We don’t have to figure out God.” His eyes were bright and alive when he told me this, “We just receive His Love and walk in His loving example. It is receiving and participating in Love that opens our eyes to see God.” It is so simple, he added, “and yet I have complicated everything.”

I visited him almost weekly after this and sometimes twice a week. It is funny to think that I used to make an effort to avoid him not too long ago. Now, I knew that I would genuinely miss him. It was a pleasure to talk to him. He discovered the God of Love. He was able to edify everyone around him. He continued to be a Buddhist monk. He shared with his congregation that in a way Buddhism brought him back to Jesus. I am not sure that they understood him but they could sense the change in his heart.

At that time, he wanted to give me something precious. It was a statue of the Resurrected Christ. It was handcrafted out of olive wood in Israel and was given to him by a famous Danish artist. He has carried it with him all his life even though he stopped professing the Christian faith. This statue has brought new meaning to him. He wanted me to have it. It was the first thing that came to my mind when I read the above gospel text.

I left for Brazil not long after and this elderly man passed away soon after. He was buried as a Buddhist missionary. It was the faith that helped him meet the Resurrected Christ. He doesn’t belong to any religion. He belongs to the Father. My friend had spent his whole life searching for the Resurrected Christ and when he was lying there thinking all is lost, he found Him. He realized that He has always been with him. Perhaps, this is why he heard the voice from his childhood repeating the verse over and over again. It was a voice that he ignored for many years. However, Jesus spoke to him then and had always been speaking to him. He wasn’t able to hear His voice because he wanted God to be something else. He ended up rejecting God in the process. However, it doesn’t matter. He met the Resurrected Christ. This was not a death bed conversion. It was a life giving encounter. It was an answer to questions he asked. He did not waste his life. I talk about him all the time. This man’s life makes me understand the depth of God’s love.

The statue will go with me wherever God sends me until I can give to someone else to carry this symbolic gift. Jesus is the same today, yesterday and forever and He will meet us where we are spiritually.

Once in a while, not too often, I wonder if people think that we are strange. A middle aged couple sitting on the dirty floor of a square and playing games with homeless children and teens. I wonder if people understand we are doing. Sometimes I wonder if I understand what I am doing. Then one day a man crossed the street to where we were and he was physically disabled and walked with a limp. I noticed him because it seemed like a struggle for him to cross the street. To my surprise, he walked up to us and said that he worked in the building nearby. Everyday he watched us from his window and sees us playing the children and teens. He wanted to say that it meant a lot to him. I felt God’s presence in a rich and abiding way. Abiding in Him is not something we figure but it is something we do through love.

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10 thoughts on “In His Abiding Presence

  1. Stephen, what a interesting post. No doubt that some would think you and Mary strange. Strange in that you are taking time for children that others have neglected and no longer pay attention to. Strange in that you and Mary care about the least in society. Strange that your hearts are filled with such love and compassion for others. Sometimes strange is simply the uncommon. Hopefully, those that may find you strange, are curious and will see God’s love and grace working through you and Mary. God bless you both and keep you and the children safe.

  2. very inspiring revelations, Stephen…..thank you for this writing and for all you and Mary do …. Irene Neal

  3. I’m reading and re-reading this post, and reading and re-reading John 15 and 1 John 4. Thank you for blessing us with your inspiring blog.

    • Thank you for your comments, Ming. This is my hope that the reflection would bring my readers back to scripture. It was the biblical text that inspired me to share this encounter. God bless.

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