Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” John 20:24-25

Igor had a huge scar which ran down from his shoulder to his upper arm. He suffered a severe burn when he was eight. He was left alone in his tiny house with his younger brother. They were extremely hungry but there was no food. They found some uncooked rice and Igor decided to cook it. He did not get far. When he turned on the gas stove, his clothes got caught on fire. He spent many days in the hospital. When he was discharged, he decided to take his chance in the streets. He doesn’t remember much about his parents. His mother was brutally murdered by a complete stranger whose advances were rejected. He only has the scar to remind him of his childhood and his grandmother, who was his only source of unconditional love.

His life in the streets was one of crime. When we met him, he was about 19. He was at a turning point. His juvenile criminal records were erased permanently and now he had a chance to have a fresh start. He decided to walk the straight and narrow path. He joined a neo-pentecostal church, the religion of his family. There he was taught that he needed to leave everything behind. They said that every thing in his past was sinful and unredeemable. He had to become a brand new person. Igor tried it. He adopted the dress code of his pastors. He learn all the religious lingo and used it effortlessly. He did everything to be a new Igor but his scar was still there. He just couldn’t get rid of it. It was part of him.

His religious phase did not last long even though he did put his heart and soul into it. He just couldn’t be the new person his church wanted him to become. Igor spent his life in the streets. He constructed his identity in the streets. He returned to the streets worse than before. This is the similar pattern of many of our youth who tried the religious route. They tried to become saints but end being more lost and tormented than before. It is like the parable that Jesus taught,

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” Matthew 12:43-44

Sometime ago, we helped Igor with his documents. We were waiting in line in a bank to pay a fee when an elderly woman walked by looking lost and disoriented. Igor immediately approached her and offered his help. He guided her to the place she needed to go and made sure someone attended to her. Then he told us that it was pity that none of her family members were helping her. He knows what that feels like. He has the scars to prove it.

Igor will always occupy a special place in our hearts. He really did want to do the right thing but he had to do something about the scar. It marred his life forever. He is not the only one. Every single homeless youth in the streets carries a scar. Some bear it on their bodies like Igor but for most, it is hidden from plain view. It rests safely in their souls. It has become an integral part of their identity. It has carried them through difficult times. Sadly, it is primarily responsible for them believing that the streets is their only true home.

We first met Igor towards the end of 2013. It was a long time ago. We have changed since then.

I used to think that Thomas’ request was a little morbid. Well, I still think it is morbid but I understand better now. Perhaps, it was the homeless youth that helped me to see things a little clearer. Thomas did not want a new and improved Jesus. He wanted to see the Jesus who suffered and died on the Cross. The wounds that were inflicted on Jesus marred Thomas deeply. They devastated him. They murdered the Man who had given meaning to Thomas’ life. No one other Christ would do for Thomas except the One who was crucified. He wanted to know if this Resurrected Jesus was still the same as before. He did not want an entirely new Christ. He wanted the old but new. This is true about our homeless youth. When they saw Igor trying to be different and new, they were happy for him but it did not bring any comfort to them. Despite all his attempts, they were still able to see Igor’s scar. It still remained a reminder of abandonment and rejection. They wanted to see if something could be done about it.

Like I said before, we have changed since we first met Igor. We used to think that the best chance these youth had was to abandon everything in the streets and start afresh. This is the pragmatic approach to the problem. It negates the human element involved. It ignores the resilience of human beings to construct something in midst of ruins. The Resurrection understands this. Jesus came back with the body that bore the marks of torture and hatred. He did not avoid the painful subject of what occurred on Good Friday. Thomas did not want to put it behind him. He confronted it and saw that these wounds of rejection and hatred were still present and they have changed. They no longer represented hopelessness. They were signs of victory. Our children and teens do not want to forget their past. As powerful and horrifying as their experience might have been, it is only thing they have that truly belongs them. They want to be able to do something with it. They want something to happen that will redeem these scars that have become an integral part of their identity. The Resurrection is something new but it builds upon the old. It is not an improvement to the old. It rebuilds something new out of the ruins of the old.

Igor wanted to find a new meaning for his scar. Instead, he found a rigid religious system that required him to reject all his friends who have helped him survive in the streets. He really wanted to meet the Resurrected Christ. He wanted to put his finger in the wounds of Jesus, only then, he could be confident to know that this Christ is able to transform the worst moments of his life into something beautiful and eternal. We believe that Igor will one day meet the Resurrected Jesus. Even though he is in a bad place now, it is not worse than the Cross. Jesus overcame it and transformed the symbol of death into a sign of eternal and unconditional Love. There is nothing that can separate the Love of God from Igor. Thomas realized this when he saw Jesus’ wounds. This is why He was the first apostle to drop on his knees and confess Jesus is His Lord and His God. Only God can take an hopeless situation and create something beautiful with it. This is what our children and teens are seeking.