Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have. Luke 24:39

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Now, it is a time to mourn and a time to weep. To do something otherwise would be negating our very humanity.

Sometimes in the comfort of my apartment, I can forget what is happening. Everything seems peaceful and quiet in my home. It makes me think maybe things are not as bad as I think they are. Then a friend wrote saying that his brother just died from Covid. His brother! It used to be a friend of a friend. Now, it is creeping into our intimate circles of friends and family. Then another friend wrote that the number of deaths now has the face of his mother. In my last visit with Bruno, he pointed out to me a store that was closed. He found out that the owner just died from the virus. It is not my imagination. It is real. The city is slowly dying.

Felipe shared that his nightmares have become more frequent. They were not exactly frightening. They just leave him feeling a little disoriented. The last one was quite vivid. He was with all his friends in the streets, including those who have departed too soon from this life. They were talking and enjoying themselves, then a strange machine approached them. It seized all his friends except for a handful. They tried to escape but some were not successful. He told me that the dream was very coherent unlike an ordinary dream where everything seems bizarre and convoluted. I am afraid of such dreams. They seem too real. He could not sleep after that. He held his infant daughter close to him for the rest of the night.

I did not have anything to say to Felipe. It was a dream. However, it is really his mind processing what is going on around us. In a way, I was relieved to hear about his anxiety. It makes me feel a little normal. I was afraid that I am exaggerating about the gravity of the situation. I thought maybe I am obsessing too much about it. We have steered clear of the news and the social media. We don’t need to nourish our minds with an unnecessary dose of anxiety. Unfortunately, we can sense it in the air. The city is slowly dying. Thankfully, the gospel is the good news in all situations and circumstances. I prayed and asked God to speak to our souls. This time, He showed me the hands and feet of Jesus.

Jesus wore His wounds as if they were His medals. He showed them to prove His humanity. His disciples had no words to describe someone who returned from the dead, except for a “ghost”. However, it was His hands and feet that proved that He was the still the same Human Being whom they saw suffer and die. His wounds also answered a question that was often asked in the gospels. Sometimes it was the people who were amazed by his teachings asked it. Other times it was the skeptical religious authorities. The question is also the same, “By what authority….?”

The word is quite complicated, then and now. It is often used to dominate people. Our children and teens fear the authority. They always associate it with violence. Jesus was subjected to the worldly authorities and He suffered much violence in their hands. The religious authorities of His time and hereafter used authority to dominate the minds of the people. They made the people feel small and ignorant because they did not possess the knowledge of those in authority. Today, we see this attitude prevalent in the academic circles too. Jesus’ authority was never any of these. His authority comes from a different place. It comes from the wounds of his hands and feet. He suffered like the greater part of humanity and yet, it did not destroy Him. It did not make him into a bitter and unforgiving person. It did not transform Him into something worse than those who inflicted their hatred and violence towards Him.

There is no virtue in suffering. It is just part of our life. It is part of our humanity. We don’t choose to suffer. It comes looking for us. Most of us would like to avoid it if we can. Jesus tried to avoid it too. However, unlike most modern people, Jesus did not avoid the subject of suffering and death. Today, people think it is morbid to speak of death and suffering is avoided altogether. Unfortunately, by doing so, we are depriving ourselves of something that make us more human.
Suffering can help us discover what is truly essential. It can relieve us of all the false notions that we have about ourselves. It could be an opportunity for healing and restoration only if we open ourselves to Love. Jesus, on the Cross, was confronted with two possibilities. These are available to us too. Depending how we respond to suffering, it can be a blessing or a curse. Jesus could have reacted with vengeance. In His case, He would have been completely justified. Instead, He persevered in the midst of the hatred to remain the embodiment of Love. He rejected all thoughts of hatred and violence that provoked Him. He remained in Love until He drew His last breath. He suffered without forsaking His love. This is the greatest victory one could ever have. Jesus came back to show His hands and feet to His disciples. He has gained new authority. He revealed to them that it is possible to suffer great injustice and violence without succumbing to evil. However, it seems like something beyond our reach. We are not the embodiment of Love. We are frail human beings full of contradictions. Thanks be to God, the Resurrected Christ is alive today. He has the authority to guide us through this valley of death. He has the authority to prepare a banquet for us in the midst of a seemingly hopeless situation.

The city is slowly dying. In face of this situation, some have opted to negate reality. They pretend that everything is the same as before at best. At worst, they think that they are invincible and immune to all things bad. By acting this way, they behave in a manner that negates their own humanity. They lack empathy and concern for their neighbors. There are others who asking some deep questions. Some of my friends who have abandoned their faith a long time ago are asking some deep and profound questions. They find themselves turning to Jesus. Recently, there have been many scandals regarding religious leaders who have shamelessly used God’s name for their own gains. All these have not hindered my agnostic friends from seeking Jesus. In fact, it became clearer to them that the Resurrected Christ is greater than the faults of these so-called religious authorities. They see His wounds. They see His hands and feet. They see Hope in Him even though they may not believe in the doctrines of the Church regarding Him. It doesn’t matter. They recognize the authority of Jesus to speak to their lives. He suffered but He never stopped Loving. They find that there is peace in the attitude of Jesus. They don’t their sufferings to change them into monsters. They want to follow the footsteps of Jesus. They want to be like Jesus and show the marks on their own bodies and know that they have become signs of triumph. They want to go through this period of suffering holding the hands of our Shepherd.