A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” – John 20:26-29

St John the evangelist was building up to this moment.

He was the only author of the gospels to give Thomas the apostle a voice. The others just mentioned his name and nothing more. John first introduced this apostle when Jesus insisted on going back to Judea to raise Lazarus. The apostles argued that it was a dangerous move. Everyone was reluctant except Thomas.

“Let us also go, that we may die with him.” John 11:16

He was willing to follow Jesus even though he thought that the whole endeavor was bordering on suicide. On another occasion, Jesus was telling the distraught disciples about leaving to prepare a place for them. This was not enough for Thomas. He wanted to know about this place so that he could be close to Jesus.

“Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” John 14:5

Last but not least, he was the only person in all the gospels to explicitly confess that Jesus is God. While the rest of the apostles were still trying to fathom everything which was happening, Thomas was able to put two and two together. This man was someone who was serious about following Jesus.

This is the portrait John the evangelist painted of this apostle. He was a man of great faith who wanted to follow Jesus without any ambiguities. He was willing to give his all for Christ. Therefore, it is understandable that a secondhand account of the Resurrected Christ would not do for him. He was right. Our faith is too important to rest on the experience of others. It must become something real for us. We need to meet the Risen Christ ourselves. However, Thomas had doubts. They were not necessarily about the resurrection of Jesus. After all, he knew the apostles. No doubt they were his close friends. They had no reason to lie about such an important event. I believe that Thomas had the kind of doubt which most of us experience quite frequently. He wondered if he was still part of this great and wonderful thing Jesus was doing in their midst. He wanted some assurance. In his desperation, he limited how Jesus should reveal Himself. Well, in his case, it worked out. In spite of this, Jesus tells us that this is not going to be always the case. Things are not going to be so obvious.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22

This week we met a young man named Yuri. He was amazed how long we have been around here. He claimed that we knew him when he was a young boy. There was a time when Russian names were popular in Brazil. We know quite a number of “Yuris” and “Igors” and they are about the same age. This particular one I don’t recall ever meeting. Even though he got some details right, I am pretty sure that he has mistaken us for someone else. It is also very possible that my memory is failing me. Maybe this is why he was prompted to ask a follow up question: my age. I told him and he responded saying that I was as old as his grandfather. There are many ways to take this comment but sincerely I felt good about it. It reflects our journey in this place. When I first came to this ministry, we were like older siblings to most of the children. A few years later. we were assuming the role of a parent. Now, we have attained the grandparent status. It feels special and privileged to grow in this same place. It will be really special if we can reach the great-grandparent stage one day.

Bruno was sitting next to us and he asked what it was like when we first came here in nineties. It was a very different world. Needless to say, I was a very different person. I was ready to conquer the world with the help of Jesus, of course. I believed that I aspired to be the male version of Mother Theresa. I thought that I had some magic words which would convince all the homeless children to leave the streets and flock to shelters and homes. I imagined sharing “success” stories to the churches so that they would be impressed with the ministry here. There was definitely lot of ego involved, I admit. However, it was much more than that. I truly believed that I needed to see all these things happening to prove to myself that God was including me in His great plan here. Then I encountered reality and it appeared that God wasn’t cooperating with our plans. Even though I never doubted God’s power, I did end up doubting myself.

I told Bruno that there were about three to five hundred homeless children sleeping right in the spot where we were. He found that hard to believe. It is strange to hear from a homeless youth. Presently we have about a hundred children and teens sleeping in that area: a smaller number, albeit still disturbing. Back then the homeless children seemed poorer and malnourished. Almost all were addicted to crack cocaine. This is another major difference today. None of our children and teens use crack. In fact, they consider it as an insult to call someone a crack addict. Moreover, there was the Aids pandemic and a vast majority of the children were HIV positive. Many died from the disease for a lack of treatment. Violence and murder were also a common occurrence. One of our most heart-rending memories involves helping a mother retrieve the corpse of her murdered daughter from the morgue. Crime was rampant and brutal. No one could walk past the children and teens without being robbed. As I was reminiscing, I noticed a small group of curious teens gathering around to listen to my stories. I really felt like a grandfather now talking about the past. The only difference was that those weren’t the good ole days. Something has changed for the better. I have not noticed it until today.

There are many things in this world which have gone from bad to worse. Many times I have wondered why God is not doing anything concrete. Corruption has become worse. The sense of apathy is steadily growing. Strangely in the midst of all these miseries, the Risen Christ is quietly changing a situation which no one cares about. Since the time we came in the nineties until now, things have gotten better. We overlooked the things He was doing because we were blinded by own expectations. There are less homeless children and teens in the streets now. Death occurs but not at the rate as before. Crime is present but it is not as bad as before. Teenage pregnancy dropped drastically. Before almost all the girls were constantly with child. Now, this is quite rare. The children sniff paint thinner and sometimes glue but this is far better than becoming crack addicts. Most importantly, our relationship with the children and teens is more real and special than before.

In the past, we were so busy trying to treat the problems that we forgot the individual involved. Today, we have learned to see them as individuals first and listen to them as they show us how to walk with them. They have become our children and grandchildren. They have a special place in our hearts.

The Risen Christ is present in this place. I always believed it. However, there is a tendency within us to restrict His actions. We might be so keen on seeing results according to our expectations that we can miss seeing His actions among us. Worse still, we might settle for some mediocre idea of success when the Risen Christ has something far superior in store for us. Thomas did not want to settle for anything less than the Risen Christ. We can appreciate that. We want to be like Thomas in this sense. However, Jesus would like us to be open and see beyond our perceptions and expectations so that we can truly marvel at the wondrous works of our Risen Lord.