“Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of this life, and that day does not catch you unexpectedly, like a trap. For it will come upon all who live on the face of the whole earth. Be alert at all times, praying that you may have the strength to escape all these things that will take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.” Luke 21:34-36

My mother was slipping in and out of consciousness. Unexpectedly, she opened her eyes and asked me if I remembered the time when she waited with me for the school bus. Of course I did. I was a little surprised that she recalled this particular and uneventful episode in this last moment of her life. There was nothing spectacular, no great conversations. We just stood there and waited for the school bus. The driver was always late. I was always bored and restless. My mother was always anxious to get back to her countless tasks waiting at home. Without fail, everyday we went through the same routine. I didn’t think anything of it back then. It wasn’t necessary. My mother took care of everything. I never imagined that this woman would not be with me after I turned 22. Strangely, I do not have many vivid memories of my mother. The thing I remember clearly was shelling beans with her. I was about five. By the time I came along, my mother had acquired the art of delegating duties to the children. There was a wide age gap between my siblings and I. They were in high school and I was the only one idle at home. I remembered it being an endless torture sitting there doing this apparently meaningless task. Today, every single day as I cook, I become that little boy sitting in the kitchen with his mother.

A teenage boy came up to us and shook our hands and acted like he had known us for some time. I do not recall ever meeting him. Finally, I said something about it. “But I know you!”, he responded. “You and your wife used to sit outside the church and wait for us to do something with you.” He added that he was in the juvenile detention center for a while, perhaps this is why we had forgotten about him. Most likely it was because of the fact that he never interacted with us directly. He had just seen us doing the most boring part of our ministry here. Sometimes when we sat there for a long time doing absolutely nothing, I felt like I was wasting precious time. Yet, this young teenager remembers us because of this.

My whole life I have been part of religious traditions (both Roman Catholic and Anglican) which observe the season of Advent. It was a time reminding us that we are a people preparing ourselves for our Lord’s return. The problem is that it is never clear how we go about preparing ourselves. Some people think that it means being aware of the signs of the End. There are a slew of books on this theme. We could waste precious on them. Besides, we have been having these signs since the day Jesus died on the Cross. Furthermore, being well-informed about the signs is not synonymous with being prepared. Jesus is and always will be our example. He spent years preparing Himself for His ministry. It took up a bulk of His life on earth for a ministry lasting a relatively short time. We have no reliable information about this time but there are indications that it was not anything remarkable. The people of his hometown, for example, found it hard to believe that someone as ordinary as Jesus could be the Messiah, even his own family had a hard time with it. Jesus was so engaged in the daily routine things of life that no one expected anything spectacular from this man. The Messiah spent a vast majority of his Life on earth doing mundane things! They became the basis for his parables and teachings. They helped Him connect in a real and concrete way with the people.

There were several occasions in the streets when the teens ask our help with getting their documents. The bureaucracy here gives one a foretaste of purgatory, definitely the devil had an hand in this. Everything which is simple is deliberately complicated for no logical reason. Usually parents here help their children with documents. Our teens do not have this privilege and we are the next best thing. We spent hours in offices with our teens waiting for something which could be done in five minutes. Complaining doesn’t help. It makes matters worse. We just have to sit and endure the monotony. Our teens tend to close up when they are out of their environment. They feel so insecure in these places and even the most outgoing ones become taciturn. On one occasion we were so bored that we were started making up fake background stories of each of the staff who were attending the people. Renan was with us at that time. He found it amusing and joined in the fun. We were laughing so hard that we almost missed his turn. Renan always remembered that moment. He used to talk about it with us even weeks after the fact. It is the most precious memory we have of him. He was murdered a few months later. I am grateful that we had the chance to be with him. It was the only moment where he was no longer a homeless teen but just a regular boy having fun with some adult friends. Thankfully we decided to go with him to do one of the most wearisome things. It turned out to be a gift from God for us.

The Kingdom of God is not like this world. Here we are programmed to be impressed with great and impressive deeds. We find small and so-called insignificant things as obstacles to our greater pursuits. Whereas most of the parables and the teachings of Jesus point to us in the opposite direction. Jesus did not think that thirty years as a carpenter was a waste of his talents. They helped him to become who He was. They gave him the necessary tools to communicate the gospel to the people. The devil wanted Jesus to start big but Jesus chose a humbler route. If we are to prepare for the coming of the Kingdom of God, then we appreciate the seemingly meaningless tasks that we are faced with everyday. These things are always present regardless of what happens in the world. Kingdoms might fall, economies might be completely devastated, and another pandemic might be looming around the corner. None of these things changes the fact that we still need to do the tedious and necessary things of everyday life in order to survive. These are simple things that are often overlooked but they have great potential. They are opportunities to show our love. Our children and teens have tons of people willing to do the “big” deeds. There are groups that are willing to feed all the homeless in the city. There are groups that were activated to help them during the worst moment of the pandemic. However, these things happen but for a season. Sometimes, these seasons linger on a bit longer than we like. However, they are not the things which are etched in the minds of those whom we love. It is everyday tasks that register in the hearts and minds of people. Our children and teens want someone to love them in the everyday things. Perhaps we undervalue these things and do not treat them with the respect and reverence as we should. I am thankful that my mother made me sit down in the kitchen and shell beans with her. She would have never imagined that it would become a symbolic moment that I would carry with me all my life.

Our preparation for the Kingdom of God starts with the small and necessary things in life; in other words, the mundane and boring things. These are moments that Life has given us to show our love to those whom we serve. They are moments for us to reflect on the meaning of love. We should not throw these opportunities away, neither should we rush through them. They might be only opportunities to show our love to those whom God has given us in this life. Our journey towards perfection starts with these things. Jesus Himself said, “Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much.” (Luke 16:10)

As he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher, what large stones and what large buildings!” Then Jesus asked him, “Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.” Mark 13:1-2

In another time and place, I worked with children who had behavioral issues. My job placed me in a private school to work one-on-one with a boy. I was taking a break in the courtyard when a ten year-old girl came up to me with a ball and asked me if I would play catch with her. She was usually shy and quiet and fairly new to the school too. There were tons of children and teachers around but she chose me. I was not a complete stranger. We were renting an apartment from her grandparents. I had seen her several times at their place. I had spoken to her mother on several occasions. I knew a little bit more about her than she realized. She and her sister were adopted. They came from an extremely abusive home. This little girl suffered the most in order to spare her little sister the torment. Consequently, the younger girl came out of the situation more intact than her older sibling.

We played catch for a while and then she wanted to talk. She asked about my work with the homeless children ( I had just completed my time as a lay missionary then) and she shared about things she liked to do. It was a pleasant encounter for me. I knew that she had been a source of pain and suffering for her new family. She had been defiant with her adopted mother and at times she even retaliated with physical violence. It is hard to imagine that this sweet girl was capable of this. She wasn’t pretending to be someone else with me. She was who she was. The problem was that at home, she lost a role that she cherished. This role gave her an opportunity to live out her true identity, despite the cruel circumstances. Now that things have changed for the better she felt lost and useless. She wanted to redeem her role as the protective loving sister. It was a good and selfless role she performed for her sister but that role was no longer necessary. Unfortunately, this little girl did not know how to be a loving sister without the horrible situation. She is an adult now. I hope she has found a way to be who she is despite the changes. She is a good person and has much to offer. I am glad that for a brief moment she shared her gift with me. It will always be with me.

The above gospel reading starts with devastating news. The temple was going to be destroyed. These words must have scandalized and disturbed the disciples. The temple was the center of their identity as a people. It reminded them of their vocation in the world. It was also the symbol of unity. The Jewish people were living in different parts of the Roman world and there were cultural and language barriers between them. Despite their differences, the temple provided a venue where they could be one people again. Besides, the disciples believed that Jesus was the Messiah and they assumed that the temple was going to play a major role in His ministry. Now they are hearing that God would not save the Temple from destruction. The foundation of their identity was to be shaken.

The temple was a symbol of everything good and holy for the people of Israel. Being a protective sister was a symbol of goodness and love for this little girl who only experienced hatred since she was an infant. All of us have something which serves as a symbol of the potential goodness giving us a sense of purpose in life. For me, it is my ministry in the streets. It is the place in this world where I am able to sense God’s presence in a real way. It is my sacramental space. Unfortunately, like anything in this world, one day it will be taken away from me. I do not need to be a prophet to realize this. If anything, this pandemic reminded us how easily this could happen. In fact, during the initial period of the quarantine, a lot of people wondered if this was the end. It wasn’t end. Maybe it was like a prolonged season of Advent imposed upon the world; a time when we prayerfully reflect on the last things.

During this time, I asked myself what remains of me if everything which has helped me define who I am were to be stripped from me. Most likely, it was the question that was going through the minds of the disciples when Jesus predicted the destruction of the temple.

Our children and teens face a tragic dilemma. They live in a precarious situation but at the same time, their identity is derived from this circumstance. The adults who end up in the streets due to some misfortune are not the same as our children. They once had a home and a family. Our children and teens grew up in this environment. Their ethics are constructed in this environment. They know how to be a good person in the streets. Their religious experience occurred in the context of the streets. They understood what it means to love and care for someone here. It is the place where they know what it means to love and be loved. For us, being homeless is our worst nightmare. For our children and teens, all they understand of what is good and lovely comes from their experience in the streets. They have no other reference than their homeless situation. It is a place where they found a group to belong to and if they stop being homeless, then they lose everything which is precious to them. They can’t imagine life without being homeless.

What becomes of us when our whole world falls apart? The worst thing we can do is to try to hold on these symbols that connected us to something good. In this case, these good things can become our idols and they may obstruct us from discovering the One who remains forever with us despite what happens. St Paul gives us the best answer in the New Testament. He knew firsthand what it meant to lose everything which defined him as a person. His reflections on the subject left us with these beautiful words which are comforting and relevant in all times.

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

I can not guarantee myself that one day when I have to stop doing what I find to be meaningful and wonderful that life will be better. I cannot promise the children and teens that when they eventually leave the streets, they are going to be accepted into society or their suffering will be diminished. Most likely life will become harder for them. The only thing we know is that nothing constructed by our hands lasts forever. The disciples believed that the temple was based on God’s design and even then, it did not endure the test of time. Therefore, we need to place our hopes in the only thing remaining when our world falls apart. I believe life is a journey of construction and deconstruction. Each time we rebuild our lives we take a step closer in discovering the One who is always there. Each phase helps us to build our identity in the One who is able to raise us again and again. It is not something which we can teach the children and teens. It has to be lived.

There was a time when Bruno was almost adopted by an American couple. He was about ten. His mother had given him up officially to the orphanage which meant he was legally eligible for adoption. The couple came all the way from the States to spend a month with him. They specifically chose him because they wanted an older boy. Despite the language barrier, they were able to transmit a sense of warmth and kindness to him. They showed pictures of their home and Bruno thought that it looked like something from a movie. Everything seemed perfect and idyllic. Brazilian Law requires that any child above the age of eight to give consent for their own adoption. A judge visited with Bruno and tried to convince him that his life would be much better if he decided to live with these nice people. He felt pressured to give his consent but he just couldn’t do it. He stood his ground and said, “no” even though he really liked the people. He still remembers their faces. I asked why he refused to go with them. He said he was convinced that his mother would eventually come for him one day which never happened.

As far as he could remember, his mother always tried to abandon him. Once he fell asleep on the bus and his mother decided to leave him there. He got off at the terminal and found his way home despite his disjointed sense of direction. Needless to say, his mother was disappointed. Every time she tried to abandon him, he always found his way back. During his stay at the orphanage, she moved and broke all ties with him. It was then he realized that he was completely lost. This was the turning point which brought him to streets.

He was laughing when he shared this apparently tragic episode of his life. The other teens listening to this conversation did the same. They chimed in with their own stories about their parents doing the same. They too always found their way back home and now they too are lost in the streets. We might imagine that these parents are cruel and irresponsible people. To be honest, it is just a tragic situation. Some of these parents really believed that their children might have a better life in the streets than with them. I have heard people say this. In many situations, they are right. There is also the issue of mental illness. A large number of our children and teens have at least one parent with mental illness. When we add extreme poverty to the mix, it becomes a perfect recipe for a tragic tale.

I asked Bruno if he regretted his decision about his adoption. He still believes that he made the right choice. He just finds it hard to believe that complete strangers would accept him when his own mother did not want him. He is not the only one. I heard others who had similar opportunities say the same thing. It is not that they did not want to be in a loving home and environment. They yearned for that. However, they could not imagine that anyone would be willing to love them especially when their own parents had abandoned them in the woods. Unfortunately, most of them believe that they are indirectly responsible for being rejected, or worse, being unlovable. They carry this weight in their soul and yet, they don’t really know how to be relieved from this heavy burden.

I asked Bruno if he is happy with his life. He smiled and responded that if I had asked this question a few years ago, he would have told some lies about it. Now he feels comfortable with the truth. He said that a few days ago he went to Felipe’s house. Davi, Felipe’s two year old son ran up to him and sat on his lap while the boy’s father prepared a dinner plate for him. He sat there thinking, “I have a family now. It is not perfect but at least I am wanted here.”

It took us a long time to understand what Bruno meant. These children and teens have been inflicted with a deep wound of rejection. The streets is where rejected people end up in this city. The children, however, cannot shake off their innate desire to be part of a family; to feel protected and loved unconditionally. They try to cultivate something of a family with the other children and teens. After some time, they form a community among themselves. It is far from perfect and many times convoluted, perhaps like many so-called normal families. Despite everything, we cannot deny that there exists genuine love among them. Their relationship with each other is an important aspect in their lives and identity. Felipe and Bruno used to share drugs together before. This was their initial bond. Now, Felipe shares his home with Bruno. In return, Bruno, who spends his day begging, buys food and hygiene supplies for them. He doesn’t do this because he feels obliged. He does it because he wants to contribute something to his family.

The children and teens took what was given to them and built a family that would help them move forward in life. Perhaps, what they consider forward might seem inadequate for the mass majority of us. We have constructed our world and ideas of successes and failures from different building blocks. Our homeless youth’s foundation had their start in life from a negative foundation; rejection. Nevertheless, it did not turn into something bitter and full of hatred, albeit a small minority have take this road. Most of them used their common experience to nurture a bond to help them face this harsh world.

They have invited us to be part of this family too, in spite of the fact that we do not share their devastating sense of rejection. We hope to bring something positive to their relationship. In a strange way, the Pandemic helped to strengthen our connection with them. During the months of isolation, the children and teens were our only contact with the world. When our world seemed to disintegrate, God used these children and teens to bring balance and healing to our souls. Perhaps, this helped the most. The teens saw that we could receive something from them. This is part of what it means to be in a family. We give and receive from each other. In a sense, this is the acceptance that the teens are searching for in the streets. They want to know that they too can give something valuable to this world.

Jesus sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

I came home from the streets a little unsettled. The day had seemed fruitful. I had some good conversations with Daniel. Unfortunately, he was using a certain kind of inhalant drug which has caused the deaths of many teens. Obviously, it disturbed me. I asked him to go for a walk with me but without the drug. He threw it away immediately and we went to get something to eat. The effects of the drug wore off fast. We had a good talk but I was still disturbed that Daniel was using something which could kill him.

I went on to meet the other kids. Sabrina was sitting on her own and she told me that the others were around. I left her there and when to look for them. Eventually Bruno come back and so did Jean and a new boy whose name I did not have the chance to find out. A fight broke out between the two younger boys. Bruno made a feeble effort to break it up. Usually, we do not get involved unless someone’s life is in danger. They were fighting over something trivial like two silly boys. Nevertheless, it was a little unnerving. Eventually, they got tired and stopped. I talked with Bruno for a while. We had a good conversation but I was still feeling little uneasy over the whole scene. One might think that I would be used to this. Thankfully, I am not. I do not want to treat violence as something normal. On the way home, I met Felipe. He was nearby because of his work. I haven’t had any quality time with him since he moved. We talked for a while. By the time, I got home it was late. It had been a full day.

I should have been happy with the day. I had many fruitful contacts despite some unpleasant things. However, I still had this troubling thought that I missed something valuable. It only came to me much later, after a night’s sleep. I completely overlooked Sabrina. She was there in her usual quiet manner doing something special. I allowed my mind to be distracted by the fight and the drugs. This is the problem when our minds do not know what to seek for, we allow secondary things to dominate our thoughts. We miss out on the important details, in my case, it was Sabrina.

I have read this gospel story many times. More often than not, I tend to focus on the obvious; the difference in attitude between the wealthy contributors and the widow. My present “congregation” has no wealthy people, well at least not in the material sense of the word. However, it does not mean that this story is not applicable. The attitude of the wealthy is present and alive among the homeless youth. In the streets, there are some teens who engage in criminal activities, not all, but the majority unfortunately. Most of them will admit that is not necessary. However, it gives the attention that they crave, albeit not positive. They would rather have this than be completely invisible. The wealthy in the gospel story used their wealth to assert their presence and some of the teens use crime. Then, there are those who remain invisible to the world. They too desire to be part of something greater than themselves but are unsure if they have a place. In this reality, you have to promote yourself in order to make something of yourself. However, the Kingdom of God is not of this world. The Good Shepherd sat in a strategic location in the temple. He was in an excellent place to observe everything. The usual suspects were there asserting their presence. He waited for the widow. His mind was not fashioned by this world. He sought the invisible ones first. Unfortunately, I can not say the same for myself. I was distracted by the things of the world. My attention went to the ones who made the loudest noise. It is not easy. We live in this world and we cannot resist thinking like this world.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

When I saw Sabrina alone, she was tearing a blank page out of Bruno’s notebook. While the boys were busy fighting, she was drawing a flower and then proceeded to shade it with her pencil because she did not have any color pencils. She was so involved in her art that she hardly looked up when the boys were physically going at each other. She wanted some peace and quiet and she wasn’t going to allow the chaos around her to distract her. We met her for the first time a couple years ago. She had just arrived to the streets then. I remembered her innocence. It almost made her look vulnerable and lost in the streets. It made us feel concerned that she might be dreadfully exploited in the streets. She quietly sat next to us and started coloring. She introduced herself to us as Sabrina. Immediately, the image of Sabrina the Teenage witch from the Archie comics came to my mind. Sounds a little banal. The name is not common here. After this, we never saw her again. We hoped that perhaps she went home.

She reappeared about a month ago. She ran up and gave me a hug. She was genuinely happy to see me. Her first question was whether I remembered her name. It took me a few seconds and then I said, “Sabrina!” It brought a smile to her face. It was sheer luck really. I am ashamed to say that the only reason why I remembered her name because of the comic book character. I was never into comics! Anyway, she looked different now. She tried going back to her family and something brought her back to the streets. Her arms were now covered with tattoos. However, she still maintained her childlikeness. Obviously she liked art. Some of the children and teens have a special relationship with art. Something that someone pragmatic like myself might find it hard to fully comprehend. However, for these young people, it helps them to connect with something greater than themselves. Sabrina was involved in drawing when there was chaos around her. She was like the widow. In the midst of those people depositing large amount of money in the treasury, the widow was determined to contribute her humble gift so that she too could participate something greater than herself. No one noticed her except Jesus. Jesus noticed Sabrina too. On the other hand, I was too busy being distracted but thankfully, it is not too late.

The next day we put together some coloring books and a bag of colored pencils for her. I was going to give them to her. I went to the streets excited but she wasn’t around. I waited for her a while but she did not show up. I wasn’t disappointed. I felt like my eyes were opened. Jesus sat in a position to observe the people whom the world overlooks. He did not allow the values and drama of this world to distract him. He searched for the widows and orphans. I eventually went around looking for the other children and a young boy, Gabriel, came up to me. He never interacted with me before. He wanted to tell me about his fear of bees. Of course, it wasn’t about bees. A new door was being opened for me. Unknowingly, Sabrina was the key. There are tons like her around. They are always unnoticed. However, Jesus always notices them. He does not let his mind get distracted. It is good for us to renew our minds and see things the way He sees them.

He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. I Kings 19:11-12

Nobody was around. I was a little early. Not exactly early. It was about three in the afternoon.
Lately the children don’t come up until much later. This is part of many subtle changes in the center. The city is slowly trying to resume her regular activities. Everyone is trying to get into some sort routine not unlike before the pandemic. It will take a while before we fully comprehend the new normal. There are some depressing signs. The city center looks abandoned. Lots of stores are closed and some buildings show signs of deterioration. Many people have died including business owners. People like to point out which stores had owners who met with a tragic end. It is a conversational topic nowadays. Even on my way to the street, I saw a newsstand with a sign saying that the owner has passed away. He was only in his forties. I used to exchange greetings with him. For our children and teens, the major change is the scarcity of food. There is still an abundance of food but it is not accessible to everyone. There used to be many groups delivering food to the homeless several times a day. Now the homeless have to wait until six in the evening to eat. Most of the children would rather stay down under the bridge until then. Every evening a spiritualist group feeds the homeless. They have been doing this for years. It is part of their religious belief. It has something to do with creating positive karma. They do not interact with the people. They fear that interaction might be perceived as a reward for their good works. They want to save it for the afterlife. It is very possible that I am oversimplifying their doctrine. All the same, I am just grateful for them. They ensure that the homeless get at least one hot meal a day. For the moment, it is the only meal for most of them.

Sometimes the children ask us to buy them some food. We are their last resort. They have a different kind of relationship with us which they don’t want to change. They consider it humiliating to beg for food or money. They would rather do it with someone with whom they don’t have any relationship. Everything is compartmentalized in the minds of our children and teens. Certain people are for certain things. They beg from complete strangers. They receive food donations from certain groups. There are social workers who deal only with medical issues. Then there are those who provide blankets and even temporary shelter on cold days. Most of these people have a limited relationship with these children. They are restricted by their jobs and their task. Nevertheless, they play an important role and in a way, they free us up too. They give us an opportunity to occupy a different space with these young people. We do not have anything defined. This is intentional. Sometimes a newcomer to the street will ask us for money and the older teens will let him or her know, “Uncle Stephen and Aunty Mary are not the kind of people for these things. They are here for different purpose.” No one can really say what is our purpose exactly. It evolves with our relationship with them. We play a different role with each child. When the children are really young, we spend time with them and allow them to have their childhood. Other times, we accompany them to the doctors when they don’t feel well. We celebrate their birthdays. As they grow older, they want us to accompany them to get their documents. They call us when they need help with a job. They even use our address in their job applications. Most of the time, they like to talk about things in general. We allow them to be curious about life and God. They can ask questions without being feeling embarrassed or stupid. When they become young adults, they want us to accompany them in their journey. It is a scary world for them and they want someone who understands them to be with them without any judgment. These are new grounds for us. It is the first time we are walking with them as adults. Now, we have a new role added. We are their last resort when they cannot find any food. Whenever we buy them a meal, we sit and talk with them. We want it to be like friends having a meal together. In this way, we keep our previous roles intact and do not let them be absorbed by the present crisis. Besides it gives us another opportunity to enjoy their presence. After all, this is the essence of breaking bread together.

It seems like every time I come to the streets, I don’t know what will happen. We cannot program anything in the streets. The children and teens are free. They are free to be with us or ignore us. Most of the time we just sit and wait. Usually, I don’t have to wait long. Someone comes over and sits with us. Sometimes in the moments of waiting, I hear God’s voice. I was hoping that it would be the case this time. Sure enough, I heard a voice calling out my name. Of course, it wasn’t God, well, at least not directly. It was Kawanna. She gestured for me to come over. Just around the corner where I was sitting, there was a small patch of grass. We hardly go to this area because the children rarely hang out here. However, today there were about thirty of them. All new faces from eight to twelve devouring sandwiches which Erica frantically was preparing for them. She was about their age when we first met her. Now she is twenty and taking the role of a mother figure. It would have made a perfect picture if I was that kind of person who took pictures. I am not so these words will have to do. Kawanna commented that all these children just showed up in the midst of the Pandemic. Unfortunately, there are more. They are elsewhere wandering around the center. These children have run away to the streets in the worst possible time. I can’t imagine what they were escaping. I was looking at their faces. Some of them looked like rascals but all of them had their innocence intact. Unfortunately, things will change for many of them. They will learn to do everything that it takes to survive. Some may not make it even though I hope to God that they all do. Miracles still do happen.

When we came here in 2013, there was a large of group of children freshly arrived to the streets. Daniel, Ruan, Dreyson, Alex, Guilherme, Aline, Vanessa, Wanderson and many more were among them. Most of them are twenty or older now. Almost all of them made it. I was about to write everyone until I remembered a few faces who met tragic ends. This first group are young adults now but in our minds they are still children. Now, we are in a different phase in our relationship with them. I wonder how things are going to turn out with these new lads. I was looking at them when one of the boys made eye contact with me. He held up his sandwich and asked me if I wanted to share it with him. “Not today but maybe one day soon we will break bread together.”

Then the scribe said to Jesus, “You are right, Teacher; you have truly said that ‘He is one, and besides Him there is no other’; and ‘to love Him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the strength,’ and ‘to love one’s neighbor as oneself,’—this is much more important than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” When Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” After that no one dared to ask him any question. Mark 12:32-34

I was sitting outside a bank on the ground with a cat on my lap and next to me a sign, “Need Help for Food!” The teens were sitting next to me. There were tons of people passing by and I was feeling a little self conscious. An old man looked curiously at the cat. It is a new addition to the group. One day, one of the boys found it snuggling up next to him under the bridge. It appeared out of nowhere and took refuge among the children. It was a miracle that it safely crossed two busy roads to get to the children. No one knows why the cat was there but now it is part of their family. Besides, it also helps to have an animal when begging. One of the boys asked the old man for some change. Instead he snarled some rude comment and walked away. The boy became quiet for moment. It was obvious that he was offended. Then he turned around and said, “I know that no one is obliged to give us any money but why do they have to say such things?” I did not have an answer. He was right. It was completely unnecessary and cruel.

Then a young woman passed by and took an interest in the cat too. The same boy asked her for something. She did not say anything. Then the boy said, “Why do you keep looking at the cat if you are not going to help?” Immediately, he looked at me and laughed. He realized what he did. He had done exactly what the old man did. He was embarrassed about it. It wasn’t necessary for me to say anything. I needed to use the restroom so I left the children for a moment. When I returned, someone had given the same boy a plate of hot steaming food. He was dividing it up to share with the others. He set aside a generous portion and went out looking for Henrique. He was in a different corner begging for food. He wanted to make sure that everyone received a portion of the food even though a few minutes ago he had told me that he had not eaten anything the whole day. I was almost going to buy something for them but I am glad that I waited. The boy told me that this elderly lady comes by everyday and gives them food that she cooks for them. Henrique added that she hardly says anything but she always remembers them.

I don’t know anything about this woman but I have seen her before. She looks like a timid person but she was determined to show some love and tenderness to these children. The teens speak of her affectionately. I even heard once one of the boys tell her, “We appreciate your kindness.” These are not mere words. Her actions have inspired them to be kind and generous with each other. On the hand, the rude remark of the old man did not do anything but foster anger and bitterness. I do not know anything about her religious background but she definitely has represented the Love of God to these children and if course, the cat benefits, too.

The gospel text is an interesting one. The story itself reflects a light in the midst of darkness. The religious authorities were trying to entrap Jesus to say something contradictory. However, there was one scribe among them who had eyes and ears to see and hear that Jesus was different. His question was not an attempt to push Jesus into a corner. He wanted to know if Jesus truly grasped the essence of the Law. Perhaps, he wanted Jesus to confirm what he was discovering himself. The most powerful words of this man were his realization that these two commandments were more important than burnt offerings and sacrifices. Perhaps for modern people like us, this statement does not impact us so much. We live in a time where rituals and rites do not define our cultural outlook nor identity. In Jesus’ time, a statement like this was considered a taboo. It was considered an attack on the things which unify the nation. The whole episode reveals a shift in defining the characteristics of our identity in God.

“If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:1-3

When I was a parish priest, I considered myself as a Rite 1 priest (Episcopalians will understand). To be honest, I liked the 1928 Book of Common Prayer. To those who are not part of the Anglican tradition, it means that I was very traditional liturgically. I wasn’t always like that. I grew up with a more contemporary style of liturgy. I was even part of the Charismatic Movement which means I spoke in tongues. Later on, I was inspired by the Franciscan Order, especially its vow of simplicity. I was really into classical theology. Now, sitting with these children and teens outside the bank, I realized that none of these things are going to help me show love to them. They mean nothing to these teens. I am not saying that these things are useless. The traditional liturgy and classical theology are excellent tools if they reveal to us how to love our neighbors. I believed that they helped me communicate God’s love when I was in a certain parish but now many parishes have changed venue. I need new tools. I have to learn to put aside my old ones and listen to God to show me how to love these young people. Without God, it is impossible to love them in a way in which we can grow together.

In many ways, things are simpler now for me. Jesus has made it simple but far from being easy. It is easy to talk about liturgy or theology or politics. We can even have a spirited conversation about these things but it is not necessarily love. Loving someone is intentional. It also demands our time. A friend of mine once commented that he used to be part of a group which fed the homeless regularly. He thought it was an easy and gratifying experience until one day a homeless person started engaging him. He realized that listening to him was hard. He realized that he had to feign interest when he just wanted to hand over the food and leave. Now he had to give his time. This was when he realized that he was feeding the homeless without any genuine interest in them as people.

There is a saying, “Preach the gospel always, use words if necessary.” Unfortunately, it has become a cliché over the years. Allegedly, St Francis said these words. I am not sure about that. There is a legend about him traveling thousands of miles to preach the gospel to a sultan. Obviously he did use words quite often. It is impossible not to talk about Love when we encounter it. I do understand to what these words allude. We have heard lots of empty words spoken in this world. However, this only makes it more important that we talk about genuine love when we encounter it. There are tons of people who give something to these children but they only talk about this woman who hardly says anything to them. It is impossible not to talk about love. If we experience the love of God in our hearts, then it is impossible not to share it with those around us. Nevertheless, we need to learn to use the right tools to share His love.

Every time, I get up to leave to go home, the teens thank me. I often thought that it was strange. Most of the time I have done nothing for them. I just sit and talk with them. Today, Henrique came up to me and shook my hand. It was a simple gesture but a little unusual for him. He hardly talks to me. In fact, we have known him since was a tiny lad. Now he is almost six feet tall and only 15. He smiled at me in an appreciative way. For some reason, it made my day. Perhaps, there was an environment of Love in the place. The initial remark of hatred could not smother the power of eternal Love manifested in the silent old woman.

Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all.” Mark 10:42-44

Someone asked me recently if our ministry with the homeless youth was difficult. Well, the answer is a “Yes” and “No”. The part which most people think is difficult is usually not. Many imagine that our teens would be closed and hostile. In reality, they are very open, even those who are deeply involved in crime. It is a rarity to meet someone who is completely hardened and hostile in the streets. Even the most seasoned criminal is open to us. Of course, there is the violence. It is always looming around the corner but it doesn’t occur as often as one expects. Nevertheless, the fact that the possibility is greater here than elsewhere creates a certain stress. However, we, human beings, have great capacity to adapt. It doesn’t mean that we are accustomed to scenes of violence. Our children and teens are not accustomed to it. It disturbs them too. We just adapt to this reality and become more aware of its threatening presence. It is not difficult but it is not easy either.

Perhaps the most difficult part of our ministry is not easy to identity. With so many immediate needs present among the homeless children, it is hard to discern the real obstacle between us. Nevertheless, the more time we spend with the children and teens, the more we become aware of this distance between us and the children. The reality is that we are from two completely different worlds and it is almost impossible to reconcile them.

We have many things in common with the homeless adults. Most of them shared the same childhood experiences as us. They grew up in a home. It may have been dysfunctional but the structure was there. Most of them once held regular jobs and participated in the life of society. They developed their identity as individuals within the same framework as we did. Then something happened tondeconstruct their whole existence and they became homeless. Many say is their addiction but this is just the symptom, not the cause. Nevertheless, I can easily communicate with the homeless adults when they are not drunk of course. We share the same vocabulary and references. The adults and I derived our understanding of reality from similar foundations. This is not the case with our children and teens.

The homeless children’s life began with a rejection, not acceptance. They were rejected in some shape or form by their families. They felt this rejection in such a strong way that prompted them to abandon their families. Something which goes against the nature of your average child. Usually, children feel secure when they are close to their family. Our children had to distance themselves from their family in order to be safe. Unlike us, they could not construct their personal identity in a structured environment. They were forced to build it among people who are rejected and invisible to society. They had to gather up “scraps” here and there in order to discover their space in this world whereas most of us had a path designed for us to pursue. Our children and teens were given the leftovers and there wasn’t much. However, despite all of this, most of them have done an incredible job.

As a result, we have two different ways of looking at life and solving the problems confronting us.
The way we see a solution to a problem may not be necessarily obvious to the homeless children and teens. Most importantly, they may not be convinced these solutions would work for them. The things we have as priorities may not hold the same weight for them. Consequently, we may judge them as being inapt or clueless about life. However, their life experiences have taught them to employ different tools to confront their problems.
Most people, when they hear of homeless children and teens, think that they should brought to a shelter or an orphanage. We think they should not be alone without any adult guidance. There are many groups, both religious and non-religious, who operated on this principle and have opened up shelters. None of our children and teens go to these places. The idea of being in a closed place surrounded by adults reminds them of the trauma they experienced. Felipe lived in the streets since he was eight. He escaped from a household of violence. In the streets, he found peace among the other children. They became his refuge. The people who abused him in the streets were the police and other adults. These only served to reinforce his idea of authority. The words of Jesus from the above gospel text is good news to these children and teens. They don’t want God to be like the authoritative figures in their lives. It appears as if Jesus understood and spoke the language of our teens.

Personally, I find these words of Jesus to be tough. It is not that I want to be a tyrant and enforce my views upon our children. None of us desire to be tyrants. Instead I would rather be the nice guy who keeps insisting on telling the kids what is best for their lives. In reality, the ways of this world are deeply rooted in us. Our idea of being a servant still contains an authoritative tone. Jesus had a different approach. In the gospels, whenever an ill or physically disabled person was brought to Jesus, He always asked them what they wanted. Sometimes I thought that it was obvious. Nevertheless, Jesus never assumed that he knew what people needed. He allowed the people to inform him of their needs. Then He acted upon their request and refrained from giving them tips to avoid future mishaps. Maybe in one or two occasions He told the people not to sin anymore. They were quite specific situations. In general, Jesus refrained from imposing His ideas. Instead He was a servant who listened to those whom He served.

There are days when I am in the streets and I feel completely useless. Usually it is when nothing good nor bad happens; just a normal day in the streets among the homeless. I have normal conversations and feel a little unsettled in my spirit. I sense an internal pressure to do something more concrete. It was the way I was taught; we always have to be doing something to prove our worth. I was talking to Bruno about something uninteresting and then he mentioned something about Felipe. It has been a couple of weeks since I have seen him. We planned to meet a week ago but the rain postponed it. Bruno said that Felipe was asking about me. Then he decided to be direct. “You should go and see him, he misses you!” It is not that I have been avoiding him. We stay in the streets later now and I get a little tired to go over to Felipe’s house. I promised I would go the next day. Just before I left, Bruno asked me when I was coming to see him again. He always asks me this question. Not just him, I realized that the other children and teens do the same. I heard this question so many times but I never paid attention to it. They were communicating to me what is most important to them while I was fussing over being useless.

A servant listens to those whom one serves. Jesus wants us to be servants. This is good news in a world where no one listens to anyone. Everyone thinks that they know what the other should do or say. Everyone thinks that they know what needs to be done in order for things to get better. Jesus does not want His disciples to be like everyone. He wants us to be different. It is not easy to be different. I realized that Jesus does not want me to be telling our children and teens how to be successful in this life. This is not their priority. They want something else. They want someone to love them despite the fact that we might be from two different worlds. They want to us to just enjoy them. I decided that I was going to listen to Jesus and learn to be a servant who enjoys the people God has put in our lives. Felipe and Bruno and the other teens just enjoy us for being there. They don’t expect anything from us beside this. For them, knowing someone loves them is important for them to have the courage to move forward. They don’t need me to make life easy for them. They just want me to love them. A good servant listens.

Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the good news, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this age—houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.” Mark 10:29-30

He was already unconscious when we arrived. It must have just happened. The children and teens were standing around him looking a little helpless. Some of the social workers were on their phones. I assumed that they were calling for emergency services. I was trying to figure out the identity of the young man. From the side, he looked like Felipe. He was about the same age. Thankfully, I could be sure that he wasn’t him. Felipe is with his family in a home far away from all these things which were once part of his life. I caught a glimpse of his face, his lips were bluish and he was motionless. In their desperate attempt to do something, one of the teens pleaded with him to open his eyes. I feared the worst. From experience, we knew the ambulance would take a while to arrive. A couple of kids were proactive and ran to the fire station across the street to get help. I saw the firefighters approaching. They didn’t seem to be in a hurry and much less enthused. Only on TV and in the movies do we see paramedics rushing to the scene to rescue the victim. In my experiences, most of the time they are like these firefighters approaching the young man. They just confirmed what we knew instinctively. They went through the motions of trying to revive him. It wasn’t very convincing. The ambulance came sooner than expected. They didn’t do anything except put the young man on the stretcher. From the way they acted everyone knew that it was too late. I asked the children and teens whether they knew his name. No one knew his name. He had been in the streets for a while. He ran away to the streets from an orphanage a few years ago and then his sister tried to take him in. He managed to stay with her for a few years. Recently he came back to the streets and now he is gone. No one knew his name. It was apparent that his death did not affect them that much. No one seemed to be moved by it. He was even an invisible person among the invisible people. As things slowly calmed down, we noticed Camila standing among the crowd. She did not recognize us at first because of our masks. Then she greeted us with her characteristic smile. It has been more than two years since we last saw her.

I remember clearly our last conversation. We ran into her by chance. She was very pregnant then. She was concerned about living conditions. She wanted a safe place for her child. She was a squatter in an abandoned mansion near where we live. She did not like her situation and was hoping to find a job and eventually rent a place. She went back to school and was doing everything possible to improve herself. It wasn’t easy. The father of her child comes from a large family of orphans who spent their whole life homeless. However, like Camila, he was also making every effort to better his life. We never met him but we know some of his sisters. Before we said goodbye, we tried to give her a small gift. She refused to accept it. She did not want money from us because for her, we had a different kind of relationship. She receives charity from strangers but not us. I had to explain to her that it was customary to give gifts to an expectant mother. Since we weren’t able to buy her any gifts, she should use the money to buy something herself and the baby. Finally, she agreed and accepted our gift. It is strange that we hardly had any contact with Camila before and yet she has a special place in her heart for us. In reality, modesty apart, we don’t deserve this place. I will explain why.

We met her only for a brief moment eight years ago. She was fifteen then. At the time, we were trying to reach a group of hostile and unfriendly teens and children. They were steeped in a life of crime and practically closed to anyone outside their circle. Sometimes we would have to endure hours being ignored by them. Many times I wondered whether we were wasting our time with this group. Camila was part of this group. When we met her, she had escaped from the juvenile detention center. Well, not exactly escaped. She was given a weekend pass and she decided not to return. We spoke for less than ten minutes and that was it. Eventually, she was caught and brought back to the detention center. We did not see for at least three years until one day we saw this tall elegant girl come to us and give us a hug. She had grown and matured. She has paid for all her crimes which were mainly petty crimes. She told us that she was getting all her documents and was going to register to go to school. She promised herself that she was going to avoid all criminal activities. Then she hugged us and thanked us for all our help and concern. We told her that she was confusing us with someone else because we hardly did anything. She disagreed.

Over the years we ran into her several times and each time, we saw her making some progress. At one time, she had a part time job but unfortunately, the business did not do well. On other occasion, she was washing cars at stoplights to earn some money. She always said that she was determined not to follow in the footsteps of her mother or the rest of her family. We never had the chance to ask about her family. Apparently, she couldn’t depend on them in this world. She was an orphan.

Seeing her smiling face brought some light after this tragic scene. She said that she wanted to introduce us to someone special. She called out for Gael and a healthy looking two year old came running up to her. He was a handful, she said. She was constantly on the lookout for him as she talked with us. She was alone again. Unfortunately, the child’s father decided to go back to a life of crime. She would not have any of it. She was raising Gael as well as her sister’s son on her own. Her sister is a drug addict and Camila wasn’t going to let her nephew be exposed to that lifestyle. Things have been hard for her and now she was going to lose her place where she was a squatter. She has to find a new place to live immediately. We told her that we could help with her rent if she found a place. She thanked us but it was apparent that she wasn’t going to ask for our help. In her mind, we were for there for her for different reasons. Maybe she did not want us to think that she was trying get money out of us. Maybe she did not want money to change the nature of our relationship.

Camila turned 23 a week ago. We have been thinking a lot about her. We got in touch with Camila and I asked how she was doing for housing. She said that she found a tiny room for rent. She managed to find money to pay the first month’s rent which was absurd for the space. However, she did not have money to get a truck to move her stuff. She was carrying things bit by bit to her new place. We offered to help her with the move. She accepted because she was getting a little desperate.

I met her in front of a church near our house. The name of the church is quite symbolic. It is called the Parish of the Consolation. Our neighborhood bears the name. Camila moved closed to our neighborhood. Incidentally, it is the same place where we meet Felipe since he left the streets. Now we are meeting Camila here. I had some time to ask about her family. Her mother’s passing led her to the streets. She never knew her father and all her older brothers and sisters are drug addicts. She is truly an orphan in this world. Thankfully, our Lord consoles those who are orphans in this world. We too are orphans in this city. We have no relatives nor children. Camila and Felipe and all the rest of the children and teens have filled that void in our lives. We talked for a while and Camila left knowing that she does not have to be alone in this world. I left thinking that God has given us another family member.

“For everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good; but if salt has lost its saltiness, how can you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.” Mark 9:49-50

Ⅰ

There appears to be more homeless people in wheelchairs now. Most of them are amputees. Maybe they have always been around and only now I am beginning to notice them. This is the problem with invisible people. They live in the shadows and we need to have our eyes and ears opened in order to notice their presence. This time, it was a man maybe a few years younger than me. He gestured with his hands for me to come over. It was strange because he really acted like he knew me. This did not happen in the area where we work with the children. It was in front of a grocery store in my neighborhood. I have never seen this man before. I instinctively dug into my pockets to make sure that I had something to give to him. I just assumed that he was going to ask for some change. I am guilty of having preconceived ideas. However, before I could do or say anything, he asked, “Do you have a stove at home?” It was definitely not what I expected to hear. It was such a random question that I wasn’t sure how to answer him. I was trying to figure the motive behind the question. Did he want me to donate a stove? That’s completely absurd but the thought did cross my mind. My reaction must have amused him. He quickly explained that someone had given him a packet of fresh corn on the cob and he wanted to give it to me. He did not have the means to cook it as he slept in a tent in a square nearby. He was holding onto to it so that he could give to someone like me. There were tons of people passing by and I wondered why he thought I was the best candidate. I asked how does he get his sustenance. He replied that he usually eats in a cheap restaurant that serves food for under a couple of dollars. It is run by the city. There used be an abundance of these restaurants. Unfortunately, most of them were closed recently and only a small handful remain. I offered to pay for his meal and even something more. He smiled and said, “Today I want to give you something and I wasn’t expecting anything in return.” I assured him that he has given something very special.

Ⅱ

This happened sometime back, not too long ago, during the worse period of the pandemic. Most of the restaurants were closed and there were hardly people in the center of the city where the homeless slept. Consequently, their food source became scarce. We met with Kawanna and Erica to help them buy some groceries. The children and teens were cooking over makeshift kerosene stove. The whole process was quite complicated for the teens and some of them gave up sniffing paint thinner so that they could focus on making food for everyone. Only some did this and Kawanna and Erica were two of them. We were talking when a homeless man stood close by trying desperately to get our attention. Again, I thought that he wanted some financial aid. I acknowledged his presence and told him that I would talk with him after the girls were gone. However, he insisted on speaking to all of us. He was very polite about it. He apologized profusely for interrupting and wanted to know if we would be offended if he gave us some things. He had a bag full of groceries. He told us that people have been giving him canned food and packages. Since he has no means of cooking them, he has been keeping them so that he could share it with someone else. He thought that we were the best candidates. The girls happily accepted them. Then he got excited and went back to his tent and brought out several packages of cooked food. He told us that he hasn’t touched any of them. He wanted to us to know everything was clean. Someone gave it him but he has already had his meal. He wanted us to take it and maybe give it to someone who really needs it. I had a feeling if we had remained that he would have even offered his tent. He was delighted to be able to share something he received. He thanked us and went back to his tent.

Ⅲ

This happened before the pandemic. We were sitting in our usual place where we meet the children and teens. The area is tourist attraction too because of the Cathedral, majestic in the middle of the square. At the same time, it is a place for the down and out to pass their day. Besides the homeless, there are criminals who sit and wait for their next unsuspecting prey. It is not a good place to take selfies but people do anyway and end up losing everything in the process. There are hundreds of people who transit through this area and most of them don’t like to delay too much except for the imprudent tourists. A woman was passing through, taking all the necessary precautions. She was obviously not comfortable here. To make things worse a homeless man started yelling at her. He was trying to get her attention. She hastened her steps to get out of the area as soon as possible. Finally, the man ran after her. It was interesting that hardly anybody paid attention to this scene. Maybe because the homeless man was part of the invisible group and no one really pays attention to them in this area. He caught up to her and gently tapped on her shoulder. You can imagine her reaction. She must have thought that she was the next victim of a robbery but instead he handed something to her. It was her wallet. She had dropped it in her hurry to get to wherever she was going. From her reaction, it was obvious that she had much to lose if he had not found her wallet. We could make out that he was explaining to her where she dropped it. She was so grateful that she wanted to give him some money. The man refused anything from her. He turned around and went back to his usual place where he sits. He did not do it for money even though he did not have any. No doubt he will get his money elsewhere but this little thing he did, he didn’t want to be tainted with an ulterior motive. It was his gift to this woman. No one saw what he had done. He didn’t care. He was invisible to the world. However, we were blessed to have witnessed this whole scene.

I don’t know the names of these homeless men. It doesn’t matter. They are part of me. I will carry them with me wherever I am. Their simple actions gave me joy in a world becoming bleaker by the minute. We feel a sense of despair with the growing chaos and hatred which seems to take over the hearts and minds of many. However, I walk among people who have lost everything. The man in the wheelchair has even lost parts of his body. Despite all deprivation, they are still able to bring joy and hope to me. Their simple gestures of kindness and generosity reveal that even though life might be harsh to them, they are still able to keep their saltiness. Watching their simple way of showing that they care for their neighbor helps me not to lose my saltiness. It helps me believe that despite all the negative things we hear and see in this world there is still enough salt present to make our lives beautiful. Love can and will persevere through all this chaos and hatred because nothing can take away the love of God in our hearts, unless we choose to focus on the dire situations of life. These three men who have lost everything have shown me that no matter what life dishes out to us, we can still bear testimony to God’s enduring love. I believe this is what it means to be salt of the world.

For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. Mark 8:36-38

There is a hideous scar where her right arm used to be. I am not sure how she lost it. If I were to guess, I think it could have been in an accident. Her arm wasn’t only thing she lost. She has lost control of her legs have too. She gets around with the aid of a wheelchair. Unfortunately, her wheelchair looks like something that should have been discarded decades ago. In spite of everything, she manages to get around quite effectively using just her left arm. Her face tells a story of hardship and suffering. She almost looks unfriendly and to a certain extent intimidating. One can imagine that she was once a proud independent person and now she resents begging in order to survive. Her overall physical presence makes people uncomfortable. Everything we want to hide of our human frailty is exposed in her. Most people don’t know how to respond to her but one thing is for sure; she doesn’t want anyone’s pity. She just wants money to pay for next meal and maybe little something to make her harsh life endurable. Mary felt drawn to her. She asked for her name once. I am not sure if she is used to someone wanting to know her name. It’s Vania.

It just got done raining. The children had taken shelter from the rain and I was waiting outside for them. I was observing Vania as she went around asking for money. She begs aggressively. It is the only way she can assert her presence. I put my hand in my pocket to find something for her. I did not want to give her loose change. That would seem like an afterthought. Notes seem to have some sort of intentionality. I found a few dollars. It wasn’t much. I waited for the right opportunity. I wanted to give it to her before she had the chance to ask from me. I don’t know why I thought this was important. Maybe I wanted her to know that she didn’t need to ask. I placed the money in her hand. She looked up and gestured for me to come closer. She wanted to say something in my ear. She was wearing a mask and wasn’t sure if I could hear her clearly through it. She whispered, “God bless you, my friend.” I could see through her mask that she smiled. It almost erased all the traces of hardship and bitterness. Then she asked me if I could help her get across the street. It was uphill and she couldn’t do it on her own. I gladly did it. She asked if I lived nearby. She commented that she noticed me many times talking with the teens. I told her that I lived in the center but a little ways from where we were. She was just curious. A old man with a kind face walked by and she decided to ask him for money. I left her to do her thing. She does what she needs to do in order to survive in this world. Even though we didn’t talk much, I felt something special happened. Obviously, I have given to people begging before. It has always been a pleasant exchange. However, this time I felt that something sacred has occurred. I think Vania had given me an opportunity to meet Jesus today. After all He did say in His words,

“Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

No doubt some might think that I am referring to the gratifying sensation we feel in our heart whenever we help someone. This is a good and pleasant feeling which reminds us that doing something good is good itself. There is very little that needs to be said about this feeling. However, I am talking about something else. It was the fact that she noticed my presence.

As a regular human being, I share the desire to be noticed. We are social creatures. The more we get noticed, the more we feel affirmed as individuals. Everyone does all kinds of things to stand out even those who claim not to care about gaining the attention of others. We desire to belong to some group. In some cases, we are willing to do strange and detrimental things just to be noticed and affirmed by a certain crowd.

All of us do this. It is almost inevitable. We want to gain the whole world if possible. Jesus warns us that not only is this not going to satisfy our soul, it will destroy us as individuals. This idea is not only present in the gospels, there is a consensus in almost all the great wisdom traditions of the world. Even in the Old Testament we heard the Preacher who appeared to have everything in life say, “All is vanity!” In the end, gaining the whole world does absolutely nothing to fulfill the emptiness of our souls. It is the great dilemma we face as humans. We want the world to acknowledge our presence and yet it cannot give us what we truly need. Even then, it doesn’t stop us from trying to gain the whole world because we are also part of this adulterous and sinful generation. We persist on going the wrong direction despite everything.

These are harsh words that Jesus used to describe the world and they are quite precise. “Adulterous” reveals how easily we betray our own convictions just to gain recognition or even have our vain aspirations affirmed. “Sinful” because we are all missing the mark. Looking for significance in the wrong things. Jesus is not one of those people who criticize everything that is wrong without giving us a solution. Unfortunately, He knows that his solution won’t be satisfactory for many. He tells us the answer in a negative manner.

Apparently, Jesus believes that many would be ashamed to acknowledge His presence. It is possible that His presence might not be savory for the values of this world. He is not going to be mingling with those who gain the approval of this world. His presence is with those like Vania whose life seems to be the opposite of everything the world deems as successful. It is not saying that being successful is something wrong. However, it is a grave error to think that being successful in this world is synonymous with being blessed. There are many who gain the whole world but still fail drastically to see Jesus present in a real way in their midst.

There are many people who have said to me, “God bless you!” Most of the time it is meaningless. It always felt like another generic way of expressing gratitude without much commitment. However, when I heard Vania saying it to me, it touched my soul. I felt truly blessed. The whole exchange was sacramental. Jesus was present but in a way we cannot describe. Not just for me but I believe it was true even for Vania.

Some time ago, before this Pandemic, Mary and I were talking with the children when a homeless woman approached us. She wanted to let us know that they were giving out food around the corner. It was obvious that she mistook us for being homeless. We politely thanked her. As she left, we thought to ourselves maybe we should rethink about the way we dress. We told the story to our friends and had a good laugh over it. However, a friend who is no longer with us pointed out something important. His unfortunate passing has made his observation even more valuable now. He said that this was good thing because it meant that they don’t see a distinction between us and them. In other words, we have gained a place among them. Maybe it is not a space that is heavily disputed in our society. In my life, I tried to carve out a space in many groups. I was successful in some attempts and not so in others. However, I was never satisfied in any of them. Now, we are here without any intention of belonging to any group and, all the sudden, we are given a place. We are recognized by people who the world treats as invisible. We became visible to the invisible people.
Somehow it feels special. It feels we received a gift from God. It feels like I finally belong. Vania is right. I am truly blessed.