Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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Healing Our Vision

As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.” John 9:1-3

A blind man asked us if we had a plastic bag; the kind that you find in the grocery stores. None of us had one. He didn’t mind. He thanked us and walked away. He wasn’t just passing by. He is a familiar face in the center. He has been here a long time. More than twenty years ago we shared a bench together. He sat next to us and eavesdropped on our interactions with the children. Then he initiated a conversation. I can’t remember what we spoke about. I just remember him. The benches are gone. The government removed them. Now, we don’t have a place to sit and chat. Maybe this blind man would have sat and chatted with us again if there was a place to do it. I think that the plastic bag was just a pretext to connect with us. It was too bad that none of us had one.

If I had the chance to talk to him again, I might ask him what he thought about this story from the gospel. Maybe not, I think that my courage might fail me. Besides, it is too personal. This story touches the innermost being of those who live with a disability. I would be asking too much of him to talk about something that so sensitive. However, I do wonder if he ever asked the “why” question. On the other hand, I have never heard our children or teens question God about their situation. They just deal with it as part of life.They don’t believe that they have a say in the matter. They are right.  However,  it doesn’t mean that they have asked, “why me and not others”.

The disciples did ask the question. They wanted to know who is to be blamed. It helps us have control over the situation when we know that there is a cause for every effect. They wanted Jesus to identify the cause of unjust circumstances. However, life is not so simple that such complex issues can be reduced to one or two reasons. Atheists choose the simplistic route. They say that the world is ruled by chance and some of us are just unfortunate. If they find this answer satisfactory, then all the better for them. However, it didn’t suffice for the disciples. They wanted an answer to help them understand God’s presence in all this suffering. Jesus answers in a way that would bring comfort to the sufferer but perhaps not to those who are curious about his suffering.

Jesus made it clear that his blindness does not put him outside of God’s actions in this world.

Our blind acquaintance is part of a movement or organization for the blind. They meet in the square where drug dealers and addicts mingle. Consequently, they are always in the middle of people of dubious character. It is because I judge these people with my eyes. Our friend uses other faculties to discern the character of people. Perhaps he has a way of perceiving their true nature better than me because nothing bad ever happens to him. I think that the presence of the blind or anyone with a disability awakens the humanity in the hearts of the people. At least this is true in the environment where we work. The most dangerous gangsters will make sure that no one harms or bothers them. I have seen a career criminal helping the blind cross the streets. It was purely a gratuitous act of kindness. For the wayward soul, it was his chance to remind himself that there is still a kind and gentle person in him despite his tough exterior. He may believe that these people are God’s gift for him to exercise charity. However, this was not what Jesus was saying when He said that God’s works might be revealed in them. He did not mean that the blind or the lame exist to help us become more charitable. They exist because they reveal an aspect of God’s beauty that is perhaps only accessible to them. We need them to discover this hidden beauty of God.

When I served in a parish here in Brazil, there was a young woman who was wheel-chair bound. She had a number of physical disabilities which got aggravated over the years because she could not afford the proper health care. She comes from an extremely poor family and she spent her whole life confined in a tiny shack with moldy walls. To make matters worse, she was highly intelligent young woman. She was fully aware of her plight. Unfortunately, she spent most of her life wondering if she lacked faith and was not healed for this reason. It was a cruel thought implanted in her mind by years of indoctrination. We used to visit her weekly. It wasn’t act of charity on our part. It was mainly because we enjoyed being with her. Her friendship gave us a reason to face some difficult situations in the parish. She did not possess out-of-ordinary wisdom; she was just a simple person who helped us see God’s beauty in an otherwise dark period. Most of the time, we even forgot that she was disabled.

There was a complex and difficult man who befriended her. He was an alcoholic and adulterer. He was also an abusive husband. He was the epitome of everything that we are taught to despise. I am not sure how they met but they became good friends. They came from two different worlds. He had very little regard for anyone or any faith and she was a devout Christian. For some reason, she aroused in him a sense of compassion. He tried to help her family in whatever way he could. It wasn’t gratuitous but his intentions were pure. He wanted to get to know this young woman. His friendship with her was one of the most revolutionary thing that happened in his life. It was the first time he had a relationship with a woman where sex was not the primary goal. It wasn’t romantic in nature for both parties. It was really  because of envy. A person whom the rest of the world would look at and see only a disabled person, but she became an object of envy for this man. He saw that she had a fulfilled life and he only had known failure and misery. He desired what she had. She helped him discover it. He eventually gave up his old life. It was a slow process but he attributed it to his friendship with this young woman. She helped him see the beauty of God and he could not return to his old ways. I met him after this transformation. He is an odd combination of a brute and saint. Only people in process of becoming saints manifest these qualities. He was a wild man who was transformed through the powerful witness of a frail wheel-chair bound young woman. I am grateful to God for the years we spent in this parish. This young woman is one of the most beautiful gifts that God has given us. Unfortunately, she still thinks that she needs to healed to have a fulfilled life. Maybe one day she will realize that God has already given her a beautiful life.

The story from the gospel is about healing, but not just physical healing. The blind man was still rejected after he gained his sight. The problem was not his blindness but the lack of vision of those who can see. They could not see the beautiful thing that had happened to him. They only saw what they wanted to see. When we see a blind person, or a beggar, what do we see? The disciples were taught to see a cursed person or worse, an incomplete person. Jesus healed their vision. Maybe He can continue heal our eyes so that we too can see the beauty in people whom society considers as cursed.

 

 

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Asking for Water

A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” John 4:7

I did not get past this verse. In another time and space, I would have just skimmed past this verse moving on to the meat of the story. However, this time it was different. I stopped where Jesus asked for a drink. This is where it all began. The rest of the story would not have happened if Jesus did not ask for some water. It wasn’t a pretext to have a conversation with this woman. The gospel makes it very clear. Jesus was exhausted. He was genuinely thirsty. The woman went to the well at a time when there was nobody around. This is very telling of her state in her own society. She was an outsider in a society of outcasts. She did not expect anyone to be there, especially not a Jewish man. It was Jesus who initiated the conversation. He needed her help because he did not have a bucket to draw water. She did and He was thirsty. That was all that mattered for Jesus.

I never ask any help from our children and teens. Maybe it is because I can only see their needs and not what they have. If I was thirsty by the well and saw one of our boys drawing water with a bucket, I still would not ask for water. I would be thinking about the bucket; wondering whether it was clean and where it has been…I would be thinking about the condition of the bucket more than the person who was using it. If someone whom I consider to be clean and hygienic was drawing water using the same bucket, I would not hesitate to ask for some water. My thoughts would be directed towards the person. Such is life. I don’t want to be like this but I live in this reality. Jesus shows us a better way to live our lives.

Jesus did not see a Samaritan woman. He just saw someone who has the capability to share whatever she has received. The prove of this comes much later in this story. He saw in this woman someone who had something to offer to him. I need to ask myself if I look at our children and teens and think that they have something to share with me. It would only make them appear to be more human to me. If they are always at the receiving end, they will never be my equals. They never be truly humans to me. Maybe the woman wouldn’t have been willing to receive what Jesus had to offer if He hadn’t been willing to receive from her.

The woman was shocked that Jesus was willing to receive anything from her. She was understandably suspicious. Why would a Jewish man want anything from her? She wasn’t afraid of Jesus. She wouldn’t have engaged him if she thought that He was dangerous. Nevertheless, she was suspicious. We have to admit that it is a little strange. Jesus could have asked his disciples before they left him to get some water for him. The disciples were astonished perhaps even a little scandalized (John 4:27) when they saw what had unfolded. Jesus never explained Himself. He was thirsty and this woman despite who she was or what she had done, was able to give Him water. This was all that mattered and this is all it took for us to learn great lessons about the Living Water.

I wanted to write something about the whole text but my mind was stuck on this verse. It stayed with me through the many activities we did with the children this week. I felt the absence of Ruan. We haven’t seen him this week. Last weekend, he introduced us to his girlfriend. On Monday, she was with another teenager. His romantic escape did not survive the weekend. Unfortunately, it was enough to send him running away to hide and recover from his wounds. We did not see him the whole week. His absence made our hearts lonely. Our weekly trip to the foot specialist with Gabriel will end this coming week. His foot is healing perfectly. This means that next Wednesday will be the last time we will walk together to this center and chatting about everything and nothing. I have been praying for his healing but I am going to miss our walks to this place together. The weather has also been unforgivingly hot this week. There were days where the heat had drained all the energies of the children. They were not up to doing anything. Most of them did not even come of their hiding places. We missed seeing most of them. It made us feel like our week wasn’t complete.

I realized that something has happened in us. We can spend weeks not seeing our friends here, which just happened recently. Everyone likes to stay cool and indoors during the summer months here. The heat kills all desire to interact with people. We are fine with this. However, when we don’t see our children for a day, we feel that our days are empty. I thought that we were coming here to help to give their lives some meaning. Now, it seems like that we have received something from them. They have refreshed our lives with their presence. We were thirsty and tired and they came and gave us something to drink.

Perhaps on another occasion, I would not have admitted to this. It makes me look weak and even pathetic to say that I need these children and teens to enrich my days. Then, I read that Jesus was tired and wasn’t ashamed to ask a Samaritan woman for some water. He wouldn’t have had the conversation with her if he wasn’t willing to admit that he needed her help as well.

The simple gesture of Jesus has revealed to us that we cannot show compassion and love to people unless we are willing to let them see that we need them as well. It may be just a glass of water but for the Samaritan woman, it gave her a place in the gospel for eternity.

Maybe you are wondering where I am going with all this. I am not going anywhere. I am just happy to be here where God has given the grace to admit that I see these children giving me something with their lives. Not just to admit that we need them, but also the grace to receive the good things that they have to offer us. They have made our lives richer and perhaps now they can listen to what we have to offer as well.

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Where the Wind blows…

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” -John 3:-9

Every Thursday, he attends the 5 o’clock mass at the Cathedral. We don’t know his name but he has become a very familiar figure. Our interactions were very limited. He would come up to us and shake our hands and say that we are doing a great job. It was always the same except for last week. He was in the mood for a chat. I have to admit that I was a little weary. I thought that we were going to hear a long drawn-out discourse about doing God’s work. We have been subjected several times to this by well-meaning street preachers who seem to enjoy preaching to the choir. However, this man wasn’t a street preacher. He was just a pilgrim. He had just come from giving out food to the homeless. He said that he does this twice a week. The food, he said, is just an excuse to show love and affection to the homeless. He was brief. He just wanted to say that it was great to share God’s love with the needy. Then, something made him hesitate for a moment. As if to correct himself he added, “We also need the love that they share with us.” Then he shook our hands and left and we sat there pondering about what he had said.

The word, “need”, adds a radical perspective to everything. Serving the poor and the homeless, the widows and all the forgotten and lost people is no longer an activity we do when we have the time. It becomes something necessary for us to discover God’s love. It might sound a little uncomfortable for some ears. It sounds like we need to do something to earn our salvation. Well, it is not about earning but reaping the full benefits of our salvation. We never may know the joy of salvation if we restrict it a special set of doctrines or membership to a community. Salvation is the freedom to perceive and receive God’s love freely.

The quote above is from a dialogue between Jesus and Nicodemus. The latter couldn’t fathom what it means to be born again. Perhaps he was trying to reconcile two incompatible worlds; the new Creation that Jesus was presenting and his old ideas of reality. The gospel tell us that he was a pharisee. This is a clue to understanding this man’s dilemma. Pharisees in Jesus’ time were spiritually diligent people. They kept all the laws and they took pains to keep themselves pure. It would be wrong to think that they were all hypocrites. Most of them were like Nicodemus who was a genuine and sincere person. Unfortunately, all his knowledge and religiosity could not help him grasp what it means to be born again. Maybe he did not want to be born again. It would mean giving up everything that he knew. He would have preferred if Jesus presented him with set of doctrines or spiritual exercises. These things were easy to comprehend. Jesus almost did nothing to help this poor man out of his conundrum. Instead, Jesus just kept saying that he needed to be born again. Nicodemus had a problem. He was trying to put new wine into old wineskins (Mark 2:22). St Paul, another Pharisee, had the same problem until he met the Lord. However, he understood immediately that in order to be born again, you have to be willing to forget your past. It was a deliberate action not to reconcile things from his past which would limit the present way God was acting in his life.

“Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”- Philippians 3:13

I would like to digress for a moment and say that I am not in any way advocating the misguided notion that we should disregard everything from the past. There is much wisdom from the past that helps us understand the newness of what the Spirit of God is doing in our midst. Jesus uses the wind to describe the movement of the Holy Spirit and it is a concept from the Old Testament. The word for Spirit of God is “ruah” which can also mean wind.

The wind blows where it desires. No one domesticate the wind. We can feel its effects and we can protect ourselves from it. However, we cannot control it. We can try but it will always overpower us. God moves where he desires. He is present where He sees fit. Being born again, it realizing that no one has the power or the right to demand how and when God should work. It is also admitting to ourselves that God has no obligation to our needs or interests. He moves to fulfill His will in this world. He invites us to be part of His movement. It requires us to be willing to receive His love even in the most unlikely situations or people.

One of the boys asked us what we did on the weekends. We told them that we spent our time reading and sometimes we would go for a short walk. He was shocked to hear that we don’t watch TV or play video games. For the children, reading was a boring activity. Then he turned around and told the others that they should ask us to come on the weekends to spend time with them in the streets. He said, “Poor Mary and Stephen have nothing to do but read on the weekend. At least here, they won’t be so lonely.” We thought what he said was humorous and at the same time, it revealed something profound. The children did not see our relationship as a one way traffic. They believed that they were giving something to us as well. They did not know what they were giving but they could see that we receive something from them. This knowledge empowered them. They felt that their presence in our lives was meaningful, so much so that whenever we are away from them they believe that we are forced to engage in boring activities like reading. They are right (not about reading). We receive something from them. We see God’s love for us through them. Wherever God’s love is present, there is joy and significance.

Nicodemus was trapped in his world of doctrines and rituals. None of these are essentially wrong. Jesus never said that they were wrong. Sometimes they can help us see and understand God’s presence in this world. However, if they restrict our understand of God’s actions and love, then we need to follow Paul’s example and choose to forget them. Being born again is being freed to receive God’s love whenever it is present. Sometimes it is in the darkest places and God’s grace will open our eyes and hearts to see His eternal Love alive in these places. Our nameless friend is not a theologian. He is just a simple man who discovered God’s love among the needy and forgotten. Now, he goes back to serve them because he knows God is waiting for him among them. Incidentally, he gives out food in one of the most dangerous places in the city. Yet, it is God’s love that shines brightly for him in this place and not the fear of danger that is associated with it.

The wind blows whenever it pleases….the Spirit brought us to these children to discover. I believe that He has a special place for each one of us to discover the joy of our salvation.

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A Necessary Reflection

Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. Matthew 4:1-2

My earliest recollection of this text was when I was about seven. My catechism teacher explained that Jesus was tested so that He could be ready to show that He was worthy of His calling. Life was simpler then. I believed everything the adults said. When I was a teenager, my parish priest upset this simple order of things. He turned around and asked us; “Why did Jesus needed to be tested? After all, He was the perfect Son of God. Could God the Father doubted the capabilities of His own Son?” None of us could answer him. I am not even sure if he gave us an answer. If he did, I did not remember it, but the question was permanently imprinted in my mind. Later on in life, I had a good friend who was a former Buddhist monk. He was much older than me and we often had lively talks about religion. One day the subject of the temptations of Jesus came up. Being a non-Christian, he had no obligation to believe the traditional teachings. He found it hard to comprehend a God would need to test anyone and thought that such a god was truly ungracious god.

Today, I read this text with homeless and abandoned children and teens in mind. Some are too young to understand why they are living in the streets. They think that they made the choice to be homeless. However, such a choice shouldn’t be given to any child. The older ones have grown accustomed to their lot and they can’t imagine a life beyond the streets. None wanted to be homeless in the first place. It just happened. It would be strange for me to read this story and tell them that God tested Jesus. They might wonder about themselves; “Are our sufferings and abandonment a test from God?” I hope that they don’t ask this question. I don’t have an answer for it. Nevertheless, the season of Lent always begins with this text. It forces me to ask myself this question before the children and teens have a chance.

No one, when tempted, should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil and he himself tempts no one. James 1:13

I loved my catechism teacher but she was wrong. My parish priest then was trying to make us to figure this out by ourselves. God is not in the business of testing people. The temptations of Jesus were not a test. They are merely his confrontation with reality. Jesus was bringing a new and life-transforming message to the world and the devil or the world wants to domesticate it. He doesn’t necessarily disapprove of the gospel. He just wants Jesus to continue with his ministry according to his ways and methods. He wants the message of the gospel to lose its saltiness so that it would become as what Jesus said it would be, “something which is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”(Matthew 5:15)

The temptations of Christ are a warning to us not to contaminate the message of the gospel. However, the devil is very persuasive. His arguments are subtle and reasonable and even biblical. We need to be aware not to be swayed by his intelligent words.

Jesus was hungry after a long fast and he has the power to turn stones into bread. The devil’s suggestion appears to be a logical argument. Jesus should use his power to get what he wanted. The second temptation follows the same train of thought. Unfortunately, it is an argument that finds very little resistance today. He wanted to Jesus to demonstrate His privileges and power in a spectacular way so that people could see His glory. Today people approve this method claiming that it is a great way to draw people into their churches. It is a good marketing strategy. Jesus promptly refused because God does not exist to perform spectacular deeds for us. The final temptation is about shortcuts. We live in a time where “the end justifies the means spirituality” is dominant. The devil is offering a way to get to Jesus’ purpose in quick and easy way. Jesus knew that there was always a hefty price to pay when we take the shortcut to achieve the Kingdom’s goals.

All these temptations are part of the reality of anyone who wants to serve the purpose of the gospel today. Unfortunately, unlike Jesus, many of us do not prepare ourselves to face these seductive lies. We listen to the devil’s arguments without much reflection and think that he has great suggestions for the Kingdom of God. We follow his advice without hesitance and the result is that our message loses its saltiness. Jesus, on the other hand, spent 40 days in the desert reflecting and praying before He confronted the devil.

God does not test anyone but the world does. It will throw whatever persuasive arguments that are available to contaminate our intentions and zeal to serve God. The gospel threatens to destroy the foundation of this world. The Truth of the gospel exposes its lies and superficiality. The devil knows that he cannot destroy the gospel but he can contaminate it. The best way to this is to convince those who are touched by the power of the gospel to settle for something much less potent and superficial. The arguments of the devil are weak but only those who have given themselves to serious reflection and prayer can detect their fallacy.

I am glad that every season of Lent we read this episode of Jesus’ life. It helps me realize why we need this period. We need the time to reflect on the gospel and ask ourselves this simple question; are we serving the purpose of the gospel or are we using the gospel to serve our own needs? The latter is basically what the devil wanted Jesus to succumb to. It is not an easy question to ask ourselves but nevertheless a necessary one. We need more than forty days of reflection and self-examination but forty days of Lent is a good start.

Meanwhile back in the streets, I am grateful that I can tell our children that they are not in the streets because God is testing them. I can’t explain their present situation but I believe that the gospel has something powerful for them. We don’t know all the answers but we can discover the relevant ones together through the gospel. However, first, I need to make sure that I don’t contaminate the gospel with my own ambitions and desires. For this, I am grateful that the season of Lent gives the time to examine myself.

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Celebration of Life: A Problem at a Perfect Time

I don’t know how to introduce Gabriel. He is a paradox. He is one of the most interesting teens, yet has no particular interest in anything. He doesn’t like to draw. He is illiterate but never shown any interest in learning how to read. The only thing he wants to do is play Uno. On his birthday, we got him a deck of cards. He thanked us for it and then asked us to keep it for him. He was afraid that he might lose it. Then he never asked for it again. I have been wanting to share about this young man for a long time. However, I was afraid that my description of him might make you think that Gabriel is just an unmotivated and apathetic teenager. This would be a false impression of this fascinating young boy. Despite his lack of interest in almost everything, there is something in him that made us connect with him almost immediately when we first met him three years ago. I had to wait for the right moment to share about young Gabriel and it finally came.

Our children and teens are like stain glass windows in God’s eternal church. Some windows are located in places where the rays of sun shines through it first thing in the morning. Others reveal their beauty in the later part of the day. There are some windows that are hidden in obscure corners. Their colors and beauty are not seen easily. You have to wait for the right time of the day to capture their true glory. The sun has to shine at a perfect position and it does so only for a brief moment. It is easy to miss this opportunity if you are not attentive. These windows are often overlooked and even considered as dull and uninteresting. However, they are God’s windows. Therefore, they cannot but contain the beauty of the divine Artist. Perhaps, their exquisiteness is not obvious to the casual transient but through the grace of God, some of us are privileged to be present at the right place and right time to gaze upon this beauty. With Gabriel, the precise moment came when he had a problem with his foot.

No one likes to go the free clinics here, especially the homeless. There are only handful of places in society where the homeless are treated with dignity. Government agencies are rarely part of this handful. Despite this fact, Gabriel went to a clinic on his own. He had plantar warts on the sole of his foot. He mentioned it to me once and I offered to take him to the clinic but he refused. This time the pain must have been unbearable for him to face the condescending attitudes of the staff in these clinics. He got an appointment for a treatment but he missed it. It wasn’t deliberate. He could not find anyone to go with him and did not feel confident to go alone. He wanted to reschedule another appointment and asked us to accompany him. The administrative staff at the clinic was not interested in making things easy for him. He wanted Gabriel to provide some paperwork first which was not previously necessary. At this point, it is pointless for me to go on about the convoluted process. The end result was that Gabriel almost gave up getting any treatment for his problem. Fortunately, in Brazil, there are licensed alternative medicine. They are private and cheaper than the regular private doctors and they tend to treat people more like human beings. We asked Gabriel if he wanted to go to these specialists. We told him that we would take care of the expense. He did not expect this and did know how to react. He just smiled and thanked us quietly. The other children and teens heard this too. We could see that they were pleased with our offer. The normal envious reactions were absent in this case. They must be aware of the pain that Gabriel was suffering with his foot and so did not demonstrate any form of jealousy.

The appointment was on a Wednesday. Gabriel was wearing the best clothes he could find and waiting anxiously for us. In the initial consultation, the podiatrist told us that his problem was treatable but it has advanced and required several sessions. Thus began our weekly excursion to the specialist center. It became our personal one-on-one time with Gabriel. On our first trip, Gabriel started talking about his family. He has ten brothers and sisters. Not everyone has the same father, he said. On another occasion, he told us that he has never met his father. He also revealed that he was not able to read because he needed glasses. Unfortunately, his mother never provided them. As he began to share bits and pieces of his life with us it became obvious that Gabriel was neglected from a very young age. He suppressed his interest in things because he knew that no one would be concerned and help him to develop them. It was his defense mechanism. He also asked us about the letters from Florida. He had never shown any interest in them previously. He wanted to know how we received the letters. It never occurred to us that the postal system was a mystery to him and perhaps the other children too.

With each trip to the podiatrist, we saw that Gabriel was not really a teenager without any interests but one who was afraid to express them. He asked me to read a letter that he received from someone in the States. I had kept this letter with me for months and suddenly now, he was ready for me to read to him. The person who wrote the letter talked about working as a volunteer with seafarers. This perked his interest. He asked if I could help him write a reply immediately. He asked her if she knew stories about the seafarers’ experiences in the high seas. He wanted to know if the writer of the letter has ever travelled to different countries. He confessed that he always interested in foreign countries and what they were like. He started asking me about the countries I visited. We sat on the floor of the church square and talked about traveling. He wondered if he could do it one day. I assured him that it was not something impossible or absurd but was within his reach.

A simple trip to the podiatrist has given this young teenager to courage to show his interests again. Perhaps he realized that they won’t fall on deaf ears. He has already asked my help to write two letters. He expressed an interest in learning how to read and write and wants Mary to teach him. All the sudden our apparently unmotivated teenager has been given a new surge of energy. All because he realized that he is not going to be ignored. This is perhaps something new in his life and consequently it has caused a fresh reaction in his outlook of life.

When we met Gabriel for the first time, we wondered why his parents never came looking for him. He was such a sweet and kind young boy. I am glad that we have our Wednesdays with him. They have given us a vision of this stained glass window of God and to capture its beauty was worth the wait.

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Not without Grace

But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Eph.4:7

The question came out of the blue. We were just drawing and talking as usual. Ruan was asking questions about things we did at home. He said that he would like to visit our home one day. He knew that we did not have a TV and he was intrigued by this. He wanted to know how we occupied our time. He was overall curious about everything we did away from the streets. Then all of the sudden, he just asked this question; “Why don’t you just adopt me? I want to live with you.” There was a moment of silence. All the years we have been here, this was the first time any of the children have asked this question. There was an awkward silence.

There was an easy way to answer. I could have said that legally this is not possible. Ruan is technically not an orphan. However, this would be the coward’s way out of this situation. Besides, Ruan knew this deep down. He wasn’t asking us to take him home immediately. He asked in jest and yet there was a seriousness to it. He wanted to know the boundaries of our relationship. He was curious to know if adoption or even acceptance into our household was something that was on the table with us. The rest of children and teens were silent and pretended to draw or color while secretly listening. They wanted to know how we would respond to this question. We were wondering about this ourselves. How can we answer Ruan and the other children honestly?

The problem is honesty. Frankly speaking, I like the way things are now. We come to the streets everyday and spend time with the children and teens and then we go to our quiet home. It seems like a good system. Everything is going well. Our time with the children is time well spent. Our conversations have grown and we are talking about deeper things and they are not afraid to ask us some tough questions present including the one just mentioned. We are learning to see God’s grace working in their lives and hopefully they can perceive this in us too. We love spending time with the children and teens and we can say this honestly. I also like going back to a quiet home and spending the evening reading and relaxing. The time we spent alone has become sacred to us too. We have grown accustomed to the way things are now. We don’t perceive a need to change anything because of the simple fact that we don’t want changes. Unfortunately, a simple question from a young boy whom we have grown to have strong affections is threatening to devastate this so-called comfortable situation. It is almost as if God is asking us through him how far are we willing to go from here. In a way, it is a “yes” and “no” question. The children were waiting for an answer from us. We needed some guidance to give the right answer. However, I was afraid of going to the Bible. It might tell me something that I don’t want to hear for now. My fears were right.

I did not look to the Bible for the guidance but the Word of God spoke to me despite my deliberate negligence. It did not happen in some mystical way but rather through the regular and traditional means. I was in church and the lesson read from the lectern was from Isaiah;

“Is not this the fast that I choose:
…….and to bring the homeless poor into your house;” Isaiah 58:5-7

According to the text, this was the worship that God considered to be true and acceptable. At that moment, it seemed to me like an unreasonable request on the part of God. Not many people would sign up to serve Him if they knew that this was the standard. Whenever we hear such tough sayings from the Bible, we have two choices before us. We can pretend they are not for us but written for specific period and age where homeless were nice, clean and jolly fellows who would be a joy and pleasure to bring into our homes. Since we have different kind of homeless today who can be dangerous and mentally-ill, we don’t really need to heed these verses. The other option is just face the Truth and say this is God’s word for me. Keeping in mind that the scripture is not telling us to go out and grab the first homeless people we see and bring them to our homes. It does tells us that serving God involves openness to radical changes in our lifestyles.

Since we are here to serve the homeless, we only have one choice and that is to face the Truth.

God’s standards are always the best standards for us to live our lives. His standards are not given to impose a heavy burden on us. God is not interested in making us feel bad or guilty. He is genuinely concerned about the poor and their welfare. He wants to help those who in need in a way that would really help them. His standards are a manifestation of His love. They are the only true guide to help us understand how to love our neighbor the way He loves us. Besides, they help to keep us from feeling self-righteous. We need high standards to keep us humble and open to learn from others.

As human beings, we adapt to different circumstances easily and once we are settled in our space, we don’t like changes. It is just not natural to like changes. This is the way we are and God obviously knows this. This is why He always gives the grace to change. Without grace, it is impossible for us to garner the strength and courage to modify our lives. In a way, those who say “no” to changing their lifestyles for the sake of the gospel are saying “no” to the grace of God.

We told Ruan that at this precise moment God has called us to be a family to all the children and teens here in the streets. If we took him to our home, then we could not come to the streets everyday like we do now. We won’t be able to dedicate ourselves to the rest who need to have parents in the streets too. The answer was met with approval among all the children including Ruan. The answer we gave was based on our understanding of God’s grace. We move in the direction that His grace lead us. The fear of change will always be present in our hearts but grace will help us to move forward despite this hesitance. Perhaps there will come a time when we will have to take someone into our home and when that time comes, God will give us the grace to do it. For now, I’ll enjoy my quiet nights.

…the Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me 2 . Corinthians 12:9

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Celebration of Life: New Words for a New Life

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3

On Felipe’s birthday it was raining heavily. It had been rained for the past few days. On days like this, the children and teens take shelter under the highway bridge. They won’t come out unless the sun comes out. I don’t blame them. The streets are usually wet and flooded with dirty water and a grey and gloomy sky only adds to the overall melancholic atmosphere. It is better to find a dry place and say put. No one dares to complain about the rain. We just came out of a severe drought. The rain is much needed even though a slight relief from its onslaught might be greatly appreciated. We were really hoping for sunny weather this particular day. We wanted to give Felipe his present. Unfortunately, it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. Felipe has spent many birthdays in the streets. Many times even he forgot his own birthday. He was not expecting any gifts or anyone to remember the day. Perhaps it is his defense mechanism. He won’t be disappointed if he doesn’t expect anything. On Christmas, we gave him a simple gift. He felt a little awkward. It was obvious that he does know how to receive a gift. He is accustomed to receiving lose change and leftover food but not gifts. Gifts are special. They are given with thought and consideration. Felipe has forgotten what it means to be remembered and considered. Maybe he had never experienced such sentiments. Consequently, he has no idea what to say or do when someone gives him a gift. He was lost for words. Maybe he didn’t possess the necessary words to express gratitude for something given with love and consideration.

Felipe lives in a world where people are a means to an end. His only connection with people outside his circle is through begging. It is a simple transaction. The people give out of pity and he receives and thanks them without much emotion or eye-contact. We have watched this exchange countless times. It is very dehumanizing for everyone concerned, as well as degrading for the person begging. They feel humiliated and so treat those who give as nothing more than human ATM machines. Sometimes people who give try to treat them with humanity but they are too close to recognize the kind gesture. It is quite heart breaking. No one escapes the degradative effect of begging.

Receiving a gift is different especially when it flows out a relationship. It is an invitation to a deeper and long-lasting relationship. This is something new for Felipe and the other children. They don’t know how to relate to people who remember them on special days or occasions. It is something new and perhaps even strange for them. They know that it demands a deeper response than the mere words of gratitude that they easily dispense in their begging. The gift forces them to open themselves to the giver. They have to respond to the love that is behind the gift. It makes them feel unsure and insecure because it is new. They don’t feel comfortable stepping out of their comfort zone but at the same time the lure of love is very attractive. They like the fact that someone remembers them on their birthdays. They like receiving letters from people whom they never met. They are touched that people are taking time to pray and think about them. All this is new to them. They know that it is something good and new. Now, they have to find the words to express this new thing that is unfolding in their lives.

“The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” John 3: 8

In search for something concrete and enduring, the kids come to the street. They want relationships that would help them discover their own self-worth. However, they only find others like themselves who are just as lost. Eventually they give up on finding anything good and worthwhile and drown themselves in whatever is available to help them escape their miserable situation. They have grown accustomed to this misery but things are changing. It is shaking the foundations of their existence in a good way. They don’t have the vocabulary to express their feelings and maybe their fears. Everything is new for them. They talk about it among themselves. They say that we are connecting them to people around the world whereas before people would just ignore or avoid them. They are accustomed to this. Now the foundation of their world is being shaken. They are not alone. Our personal foundation is being shaken as well. Our world is being transformed. We miss the children when it rains. Our day seems a little empty without our time with them. It seems almost pointless. We look forward to our time with the children and teens. They renew the hope in our lives. The hope that God is creating something new and eternal in our midst.

It rained for two days straight before we had a brief reprieve. Felipe was waiting for us. He looked as if we was waiting for us for two days. His face lit up and he wore a big welcoming smile. He said out loud, “You missed my birthday!” He wasn’t mad or sad. He was glad that he could say these words to someone who cared about his special day. We told him that we didn’t forget it. We had a small gift for him. He did not open it immediately. It is almost like he wanted to savor the moment for a while. Finally I had to prompt him to open the package. It was a comic book that he had wanted for a while. He smiled and thanked us. We told him that we had some letters for him as well. We sat down and read one. He wanted to write a reply immediately. In it, he wrote these words,

“God has sent many people to show us that He will care for us.”

It seems like he is discovering new words to express what is happening to him and the other children.

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Celebration of Life: The Fabulous Purpose of the Gospel

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

I made a pleasant mistake of picking up a copy of the “Imitation of Christ” in the beginning of this year. I read it before but this time I found it to be annoying and yet, I could not stop reading it. I found myself disagreeing with it while at the same time, I could not disregard what it says, mainly because it exposes my own struggles with pride and insecurity. It was as if it was written for me. Then, I realized that I was again being an egocentric person. There was no winning with this book. It was written for all peoples; everyone is flawed with a tendency to confuse the message of the gospel with our own personal ideas. I began the year thinking that I should have goals for our ministry so that I can show myself that I have achieved something. However, this is not my ministry. It belongs to God. We either serve His purpose and set aside our personal desires or we aren’t part of it at all. There is no middle ground, only God’s goal established in His gospel matters.

God does not have resolutions like us. He just has one simple eternal plan for the world laid out in the gospels. The gospels testify about the person of Jesus. In all the four gospels, we know that Jesus is notorious for not giving a straight-forward answer. If Jesus were to be present in the flesh in our midst and we asked him what is the essence of the gospel, I am sure that Jesus would answer with a question. He gives nothing away on a platter. He wants us to have the joy of discovering the answer. Thankfully, we have St Paul who attempts some answers. He sought to live the gospel in its plenitude. His complex and rich summary of the gospel was that it was a message of reconciliation. My own plans and goals seem pitiful compared to this lofty aim and purpose. God wants to reconcile the world. With division and strife surrounding us, it is a powerful notion. Our situation is not something new. It has always been like this ever since Adam and Eve had their first children. This is why the ministry of reconciliation is such a controversial and powerful message in every age.

Our responsibility as Christians is to stand in the place where God has called us to be His witness and ask what does it mean to part of this ministry of reconciliation. In our streets, the Holy Spirit is opening our hearts to understand that it means celebrating the lives of the children and teens who have been forgotten and despised by many. St Paul, who was a strict Jewish leader who once disapproved violently any idea of reconciling with the Gentiles, became the champion and model of reconciliation with the very people he despised. They became part of his identity and he loved them and celebrated their lives.

Reconciliation goes beyond saying affirmative statements about an individual. We recognize that our lives have become richer through our relationship with such and such person. St Paul said that everything he lost for the sake of the gospel he considered as dung in comparison to what he had gained. These were not mere words; he laid down his life for these people. He discovered something greater and more precious than his previous status could ever offer. He found God’s beauty and love in the people he once despised or disregarded. He had genuine reasons to celebrate the lives of those whom he served.

We are in a moment in our ministry here where we can say we want to celebrate the lives of the children and teens. Part of celebrating is sharing. There can never be a true rejoicing in isolation. The deep joy of being part of something wonderful and precious is being able to share it with your friends and family and even total strangers. However, evangelical celebration of lives must be done in Truth. If not, it would be reduced to something sentimental and there is no future in this. We can only perceive the true value and beauty of our children and teens through the Holy Spirit. We can only be sensitized to the presence of the Holy Spirit through faith. One of the keys to unleash our faith is through prayer. Before we can truly celebrate, we need to pray; not for God to change things but for Him to change the way we see and understand people. I noticed that whenever I pray, I see more clearly how special and precious these children are even when they are difficult.

I want to begin this year praying that God will reveal to us how to celebrate the lives of the people who He has put into our lives and neighborhood. It doesn’t matter how the world considers these people but God has given them to us so that our lives would be richer. I want to share this wealth with you. I invite you to pray with me as you read about these treasures that we share with you. I am sure that prayer will unleash your faith to celebrate the lives of these little ones together with us in a genuine way.

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Children Connecting with Children

People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

I made a simple challenge to write letters to our children and teens in the streets. Quite a few people took up the challenge. The letters came in slowly but steadily, then we got a package. It was a bunch of letters written by children from a church in a small city in Florida. The letters were open and honest in a way only a child could write and get away with. We decided that we were going to read these letters first. We decided to read one letter at a time. We did not want to overwhelm our children. Most of them have never received a letter in their lives.

We read the first letter to a young man named Sandro. I wrote a brief description of Sandro to the churches and in it I stated that he liked airplanes. Two children wrote to him. One was older and the other was obviously a very young child. The latter drew a picture of a plane and wrote his wish for Sandro;

“Maybe one day you could get your own airplane and fly around.”

Sandro listened intently while smoking a cigarette. He smiled and said that this was his wish too. He is twenty but he still is very childlike. Listening to the words of another child just brought out the childlikeness in him in spite of the cigarette in his hand. He looked at the picture. It was the artwork of a eight year old. He liked it and said that he was going to keep it. He is good at art. He wants to draw a picture as a present for this young boy. The other letter was from an older girl. She talked about airplanes as well. She shared that she wants to learn how to fly as well. Something that she shares in common with Sandro. They both ended their letters saying that Sandro was in their prayers and they want to hear back from him.

Oh yes, there was another question from the young boy. He wanted to know if where Sandro lived there were cars, buildings and an airport. He wrote that where he lived there were just cars all around and buildings. Sandro thought about the question for a while. He said that he should write that São Paulo has everything that the city where this boy lives has. I told him that this wasn’t true. The letter was written in a small town in the Florida. São Paulo has a hundred times what they have there. We were surrounded by gigantic skyscrapers as we were having this conversation. I told Sandro that it was hard for someone who never been to this city to imagine the immensity of São Paulo. Sandro smiled and was trying to process what I said. In his mind, everything in America is big and wealthy. He could not fathom that he was living in a city bigger and richer than the one where this boy lives. However, the wealth of the city where they live has little bearing on their personal lives. They both come from two extreme realities. However, this difference did not stop them from having a simple connection through a thin slip of paper and with some rudimentary drawings.

The next letter we read was for Felipe. It was from a young girl this time and from her letter, we gather that she must be about ten years old. Felipe lost his dog whom he loved dearly and I mentioned this in my letter to the churches. The young girl used this to create a connection with Felipe. She seemed to understand what it means to lose something or someone precious.

“I hope that you are not lonely without your dog. If you are, you won’t be anymore because I am your new best friend.”

There was no ceremony or hesitance in her offering her friendship to Felipe. He listened to it and had a shy smile on his face. He was touched by this offer. This child did not hide her motivation for writing this letter. She wanted to have a strong connection with Felipe. He did not laugh it off as a childish gesture. He was able to perceive the genuine intention of this child. However, it wasn’t just a one sided offer. She thought that Felipe could help her as well. I wrote that Felipe likes the Old Testament stories. She wrote a verse from Hosea 12:1-2.

“Ephraim feeds on the wind; he pursues the east wind all day and multiplies lies and violence. He makes a treaty with Assyria and sends olive oil to Egypt. The LORD has a charge to bring against Judah; he will punish Jacob according to his ways and repay him according to his deeds.”

She asked if Felipe could write back to her and explain the meaning of these verses. I want to see what he is going to say about it. It seems like a random verse but that again, it could mean something special to her. I reckon that it is just an attempt to say that she believes that Felipe has something to offer to her as well.

The final letter that we were able to read this week was for Ruan. It was a simple letter and it said,

“I want to let you know that we are praying for you and when you get into trouble, God is with you and He will forgive you.”

It brought a smile to Ruan’s face immediately. He is always getting into trouble. He is a mischievous boy. However, it wasn’t the words that touched him. It was the intention. The child who wrote this letter did not judge Ruan and focused instead in a gracious and forgiving God. Ruan said immediately that he wanted to write to her back.

There are many more letters from children and adults. I have read letters from adults above the age of seventy. The children marveled that people lived that long. They thought Mary and I were ancient. Now, we were introducing people to them that were older than us. All letters were received with a shy smile. Even those feign that they were not interested, could not help but listen to the words of people who have written to them. They were happy to hear their names being mentioned in the letters. It was a sign that someone out there knows their names. Besides this, we are seeing some unforeseen consequences developing. Felipe who has a low self-esteem started getting interested in English. He is beginning to show interest in learning how to draw and improve his writing skills. Ruan is beginning to read simple words and has been doing his exercises with Mary faithfully. These are just some of the consequences. However, there is something that is also something else happening that is deeper and more meaningful. It is opening doors for us to talk about their responsibility to people. They have lived most of their lives abandoned by their families and society. They have lived without having any responsibility to fellow human beings. Now, they are receiving unconditional love in form of letters from children and adults who have nothing to gain from them. It is an invitation to be connected to them through the bonds of friendship. Now, they have to learn how to respond. I believe that they want to do it but they don’t know how. Perhaps, this is something we can help them to do this year.

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Eternal Moments: An Unexpected Encounter

“And he took a child, and put him in the midst of them; and taking him in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”- Mark 9:36-37

As I stepped out of the apartment building, I caught a glimpse of our neighbor hugging a young boy. He was about eleven. There was something emotional about the embrace. He looked a little sad and she was trying to comfort him. He was too young to be her son and I have never seen him around before. I was pretty sure that he doesn’t live with her. Anyway, it was none of my business. I said my customary “hello” and “goodbye” and went on my way.

As soon as I stepped out of the building, I heard a soft voice calling out, “Mister, mister.” I assumed that it was for someone else and walked on. The “Mister” persisted until it was right next to me. I turned and saw it was the neighbor’s young relative.

“Do you live in apartment 5B? I live next door, well, at least until tomorrow, I am moving.” He didn’t wait for me to answer and immediately asked the next question; “Do you play the guitar late at night?”

I was a little embarrassed. I have a habit of practicing my guitar late at night. I thought the walls were thick enough to buffer the sound but apparently I was wrong.

“Did I keep you awake?” I asked. “I am sorry if I did.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” He retorted. “Every night I lay in bed listening to your playing. I find it very comforting.” Then his face slightly turned red after saying this. Maybe he felt that he was revealing too much. He waited for me to say something. I wasn’t sure what to say. Finally, I asked if he played. He nodded affirmatively and said that he liked to play Brazilian rock. However, he liked the finger-picking style I played. He asked about it. I told him that it was a classical form. He went silent for a minute. Then he said that his name was Lucas but he was moving tomorrow. It was the second time he said this. He held out his hand and shook my hand. He smiled shyly and said goodbye and went on his way.

This boy seemed like an introvert and it must have taken a lot of courage on his part to approach me. He belongs to a generation of internet and Facebook, a world inundated with virtual friends and relationships but lacking in any real human contact. Every night he heard a real person making some noise on his guitar. I know where I am musically and I won’t say that it was great playing that kept him company. I believe that it was the human contact. Through music, he had contact with a real person but there was a wall separating us. Today he overcome this barrier and made the connection. As I made my way to the bus stop my mind was reeling over our simple interaction and lo and behold, he was there waiting for his bus. He did not see me and I wasn’t going to get his attention. I am kind of an introvert as well. I don’t really feel comfortable approaching strangers. Then, all the sudden, like before, I heard the voice again but this time, it was a question; “Where are you going?”

I told him that I was going to a bookshop. He automatically said that he was going for some extra lessons with a tutor. He asked what I did for work and I told him that I worked with homeless children. He kept quiet for a while. I could see that his mind was thinking. He wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure what was appropriate. I asked if my neighbor was his grandmother. He said no but did not elaborate. I did not pursue the subject. I don’t need him to unravel his complicated family background. Besides, it wouldn’t add anything to this encounter. Then, there was a silence between us but it wasn’t awkward. It was just silence. When my bus arrived, he shook my hand again. He smiled and I could see that he was happy that he made the connection with me. I was grateful for this opportunity.

There was a wall between us. The barrier would have separated us forever. He took the initiative to overcome the wall. Now, we had this moment together. He has seen my face and I know his name. Maybe there will be other moments like this and maybe we will never see each other again. After all, he is moving. No matter what happens we had this moment together and it will remain with me. Something mysterious happened in my soul. I cannot explain it. It reminds me of the beauty of Christmas; God overcoming barriers and making Himself known to us.

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