begging

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Celebration of Life: New Words for a New Life

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3

On Felipe’s birthday it was raining heavily. It had been rained for the past few days. On days like this, the children and teens take shelter under the highway bridge. They won’t come out unless the sun comes out. I don’t blame them. The streets are usually wet and flooded with dirty water and a grey and gloomy sky only adds to the overall melancholic atmosphere. It is better to find a dry place and say put. No one dares to complain about the rain. We just came out of a severe drought. The rain is much needed even though a slight relief from its onslaught might be greatly appreciated. We were really hoping for sunny weather this particular day. We wanted to give Felipe his present. Unfortunately, it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. Felipe has spent many birthdays in the streets. Many times even he forgot his own birthday. He was not expecting any gifts or anyone to remember the day. Perhaps it is his defense mechanism. He won’t be disappointed if he doesn’t expect anything. On Christmas, we gave him a simple gift. He felt a little awkward. It was obvious that he does know how to receive a gift. He is accustomed to receiving lose change and leftover food but not gifts. Gifts are special. They are given with thought and consideration. Felipe has forgotten what it means to be remembered and considered. Maybe he had never experienced such sentiments. Consequently, he has no idea what to say or do when someone gives him a gift. He was lost for words. Maybe he didn’t possess the necessary words to express gratitude for something given with love and consideration.

Felipe lives in a world where people are a means to an end. His only connection with people outside his circle is through begging. It is a simple transaction. The people give out of pity and he receives and thanks them without much emotion or eye-contact. We have watched this exchange countless times. It is very dehumanizing for everyone concerned, as well as degrading for the person begging. They feel humiliated and so treat those who give as nothing more than human ATM machines. Sometimes people who give try to treat them with humanity but they are too close to recognize the kind gesture. It is quite heart breaking. No one escapes the degradative effect of begging.

Receiving a gift is different especially when it flows out a relationship. It is an invitation to a deeper and long-lasting relationship. This is something new for Felipe and the other children. They don’t know how to relate to people who remember them on special days or occasions. It is something new and perhaps even strange for them. They know that it demands a deeper response than the mere words of gratitude that they easily dispense in their begging. The gift forces them to open themselves to the giver. They have to respond to the love that is behind the gift. It makes them feel unsure and insecure because it is new. They don’t feel comfortable stepping out of their comfort zone but at the same time the lure of love is very attractive. They like the fact that someone remembers them on their birthdays. They like receiving letters from people whom they never met. They are touched that people are taking time to pray and think about them. All this is new to them. They know that it is something good and new. Now, they have to find the words to express this new thing that is unfolding in their lives.

“The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” John 3: 8

In search for something concrete and enduring, the kids come to the street. They want relationships that would help them discover their own self-worth. However, they only find others like themselves who are just as lost. Eventually they give up on finding anything good and worthwhile and drown themselves in whatever is available to help them escape their miserable situation. They have grown accustomed to this misery but things are changing. It is shaking the foundations of their existence in a good way. They don’t have the vocabulary to express their feelings and maybe their fears. Everything is new for them. They talk about it among themselves. They say that we are connecting them to people around the world whereas before people would just ignore or avoid them. They are accustomed to this. Now the foundation of their world is being shaken. They are not alone. Our personal foundation is being shaken as well. Our world is being transformed. We miss the children when it rains. Our day seems a little empty without our time with them. It seems almost pointless. We look forward to our time with the children and teens. They renew the hope in our lives. The hope that God is creating something new and eternal in our midst.

It rained for two days straight before we had a brief reprieve. Felipe was waiting for us. He looked as if we was waiting for us for two days. His face lit up and he wore a big welcoming smile. He said out loud, “You missed my birthday!” He wasn’t mad or sad. He was glad that he could say these words to someone who cared about his special day. We told him that we didn’t forget it. We had a small gift for him. He did not open it immediately. It is almost like he wanted to savor the moment for a while. Finally I had to prompt him to open the package. It was a comic book that he had wanted for a while. He smiled and thanked us. We told him that we had some letters for him as well. We sat down and read one. He wanted to write a reply immediately. In it, he wrote these words,

“God has sent many people to show us that He will care for us.”

It seems like he is discovering new words to express what is happening to him and the other children.

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Small Dog Licking His Wounds

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man’s table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham.- Luke16:19-21

The dogs made it into the parable. It’s funny that Jesus included them. They appear to be irrelevant to the story. I haven’t heard a sermon preached about them. Nevertheless, they caught my attention. It is hard to be among the homeless and not notice the dogs. It makes sense that Jesus included them in this parable.

Dogs in the Jesus’ period were considered to be nuisances. They were just a little better than rats. They were definitely not man’s best friend. They were despised animals and taught to fear human presence. Yet, they had no fear of Lazarus. They knew him. They were aware of his sufferings. They brought comfort to him in their own limited way. The rich man was not aware of Lazarus. This does not make him an evil man. Jesus never said this about him. He was just ignorant of Lazarus. He was too consumed in his wealth to notice the beggar’s condition. However, the dogs did.
Every day, we walk by the hundreds of Lazarus that beg and sleep in the streets. They have his wounds and sores. There are even dogs that lick their wounds. At the steps of the cathedral, there is a mutt named Billy. He belongs to no one but all the homeless including the children love him. They want him to be their pet. He is an independent spirit. He does his rounds everyday and licks and comforts the spiritual wounds of those who suffer. He growls at anyone who is not a homeless person. He only knows those who are abandoned and rejected. He has come to know us now. He comes and greets us whenever we sit at the steps of the cathedral. I think the key to understanding this parable lies in Billy the mutt.

“Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame,
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name”- Bob Dylan, from the song,“Jokerman”

This parable is not about rich and the poor. It just tells of the contrast between two different people. The social divide is not a new thing. It has always been there and will always be. Jesus said nothing about the social injustice. He did not work concepts like social systems. He worked with individuals. There were two individuals in extremely different circumstances. This is the reality. The rich man did not do anything to cause Lazarus’ pain, but he could have done something to relieve it. It was within his power. Alas, he was too occupied having a good time with his wealth. He must have believed that he was blessed unlike Lazarus who only had dogs for companionship. Maybe he did not help Lazarus because he did not know what could be done for him. It is easy for us to criticize this man as an outsider. However, most of us have money to give to the person who begs around the corner or at the highway junction. Most of us try not to make eye contact and pretend we don’y see him. It is not because we are heartless. We just don’t know how to help in a meaningful way. The dogs did not think too much about it. They just did what they knew. Lazarus’ wounds needed to be tended. They did it. We can perhaps look beyond the money and try to discover the wounds of those who have been reduced to this desperate state. Maybe then, we can offer something more meaningful than food and money.

Alex came up to us one day at the steps of cathedral and showed us that he had gotten fifty dollars from begging. On top of that, someone had bought him a takeaway lunch and a bag full of cookies and chocolates for snacks afterwards. He was truly pleased. Then he sat there for a good fifteen minutes watching all the people going in and out of the cathedral. He decided that he was going to beg from the people. He asked for almost anything. If he saw someone chewing gum, he would ask for some. If someone was drinking a can of soda, he would ask for the rest. It was comical and yet quite revealing to us. He was begging even though he had no reason to do it. He had more than enough money for the day. Yet something was motivating him to beg. Alex is not a greedy person. He is actually quite generous. He always shares what he receives with the other children and teens. He was begging for a different reason. He was very selective. He wanted things from specific people and when they gave him what he wanted, he looked almost sad. He wanted certain people to notice him. He was begging not for monetary gain but for emotional recognition. His sad and disappointed look was because his only connection with these people ended after he received what he had asked for. Maybe he does not even realize this himself. He never asked anything from us. He knows that he has a connection with us. The other children and teens do activities with us because they know that these are symbolic gestures to show that there is a real connection between us. Begging is not just monetary. It is a plea for some human contact. It is the last and desperate attempt to reach out to humanity.

One of the saddest things for the homeless is to be invisible. Many people ignore them. Not because they are bad or unkind. They don’t how to deal with them. The homeless do many things to avoid being invisible. We have seen the homeless do weird dance routines and sing out of tune just to get some attention. We have noticed that the ones that smell the worse are the ones who are most introverted homeless people. Their dirty and pungent smell is not just a lack of hygiene. It is also their only attempt to be noticed in this world. They would do anything not to be ignored. Unfortunately, it is these very actions that sometimes keep people away from them.

Lazarus must have not been a pleasant sight. He was covered with sores in the hot desert environment. It would have been easier to ignore him than to try to do something. It is understandable why one would want to do this. However, it is not justifiable. Ignorance is not an accepted excuse. Perhaps the rich man should paid attention to the dogs. They did not have much to offer but they gave Lazarus what they could.

Lazarus was not upset that the rich man was rich. He did not think that his predicament was due to unfair social structures. All he wanted was to be satisfied with the crumbs from the table. He deserved more than this for sure but he would have been so happy with so little. The rich man had the possibility to do something good. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware of Lazarus’ existence. He was too busy enjoying the fruits of his wealth. In the end, he only had the poverty of his soul to show for throughout eternity.

As I am writing this post, I remembered meeting a young man who used to be in square with the children and teens. He was a homeless child at one point as well. He just moved to my neighborhood recently. He is sleeping on the streets with a group of homeless adults. Incidentally, we took notice of him because he was a tough looking guy who had a poodle mutt as a pet. He found it abandoned and they were inseparable ever since. Unfortunately, the dog is gone and he is alone and sad. He saw us the other day and asked us to visit him. He said that we were like street parents to him. He did not want money from us. He just wants our time. He said that he was lonely. He is our Lazarus. We have to visit him. We walk thirty minutes to be with the other children and teens and this young man is just a block away from my apartment building. Yet I haven’t been down to see him. The truth is that I feel so comfortable here that I forget about this young man had asked us for a visit.

I am thankfully to Lazarus for reminding me that I could be like this rich man. It is easy to indulge in our own comfort zone and forget those who need their wounds to be ministered. I am going to look for this young man after I post this on my blog.

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Money in Ministry

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”-Matthew 6:24

Aline is 18 years old. She has been in the streets since she was ten. Before this, she and her sister were taken away from her family and placed in a State-sponsored orphanage. She always said good things about the place but at the same time, she knew that it would never be her home. The orphanages can only accommodate children and teens until they are eighteen. Nothing in the system provides shelter for them after this age. Some are sent back home and some end up in the streets. Aline has spent most of her teenage life looking for a permanent home. As strange as it sounds, Aline ran away to the streets in search for a home. She tried staying with her mother for a while but she did not feel that she had a permanent place there. She never told us her reasons. She just said that it wasn’t her place. Aline is looking for something and she doesn’t have an idea what it is. She never had anyone to guide or help her to navigate through life. In many ways, she is not much different from any teenager who has just turned eighteen. The only difference is that she is living in the streets but now she is tired of it. She wants a place to call home.

It is possible for someone like Aline to rent a place in the center. It would not be ideal in any sense of the word. It is usually a small room with shared bathroom in an house and usually they will ask for an exorbitant rent for what they offer but it will still be affordable for her. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a permanent job. She has been doing errands for people and managed to get by with the little they give her. In the beginning of this year, she made up her mind to free herself from any substance abuse. We are proud to say that she has managed this. I have known Aline for almost two years. She has become quite special to us. On her birthday, Mary baked a cake for her and she came to our apartment to celebrate the occasion. We didn’t not realize that this simple gesture initiated a new phase in our relationship. She began to open up to us. Recently, she invited us to watch a movie with her and then quickly stressed that we each should pay for our own way. This was her way of saying that she wanted to spend time with us and not take advantage of our finances. Now, Aline needs some money to rent a room. She has never asked for money from us. She has been sleeping in the streets for the past few days. She left her bag of clothes in our apartment. They were her only possessions and she was afraid that they might stolen while she is asleep at night. She sleeps with the other boys we know in the tunnel. They look up to her as an older sister. This is something temporary. She is looking for a small room to rent. As I already I mentioned before she had limited income. We have the money to help her. However, there is a problem because money is always problematic.

We feel comfortable buying a meal for someone. We would give money to buy clothes for someone. We give to charitable organizations without any hesitation. However, we find it difficult to hand money directly to someone who needs it. We feel uncomfortable and annoyed when someone asks for money. We prefer to look the other way or avoid any eye contact when we see someone begging at the traffic light. In our mind, we have tons of reasons for not giving money to someone directly. Most of them are valid reasons. We don’t want them to use the money unwisely. However, we never question ourselves if we use our money wisely. If we make an inventory of the things we spent our money, can we say honestly say that we spent our money wisely? Well, most of us, including myself, think that our money is our business. No one has the right to tell us how we should spend it. It is our money and we earned it. In reality, we need to question the truth of this mindset. Maybe if we are atheists, then we can believe this way. However, if we are people who take our faith seriously, then we need to ask ourselves who is the owner of our money? It is a question we need to ask on our knees. It is not a political or idealogical question. It is a spiritual one that only God can answer in our hearts. However, we need to be willing to listen to Him. The danger is that we might not like the answer He will give us.

In Jesus’ time, the Jewish people were exposed to all kinds of idolatry. However, Jesus never once said anything about these foreign gods. He only addressed one deity that has an universal appeal to all peoples. He called this deity, mammon. There is no indication that among the Jewish tradition that money had been personified in such a way. What He said radicalized his society. In the Old Testament, money was considered a visible sign of God’s blessings. Abraham, Job and Solomon were considered blessed and material wealth was one of the signs. In the gospel, Jesus, as usual, scandalizes everyone by revealing that money is a destructive god trying to compete with God. It has the potential to dominate anyone who tries to have the best of both worlds. It is impossible to serve both God and Mammon.

Idolatry is about power. It is usurping power from God. Money has the capability of giving us power. Those who have much wealth have less reasons to depend on God. It is not uncommon for people in an affluent society to think that everything can be resolved with money. It is not just the rich that think this way. Both rich and poor can be seduced by this false god. Warnings about the dangers of mammon are not limited to a certain class of people but to everyone who thinks that money is the answer to their problems. However, we live in this world and we need to use money to function in this world. We need to be careful how we use it. We need to have the right relationship with money.

“Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”-Job 1:21

The was the attitude of Job in the Bible. It sums up the attitude of the righteous rich in the Old Testament. They were fully aware that their wealth did not belong to them. When it was taken from them, they did not put up a fuss and claim that it was their hard work and good business sense that helped them acquire their wealth. As Christians, we need to recognize that everything including opportunities to make and earn money comes to us through the grace of God. It has nothing to do with our personal merit but only the grace of God. Our money does not belong to us. It has been given to us to participate in God’s work. Even then, we cannot be foolish to think that money is a neutral force. Jesus did not think it was and this is why He identified it as a false god.

We hesitate to give money to the person begging because he might use the money for drugs or alcohol. This is a valid concern. However, it also good to consider the spiritual danger we are putting ourselves in if we refuse to give money away. If we keep the money for our purpose, we are exposing ourselves to greater spiritual danger. There is a spiritual force behind money that makes us depend solely on it. It has the tendency to make us think that we need money to have a secure and peaceful life. The more money we have the more we desire it. Eventually we will find ourselves pushing God in the corner of our lives where we go to Him whenever our money can’t do the job. This is the temptation money brings in our lives. Giving it away is God’s way of providing us a way out of this temptation.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.-1 Cor. 10:13

God might be putting someone in our lives (apart from our families and friends) to share our money so that we can be saved from the power of money. As Christians, we are citizens of another Kingdom that functions radically different than this world. This world uses money to buy favors and assert influences. The Kingdom of God works against this principle. One of the ways we can use money according to the values of the gospel is to give it away.

I am not suggesting that you should give your money to the church or even this ministry or any missionary endeavor. Jesus never mentions any of this as an alternative. Also we should not hand out thousands of dollars to the person on the street. This still remains a unwise thing to do. However, we can follow the words of Jesus; “I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”(Luke 16:9) The basis of our giving should be to enhance our relationships. However, this does not mean that relationships should be based on money. It shouldn’t be a paternalistic relationship where the giver assumes a superior position over the recipient. Mammon is very sneaky and can use altruistic means to dominate our soul. The only way to defeat this false god is allowing our hearts to be guided by the true and living God. We need to pray that Holy Spirit will open the door for a relationship with the person begging at the side of the street. It means treating the person like a human being. Our giving can open to the door for us to say a kind word. We can give in way to show that we desire more than monetary relationship with them. However, none of this would be possible without prayer. Our giving can only transmit God’s love if we open ourselves to be used by God in this way.

We want Aline to know us as people who love and care for her. This takes time. We don’t want to use mammon to accelerate this process. It does not have the power to do this. Only God can help us develop this relationship. The hold of mammon is dangerous for us and we don’t want it to contaminate our relationship with her. We will use money in our relationship with her. We will pray for wisdom and guidance. We desire our relationship to be based on love and nothing else. We don’t want to give mammon any room to determine the direction this friendship.

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