Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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The Problem of A Clean House

“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first.”-Luke 11:24-26

Her father would drink all evening. Arriving home, he was violent with everyone beginning with her mother. No one was spared the abuse. Understandably, she grew to despise him. The first chance she had, she ran away to the streets. She was determined to make the streets her home. Consequently, she became one of the toughest girls in the streets. She would still occasionally return to her house to visit her siblings and mother whom she loved dearly. She was willing to put up with her father’s abuse just to spend a few days with them. On one of her short stays at home, her father came home unexpectedly early in the evening. He looked different. He was sober. He shared with the family an astounding news; he had accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior. He promised to stop drinking and start attending church on a regular basis. The family was naturally skeptical. They had only known this man as a violent drunk. It was hard for them to imagine anything different. She decided to stay home just to see if her father was able to keep his promise. She was amazed that her father was able to overcome his alcoholism from one day to another. He replaced the bar with the church. He went there on almost on a daily basis. Within a short period, he was already sharing his testimony and given leadership roles. Everyone in the family went along to support him. She was telling me this story while she was in the streets. Anticipating a tragic end, I asked whether her father went back to drinking? She replied that he never touched a drink after his conversion and this was few years ago. However, she said that this was the only change. He continued to be violent and domineering. Since his conversion, he spent more time at home and home life for the rest of the family became intolerable. To a certain extent, it was worse than before. Instead of being drunk, her father became self-righteous and used the Bible as a justification for all his manipulative behavior. Finally, she could not stand her father’s religious diatribes and abusive ways and she left for good. She broke all contact with her family. I had this conversation twenty years ago. I never forgot any detail. It made me question the kind of the gospel that was being preached.

Many times I have heard testimonies about people who were involved in addictions and substance abuse and how they changed their lives around after they found God. These testimonies are often greeted with applause and sometimes they have even brought us to tears. I am sure that this girl’s father was one of these who has shared his testimony. These stories of overcoming addictions and self-destructive habits can be inspiring and encouraging but they are not to be confused with the power of the gospel. There is nothing wrong with testimonies in themselves. However, what we consider to be testimony-worthy may not necessarily reflect the true message of the gospel. Our testimonies should testify to the power of the gospel and not mere house cleaning stories. As pointed out by Jesus in the above parable, this is not the gospel. We don’t really need the gospel to clean our house. Therapy, meditation, joining a social movement, being part of a support group … The options are almost infinite; all of these things can help us to clean our house. They just clean up for something else to occupy the space. It could be something better or worse but Jesus seems to say that it is always something worse.

“For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”-Matthew 5:20

The Pharisees in the first century were into “clean houses”. They ensured that they were above reproach in their behavior and observance of the Law. They were not necessarily hypocritical. They genuinely desired to please God with their lives. Their spirituality was at odds with the message of Jesus because He claimed that what they did was not enough. Jesus used harsh words to describe this type of spirituality. He said that it prepared their souls to be possessed by worse and more dangerous demons.

Religion has been under scrutiny and attack these days. Religious people have shown that they have the capability to do dangerous harm with their words and actions. We cannot hide from these attacks. We have to be honest enough to accept that these attacks have some grounds. It is not just the terrorist attacks. In São Paulo, church leaders have been using the pulpit to promote their selfish ambitions and it has brought much disgust to the public. People have become skeptical about religion in general and more specifically the church. The arguments against religion are still quite infantile and biased. This does not mean that serious Christians should ignore them. We need to look beyond the arguments and see that there is a great shortcoming present. Saying “Christianity is not a religion but a relationship” is not an option or an argument. It is avoiding the question. People outside look at the church as a religion. If it is different, then they need to see the difference in those who follow Christ. Unfortunately, most Christians are satisfied with “clean house” gospel. This is the other gospel and, in reality, it is just Pharisaical religion disguised as the message of Jesus. Jesus came to preach a spirituality that would be superior to that of the Pharisees.

Strangely the parable quoted at the beginning of this post is one of the most commonly cited verses among the children and teens. Whenever they hear this, it resonates with them. Where most of the poor live, there are an abundance of churches. They have relatives who can cite biblical verses one minute and then say hateful things the next. They have seen gangsters go to church and pray and then turn around and attack a rival gang member mercilessly. They have seen the policemen in their communities preach in their churches and then accept bribes and humiliate their brothers and sisters for just walking in the street in the evening. They are inundated with the religion of the Pharisees. It is a religion of words and outward appearances and uses the tools of this corrupt world. It does not matter where we live, whether in the slums of São Paulo where most of children and teens come from or the middle class neighborhoods of our respective nations. This religion of the Pharisees is present. It doesn’t matter what religion we follow; we can be Buddhist, Muslim, Christian or Hindu, hiding behind a spirituality of words and appearances and still living within the values of the corrupt world.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”-Roman 8:5

The gospel of Jesus is about ushering in the New Creation. It is living our lives based on radically new values that are incompatible with the world’s values. We have had our fair share of tragic and violent events this year. There is always an ethical argument that follows immediately after these occurrences. Christians appear to use arguments grounded on values of this world to debate against each other. They openly embrace the principles of this world to solve the problems. This is fine if they are not people who are living their lives according to the Spirit. However, if anyone who embraces violence and hatred as a response to violence in the world, then they need to question themselves in the light of scripture. I have heard people say that we need to live in reality as well. Unfortunately this type of attitude puts in question whether people who claim to be Christian understand the gospel. The gospel faces reality in its raw and brutal form. It provides us with an answer but it may not be an answer that we like to hear.

As Christians, we need to go back to the Cross for the answer. It is our key to face the unjust brutality of this world. The silence of Jesus at his trial is a powerful weapon for us as Christians. Jesus did not passively submit to the will of the tyrants and tormentors of this world. He actively opposed them with His silence. He did not succumb to their ways and methods. He did not resort to using their tools to fight against them. He ushered a new era where the Kingdom of God will establish itself and all the corrupt ways of the world cannot deter it. The Pharisees and Roman leaders are long gone and forgotten. The Silent Christ reigns in the hearts and minds of all those who seek His face.

People want to reduce religion in all its forms to house cleaning. People are uncomfortable with the presence of children and adults living in the streets because it fills their lives with unnecessary visual inconvenience. They want to clean it up by moving them out of the streets and placing them in shelter hidden from sight. We hear news about people killing people senselessly. We want to clean it up with violence. We will only be making room for something worse and more destructive. Jesus is not into house cleaning. He is building a new house. Its foundations are stated clearly by one of his followers who understood this best.

And the fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law- Galatians 5:22-23

These are not concrete answers to problems that we are facing in this world. They are attitudes that we need to embrace to understand how to live according to the Spirit in this world. When the demon comes back to a house and finds it to be restructured and occupied with values and principles that are incompatible with its own, he will have no choice but to remain in the wilderness.

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Being Available

And it came to pass, in their going on, that he entered into a certain village, and a certain woman, by name Martha, did receive him into her house,
and she had also a sister, called Mary, who also, having seated herself beside the feet of Jesus, was hearing the word.- Luke 10:38-39

It has been a while since we saw Igor. An unexpected knock on our door on a Sunday afternoon and he was standing outside smiling. Looking different. Looking very much like a normal twenty year old. Teens living in the streets tend to have a style of their own; the same haircut, similar clothes, a distinctive way of standing, walking and speaking. All these characteristic were absent in the person outside. He wore a dress shirt and he was clean cut and well-groomed. He looked like an average person and this was excellent. He came in and hugged us.

It had taken him almost two hours to get to our place. He lives on the outskirts while we are in the old center. He is staying in a halfway house for drug addicts run by a Pentecostal church. He is not interned there. The church has offered a temporary place for him until he is ready to find a place of his own. He worked briefly restoring furniture in a used furniture store. Igor was the last one employed and when they downsized, he was the first to go. Thankfully, he wasn’t discouraged. He believes that something better will come along. For now, he helps out where ever he can in the halfway house.

Life is the halfway house is very structured. Every one follows a strict schedule including Igor. It is helping him to have the structure that he never had in his life in the streets. He changed the way he dresses and looks; he felt it necessary to leave behind everything that he learned in the streets except for the things that inspire him to become better. I suppose that we are one of the things- well if that wasn’t true, he wouldn’t have spent two hours on the bus to visit us.

Igor was able to stay a year away from the street life. For most of us, a year is not a long time. However, for children and teens who could not bear to be in a new environment for more than hour, one year is quite a significant period. He still feels a strong attachment to his friends. This is understandable. They were the closest thing to a family that he had. He visits them whenever he can. He wants them to know that there is life beyond homelessness. This is a beautiful thing. I asked him if he ever felt tempted to return to the streets, after all, it was his comfort zone. He told us that he never felt comfortable in the streets but it was the only option for him then. Now, he has options.

Igor’s conversation with us was peppered with religious jargon. There is nothing with wrong this. He knows that we are religious and he wants us to know that he is learning this new vocabulary to communicate with us. He is figuring out with each new social group that he encounters he needs to learn how to communicate in a new way. He does not use these words to hide behind them. The words express his genuine feelings and experiences. For us, it was strange to hear them coming out from his mouth. We were used to the old Igor but this new person was beaming with hope and life. He came to share a special event that took place in his life. He was just recently baptized. He said that it was a decision that he pondered seriously. He did not want to be one of those people who find religion and then go back to their old way of living. He wanted to make a life-changing decision. It is evident that this was a genuine one. We cannot but rejoice with him.

I asked Igor what made him make this bold step of leaving everything behind in the streets. Throughout his time in the streets, there have been many religious and social workers who have worked with him. He told us that these people were also present but it was very rare that someone would actually listen to him and help him express his own thoughts and understandings. It was only recently that he met people who took him seriously and allowed him to open up to them. In a simple way, Igor put some flesh and blood to the concept of ministry of presence. It is not just being there but it is being available to the person whom we serve allowing them to open up to us. There are people who want to help but only a few are available to those whom they serve.

Martha and Mary in the text above invited Jesus to their home but only one made herself available to Jesus. The former was busy trying to make sure everything was perfect for Jesus. She didn’t even ask him what he wanted. She assumed that she knew. Mary did absolutely nothing; she just sat and listened. She waited for Jesus to let her know what He desired.

Another incident from some years ago is permanently imprinted in my mind. It was nothing dramatic, just a simple conversation between my friend and an homeless adult in the streets of Montreal. I was doing my final year of seminary then. It was scene that would be common in any big city. We were on our way to a coffee shop when a homeless man sitting on the pavement asked us for some change. Our friend heard him first and turned to him and told him kindly that we were sorry but we didn’t usually give money. My friend then introduced himself and us to this man. He told the man that we would love to sit and chat with him whenever we see him. He assured the man that we would be happy to give him our time freely. I can’t remember the name of this homeless person but never will forget what he said afterwards. He told my friend that he gave him something that was worth much more than anything money could buy. He thanked us for treating him like a human being. The attitude of my friend is an attitude of a person who is available. Today he is a Lutheran pastor of a small church and he continues to avail himself to people of all sorts and conditions. My friend is an ordinary person and he did something very simple and ordinary and made an impact in my life. Mary was an ordinary young woman and we are still reading about her after two thousand years. On the other hand, we shouldn’t think of Martha as a negative example. She was a good person and her intentions to serve were genuine. People like Martha do not have a messiah complex. They are sincere people who want to make this world a better place. I think that it is cruel to degrade people like her. Jesus did not do it. He just showed us a more perfect way.

Being available is not just listening. I have known people who are good listeners but they were not available. Being available means that we genuinely believe that the person to whom we are listening to has something to offer to us. It does not mean that we pretend that the vacuous things that people say are truly profound. Such an attitude in itself is condescending. We have to genuinely believe that people have something to offer even if they appear to be superficial. This is where being a Christian makes a big difference. A Christian believes in the active presence of the Holy Spirit. He or she believes in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on all peoples as narrated in the Acts of the Apostles. Then, we must also necessarily believe that the Holy Spirit is present and working in the lives of all people. All peoples, even those who reject God; a hardened atheist has the presence of the Holy Spirit working in him or her. Many times people do not recognize this presence. They might be wrestling the Spirit the way Jacob wrestled with Him (Genesis 32:22-32) and they may not recognize it. They might never find out the true nature of their inner struggles unless they can have the opportunity to share this with someone. People will not often reveal these struggles or questions or insights if they are not sure if the person is truly open to them. When we decide to be available to people, we are not adopting a posture or an attitude but we are engaging in a spiritual discipline. It is a kind of prayer when we ask the Holy Spirit to open the heart of the person to share his or her depth with us. It is something requiring faith on our part; Faith that believes that the Holy Spirit is truly alive and active in our midst.

It is not easy to be Martha in this world. It takes time and energy. However, it is even harder to be a Mary. It means putting aside our prejudices and preconceived notions to listen and believe that the people whom we serve can actually help us to understand God even better. Igor met people who were available to him. They helped him understand his struggles and doubts. They helped him understand that his growing discomfort of the street life was the prompting of the Holy Spirit to move on and seek something better. We hope that we were some of these people who were available to him. The fact that he travelled two hours to see us as a good sign that he considers as such. On our part, I can safely say that we are receiving something from him. Igor did enrich our lives. When we saw him sitting in our living room sharing about the new things in his life, we felt privileged to have a small part in his life. We cannot take credit for the things that are happening in his life. We did not find a place for him to live. We did not get him a job. We did nothing for him in this sense and yet he thought that it was important for us to know all these good things that are happening in his life.

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Liturgical Expressions

And it came to pass, in his being in a certain place praying, as he ceased, a certain one of his disciples said unto him, `Sir, teach us to pray, as also John taught his disciples.’- Luke 11:1

The train was chugging along slowly. It was just the right speed for Bruno and Felipe to climb aboard into one of the empty wagons. Felipe had done this several times. Bruno was still a novice. He is not one to make frequent trips to the beaches like the other children and teens. Once he got there, he realized why he never liked the beach. The children go to one of the most polluted beaches in the coast of São Paulo. There is nothing attractive there. I think that the excitement of going to the beach was actually better than the place itself. A major part of the journey to and fro was in cargo trains. Felipe and Bruno were on their way back to the city.

All the wagons looked the same to Bruno, but they were different. Some wagons were reserved for sacks of sugar and they had an entrance on the side which was fairly easy to open. Others were cylinder shaped and had an entrance on the top. Only Filipe knew which was which. They were running along side and it was raining heavily. This slowed down Felipe a little and Bruno managed to jump onto the train first. He held on to the bottom of the ladder at the side of a wagon. He held out his hand to Felipe but before he could grab onto it the train picked up the speed. It happened so fast that Bruno nearly fell and he had to use both hands to hold securely to the train. His friend could not keep up anymore and eventually gave up. The heavy raindrops were beating on his face mercilessly and everything was wet and slippery. Bruno couldn’t see anything clearly. He quickly climbed up the ladder and found himself on top of the wagon. He just wanted to get to a safe and dry place. He saw the entrance lid and with much effort he opened it. It was dark below and he can’t really remember how but the next thing he knew was that he was at the bottom of the wagon. As he landed on the floor, he cut his chin. The pain and shock caused him to faint.

He woke up after what felt like a few hours and realized what had happened. He searched for a door or exit in the dark wagon but there was only the one above him. There was no ladder. He felt something like seeds on the floor and he picked them up and realized that they were dried corn kernels. He knew what was going to happen. He had seen it before. The opening on the top was where they would funnel the corn into the wagon and fill it to the brim. He remembered hearing about some children being buried alive under corn and now he was facing a similar fate. The prospect of a painful death made him feel desperate and lost. He has had a tough life but he still enjoyed his life. He did not want to die and especially alone and forgotten in the wagon. The train made several stops and each time Bruno frantically banged and kicked on the walls hoping someone would hear on the other side but no one did. His only hope was prayer. He prayed and prayed for a miracle. However, at each stop nothing happened. He had some water with him. He took a sip each time and tried to conserve as much he could. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to stuck in the wagon.

After spending days in the train, he heard a noise from below him at one of the stops. He heard some voices and then a bright light coming out from the floor. There was another opening which could only be accessed from the outside. The voices belonged to people who were stealing the residual corn on the bottom of the wagon. Bruno yelled at them to help him but the people ran away thinking that it was the police or maybe even a ghost. Bruno crawled out of the tiny opening and yelled at the people to stop running. Finally an older woman came back to help him. Bruno hugged her and told her that she was an answer to his prayers. The woman took him to her home and fed him and took care of him for a few days. He was in another city far away from São Paulo. It took him a whole month to return the city.

Bruno just recently acquired a new notebook. For most of children, a notebook is not something they would treasure but Bruno is different. He is a learner. He notes down everything he learns and most of it is in English. He is highly motivated to learn English. Everyday he is asking us to explain certain English phrases that he was heard from songs or movies. His old notebook was torn and tattered from much use. Someone gave him a new notebook and he wanted to show it us. In the first page, he wrote down a simple prayer: ”Thank you, God, for giving one more day to live and enjoy Life.” He told us that everyday when he wakes up he says this simple prayer. He had told us the story of his close brush with death a couple of days prior. We know that this prayer that he wrote is not just something that came out of conventional wisdom but it was something that came from his own personal experience. Bruno is truly grateful for his life.

Many people would look at Bruno’s life and his clothes and the places where he sleeps and think that it is not much of a life. I have heard people say that it would have been much better if these children had not been born at all then for them to suffer such a fate. However, Bruno wanted so desperately to live when he was faced with the prospect of death. He did not just want to live but he enjoys his life. His prayer of gratitude comes from his own life experience. Many go through life without a thought of gratitude for their lives. They might have some complaints and frustrations about things they have or do not possess but Bruno is filled with gratitude just to be alive. However, this does not mean that his life is wonderful. It is not wonderful and he might be happy but it is still not enough. Maybe this sounds judgmental on my part. I don’t believe that Bruno should have the kind of life that I lead. I think that Bruno knows that there is more to life than what he has known so far. He has formulated a prayer to give thanks for what he understands now about his life. It is a good prayer. However, it is just a start.

Everyday we start our work with a simple prayer. We never wrote it down but it is the same everyday almost word for word. It has become our own liturgical prayer that came out of our life experiences in the streets. It summed up what we sense God is calling us to do. We ask God to give us an opportunity to share His love with one child and teach us to discern His presence in this child’s life. Without fail, we get to spend time with at least one boy or girl who tends to show us the presence of the living God in our midst. For the past few weeks, this boy has been Bruno. He shared his story with us on one of these occasions. I believe that both our prayers have brought us together: Bruno’s recognition of the gift of his life and our desire to discover the immensity of God’s love through our interaction with the children. However, there is one prayer that is the foundation of all our actions. It is the prayer that came out of Jesus’ life experience.

The disciples understood that prayers are not just words spoken spontaneously but liturgical expressions based on life experiences. Jesus prayed the same prayer daily because it reflected everything He understood about life. Bruno says the same prayer daily because of the experiences that he has had. We say the same prayers because of our experiences in the streets. However, our prayers are not just about our experiences but they are about our encounter with God. The disciples saw that Jesus had a deeper and more profound understanding of God. They wanted to learn the way Jesus prayed so that they could experience God in the way He knew the Father. They wanted to make his prayer their very own and Jesus offered it to them.

Prayer shapes the way we understand our reality. Bruno never really considered the wonder and beauty of life until the moment he was stuck in the wagon. Being saved from this incident made him realize that life is a gift. Perhaps it is this realization that draws him to people who would help him discover its beauty. When Bruno shared his prayer wth us, he invited us to participate in this journey with him. When Jesus shared his prayer with us, He did the same. Prayers are not mere words but they are religious expressions of life experiences. In a way, Bruno has helped me discover a different way at looking at prayer especially the Lord’s prayer. It is not a religious formula but it is an invitation to discover the wealth and depth of this gift that is called Life.

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Living Faith

‘Whoever may receive this child in my name, doth receive me, and whoever may receive me, doth receive Him who sent me, for he who is least among you all — he shall be great.’-Luke 9:48

The subject of discussion among Jesus’ disciples was greatness. It is an universal subject. From the time of our birth, our parents aspire greatness for us. It would be sad if they didn’t. Young parents dream of greatness for their children. They always tend to think that their children are extremely intelligent even though the rest of the world might have a different opinion on the subject. Parent use bumper stickers boasting that their child is a honor student and there seems to be an abundance of honor students recently. The average student must be a minority. In a month’s time, we will watch the Olympic games and we will remember the Gold Medalists who will be hailed as heroes and role models. The ones that win the silver and bronze medals don’t really get the same attention. Only number one counts.

Our children living in the streets share the same aspirations. Maybe they don’t desire to be a gold medalist or a genius but they want to be successful enough to escape the stigma of extreme poverty. They see the approval in people’s eyes when someone drives by in a fancy car. They can see people treated differently when their clothes and appearance bears the markings of financial success. They see wealth as a sign of greatness because it has the power to get them out of poverty.

The desire for greatness is something inherent in humans. We may have different ways of defining greatness but the desire is universal. Perhaps it is something linked with the consciousness of our mortality and finitude. People who have achieved great things are remembered. Perhaps our desire to be great is a desire to be remembered even after we are gone.

Whenever I read the above verse, I always think about my friend, Victor. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us. He died tragically in a motorcycle accident about fifteen years ago. I met him while I served in the military in Singapore. He came from a troubled background. In his early teens, he was arrested for being involved in street brawl with a rival gang. He was put on probation for two years. As part of his probation program he was required to do some volunteer work and was sent to a group home for adults with severe Down syndrome. Living most of my life in large cities, I have had the privilege of knowing people with Down Syndrome and usually the ones I know are very independent. However, this wasn’t the case of the adults in the group home where Victor volunteered. Their state was so severe that they could not perform the basic bodily functions without assistance. Victor spent his weekends with these young people. After his probation, he continued working there and he was there every Saturday until the day he died. This work became the highlight of his week. He invited me to visit this home with him one Saturday. He wanted me to meet his friends. I can clearly remember my first impression. I felt overwhelmed by these young people’s disabilities. Many of them could hardly speak. They tried to say something to me but I could not understand a single word. Victor, on the other hand, understood these gentle people perfectly. He proudly introduced each one of them to me. He cherished each one because they saved his life and he is forever indebted to them. Victor received these little ones and his life was transformed. Victor was not a Christian but he was always curious about the gospels. He read them several times over and we often had deep and enriching conversations about Jesus together. All I can say is that Victor loved Jesus but he died a Buddhist.

Jesus said that in order to be great in the Kingdom of God, we need to receive a child in his name. Receiving is not to be confused with tolerating. We can tolerate the presence of children but we may not receive them. We can extend this to the presence of the homeless in our congregation or women in leadership and the list could go on and on. We can tolerate all these people but it does not mean that we receive them. We can only receive from someone when we believe that they have something valuable to contribute. Jesus is saying something radical then and today. Almost all books on leadership will tell us that in order to be successful, we need to surround ourselves with successful people so that we can receive their inspiration and aptitude for success. The underlying meaning is that we need to distance ourselves from the not so successful people. Jesus tells us to receive children who have yet to prove themselves in the world. The significance of this could only mean that the Kingdom of God doesn’t gauge success and failure according to the standards of the world but according to the understanding of who Jesus is.

Children understand their faith in a different way than adults. There is nothing remarkable about this observation. The problem is that most of the time we only appreciate the way adults understand faith. As adults, we have a tendency to reduce faith into something theoretical. We tend to reduce faith into something doctrinal or membership in a church. We reduce theology as something reserved for the experts or leisure reading and discussions. We are satisfied with limiting our faith to ritualistic practices. Whereas children are constantly trying to figure how their faith fits into the world they live. They are truly theologians in this sense. If we read classical theologians, they will see that they deal with questions that children commonly ask. Maybe we don’t realize this or pay attention to this. Maybe this is because we don’t receive children. We don’t realize that their questions about God, even though they might seem absurd and frustrating, come from a dialogue that they are having with their faith and the reality in which they find themselves. Adults tend to settle for simplistic answers but children keep questioning and questioning until an adult forces them to accept simplistic answers. However, when we receive their questions with seriousness, we will discover that they have something valuable to contribute to us. They can help us to remember that living faith is a dialogue with our reality. Adults think that children must be entertained in church so that church would be fun. This is perhaps harsh statement but I will leave it here. It is something for us to ponder because it is detrimental to their faith if their religious experience is reduced to fun. There is room for play but it should only serve to help the children be comfortable enough to ask questions about faith.

None of our children in the streets are atheists. They have had hard lives but we never heard anyone of them blame God. It is because they are a living faith in God. They did not settle for simplistic solutions. They don’t think that they are in the center of God’s universe. They are still trying to figure out where their place is in this universe. However, they need to find someone who is willing to just listen to them. They will stop asking questions when there is no one that listens to them. When we listen to these children, they help us get in touch with an aspect of our faith which was dormant for some time. About twenty years ago a young boy told me that God was His everything. I did not take him seriously. I thought that he had just repeated what he had heard from other adults. Maybe he did, but I will never know. Now I know better. I will listen the next time this happens. My friend, Victor, discovered in the young adults with whom he worked the joy of living. He received them. He listened to them. God opened his eyes to see that their severe disability did not hinder them from knowing their place in this universe. They loved their lives and Victor learned to treasure his own through them. Mary and I are learning to receive these children and they are teaching us to see the beauty of this life. We need our children as much as they need us to understand how our God works in our life. We need to receive children to save ourselves from reducing the gospel into a set of doctrines and rituals. The children need us to help them formulate the questions they have about their place in the wonderful existence that God has given us.

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Intimate Silence

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)

It takes a while to get accustomed to noise and São Paulo is a noisy city. Where we live, there is never hiatus from the hustle and bustle of downtown city life. There are always cars honking, loud engines of buses and trucks, the police sirens followed by the blaring ambulances, and not to forget the endless supply of drunk people who think that they have wonderful singing voices. We live on the first floor and there is a stop light just outside our window. Every time there is a red light we are tormented by the music that blares out of the cars. Sometimes people park their cars below our apartment building and blast their favorite music from the car stereos. It almost never the kind of music that I enjoy and most frequently the kind that I detest; such is life. This is a noisy city. It is a typical city. There is never moment of silence.

The children sleep under a highway bridge now. They were kicked out of the square when they had been sleeping for the past three months. They are back under the noisy bridge. It is dark and dirty. Rats and cockroaches are their companions. The highway is always busy day and night. It is a dangerous place for a pedestrian to cross and it is not uncommon for our children to get hit by cars while crossing. The noise is unbearable but they claim that they are accustomed to it. I am not sure if it is possible. Maybe it has become comforting to them.

I have been to the home of a family that lived in extreme poverty but they had a TV and a radio. I don’t believe these were purchased. Someone gave these to them. People tend to be very generous with the non-essentials of life. When we visited them, they had both the TV and the radio on at full volume and yet no one was watching or listening. When we sat down to talk, they did not even want to lower down the volume. Finally, I asked them to turn it off so that we could talk. Then the silence invaded our space as aggressively as the noise. It was quite intimidating. We sat there and faced each other in the uncomfortable silence. It confronted the true nature of our relationship with this family. It was not one that was comfortable to be with each other in the silence. I did not realize this until the noise was gone.

Our time with the children can be uncomfortable sometimes. There are times when they just don’t know what to say to us. They just sit with us in silence. Most of the time, we, the adults, fill this empty space with questions. They are always the same questions. Where do you live? What do your parents do? How long have you been in the streets? Don’t you miss your family? etc. At one point, we convinced ourselves that these questions are essential in building our relationship with them. In reality, most of the children and teens with whom we have a strong relationship have never said anything about their past. Most of my good friends here do not know anything about my life in Singapore and yet this lack of information does hinder us from having a good relationship. Knowing something about someone’s past is just information. We think getting information is the same as knowing someone. It is just like thinking that living in a noisy house is living in a happy home. It is just noisy and nothing more. We ask questions to avoid the awkward silence. We are afraid of it as well. It makes feel inadequate. It makes us confront our true selves. We prefer noise. Noise helps us avoid the real issues about ourselves.

We decided to sit near the children and color in silence. I told the team that we are not going to ask questions anymore. We don’t have to interrogate anyone about their past. It is not natural. Friends don’t bombard each other with questions that probe into their past. Friends recognize the privacy of one’s personal life. We are not psychiatrists nor social workers. We don’t need to know about their past unless they want to share it with us. We have a different reason for being here. We want them to know and recognize the presence of God in their souls and around them. Our God speaks to us out of the silence. Therefore, we sat and waited in silence. As we did this, we communed with God in the innermost part of our being. We faced ourselves in the presence of God within us. It was not easy but it was not hard as well. It was different. Then Alan came and sat next to us. He was quiet and just watched us coloring. After a few minutes or so, he asked if I was choosing a certain color for the background. I told him that I wasn’t sure and then he asked how I decided on the colors. There was no answer to this question. I said that I did not know. It was fine not to know until the time comes. He understood and sat there and watched. Alan doesn’t usually speak to us. Today, he wanted to be just there and watch. He felt comfortable to sit and there and watch us. He was silent and we were silent. We were comfortable. We felt peaceful and then some of children came over and joined us and colored together in silence. It felt nice not to feel that we have to say something. It was nice to be there in the silence with each other and feel complete together even if it was for a moment.

I won’t say that words are not necessary. On the contrary, I would say that words are a gift. However, noises or empty words should not be confused with words that come forth from the silence. It is out of the silence that God spoke the life-giving words, “Let there be Light”. Then He gave us the gift of Sabbath which is a time of silent waiting to listen to the words of Life that comes from the Eternal Light that dwells in our souls.

São Paulo is a noisy city. God is teaching us to find a quiet place in the midst of this noise.

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Inspired to Learn

Give to the wise, and he is wiser still, Make known to the righteous, And he increaseth learning.-Proverbs 9:9

The three were of the same age. I did not notice this before for some reason. I had shown them a brochure about an upcoming movie festival with a free screening of classic and modern Italian directors. Lucas was interested. He is in his third year in Psychology and some of the movies being screened were discussed in his class. Victor, on the hand, never heard of any the directors or the movies. He has been focusing on seminary studies until recently taking a break from studies to decide what he wants to do. Bruno was the only one among the three who had watched some of the movies in the list. He also knew most of the directors and their works. Among them was the famous “The Bicycle Thief” by the director, Vittorio de Sica. I have never seen the movie but Bruno has. He did not like it. I asked why and he said that there was too much hype about the movie which it did not live up to. I know the story because it is a movie all movie buffs like to talk about. Frankly speaking, I never found it interesting enough to watch. Bruno related the basic plot-line to Lucas and Victor who have never even heard of this movie. It was strange to see all three of them standing next to each other discussing movies. They were the same age but all three from different social classes. Lucas comes from an upper middle class family. Victor’s family is also middle class and Bruno lives in the streets. All three have the desire to learn. Only two have family and friends to inspire and motivate them to pursue their desires. Bruno has been in the streets since he was sixteen. He has no contact with his family and he never talks about them. He is on his own when it comes to self-improvement. No family is going to stand behind in his pursuits. Yet, all these disadvantages have not stifled his desire to learn.

Bruno is always dressed the same. I mean this literally. He has been using his same polo shirt for a few months and it is torn and tattered. It is covered with so much dirt that we cannot recognize its original color. His hands and feet are covered with dirt. He carries an equally filthy blanket with him all the time. I gave him one of my polo shirts which he accepted gleefully. However, he never used it. He kept it in his bag pack which he is never seen without. In it, he keeps perhaps his most precious possession; an old tattered note book. It contains the names of all the movies he has seen or would like to see. The movies are mostly American and their names have been translated into Portuguese. However, Bruno wants to know their original names in English. He makes Mary translate the names back into English. It seems like he invented this method for learning English and we are impressed how far he has come. It is safe to say that Bruno is by far the most intelligent homeless young adult we have met. No one would guess it by looking at him. Most people would just see a homeless young man. However, when you spend some time with him, you will discover an extremely intelligent and interesting young man.

He is able to speak intelligently about movies and politics. He formulates his ideas in a logical manner and his vocabulary is very impressive. We are always amazed about the things he knows. He can tell us about Virginia Woolf and the books she has written. He likes to watch movies that most twenty year olds would find uninteresting. One of his favorite movies is Sophie’s Choice and he explained in detail the story to me. Lucas and Victor stood there and just listened. They too were astounded by his impressive knowledge. It is not just limited to movies. He could also explain the present political situation lucidly. He also able to see beyond the rhetoric and identify political maneuvers of partisan politics. When we asked him where he got his information, he told us that he reads different newspapers that are discarded at the local stores. In this way, he has access to several different news agencies.

Bruno sniffs paint thinner more than the other children or teens. He uses about half a liter a day according to him and we believe it. The only time he says that he doesn’t use it is when he is watching a movie or when he is with us. I guess the movie is a form of escape which takes away the need for chemical substance. It has been recently that he stopped sniffing in our presence. I used to have a hard time trying to get him to stop while doing an activity and he would just leave our group instead. He used to prefer paint thinner over our company. Thankfully, things have changed. We enjoy talking with him now and he always has a big smile for us whenever he sees us. The smile is always followed by a question about something he read or heard.

Bruno has never asked anything from us. Even when he was hurt, he did not ask Mary to do first aid. However, recently he asked if we could buy him a English-Portuguese dictionary. I had an old one in the house and I gave it to him. He received it happily and hugged us. This is unusual for him. We think that his filthy attire is a defense mechanism to avoid physical contact. Therefore, the embrace coming from him was a little bit more special.

Bruno is often seen with Ruan and Felipe. About a week ago, Ruan asked us if he could teach him to read and write. We were a little surprised. We had not realized that Ruan was illiterate. When I read the letter from a person in Florida, I translated it for him. Then when I asked him whether he wanted to write to this person one day, he nodded without saying anything. I remembered that his face lit up when I said that I would help him. However, I did not realize then that he did know how to read or write. Ruan comes from one of the worst neighborhoods in the center. I can’t say much about the schools in the area because I don’t know them. It would be unfair to judge the whole school based on Ruan. We know that he went to school for a few years before running away to the streets. Now he wants to learn to read and write but sending him back to the school is not going to help him. We told him that we will try to find a place where there is literacy program. He said that he was willing to start right away. Bruno was sitting next to him throughout this conversation. He said that Ruan has been asking him to teach him. Bruno does not feel confident to get him started.

Not too long after, Felipe asked us if we could help him with his writing. He said that he was not confident in writing and wanted to practice. It was the first time Felipe asked anything of this sort. All this happened in a short period of time. Suddenly three of our homeless teens are inspired to learn and study. I saw Felipe watching Mary one day as she was writing some notes for some of the children. They remarked that she had beautiful handwriting. Ruan received a letter from someone in Florida. Perhaps the idea of writing to someone contributed to this desire to learn. He also observes how much pleasure Bruno has whenever he shares the things he learns with us and is able to ask intelligently about things he does not know. All these things could have contributed to this newfound interest in learning. They have discovered a context in which learning is useful. If we told them that education would guarantee a better future, they would agree with us but they would most likely do nothing about it. They don’t think about their future much. They are not convinced that education is going guarantee a good future. However, they care about relationship. They see that our relationship with Bruno is growing because there is a deeper exchange between us and Bruno. They want to move beyond playing games and coloring books. Perhaps Bruno has shown that learning can enhance a relationship and make it richer. I believe that they are becoming more interested in learning because they want to be connected in a deeper way with us and the other people with whom they come into contact. Unfortunately, schools have reduced education into something utilitarian. Whereas Bruno wants to learn for the sole purpose of discovering new and wonderful things so that he could share them with those whom he cares for and loves. Ruan and Felipe saw this and now they desire to discover the joy of learning for the sake of learning.

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Sacrifice is not Optional

And it cometh to pass after these things that God hath tried Abraham, and saith unto him, `Abraham;’ and he saith, `Here am I.’ And He saith, `Take, I pray thee, thy son, thine only one, whom thou hast loved, even Isaac, and go for thyself unto the land of Moriah, and cause him to ascend there for a burnt-offering on one of the mountains of which I speak unto thee.’- Genesis 22:1-2

Everything was going well for Abraham. Faithful to God all his life. Successful in everything he did. Well-respected in his community. The only thing lacking to make his life complete was a heir and God surprised him with one in his advanced years. Isaac was not only his heir but he was a fulfillment of a promise that his name would never be forgotten in this world. It was the closest thing to an eternal life in Abraham’s time. God asked Abraham to sacrifice not just his son but everything he had worked for his whole life. It is a disturbing story even though we know that it has an happy outcome. The question remains; what kind of God would ask a father to sacrifice his son. Keeping also in mind that Isaac was God’s idea. Abraham did not ask for Isaac. He had consoled himself that he wasn’t going to have any heirs. He was happy when Ismael was born. However God insisted on Isaac and now Isaac was the desired sacrifice. This story has all the appearance of a cruel joke.

We read this story to children but in reality, it is a story for mature adults. It is a story that separates those who understand their faith and those who stand outside of it. Soren Kierkegaard, a famous Danish philosopher, wrote extensively on this story and he stated that this story only makes sense for those who have taken the leap of faith. For those who stand outside the realms of faith, this episode represents everything that is wrong with religion. They would say that it is a story that promotes blind faith. For those who have experienced the divine, this story is a challenge. It challenges us to take step further in our faith. This is definitely not a story for the novice.

Jesus said, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”-Luke 14:26

I have heard preachers and Christians explain away this tough saying of Jesus. They say that this was specifically meant for the apostles and it does not apply to our present reality. We have modified Jesus to be someone who would never really say anything that would cause us discomfort. However, Jesus came to reveal the same God Abraham knew. This God hasn’t changed. He makes the same demand to those who want to be his disciples including all of us. Here again, this verse should only disturb those who have experienced the transformative power of the gospel in their lives. These are the only ones interested in being his disciples. For the rest, it would be utter foolishness. How can anyone demand that we hate our own flesh and blood? They would say. Then they can even further their argument to say that Jesus also tells us to love our enemies who despise us and hate those who have cared and nurtured us. This is not only inconsistency but it is ludicrous as well. They are right if they reason according to the wisdom of this world. However, there is a new wisdom that is working in those touched by the Holy Spirit. It is the wisdom according to the Spirit. The call of disciples is an invitation to participate in a new reality.

Abraham thought his longevity and promises depended entirely on Isaac. He was right but God wanted to introduce him to a more profound wisdom. This wisdom is not attainable unless we sacrifice the things that hold us back in this world. Usually, these are things and people that we love and cherish. These are the things make our lives worth living. As wonderful and important as they might seem to us, they also have the potential to rob from us the greater spiritual wealth God has for us. This is why Jesus used a strong words such as “hate”. They have the potential to deprive us of the greatest treasure in the world. Our enemies, on the other hand, do not hold us back. Our hatred of them might keep us imprisoned spiritually but loving them releases us from captivity. Every thing that Jesus commands us to do is about freeing our souls to know a reality that is greater and richer than we can ever imagine. Therefore, there must be something liberating about sacrifice.

I grew up in close contact with peoples of other religious traditions. Sacrifices are part and parcel of their ritualistic life. I remember seeing my neighbors sacrifice a banquet to their preferred deities. These sacrifices were offered in exchange for prosperity and longevity. Sacrifices are often seen as an exchange for something. They are not just limited to liturgical practices. This is just as prevalent in the secular world. We make sacrifices in our daily lives for something better or at least what we perceive as better. However, God changed this notion with Abraham. He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and there were no promises given. In fact, Abraham already had everything he wanted in Isaac. As far as Abraham was concerned, he needed nothing else in his life. There was nothing better that God could promise to make him want to sacrifice Isaac. There was no exchange. It was just a sacrifice. Jesus made rigorous demands on those who followed him. In return he told them that they would endure hardship and persecution. They would not have a place to call home. Many of the apostles died terrible deaths. They never had a fixed place to call home except for John who was exiled to an island, not exactly an ideal place to call home. All of them got exactly what Abraham received when he sought to sacrifice the apple of his eye. None of them would receive this special gift if they had not been willing to sacrifice.

Abraham is known in scripture not as the father of Isaac but as God’s friend. Jesus revealed to us that the goal of discipleship is friendship with Him (John15:15). Friendship is voluntary and demands sacrifices. We can choose to live without friends but we cannot cultivate strong and lasting friendship if we are not willing to sacrifice time and energy. The things and people we might sacrifice for a friendship depends on how much we esteem it. Abraham valued God’s friendship above all else. The disciples valued Jesus’ friendship more than their own lives. In both cases, God did not offer His friendship to them because of their sacrifices. God had always been Abraham’s friend. Jesus was always the disciples’ friends. He laid down his life for them. Their sacrifices opened their eyes to see God for who He really is. It did not change God but it just changed them.

Abraham quietly went up the mountain to sacrifice his son. He must have thought that his God was the same as all the gods of his time. Human sacrifice was not uncommon then. He came down from the mountain with a new understanding of who God is. God did not change but Abraham’s concept of God did. Sometimes the very things we consider as special and precious can hinder us from discovering something greater and wonderful about God. It is not that God needs us to sacrifice these things but our love and affection for them might blind us from discovering God’s love. Abraham believed that Isaac was his heir who was going to make his name remembered in this world but we remember Abraham because his friendship with God.

You might be wondering what inspired me to think about this subject. It was a simple question asked by a fifteen year old, Kelvyn. It is not a Brazilian sounding name but it is the only one he has. Technically he is not a homeless teen. He is the streets all the time and he knows all our teens and children. Unfortunately, he is a drug dealer. He was born into it. His parents were in prison when he was born and this was the life he was exposed to all his life. He always was curious about us and he had a special soft spot for Mary. Recently, we had a rare occasion of spending almost a whole afternoon just talking with Kelvyn. One of the things he said struck me. He said that he hoped one day he could do what we do. He thought that it was a wonderful thing to sacrifice our time and energy to be friends with people like him. He asked what motivated us to do this. We thought about it for a while and then we said it is because of our friendship with God.

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Things Overlooked

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”-Luke 16:10

The cancer was killing her. The doctors said that it was just a question of days. I was the designated son to spend the night at her bedside. As the painkillers wore off, she opened her eyes and looked at me intently. Then she asked if I remembered the days when she would wait with me at the school bus stop. She smiled before I could give her an answer and then went back to sleep. She passed away a few days later. This was almost twenty five years ago. Her last thoughts were on what we would consider the most mundane things of being a mother. She waited with me for the school bus everyday when I was a little lad. I am not sure if she ever thought then that this would be one of her final memories before her passing.

I was taught in seminary that we should do the small things first in parish life. The small things were visiting the members in their homes, hospital visitation, funerals and weddings. If we would do these things, then we are paying the “rent” to our respective church. Then we could be free to do greater things. We divide our lives between mundane things and great achievements. This is not something peculiar in religious circles. It is the way the world functions. It is not enough to be just a mother. We have to show to the world that our children are future Einsteins. It is not enough to just play the guitar, we have to strive to be the best. It seems like nothing has value in itself unless it is aiming for a higher goal. If we are great, then we are successful. This may not be bad but it is not necessarily good either. In our obsession for the so-called great things of life, we might overlook things that really matter. These are things that we remember and cherish when everything is said and done.

It had been a while since we saw Isabela. We met her in the streets about a year ago. She was unusually reserved for a homeless teen. Most of the teens and children are usually open to any adult attention but not Isabela. She stood and watched us from afar for a week or so before approaching us. The first thing she asked for was a blank piece of paper. She wanted to draw. She sat next to us and drew quietly. She never said a word to us but she wanted to be near us. The next day she shared a little bit more about herself. Her story is not different from the other teenage girls. She was placed in a state orphanage where she spent most of her teenage years. She ran away to the streets before she turned eighteen because they were going to send her back to her home. Isabela is a very private and she did not elaborate on the circumstances that placed her in the orphanage. We are realizing that it is not necessary for us to know everything about their past. There is nothing we can do to change it. God has placed this young girl in our lives in the here and now. We don’t need to probe into her past to know her. We can spend time with her and allow her to share whatever she wants. We saw Isabela almost everyday for a week or so and then she decided to move to another area. It was outside the area where we worked.

The children are nomadic, moving around several areas in the city before returning to the center where we work. Occasionally we venture out to these areas to look for them. By chance, we saw Isabela again after about six months. We went for a walk and we ran into her. She was genuinely happy to see us and gave us a hug. Then among the wide array of subjects she spoke about, she mentioned something curious. She asked Mary if she remembered doing her nails for her. This was one of her fondest memories of our short time together. I had bought her a nice book and we did other things with her but she remembers something as mundane as painting her nails with Mary. I am not offended that she did not remember the book which took us a while to find. I thought that it was a big thing. I even wrote about it in one of my blog posts last year. However, her fondest memory was doing nails with Mary. She does not remember the book. It was one time event. Mary did her nails frequently. She did it because she wanted something to do with the girls. Sometimes things we think of as mundane are the very things that have an eternal impact in our lives. Perhaps the eternal shines through mundane things and not in great and grandiose events.

I would never write anything about playing a game of checkers with the children. It would seem boring. Nothing usually happens in these games. I have also overlooked the fact that everyday when I see the children in the streets, the first thing they want to know is if I had brought checkers with me. They lose all the time and they know when I let them win and they get upset. For them, it is not a question of winning or losing. They want to play checkers with me. They want Mary to do their nails. Even the boys ask her to file their nails. Everyday they want us to do the most mundane things with them. We do these in hopes of achieving something greater. Perhaps, we are missing out on the great things by overlooking these so-called mundane activities.

Before we left Isabela that day, she reminded us of her birthday. I wrote it down so that I wouldn’t forget it. We thought about getting a her small cake, but decided to get a small kit of manicure products. On the day itself, Isabela was happy to see us. She received the gift happily but she said that she did not really want us to give her anything. She just wanted to see us on her birthday. She wanted to be remembered. She asked if we brought some paper. We sat down and drew together for two hours. This is how she wanted to spend her birthday; doing something simple but at the same time doing it with people she knows who care for her. This is why mundane things are important.

We want to achieve great things for our ego but we do mundane things because of love.

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Let us Linger at the Foot of Cross

When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.-John 19:30

Its Friday…. but Sunday’s coming. However, it was the longest Friday for the first disciples. They lingered at the foot of the Cross for a while. We don’t need to rush to Easter. Good Friday is an invitation for us to linger at foot of the Cross. It is our opportunity to attend to the invitation of our Lord.

My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me. -Matthew 26:38

The foot of the Cross is our place until Easter comes. Our thoughts should be directed to the Man who hung on the Cross on this day. His death makes a difference in how we perceive ourselves and the world.

Many people tried to tarry with him in his final moments but they failed. Some were absent at the foot of the Cross. Some felt that they failed him. Some benefitted from His death. Some couldn’t care less. All these attitudes are still with us today.

There was Judas. He wanted to do something for Jesus and himself. His betrayal wasn’t about the thirty pieces of silver. Many speculate about his motivations. Some think that he wanted to speed things along for Jesus’ kingdom. The outcome was not what he expected. He wanted Jesus to react, perhaps violently against the authorities but Jesus just remained silent. He did not understand that this world was not His kingdom. Judas wanted to see some concrete results but he only saw what he perceived as a failure. Things did not turn out according to his expectations. He could not manipulate the King to act in tandem with his desires. His desires led him to his demise. If he had lingered at the foot of the Cross, maybe he could have learned something different or maybe not. We will never know. He did not linger around for the Cross.

Then we have Pontius Pilate. It was a strange choice for the gospels to portray this man as being sympathetic to Jesus. He was a brutal governor. He was not known for his clemency. Despite his despotic tendencies, he was not able to convince the crowd to do the right thing. It just reveals how impotent tyrants are when it comes to doing what is right. They can only do things that are detrimental to themselves and those around them. The evangelists did not make Pilate out to be a good man. They revealed his true nature. He was a weak ruler. He washed his hands of all responsibilities. He did not want anything do to with the Cross.

Barabbas benefitted the most from Jesus’ passion. He escaped a certain death. We don’t hear anything about him after this. He must have been grateful to the religious authorities who manipulated the crowds to save his life instead of Jesus. It did not seem to bother him that an innocent man died instead of him. He never sought Jesus or his disciples. He never bothered to linger at the foot of the Cross. He was most likely afraid. This is understandable but he still could have sought out the disciples later. Maybe he did but we will never know.

The good thief had nothing to gain. He did not choose to be at the Cross. However, he did choose to acknowledge Jesus’ lordship even on the Cross. He knew that there were no more possibilities for him. It is doubtful that he even understood the words of Jesus when He said, “Verily I say unto thee, today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”(Luke 23:43) However, it did not matter. They were spoken to him by a Man whom he recognized as different and special. The only thing he could cling to at that moment was the words of this wonderful Man who shared his pain and death.

The centurion saw everything and was became frightened. He realized that this was not a regular execution. It was something that would change the way we understood our existence. He watched everything from the foot of the Cross and he proclaimed the only thing he could say, “Truly this was the Son of God!”(Matthew 27:54)

Finally, we come to the women and the disciples. The women and John were at the foot of the cross. The disciples observed from a distance. They watched the only person who made their lives real and wonderful expire on the Cross. They stayed and watched every moment of it. The disciples wished that they could have been closer. None of them ever wanted to be apart from Him. They lingered in spirit with the women at the foot of the Cross. They saw what the centurion saw and experienced with one major difference. They wanted to be there. They wanted to be there with Him and partake in His sufferings. For those who lingered at the Cross, the message of Easter meant a new beginning. It wasn’t just a happy ending to an otherwise tragic tale. It marked the Beginning of understanding life and death.

We tend to rush to Easter. Apart from the Catholic and Anglican churches, most evangelical churches don’t observe Good Friday but they have a celebration for Easter. Easter without Good Friday produces an inadequate theology. The Cross is something even our children in the streets can identify. I brought an illustrated Bible to the streets once and one of the boys turned to the page on the crucifixion and asked Mary to read to him. He wasn’t interested in Easter. It is too foreign to him. The Cross is something that resonates with him. It is the moment that most human beings can identify. It was a moment of despair and hopelessness. Jesus never avoided it. The disciples were forced to confront it. The women stood and wept at the presence of it. The miracle of Easter is only powerful when we are willing to linger at the foot of the Cross and face the greatest fear of humanity. Jesus faced it without any protest or attempts of self-defense. He faced it in order to reveal a greater power hidden within the message of the Cross. Those who lingered at the foot of the Cross discovered this power. We need to linger there to discover the more profound meaning of Easter.

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A Letter from Florida

Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.-Matthew 18:5

I have been carrying a letter in my bag for the past couple of days. It was sent about two months ago. We have been waiting for the right moment to share its contents with Ruan. There are several reasons for the delay. Our month of absence meant that we needed to reacquaint ourselves with the children. The children have a unique way of perceiving prolonged absence. Living in the streets changes the way they sense the passing of time. Everyday is the same for them. There are no holidays or weekends. They build relationships with people based on familiarity. The more they see someone, the stronger they bond they forge with the person. Familiar faces become their sense of security. We are part of this secure environment. However, our absence disturbed this fragile construction and they eventually begin to think that we are not part of their social fabric. As a means of self-preservation, they get accustomed to our absence and move on with life. Our return requires them to make readjustments once more. There is not much resistance to this but it still takes time. To help this process, we keep doing the old activities we did with them to assure them that nothing has changed. It was crucial that nothing radically new is introduced at this time. This is why I have kept this letter all this time. This letter as simple as it is is going to introduce new dimension into our relationship. It is important that it is presented at the right time.

Ruan was nowhere to be found. However, we did find the others and we went to the courtyard nearby and sat there and just talked. We have been having more moments like this for which we are immensely grateful. Then, out of nowhere, Ruan appeared. He wanted to be included in our activities immediately and it did not matter what we were doing as long as he could be part of it. Most of us have grown accustomed to Ruan’s childish demands and everyone just laughed and told him to wait like the rest. He did not mind. He just wanted to announce his presence. He then proceeded to take a bottle of paint thinner and started to sniff it. We told him not to do its because we wanted him to have a clear mind when he is with us. To our pleasant surprise, he put it away and sat down with us. This was the first time he has done this.

Mary was playing a game of checkers with one of the boys. Ruan wanted to play the next game with her. I took this opportunity to take him aside. I told him that I had something for him but there was need for some explanation. Ruan knows that we are from the church but he never asks too many questions about us. Recently, he has been more open about his feelings towards us. He does not hide the fact that he likes being with us. Last week for instance, he spent a few hours with us even though he was itching to go out and beg for a snack. However, he knew that once he left us he would get too distracted to return. He stayed until his hunger pangs got the better of him and then he took off, promising that he would try to return. He never did. It doesn’t matter. It was good enough for us to know that he wanted to spend as much time with us as possible.

I shared about the churches in the States and the people who are praying for him, not only him but for the others as well. It was the first time I shared this with any child. Not because they would disapprove but we wanted them to understand that the prayer was a first step towards relationship building. Ruan wouldn’t have understood what I was saying several months ago. Our relationship with him has opened the doors for him to have relationships with others in the church. The letter, I continued, is a fruit of this prayer. It was written by a grandmother in Florida. To be precise, it was a Christmas card but it didn’t matter to Ruan. He has never written or received a Christmas card in his life. I asked Ruan if he wanted me to translate the letter. He nodded in approval. I could see in his face that he was processing everything that I have just said. The author of letter shared how she received his name and what prompted to pray for him specifically. She made it plain and simple that it was the Holy Spirit. The Spirit stirred her heart to her connect with him. In closing, she asked if she could pray for Ruan as if he was her grandson. Ruan listened intently to what was written. I asked what he thought about this grandmother praying for him like a grandson. He became a little timid at this point and nodded his head to say, “yes”. I take it that it meant ‘yes’ that he wanted her to pray for him in this way. It was a short letter and it said everything that was needed to be said. I kept the card in its envelope and asked him what I should do with it. He wanted me to keep it for him because it would be safer. However, he stressed that he wanted it back one day so that he could keep it safely in his house. Ruan usually goes home for a few weeks a year. Even though he hardly stays at home, it was a symbolic way of saying that this letter is going to be one of his treasures. Then he asked where was this person living. When he heard the words, “Florida”, it dawned upon him that this letter came from thousands of miles away. His face lit up and immediately he transformed before my eyes from Ruan the street kid to Ruan the little boy. His eyes widened and there was huge smile on his face and he said, “You mean someone all the way from Florida wrote to me!” I guess that when I told him about churches in the States were praying for him, it did not register. They sounded abstract but the letter was something real and concrete. It showed the reality of the connection between him and Florida.

I asked him if he would like to write a letter to her. He said, ‘yes’. However, it wasn’t a convincing affirmative. Then I realized that Ruan comes for generation that perhaps has no clear understanding what is a letter. I haven’t received a written letter ever since e-mail came into the picture. Ruan never lived in a time where there was no internet. I rephrased my question. I asked him if he would like to say something to her some time. He smiled and nodded his head. I told him that I would help him. Ruan was visibly happy and he stayed longer than usual with us this day. We were playing a game when a man in a wheelchair passed us by. Ruan then told us that his step-father was a paraplegic as well. I already knew this from another source but this was the first time I heard it from Ruan himself.

I was initially planning to write a post about doing ministry beyond the idea of success and failure. Then I read the letter to Ruan. I think that this interaction with him would better describe why any Christian ministry cannot be defined on success and failure. These standards are imported into the Christian ethos from the world. They look at temporal results. The gospel deals with eternity. Our goal is help the children be conscious of an eternal reality. A simple letter opened up Ruan’s world, but not just his world, but also the world of it’s author. A grandmother who perhaps will never meet Ruan in this reality has gained a grandchild for eternity. The world does not possess the vocabulary to express the beauty of this reality. It cannot define it in its narrow view of success and failure. It goes beyond what is imaginable in this world. The gospel does things like that.

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