Author: fr.stephendass@gmail.com

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English Lessons with Igor

I must admit that sometimes my posts seem to be a little erratic. I share about our interactions with some particular child or teenager and then the following weeks there is hardly any news about them.

I do not mean to be erratic. However, this is the nature of the work. Some days we have meaningful interactions with a particular child and then he or she just disappears, not literally of course. The center covers a wide geographic area. The children and teens do not usually stay at one place. They do sleep at the same place every night but they like to wander during the day. The young ones think that life is an adventure. They go from place to place seeking food and frequently causing some mischief along the way; nothing really sinister. They just want to see how much they can get away with in the streets. The older teens don’t like to be in open spaces during the day. They are susceptible to police’s scrutiny. They feel safer if they move around to avoid any suspicion. We have to wander around as well in order to find them and when we do, they are usually high from sniffing paint thinner or another form of drugs. We have to wait for the right moment to speak with them. Usually we get this chance perhaps with at least one child or teen almost everyday but not always with the same child or teen. This is why there is not always a follow-up story in my posts. However, this time I am going to do something different. Something new is happening. We are excited but at the same time we are cautious. We don’t want our excitement to rush things or create unrealistic expectations. We are excited about a young man named Igor. I want to share his story but it is impossible to do so in one post. It is a story of a relationship that has been slowly developing over the past year. It is not just Igor’s story but it is also our story.

I mentioned Igor before. Actually I have mentioned several Igors. It was a popular name in São Paulo twenty years ago. Consequently, there are several different Igors about the same age in the streets. This particular one came to the streets when he was 8 years old. It was the tragic death of his mother that drove to the streets. She was killed over a trivial argument and the life of her son was changed forever. Igor’s father had died in prison a few years before and he was all alone in this world. His aunt took him in out of obligation and Igor sensed this strongly. As an eight year old child, he made a decision which no child of this age should ever make in an ideal world. However, he did not live in an ideal world and he ended up in the streets. Crime and drugs are part of the street life so is incarceration and Igor experienced all of these. By the time he was eighteen, he had been incarcerated fifteen times. He told us that he never cared for anything or anybody. He would leave the detention center and go back to the streets to rob. He did not believe that life had anything to offer him. Then he fell in love with another homeless teen, Ana Paula. She is four years older than him with a similar background. The two orphans found solace in each other. It did not take long before Ana Paula was pregnant and Igor was incarcerated for the last time as a minor during her pregnancy. Igor told us that it was the first time he seriously thought about changing his life. This time when he left the detention center, he was determined not to return.

When we first met Igor, we did not know much about him. Only thing we knew was that he was interested in languages. He had memorized some French phrases just from hearing some Africans speaking to each other. He told us that he always wanted to speak in English and French. We asked him if he was interested in learning English. He said that he was willing to learn anything if he was given the chance. This was the beginning of a series of English lessons with Igor.

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Grace Beyond our Neighborhood

“Why should we spend time and money helping the street children who have nothing to do with my church’s ministry and neighborhood?”

Only someone like Silas would dare to ask this question and it was one of the reasons why I liked him. I used to walk home with Silas from the seminary. We were both studying at the Presbyterian Seminary in São Paulo. His church was in the northern part of the city which is not too far away from the center. Yet, he was totally unaware of the reality of the homeless children and teens living there. They were just forty-five minutes away from his neighborhood. However he wasn’t convinced that it was necessary for his church to be burdened with this problem. It was forty-five minutes away from his reality.

I haven’t seen Silas for fifteen years. I lost contact with him. Some told me that he is a pastor of a church now. Most likely he has forgotten about me or at least this conversation. I haven’t been able to forget his question ever since. Mainly because I could not answer him immediately. I was unprepared for it. I have always assumed that every Christian saw the necessity of reaching out to these neglected and forgotten children. Silas proved me wrong. It is not that he was a cold hearted man. To the contrary, he was a compassionate man who was involved in the social programs of his church. Above all, he was a sincere and dedicated Christian. This is why I haven’t forgotten his question. I came to realize that it is a relevant question and deserves a well thought out answer. Many good Christians might be wondering the same thing but are afraid expressing their thoughts would make them seem callous.

Moreover the law entered, that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound-Romans 5:20

This was St.Paul’s motivation to step out of his familiar circles to preach the gospel. He was a Pharisee and a prominent Jewish leader. In his time, he would have been a very effective apostle to the Jewish community. After all, no one understood the observances and intricacies of the Jewish religion of his time than a Pharisee like him. However, he chose to go to the Gentiles. His reason for this is; “where sin abounded, grace did much more abound”.

It is important for us to know that missionary work or rather, the work of the gospel is not social work. Social work is limited within geographical boundaries and each society must fulfill its obligation in resolving its own social problems. However, the vocation of the church has little to do with social work. We address conditions which social work avoids. This is because we bring something which sets us apart from all social programs. We bring the message of grace. It is all about grace. Although, we cannot address grace if we do not address “sin”. Grace overcomes sin and if we are not clear about what we are overcoming, then we won’t be confident about the healing power of grace.

We usually think about “sin” in the narrow sense. We think about it in terms of specific acts. It is understandable why we would be embarrassed to talk about sin in this sense. We feel like prigs who are poking our noses into other people’s intimate lives. However, ‘sin’ is broader than mere acts. When we walk down the streets of São Paulo, we see lonely and abandoned people and children. We see children without any family support or maybe they don’t even know what it means to have a family. We see people trying to kill themselves slowly with drugs because they feel that life is not worth living. We see people who are completely isolated and forgotten even though they live in the seventh largest city in the world. I am not just talking about the homeless or the poor. I am talking about regular people in their busy lives, going to work and rushing home to limited time with other family members who are subjected to the same pressures and loneliness. They hide their loneliness and isolation and hopelessness behind material things. However, they cannot hide it from themselves. This loneliness and isolation is present is the state of sin that grace seeks to overcome. It is the universal state of humans. The homeless and poor cannot afford the façade of the other people. Their lives display this sinful state for everyone to see. Unknowingly they exposed the fragility and failure of our human efforts to overcome our sense of emptiness. This is perhaps why most people do not want to see them. They are afraid that they might see themselves in the homeless. It is better to forget they exist than to see the reality of our souls in them. We cannot face this reality unless our hearts and minds are consumed by the power of grace. Grace not only gives the courage and wisdom to testify to its power over bleakness and desperation, it compels us to seek and share its goodness to those who are lost.

We work in the streets knowing that the social programs cannot bring the healing that these children and teens are seeking. Social programs cannot overcome this sense of abandonment and loneliness in their souls. We don’t have a magic formula to heal this emptiness but we can testify about what is real to us. We can testify to the healing presence of grace. This grace has brought peace to our hearts and given us a sense of belonging, not in a subjective manner but in a holistic way. It gives a sense of belonging that changes our practical lives, not the kind of belonging one feels to a church or some religious group. It has given us a sense of belonging to the One whom we call our Father. It is because He is our Father, we are called to share His grace to those who are lost and abandoned in this world because He is their Father as well. This is why we should care about people beyond our neighborhood, borders and cultures.

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Compassion and the Victim Mentality

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich. Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature. So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way. When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, “Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” And he hurried and came down and received Him gladly. (Luke 19:1-6)

A seemingly peaceful day was disrupted by five or six police with their guns out of their holsters chasing and yelling after a teenager. There was a lone civilian among the police and it was obvious that he was the victim of the crime. For a moment all of us were disoriented with yelling and guns waving around in the air. Mary (my wife) warned the children that were with us to stay down, just in case someone’s gun were to go off by chance. Everyone heard Mary’s voice but no one paid attention to it, including me. We were just stood there paralyzed by adrenaline. The pursued teenager was trying to dodge the police by running between two parked cars. He almost looked like he was playing catch with them. It would have been comical if it wasn’t for the presence of the guns. Finally, the teenager turned into a narrow street which was his doom. He was surrounded. It didn’t take long for the police to subdue him and he did not resist. We were relieved that it was over. The children were strangely calm but our hearts were beating fast. Perhaps they were accustomed to such a scene. We were curious about the teenager. He was homeless like them but no one could recognize him from where we were standing.

The police made the teenager sit on the ground while they waited for the patrol car. Mary and I pretended that we needed to walk pass the scene just to catch a glimpse of the teenager. I admit we are curious creatures. Unfortunately he was someone we knew. His name is Raphael and he had just turned eighteen. He is a loner and doesn’t interact with the other children and teens. We have seen him several times in our neighborhood sitting outside a convenience store begging for money. Sometimes he would smile at us but most of the time he would just ignore us. We never knew him to steal or rob but maybe today he saw an opportunity to do it and took a risk. Anything is possible. There is strong chance that Raphael is going to prison. He most likely will spend a few months in the overcrowded prisons of São Paulo. He was crying as we passed him. I think he saw us as we passed him. There was nothing we could do for him.

I don’t believe that many people felt sorry for him. I am sure that the victim of his crime was feeling vindicated at this moment. Raphael looked defeated and devastated. It is easy to forget that Raphael is not the victim. However, this does not mean he doesn’t deserve our compassion. It also doesn’t mean that we should overlook what he has done. He is a criminal and he deserves our compassion. I think this is the hardest thing for us as human beings to do. This is really the tough part of the gospel. The Pharisees had a hard time with Jesus because He showed compassion to people who really did not deserve it. The Pharisees were not upset when Jesus healed the blind and the lame. They were upset when he ate with sinners. They were upset when he accepted them as his friends. They were upset when He showed compassion to those who did not deserve it.

Many times I have seen pictures of homeless children in brochures that show them in dirty clothes and sometimes they are curled in pain from hunger. The picture conveys the idea that these poor children are victims and because they are victims, they deserve our compassion. When we think of victims, we think of people who are deprived of their basic necessities. However, our homeless children eat leftover food from restaurants and usually these are good restaurants. At night several groups come by with food and hot soup for the homeless. A teenager once told me that they never lack food and clothing, in fact, she was giving away some of her clothes because she had too much. She slept on dirty mattress in the streets but she had a suitcase full of clothes. If I made a brochure of our homeless children eating food from restaurants and having suitcases of clothes, I doubt people will be moved to help. People don’t feel pity for people who are not victims.

Of all the people in Jericho, Jesus chose to dine in Zaccheus’ house. Without a doubt, there were more deserving people than him that would have been honored to have Jesus in their home. Perhaps some of them could have been victims of Zaccheus’ unscrupulous dealings. However, Jesus decided to show compassion to Zaccheus even though among all the people there, he was deserved it the least.

Zaccheus thought he had created his personal heaven until he met Jesus. The compassion of Jesus revealed the true state of his desperate existence. It woke Zaccheus out of his slumber of self-deception. This is what compassion does. It forces people to wake up from their self-deception. There is such thing as false compassion. False compassion makes and maintains people as victims. For me, another name for false compassion is pity. I think many times we confuse “pity” for compassion. Our feeling of pity comes from a sense of guilt but compassion is a decision we make to love those who do not deserve our love.

None of our homeless children and teens would consider themselves as victims. We should not make them victims. They never made excuses for their actions and we should not invent excuses to invoke pity in others. We don’t want anyone to help these children because of pity. Pity gets us nowhere. Compassion liberates lives. Some people believe that these children are victims of society’s ills. I am not sure if we can change society but I believe a genuine experience of God’s compassion can help us to be liberated from self-deception. This is not to say the children are solely responsible for their state of homelessness. However, turning them into victims is not going to change their state. Compassion can, as in the story of Zaccheus. Change for the better is our goal.

Everyone needs to experience the compassion of God to truly see who we are. Zaccheus went up the tree to see Jesus and he discover his true state that day. He realized the wealth and power he had acquired were just deceptions. The compassion he experienced through Jesus gave him the courage the face reality. Zaccheus would have something concrete to say to our children. Only those who allow the compassion of God to transform their lives have anything concrete to say in this world of self-deception. Only those who have experienced the compassion of God can love compassionately those who do not deserve it.

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Opening up our Minds

Then said I, “Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.”
Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar and he laid it upon my mouth, and said, “Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.”- Isaiah 6:5-7

“You have the most beautiful blue eyes! What is your surname?” asked an elegantly dressed elderly man who was perhaps once a teacher or maybe even a lawyer. He looked liked an interesting person whom you would engage in a conversation just for the sake of it. However, the timing wasn’t the best. We were sitting on the ground in a square playing a game of Uno with Nayara, a homeless teenage girl. Our attention was focused on her but his comments were only directed to the person with blue eyes. They belonged to our volunteer from Holland. The rest of us felt a little awkward and smiled politely and tried to continue the game. However, we weren’t quite successful. The elderly man was persistent. He wanted to know everything about our friend and her ancestry. Then he noticed Mary’s light colored eyes and became curious about Mary. He continued to ask a series of questions directed to Mary. The young teenage girl in our midst was totally ignored. Nayara is sixteen years old. She is a pretty girl but her eyes are brown. Not for a moment, her presence was acknowledged. Neither was mine for the matter, but the topic of conversation was beautiful women and I am automatically disqualified as a subject matter. Nayara emotionally retreated from our group and eventually she told us that she was going to quit the game and left.

Nayara comes from a poor family and at a young age her mother had to give up her to an orphanage. She spent most of her life moving from one orphanage to another. Finally, she ran away and ended up the streets. This particular day she was feeling a little depressed because she was rejected by her boyfriend who is also homeless. Perhaps today of all the days, she wanted to know that she was still beautiful, but unfortunately in the conversation about physical beauty, she was the only woman who was ignored.

The elderly man was not deliberately ignoring Nayara. She just did not perk his curiosity. He is accustomed to homeless teens. He could not see her beauty because he could see past her homelessness. For him, the European woman playing a game of cards in the streets was more interesting and he could appreciate her beauty. She had all the features that this culture considers beautiful. This man could only see beauty defined along cultural lines. We are no different from him. We are conditioned by the standards of beauty of our culture as well. This made me question myself. Am I able to see beauty in the children and teens whom we minister or do I just see them as homeless children? They are beautiful as well. However, our culture has conditioned us to see beauty only in those who are dressed and act in certain way.

In the above biblical text, Isaiah came face-to face with the presence of God. He saw God’s glory and beauty in its plenitude and he realized that his cultural conditioning had limited his understanding of true beauty. The angel purified the prophet’s mind with holy fire so that his mind could be open to perceive God’s glory and beauty even in the darkest moments of Israel’s history.

Neoplatonic teachings on love and beauty argue that whenever we see and appreciate anything beautiful, we are actually seeing the presence of God in the person or object. It is an idea that is compatible with the Bible since we believe that God is the creator of all things and beauty helps us see God in his created artwork. It is not enough for us to just serve the forgotten ones in society. We must go beyond our cultural conditioning and see beauty in those whom we serve. This is important because the truth of the matter is that we can only value things which are beautiful to us. We cannot see the true value of a person unless we can see their true beauty. This cannot be a culturally conditioned idea of beauty which is superficial and ephemeral. It has to be beauty that draws us closer to the eternal reality of God. It is a beauty which opens our hearts and minds to see the image of God imprinted in the soul of the person.

The old man has unintentionally challenged me. He made me question whether I could see the eternal beauty of God in these children and teens. I have to confess, it is not easy. I can see their faults and perhaps the unpleasant areas of their lives more clearly. I realized that I am indeed a man of unclean lips and I need an angel to bring a coal from God’s holy fire to purify my mind. My mind needs to see the beauty of God present in these children and teens. It is this beauty that is going to help me to truly value and treasure them as God treasures them.

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Tragic Tales of Three Mothers

We saw Alan, 12 years, carrying a small plastic bag with a yellowish substance in it. It was something we haven’t seen for a long time. It was cobbler’s glue. The children used to sniff it a long time ago and now it is back in the streets. Someone was selling it to the children and Alan was the distributor. Most likely, he does not get paid much for his work, maybe protection and a few dollars. It was enough for Alan. He makes him feel like a tough guy and a gangster. We were wondering who was the adult behind this operation and then we saw a tall woman in her late thirties dressed very conservatively in the way that many of the traditional Pentecostal church women do here in Brazil. It made her look awkward in the midst of the children and teens. She was involved in a heated argument and a small crowd of homeless people gathered around her. The commotion did not last long and once it calmed down we noticed that this woman looked a lot like Bruno. Bruno is one of the boys we have been visiting in the Juvenile Reform Center. He has made some positive progress with us and recently he was released to his family. We tried to get in touch with him but his mother who always answered the phone said that he was at his relatives whose contact number she did not have. Right now she was in front of us in flesh and blood. His mother was the one selling the glue to the children. Our main concern was Bruno at this moment so we asked her about him. His mother recognized me from twenty years ago. She had spent all her childhood homeless in the streets. I remembered her from twenty years ago. She was nineteen then.

We found her behavior to be strange when we spoke to her about her son. She did not appear to be the least interested in her son. She appeared like a empty shell of a person. She told us that her son was with her mother but she did not know the physical address of her mother’s house. We told her that we wanted to visit her son. He asked for our help to get enrolled in an art classes. Nothing appeared to interest her. She was not rude but she just appeared empty of any human emotions. Our encounter with her helped us understand Bruno better. He always appeared subdued and quiet. This woman was his mother and she grown up in the streets. She was not a bad person. She just passed onto to him what she had received. Unfortunately she did not receive much.

On the same night, Eric, 9 years old, was playing with some of the children in the streets when his mother showed up and asked him to go home. His mother looked thin and haggard. We are not sure but we suspect that she is homeless or living as a squatter in one of the abandoned buildings. She could even be a drug addict. However, she did not want her son to be near the children that were sniffing glue and using other drugs. Unfortunately I saw Eric sniff paint thinner before his mother came. He refused to leave with her and started getting aggressive with her. The poor mother appeared helpless in trying to get her son out of the environment. All the other teens and children felt sorry for her. They tried to help the mother by trying to convince Eric to go with her. For many of them, they never had their mothers concerned for them like her. Unfortunately Eric threw himself onto the filthy floor and refused to move and his mother just sat there next to him without knowing what to do. It was quite a difficult scene to witness.

João Vitor is only 11 but he acts and talks like he is 18. He is relatively new to the streets and he got involved in the drug trafficking as soon as he arrived. Unfortunately, João Vitor is a hardened criminal even at such a young age. His mother wanted to see him and she got in touch with us. She was a single mother. She has four children and João Vitor is the youngest. Her husband died at a young age and she was married to another man who adopted the children as his own. However, the marriage did not last and now she is back on her own. She has to wake up very early in the morning to work and travel a couple of hours to work. The children are left on their own all day. The only housing she could afford to rent with her salary was in the outskirts of the city and her neighborhood is a hotspot for drug trafficking. Only her youngest chose this path and she does not know what to do with him. Her life has gone from bad to worse and João does not seem to care. We met this woman at the subway station to take her to her son. On the way she shared her burdens with us. We just listened. There was so little one could do to help this mother. When João saw her mother, he ran up to her and gave her a hug and kiss. He acted like his age. However, she was not too enthusiastic about seeing her son. She looked tired and disappointed at what her son had become.

These three mothers we have met this week. We know them superficially but enough to know that they are working with the resources that they have. João Vitor is the one who has the best mother of the three. Yet, he is the worst situation of the three boys. Reality does not come ready with the answers. There is no easy formula. None of them are hopeless cases. We don’t have the answers for these mothers and not all of them are looking for answers. We have a strong conviction that the power of the gospel can bring Light in the lives of these mothers and sons. Our conviction can only mean something when we are willing to encounter the tragic realities of these mothers and sons and still say, “Yes! The Gospel can transform these tragic realities.” This is our hope.

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Giving Evil Spirits Some Space

And when He had come out of the boat, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no one could bind him, not even with chains, because he had often been bound with shackles and chains. And the chains had been pulled apart by him, and the shackles broken in pieces; neither could anyone tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying out and cutting himself with stones.- Mark 5:2-5

Every Friday we set aside a period in the afternoon to study the gospel of Mark together and its application to our ministry in the streets. Our last reading was on the above text. The story is a strange and detailed event of a demon possession and exorcism. Modern Christians have differing views on evil spirits and demonic possessions. Some might believe that the demon-possessed people in the gospel narratives were actually mentally-ill people and others might believe that there are real evil spirits who possess people. The differences of opinion are on how evil manifests itself but we all agree that the forces that isolate and destroy an individual are evil and must be removed. In other words, all forces that contribute to the self-destruction of any human being can be considered as evil spirits. In our work, we encounter evil spirits on a daily basis.

The possessed individual in the gospel was marginalized emotionally and spiritually from his community. His isolation was imposed by the community, as well as by his personal actions of violence. In isolation, he was destroying the only thing left for him to destroy, which was his own body. The gospel tells us that he cut himself with rocks. He was on the path to death. Henceforth, the cemetery was the only suitable place to keep him; away from society and abandoned to his own self-destructive habits. No one cared, perhaps no one knew how to care for him, except for Jesus. He went looking for this man. Jesus did not need to be there. There were no Jewish people there because they kept swine in this place. The only reason Jesus was there was because of this abandoned demon possessed maniac.

This story resonated with us. Our children and teens are like the demon possessed man. Society sees them as lost causes and they don’t see any hope in them. People are generally afraid of them and the children don’t make it any easier. They further contribute to their personal isolation and marginalization by their aggressive attitudes. They react against the rejection they sense. The old center of São Paulo is the metaphorical cemetery of this city. We are surrounded by old abandoned buildings left to decay. No important businesses are found here. Money is invested elsewhere in the city while the old center is left to die a slow death. However, this is the place where the children and teens find solace and refuge in drugs and other self-destructive habits…

The thing that stood out for us in this gospel narrative was the idea of space. The evil spirits needed available space to strive. They pleaded with Jesus not to send them away from the region because there was still space for them there. They asked to be sent to the herd of swine. Initially, I always found this part a little confusing and disturbing. Why did the poor pigs have to suffer? They were innocent animals. However, I believe that there is deeper significance to this story. In the Bible, pigs are unclean, ritually unclean. When we take into consideration this symbolic meaning of the pigs, then we are able to see that this story was a criticism of the society as well. There was an unclean presence in the society which still provided room for the evil spirits to strive. This unclean presence is not a mystery as it was clearly revealed in the general attitude of the people. They were more concerned about their financial loss than about the person of Jesus. They did not care if Jesus overcame an apparently violent and dangerous man. They did not care if this man was cured. They just cared about their financial loss. They valued things over people. In doing so, they created room for evil and destructive spirits to dwell in their city.

Destructive evil spirits need space to function.

We just experienced a sad incident a couple days ago. One of the boys with whom we have had a longstanding relationship suddenly turned aggressive and violent towards us. His name is João. He has been in the streets since he was ten years old. He was one of the first boys whom we met when we returned to this work. He was always a docile boy and never without a smile. However, last week, while we were helping a older teen get some legal help, João started attacking us for no apparent reason. We were a little taken aback at first and thought that he was joking. Unfortunately it was not a joke. We think that it was due to jealousy. João did not want this other teenager to receive any help. The situation got out of hand and caused a small crowd of onlookers to gather. We managed to get away from João’s aggressive behavior. Unfortunately, his attitude did not change the next day. He continued to fluctuate from the old João to this new raging maniac. Finally, we had to take a stand and cut all ties with João until he learns to respect us once again. It was particularly hard for our team leader who has worked with João for almost five years.

What made João change? Well, it wasn’t just the case of the “the devil made me do it”. Even though he never engaged in any criminal activities, he constantly sniffed paint thinner. His self destructive behavior provided the space for further isolation and destructive behavior. There was room for evil spirits to dwell in him and he couldn’t handle the fact that someone else in his situation was getting help. Evil spirits or destructive behaviors don’t just happen. We give them space to strive. One self destructive behavior opens the door to another and it becomes a downward spiral to complete isolation and despair.

Where is the gospel in this situation? We hope that it lies in the discipline that we have imposed on João. He needs a wake up call. He needs to see that he needs help to evacuate these evil spirits in his life. We have not rejected João. We have rejected the spirit which is destroying his soul. How do we proceed from here? Well, when the people in the gospel narrative rejected Jesus, Jesus left the man whom He healed to be His witness. We are the witnesses in this situation. Jesus redeemed us from our self destructiveness and now we can testify that His grace is able to do the same for João. We will patiently wait for João just like Jesus patiently waited for us to receive His healing.

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Crumbs under the Table

Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour. – Matthew 15:21-28

Jesus called the woman a dog.

She was a marginalized person in her society and definitely someone with very low self-esteem. She was in a desperate situation and Jesus did not make anything easy for her. Of all the people he healed, Jesus gave this woman the hardest time. He had healed ungrateful people before and he dined with despicable characters but he only insulted this lowly woman in the gospels.

This story is inculcated in my mind ever since my insertion into the Anglican tradition as a teenager. The prayer of Humble Access* said before receiving Communion transformed the desperate plea of this woman into poetry.

“We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table. But thou art the same Lord, whose property is always to have mercy.”

The prayer teaches us how to interpret the text. It is about the power of God’s mercy.

The gospels are painting a picture of Jesus for us. It is a Jesus who lived in the harsh reality of his times. In fact, the Bible is a library of books written in the harsh historic reality of the authors and each of them try to show the mercy of God shining through these realities. His mercy is the Light which reveals a deeper reality.

In the Western countries as well as some affluent nations, dogs are treated better than people. People have more compassion for dogs than their fellow human beings. Calling someone a little puppy is sometimes a term of endearment. In Jesus’ time and still in the some parts of the Middle East I am told, dogs are like rats that serve a purpose like guarding a house. There is not much affection between people and dogs. Each society has people who are like the dogs of Jesus’ time.

Our ministry is to this particular group of people. I need to add a disclaimer here that I don’t consider them dogs and neither does anyone in our team. However, many people do consider these homeless children and teens to be nuisances and at best, they are barely tolerated. Churches do not set aside time and money in their annual budgets to minister and reach out to these children and teens. When they do give them something, it is usually the scraps of their time and energy. Just like what we give to stray dogs. Most people do not think about them at all unless they walk pass them in the streets. Just like the fact that I don’t think about rats in this rat infested city but when one rans across my path, I reminded that they are around. However, I would rather not remember this. This is basically the attitude of the churches and people have regarding the homeless. Yet, the same people believe wholeheartedly in equality of all people but reality tells a different story.

The words of Jesus address the harsh reality of life experienced by those who are considered like ‘dogs’. We are here working with young children and teenagers whom we know will not be treated as equals for the majority of their lives. They may never be able to shake off the feeling that they are outcasts. Yesterday I accompanied a young teenager, Igor, to a government agency to help him get his documents. We couldn’t find the specific building and I decided to ask for directions from a group of policeman. One of the policemen gave Igor a look of disgust and was staring at him aggressively as if he had done something wrong. While I was asking them for directions, this policeman still did not stop humiliating this boy with his stance and demeanor. Igor noticed this and walked on. This is part of his life. Igor has accepted the fact that many consider him to be a like a dog. I can talk to him about having a better self-esteem but it would not make a difference. Society will always treat him differently. What is important for Igor to know is if the gospel is for him as well or just for middle class people? He wants to know if the mercy of God can shine through his inadequacies and lowly status. He wants to know if he could gather up the crumbs under the table.

The prayer of Humble Access* reminds us that none of us are worthy to eat at the Table but God’s mercy invites us to participate at the table. However, most of us say this with our mouths but in reality we think that it is our right to be at the Lord’s Table. For people like us, we need to humble ourselves and know our true status. For someone like Igor, perhaps he needs to exercise his faith a little bit more to see that God’s mercy is also for him. There are many voices telling him, through their attitudes and actions, that he has no place at the Table. Igor needs to exercise his faith to see through these lies. Jesus challenged this woman to do exactly this. He called her dog but she knew that this was not going to stop God from pouring out His mercy for her. Of all the people in the Bible, this woman dominates the most respected place in our gospel. She was the only one who outwitted our Lord. Her words have found themselves in the Liturgy and in my opinion, it is one of the most beautiful prayers in our Liturgy.

*More information about the Prayer of Humble Access can be found here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer_of_Humble_Access

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Walking on Water

But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”- Matthew 14:22-27

Sometimes it seems like we don’t have the adequate resources to address the immensity of the needs around us.

Igor, the boy who was attacked by the dog, is illiterate. This is the first time I met a young teenager in the streets who could not even write his name. He has never been to school. This young man was so severely neglected as a child that his personal development was affected. Legally Igor is an adult and society would expect him to behave as one. However, mentally and emotionally, Igor does not have any of the tools that would help him get even the lowest paying job in São Paulo.

Rose is fifteen. She is intelligent and full of energy. Recently, she told us that she was pregnant. It wasn’t necessary because we noticed the growth of her stomach. When we asked her if she had any plans for her child, she just shrugged her shoulders and continued sniffing her paint thinner. I saw her last Monday and the growth of her stomach was gone. She miscarried her child. When we asked her about it, she wasn’t able to say anything intelligible about what had happened. She was too high on drugs.

These are just two examples and I could fill this post with examples of children and teens who appear to be so lost that it is easy to feel a sense of hopelessness. These children are born into a chaotic environment and it seems like they don’t believe there is anything better out there. Maybe they don’t have the time and energy because they just try to keep afloat in this sea of chaos.

Last Sunday, we heard the above gospel passage about Jesus walking on water. It is the first time I saw how relevant this text is to our present reality in the streets. The good news is that Jesus was not consumed by the sea of chaos. He walked on water.

At first, the disciples thought that it was a ghost or an illusion. They were obviously afraid. Ghosts are frightening because they challenge our sense of reality and not in a good way. Illusions are worse. They create an image of something that is not there in reality.

A few years ago, one of the teenagers accused our team leader of preaching illusions to the homeless. He said that our words were nothing but empty promises. These were strong words. In a sense, he was right. They are empty words if we don’t make it our reality. Faith is not make-believe, but it is an actual step towards a new understanding of reality. Of all the disciples, only Peter experienced this new reality. He was the only one who had faith while the rest just believed. Of course, he almost drowned as well. This is the risk. Faith is a risk. The gospel only becomes real for those who are willing to take the risk. It is a risk to tell these children and teenagers that it is possible for them to have a full and complete life in this world. For many, it is like a frightening ghost that challenges everything they have known. For some, it is illusion that would only disappoint. It takes faith to step out on the water. It does not mean that we pretend that we are not doing something which is normally not done.

I understand faith as interpreting my reality through the Lord who walks on water. I don’t have to pretend that the sea of chaos is not dangerous and unwelcoming, but it does not determine what we can or cannot do in this reality. Whenever I talk the teenagers of the hope of the gospel, I am also fully aware that maybe everything could go wrong for them or me despite having faith. It is a risk to believe in the promise of abundant life. However, we need to walk on water because Jesus is waiting there. He is bringing a new perspective to Life and we will only understand this new perspective if we walk out to where He is standing. This miracle is perhaps one of the greatest miracles in the gospels. It changes how we understand Jesus working in our reality. He is not hindered the circumstances in which we find ourselves. He transcends them. We know that we are surrounded by the sea of chaos but we also know that we are here because the One who walks on water is able to bring order into this chaotic environment.

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Comfort for the Orphans

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.- Psalm 27:10

A young homeless teenager was attacked by a Rottweiler. It happened in the middle of the night. He was walking to the square where he usually sleeps when all the sudden a big unleashed dog came out of nowhere and attacked him. The dog bit him in the groin area. I don’t know how he managed to get away from the dog but he did. He ran to the square covered with blood. The other homeless teenagers quickly got some money together and tried to find a taxi to take him to the hospital. Fortunately, a passerby noticed the injured boy and immediately called the ambulance. He received thirty stitches but he was not hospitalized. He lost a lot of blood but the hospital where he went is often overcrowded and they could not keep him there. He returned to the square to sleep. The boy’s name is Igor and he is about eighteen. This is not the same Igor from my previous post. Igor happens to be a common Brazilian name. This particular Igor is relatively new to us. We have seen him around but he is quite shy and hardly speaks to us.

All this happened at night and when we saw the teens the next day we were unaware of what had happened. Igor was lying on a thin cushion covered with dirty blankets. He was sniffing paint thinner and there was no evidence that anything had happened. I guess that no one wanted to talk about it because Igor was hurt in his intimate parts and they respected his privacy. However, something was different. Igor approached us and asked to do some activity with us. He asked me in particular to read to him from the Bible. At first I was a little confused because none of the older teens have ever made such a request. He asked me to sit next to him and read the Bible with him. I did exactly this. I read the story about Jesus calming the storm and we talked about what it means to trust God, not just depending on Him to help us through tough situations but entrusting our whole being unto Him. When I was done, Igor wanted me to continue. We read some stories from the Old Testament and talked about them. Then a woman came with some medicine for him. She was the owner of the unattended dog. Naturally I was a little confused with all the medication she gave him. It was at this point when Igor told me what had happened to him.
The owner of the dog is homeless as well and she has three young children with her. The dog was protecting her children and Igor unknowingly walked passed where the children had been sleeping. The dog was still around and it was not far from where we were. However, Igor appeared to be calm. After the woman left, he asked me to continue to read. He sat close by and listened attentively to what I was reading. It was interesting. Igor had just experienced something stressful and he wanted to have someone close by and read something that brought peace to his soul. He wanted a father figure to be near him.

I asked him if he was in pain and he said that he had taken some painkillers. He wanted to know if there were certain foods that he should avoid. He talked a little bit about what happened and then I asked him if I could pray with him. His face lit up and he said “Yes”. We prayed a short prayer and the other teenagers looked on. It was important that they saw what we did. We want them to know that we are willing to sit with them and bring some comfort when they need it as well. They might be homeless but it does not mean that they have to go through these moments alone. Igor experienced something frightening and stressful and he had no place to go to recover. He needed extra care and attention and he had no family to give it. His biological father is in prison and Igor had never been to school. This is a boy who has suffered neglect all his life. Today, he was hurt and wanted special attention. I am glad that he invited us to do something with him. I am grateful that for a short period I was like a father to this young man.

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Laziness is not an Answer

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.- Matthew 5:22

The above gospel verse was taken from the context of a discussion on the subject of murder. Jesus likens calling someone “a fool” or “raca” (which means useless or worthless) to murder. When it used as an insult, both terms imply that the person is not worth our time and energy or our compassion. Consequently, we would not care if anything happens to them or rather they cease to be considered human beings to us. If we understand murder as robbing someone of their humanity, then words are also capable of depriving someone of their humanity.

We have heard many times people say that the poor are poor because they are plain lazy. Sometimes people make the distinction by saying that there are the deserving poor and there are some who are just plain lazy. By this, they imply that these lazy poor are not worthy of compassion or mercy. In some cases, they would even consider it wrong to help the so-called lazy poor.

The paradox is that saying that the poor are lazy is actually a lazy way to identify the problem. If we are serious about being instruments of the gospel, then we should refrain from using unhelpful terms that rob people of their humanity. Calling someone lazy does not redeem anyone’s humanity and the gospel is about redemption.

No one wants to be lazy. It is in our nature to work if it helps us to get what we want in life. The incentive to work depends on whether we are motivated. Instead of calling people lazy, we should discover why aren’t people motivated to work. I am sure that sociologists or economists could come up with plethora of reasons why people aren’t motivated. We do not approach the problem from their perspective. We do it from the midst of teens and adults in homeless situations. We ask ourselves why is it hard for them to seek employment? They don’t have any motivation to work. We believe our motivation to work stems from relationships. When we believe that what we are doing is going to strengthen and secure our relationship with our family and friends, then we are motivated. Sometimes people put up with tedious and mundane work just to sustain their family. However, it is difficult to be motivated if you don’t have friends or family.

Igor is 19 years old. He has been living in the streets since he was eight. His father died when he was three and his mother was murdered when he was seven. From the tender age of eight, Igor has used drugs and lived without any adult supervision. He was detained in juvenile centers for most of his teenage years. His only experience with a disciplined life was under the threat of physical abuse in the juvenile center. When he left the juvenile center at the age of 18, he made a conscious decision not to be involved with crime or drugs.

A few weeks ago, Igor found a job. It was with a cleaning service. Unfortunately, he only worked for a week at this place before quitting. He did not find the work to be hard. He did not mind the work. Even though the pay wasn’t great, he did not mind the low salary. He quit because he found it hard to keep a regular routine. He sleeps in the streets and has no alarm clock. Besides, he is not accustomed to keeping appointments and relating to bosses and authority figures. He was afraid that he was going to fail and therefore, he quit before he got fired. We asked him if he was ever late for his work. He told us that he made sure that he was punctual for the whole week, but he knew that it wasn’t going to last. Igor quit because he was afraid that he was going to fail.

We asked him if he wanted our help in keeping a routine. He responded that he did not even know what this meant. His answer made us pause for a while. We realized that simple things such as keeping a routine and fulfilling a commitment are things that we learn in the environment of a family. These things are nurtured in us through the living examples of our parents or parental figure. We were gradually taught explicitly and implicitly to honor our responsibilities. Perhaps we were given the chance to fail and given several chances to learn the value of commitment. All these can be taught in an environment of love and forgiveness. Igor never grew up in such an environment.

Igor is legally considered an adult. However, his social skills are limited and he knows it. For him, it is frightening to make the transition from living in the streets to working in a 9 to 5 job. He is paralyzed by fear. Fear stops him from working. However, in the eyes of the world, he is just another lazy homeless teen. On the other hand, the message of gospel compels us to see beyond the superficial. Igor needs a family to help him overcome his fear of failure. He cannot do this unless he knows that there will be grace and forgiveness.

Igor does not have all his personal documents yet. We offered to help him apply for them. He accepted our help. We made an appointment for him and asked him to meet us at the office where these documents are issued. When we got to this building, Igor was waiting there for us. He got there fifteen minutes early. He was afraid that he was going to be late. We needed to pay for the processing fee and he vehemently refused our money. He wanted to earn the money by doing some odd jobs. Finally we convinced him to allow us to pay for it for now and he can repay us when he has a job. He reluctantly agreed. We managed to get his documents without any hassle. Before we left the place, Igor hugged us and told us that he was going to apply for another job this week. The fear is still present, but he seemed a little bit more confident. We hope that Igor will find some strength through his friendship with us to overcome his fears.

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