So the last will be first, and the first will be last. Matthew 20:16

“The Loneliness of a Long Distance Runner”. Definitely not a very exciting name for a movie. Unfortunately, this was the only movie that was on that Friday night. In my teenage years, my father allowed me to watch TV only on Friday evening. It wasn’t because he was concerned about the content. He was a very thrifty man. The electric bill had gone up ever since we got the new black and white TV. Needless to say, this was quite a while back. TV was simpler back then; two channels with lousy options. Despite the lackluster movie name, I wasn’t going to give up my special time in front of the tube. I was pleasantly surprised. I was completely engrossed in the story. Since then, I must have watched hundreds of movies with exciting and innovative names. However, I forgotten most of them but not this one. The long distance runner remains in my heart till today,

The protagonist grew up in a time when the world was recovering from a war which devastated the country. The poor had become poorer. His father died from cancer as a result of the dangerous chemicals he inhaled while working in a factory. He left his widow penniless with a teenage son. She decided to seek a new mate, much to the chagrin of our young man. Eventually, she married someone whom the boy despised. His house was no longer his home. Instead, he found refuge among his friends who came from similar background. It didn’t take long before things deteriorated. He ended up in the juvenile detention center where he suffered violence and abuse at the hands of authority. His only solace was running long distances which he found to be peaceful and comforting.

His incredible stamina and speed caught the attention of the detention center director. He was an avid sportsman and wanted to acquire funding for an athlete program in the center. He immediately attempted to convince the boy to represent the reform school in a five kilometer race organized by the local private schools. It was his chance to show off to the upper crust of society his capabilities of reforming delinquents into what he considered worthy citizens. The young man accepted the challenge and trained himself to gain the respect of his director. Eventually, he became the apple of his eye. He was rewarded with special privileges and promised many more if he won the race. Everyday, while his fellow inmates worked in the factory, our friend ate well and rested and trained for the race. When the day came, he was by far the best runner. No one could keep up with him. As he approached the finishing line, he had an epiphany about what crossing the victory line meant. He saw his director was waiting at the end smiling with approval. This was his opportunity to gain the recognition of the world. Then images of his friends doing hard labor in the factories popped into his mind, then his father, his mother and her new husband, and the police abusing him mercilessly. He stopped running and just stood contemplating what to do. Everyone was confused. He just stood still as the others ran pass him and crossed the finishing line. The director left the scene disgusted. Our protagonist went back to work in the factories with his mates. I remember being devastated by his decision. I wanted him to experience something good for a change. Alas, he chose not to cross the line. I think I understand now. The first shall be last and he chose not be first in this world.

There is a great shift in Christianity in recent times. It used to be the faith of the “last” and now it has become a faith enamored with the “first” of this world. Our spiritual history is replete with saints who were born into wealth and then left everything to become the “last”. We still have their images etched on our stained glass windows. Unfortunately, their light has been slowly dimmed through our indifference. Today is more common to read Christian ministers quoting Bill Gates or Steve Jobs as an inspiration for successful lives than these saints, something I have been seeing quite frequently. If I shared a story of a homeless youth who lived a good life but nevertheless continues to be homeless and will be so for the rest of his life, there would be sadness and silence among those who hear this. However, if I were to say that a homeless man today is a millionaire and owns several up and coming businesses, there would be applause. I know this to be true because I was one of those who applauded once. I never bothered to consider the words of Jesus when He said that one could gain the whole but end up losing his soul. After all, the message of the gospel is not about helping someone become “first” in this world. It is about the unconditional love of God. Jesus was only concerned to reveal this Truth to us.

It is important to remember when Jesus walked among us He never engaged with the “firsts” of this world. He never consulted the top religious leaders of his time. He never praised the great military leaders and emperors of his period. Their roles and position in life was completely irrelevant to His ministry. On the other hand, he paid attention to the ones considered to be “last”; the ones whom no one wants to pick to be on their team. These are the ones Jesus chooses to be in his party. In fact, He made it a criteria.

“If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Those whom the world admires, the billionaires, politicians, actors, etc. are only admirable for those who want to be like them. They are the finishing line of this era. However, as Christians, they can not be our models by any shape or form.

In our ministry, I used to be like the director in the movie I mentioned. I wanted the children and teens to cross the line. I desired that they become first and be accepted in this world. Now, I realize the wisdom of the long distance runner. Being first in this world comes with a price. The people who are first tend to forget the struggles and suffering of those who did not make it first. They forget that everything they possess was not acquired by their own merit. They tend to believe that they are better than the ones perceived as “last”. Just what we read in the parable when the workers who were hired first complained and said, “These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.” (Matthew 20:12) This is the same argument the older brother used against the father for accepting the prodigal son back into his fold. Those who are “first” in this world forget that they got to be where they are because of God’s grace. Nothing we have is due to our own merits. Everything comes from God. The difference between the righteous and the wicked in the Bible is that the former recognize this truth. Our concern with the children and youth is not that they become “firsts” in this world. We should not desire to the world to applaud them in this life. Instead, we hope to help them become like the long distance runner and stop before they surrender their soul to the false god of this world.

In this world, people are divided into “first” and “last”. In the Kingdom of God, our focus is on the generosity of God’s love which sees beyond this simplistic mindset of this world and loves people regardless of their successes and failures in this world. Just because one is successful in this life does not mean that they are blessed. The opposite is true also. Someone who is considered a failure in this world might be the one for whom Jesus is willing to abandon everything and search. Jesus likes to be among the “last” of this world. It is just the way He chooses to be.

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if a brother sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

Two brothers; one was 8 and the older one was ten when it happened. Their home life consisted of an angry violent father and the rest of family living in constant fear. Strangely, drugs or alcohol were not involved. One day he grabbed a rubber hose and attacked the brothers with it. Obviously, this was not the first time but definitely the most violent. The older brother did all he could to protect his younger sibling. His whole body was covered with welts and the father just wouldn’t stop. The mother was powerless to protect her boys. She was always the first to suffer. Their only chance of survival was to run into the streets and plea for help. They managed to escape and the police were called. The father fled the scene. The bruises on the older boy sufficed to anger the arresting officers. They were determined to apprehend their abuser. The brothers saw their father subdued and handcuffed. They felt relieved. Then, the younger one overheard the police officer telling the father, “You are going to get a taste of your own medicine in prison.” He told me that he would never forget those words. He wasn’t sure what to make of them. He did not want anything bad to happen to his father. He still loved his father despite everything. They lost him on that day.

The brothers eventually ended up in the streets. Even though the threat in their household was gone, something had radically changed within them. They realized that their home would never be a safe place for them. They loved their mother but also knew that she was incapable of protecting them. They decided to search for their own safe space. Ironically, living in the streets was the best option. Unfortunately, the older brother got involved with the wrong crowd and landed up in the juvenile detention center soon after. Regrettably, this brought him in contact with other teens involved in crime. By the time, he reached adulthood, he was already a seasoned criminal. He is presently in prison. The younger brother was different. He went to the streets only because of his older brother. He was the only person that made him feel safe in this world. When his brother was taken away from him, he found himself once again abandoned and alone in this world. He had to carve out a safe place for himself on his own. Thanks to his older brother, he never lost his belief in humanity. He always appreciated his brother’s sacrificial love for him. He was always open to trust people. Soon, he made friends in the streets who became just like his older brother. They gave him a sense of security. This is all he wanted. There were many like him in the streets. They wanted a safe place. Some of were young girls were raped or sexually abused by the very ones who were suppose to protect them from rapists and other sexual predators. There were those who struggled with their sexual identity and they suffered the most. There were those who don’t even remember the names of their parents. They were there in the streets wondering if there was anywhere in the world where they could feel safe and at home. There was none so they decided that the streets was their only option. They made the best of it and kept each other safe.

I thought reading the above gospel text about forgiveness among the children and teens was going to be interesting. I was curious to hear what they thought about Jesus’ radical views on the subject. The younger brother, when he read the text, was somewhat taken aback. He looked at me puzzled and asked, “Does Jesus expect us to keep constant track of the number of times we forgive? Seventy times seven! That’s too complicating! I would rather just forgive and then go on with my life.” It was interesting. He did not have a problem with forgiving. He just did not want to keep track of it. I told him that Jesus meant exactly this. We should forgive without keeping an account. Then he laughed. When you think about it, Jesus did give a humorous answer back to Peter. Forgiveness is essential for survival in the streets. I had never thought about it. The homeless don’t have the luxury of holding grudges even though there are some who do. They are the minority. Most of the time, these ones don’t survive. Their hatred consumes them to the point that they either kill or get killed.

The younger brother told me that the homeless teens need to let go of their past in order to survive in the present. Unfortunately, in their case, it also means not expecting their families to be their families anymore. They don’t hate them. In fact, many of them still speak fondly of their families especially their mothers or grandmothers. He told me that he saw his father after 10 years or so. He was genuinely happy to see him. The father is now married to another woman and has three children. He even met her and his half siblings. He thought that she was a lovely person and his father seemed to have overcome his personal demons. He was genuinely happy for him although he knows that the paternal relationship between them is gone forever. He realizes he cannot have that kind of expectation anymore. He has forgiven him unconditionally and part of this means not having any expectations.

Forgiveness cannot undo the past. It means just accepting it. It is also realizing that the people who hurt and disappointed us are broken people. Sometimes they can do great evil to us. However, when we forgive them, we are choosing to believe that they are not intrinsically evil. At least, this is how our homeless youth deal with it. For them, forgiveness is choosing to believe that the person who harmed them is not beyond redemption and they believe that he or she can change. They forgive because they want to be able to receive the person back into their lives in some shape or form. The younger brother received his father back but not in the same manner as before. Things have changed and forgiveness also means that we accept these changes.

I have known the younger brother for many years. This was the first time he shared his story with me because the subject of forgiveness gave him this opportunity. He has his fathers number with him always. I asked if he called him recently. “Not yet.” He responded, “ I have learned to live my life without him and besides, he has his own family now. I am just glad that we have some contact.”

Perhaps some might say that he is just saying this but deep down inside he might be bitter about what his father did. It has to be quite deep if no one can notice. There is no sign of hostility or bitterness when he talks about his father. I can say the same for the other children and teens we know. Danyel’s mother is cold and unaffectionate. However, when she suffered an accident, he went home immediately to help her. He loves her deeply even though she is emotionally and mentally incapable of reciprocating this love. Gabriel told me once that he was in the streets because he was helping his mother. She will have one less mouth to feed. He has her name tattooed on his fore arm. The list goes on. Forgiveness is something our children and teens have embraced. Not because some religious leaders told them to do so or a psychoanalyst recommended it. They did it because it was essential for their own humanity. It was the only way they could move forward in this life. It doesn’t mean that they have been healed from the emotional and spiritual injuries they sustained from their suffering. Forgiveness just opens the door for the healing process. This might take the rest of their lives. Perhaps, along the way they still might need to revisit their friend, Forgiveness, and hold her hand as she guides them through the healing process.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them. – Matthew 18:20

It is amazing how a tiny thing can change everything.

I had the perfect plan for this week. I was going to read the above verse to some of the teens and ask their opinion about. After all, Jesus describes the church in its simplest state. I thought it was a good opportunity to talk to some of the teens about it. First, I was going to meet Bruno at the place where he usually begs. I was hoping to run into Daniel and Gabriel and maybe even Wallace. I could ask them what they thought about this verse. Then my final stop would be at Felipe’s place to read the same text with him. It was quite a good plan if I say so myself except that… a tiny sting of a scorpion ruined everything.

On the day I was going to the streets, I woke up to several urgent messages from Felipe. He was stung by a scorpion. Obviously, he was in pain since the early morning and now it was spreading to his arm and shoulder. He asked for our advise. Needless to say, we were completely clueless. Thankfully, we have access to the internet. It gave some information about the danger signs. Naturally I had to forget about all my plans and focus on Felipe. There was a possibility that he might need urgent medical attention. I went to his place immediately.

It is worth mentioning that Felipe and his wife are squatters in a tiny abandoned space under a highway bridge. It used to be a storage unit for the state and now several families have divided the area into small rooms. Unfortunately, it is infested with cockroaches and these in turn have attracted the scorpions. It was either this place or homelessness. This is the sad reality of the thousands of squatters in our area. The scorpions are not usually harmful to adults but they can be deadly to little children. It all started with a nightmare. It almost sounded like a premonition by his description. Felipe dreamed that something terrible was going to happen to his son, Davi. He immediately woke up to get him from his crib. Unbeknown to him, there was a scorpion just above the toddler’s head. It stung Felipe’s hand just at the moment when he gently placed his hand on his son’s head. At first, it was just felt a minor irritation. Then, it became a burning sensation. Eventually his hand went numb but the pain crept to the rest of his arm and shoulder. This is when he sent a message to us.

Thankfully, I found him waiting for me when I got to his place. He was smiling. It was a good sign. He told me that the pain had subsided. His hand was still sore. I did give him some money to go to the hospital just in case. As usual, Felipe was a little embarrassed to take it but he knew that it was important to have some emergency cash. I was going to leave immediately so that he could rest. He had a tough morning. However, he was in the mood to talk.

We went for a short walk. He asked lots of questions about scorpions and other deadly creatures. This is something new in Felipe ever since he left the streets. He has developed an earnest desire to learn about everything under the Sun and beyond. In the past, his life was too conflicted with a sense of meaninglessness which kept him from pursuing things of his interest. Now the obstacle is removed from his path. He is ready to embrace life. This particular day he wanted to talk about life and death.

He is aware that the venom from the scorpion was not deadly to adults. Even then, he spent the whole morning thinking about death. He shared that the common way people talk about life after death sounded strange to him. For him and the other homeless youth, they have frequent brushes with death. For him, life after death is when you have a renewed understanding of life after a close encounter with death. The whole incident with the scorpion has refreshed his zest for life. I did not realize that he really had a scare about death this morning albeit understandably. Most of us in is shoes would have rushed to the emergency ward. Unfortunately, for Felipe and the very poor like him, they usually endure the pain in their tiny room without much medical assistance. He asked me if I thought that God was giving him an opportunity to live longer in this life for a purpose. I told him that God gives us life in this world to experience and enjoy His love in this world and when we do this, His love will flow through us to those in our midst. This was what I believe is the purpose of our life.

The moment was ripe for me to share about this week’s lectionary reading. Felipe was more than ready to read from the Bible with me. He read the verse above aloud and asked almost immediately, “Does this mean that every Sunday, when we meet together to read the Bible and pray, Jesus is physically present with us?” This is what Jesus appears to say, I responded. According to Him, all we need to be a church is to gather one another person and be open to receive and share God’s love.

“What comes to your mind when you think about the person of Jesus?” I asked Felipe. He said without any hesitation, “Acceptance, compassion, joy, and peace and even a sense of fulfillment.” Sometimes, he said, when he leaves us to go home, he feels like his soul has been enriched. I told him that we sense the same feeling too. Perhaps, this is what means to have Jesus in our midst. He awakens something in our innermost being. We may not be able to explain it but it gives us a sense of joy and peace. Felipe went on to say something very interesting. He told me that when he was still living in the streets, he and some of the children and teens gathered together to pray by themselves. Other times, when they went to the coastal town during the hot summer months, they had to hike through the woods on certain parts of the journey. Consequently they saw breathtaking scenery and sometimes came across some wild animals. They always said a prayer to thank God for these things. Many times they felt a sense of peace and belonging when they prayed together. He claimed that they were not very articulate in their prayers but nevertheless, they sensed God’s presence in their midst. He said that he never knew it but they were being a church back then. According to what he read, Jesus was present whenever they were together and prayed.

It is quite amazing through all these years we have been with these young people, this was the first time I have heard this. I always knew God was actively present in their midst but this was the first time I heard about their religious life. It was something they did without anyone encouraging them. It came from their souls. They responded to the voice of the Holy Spirt in their hearts. A door has been opened to us now. Felipe and the children have invited us to see their hidden spiritual life. Their faith has always been very private to them. Perhaps they thought that many would not take it seriously. Now we know that when they told us even though they are orphans to the world, God was always their Father and Mother that these weren’t mere words. They were an expression of their spirituality.

From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Matthew 16:21-23

“I used to have a good job, a wonderful family and a nice home. I threw it all away because of this thing!” He showed me his crack pipe. “A prostitute invited me to try some and I never turned back since then.” I really wasn’t sure why he was telling me his story. I had never seen him before. I did not even know his name. He just felt like talking and I was there. It was quite simple.

I listened, of course, to his monologue but I was a little confused. “If you had a great job, good family and a decent house, why did you need to use drugs? Obviously something was missing that made you feel the need to escape.” From the look on his face, I realized that I touched on something too personal. It wasn’t my intention to challenge him. I was just a little confused and curious. Without saying a word, he turned around and walked away. It was the appropriate answer to give to a complete stranger like myself. I never saw him again. Hopefully, one day he will meet someone with whom he can truly explore the real reason why he has abandoned everything to live in the streets. He is never going to get healed until he goes beyond the superficial. Crack is a deadly drug but it is not all powerful to make a happy person abandon everything. It is something that unhappy people flock to in order to escape this world. It is a demon making us avoid facing the harsh reality of our lives.

Demons are not as powerful as many claim. They just keep us swimming in the shallow end of life. They lie to us that it is safer to remain where we are. We are constantly surrounded by them. They can be sinister like crack or innocuous like binge watching a favorite TV series or engaging blindly in any movement making us live in an abstract world. In the case of today’s gospel reading, the devil manifested himself in Peter. Regardless of their shape or form, demons’ function is always the same. They make us avoid facing the harsh realities of life. They create an alternate existence where we feel safe and in the end we end up with a meaningless life. Jesus was right in his rebuke. Peter was indeed being Satan. He wanted Jesus to remain in the superficial role of a Messiah. However, Jesus is concerned about abundant life.

The gospel is meaningless unless we are willing to look at the world as it is. It is not a world that is going to change for us. Some believe in God because they think that He will change their circumstances. Peter thought that since Jesus was the Messiah, things are going to be different. He was going to make everything right in this world. Instead, Jesus told the disciples that He was going to be tortured and killed. He was going to suffer just as a powerless person would in a self-destructive system. It was the last thing anyone wanted to hear from the Messiah. They had practical expectations for Him. Yet, God is not pragmatic like us. He sees things from a different perspective. We just see the superficial. Sometimes we think that this is the only reality that matters. Jesus, however, wants to take us beyond what our eyes can see and our ears can hear. He wants to walk with us to the deep end of life.

I shared this story before but this time I want to emphasize Alex’s faith. I am sure some would remember his many misadventures with dogs. He tended to adopt the sickly ones and the result was always tragic. Once he had a healthy dog and it looked like it would survive. Unfortunately it went missing. Alex really loved this dog and he began to get desperate. Someone told him that it was in a field near a highway, not too far away from where the children sleep. He wanted me to go with him to search for the puppy. To be honest, I wasn’t too keen. We needed to cross a busy highway to get to the field. However, it was important for Alex so I went with him. As I walked next to him, I heard him mutter a prayer quietly, “Please, Lord, let my puppy to be safe and sound.” As we approached the fields, his prayers became louder and they were accompanied with tears. I will never forget this. It was heart breaking. He kept repeating this prayer until we reached the fields. Alas, the dog was nowhere to be found. I became a little desperate and prayed Alex’s prayer. I was concerned for him. I thought that if anything happened to the dog, it would be devastating for his faith. Alex found it much later in the evening. It had died. I am not exactly sure how it died, maybe out of fear and hunger. The children dug a grave with their hands and buried the puppy. God did not heed his prayers.

We did not see Alex for a few days after the incident. We were a little concerned. Then we saw him. He was back to normal. His faith was intact. He was not angry with God that his dog died nor the fact that his earnest prayers weren’t answered. He did not even need an explanation for God’s silence. In fact, this is true for most of our children and teens. They have prayed countless prayers, sometimes to escape physical and sexual abuse. Most of the time, their prayers were not answered. They suffered and even watched some of their friends die from these abuses. They never falter in their faith. If they heard Jesus say to them that He was going to be tortured and murdered unjustly, they would say that Jesus was exactly like them. It would not diminish their faith in Him. He would continue to be their God and Savior. Our children and teens are not pragmatic in this sense. For them, God does not have to serve a purpose. They are happy if He is with them. This is one thing that is clear in the gospel. It is about the fact that God is with us. Where God’s presence is strongly felt, there is abundant Life.

Jesus warns us that being his disciple means that we forfeit the privilege of seeing life from a cozy corner. We are to engage in life with all its brutalities. We don’t face them as judges but rather as people who are willing to submit to life’s harsh realities without being overcome by them. Our children and teens are born in an unjust society where they will never be able to overcome all the many obstacles before them. It is important that they see this reality as our Messiah saw the cruel future awaiting him in Jerusalem. Something tells me that perhaps our children and teens are more prepared for this more than us. Most of us reading this come from a different environment. We are privileged compared to our children and teens in the streets. However, it would be a mistake to think that our fortunate situation is how life should be. Consequently, we might end up believing that it is incumbent on God to maintain us in this comfortable situation. God is not pragmatic. He made it clear that He won’t make the world amenable for us. He is going to face it as it is and invites us to join Him. If we are willing to take His Hand and walk with Him, then we will discover that all the cruelties and abuse that this world throws at us cannot stop us from discovering abundant life.

Jesus answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly. Matthew 15:24-28

I won’t say that she was disturbed. Something bothered her and she needed to share it with someone. We were there walking beside her to our home. We had seen her before. She was in her mid-eighties. She had witnessed an altercation. Alcohol was the catalyst and two adult men were on the brink of lunging at each other’s throat over something trivial. Then one insulted the other calling him a dog. Our narrator took offense at this. She looked us in the eyes and said, “Dogs are kind and lovely creatures! These two men were irresponsible and immature.” This woman had lived a long life and seen many things but this really bothered her. She is right. Dogs are kind creatures. Calling someone a dog should be a compliment, not an insult in our society.

Jesus called Canaanite woman a dog in the gospel reading above. To think that this was an affectionate term would be committing the sin of anachronism. These faithful animals do not have an honorable place in all societies. In the land where Jesus dwelled, they are considered as unclean animals, just a tiny bit better than rats. In fact, physical contact with dogs would make you unclean religiously. Calling someone a dog in this context is a grave insult. The term was derogative and in the context of Jesus’ time could be considered a racial slur. However, to jump to the conclusion that Jesus was being racist would also be committing the sin of anachronism. It was a different time with different values. It doesn’t mean it was right.

Jacques Ellul, a French theologian and sociologist, wrote that there is a significant difference between the incarnation of the gods in the pagan mythologies and the gospel. In the latter, the incarnated God embraces all our limitations without resorting to His divinity to overcome them, whereas in the former, they maintain their godlike powers. Jesus grew up in specific space and time, subjected to the values as well as prejudices of the period. There is no such thing as a community or society or an individual that is free from prejudices. It is part of our human nature to harbor prejudices. This does not justify it by any means. It just implies that Jesus also was not immune to all this. However, He shows a better way to deal with it.

Jesus did challenge some of these attitudes, especially the ones towards Samaritans. He made a Samaritan as the protagonist of his most famous parable which has found a permanent place in the imaginations of many peoples. Now, He turns His focus on the attitudes towards the Canaanite people. Jesus basically stated what everyone thought about her including his apostles. She was considered an outsider and barely tolerated very much like a dog at that time. No one gave their best to the dogs then. Therefore, everyone in the room with Jesus were in agreement that it was not much point in wasting time with her. I have heard these words said to me before in regards to our children and teens. Sadly, many times they came from religious leaders. They thought that we should focus our attention on the young ones and not waste precious time on the older ones. If I am honest with myself, I am guilty of harboring such attitudes too, albeit not in the same sense. Sometimes I think that I am wasting my time talking to certain people in the streets when I could be doing something else. I never once considered it to be a problem but the Light from this gospel story is revealing something else. I see myself as someone calling another person “a barely tolerated dog”.

Jesus used language that seems harsh to our modern ears. It does not mean that we are more sensitive to the plight of the marginalized of our time. It could mean that we don’t like see hidden attitudes being drawn out into open. Jesus, on the other hand, is about being the Light of this world. He exposes everything, good and bad. He expressed exactly what everyone present in the room thought about this woman. She did not deserve what Jesus had to offer because she was not part of the privileged group.

No matter what our ethical and political positions, we always think that we are the ones who are privileged enough to know what is truly right or wrong. Those who believe differently from us are the dogs or whatever is derogative in our present times. We believe that we shouldn’t waste too much time with them. Maybe we are right. There are people in this world who wallow in their ignorance and are belligerent to those who think otherwise. Maybe we shouldn’t waste too much time with them. After all, Jesus did say, “Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you” (Matthew 7:6). However, at the same time, this is not a license to discard people like things.

Last week, one of our youths shared a negative experience he encountered in a church. He decided to attend a church service near the place where the homeless teens hang out. It was a Pentecostal church. Towards the end of the service, the minister had a time where he “prophesied” over the lives of the people. He singled our young friend and told him that God revealed to him and this young man was going to suffer the fate of all young drug dealers. Needless to say, he walked out with the church deeply saddened and disappointed. He has never in his years in the streets engaged in any criminal activities. The minister just saw a homeless youth and jumped to conclusions. He allowed his personal prejudices to inform him about the young man but the fact was that this teen wanted to be in the church. He went there because he wanted to grow in his faith. Instead, he was discarded by someone who used God’s name in vain.

Jesus was born in a community that had its fair share of prejudices. He did not pretend that they did not exist. He did not believe that they would have gone away without confronting them. He allowed His faith to see the faith and devotion present in the marginalized woman. His faith transformed not just the life of the woman but He also gave her a permanent role in our spirituality. In other words, a “dog” of his society was given a place of honor. I am sure that the elderly woman I shared about initially would approve of this.

Jesus said to them, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” They replied, “We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.” Matthew 14:16-18

I love Mondays. It wasn’t always like that. I mean I used to despise them with a passion, especially when I hated my job. I also hated school, but I liked my classmates. They made school pleasurable. I belonged a huge class. There were forty boys crammed into one classroom. We remained in the same class for six years. Most of us took it upon ourselves to make school fun and tolerable, consequently making us the nightmare of most of our teachers. They had to admit that we were a creative lot, especially when it came to mischief.

We were passionate about two things; science and play. The rest was dispensable, we thought. Maybe we were right. Most teachers avoided our class like the plague. We used to be proud of this fact. My friends made Mondays tolerable when I was in school. After all these years we are still in contact. We call ourselves brothers of class…We truly are, more than I expected. This Monday, I received news that one of them passed away suddenly. He was one of my closest friends back then. Even though I haven’t had any quality time with him for thirty years, I still felt something dear and special in me was gone. Suddenly, there was a sense of lost and disorientation. My cousin called me. It so happened that he was part of my class too. I haven’t heard his voice for ten years. He called and was in tears. My departed friend had been his best friend all these years.

Mondays set the tone for the week. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to focus on what was left of it. Regardless of how I felt, I decided to meet with our homeless youth. I was hoping to see Daniel or even Wanderson. I haven’t seen or talked with them for weeks. They weren’t around yet. I dropped by Felipe’s residence. Most of the people were hanging around outside the building. There is still a recommendation for social distancing. However, almost everyone, including Felipe and his family, here lives in a tiny windowless room. We cannot expect a family of five or six to be cooped up in small spaces all day. Felipe was among them.

We went together to where the teens usually beg. Only Bruno was there. His first question was whether I was aware of a tragic incident in the streets. Last week, one of the teens died suddenly. I heard it from Felipe but Bruno just received the news. Obviously, everyone was shocked. The young man just collapsed while talking to the other teens. Apparently, his heart just gave out on him. His name was Maxwell. He was a little different. Mary and I used to joke that he always looked grumpy. It was true and even Bruno and Felipe admitted this. He hardly smiled. He hardly talked to us too. Then one day, he came up to us and asked us if we wanted to play a game with him. It was his first contact with us. Strangely, he pronounced our names perfectly even though he never spoke to us. Our names, as common as they might be in an English speaking culture, are a rarity here and quite difficult for the local tongue. On top of that, we were surprised that he wanted to do anything with us. We gladly obliged. The next few days, he looked for us to play a game. Then one day, it happened. He smiled and even laughed. He decided to let his guard down. After this, he was extra respectful to us and always greeted us. We had brief moments with this young man but they were genuine moments. It was powerful enough to leave an impression in our souls. Maxwell is now gone but there were many tears shed for him. Thankfully, he did not leave this world as an invisible person. His absence was strongly felt in our hearts. Before I left home, I checked my phone for messages. Guilherme who has been home for the past few weeks wrote to me. He asked if I knew that Maxwell had passed away. He must have just heard the news. He needed to share it with someone else. This is what happens what someone dear leaves us. We want the whole world to know and mourn the person’s departure. However, the rest of the world were too busy to notice Maxwell’s absence. They have never seen him smile.

Whenever I read about above gospel reading on the feeding of the five thousand, I am struck by the disciples’ response. My understanding has matured over the years. I used to read with a self-righteous perspective secretly chiding the disciples for their lack of faith in Jesus’ capabilities. Then, I thought maybe it has something to do with having a more positive outlook and not disregarding what we have to offer. Now, I am beginning to feel that it is a realistic assessment of life. When we look at this world with all its immense needs and problems, there is really little which can be done. Whatever we attempt to do will be like trying to feed thousands with hungry souls with five loaves and two fish. Unfortunately for us, we don’t have Jesus with us all the time to multiply our meager offerings. Sometimes, our five loaves just remain as five loaves. They just don’t simply multiply.

Maxwell is gone and he won’t come back. He lived his whole life in the streets. There is a documentary floating around somewhere about his life. A filmmaker decided to focus on Maxwell when he met him on the streets. He wanted to accompany the life journey of this young man. This is how we first met him about 8 years ago. He was in the midst of a film crew and he was the grumpiest looking character there. He was born into a family that was homeless. He never had a chance. Maxwell is one of the countless people in this situation. They are more than five thousand. Maybe there are at least two million people who are considered so poor that they are called the “miserable” class. If Jesus were to ask us to feed these people, we wouldl realize that all our resources amount to nothing but five loaves and two fish in comparison with the immensity of the problem facing us. However, it doesn’t mean that our offerings are pointless.

Perhaps, the most important lesson is that what we have to offer is enough. Maybe it is not about our offering but rather our availability. If we are willing to give ourselves regardless of who we are or what we have, then we might open ourselves for something to happen. Despite being in the same school and class, my childhood friend and I did not have a lot in common. He was from a well off family and I was from the working class. We lived in different neighborhoods. He had his own circle of friends who were very different from mine. However, he was available to me and I was to him. Then a miracle occurred. We became eternally united in our souls. Likewise, Maxwell came from a world which gave him very little reason to smile or laugh. He suffered from malnutrition which stunted his growth. Despite all this, he availed himself. At first, only to a limited group. Then he opened himself to us. He was able to smile in our presence. We are grateful to God for this moment. It may not seem much to the outside world. For us, it was a miracle. Now, this is how we will remember Maxwell.

This last Monday made me feel a little impoverished. However, it doesn’t mean that I have nothing to offer. I will always have five loaves to spare and for Jesus, this will suffice to create eternal bonds within our souls.

R.I.P. Maxwell and Warren

Grant Thy eternal rest unto these thy children, O Lord and let Thy perpetual Light shine upon them.

Jesus put before the crowds another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” Matthew 13:31-32

Felipe wanted me to remind him again what exactly is a parable. I lost count of the number of times I have done this. Neuroscience tells us that we learn by repetition. Felipe is on the right track. He needs to hear it explained several times before he can fully grasp it. However, each time I feel less and less confident of my own answers. I used to think I knew exactly what a parable was. Now, Felipe is changing all this. I gave him an answer but I wasn’t quite sure if it was satisfactory. It is good to have someone like him around. He challenges me to rethink about what I know and what I don’t know. I realized that if I cannot explain it clearly, then it is possible that I might not totally comprehend it. Thanks to Felipe, I am beginning to think that I am not as smart as I once thought.

The subject of the parables came up because of a new bible we gave him. I met him in the streets to hand it over to him. He wanted to read our bible study passage before our regular meeting on Sunday. He also informed me that Bruno was around. He was working on getting his identity card. It appears, according to Felipe. that Bruno is having doubts about staying with his new-found family. I wasn’t surprised. Bruno has been living in the streets for almost fifteen years. Until recently, he had no memory of his sister and wasn’t even aware of the existence of his other three siblings. They were all strangers to him. It would be expecting too much of Bruno to adapt to his new environment immediately. Felipe had arranged with Bruno to meet with us.

Bruno was at his usual spot begging. While we were together, many people walked by and commented that they missed seeing him. He has left his mark in the lives of these people. He had a new haircut which made him look more handsome than before. He seem to emanate an aura of confidence and peace or maybe this was just my impression. There is no such thing as small talk with the homeless youth. They always get straight to the point after the initial, “Hi!”. He blurted out that he wasn’t going to stay with his family for long. I think that he wanted to see my reaction. The three of us sat down together and talked. It was quite pleasant. In another time and another place, people would think that we were three bank robbers planing a heist. There we were wearing masks and talking intensely with a space between us big enough to fit a table. Instead we had Felipe’s cat in the middle which Bruno needed for his setup as a beggar. However, this time, when people came by, he did tell them that this is his friend’s cat. Once upon a time the animal was used as a ploy to gain sympathy from the people. Now, it is a gateway for them to strike up a conversation with him.

We talked together for a long time. It was one of the rare moments where everyone contributed together and there was truly a sense of a creative bond taking place in our hearts. Bruno started out with an interesting statement, “I don’t want live a lie anymore!” He asserted that he wants to assume his true age. He has been 21 for the past 8 years or so. Now, he wants to be who is he. He also admitted that he liked living in the street. He has grown accustomed to it. It is where he was learned to love and discover love. This would have sounded strange to me a few years ago. Maybe, Bruno would not have told this to me back then. Now, things have changed. I am not really sure what has changed. It is not something that is easy to pinpoint. In a way, all of us have changed. We are able to listen to each other and appreciate each other’s experience. More importantly, there was no more need to pretend. Felipe and Bruno can be honest with us now.

 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” Matthew 13:45-46

Felipe added that there are many bad things in the streets but they also discovered many good things too. I can appreciate this. It is our nature to survive in any given situation regardless of the circumstances. Our children and youth find themselves abandoned in the streets and need something good to cling onto in order to endure the hardship. In many ways, the friends they met in the streets are the precious pearls making life bearable for them. Bruno quickly added that despite all the negative experiences, they also learn to depend on God in the streets. They sense God’s protection and love in a profound way. I think that this is becoming clearer to them. Their spirituality is one which is formulated through their experiences in the streets. They discovered love in unlikely places and they attribute God for opening their eyes to see His Love always close to them. For most of us, our spirituality is derived from doctrines we learn in a comfortable and safe environment. Perhaps, we occasionally sense God’s presence when we are faced with a crisis. Then we go on with life allocating God to a tiny space in our daily life. These homeless youth need God’s presence to survive in all aspects.

One thing is for sure, these young men were not romanticizing life in the streets. They have been physically and verbally abused too many times by the police and ill-willed people to sustain such a fantasy. However, they are survivors and they attribute their survival to God’s presence in their lives. Bruno doesn’t usually express his spirituality openly like this. Actually, we hardly talked in this open manner for such a prolonged period like this before the pandemic. Back then there was always a deck of cards in the middle of us where the cat is sleeping now. We would be chatting as we played a game. Now, we have dispensed with games, our conversations have become more profound. They feel comfortable to share their thoughts about their spirituality and doubts and just about life in general. It has been a long journey to get here. We have grown together. Mary and I came here as foreign missionaries and these young people were homeless children and teens. We were two separate units. Now, we are gathered together as one in His Name. This is the Kingdom of God where there is an openness creating an eternal bond in our souls. It started out like a seed the Holy Spirit planted in our heart with a hope that one day these young people will realize their personal beauty and uniqueness. In these young people, God sowed a seed to receive us despite our strange accents and differences in age. Today, all of us sit under the shade of the tree that grew out of this seed. We can be honest and truly appreciate each others journey in discovering the wealth of the God’s love and grace.

Bruno reemphasized that he wasn’t going to stay long at his family’s home. It wasn’t because he did not like them. He is a stranger in his own family. He called his sister to share his dilemma. He wanted to make sure that they knew that he wasn’t rejecting them. She responded graciously and told him that their doors will be always open for him. I reassured Bruno that the regardless of his decision, he has come out of all this richer than before. Now, he has a family that he never had before. He wanted to share something strange that happened to him before he ended his conversation with his sister. He told her, “I love you!” He said that it was genuine statement. He said that he felt good saying these words. He never thought in his wildest dreams that he would have ever say it to his sister in this life time.

And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he replied, ‘No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’” Matthew 13:27-30

This week, Bruno told us his actual age. I don’t think he has actually verbalized this before to anyone. It has always been a secret. Everyone knew that he was older than he claimed. He concealed his age not because of vanity but rather more out of fear. Bruno was afraid to grow old. By no means, he was not one of those infant adults. That’s a middle class phenomenon. Bruno was never privileged. He sleeps in the streets and begs to survive. For him, revealing his age means he has to assume something about himself. Something painful. He wasn’t ready to go there yet.

Bruno did not run away to the streets because he wanted to be homeless. Like the other children and teens, he came here in search of something. This mysterious thing which would give them a better life. Unfortunately, none of them could articulate exactly the nature of this “thing” which they desperately seek. It is different for each one. Truly, this is the tragic dilemma of all our children and teens. Despite this, they still hold on to the hope that one day they will be able to find it. They believe that it is going to give them the courage to embrace life in its fullness. Until then, the streets and drugs are the best option. Occasionally, someone from their ranks discovers it. They feel happy for him because it enforces their hope. They see him grow and flourish. Perhaps some might feel a little envious but not in a bad way. They just wish that they can find out what it is exactly that they are seeking. Interestingly, they don’t despair. They know that if they wait long enough, it will come. Until this happens, they are paralysed spiritually. Many see them in this state and consider all these children and teens to be just weeds of society. They don’t produce anything that perpetuates life. Many would have considered Bruno to be a weed. However, this week, Bruno told us his true age which means he found something. Now, he has the courage to embrace life.

He is 30 years old. For the past 8 years we have known him, he has always been stagnant at the age of 21. Throughout this time, Bruno presented himself as someone was settled in his role in the streets as homeless. Sometimes he would talk to a kind stranger and claim that he was seeking information about his estranged family members. Some people would get excited about this, believing they had found a concrete way to help him. Then when nothing came to fruition, they would just whither away. Their lack of success was mainly because Bruno never gave them the correct information like his age. However, in one of these occasions, the person who heard this story decided to film Bruno and post it on a social media platform with an appeal to locate his family. This was a year ago and nothing came out of it. Neither did Bruno pursue the matter.

Last week Felipe left a message on my phone. He said that some people came by looking for Bruno claiming to be his brothers and sister. We knew that he had a younger sister. He told us that his only memory of his family was that they left him at an orphanage and went home without him. The scene is etched into his soul. He did not remember anything else about his mother nor sister beside this, not even their names. Now, he has two other siblings that he never knew existed. Felipe told me that he wasn’t sure if Bruno would leave the streets with them. To be honest, I had my doubts too. They came back twice to the streets before they found him. We waited anxiously to hear how the reunion went and then I received a phone call from one of the teens. He said, “Bruno is no longer in the streets.”

I am still not sure if Bruno will stay. The change is quite drastic. He has been in the streets for fourteen years and living without a family since he was five. All these changes could be overwhelming for him. It is not impossible that he would stay. We hope he will be able do it. However, regardless of what happens, his life is now radically changed. He spent all his life thinking that he was alone and forgotten in this world. Perhaps, this was what he feared he had to accept as the utter truth in order to become a full adult. He knows that we think highly of him. Not only us, even some of the teens especially Felipe always considered Bruno to be a close and intimate friend. However, there was something deep in Bruno that needed to be healed. The very fact that his brothers and sister came looking for him and opened their home to him brought the much needed reconciliation. When we spoke to him, he sounded at peace with everything. All was forgiven and now he is freed from the burden carried in his soul for years. Maybe he won’t stay long with his family or maybe he will. This is not important. It is good to know that Bruno now has overcome the obstacle that was stifling his personal growth. He needed to know that he was abandoned in the orphanage not because something that was inherently wrong with him. It was just an unfortunate state of the world.

Our conversation was frequently disrupted because of a bad connection. However, before we hung up, Bruno wanted to say something to us. He wanted us to know he appreciated the fact that we called him and still desired to be in contact with him. He said that many people come and go in his life. Most of them just see him as a homeless young man and take pity on him. The fact that we called meant that we considered him as a friend and desired to have contact with him regardless of his situation. I was quite amazed how much a simple phone call could convey to him. Honestly, we called because we were happy that Bruno found his family and we wanted him to know that we are rooting for him. He called back a few days later and asked us to visit him when this pandemic is under control.

I never realized this, but the children and teens are unsure which of the people who claim to help them are weeds or wheat. Some churches go to the streets and feed the children regularly. However, not without taking tons of pictures to put on their website. In the end, they just meet an immediate need in the children without helping them sense that they are more than just mere homeless youth. Some groups are in the streets because it is their job. Some are there because they think that it is their religious obligation. However, they never see the children and teens as anything but homeless children. We like to imagine ourselves as being different but you know our minds can play tricks on us. After all, no weed thinks of itself as a weed. We might be a weed without knowing it. The ones who know which ones of us are weeds or wheat are the ones whom we serve. Bruno blessed us by saying that at least to him, we are wheat. As for us, he has always been wheat in our lives for many years.

“Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13: 18-23

I thought everyone knew this parable but I was wrong. I assumed too much. I thought that Felipe, Daniel, and Bruno have had similar experiences as I have had as a child. You know, being woken up early on Sunday, made to wear nice but strangely uncomfortable clothes and listening to the stories of the gospels told in a fashion that children could comprehend and coloring their illustrations on paper. It is easy to forget that they never really had homes, special clothes, or even concerned parents. Consequently, they never participated all these various aspects of our culture that we might take for granted. Their exposure to religion consisted of bits and pieces from the street preaching more concerned about hell than anything else.

We read the parable of the sower together with Felipe once. I started out saying that usually most of us are concerned with being the good soil. Then, Felipe surprised us. He told us that he has never heard of this parable before. He did not understand its meaning let alone the final bit about the good soil. Even the notion of a “parable” was a mystery to him. I guess discerning the different literary genres and sub-genres is not the top of the priority list of the homeless youth. Now, he is in a different place. He is feeling secure about himself. He is ready to embark on a journey of discovering all the good things the world has to offer. He wanted to know what exactly is a parable. To my surprise, I found myself fumbling around trying to find the precise words to explain its meaning. It wasn’t as easy as I thought.

I told him that it is a simple story using everyday things to explain a truth or a moral value. Then I realized why Felipe was confused with the parable of the sower. He spent all his life in the concrete jungle. His contact with nature is very limited. He has never had a father or uncle or grandfather that was into gardening like most of us. In fact, I am the first person he knows who cultivates plants. The concepts of good and bad soil does not resonate with him. As far as he is concern, they are all the same. Basically, all the imagery used in the parable was meaningless to him. Nevertheless, he was keen on knowing its meaning. I thought that it was my role to explain it to him. Unfortunately, my attempt bordered on being pathetic. I resorted to the traditional interpretation. As soon as I gave the answer, I realized that it was a mere automated response void of any reflection. The problem is that I assumed too much. The parable was indeed more difficult and complex than I initially thought. Felipe was kind enough to pretend that he understood my explanation. However, I have known him long enough to discern the signs of comprehension in his expressions.

Upon a closer reflection, I realized that there was many things that are unclear in this parable. The seed, for example, Jesus explains is the word of the Kingdom. Over the years, this has been reduced to doctrines and official teachings of the Church. However, none of these things were in existence when Jesus taught. Besides, the seed was suppose to be dynamic and produce a creative reaction in the soil. Over the years, I have seen that it is possible to accept dynamic doctrines without generating any life-giving fruits. This, of course, brings up a second problem. Jesus mentions the good soil bearing much fruits. Anyone concerned about this parable always desires to be this kind of soil. Unfortunately, many churches have defined fruits according to their doctrines too. For many years, I was convinced that it meant bringing souls into the Kingdom. However, we don’t bring anyone into the Kingdom of God. It is never an ability bestowed upon us. Only the Holy Spirit is able to illume souls with the divine knowledge of God’s love. Our words and arguments are powerless without the Holy Spirit. If anything, they can be a distraction. I have also been taught that bearing fruits means producing without any clear idea what production means. I suppose that it means religious works or charitable works. The Pharisees were good at doing such things and yet Jesus said that they were barren, actually he even mentions something much worse such as being a “child of hell.” Being productive religiously may not necessarily mean that we are being fruitful.

Every weekend, we meet with Felipe in a square near where we both live. We read the Bible together and talk about what it means and have a short prayer time. In other words, it is our church service. It is a little different than what we are used to but it is a gathering of two or three in His Name. I have to say that it is one of my best congregations. After writing this, we will meet with Felipe. It is going to be my second chance to share this parable in a way that it connects with him. For him, the thing that he understands the best is relationship. It was the only wealth he possessed in the streets. It helped him overcome many hardships and feeling of abandonment. He perceives the world through his relationships. They are his teachers, his church and his everything. In reality, this is true for all of us too but sometimes we allow other things to confuse us. Felipe possesses nothing but relationships in this world. If he is going to understand anything truth, it has to be presented in the context of a relationship.

The seed is none other than our Lord offering Himself to us. God does not impose Himself on anyone but He offers Himself in doses that we are able to handle. Some people are given the opportunity to meet Him. Maybe He comes to them through a person that displeases them. They reject Him without giving a second thought. There are others who receive Him and then don’t bother to go further with the relationship. They enjoy the idea of meeting Jesus in whatever form He represents Himself. However, they never go beyond the superficial to truly enjoy the wealth that is found in Him. Then there are others who receive Him but they think that they can serve both God and Mammon. Eventually, the latter takes priority over the former. Finally, there are the ones who receive Him readily without any conditions. They don’t expect Him to act in their favor always. They just accept Him as He presents Himself. They are always open to see Him present in anyway or anyone whom He chooses to manifest Himself. With time, they are able to discern His presence in the lives of the other as they make themselves available to others. Their lives become richer and they make the lives of others around richer too. They may never produce as the world thinks a productive person should be. Nevertheless, everyone who meets them cannot help but feel that something new has been created in their souls.

I think Felipe will understand this because each Sunday when we meet with and pray with him. We go home feeling something new has been created in our innermost being. I recently wrote to a friend mentioning this very interesting detail. We came here initially to minister to these homeless children and teens but, in the end, we are the ones who go home each day richer than ever. Albeit, I can’t say that this is true for all of them. I don’t want to paint a romanticized picture of reality here. There are all kinds of soil among the homeless but when you meet with good soil like Felipe or Bruno or Daniel or Aline, you cannot leave without feeling enriched.

It is almost time for church now. Our congregation of one is waiting for us at our usual place. I can’t wait to read this parable with Felipe.

Bruno has matured as a beggar. It is not that he has become better asking for money. He never had any problems in that department. After all, he is a highly intelligent young man. Among all the teens, he is the best at begging. He always receives more than he needs and shares it around. He also receives tons of clothes which he never refuses but he never seems to use. He used to keep some of them in our house and then eventually forgot them altogether. Now, he gives them away to families living in the streets. He has developed an excellent technique for begging.

He loves movies but not just any movies; only the ones that have been nominated for the Oscars. He cites the winners since the fifties by memory. He likes to tell people that his favorite movie is “Sophie’s Choice”. This usually takes them by surprise. They never expect a homeless youth to like a movie of this calibre. His general knowledge on literature is not too bad. He likes to say that Mark Twain is his favorite even though he has never read anything by him. It never fails to impress people. He is not exactly lying. He really is interested in these things but not enough to pursue them more profoundly. He is happy to just to talk about it enough for people to see beyond his old and worn out clothes covered with food stains and unkept hair. He looks like he hasn’t seen the inside of shower for weeks. However, the other teens tell us that he washes his clothes regularly and takes daily showers. It is true. He does not emit any unpleasant odor. His look is deliberate. He knows that people are enchanted with a certain idea of a beggar. Therefore he plays the role they desire to see. It is his only way to become more visible. However, Bruno did not always dress or act this way.

Bruno used to dress up like a college student so we were told. He wore a polo shirt and long pants and carried a folder with his note book. He made every effort to look studious. Unfortunately, despite all his efforts, his appearance never gave him any visibility. No one took notice of him outside of our children. Besides, a well dressed black Brazilian living in the streets also draws the attention of the police. They always assume that the well-dressed ones are involved in crime. It seemed there was nothing Bruno could do to be visible.

He was put in an orphanage when he was six. His mother was too poor and had to make painful choice. She chose his sister over him. It is a choice that Bruno never forgot. It is story not unlike the movie, “Sophie’s Choice”. It killed something in Bruno. No doubt, he liked the orphanage. He really took advantage of the education he received there. Unfortunately, he knew that he would have to leave when he turned 18. By then, he had enough of rejections in his life. This time he decided to leave before he faced another. This is how he ended up in the streets.

He always tried to fit in. His mind was always actively learning about things to perhaps help him gain some recognition. Unfortunately, no one was interested in a homeless black teen who looked like a college student. He found out that the best way for him to survive in the streets was to become a beggar. He set his mind to this task. He observed other beggars and discovered that those who had pets drew more attention and subsequently more money. He adopted a dog and cat. He would sit outside a restaurant and supermarket with a book in his hand. This was enough to draw anyone’s attention. Suddenly, Bruno was visible in this world. He found out that in this tragic world, being a beggar is the best role afforded to him.

Bruno used to be extremely manipulative. Initially, people were more interested in the animals than in him. It seems this society is accustomed to young black youths living in the streets but not animals. They asked questions about the animals that looked extremely healthy and happy. The dog, incidentally, was rescued by the teens. It almost drowned in the canal when the teens risked their lives to save it. Felipe and Bruno took care of it for a long time. Bruno also rescued the kitten abandoned near a busy highway.

People were more concerned about the welfare of the animals than Bruno’s. Of course, being an intelligent person, he exploited the situation. He always managed to scrounge some money off almost everyone who stopped to pat the animals. Sometimes, it was quite embarrassing for us to see how he shamelessly took advantage of people. To a certain extent, it put a strain on our relationship for a short period. This was a few years ago. Like I said before, Bruno has matured as a beggar.

The years of being invisible has made Bruno sensible to people who are invisible like him. However, they may not be living in the streets. They live in apartments but they are no longer deemed important by society. These are the elderly people who once were mothers, grandmothers and even business owners. Now, they are discarded because of their age and illness or their incapability to do things that they once did very well. Once again, the animals are the point of contact between Bruno and these people.

When I visited Bruno in the streets last week, there was an elderly woman talking with him. He immediately wanted to introduce me to this woman. She was a little shy and hardly spoke to me. Bruno later told me that she comes to him and talks to him quite frequently. She is quite elderly, maybe in her late eighties and lives on a limited income. No one cares for her, Bruno said. He receives nothing from her except her undivided attention and he returns the favor. He looks forward to her visit everyday even if it is for only few minutes. Another elderly woman came by with cooked food for the dog and another plate of food for Bruno. She is another new friend that he just recently made. She lives alone too. She saw Bruno begging from her apartment window and went down to talk with him. She could not afford to give anything except what she makes for lunch. She always comes to have a chat with Bruno. Another woman came by and talked to him when I was there. She asked about the animals and before she left, Bruno stopped her and told her that he was grateful for her attention. The woman was obviously touched. This time Bruno wasn’t trying to be manipulative. He genuinely was thankful for her presence without expecting any monetary benefits.

There is something more sincere about Bruno now. He is making himself available to people who are just like him; the invisible ones. It is not a one way relationship. They are mutually blessed. Bruno is a beggar but he has become richer in ways very few people will realize. Perhaps only to those who are able to see beyond the young man begging there. He has definitely changed. I hope that one day he can find something better. It is a pity that such an intelligent young man like Bruno should resign himself to this role. He confessed that he hopes the same. This is not the lifestyle for anyone. In spite of this, he has discovered how to be available to people for whom no one has time to appreciate. Bruno went into begging to earn money but he ended up learning something valuable that most so-called well to do people never learn. I thank God for Bruno and not only him but the other children and teens like Felipe and Daniel for their availability. They open themselves up to receive others and in the end, they receive God’s abundant grace in their lives. It helps me understand the profound words of Jesus when He said,

“I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”-Matthew 11:25-26