Ministry to Children

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Limited Space

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. And there was a man named Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector, and rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not, on account of the crowd, because he was small of stature. So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, make haste and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” -Luke 19:1-5

The children like this story. It is a story to which they can easily relate. They identify themselves with Zacchaeus. At first glance, it is hard to see the connection. The man in the story was wealthy and corrupt. He did not lack anything materially. Our children are homeless. They sleep under a bridge. They don’t have any possessions. Besides all these differences, they see something in Zacchaeus reminds them of themselves. Many of us may not want to identify ourselves with him. We prefer to think that we are better than him. For most of us, this story is an example of the power of God’s grace. We liken the person of Zacchaeus to that of a drug dealer, or a politician standing for Presidential election or someone we would like to easily allocate into the cesspool of objectionable personality. However, our children see a complex human being in Zacchaeus not unlike themselves.

We know how this story ends, even our children are very familiar with it. We tend to focus on the ending and ignore some interesting details in the story. The author of the gospel saw that it was important that we knew about Zacchaeus’ physical stature. His small stature wasn’t a physical ailment or some other impairment that warrants special attention. It was just something that helps to give an insight into Zacchaeus’ personality. The gospel wants us to go beyond the superficial assessment of a person in society. It requires to question why a person is the way he or she is. The story tells that, because of his height, Zacchaeus could not participate in the event of the day; the arrival of Jesus in Jericho. Even though he possessed wealth and power as a tax collector, it did not give him privy to the one of the most important events of the city. He was an outsider and most likely had always been an outsider. No one cared that Zacchaeus couldn’t see Jesus. In fact, no one cared if he existed or not. This must have been the story of his life. He was alone and had to make his way in this world. He chose the wrong way to do it. He was ruthless and unkind. He stole from people and the flaunted his wealth. People began to notice him. They despised him but he apparently did not mind this as long as they were forced to acknowledge his existence.

The more we get to know our children the easier it becomes for us to see the connection between Zacchaeus and them. The thing that brings them to the streets is not poverty; it does have a small contributing role but it is not the major reason. Our children don’t mind being poor. They can adapt to it. However, they do mind being neglected and ignored. They don’t demand too much attention but they want to know that their existence is important to someone. Most of them have suffered a trauma which caused them to flee to the streets. It is not even the tragic circumstance itself that brought to the streets. It is the unfortunate fact that no one cared enough to notice or help them through their traumatic experience. They take refuge in the streets hoping that someone will notice them. Those who engage in criminal activities don’t do so because of survival. They can have food and clothing without stealing. They can even buy drugs with the money they get from begging. However, people only notice their existence when they steal. People only think of the homeless children when they do something negative. Most of the time, they are invisible because they occupy such a small space in their lives or society just the like the man of small stature in the story from the gospel.

Zacchaeus was hidden from the crowd but Jesus noticed him anyway. This was a dream come true for him. He did not need to do anything to be acknowledged. Jesus knew him by name and broke bread in his household. The people despised the fact that Jesus wasted his time and energy on this person. People liked to crowd around the person of Jesus. They often spoke of Him. Unfortunately most of them hardly understood what He came to do. He came to look for those whom we want to forget in society. In this story, it was a wealthy man; in others, this person was a forgotten widow or a homeless beggar. They come from different social backgrounds but they share a common trait. All of them occupy a small place in the hearts and minds of people, so small that it is easy to forget that they exist. Most of the time, people don’t even think that they deserve God’s grace. Strangely, God chooses these people to help understand the meaning and immensity of His grace. However, if we choose to remain in our hatred and apathy, then we won’t be able to see or appreciate it.

Zacchaeus had been taking from people all his life. He found his identity in possessing things aggressively. However, now he discovered that this was unnecessary. He changed. He became a giver.

One remarkable change in our relationship with the children over the past few months is the fact that they are beginning to offer things to us. Usually it is some simple snacks. They have done this before as a courteous gesture but now there is a subtle difference. They offer us things that they buy with their own money. They even insist that we take it when we politely refuse. They want us to have something of theirs. They don’t want our relationship to be one-sided. They want it to become a mutual relationship. They want to be generous with us. This is a sign of genuine spiritual transformation; generosity always begets generosity.

Zacchaeus experienced God’s generosity and he could not help but become generous himself. However, he did not try to give to Jesus anything. There was nothing he could offer Him that would measure up to what he had received. Jesus had given Zacchaeus his existence. He realized that even though the world around him had ignored him all his life, Jesus knew him by name. No amount of money or power could compensate for this gift he had just received. The only thing he could do was to follow the example of Jesus. He gave to those who couldn’t reciprocate and he also undid the wrong he had done in his life. He had spent his life taking and now it was time to give.

There are Zacchaeus all around us. Some are rich and powerful and some are poor and isolated. They are people whom we like to forget. However, they are not different from us. They are just like us trying to find a place in this world. They are just like us trying to find a reason to justify our existence. The only difference perhaps is that they are more aware of their anonymity in this world then the rest of us. God chose Zacchaeus to show that even though you are despised and hated by the world, this does not disqualify one from God’s grace. The children understand this valuable lesson. They are glad that Jesus chose to dine at Zacchaeus’ home. It gives them hope. It gives us hope as well.

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The Weak and the Strong

The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”-Luke 18:11-14

A fight had broken out. We were in the middle of it literally. Ruan and Alex were fighting where we were sitting. We were unintentionally the cause of the fight. Alex was being difficult and he used some foul language. Ruan confronted him. He thought that it was inappropriate to use that kind of language in our presence. The next thing we knew they were throwing punches at each other. Ruan is only 14 but he is almost twice Alex’s size who is two years older. Things went from bad to worse. Alex emotionally disintegrated right before our very eyes. His face turned red and tears flowed profusely. We pleaded with them to stop but their passions had taken control of them completely. Before anything could be done, a punch landed on Alex’s face and he lost his balance. His head hit the steps. Blood started to ooze out a gash just above his right eye. Alex became hysterical at this point. He was screaming away at Ruan and was wailing like a two year old. Ruan just sat down in silence.

Alex went to the side of the cathedral and sat there alone. He couldn’t stop crying and he then laid down on his side. To make matters worse, he started to hyperventilate. He looked like he was going into shock. We tried to calm him but he was inconsolable. Ruan became remorseful for his actions and came over to apologize. However, Alex was not in the right frame of mind to accept anything from anyone. We began to get worried. It seems like he needed medical attention, and then he slowly started to breathe normally. Throughout this time, Ruan sat behind him and said that he was sorry. Alex continued to bleed from his wound but he refused any first aid from us. He stood up and walked away in a daze. We remained at the steps. Our minds were reeling from the whole incident. We have never seen any of our children or teens break down in this manner before. We have never seen them in such a vulnerable and fragile state.

All it took was a simple altercation. It is something that happens on a daily basis in the streets. Everyday we walk by people fighting over the silliest things. Maybe it sounds strange to some readers but it is the reality in the streets here. Alex navigates in this world daily. He always appeared to be comfortable in this environment. Maybe he believed that he was immune to the violence until a punch landed on his face. The aggression revealed to him that he was just as fragile as anyone. Perhaps it was too much for him and he couldn’t handle it. For us, it was heart breaking scene. We saw a teenager revert to the young lonely child. We had a glimpse of the hidden frighten child in the teenage body of Alex. There was nothing we could do or say that would help Alex.

There is something in us that wants to show the world that we are strong and better than others. This was the basis for the fight between the boys. In the end, the only thing that was obvious was how weak we are as human beings. We stood and watched Alex in tears and broken emotionally. There was hardly anything we could do to make it better. Ruan has physical strength and sometimes he does things to appear like a bully. In reality, he has a tender heart. He wants to be a good person but ends up doing things that hurt others like Alex. He is unable to do the good he so desperately wants to do. Alex wanted to show everyone that no one can push him around. The only thing he managed to reveal to the world was how fragile he really is.

The Pharisee in the above parable wanted to believe that he was better than the tax collector. He thought that he was stronger than the tax collector who has succumbed to the temptations of life. Unfortunately, in his attempt to show off his strengths, he ended up revealing that he was much worse. The tax collector showed the better way. He acknowledged his utter weakness. Maybe because he did not have much of a choice. Society had already condemned him for being a traitor. His weakness and vulnerabilities were open for everyone to see and judge. In a strange way, this involuntary exposure of his personal and moral frailties made him open to receive something better and greater. It has given him the wisdom to discover a different and a more lasting and powerful source of strength.

We saw Alex and Ruan a few days later. They were talking and joking around together. Ruan came up to us and said that we were late. We were not. We arrived at our usual time. Ruan and Alex were early. They usually show up later in the day. There was something different about them. Ruan was more affectionate. Alex approached Mary and started telling her about things that happened to him over the weekend. There was a tenderness in the way they interacted with us. I think it has something to do with being vulnerable. The fight was a simple altercation in the eyes of many. However, the Holy Spirit transformed it into an encounter where all our frailties were revealed. It has given us the courage to admit that we are weak and now we are ready to discover our true strength in the redeeming power of God’s love. Perhaps this is why the boys were not afraid to share their love and affection with us. They no longer needed to pretend to be tough. They just needed to be themselves. The strength will come from the One who is truly strong.

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Eternal Answers

And Jesus said, “And will not God grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long in helping them? I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them. And yet, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”- Luke 18:7-8

I want to start with Boethius. No, it’s not a name of a teenager in the streets. He was a philosopher from the sixth century. I always begin my reflection with an encounter in the streets. Today, I want to take a step back. I am going to someone furthest away from our reality. Boethius is from a time and culture completely different from our reality. Yet, I believe that he has something relevant to say to us and even our children living in the streets.

I encountered Boethius for first time in his book, the Consolation of Philosophy. It was an involuntary introduction. It was required reading for Medieval Philosophy. Recently, I had a reunion with him. I purchased his book again. It wasn’t for any particular reason except for the fact that it was on sale. Capitalism helped me revisit Boethius and I am glad for it.

The book is not an academic treatise on philosophy. It is a reflection of a man who was faced with an uncertain future. It was a question of life and death. He was imprisoned unjustly and his fate depended on the whims of an unreliable and corrupt king. His life until this point had been quite stable and prosperous and now everything dissipated with the looming possibility of a painful and humiliating death. Boethius needed to find solace in this chaos. This book is the result. Strangely, as I was reading the parable of the unjust judge quoted above, this book came to my mind. Jesus said that God answered prayers swiftly. God answered Boethius’ prayer for justice swiftly but in the way many would not have hoped.

Boethius was trying to understand the question of evil and good, God’s timing and his timing, fate and destiny, and why bad things happen to good people. Questions that drown our hearts and minds when we are faced with an existential crisis. He did not resort to simple religious formulas. He faced difficult issues boldly. He was persistent to discover the Truth or God’s justice in this case, just like the old woman in the parable when she confronted the unjust judge. Perhaps, the major difference was that Boethius did not believe that he had to keeping insisting on an answer. He wasn’t questioning a corrupt judge. He was having a dialogue with Lady Wisdom. He was confident that he would receive the answers at the right time. He did and perhaps they helped to face his imminent death with tranquility.

Boethius was executed immediately after the completion of this work. His death was slow and painful. Many would say that he never received the swift justice that Jesus promised in the quote above. However, we need faith to understand God’s justice. For many in the world, God was silent in Boethius’ case. It is because they have a concept of justice which is superficial and worldly. Boethius has been gone for more than thousand years and yet he is remembered. His greatest work was the one he produced in the last moments of his life. The people who played a role in this unjust trial are nothing but names today. No one remembers them. Their lives have no influence today. Boethius, on the other, still speaks to us today. A boy in the streets once asked us about life and death and suffering. I remember talking about Boethius and his concept of eternity. What he had to say about the subject were simple but it’s profundity is still discussed today. The young man I spoke to was able to grasp what I shared about eternity. It brought it some comfort to his soul. He had just a lost a dear friend when he asked this question.

The most powerful words of the parable from Luke are the final ones. Jesus ended the parable with a question; will the Son of Man find faith in this world when He returns? I have heard and read this parable since I was a young lad. I had always focused on the judge. I missed the point. I confused God with the judge. I thought that it was necessary to keep insisting with God until He gave in and answered my prayers. I am not alone in this. There are churches that have built their theology of prayer based on this. We treat God as if he is an unreasonable bureaucrat who will only answer our request when we dot the i’s and cross the t’s. Jesus was representing a different picture. He was teaching via negativa. God is nothing like the judge or us for that matter.

This is more consistent with the other teachings on prayers;

“..your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”-Matthew 6:8

On one occasion, Jesus taught;

“What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”- Luke 11:11-16

If anything, Jesus reveals to us that we do not need to twist God’s arm to attend to our prayers. He is always willing and swift to answer our prayers. The problem lies not in God but whether we are able to discern God’s response. Sometimes we ask the wrong things from God and we don’t get the answer we want. Job wanted God to give him a satisfactory answer to the perennial question,“why do bad things happen to good people?” The story ends with a different answer, one more pertinent to the nature of God. We often ask God for something contrary to His nature and we don’t get an answer.

Our children in the streets beg all the time. In theory, they beg because they need money for food but in reality, they want to buy drugs. They can get food for free whereas drugs cost money. They never beg from us. Even if they do, it is usually done in jest. They know our answer. They know that we know how they use their money. Most importantly, they know that we have a different kind of relationship. Occasionally, a new arrival to the streets will ask us for some spare change. It doesn’t take long for them to realize that they will receive nothing from us in terms of money. Some will close themselves to us and our relationship will end there and then. There are others that will figure out that our refusal to succumb to their pecuniary demands is due to the fact that we are willing to offer something more valuable and enduring. If they are willing to wait around and get to know us, they will discover what we want to give to them.

Boethius wrote the Consolation of Philosophy when he knew that he could be facing a slow torturous death. I am sure that he prayed for justice. God answered his prayer. He did not allow Boethius’ enemies get what they wanted. They wanted the memory of his life to be completely erased. Instead, his imprisonment contributed to his name being remembered till today. Our fears are mostly based on being forgotten. The greatest injustice is being treated as if one does not exist. We don’t want to be forgotten and considered irrelevant. Sickness and death are the inevitable things in life that threaten our very existence. Most of our desperate prayers stem out of these situations. The widow in the parable refused to be forgotten and the corrupt judge conceded to her pleas. God is nothing like the unjust judge. He does not forget us. The problem is whether we trust Him enough to know that He will remember us.

The parable tells us that the woman got what she wanted because she was willing to wait. In our relationship with God, we don’t have to convince God to do what is just. We just have to wait. Waiting is trusting. We don’t wait for justice because of the eloquence of our prayers. We wait for justice because our God is a good God. However, God’s justice is not to be confused with giving us what we want. His justice is giving what is really and truly important to us.

Justice was given to Boethius even though he died. The world would say that he had based on his life on a false hope. They have eyes but they do not see and ears but they do not hear. They think of justice purely on materialistic principles. Our faith should help us to understand reality in terms of eternity. It is something that only could be understood by faith. It is no wonder that the major truss of the Consolation of Philosophy is on the concept of eternity. God answers our prayers swiftly. The response is understood in terms of eternity. We need faith to see this. This why Jesus asked the question, will He find faith on earth when He returns?

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The Joy of Being An Unworthy Servant

“Will any one of you, who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep, say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down at table’? Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and gird yourself and serve me, till I eat and drink; and afterward you shall eat and drink’? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that is commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’”- Luke 17:7-10

These are tough words for a modern world.

Just listening to the words, “unworthy servant” and “duty” sounds oppressive and manipulative. It sounds like a recipe for disaster. It is enough to send anyone running away from Jesus and Christianity. Once again, the gospel proves itself that it is serious about the Truth. If it wasn’t, these verses wouldn’t be it. There is nothing apparently positive and joyous to say about these verses. However, it is still the gospel. The good news still embedded in these tough words. We cannot just ignore and discard them. They have something powerful to say to us. Perhaps even more so in this modern culture in which we find ourselves.

We live in a world that is starving for compliments. They represent recognition and honor to us. However, we don’t like it when others receive them instead of us. It seems to provoke feelings of jealousy in most of us. I remember song in the eighties by a British musician, Morrissey, called, “We hate it when our friends become successful.” It might as well be the secret anthem of many people like myself in our private thoughts. I am not sure if compliments and recognition create unity but I am sure that they generate a spirit of competition within us. Maybe this is their purpose in this world. They exploit the weaknesses of people and make them work harder against each other.

The words of Jesus are meant to liberate us from the world of competitiveness where we must try to prove ourselves better than others. They help us to see the Truth about ourselves. We are “unworthy servants”. It sounds harsh but the Truth is grounded in Love and meant to liberate us from lies. It is a lie that we can prove our worth because we are unworthy. However, this doesn’t hinder God from choosing us to be His servants.

Every Thursday, there is a kind and devout man who goes to the cathedral for the afternoon mass. He comes up to us without fail and shakes our hands and tells us what a wonderful work we are doing in the streets. Most of the time, he does this in the presence of our children. We usually feel a little awkward and embarrassed mainly because we know in our hearts that we don’t deserve his compliments. There is something wonderful happening in our midst. However, there is nothing that we can honestly take credit for. It was God who made this into a reality for us. This is God’s project that He has allowed us to participate in. We could not have even said, “Yes” to God if it wasn’t for His grace. We are here because of His grace. The so-called success of our time in the street does not depend on us alone. It also depends on the children and teens. They make the choice to spend time with us. We cannot be there doing anything worthwhile if there is no one to participate in our activities. The children and teens are just as gracious and generous with their time as we are. One can argue that we chose to be there instead of being elsewhere. The children chose to be there with us too. They could be doing other things with other people. Instead they chose to be with us. Behind all our choices is our Heavenly Father who bestows upon us all good things. Therefore, none of us deserve any compliment for doing something that is beyond our control.

At this point, I would like to do something that I don’t usually do. I am going to tell how not to read this post. Please don’t confuse it as a thinly disguised testament of humility. It is anything but this. It is a reflection on the text above. I found much joy and peace in knowing that we are just unworthy servants doing something which is beyond our capacity and yet, we are given the privilege to be part of this. It is this joy that I would like to share. Actually, it is not just for us but everyone who wants to live their lives as a testimony to the gospel. It is a joy to know that we are all unworthy of serving God and yet God still include us in His ultimate project in this world.

One of the joyous things of knowing that we are unworthy servants is that the burden of success or failure is not dependent on us. First of all, there is nothing to gauge success in this world. Jesus said that His kingdom is not of this world. Therefore, there is nothing in this world that can be remotely compared to His standards. Our present ideas of success are based on principles of the reality. There are no possible graphs and charts that we can conjure up to determine what the Holy Spirit considers as success. The change and modification in our personal attitudes towards our neighbors is the essence of the fruits of the Spirit. Those who try measure the performance of their ministry through the means of this world have failed in the Kingdom of God. Even though they might prove themselves to be successful in the world, they have allowed worldly standards to contaminate their calling. All because they think in their hearts that it is necessary to show that they are worthy servants of God. In reality, no one is worthy and this is why we are in constant need of His grace. There is freedom that comes with this awareness. We are liberated to serve willingly and joyfully even when nothing apparently happens because our self-worth is not based on results. It is based on the privilege of being part of God’s actions in this world.

In this world, everything is geared towards reward. According to Jesus, there is no reward for the unworthy servant. The servant shouldn’t expect one. No rewards means no competitive spirit. This does not mean that there is not a goal. To the contrary, the goal is quite perfectly clear; it is to be a faithful servant. When we do this, we will discover that no reward is necessary. Service in itself is sufficient. I know a friend who has been a priest for many years. He never considered himself a charismatic leader or successful pastor of a large congregation. He was faithful in visiting the sick and widows. He was always available when someone needed spiritual guidance. He did exactly what a priest is supposed to do. Whenever he left a congregation to serve another, he always left people in tears. They did not want to lose the pastor that helped them see Christ clearly in their lives. This very pastor once told me that doing the right thing is reward in itself. I will never forget these words because they are God’s words to me. I have found them to be a living reality as we participate in God’s project here. For Mary and I, the reward is being on the steps of the cathedral and waiting for the children and teens. Knowing these children and learning to discern God’s presence in their lives makes life splendid and beautiful for us. We believe that this awareness is mutual. The children seem to enjoy being with us too. This is because we are all where God wants us to be. This is the reward. Being exactly in the place where God wants us to be. Willing to be God’s unworthy servants is enough. God will make the rest happen. I believe that there are countless number of people that will testify to this Truth.

This seemingly heartless and tough saying of Jesus is actually a most powerful and liberating Truth for us today. The desire for recognition and honor has left many tired and depressed in this world. People are forced to prove their self-worth and end up losing their dignity in the process. Knowing that we are unworthy servants of God has the opposite effect because our unworthiness doesn’t stop God from including us in His service. The only possible reason for this is Love. It gives God great pleasure to include His children in the things that He is doing. We don’t deserve this and there is nothing we can do that would prove our worth for the task. God just wants to give us the privilege to be part of the things He is doing. He wants us to share in the good things He is doing in this world like a father who wants to share special moments with his children. He will give us the grace and strength for us to fulfill our duty. However, we should never confuse His grace with our own personal merit. There is no room for meritocracy in the Kingdom of God. There are just room for unworthy but faithful servants.

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Small Dog Licking His Wounds

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man’s table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham.- Luke16:19-21

The dogs made it into the parable. It’s funny that Jesus included them. They appear to be irrelevant to the story. I haven’t heard a sermon preached about them. Nevertheless, they caught my attention. It is hard to be among the homeless and not notice the dogs. It makes sense that Jesus included them in this parable.

Dogs in the Jesus’ period were considered to be nuisances. They were just a little better than rats. They were definitely not man’s best friend. They were despised animals and taught to fear human presence. Yet, they had no fear of Lazarus. They knew him. They were aware of his sufferings. They brought comfort to him in their own limited way. The rich man was not aware of Lazarus. This does not make him an evil man. Jesus never said this about him. He was just ignorant of Lazarus. He was too consumed in his wealth to notice the beggar’s condition. However, the dogs did.
Every day, we walk by the hundreds of Lazarus that beg and sleep in the streets. They have his wounds and sores. There are even dogs that lick their wounds. At the steps of the cathedral, there is a mutt named Billy. He belongs to no one but all the homeless including the children love him. They want him to be their pet. He is an independent spirit. He does his rounds everyday and licks and comforts the spiritual wounds of those who suffer. He growls at anyone who is not a homeless person. He only knows those who are abandoned and rejected. He has come to know us now. He comes and greets us whenever we sit at the steps of the cathedral. I think the key to understanding this parable lies in Billy the mutt.

“Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame,
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name”- Bob Dylan, from the song,“Jokerman”

This parable is not about rich and the poor. It just tells of the contrast between two different people. The social divide is not a new thing. It has always been there and will always be. Jesus said nothing about the social injustice. He did not work concepts like social systems. He worked with individuals. There were two individuals in extremely different circumstances. This is the reality. The rich man did not do anything to cause Lazarus’ pain, but he could have done something to relieve it. It was within his power. Alas, he was too occupied having a good time with his wealth. He must have believed that he was blessed unlike Lazarus who only had dogs for companionship. Maybe he did not help Lazarus because he did not know what could be done for him. It is easy for us to criticize this man as an outsider. However, most of us have money to give to the person who begs around the corner or at the highway junction. Most of us try not to make eye contact and pretend we don’y see him. It is not because we are heartless. We just don’t know how to help in a meaningful way. The dogs did not think too much about it. They just did what they knew. Lazarus’ wounds needed to be tended. They did it. We can perhaps look beyond the money and try to discover the wounds of those who have been reduced to this desperate state. Maybe then, we can offer something more meaningful than food and money.

Alex came up to us one day at the steps of cathedral and showed us that he had gotten fifty dollars from begging. On top of that, someone had bought him a takeaway lunch and a bag full of cookies and chocolates for snacks afterwards. He was truly pleased. Then he sat there for a good fifteen minutes watching all the people going in and out of the cathedral. He decided that he was going to beg from the people. He asked for almost anything. If he saw someone chewing gum, he would ask for some. If someone was drinking a can of soda, he would ask for the rest. It was comical and yet quite revealing to us. He was begging even though he had no reason to do it. He had more than enough money for the day. Yet something was motivating him to beg. Alex is not a greedy person. He is actually quite generous. He always shares what he receives with the other children and teens. He was begging for a different reason. He was very selective. He wanted things from specific people and when they gave him what he wanted, he looked almost sad. He wanted certain people to notice him. He was begging not for monetary gain but for emotional recognition. His sad and disappointed look was because his only connection with these people ended after he received what he had asked for. Maybe he does not even realize this himself. He never asked anything from us. He knows that he has a connection with us. The other children and teens do activities with us because they know that these are symbolic gestures to show that there is a real connection between us. Begging is not just monetary. It is a plea for some human contact. It is the last and desperate attempt to reach out to humanity.

One of the saddest things for the homeless is to be invisible. Many people ignore them. Not because they are bad or unkind. They don’t how to deal with them. The homeless do many things to avoid being invisible. We have seen the homeless do weird dance routines and sing out of tune just to get some attention. We have noticed that the ones that smell the worse are the ones who are most introverted homeless people. Their dirty and pungent smell is not just a lack of hygiene. It is also their only attempt to be noticed in this world. They would do anything not to be ignored. Unfortunately, it is these very actions that sometimes keep people away from them.

Lazarus must have not been a pleasant sight. He was covered with sores in the hot desert environment. It would have been easier to ignore him than to try to do something. It is understandable why one would want to do this. However, it is not justifiable. Ignorance is not an accepted excuse. Perhaps the rich man should paid attention to the dogs. They did not have much to offer but they gave Lazarus what they could.

Lazarus was not upset that the rich man was rich. He did not think that his predicament was due to unfair social structures. All he wanted was to be satisfied with the crumbs from the table. He deserved more than this for sure but he would have been so happy with so little. The rich man had the possibility to do something good. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware of Lazarus’ existence. He was too busy enjoying the fruits of his wealth. In the end, he only had the poverty of his soul to show for throughout eternity.

As I am writing this post, I remembered meeting a young man who used to be in square with the children and teens. He was a homeless child at one point as well. He just moved to my neighborhood recently. He is sleeping on the streets with a group of homeless adults. Incidentally, we took notice of him because he was a tough looking guy who had a poodle mutt as a pet. He found it abandoned and they were inseparable ever since. Unfortunately, the dog is gone and he is alone and sad. He saw us the other day and asked us to visit him. He said that we were like street parents to him. He did not want money from us. He just wants our time. He said that he was lonely. He is our Lazarus. We have to visit him. We walk thirty minutes to be with the other children and teens and this young man is just a block away from my apartment building. Yet I haven’t been down to see him. The truth is that I feel so comfortable here that I forget about this young man had asked us for a visit.

I am thankfully to Lazarus for reminding me that I could be like this rich man. It is easy to indulge in our own comfort zone and forget those who need their wounds to be ministered. I am going to look for this young man after I post this on my blog.

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Reflections on Being a Family

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”-Luke 14:25

This is a reflective follow-up on Michelle’s observations in our last blog post.

We have just completed three years here: a short time for those who understand long-term missionary work and a long time for those accustomed to short-term experiences. For us, it is just a time to reflect. Michelle’s observation helped us realize that we have reached a significant phase in our time here. We had hoped that we could be a family to the children and her observations confirmed that our intentions are materializing. Family, however, is a complex concept. There are all kinds of families. There are hospitable families where outsiders are received with much warmth and openness. Yet, the separation still exists between friends and “real” family members. There are dysfunctional families where the bonds of affection are loose and fragile. Relationships are volatile and interchangeable in these families. There are the kind of close-knit families where no one else matters except the blood relationships. The list of diverse family dynamics can be almost infinite. However, we do not go into streets to introduce our brand of family. We are here with the conviction that it is God who is leading us to be a family to the children. Therefore, we have to consider what kind of family God wants us to be in the streets. Before we can get to this answer, we need to first heed the tough and difficult words of Jesus regarding our family ties.

No one in their right mind would say aloud the things Jesus proffered in the above verse from the gospel of Luke. These sayings are often allocated to the tough sayings of Jesus. Everyone recognizes them but their implications are rarely considered seriously in the church community, despite the fact that the first Christian community did honor them literally in the Acts of the Apostles. Families in the primitive church sold everything and came together to be one. Traditional family ties were given up in order to become part of a broader reality in the Kingdom of God. We could only imagine the criticisms that Peter and the other married apostles must have endured. Christianity must have been considered then as a religion that was disruptive to regular family dynamics. We think that it is different today but in reality, in some countries where Christianity is not the dominant religion such criticisms still exist. Many friends of mine who came from Taoist and Buddhist backgrounds said that their parents considered them as spiritual traitors when they accepted baptism into the Christian faith. Some parents even disowned them. However, most readers of the blog, including myself, live in a predominantly Christian environment. We don’t face such social and cultural pressures. Nevertheless, these powerful and disturbing words of Jesus still apply to us. They should still scandalize and challenge us to rethink our idea of family.

Our commonly held family values are not from the gospel but they are based on our cultural and societal customs. They are, in reality, just a sophisticated form of animalistic behavior. There is nothing remarkably new or excellent about them. On the other hand, the gospel brings a radically new and more excellent dimension to our understanding of a family. It challenges us to go beyond our animalistic instincts and become human. Jesus’ words do not destroy family values but restore a true and godly understanding of them. We define families along blood ties whereas Jesus presents God’s idea of a family. This is clearly seen in one particular incident in the gospel of Luke when Jesus was told that His mother and brothers were patiently waiting to speak to him;

But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.” -Luke 8:21

Family in the Kingdom of God is defined by our relationship to the Truth. We should not confuse this with doctrinal convictions. Hearing and doing the Truth is more than mere subscription to certain doctrines. It is a transformation of our attitudes. The first sign of this is reflected in our attitudes towards our neighbor.

Hearing and Doing the Truth does not mean that we have to abandon our families. At least, this won’t be necessary in our context. Jesus’ words are a challenge to us to evaluate and perhaps even abandon society’s restrictive concept of family in the Light of the gospel.

And no man puts new wine into old wineskins; else the new wine will burst the wineskins, and be spilled, and the wineskins shall be destroyed.-Luke 5:37

Ideally, our birth family is a training ground for us to learn how to love and accept others into our household. When our birth family becomes the be all and end all, then we fall into sin of idolatry. We need to discard the old in order to understand the value and beauty of the new concept of family that the gospel inaugurates. Discarding does not mean that we abandon them. It means that they should not keep us from accepting God’s richer and life-giving definition of family.
I want to bring this post back to the streets. God is teaching us to be a family. It is something new for all of us. A social worker once told me that he corrected a young teenage girl when she said that she considered him to be her father figure. He said that he will never be her father because he does not have the capability of accepting her into his household. I thought that it was tactless on his part to say these words to this young homeless girl. Nevertheless, he was being coherent with the world’s definition and standard of a family. However, by the grace of God, we are not social workers, not just us but all Christians. We have a higher calling . We are called to reconcile individuals back to the family of God. Social workers only deal with social problems. We are God’s children sent here to embrace those who do not know the true status of their existence as God’s children, as well.

I have been a son and a brother and Mary has been a daughter and sister. Now God has given us sons and daughters. Through the grace of God, we have become their father and mother. Many people who are living thousands of miles away from these children have adopted them through prayer as their grandchildren. Perhaps none of this would make sense to the world. It is a concept that is not common to them. They have to break away from their traditional ideas of what constitutes a family to understand this. Even then, it would still be impossible for anyone to do this until they have met the One who is the true Father of all. We have discovered our family in the streets and God has a family for you to discover as well. They may not be in the streets like ours but they are there somewhere waiting to be reconciled into God’s eternal family.

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Becoming part of the Family

It was a strange day. We waited on the steps of the cathedral for the children for three hours and not a single soul showed up. Usually we will spend time with at least one child but today was different. Finally, we decided that it was time to go home. We stopped at a grocery store on the way. As we came out of this store, a young lady came up to us and tried to get our attention. She did not look Brazilian: she was clearly a foreigner. We thought that she was lost and heard us speaking English and wanted to ask us for directions. Instead, her first words were: “Do you have a blog?” Her name is Michelle. She came to Brazil to discern a call to work with homeless children. Her first stop was São Paulo. She did some quick research the day before about missionary work among the homeless children here and our blog appeared among the list. Our meeting appeared to be random but we took it as an opportunity from God. We invited Michelle for lunch and she went with us to the streets. Then, Michelle decided to spend the last ten days of her trip here with us in the streets to discern her call. She met our family in the streets and it did not take long for her to become a part of it. I will let Michelle tell you about her participation in her own words.

Through the eyes of Michelle

michelle“Michelle!” Bruno shouted across the street to me as I sat on the steps outside Praça da Sé Cathedral. We met on the steps and he gave me a warm hug and told me he had missed me. I first met him 5 weeks before when we played Uno and talked. Bruno had immediately put me at ease and welcomed me as one of the family. I was so touched that he remembered me even though I had been gone for 5 weeks. He was instantly ready to open his arms to me and include me in his day and life, even though we didn’t know each other very well. I remember one of the first things that struck me about Bruno was how kind his eyes are. I know he has been through a lot but it hasn’t extinguished his kindness.

Through staying with Stephen and Mary and going out on the streets with them I learnt a lot about what true hospitality looks like. They welcomed me into their home, supported me, and showed me love in so many ways. Likewise, the street kids I met welcomed me as soon as they met me and treated me with respect and kindness. Even though I was a stranger to them and I couldn’t speak their language well they patiently waited for me to struggle through basic sentences in Portuguese. They accepted my presence as if it was normal and treated me either like a street worker or a friend, not just a random visitor.

Their acceptance of me is a testament to the work Stephen and Mary do. They have built strong relationships with them. They are friends with them. And Stephen and Mary introduced me to them as ‘our friend from England’. Friends meeting friends. The respect the street kids have for Stephen and Mary is obvious. It’s clear that Stephen and Mary have offered them safety and proved themselves to be trustworthy. I got all the benefits of being a friend of Stephen and Mary, as the street children’s respect for them meant I was welcomed so warmly.

The safe, trusting relationships Stephen and Mary have offered the children was most evident in one moment on my last day with them. Alex was the only child with us. He turned 16 that week but he looks and acts much younger. Stephen had a children’s Bible with him and Alex wanted him to read from it. As Stephen read, Alex was very engaged and interested. Lying on his side, he edged closer to Stephen, leaning over his arm, watching the words Stephen read and looking at the picture. He was physically close to Stephen, listening and enjoying the story, completely safe. It reminded me of a child listening to his father read him a bedtime story. Alex felt safe with Stephen and Mary and it showed in his body language and interactions with them.

It was a beautiful moment of innocence and safety for a child who lives and sleeps on the street. It’s hard to reconcile it with the other experiences I had of Alex over the week, like when I saw him do drugs, or when he showed us where he had slept the night before and pointed matter-of-factly at a bundle of dirty blankets on the street in the centre of São Paulo.

I remember during the week Stephen talking about family. He said he and Mary go out on the street as a family and they invite the kids to be part of their family. When I went out with them on the first day and met Bruno we played Uno on the steps of the Cathedral and I remember that it felt like a family playing a board game in their living room. The only thing that reminded me that this wasn’t normal was that other people walking by or sitting on the steps were looking at us in confusion and trying to work out why we were together.

Every day I saw the street kids come and find Stephen and Mary on the steps. They came knowing they would be accepted. Knowing that Stephen and Mary would be happy to see them. Sometimes they just talked, or coloured. More often they wanted to play Uno and there was a lot of laughter and friendly competition. Some of the kids came by for a brief talk and a hug and kiss. Others stayed all afternoon until we left.

waiting-for-the-children

There is a family reunion every day on the steps of Praça da Sé. It’s an odd looking family.Sometimes it’s a big family and sometimes it’s small. It’s a family that’s not always accepted or understood by onlookers. But it’s a family nonetheless. And Jesus is sitting right in the middle.

 

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Neither to the Right nor to the Left

Let us pass, I pray thee, through thy country: we will not pass through the fields, or through the vineyards, neither will we drink of the water of the wells: we will go by the king’s high way, we will not turn to the right hand nor to the left, until we have passed thy borders.-Numbers 20:17

We had just sat down for dinner. We hadn’t seen our friend for a while and finally, after several unsuccessful attempts, we could have a quiet evening together. As usual, our conversation led to our encounters with the children in the streets. Our friend has always been interested in our work. She considers herself an agnostic for the time being. She hasn’t quite found her spiritual home yet. However, this does not hinder us from speaking freely with her about our religious experience. We often share the spiritual lessons that we believe God is teaching us through the children. We don’t do this to do this as an attempt to evangelize her. She is aware of this. In reality, it has never been an issue. She is free to talk about her doubts and spirituality in the same manner with us. We speak so frequently about the children and teens that she even knows the children and teens by name, even though she has never met any of them. We were about to share an incident with Alex when all the sudden we heard loud and rowdy noises coming from the streets below. It sounded like our street was being invaded by a mob. The city has been in a turmoil for the past few days. There has been a sudden change of government recently. Many consider it to be a coup and they tried to legitimize it by impeaching the present president. Everything was made official on this day. The president was legally impeached. The whole procedure happened in such a dubious way that it has made people question the authenticity of Brazilian democracy. The people have taken to the streets to reclaim the whole democratic process. People of all ages shouting their chants of discontent. In the streets their voices interrupted our meal and talk. Being the curious beings that we are, we left our dinner table to see the commotion in the streets from our window. Then we heard the gunshots.

The police were heavily armed and they were shooting rubber bullets at the protesters. We heard bombs of tear gas being fired. We were quite surprised that they were doing this in our residential area. The protesters became disoriented and started running away to escape the stinging affect of the bomb. We felt strange watching this from a safe place in our apartment. Maybe we should be down below with them. These people were protesting against a grave injustice. It was partisan politics at worse. The protest was not in favor of the president: very few people thought that she was doing a good job. However, I have to resort to a cliché and say that “two wrongs do not make a right”. The democratic process needed to be respected. This protest was a call for re-election. We watched this drama of violence and politics unfold from the comfort of our living room window. The police successfully dispersed the crowd. The excitement slowly died down but the sirens and helicopters continued to haunt our neighborhood. We had to shut all the windows before we went back to our meal which was slightly cold by now. Thankfully, I prepared something that would be good at room temperature as well. No reheating was necessary. We could just sit and resume our conversation about Alex. It was really about his pet dog. It seemed like trivial subject compared to what we had just seen.

A few days ago, we saw Alex sitting alone at the steps of the cathedral. He has been spending more time with us. He was never seen without his little puppy, Princess. She was about three months old. We were really impressed by the way he had been taking of her. He had proved himself to be a very conscientious pet owner. He took her to the vet to get her shots. He used a large part of his money which he gets from begging to buy her the best dog food for puppies. This was good thing because he had less money to buy paint thinner. He carried her around wrapped in a blanket so that the cold winter breeze would not bother her. It was quite a delight watching him take care of his pet. Therefore, he was without her on this day. We sat down and waited for him to approach us which he did almost immediately. He was visibly upset. He told us that someone had stolen Princess. We could see that he wanted to cry but he held himself back. He sat in a silence for a while. Then he turned around and told us that it happened at night when he was in a deep sleep. He returned to his pensive mood. We sat there with him in silence. Finally he looked up and asked if I could go with him to help him look for the dog. He thought that there might be a possibility that it might been wondering around in the area where they usually slept. The children sleep under a highway tunnel. In order to get there, we have to cross two busy and dangerous roads. Alex wanted me to go with him. He could have done this on his own but he did not want to be alone today. I said that I would go and we set off together.

As we were walking to this place, Alex muttered a prayer which he kept repeating until we got to the place. He was pleading to God to keep his puppy safe and sound and he wanted to her back. It was a heart breaking prayer. Unfortunately, I felt almost certain that his dog was not going to be there. Nevertheless, we searched high and low and never found it. Eventually we gave up and walked slowly back to the cathedral. Alex was silent. I could see the disappointment and hopelessness in his eyes. I wanted to say something to comfort him but nothing came to my mind. I just walked beside him in silence. I put my arm around him and he just kept quiet. He did not stay long at the steps. He was too distraught. He went away and we did not see him after this for at least two days.

The President’s impeachment and Alex’s new lost puppy are the two events that happened this past week. The media covered the former and it was in everybody’s mind including us. On the other hand, Alex’s crisis was not newsworthy. It is an incident that only we knew about and now our friend knows as well. Alex’s world is simpler than the president’s. He has very little to give him pleasure in this life. His puppy brought him some joy and meaning. Now, it is gone. Alex has only drugs and nothing else. The president, on the other hand, might have felt humiliated and betrayed. She lost the chance to run a large nation. However, the truth is that she hasn’t lost much. She never had the power to begin with. She did not lose anything except her pride. She still has many things intact. The fact that there are thousands of people protesting around the nation is a sign of her wealth (I am using this in the broad sense). Maybe more people are expressing their support for her now than when she was actually the president. She may have lost her executive powers but she is not poor and forgotten. Alex, on the hand, remains forgotten and unknown. Losing a tiny puppy has made him poorer than before. It wasn’t just about a puppy. It was about being alone in this world. For a brief moment, Alex believed that there was a warm living thing that would be with him in the streets every single moment of his life. This dream was shattered. The dog was stolen from someone who barely had anything. The media will never report this tragic story. It operates on a different political realm where only the rich and famous matter. Our political realm includes people like Alex, the lonely and forgotten. This is why we are not in the protest. We did not want the political climate of this or any country to distract us from walking on the King’s Highway. We shall not turn to the left nor the right but keep our focus on the road to His Kingdom. Alex is our guide to keep us on this road.

Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.- John 18:36

I feel like I should make something clear at this point. I do not intend to say that Christians should not be involved in political life of the country or even participate in protests and boycotts against injustice or the ruling party. I am not saying that they should either. The Holy Spirit is present in each one to guide us in our political involvement. We should not define political action in the restrictive manner of this world. We are not apolitical. We are very active politically but not according to the standards of this world. We walk in a different political highway.

We love this city. We love it despite of its pollution and traffic and lack of nature. However, we always need to be clear of who we are in this world. The crime and violence does not impede us from participating in its community life. Our friends consider us as “Paulistanos” (name given to those born in this city) at heart. We are proud of this. However, we are here because we are citizens of the Kingdom of God. This Kingdom is present and real here. Kings, Queens, Presidents and Prime Ministers come and go. They make promises that they cannot keep and most of them are not necessarily dishonest people. They believe like Pilate when he thought that he had the authority to decide on the outcome of Jesus’ life. The answer is always the same. They have no power except for what is given to them by God. Some people put their faith in them because they have no other choice. However, Christians are aware of a greater and eternal Kingdom. Our vocation is to be politicians of this Kingdom but we don’t take our cue from the politicians of this world. Unlike them, we don’t believe that it is up to us to materialize the Kingdom of God. It is not our prerogative to do this. It is already here present and active because the King of Kings is present through the Holy Spirit in this world. Our vocation is walk in this world as the Light of the gospel. This Light is to guide all peoples to walk in the highway that reveals the Kingdom of God. We don’t make God’s reality happen in this world. We are called to recognize its presence in this world.

I am saddened by the President’s impeachment. She is a human being and no one deserves to be humiliated publicly in this manner. However, I am not going to the streets because of this. We will go the streets everyday to protest against abandonment and isolation. We don’t need to carry signs. We don’t need to chant slogans. We don’t need the media or any public attention to achieve our goals. We just sit and wait at the steps of the cathedral. We wait for young children who have lost their treasured four-legged companions and want a parent to be with them in this tough and difficult moment. We wait for the Holy Spirit to bring the ones that are looking for the Kingdom to us. Personally, I have participated in protests against the government before. I ran away from rubber bullets. I suffocated on the fumes of the tear gas. I must admit that it is very frightening and exciting at the same time. It gives me feeling that I am doing something concrete. However, this feeling doesn’t last. In my soul, I know that there is a real and powerful way to make a difference in this world. Being with Alex on this sad day was a most powerful reminder of this. It seems like something trivial and some people might wonder how I say this about looking for a puppy. It wasn’t about the event. It was about the person. Being with Alex changed something in my soul. I can’t quite explain it yet, but it has kept me walking on the King’s Highway and discovering what it means to be a citizen in the Kingdom of God.

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Bruna’s story

Jesus said unto them, “Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.”-Luke 9:48

Bruna is not to be confused with Bruno. I have written about Bruno in several posts but for the first time I am telling Bruna’s story. They both are about the same age and share the male and female versions of their names. Their similarities end here besides the fact that they are both homeless. Both have very different stories to tell regarding their journey to the streets.

Bruna never had much of a chance. Her mother is a crack addict. Consequently, Bruna was exposed to drugs and crime since the day she was born. This did not stop her from hoping that she would have a decent mother. She really just wanted a mother, but her mother never wanted a daughter. This did not stop Bruna from trying to be one to her. She tried everything within her capacity to please her mother. Nothing seemed to work. Her mother was too broken to notice. It was really a question of identity. Children discover their self-worth through their parents. They are the first ones to give us some meaning for our very existence. Unfortunately, her mother never gave her this assurance. Bruna admits that she always had people willing to look out for her. However, for a little child, it is not the same. She wanted her own mother to love her. Bruna always tried to win her mother’s heart. She wanted her life to mean something for her mother. All her attempts only brought tears for Bruna. Her mother had nothing to give and this is why she was slowly killing herself with crack.

Bruna hardly smiles. She usually keeps to herself and does not interact with people easily. The thing that struck me most was that she remembered Mary’s name almost immediately after our first meeting. She would come to Mary and clearly articulate her name as if to say that I know you by name instead of just a generic anonymous greeting. She would always give Mary a kiss. She shares Mary’s interest in art and she loves to color complex designs and patterns. She shared with us that she discovered her love for art when she was living in a Catholic Orphanage. This was something we never knew about her. She could also recite the rosary in Latin which she learned from the nuns. São Paulo has a world-class art museum that has a permanent collection including those of Van Gogh and Rembrandt. Despite in her interest in art, Bruna had never set foot in this place. This is not uncommon because places as such tend to intimidate our children and teens. They feel too self-conscious to enjoy them. We asked her if she would like to go the museum with us. Her face lit up with a huge smile and she nodded enthusiastically. We set the date and time and when the day arrived, we found Bruna all dressed and ready for our visit together.

When we walked into the museum, Bruna just wandered off on her own and started admiring the different paintings. It appears that all the beauty displayed in this place just consumed all her fears and sense of insecurity. She started gazing at the paintings and savoring the colors and the details of the art pieces. On several occasions we were all drawn to the same pictures. TCriança Morta_1944here was one particular art piece by a Brazilian artist, Candido Portinari that arrested both our attention. The picture depicted the death of a child and the family were in tears and devastated by the tragic event. It conveyed a sentiment so palpable and Bruna and I just stood there absorbed in this sentiment. Pain and suffering unites all humanity. It is something we share in common. Bruna is only twenty and she has experienced more then her fair share of it. Maybe it wasn’t the hardness of life that attracted her to this picture. Maybe it was the family being together despite the tragic circumstances. This togetherness is something she did not even possess.

This was not the only picture that she reflected on. The paintings that held her attention revealed her distinctive taste and perhaps even a little bit about herself. After the museum, we went for ice-cream and we sat at a food court and just talked and ate together. Then we went back to our apartment and she went back to her spot in the streets. We hugged before we said goodbye. She was truly happy to spend the day with us. At least, when we were in the museum, our differences melted away and we were united in the different expressions of the human experience. There was no class or social divisions in the art themselves. There was just a longing for something meaningful.

I wrote the section above about three months ago. I don’t know why I never published it. We did not see Bruna for a while after this little excursion. It is not uncommon. Everything is very fluid in the streets. We might spend a special day or have a intimate connection with a child one day and then we won’t see them for months before our next interaction. We have learned to appreciate each special moment as a gift from God and not expect a constant repetition of it. Such occasions are treasures that we will stay with us for eternity. We shouldn’t get too greedy for these treasures but just receive them as the Holy Spirt gives them to us.

Bruna began eventually to reappear in our lives. Since we are always found sitting at the steps of the Cathedral, she knew exactly where to find us. A couple of days ago, she sat next to us on the steps and asked if she could color. As usual she chose one with a complex design. She is very meticulous. She never repeats colors and chooses them in a way that highlights particular objects in the picture which have impressed her. She sat and colored in silence for almost two hours. When finished, she wanted to work on another piece. Occasionally she would stop to say something but nothing really significant, perhaps a passing thought. She did not need to say anything important. Her presence alone spoke volumes. We found out that her birthday falls on the same day as Mary. We asked what she wanted to do. She had no idea. Birthdays come and go for these children without any significance. It is not surprising that they want nothing special for their birthdays. We convinced her to have coffee and cake with us. She smiled and agreed.

The times we spent with Bruna are quiet and peaceful. She does not say much but she just sits with us. I think this is all she wanted from her mother. She just wanted to be with her. She does not demand anything from us. She has never asked us to help her in any way. She just wants to sit and be with us. Bruna is known for her aggressiveness in the streets. She has to be this way in order to survive. With us, she has the opportunity to be a peaceful young girl who just want to be loved. She wants someone to think that her life matters. All she ever received from her mother was rejection. We hope that she senses that her existence is meaningful to us. I believe she does.

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Necessary Economy

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.-Luke 16:10

Today was not a good day. No one got hurt, sick or was ill-treated. Nothing happened that discouraged us. There just simply no one in the streets. Well, there were lots of homeless adults but not one of our children or teens were in the streets. We sat and waited for them for three hours and no one showed up. I tried to fill our time with reading the Bible and Mary attempted to draw something. We thought that we should do something at least. We wanted to feel like we were not wasting our time. There was an internal pressure within us to make every moment count. However, it did not work. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing made us feel a little restless and aimless. There is no cure for this. We just have to face it head on and deal with it.

It was different yesterday. We wished today was just like yesterday.

The children and teens were waiting for us at the steps when we arrived yesterday. We almost did not even have time to say our customary prayers before work. They were happy and eager to see us. Some of them came to us and asked us to do some activity with them. Ruan whom we haven’t seen for weeks was there and he sat next to us and told us all about his new pet. It was a puppy that someone had given to them. Then Caio came over. We have seen Caio around in the past few days but he is always on the move. He hardly stops to talk. However, yesterday was different. He sat down next to me and just started talking. He had read something about Holy Communion and wanted to talk about it. We asked about Bruno and then almost magically he just showed out of nowhere. He had a bunch of English words that he wanted Mary to translate. There were teens who wanted first aid to be done. Many wanted to tell us something interesting that happened to them. Some had questions about God and life in general. There were so many children and teens wanting our attention that our heads begin to spin in a good way. We felt like we were accomplishing something. It was a good feeling.

Caio asked me to read from John 6 about the sacrament of the Body and Blood. He had read something about the Lord’s supper stating that the Catholics confused the biblical text on John 6. Caio had read that the Holy Communion was really an invention of the Catholic Church. Even though he is from an evangelical background that doesn’t believe in the sacraments, he felt that the Holy Communion was something spiritual and mystical and not a mere doctrinal invention of the church. Together we read John 6:56 from my Bible,

He that eats my flesh, and drinks my blood, dwells in me, and I in him.

He said that whenever he read these words, he felt in his spirit that the communion is something more than a mere ritual or remembrance. He thinks that participating in the Communion somehow connects him with Christ in a real way. The best I could do at this point was to listen to his reflections. He wasn’t asking any questions so I wasn’t expected to give any answers. He wanted me to just listen. He said that he went to a church where the communion was done in a haphazard manner and he did not stay till the end. He felt that it was disrespectful. Whenever he goes to church, he goes for the reverence. He needs this sense of reverence that is lacking in his life. Then he remained silent. I did not try to fill this empty space in our interactions with useless opinions. I sat in silence with him. After a while he smiled and asked if we could play a game.

At this point, Alex walked up to us and told us that an elderly man had fallen and hurt himself badly. We asked what happened. He just said that old people tend to fall and we need to help them. He had tried to console the man but there were too many people around. As he was saying this, an ambulance passed us. It most likely carried the old man within. Bruno was also asking questions about the Bible and faith as well and Mary was trying to answer his questions in between playing a game of Uno. Bruno likes the comfort of playing a game while asking some serious questions. All in all it was a great day. We did not get the chance to speak with all the children and teens and we ended staying longer than we usually do. However, today was different. We might be going home at our usual time.

“Nothing is wasted in God’s economy.” An Anglican priest once shared these words of wisdom with me. Maybe it is a quote from someone famous; I don’t know. These words were spoken after he spent his time listening to me. They were his words to my soul. I was sharing a difficult moment in my parish ministry where I felt that I was doing and achieving absolutely nothing. I was doubtful about my ministry and I wasn’t sure if the congregation were benefitting from the things I did. Somewhere his simple words found a permanent home my heart. He encouraged me to focus on the gospel and not to worry if anything I did appeared to be fruitless. The same church where I felt useless is one of the churches where I can truly say that I had a successful ministry. It never grew leaps and bounds but I learned to become one with the church. We started out being worlds apart. It was a rural church in a small city in the Northeast of Brazil where they never had a foreign presence for centuries and I was a full-bred big city foreigner who loves big city culture. Superficially, it looked like a perfect recipe for a disaster. I decided to continue to wait even I felt useless. I learned to trust God to “waste” my time. This was actually the missing element that was needed for us to grow into being One; the willingness to “waste” my time.

Sitting at the steps and waiting is difficult. We feel obligated to be always doing something to justify our existence but God does not need us to do this. He created us. This is alone justifies our existence. We exist because God wants us to be. The salvation of the children and teens is not dependent on us. God loves these little ones and He will reach out to them regardless of whether we are there or not. He does not need us to save these little ones. He gives us the privilege to participate in His work. It is a gift from God for us just sit there and wait like the Good Father sat and waited for His prodigal son to return home. God calls us to wait with him for these children and teens. If we don’t do it, then He will call someone us to do it. God wouldn’t lose anything but we would have lost something precious in our lives. Therefore, it is a good thing to just sit and wait because it is participating in what God does all the time. It is an essential part of being a representative of God’s love.

I still wish everyday was like yesterday. This is just wishful thinking. Besides, I won’t appreciate and value the talks and openness of the children and teens if I don’t have days like today. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing makes me treasure the moments when something happens. The children on their part are happy finding us sitting on the steps waiting just for them. On a different occasion, we overheard Gabriel, one of the younger teens, divulging to another that we had spent hours waiting and looking for them. He was clearly impressed. It means something for people in general when they find someone just waiting and willing to “waste time” doing nothing until they come.

I know that we are going to have more days like yesterday but they are not going to happen without days like today. If we are not willing to wait, then nothing will happen. It is not easy but it is definitely not wasted time. Valuable and precious things happen to those who are willing to wait.

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