Ministry to Children

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Questions about Righteous Living

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, decided to put her away privately. (Matthew 1:19)

Igor has been looking a little discouraged lately. He has been looking for a job for three months now and so far nothing has come up. He tries to put on a strong exterior but we can see that he is a little disappointed. The local economy is not doing well and most places are not hiring. Looking for a job is hard itself, but for Igor there is an additional burden and obstacle. He confessed that he always feels self-conscious of his past and thinks that everyone around him is scrutinizing him. Whenever someone does not respond positively to him, he feels as if that they are judging him based on his past. This comes from years of being taught to believe that he would amount to nothing but a thief. Now, he finds it hard to navigate out of this mindset.

Bit by bit Igor is sharing his life experiences with us. Recently he talked about his long stay in the juvenile detention center. He said that physical abuse was routine even for some minor infractions. All the boys were accustomed to it and he does not even feel any rancor towards the guards. He believed that they did what they did to maintain order in the center. However, the guards that he found hard to forgive were the ones who abused him verbally. They constantly told him that he was nothing but a criminal and there was no hope for him. He said that no matter how much he tried he just cannot seem to erase the memories of these words. Hurtful words remain embedded in his soul whereas physical injuries heal and eventually disappear.

Igor also shared that he had a younger brother. Soon after Igor left for the streets when he was seven, his younger brother followed suit. However, he did not last long. He was terrified of the streets. He did not like the sub-culture of the streets. He detested sniffing glue and was fearful of any criminal activities. He left the streets within the week and went to his aunt’s house and never set foot again in the streets. He went to school and got a job when he was sixteen. He worked in a small business that was relatively successful. His boss took a special liking to him and trusted him with large amount of money. Unfortunately, he and a group of friends decided to rob his boss. They tied him up and took off with a large sum of money in a car. The police eventually picked up on their trail and a long drawn out car chase ensued. Tragically, it ended with all of them being shot and killed by the police. None of them were armed and his boss was not hurt. According to Igor, the whole event was caught on national news. I asked Igor whether his brother was influenced by his friends to rob his boss and to my surprise, Igor believed that it was the other way round. I asked him why would his brother who was once afraid of any criminal activities decide to engage in robbery. His answer was simple and heartbreaking. Igor told me that when you grow in a certain neighborhood, you are told all your life that the only way out is through crime. When his brother saw how much money his boss had, he decided to take the easy way out of poverty. Unfortunately, he paid a high price for a small sum of cash.

As part of our weekly time with Igor, we are reading the gospel of Matthew together. When we came to the part where Joseph discovered Mary’s pregnancy. We spoke about Joseph being just and because of his sense of justice, he wanted to save his fiancé any possible harm or danger by trying to breaking up the engagement secretly. Another man would reacted differently. However, it was this sense of justice that helped him hear and receive the Word from the Angel about Mary’s true status. The conclusion we arrived at was that being a just person prepares one to see and understand what God is doing in one’s life. Then Igor asked a difficult question. He wanted to know what does it mean to be just person.

I was silenced by his question. Igor was serious about becoming a righteous person and he wanted to know if this is something that he could learn and what he must do to acquire this understanding. When he saw that I was struggling to answer his question, he decided to help me out and rephrase the question. He wanted to know what was righteous living. This did not alleviate the situation. However, I am grateful that he asked these difficult questions because they helped me to examine my own life as well. It seems like it is easier to say what is unrighteous living. Pointing out what is wrong is easier than showing how to do something the right way. After a few moments of silence and pondering, I told him that for me living a just life means living in harmony with who God has made me to be. I will be the first to admit that this does not really make it clearer. I decided to try again. Not because I wanted to show that I knew the answer; I wanted to answer the question for my own sake. I decided to be honest and said that for me living a just life has to do with my own pursuit of happiness. I believe that being a just person is intrinsically linked with one’s own personal happiness. It is also synonymous with discovering who God has created me to be.

I realized that to tell Igor that he needs to change his life is meaningless if we cannot say what this change is supposed to be. I cannot teach Igor something that I don’t understand myself. However, I did say that it has to do with discovering who God has made us to be. It is a personal journey where he needs to discover God’s voice speaking to him. Igor has heard many voices in his life. These voices brought him to the streets and to the brink of desperation. Even though we cannot teach Igor to be a just person, perhaps he can see through our lives that there exists another voice that speaks to our innermost being and points the way to true happiness. We hope that our lives will inspire Igor to seek this voice out for himself.

 

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A Time for Mercy

“Those who regard worthless idols Forsake their own Mercy.” -Jonah 2:8

Recently, there has been a proposal to amend the constitution to reduce the adult age to sixteen in criminal cases.It has been approved for consideration and debate which is the final step before it becomes official. This means any sixteen year old that commits any crime ranging from petty theft to murder would be confined in the same facility as adult prisoners. The recent poll shows that about 87 percent of the population are in favor of this new proposed amendment. Those who are against it are mainly the House of Bishops of the Roman Catholic Church and people like us who work with the children and teens from impoverished areas. The people argue that they are fed up with the fact that teenagers can commit heinous crimes and are sent to juvenile centers until they are eighteen and then set free. The truth is that the heinous crimes are rarely committed by teenagers but this Law would affect all the teenagers who make unwise choices in their lives. No one disagrees that the incarceration system needs reform but there is hardly any talk about reform in this discussion. This proposed amendment is about punishment; as if the fear of punishment would generate automatic rehabilitation. This simplistic view of the situation is not going to create a safer society but it may facilitate the creation of dangerous criminals.

In my blog posts, I rarely address any political issues. I don’t do this to avoid controversy. I only address them when they are relevant to the children and teens in our ministry. This amendment directly affects our work. Therefore, it is necessary to say something from the perspective of our vocation.

Brazilian prisons are notoriously overcrowded.* I have not visited any adult prisons recently but I have spoken to adults who have been incarcerated. They tell me that an average cell built to hold eight people is overcrowded with at least thirty inmates. Everyone is grouped together. Petty thieves and dangerous murderers sleep in the same cell. Sometimes they have to take turns to sleep because of the lack of space. Within the prison walls, gangs run the show. Those who are affiliated with the gangs are free from violence and rape. Consequently, everyone has to join a gang to survive or even if they don’t, their families have to pay the gangs to protect their loved ones. On the other hand, those who join the gangs are treated with respect and dignity. Their families receive financial help from the gangs on the outside and on visitation days, they are spared some of the humiliating process of being strip searched to visit their sons and daughters. Most men who are imprisoned have affiliated themselves with the gangs because it is the only way to survive. Now, imagine a sixteen year old boy in this situation.

Perhaps, some will argue that they shouldn’t have chosen the life of crime and they deserve what they get. However, the question any good person should ask is why a young man or girl would choose the life of crime?

Most of these young criminals come from impoverished neighborhoods. The schools in these regions are precarious to say the least. A friend of ours taught in these schools. He told us that some of the school buildings are made out of tin literally. During the summer months, the heat is unbearable and the students and teachers have no choice but to endure it. Our friend was an enthusiastic graduate from college who wanted to give his best in a profession whose starting pay is about US$350 per month. Just to give you a point of reference, the rent for a small one bedroom house in the worse neighborhood in the outskirts of the city is more than half of that. You really have to a vocation to do this job. Unfortunately not everyone in this profession has a vocation. Our friend once heard a teacher say in the teacher’s room that her greatest wish was that these children grow up to be utter failures and frustrated in everything they do. This is hardly the kind of role model we would wish upon our worst enemy.

In these neighborhoods, there is rarely a library. There are insufficient social services for the large number of people living here. Both parents often have to work to support the family. The children and teens are in the streets most of the time because their homes are too tiny and hot to remain indoors all day. The streets are filled with unsavory opportunities. Drug dealers roam the streets freely without any problems from the police. They are not afraid of anyone especially the police. The children are exposed to corruption and hypocrisy to the extend that they have lost all respect for the civil authority. The drug dealers are people who have convinced themselves that the only way out of poverty is through crime. They can be the cousins and uncles of these children and teenagers. They might be people who genuinely care for them. Their involvement in crime does not deprive them of their human sensibilities. Unfortunately, these things also make it hard for these children and teens to think negatively of their criminal choices. To make matters worse, the drug dealers are always present and the children have a tendency to admire those who are most present in their lives.

None of these reasons should be confused as excuses for someone to embrace a life of crime. However, this is the hostile environment in which these children and teenagers are constantly exposed. Despite this, many who live in these situations never commit any crime. It does not change the fact that there are many impressionable ones who are seduced by the fleeting perks of criminal life. The real crime is that they live in an environment where crime is a viable option, whereas work and good education are no where to be found.

Many people believe that these young criminals are inherently bad and there is no hope for them. Many of these people go to church on Sundays and read the same Bible as those who oppose this Law. No one is saying that these young offenders are innocent. We believe that they need to be rehabilitated. However, sending a sixteen year old to a cell crowded with hardened criminals is inhumane punishment. I will admit that we are making a choice to look at this from the perspective of the children and teens we know. As I am writing this, I am looking at a picture of Igor and Ana Paula. They both were sent to juvenile detention center at the age of seventeen and Igor only left the detention center when he turned eighteen. He spent a major part of his teenage years incarcerated. Today, he wants something completely different for his life. All his life, people have told him that the life of crime was his destiny. He did not want to believe this, but he was always surrounded by criminals and he did not see any way out. When he was incarcerated, the guards constantly said that he would amount to nothing and he would die a criminal’s death. Today, he said that for the first time he is surrounded by people who hope the best for him. He can imagine a better future for himself. This is not just the case of Igor. All the teens and children that we wrote about in this blog desire someone to believe in them. They don’t want to give up hope but they need people from the outside to help them turn this into a reality. None of them are hardened criminals. None of them want to spend their lives in crime.

The essence of the gospel message is about mercy. One of the most disturbing parables is the one of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35); the servant was forgiven undeservedly of his debt and yet he refused to show mercy to his co-servant. Consequently, he forsook his own mercy. The prophet Jonah tells us that those who worship false gods forsake their own mercy. It makes complete sense. In order to show mercy, we need to believe in a God that is able to do incredible things like transform the life of a person who has given up hope for himself or herself. We cannot believe this unless we have experienced it in our lives. If we take the mercy we received for granted as if it is something we rightly deserved, then we do not understand mercy at all. Consequently we do not know the God who is merciful.

Showing mercy does not mean that we pretend no offense has been committed. It means that we believe that all people are worth redeeming. It means showing in practical ways that we believe everyone has the potential of becoming a person who follows the footstep of the most perfect Human Being expressed in the person of Jesus. Mercy seeks to understand why people do wrong things and tries to correct them. The unmerciful servant was only interested in punishment. He wanted revenge and by doing so, he inadvertently chose his own demise.

87 percent of the population will find this post offensive. I don’t write this to offend anyone. I write this because the way to create a better and safer society is to become a more merciful one. I am not a fool to believe that we will live in a merciful society in this reality. However, we don’t have to be part of creating an unmerciful order. I pray that God’s mercy will prevail and the Law will not be amended. To do so is to sentence these teenagers to a life of crime and certain violent death.

Please pray with us that God’s mercy will prevail.

 

 

* The situation of the Brazilian Penitentiary system can easily be verified through a google search.

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My Brother’s Keeper

“Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?”
He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”-Genesis 4:9

Ruan is a terror. This is the general consensus among those who work in the streets and perhaps even the children might agree. He is always involved in some altercation. It is not uncommon to see him in a physical fight with some teen. He does not seem to respect anyone, not even us. Once he grabbed our deck of Uno cards and ran away with it. As form of discipline, we decided to suspend activities with him for a short period. Unfortunately, it did not seem to bother him at all.

Ruan is only twelve years old. It is possible that he is just going through a phase right now. He might change in a few years time. Nevertheless, we cannot help but sometimes wish that he would just go away and let us do our work in peace. However, Ruan is really not a hindrance to our work. He just reminds us that we are inadequate and limited in our ability to help people. This makes us uncomfortable. In the same way, Cain was uncomfortable with the presence of Abel. Abel reminded Cain that he did not meet the standard. Our human tendency is to remove or distance ourselves from anything makes us feel inadequate. However, our inadequacy should not contaminate our sense of responsibility. It is the calling of the church to care for the forgotten and despised. Despite his difficulty personality, Ruan belongs to this neglected family of God.

When God asked Cain about Abel, He gave the answer that I find myself giving to God sometimes when I deal with difficult people in my life, “ Am I my brother’s keeper?” This is an important question to ask, although in the case of Cain, he was asking this question to avoid facing a serious crime. Perhaps we tend to ask this question to avoid caring for difficult people as well. Leaving all ulterior motives aside, it is a good question to ask God. Do we really have the responsibility to deal with all the difficult people in our lives, especially those who make us feel small and insignificant? It is a question asked several times in the Bible. Who is my neighbor? How many times must I forgive my brother? These are some of the variations of the same question. All of them asked in hopes of finding a loophole to despise unlikable people.

The answer is given in various shapes and form in the New Testament.

It is given in three famous parables; the parable of the sheep, the lost coin and the prodigal son. The parables themselves are a progressive argument that Jesus makes. In the first one, there is not much controversy. The sheep is an innocent animal who got lost and it is the property of the shepherd. His search for it seems to be a rational thing. Nothing out of the ordinary. It is same case with the coin. An inanimate object that got lost and it is of value to the owner. The response is something anyone would do. However, the last parable is controversial. We are dealing with a rational being here. The son is a self-conceited young man demanding his inheritance to indulge in his own personal orgy of self-gratification. Finally, when things don’t work out, he comes running home to his father. If we are willing to be honest, we would agree that the older son was right. The younger son was an irresponsible opportunist and he did not deserve a welcome home party. Apparently this is not the version that Jesus wants us to understand. The story is not about the son but it is about the Father. It is not about the merits of the Son, but the joy of the Father in having His son home. The older son was thinking about himself and not about the Father. In this way, he is not much different from his brother. He failed to see that the younger son, despite being a selfish person, was important to the Father.

Ruan is important to God and so is every annoying and callous person that we know. However, in practice we cannot handle all the people in the world. We can handle the ones God sends to us. He brings certain people in our lives so that we can become their keepers. In the world, rejection is the answer to difficult people. The gospel teaches that God does not reject people, but people reject him. If we want to represent God then we should remove the vocabulary of rejection from our language. However, honesty is important here. God does not want us to pretend a difficult person is a saint when they are behaving like the devil. We cannot pretend that they are good and lovely people. We need to learn to see them the way God perceives them.

In one of our regular days in the streets, we were doing an activity with Ruan when a social worker walked by the square and noticed him. Later on, the social worker approached me and asked me how long Ruan has been in the streets. It was less than a year at that time. He said that he had known him and his family for some time. Ruan used to accompany his stepfather who is paraplegic to a project for physical disabled people. The social worker said that everyone was impressed by the way Ruan would help his step-father and care for him. However, about a year ago, his mother left him for another man. Ruan’s stepfather had to leave the household and this was about the time Ruan ran away to the streets. The child he described was very different from the one we have encountered in the streets. It helped me to notice different things about Ruan from then on. On the day when an insane person tried to hurt me, Ruan was the first person to run up to me and ask me if I was alright. I also noticed that he was trying to console another homeless person who had lost a loved one. I began to perceive that the caring sensitive child was still alive and present in him. Most importantly, I was able to get a glimpse of how God looks at Ruan. He is still a terror, but I realized that he is our brother and God has send us here to be his keeper. This does not mean we overlook his negative attitudes and actions. It would be unwise and unhelpful to do this. Instead we pray that God would help us see Ruan as a complete person, a person who struggles to overcome the odds to be loved in a difficult and lonely world. We are here because God loved us and consequently, this means we become the keepers of those whom God loves as well.

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A Personal Holy Week Reflection

I can’t really remember what I was looking for on the book shelf when I found this old copy of the gospel of Mark. Perhaps I was in the mood to read something. I opened the gospel and read the opening lines.

“The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.” (Mark 1:1)

I was eleven years old.

Since it was Holy Week and I thought to myself that maybe I should just take a few minutes to read the gospel. I don’t think I had planned to read the whole gospel. Like any average eleven year old, my attention span was gravely limited and the gospel of Mark looked like a lot of reading material for someone my age.

For some reason, after the reading the first line, I was drawn almost immediately into the text. I remember it as if it was yesterday. My whole being was absorbed into my inner reading world. My voice in my head narrated the story and my soul just listened deeply and consumed every word that was spoken. It felt like time had stood still for the moment and my attentions span was suspended in a timeless space. As I read about the things Jesus did and said, He became more than a mere personality in a story. He became real being and yet not real as in a real personality in a biographical narrative. I felt His presence in the room. The other players in the stories became irrelevant at that moment. It did not matter what they did or said. Their doubts and faith did not register to me. Only the person of Jesus was alive.

As I kept reading and my sense of His presences in the room became stronger. I won’t say that the gospel was clear to me. I did not understand the parables, I did not understand many things I was reading as I understand them now. However, I remember sensing in my spirit that there were deep and profound things being said. In my soul, there was a growing sense of awe and reverence whenever Jesus responds to the Pharisees. None of those who unjustly accused Jesus invoked any emotional feelings in me. There was no anger or hatred towards them. There was no disappointment when Judas betrayed Jesus or when Peter denied knowing Him. My eyes and hears were focused on the Son of God. Everything in mind was empty except for the person of Jesus.

When I read Jesus’ cry, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”, my whole being was captivated by those words. No Hollywood production could have penetrated by entire being the way I felt when I read those words alone in my room. When Jesus breathed His last breath, the veil of my heart was torn from top to bottom. It was the first time in my eleven years that I felt the helplessness and injustice of His death. I responded in a way only appropriate for an eleven year old, I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I was afraid that some family might walk into the room and see me crying. I locked the door so that I could be free to mourn the death of Jesus.

The gospel spoke to me in a real way that day. No one sat down and explained anything to me. It wasn’t necessary. The person of Jesus had become a real person to me. He had stepped out of the stories that I heard on Sundays and became a living person to me. At that moment, I did not know what to do but I knew I had to do something with my life. Jesus was too real for me to go on living my life as if He was still trapped in the pages of Bible. He is real and life could not be the same after this day for me. It took a few years to do something about it but the fire was ignited on that particular Holy Week.

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The Hope of the Cross

“And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.”- John 12:32

Last year, eight children and teens died in the streets. Most of them were buried in unmarked graves without any funeral or memorial services. In most cases, the families were notified weeks after their passing and in extreme cases, there was no one to notify. Whenever a homeless person dies in the streets whether they are adults or children, the Brazilian Law requires that the burial takes place one day after the death. If no one claims their bodies within 24 hours, they are buried in unmarked graves without anyone present. All the social service groups working in the streets decided that we needed to do something to remember the lives of these little ones. They were special to us and we wanted to show that we miss their presence in this world. We decided to organize an event in remembrance of these forgotten ones.

Of all the agencies, we have the smallest team. Consequently, we could not afford the time and manpower to participate in the organization of this event. The other agencies graciously included us in the event despite our minimal involvement. We are also the only religious group in the mix and our lack of participation meant that the religious element would also be missing in the event. This is not to say that there are no religious people working in these groups, but these agencies are expected to avoid any religious reference in their work approach. We were the only ones with this liberty.

The event was held on a Friday. The agencies put together a banner with the names of the children with personalized notes written by people and children who knew them. These notes were joined together to form the words: Peace in the Streets. There were eight crosses with the names of the children and teens who passed away and there were about twenty other crosses for those who died in yesteryears that were never remembered in any way. The plan was for us to walk together to all the places where the children died and place a memorial plaque with the name of the respective children.

It was a simple event. It began with a passionate speech from one of the leaders of the social agencies and he talked about injustice and the need to fight for the rights of the children. After him, someone else spoke along the same lines. The message was a political one but it did not seem appropriate for the moment. For starters, most of the children died of drug abuse and three were murdered. I am not sure that in a just society such deaths would not occur. Social injustice has a role to play in the situation of the homeless, but murder and drug abuse occurs in every society. I don’t think political reform could have stopped these deaths. The problem is beyond politics. It is deals with something deeper and more profound. It is sin. We live in a sinful world. However, sin is also a religious word and the secular agencies do not have the vocabulary to address this in their discourses. They think that sin means blaming the victims. This would be a narrow view of the concept. The broader view gives a more realistic view of life. Not everything can be solved by social and political reforms.

In the speeches that were made, the names and lives of the children and teens were hardly mentioned. It is strange that they would be even forgotten in an event to remember them. I don’t think this was deliberate, but I think that social agencies have very little to say when someone dies. However, those who knew and loved these children and teens were not there for a political event but they wanted to know about their loved ones now. They wanted a message of hope for them. Politics has nothing to say to those who have died.

The event ended with planting of all the Crosses in the area where the last boy died in December. For many, perhaps the Cross was just used to mark the graves. However, for us, it reminded us why we are here. It is the power of this symbol that has brought us to this place. The Cross reminded us that there is a gracious God who resurrected His Son to shine His light in this world even though the world did not deserve Him. The Cross is not about who we are or what we have done but it is about Him who is able and willing to overcome death and changed its meaning forever.

As we begin this Holy Week, I am reminded of the importance of the Cross in our work. It changes our message and approach in our ministry. We are not here to push for political reforms. Our world view makes us realize that politics is helpless in the face of deep human problems, just as Pontius Pilate was helpless to change the fate of Jesus. No one could change the helplessness or powerlessness of humanity at the feet of the Cross except for the One who hung on it. He is the One who is able to bring hope even in a seemingly hopeless situation. Seeing the field covered with Crosses reminded me that death does not have victory over Grace.

Crosses to remember those who have passed away.

Crosses to remember those who have passed away.

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Remembering and Forgetting

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 3:13-14

The growth process of Life is a process of forgetting and remembering. Consequently, if we hold on to the things which we are to forget and let go of those that are essential for us to remember, then our growth can be become paralyzed. The question is how do we discern the difference.

The above verses were the foundation of our reflection before returning to missions. We have served in this same area before. We came back to this ministry with many good and bad memories from our experiences in the past. They are both capable of holding us back if we don’t discern which ones to forget. Some bad memories can help us become better people and some good memories can hold us back from doing better and greater things with our lives. Now, God was calling to do something new and we needed to decide what to forget and what to remember.

Our first experience working with the street children was a very positive experience. We had a wonderful team and we developed a working philosophy that responded to the needs of the homeless at that particular time. The children and teens were open and receptive to us. They recognized our presence as a spiritual force to help them make the transition out of the streets. This was exactly our goal then. In our minds, we have this wonderful image of our past experience and how much of it based on reality, we can never tell. Nevertheless, Mary and I would describe it as one of the best times of our lives. However, it would be mistake to hold on these memories and attempt to recreate them in our present situation. Many things have changed. We cannot impose the same working philosophy in our ministry as we did twenty years ago. The children and teens are different. Society has changed. We have changed. We remember the good things of the past, but we need to forget them as well. We remember them to remind ourselves where we came from, but we need to forget them so that we don’t try to recreate the past in the present. The present holds something new for us.

No experience in life is complete without bad experiences. We look back in the past and remember mostly good times because we want to forget the bad times. I don’t even feel like writing about them at this moment. However, I do remember them vividly. I wish that by not talking about them maybe they will go away. Unfortunately, they are still lurking somewhere in my past and waiting for the opportunity to come out and instill fear in my heart. I have come to realize that maybe I should not forget these moments and put them in their context. They cannot harm me. I am still here. This means these negative experiences did not hinder me from being where I am today. More important than this, God has helped me overcome these moments. It does not mean that I escaped the pain and suffering which is part and parcel of a negative experience. However, they lack the power to destroy the person that God wants me to become. This is the part I need to remember. I cannot remember this without recalling the negative experiences. I had the privilege of knowing some wonderful people who suffered in the concentration camps during the war. They remember the horrific experience vividly, but in their remembering, they reveal a strength that is able to overcome all the odds. They have the courage to remember because of this strength and it is the same strength that makes them move to conquer greater victories in life.

Our children and teens are not living in the streets because they are rebellious or poor. They are in the streets because of a trauma they experienced. Most of them want to forget this. They want to just remember the good times and they attempt to recreate the good times through artificial means. Yesterday, Igor shared with us about his parents for the first time. He said that he has no recollection of his father. He has never even seen the picture of his father. As for his mother, he said that he remembers her clearly even though he was eight years old when she was murdered. He remembers every detail of her face. He also remembers the details of his life in the streets and the times he spent in detention centers. He remembers the harsh and negative words spoken to him. He remembers the looks people gave him when he walked in a store. He remembers the rejection and the hatred. He remembers meeting us in the streets. He remembers the things we said to him. He remembers too many things. Some of them might become a burden for him to live in the present and move towards to future. He needs to forget some things and only remember those things that are necessary for his growth.

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Love is a Gift

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

We just received news that Igor was fired from his job.

Seemingly, everything was going well. Igor liked his job and was beginning to get excited about his future. He even considered going to night school to complete his high school education. Then suddenly, we received this disturbing news. We did not hear this from him directly. One of his friends told us about it. We walked past where he worked and sure enough, he was not there. We went home little sad and disappointed that day. We wanted the best for Igor and this job was the right step towards this direction. Now, we were concerned that he might give up on everything.

We went to the project where Igor was living the very next day. As usual, we waited in the lobby as the staff went to get him. Then we heard some footsteps coming down the stairs and it was Ana Paula. She greeted us with a broad happy smile and sat down beside us. We were little surprised by her cheerfulness. We asked her about Igor’s job and she did not appear to know that Igor got fired. She thought that he had given up on his work. After a brief moment of silence, she asked us a surprising question. She wanted to know if we liked Igor. We were a little taken aback. I told her that I hoped that it was obvious. Then she rephrased her question. She wanted to know if we considered him like a son. This was still a strange question and I was trying to read between the lines. I think that she is intrigued by our relationship with her and Igor. She was trying to figure out what motivates us to care about them.

Ana Paula wanted to know if we are especially interested in them because we do not have any children. She was trying to find out if we were fulfilling our paternal desire by caring for them. Well, we are old enough to be their parents. However, paternal desires did not bring us to Brazil. It was something more profound and special. However, at that particular moment I was at a loss of words to express exactly why we are concerned and desire the best for her and Igor. Unfortunately, before we could bring this interesting conversation to an end, Igor came down and the subject was changed almost immediately. We were curious as to why he lost his job.

Igor missed a day of work without informing his boss. He said that he had a good reason. He went to pick up his two year old daughter for the weekend. Ana Paula and Igor lost custody of their child when they were living in the streets. Recently, they gained visitation rights on the weekends. This is just trial period. If they are able to honor these visits for a period of time, the judge might grant them full custody when they move to a place of their own. This is their goal. For Igor, this is one of the most important goals of his life. Unfortunately, Igor does not understand how employment works. He does not know how to prioritize his time, as well as his responsibilities as an employee. I cannot really say that he doesn’t know how to do it because this would imply that he is disorganized. This is not the case. Igor is not aware of what he needs to do as an employee. He knows how to do the work but about the relationship between an employee and employer, he has no idea. He thinks of his employer as a friend. All his life, his relationships are based on friendships. He has never had a relationship with his parents; they died when he was eight and everyone he knows are his friends. He does not understand the concept of having varieties of relationships.We take these things for granted, but most of us learn these things through examples of our parents. One of the roles of parents is to teach us how to relate to the world.

Igor knows how to survive in the streets. In the streets, what was in front of him took precedence. Everyone living in the streets understood this. Naturally, Igor thought that his boos would understand as well. He was disappointed when his boss fired him. He thought that his boss was unreasonable. It was not the right time to tell Igor that he was wrong. It was just time to listen. We have to listen to know what Igor knows and doesn’t know. We can only be his guide if we allow him to show us how to do it.

Ana Paula was perceptive. Igor needs parent-like figures to help him navigate in this world. Perhaps, this is why she asked us if we thought of them as our children. They both need some parental guidance. However, we are not here to be their parents even though this might be the role for this particular period of their lives. One day, they will not need us in this role and we hope that we can still be part of their lives. Our relationship is not defined by roles but it is defined by a gift. This gift does not have a time limit or a specific role. This gift is a gift that keeps expanding. This gift is none other than Love.

We did not generate this gift. We received this gift and each gift comes with a certain responsibility. This is why sometimes it is harder to give away something than to sell it. When we buy something, we don’t have any responsibility to the one who sells it to us. However, Love can only be received as a gift. We cannot receive it without being inspired by its Giver. The Giver shares His gift openly and generously to the world. He gives the gift so that we can do the same. The gift itself becomes more meaningful and powerful each time we share it. In fact, its true value is only appreciated when we share it. Each time we share it, we discover its magnitude and intensity. It opens our eyes to see the beauty of the Giver present in the lives of others. It is not our desire to fulfill certain roles that brought us here. It is this gift that enables us to see the beauty and power of the Great Gift-giver working in the lives of Igor and Ana Paula.

I am not sure that Ana Paula would understand my answer. This answer is perhaps just for me to understand what motivates me to be here.

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Not Aiming for Happy Endings

“I can be happy with some of the things that I have achieved recently but I am not going to fool myself as well. I know that my happy ending is not to be found in this life. There are many challenges ahead of me. I have many battles to face and I know that I have to face them alone because they waged in my soul. It is good to know that I can know person of Jesus in this life and I don’t have to wait until the next life to see Him. He has been my comfort and counsellor and the strength that is going to help me go beyond my limitations.”- Janaina Prado

Janaina recently posted this on Facebook. Her post reveals the loneliness of her life journey but it is not a loneliness that leads to desperation and hopelessness. She has already walked this path before. Her loneliness is now leading her to the path of solitude; a path of self-discovery.

I remember one specific conversation I had with Janaina about 17 years ago. She was 14 then. She told me about the time she was almost adopted. She was living in an orphanage when a couple from Germany wanted to adopt her. According to Brazilian law, they had to fly to Brazil to meet her before the process was finalized. It was love at first sight for the woman. Janaina said that the feeling was mutual. However, she was not ready to leave her brothers behind. Nothing could convince her to agree with the adoption. Even though she was only eight at that time, the Brazilian law respected the sentiments of the child in the adoption process. Consequently, the family gave up on the process. They could not bear to separate the young girl from her siblings. However, the woman adopted Janaina as her daughter in her heart and never lost contact with her. Unfortunately, her brothers left the orphanage leaving Janaina behind. She eventually ran away and ended up in the streets. Her life in the streets led to drug addiction and her condition went from bad to worse. In her conversation with me, she said that she regretted not leaving with the family to Germany. She imagined her life would have been better if she had taken the bold step and agreed with the adoption. Most people would agree with her. If her story was a fairy tale, we would say that she lived happily ever after in Germany with her kind adopted parents. The people who wanted to adopt her were kind and good people. However, this does not mean that her life would have been a bed of roses in Germany.

We will never know if her life would have been better in Germany. It would have been different. She would have been financially better off and perhaps have a middle class lifestyle. Maybe she might have gone to college and even have a well-paying job. Maybe she might not have learned to overcome the loneliness and discover her solitude with God. Maybe she would never discover the strength to overcome the battles waged in her soul.

Aristotle said that the chief aim of life is live a complete and fulfilled life. According to him, virtues guide us in this path of self-discovery. Material goods and even a comfortable life do not bring us closer to discover this fulfilled life. In many cases, they could be an obstacle. What we define as a happy ending may not necessarily mean the person is on the path of self-discovery. In the conventional sense, it just usually means that they are living a comfortable middle-class lifestyle. However, life has more to offer than this. Janaina is on the path of discovering this and she realizes that she does not need a happy ending to do it.

The joy of her journey is to know for sure that she has everything she needs to live a complete and fulfilled life. She also knows that her life does not just end here but the time here is just part of the journey. Her close and real relationship with Jesus is the answer to help her engage and overcome the inner battles waged in her soul. She knows that she cannot do it by herself and only the strength that comes from the person of Jesus is going to help her. This is not knowledge that has been passed onto her. Her post on Facebook comes from a personal self-discovery. No pastor could have articulated it so perfectly as she did. She wrote this out of her own personal experience.

Someone once asked me what do we consider as a success in our ministry. I would point to Janaina. I would love for the children and teens we know today in the streets to one day discover what Janaina wrote on her Facebook. For us, this would be success. We don’t need a happy ending. We desire that the children and teens discover together with us the path to a fulfilled life.

A Happy Reunion

A Happy Reunion

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Waiting for the Right Time

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”- Mark 1:15

Recently, I watched a youtube instructional video on playing the classical guitar. The very first instructions were to just hold the guitar without playing its strings. This was quite hard because my first instinct is to start strumming on the strings. Just as I was trying to resist the temptation to do this, the instructor said that the problem with many students is that they want to play immediately when they grab the guitar. He seemed to be looking at me when he said this. According to him, this impatience leads to bad habits and poor playing. He emphasized that it was essential for us to know and understand the instrument before rushing into playing it. We were instructed to feel the strings and then to think about what we are going to do and how we are going to do it mentally. Once we get all the steps figured out mentally, only then are we ready to begin. It doesn’t mean that we are going to play beautifully right away. It just means we are ready to begin.

Jesus waited for thirty years before he preached his first sermon on the Kingdom of God. Throughout his ministry, Jesus emphasized in subtle as well as explicit ways the importance of waiting. He did not just wait passively. He submitted Himself to the process of waiting. When he was baptized against the protest of John the Baptist, Jesus said that it was the appropriate way for the time being. John was right; Jesus should be baptizing him instead. However, the waiting process demanded otherwise. Waiting can mean doing things that apparently make no sense to those around us. Jesus spent a bulk of his life as a carpenter. It is strange that there is no explicit reference to his experiences as a carpenter in his teaching. In fact, it seems like they were uneventful years. Why didn’t he start his ministry earlier and die on the Cross at a later age?

Jesus’ ministry did not end at the Cross. The Cross was the beginning of a new phase of His eternal ministry. It marked His transition from prophet and teacher to High Priest and King. As High Priest, He represents not only God to us but also He represents Humanity to God. His qualification to do this comes from the years He spent experiencing all the ups and downs of a regular human being. I guess being a carpenter is as normal as you can get during his time. Regular human life is full of challenges and struggles and everyone has their share of suffering. Jesus is not a High Priest of exceptionally complex cases. He is the High Priest of regular human beings in regular human situations.

He is a High Priest that truly understands human predicament and yet He was able to transcend it. He gives the mundane things in life a new meaning. They are not wasted experiences because they can point us to something that is eternal. Jesus saw that spending thirty years as a carpenter was important. It gave Him the tools to preach the Kingdom of God effectively to the world because He was able to see eternity in the mundane things. If we are unable to see the eternal present in the mundane things, then we won’t be able to preach the Kingdom of God effectively.

‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’-Matthew 25:23

We spend hours in our ministry apparently doing mundane things. Our children and teens are so detached from regular human society that doing these things with them brings them back into human society. However, it doesn’t just end there. These times spent with the children prepare the way for us to preach the Kingdom of God. Most important, they prepare us to discern the Eternal Presence of God in the mundane.

Our time of waiting is a time of training our eyes to see the eternal presence in the mundane.

It is easy to miss the importance of doing these mundane things in preparation to preach the gospel. One of the frustrating things for us is perhaps walking for miles searching for these children and teens. It is even worse on the days when we don’t find them. It is easy to feel as if we have wasted our time. However, occasionally some complete stranger comes to us and tells us that he has seen us walking around looking for the children and he wants to know what motivates us to do such things. The only answer we can give is that the Kingdom of God is here and we are here to testify of its goodness.

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An Open Moment

Then He also said to him who invited Him, “When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”-Luke 14:12-14

I walked with Igor to the subway station closest to our house. We walked and talked along the way like two ordinary friends. No one would have guessed that Igor was sleeping in the streets just a few months ago. Before parting our ways, he thanked me for the hundredth time for our hospitality. Then he gave me a big warm hug. I walked home feeling grateful for the things God was doing in our lives.

It has been a while since I wrote about Igor. In my previous entry, I wrote about his move to a government-sponsored halfway house called, “Hope for Autonomy”. He is still living there with his girlfriend, Ana Paula. However, many things have changed. The changes are not confined to these two. They have started a chain reaction.

In the beginning of this year, Igor found a job. The thing that made of all us extra proud of him was that he found this job on his own. Initially, Igor was passive about his job search. He was timid and afraid of rejection. Then something changed and made him take a more active posture. I am not sure what changed his attitude towards the job hunt. Maybe it was the fear of returning to the streets. He spent the final weeks of December going around small businesses looking for short-term employment. Finally, someone gave him a chance and ironically it was a small business located about hundred meters away from where Igor used to sleep in the streets. The company delivers mineral water to businesses and residences in the area. It is hard work. Igor has to load about ten five gallon containers in a trolley and push them to their respective destinations. There are no motorized vehicles or anything to facilitate the delivery. Everything is done through pure muscle strength. Most days he walks about three to five miles with this heavy load. It is his first job and he has just completed one month. In his first week of work, we casually walked passed his workplace and saw Igor soaking wet with his own sweat.  It was 100° F (40° Celsius). He waved at us and continued his work without saying anything. We understood. He did not want to be distracted and we walked on by.

The salary is not that great. He does not make enough for him to find a place to rent but spiritually the job is doing wonders for Igor. The other teenagers are impressed when they see Igor walking around delivering the containers of water. They see a possibility for a change as well. Some have asked for our help with documents so that they can apply for jobs. One teenager asked us if we would accompany him in his job search just to give him the confidence he lacks. They are sick of the streets and criminal life. They want to have a honest job even if it doesn’t pay much. This new desire came about by seeing one of their own working.

We managed to get hold of Igor on his lunch break and we asked him about his work. He was honest and told us that it was tough but he acknowledges that it is a good start. Mary offered to continue the English lessons with him if he desired. He told us honestly that when he goes home from work he just wants to rest and sleep. Then we offered him to come to our apartment once a week to have a small meal and just relax there before going home. He accepted our invitation.

It is very hard for the children or the teens to accept an invitation to anyone’s house. For them, it was stepping out of their comfort zone. We were prepared for Igor to be feel a little inhibited on his first visit here. However, we were pleasantly surprised. He appeared to be relaxed and comfortable in our home. He was curious about our books and asked about the kind of books we read. He told us about a particular book that he wanted to read and I told him that I would find it for him.

We casually talked about working life. I mentioned the importance of having a plan or project for our lives and how this would help us not to be discouraged when things are tough. He listened intently. Our conversation slowly drifted to the Bible. He was very curious about God and faith and I proposed that we read the Bible together on Wednesdays. He agreed and he said that he wanted to continue with the English lessons as well.

His second visit took place this week. He was more relaxed this time. He shared about his work and conversations with fellow workers. He was more open and communicative than before. We did a brief English lesson and then read a small section of the gospel of Matthew. It was not a passive Bible study, the kind where I talk and everyone listens. Igor contributed his thoughts and he shared from his experience on how he understood God was working in his life. We ended the Bible study with the understanding that all of us have something to learn from each other. We were all humbled as well as edified by the active presence of God in our lives.

For me personally, it was amazing to see the progress of our relationship with Igor. When we met him for the first time, he had just gotten out of Juvenile detention center. He was sniffing paint thinner and robbing. Now, he is reading the Bible together in our apartment. Life is unpredictable. We don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring us. We don’t what is in store for Igor. The future does not belong to us. God has given us the present moment. At this moment, Igor is open to receive the eternal things from God and we are happy that we are part of it.

Links to previous posts on Igor:

Hope for Autonomy

Igor Has an Address

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