Then his lord summoned him and said to him, “You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow-slave, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he should pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35

Bruna did not speak to us for a whole year, maybe even more than that. By then, the issue which triggered everything seemed trivial and irrelevant. It was over something banal to start off with but apparently not for her. It was because of a letter, which was a good thing in itself. Someone from Florida wrote to her on her birthday. I was reading it to her and was a little annoyed that she was sniffing paint thinner while listening. I asked her to put it away. Unexpectedly, she grabbed the letter from my hand and stuffed it into her bag and gave me the silent treatment for a year. She spoke to Mary once in a while. However, since we are a package deal, eventually she avoided us altogether. Another teen told me that she held a grudge with him over something trivial for years. Finally, one day she came over and started talking to us as if nothing had happened. She tried to act as if everything was back to normal. She continues to be affectionate with us. However, we know that we cannot be her true friend. There is a barrier between us. Our relationship can never go beyond the superficial.

Some might say that Bruna acted like a spoiled or pampered child. Her life tells a different story. It is not different from the many in the streets. Her childhood was one of neglect and abandonment. She spent some time in a Catholic convent. I would say that it was most probably the best period of her life. She went to school there. She claims that she even studied Latin. I am not sure about that. However, I think she was exposed to many possibilities there. It was perhaps the richest moment of her life. Unfortunately, it did not last. No one knows why. She will never tell anyone the truth about it. We see her often in the streets but her loneliness and isolation are more noticeable now. There is no one easy solution for her predicament and suffering. However, forgiveness can be the first step in the path of healing.

The parable of the unforgiving servant from the above gospel text is quite disturbing in many levels. However, the most troubling part is the end when Jesus says that we are subjected to punishment and torment if we do not forgive from our heart. It almost sounds as if Jesus is resorting to fear mongering to convince us to toe the line. It might seem that way but we need to interpret the words of Jesus according to His personhood. Jesus never uses fear as a teaching tool. Our leaders, political and religious, use fear as an effective means of controlling people. However, Jesus was never like the authorities of this world. Jesus confronted reality as it presents itself. It is impossible for us to understand God’s grace and love if we refuse to forgive someone. Consequently, we subject ourselves to the pain and torment which comes with being unforgiving. Bruna’s little problem with us was not due to the trivial matter which triggered it. It is something deeper. It is rooted in her traumatic past. There is no way we can undo this in her life. However, she can be free from it if she forgives from her heart. It is not going resolve everything but it will open her heart to receive and perceive wonderful and beautiful things.

It would be easy for me from the outside to tell Bruna that she should forgive. I have never experienced the things she had experienced. From a young age, she was convinced that being homeless was better than all the alternatives life had offered to her. I have never been in such a position. I had many more options and living and sleeping in the streets was never one. For me personally, forgiveness, many times, is merely a question of “let bygones be bygones”, however, for our children and teens, it is forgiving people who have damaged and ruined their whole lives. They awaiting for some sort of justice; not because they seek revenge. They desire it because they want the world or the universe to recognize that they are innocent victims. Some might say something disparaging like this is a victim mentality. Besides adding insult to injury, this statement does not provide any productive nor creative insight. Our children want to be healed and they believe that perhaps some sort of justice might be the beginning of it.

We do not have to be homeless like our children and teens to appreciate this. We want some sort of justice when we see or hear about something which has upset the personal order of our lives. We want justice so that things can go back to normal or restore our sense of order. In this world, we are taught that the only way justice can be fulfilled is through some sort of punitive measure where the offender is forced to recognize the error of one’s ways. Sometimes we bring our idea of forgiveness within this framework. At best, we say that we will only forgive if the offending party is remorseful and repentant; at worse, we want them to suffer for the consequence for their actions. However, the gospel is proposing something completely different. Jesus forgave all those who wronged Him even when they were mocking Him while He did this. He did not wait for them to repent or be remorseful. He forgave them and asked God not to hold them accountable for the murder of God Incarnate. There can not be anything worse than this crime. However, Jesus came to establish justice in this world. It is different from the punitive justice as the world offers. Definitely, it is more effective. For starters, it truly heals the victims and restores their dignity. Punitive justice just creates more victims and despair. However, I am not advocating that we abolish the penal system or anything like that. Those are completely different issues and deserve their own discussions. I am saying here is that Jesus is our example and He forgives unconditionally.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

Forgiving someone does not mean that we stop seeking justice. It does not mean that we stop acknowledging the wrong which has been done to us. It means that we put aside the world’s way of dealing with injustice and embrace the New Life Jesus is offering to us. The purpose of justice is to restore and heal. Being unforgiving keeps us captive in the situation which robbed us of our peace and stability. The parable of the servant is a tragic tale which happens much too frequently in society. It happens with families. It destroys lifelong friendships. Worse of all, it destroys us. It prevents us from living a full life. It hinders us from receiving salvation and the biblical meaning of salvation is healing.

Once a homeless youth asked me if I would be able to forgive someone who tries to destroy my life. He told me that honestly he was not sure if he could do it. I thought about it. I told him that our nature is to protect ourselves even if it means harming the person who tries to hurt us. However, I have to decide to forgive if I want to live my life fully. I was honest with him. I told him that I do not know how I would act at the precise moment but I do want to forgive. The boy was surprised. He thought that everyone wants revenge to right a wrong done to them. He is right. In many situations, we can be justified feeling this way. However, it is not going to bring healing to our lives. It will bring a series of sickness and eventually death but never joy and fulfillment.

I thought about his question more. Then I remembered many years ago, perhaps nine years ago, a crazed woman doused gasoline on me and tried to set me on fire. The woman did not know what she was doing. She was having a psychotic episode and this happened while we were with the children in the streets. I saw her the next day in her normal state and she smiled at me and said that I had nice hair, completely oblivious to the fact that she tried to burn it off the day before. It was quite a joy to be able to say to her, “Thank you” without feeling hatred nor anger towards her. These feelings would have eaten away in my soul and fed the demon called hatred who is lurking somewhere in the depths of my being. Forgiveness has freed me from this demon but it is not a one time event. It is a lifestyle. This demon keeps trying to pop out but I have to remind myself that forgiveness is the way to understand and appreciate the depth of salvation. In the past few weeks, this reminder came in very handy.

Jesus said, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

This text is particularly hard to interpret for our daily lives. We might be tempted to think that it pertains solely to the hierarchy of the institutional church. It also seems to allude to an antiquated idea of excommunication. Once upon a time, it was an effective practice. The one disciplined automatically became an outcast without a community nor a home. Today, if someone were to suffer excommunication from a church, one just simply has to cross the street and join another church without any problems. Most of the time, they would be welcomed with open arms in their new church. However, if we could step away from these disturbing and ungracious images of history and look at these verses from the perspective of love, we find something relevant and practical in them. No doubt it requires us first to change a little bit of our mindset. We need to think differently about the word, “church”.

The main reason we go to church is because we want to recognize and acknowledge the presence of Jesus in our daily lives. This is really the primary purpose. If our community engages in other activities beside this primary task, then it fails its vocation. Recently, we spoke with one of homeless youth, Rone, who always gives a part of the money he receives to the church. It is a practice which he has kept for many years. However, he is very particular about the church where he contributes. He likes a certain church because, according to him, they talk about God. He added that there are many churches which hold church meetings but only few celebrate Jesus. From this, I understand that celebrating Jesus meant sensing a connection with Him. Maybe this young man might have a different meaning for it. However, I have an inkling that we are on the same page.

As we grow in our understanding of Him, we realize that we can see Him clearer in different places and persons outside the walls of the church building. This does not mean that we are outside the church. It means that we need to return to the biblical concept of church, more importantly, the one which Jesus talked about.

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20

At least, this is true for me personally. In the streets among the homeless children and teens, we have discovered a new form of church life. There is no church membership nor a regular worship service or any form of liturgy that would identify us as a church in the traditional sense. We have a stripped down version of the Body of Christ. It is one based strictly on relationships. The young people are free to come and talk with us. They are also free to ignore us. When someone approaches us whatever they have done or continue to do is irrelevant. They have come to join us. They come to seek a relationship with us. This is the nature of our church in the streets. The only bond that holds us together as a tiny congregation is love. This is where the problem lies.

When we choose to love, we are allowing ourselves to be open and vulnerable. We are allowing the other person to enter into our lives and have a place of abode in our hearts. Consequently, we are exposing ourselves to the possibilities of being hurt and rejected, not to mention, being disappointed and frustrated. All these things are part and parcel of being the Light and Salt of the World. It is not about standing up for principles and doctrines but it is the willingness to love and risk being hurt. Unfortunately, the possibility of being hurt and rejected is high. Sometimes we cast our pearls to swines and then they turn around and attempt to destroy us. Our Lord Himself suffered these consequences. The challenge is how do we deal with those who choose to leave and refuse to be part of the fold. I believe that Jesus is addressing this question. It is not a punitive measure but it is about loving those who reject our love.

Jesus has given us much to reflect on in the gospel reading above. A superficial reading might suggest that the whole process is very humiliating for the rebellious person. These verses are not meant to humiliate those who offend or sin against us. It is meant for us to discover whether the person really sinned against us or just did something which is offensive to our sensibilities. Our moral sensibilities are not the gospel. They are and can be influenced by various factors. They might be influenced by the culture we live in and come from. In our ministry, we discover that there are many things which disturb us but they are not essential to the gospel message. One example is the constant use of drugs among our children and teens. We find this disturbing not simply because it is wrong but mainly because we are programed by society to do so. I do think that these drugs are harmful but this is not the point here. We also tend to overlook things that Jesus said were harmful to the souls like slander, greed, and envy. We give different names to these things so that we can quietly approve these behaviors. Take greed for example, we transform it into a virtue by calling it being ambitious. We like to isolate certain “sins” and justify others. Jesus asked us to have witnesses to help us discern whether an offense is truly a sin or just our personal prejudice. However, even this is not full proof. I believe this why Jesus tells to do the most difficult thing and often times we do not realize what He is asking of us. He admonishes us to treat the person who offended us like a Gentile or a Tax collector.

As Christians, Jesus is our role model and the example to base our lives on. If we do not follow His footsteps, then we are not His followers but mere members of an institution. Jesus treated tax collectors exceptionally well. He opened Himself up to them. He dined with them. He loved them with extra care. In fact, the parable of the Good Shepherd and the Prodigal Son was an argument for His special affection towards tax collectors. As for Gentiles, we have limited examples in the gospels. We just reflected on the Syrophoenician woman who won an argument with Jesus. We have the Centurion whose faith Jesus praised. Then the beautiful story about the demon possessed man in the city of Gerasenes where the swines committed mass suicide. Jesus went out of His way to heal this man. The Pharisees always found it disturbing that Jesus gave Himself to these people without restriction. He spent more time with them than the religious authorities. He was more patient with the tax collectors than with the Pharisees and Scribes. When Jesus told us to treat the person who offended us like a Gentile or tax collector, He meant that we treat them with much love and compassion. It is not a permission to reject and despise. It is not about being punitive but a call to be more like Him to them. This is, most likely, the most difficult thing in this passage.

Perhaps I can share a story here to show how this gospel text played out in our ministry in the streets. The problem is that there are too many stories, unfortunately. There are many teens and children who once had deep relationship with us and now they avoid us. It is not that there was a disagreement between us. It is the fact that they sense in their hearts that the things they are doing are shameful. We never pointed it out to them. It wasn’t necessary. However, Jesus tells us to treat them like Gentiles and Tax collector. They need the extra care, compassion, patience and love. Hopefully, one day all these will give them the courage to return to the fold. I am not sure if it will happen to be honest. Real life is never like the fairy tales. Nevertheless, it does not change how we should treat them. This is what Jesus wants us to do and He is our perfect example for a living a life of Love.

And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, ‘God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.’ But Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling-block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’ Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.’ Matthew 16:22-25

Poor Peter. I can totally sympathize with him. His words were seasoned with good intentions. One could say that Jesus’ reaction was a little harsh. Maybe it was necessary. Peter and the disciples had to learn that the world’s ways of achieving things has nothing to do with the Kingdom of God. According to the world, Peter was right. The Messiah is supposed to be the greatest King among kings and not to die a shameful death. The whole episode is very similar to the temptations of Jesus in the desert. The devil through Peter was proposing an alternate way of establishing God’s Kingdom; suggesting that He considers other possible means of doing things. Jesus had to be harsh and curt with Peter. There was no room for negotiating with the deceptive ways of the devil. Nevertheless, Peter must have felt crushed.

At first Jesus told him that he was going to be the rock upon which the church would be built. In the Acts of the Apostles, Peter became the rock for the church. His leadership helped the disciples cross ethnic boundaries and paved the way for the inclusion of the Gentiles. Peter was elevated to a status of a leader and then. Jesus addressed him as Satan.

“It is great men, potential saints, not little men, who become those who are readiest to kill for it” C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms.

Violence and murder and all kinds of atrocities are committed in the Name of God all the time. We may say that these are really evil people who use religion as a guise for their evil intentions. However, this is not always true. They start with saintly intentions and then the values of this age slowly slip in and contaminate their souls. This is why a harsh rebuke was necessary. It was essential that Peter and the disciples did not contaminate their souls with the world. If not, they would become salt that has lost its saltiness and essentially be worthless to humanity.

According to Jesus, Satan is someone who sets his mind on human things. This is quite a curious thing. After all, aren’t we all humans and therefore, prone to think about human things naturally? Our homeless children living in the streets have these needs too. Sometimes, they impel them to steal and use drugs and in some cases, they allow themselves to be exploited. They do not resort to crime to buy bread. Food is one of the easiest things to get. Most people will give food willingly to someone who begs for it. Crime is committed by our children and teens to fulfill their need for recognition. It is the only way they become visible in society. It is the deep rooted desire of every human being to be acknowledged as a member of a society whether it is positive or negative.

We are social animals. We have a natural instinct to belong to a group. The homeless youth are not any different. They will do anything to belong to a group. One can say that their use of drugs is not entirely due to addiction but mainly motivated by the need to belong to a group. Incidentally, all our teens and children who have left the streets have abandoned cocaine or other hard drugs without any difficulty. Almost none of them attend any special treatment program. However, they find it difficult to leave the group to which they once belonged. Therefore, we can understand why Peter thought all the talk about death was horrifying. It is the ultimate separation from every social group. He wanted the Kingdom of Jesus to be recognized and acknowledged by everyone. He desired that it would become the most powerful among others. He was willing to use whatever means necessary to achieve this. He even promised to do so on several occasions and went as far as to cut off the ear of a person whom he deemed as a threat. Peter was not all talk. He was a man of action. Jesus had to stop him before he got started.

Jesus came to establish an eternal Kingdom whose values are not compatible with the limited mindset of this temporal world. This creates more problems for us. We are of this world whether we like it or not, we think and act like people who live in this reality. Perhaps the first step is for us to recognize this. When we acknowledge Jesus as our Christ it doesn’t mean we are automatically free from the mindset of this world. Peter wasn’t and He needed a harsh rebuke to be reminded of this fact. Sometimes, maybe more often than not, we need to have strong rebukes to be reminded that our minds need to be transformed.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

The world is constantly bombarding us with its values; perhaps now more than ever with each technological innovation. Our minds are never free from its diabolic influence. Recently, our conversation with Bruno touched on the subject of generosity. I don’t know how we got there but this is how things are in the streets. We cannot control the subjects that come up. I shared about a famous singer who died not too long ago. This man was quite a curious person. He once used to sing raunchy songs and many times his lyrics were extremely explicit. Later on in his career, he changed his style and, nevertheless, he maintained formidable success with his music. When he died, it was revealed that he had become a devout Christian over the years. Many people came forth and shared that he helped them financially when they were in dire straits. He paid for someone’s surgery and helped a widowed woman among many things. However, he always told these people that he did not want them to disclose his generosity to anyone. He told them that Jesus said that our left hand should not know what the right hand is doing when it comes to acts of love. After his death, these people decided to go public. Bruno thought that it was strange and even bad that he did not want anyone to know about his good works. I was a little taken aback. I thought that the singers desire to be anonymous would impress him. Then I understood. Bruno’s understanding of life comes from his interactions with people. He formulates his ethics through his conversations with them. Every time an organization comes to the streets to do charitable work whether it is a church or some other institution, tons of photos are taken and their acts are filmed. Then images appear in the social media. They claim that this serves to motivate others to do the same. There are a range of reasons for their publicity. However, there are the words of Jesus and we need to do something about them. I am not saying that we should stop all this but we need to consider the words of Jesus. The Kingdom of God is not established through the means of the world. We cannot ignore how the Christ lived in this world and think that we can improve on the spread of His message by using our worldly methods. We might be just walking into the snares of the devil. The worst of it was that Bruno thought that there was something wrong with this singer’s attitude. It was so foreign to his reality that something Jesus said appears to be wrong. It is not Bruno’s ethic which is corrupted but he has not seen the values of the Messiah lived out in concrete form.

Maybe Bruno’s reaction is a rebuke from the Holy Spirit. It opened my eyes. Peter went on to become a saint who suffered many other rebukes on the way. The most amazing thing about Peter is that he listened each time. He did not leave Jesus because he was called Satan. I can not see this term as anything but an offensive one. However, Peter knew Jesus had the words of Eternal Life (John 6:68). He endured the harsh words of Jesus because he knew that they had Life. The question is whether we are able to listen and endure the rebukes which come our way. I guess we have to be convinced like Peter that the words of Jesus have eternal Life. Only then, we will be willing to listen to the rebukes to renew our minds and be transformed in the way of our thinking.

Jesus said to them, ‘But who do you say that I am?’ Simon Peter answered, ‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’ And Jesus answered him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven.’ Matthew 16:15-17

In Jesus’ time, there were many who were considered to be miracle workers, healers, prophets, and even messiahs. Some were charlatans but many were sincere. They even paid for their convictions with their lives. Many who followed Jesus around and witnessed His acts and listened to His teachings believed that He was one of these. Probably they thought he was one of the best but He wasn’t the Christ for them.

In today’s world, we still have miracle workers, we call them scientists. They have done incredible work. They can take mountains and move them into the ocean. They are also like sages. They can explain the mysteries and marvels of the universe. We have our healers. These are doctors, therapists, and surgeons. They have saved millions from sickness, disease and self-destruction. Even the preachers who claim to heal the sick and lame in a supernatural manner rush themselves to the hospital to be attended by these modern healers when they themselves are sick. We have our modern prophets, too. These come in all shapes and forms. Most of them have something relevant and concrete to say and we should listen to them with much discernment, naturally. Of course, we have our messiahs, too. The government, the school and the church are vying for this role in society. Many believe that a certain politician or better still, political ideology, or an educational system will save humanity from its downward spiral.

Among all these, the question of Jesus is asked of us; “Who do you say I am?” Or in other words, what role does Jesus play in our lives?

The problem with this question is that we are liable to give a conventional answer. Most of us have been catechized in the church. We know the right and proper answer to give. Jesus was expecting something beyond a simple right or wrong answer. He deliberately chose the location to do it; in a district named after the authoritative power of the reigning empire. Some historians say that it was customary for them to have an image of the emperor in these regions. The Roman Empire was perhaps the most excellent empire at that period. The Caesar was considered and identified himself as the savior for the world. Many Roman citizens were convinced that the empire was the best and most wisest thing to happen to the world. Even the Jewish authorities wanted to be keep things as they are because they were satisfied with the arrangement. Apparently, there was no real need for the Messiah at that moment. The Crucifixion made this attitude quite evident.

Jesus asked this question in the midst of the glory and splendor of what the world offered. Our Lord was the complete opposite of the powers and authorities of His society. This is true today, too. He is completely the opposite of everything we consider to be successful, even in religious circles. He asked his disciples if they were able to see something different in Him. This was not a question posed to the masses. It was asked of disciples who had seen Jesus in all His vulnerable moments. They had seen Him hungry and thirsty, lonely and feeling abandoned, angry and frustrated. They had seen Him run and hide when the Pharisees wanted to arrest Him. Something the world would have perceived as fear but the disciples knew better. Jesus operated on different values. They knew Him more intimately than any of us could ever know Him. They followed Him without knowing how all this was going to end. Obviously all the disciples had different reasons for following Jesus. James and John saw it as their opportunity to be great. Others might have seen something to help them get out of their mundane lives. Judas had his reasons too, which we will never know. Peter was the only one who had the audacity to confess that He was and is the Christ.

The problem is that this title has been trivialized today. Many use this term as if it is the surname of our Lord. Many do not know its true meaning even in religious circles. However, Peter knew the full implication of this term. The Christ was the finality of all things essential for life. There was no need to wait for anything else or anyone else to reveal the Truth. As St Paul later expressed this same idea more succinctly in his letter,

“Christ is all and in all.” (Col. 3:11)

Just to bring this verse into context, it was proclaimed in the context of a debate where the inclusion of other peoples was disputed. Paul reminded that Christ was sufficient and there was no need to make any more demands to include people. This was Paul’s most intimate understanding of the meaning of Christ. We should not forget that when he was a Pharisee, he initiated the persecution of the followers of Jesus because they were going to include Gentiles into the fold. Paul met the Christ and realized that He sufficed and there was no longer anything else needed.

Many follow Jesus for various reasons. However, He cannot be our Christ unless our souls are touched by the Holy Spirit. There are no doctrines, liturgy nor rituals to achieve this. The “Christ” of Jesus cannot be safeguarded by the church. It belongs eternally to Jesus and only can be made alive in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. It doesn’t mean that once we have this realization we automatically become saints. Peter went from being nominated “Pope”, as the Roman Catholic tradition believes, to being called “Satan”. There is a danger of those who discover the Christ to confuse their union with His Spirit as an exclusive right to His movements. The greatest of our saints in the Christian tradition were aware of this. This is why in their writings we often read about their deep self awareness of their weaknesses. This is not self condemnation. Maybe it was in some cases but more often than not, it was a deep awareness that their spiritual fervor could become something diabolical if it was not seasoned with wisdom and humility.

Peter embarked on a journey where he discovered what it meant to recognize Jesus as Christ. He was the one who bravely led the first church to step out of the confines of Judaism and open the doors of fellowship to the Gentiles. He opened himself to listen to the Holy Spirit even when it meant leaving behind the traditions of his ancestors. Peter allowed the reality of Christ to grow in Him. He was not perfect by any means but we can see perfectly how he lived his life for the Christ.

We are often asked what we do for the children and teens in the streets. We do a lot of different things for different individuals. However, the truth is whatever we do is not going to change their situation and circumstance radically. Most of them will always be homeless or at least living at the borders of homelessness all their lives. Maybe a few might find a way out. These are the exceptions. Most of our children will have children who will end up living in the streets like them. We have seen three generations in homeless situations. This may sound like a tragic and hopeless situation for many because it is. It is best to face reality because we cannot discover the true message of the gospel unless we confront it.

It is in these circumstances that we hear Jesus asking us, “But who do you say I am?” The answer cannot be formulated in mere words. It is a lifestyle. If we say that Jesus is Christ, then there is no need to wait for anyone or anything else to happen. He is the finality of all things necessary to live a full and good life. Of course, there are political and social battles to be fought. I am not denying this. However, none of these battles can change the lives of our homeless children and teens. None of these victories can bring hope and peace in their hearts. The only thing can bring meaning to their existence is knowing in their most intimate being that Jesus is Christ. This is entirely the work of the Holy Spirit. We are here to testify that He is indeed Christ even in the most desperate and hopeless situation. It is not easy to say this in the midst of their circumstances. It might seem inadequate and even a little embarrassing. There are some who think that this is too spiritual and not practical enough. People who think this do not understand what it means to say Jesus is Christ. It means engaging tough situations without waiting for anyone or anything else to happen. It means having the courage to be the Light of Love even in the darkest places where hatred strives. It is not shrugging our responsibilities but Christ gives the courage to assume them completely. Peter paved the way for us. In this way, he is truly the rock of our church. He had the courage to proclaim Jesus as Christ. He showed us that regardless of what confronts us, Jesus suffices because He is truly the One and Only Christ.

But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ Jesus answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly. Matthew 15:25-28

Last week I wrote about a traumatic moment we experienced or rather, I shared about the emotional and spiritual aftermath. On our walk home after the fact, we were talking and processing our feelings and thoughts. To add insult to injury to an already bad day, it started to rain unexpectedly. Of course, we were without our umbrellas. The closest place with a shelter was an old cinema which has been converted into one of those prosperity gospel churches. They have a gift shop at one side and a woman stood outside its entrance selling cakes and coffee to church attendees or any passerby. There was an awning just above her and we stood under it waiting for the storm to pass.

A crack addict came up to the woman and asked if he could have a piece of cake. She did not reply to him but just shook her head to say no. The young man apologized for asking and just said that he was hungry. I was looking at this young man. He had a kind and friendly face. He did not look as bad as the other crack addicts. Most of the addicts are so lost in their own world that they lack the necessary social etiquette to interact with those outside their context. This young man was different. He did not insist when the woman refused to give him cake and was good natured about it. The woman was making a living. I suppose that she could not afford to give everyone free food although I think she could have been more pleasant about it. Momentarily, I forgot about all bad things which had happened and thought about buying something for this young fellow. I searched through my pockets to see if I had any change. Just then, the young man asked us if we could buy a piece of cake. He really looked hungry. I asked the lady how much the cake cost. Thankfully we had enough for it and a little more. I asked her to give him a piece. Strangely, she responded curtly saying that she only accepted cash payments. For some reason she was annoyed with us. The young man thanked us and starting devouring the cake. I asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee too. He nodded. We had the exact change for coffee and cake. Another crack addict arrived and asked if we could buy him a cake too. I told him that I did not have enough money for him. The young man divided his piece of cake and shared it with the newcomer. Then he took a sip from his coffee and gave the rest to this man. Before leaving, he thanked us again and went to a corner to sit down. The rain slowly subsided and we made our way home. Darkness and chaos tried to dominate our minds but we saw the powerful presence of Light prevailing.

Many judge the crack addicts by what they put into their bodies. They are deemed as thieves and criminals because of their addictions. In our personal experience living in close proximity where these poor souls hang out, I have never encountered nor seen any criminal act perpetrated by them. I am not saying that they are safe. They are unpredictable because of their mental state. They need help. More importantly, they need a heavy dose of love and compassion, not judgement and condemnation. The acts of violence we have seen and this time experienced were always committed by people who would be welcomed with open arms in any given church. Crack addicts and homeless people are not usually deterred from entering any church but they would not be welcomed in the same sense. If we are honest, we always feel a little unease with the presence of someone who doesn’t fit our idea of a “normal” attendee even when our spiritual sensibilities tell us that we should accept everyone and anyone. Most of us just ignore these feelings, sometimes pretending they don’t exist. In other times, we can even justify them. However, our Lord is different. He confronts them, not just in others but even in Himself.

The woman in the gospel story was a person who caused uneasiness among her Jewish neighbors. She was an outsider despite the fact that she lived among them and spoke their language. She had different dietary habits which they considered to be unclean. In other words, she was the “crack addict” of her society. People like her were often referred pejoratively as dogs because these animals eat anything. Dogs, in Jesus’ society, were tolerated vermin. Tolerated only because they provided some sort of protection to those who fed them. However, they were still vermin and people preferred if they did not exist altogether. Some preachers commit the sin of anachronism by saying that Jesus referred to her affectionally as “little dog”. Calling someone a dog in Jesus’ society was always an insult and never a term of endearment.

It could be argued that Jesus was being rude or racist or we could say that he was a complete human being. Our confessional creed reminds us that Jesus was fully human as well as divine. We tend to imagine that He was fully superhuman like the fantastic superheroes which seem to be the theme of every movie made presently. The problem of this mindset is that Jesus becomes a mere figure for us to admire and not imitate. However, the greatest form of worship is imitation. Someone said this and I can’t recall who. We can only imitate someone who is like us and faces the same challenges. Jesus shows the way to overcome some of the greatest barriers in humanity in order to build strong and eternal relationships. One of many dreadful traits which we, humans, possess is prejudice. We unconsciously inherit this from the community and society to which we belong. No one is free from it. It is not just about hating a person for whatever reason. Sometimes the more common way our prejudice is manifested is when we completely ignore certain people. In fact, this is the most common and worst form of prejudice. It was perfectly normal to overlook people like this Canaanite woman in Jesus’ society. There were historical and cultural and religious justifications for doing so. All these arguments were summarized in the term, “dog”. She was considered to be a like dog. Therefore, she did not deserve a place at the table with the children.

The disciples wanted Jesus to send her away. She was a nuisance and not contributing anything important to their cause. Instead, Jesus was open to her even though all the prejudices of his society informed him that she wasn’t worth his time. He did not treat her in a condescending manner. He argued with her. He believed that she was worth His time and energy. Jesus genuinely wanted to know her opinion. Consequently, this woman became the only person in the gospels to ever win an argument with Jesus.

“Even dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the Master’s table.”

This was her winning statement. For modern ears, it seems to be one wroth with self-loathing and low self esteem. One can always wonder why Jesus did not address this. There is a tragic element to this story. Unfortunately it is part of reality till today. All our modern sciences cannot solve it. It is something deep and profound. It is spiritual. When someone who has spent their whole life being called and treated like an outsider or second class citizen, they eventually accept this role just as a means of survival. No one coming from the outside will convince them that they are any different. This is true for our homeless children and youths too. Sadly, they believe and have accepted that they are discardable people. If we told them otherwise, they won’t believe us. However, this does not mean that they cannot overcome these lies. They can and will but not by persuasive arguments. There was something in this Canaanite woman informing her that she was worthy of receiving something from Jesus. Our Lord named it. It was her faith. This was more powerful than all the lies which she had heard in the past. It was more powerful than all the insults hurled at her person. Her faith gave her the confidence that she was worthy of God’s grace.

Jesus acknowledged this faith in this woman. Not by condescending to cliches and saying that she was worthy. He listened to her and acknowledged the Light of faith to shine brightly. It still shines today. Her response captivated the heart of the liturgical founder of the Anglican Church, Thomas Cranmer, who wrote the Prayer of Humble Access. It was the prayer which captivated my heart when I first stepped into the Anglican Church as a young teen. It’s role has evolved in my spirituality throughout the years. It used to be something personal and now I see it as the victory of faith over all the obstacles placed before us. I saw this faith in the young man as he shared his cake with his fellow addict. He was plagued by an illness but it did not hinder him from sharing love. We recognized his faith through his act of love and it restored our faith in humanity.

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:28-31

I like to swim but I am not a strong swimmer. I grew up in an island. There was always a body of water close to me. Unfortunately, familiarity is not knowledge, much less wisdom. The calmness and beauty of the water gave me the illusion that it was my friend. In reality, there is a force of destruction and chaos lurking beneath its deceptive appearance. Once I went swimming with a group of friends and learned my lesson the hard way. Thankfully, one of my friends is a strong swimmer and a lifeguard. She went out into the deep waters and I followed after her. Possibly my hidden chauvinism came into action. The current became too strong for me and I felt myself being dragged into the deep chaotic sea. Naturally, I panicked. It would have been a great moment for my faith to kick in and help me walk on water, not to mention the boost to my ego and self-esteem. Of course, nothing of that sort happened. Instead, I resorted to asking for help, more like screaming frantically actually. To be fair, it was a desperate situation. My friend saved my life. Only much later in life I understood that I did walk on water on that faithful day. It took some growing up and maturity to comprehend this. For many years, I thought Jesus chided Peter because he started to sink and became desperate. Now I realized that it is more because he offended Jesus. He thought Jesus was going to abandon him to the elements.

There is a magician who performs regularly in the area where the children hang out. He’s good fun but the locals, like myself and our homeless children, are kind of bored with him. He has a limited repertoire and often needs new audience to mesmerize them with his tricks. There are a lot of churches around the area too that preach a kind of faith similar to that of this magician. They claim faith can do a lot of things not unlike magic tricks. Many who attend these churches are initially entertained by these claims and eventually they realize a need for something more substantial. These churches, although abundant in the areas, do not have any outreach work or ministries to the thousands of homeless people around their doorsteps. Unfortunately, I am not exaggerating when I say thousands. This city has the largest homeless population in all of the the Americas. It is amazing that churches who make a show of healing the lame and sick do not have the faith to deal with real and concrete problems just outside their very doorsteps. Definitely, this is not the faith that Jesus is taking about. These are just mere magicians.

St Peter, maybe, was fascinated with the fact that Jesus walked on water. It is easy to be mesmerized by such an incredible act. However, it would be unfair to St Peter to think that he did not understand the deeper meaning of this act. He was a fisherman and no stranger to the destructive character of water. To walk on water was to have dominion and control over the power of destruction. He did not ask to walk on water for entertainment reasons. Peter was a pragmatic man. He desired to overcome the forces of destruction like Jesus. Unfortunately, the beast of chaos showed his fangs and the apostle panicked. He failed to see that Jesus was present there with him. He failed to recognize that he was not alone to face this chaos. God had sent someone to help him overcome it. Peter, understandably, was more familiar with the beastly waters but maybe was still a little insecure about his friendship with Jesus. We can appreciate his sentiments.

The beast showed its fangs to us this week on two occasions.

Bruno told us that one of the boys with whom we have closed relationship was in the hospital. He was beaten up badly and left for death. His name is Vinicius. I mentioned him before. I described him as the saddest homeless boy in the streets. He was born homeless. His mother was homeless and she raised five children all of them lived in tents in the streets. Today she has managed to rent a small place for the family. This is just a recent development. Vinicius knows nothing but homelessness. He just turned 18. We have had a relationship since he was 8. Sometimes he steals to help the family. It does not occur frequently and he tries not to do it. He told us this once. He purposely hangs out with Bruno because he knows he is a good influence. Bruno has many faults but he is a good influence in the chaotic streets. Unfortunately, a few days ago Vinicius stole a chain from someone who happened to be related to the gang members. They caught and beat up this skinny boy and left for death. Thankfully he was found by someone and brought to the hospital in time. The chain was worthless. The gang members were hardened criminals acting hypocritically on their demonic impulse. Vinicius miraculously survived. Ironically, the whole thing occurred just outside a police post and the authorities did not come out once to stop it. This is not uncommon.

Bruno’s world was in turmoil. He told us about the whole incident and he could not understand why Vinicius had to be tortured in such a manner. He made it clear that he recognized that Vinicius did something wrong. This is one of the things I like about working in the streets. No one tries to justify one’s actions. They recognize wrong to be wrong. I am not negating that there are complex issues involved. However, for practical daily living, we cannot move forward if we do not take responsibility for our actions. Vinicius does not deny that stealing is wrong neither does Bruno. However, he does not deserve to be beaten up and left for death. His life is worth more than a mere thing. Bruno was deeply perturbed by this and he wanted to talk. He wanted someone to help him make sense of his world which was clearly falling apart.

Bruno’s life is one of abuses and utter rejection. He has been in the streets almost his whole life. Now he is an adult. However, there is something remarkably different about him. I have to admit sometimes he frustrates me. This is a different story which might told another time. Bruno is highly intelligent but he realized that he would be nothing but a beggar for society. In many ways, he is not wrong. In spite of this, he is the most successful one among the young people. This is because he builds relationships with people. Once I told him that there are many lonely people in this world and sometimes he might be their only contact in society. Therefore, he could be a blessing to their lives by just giving them attention. Bruno listened. It is not that my words had changed him. It was always in him and he needed to hear it from someone else. Now he tries to make a connection with everyone who approaches him. Sometimes he spends more time with people who do not give him a single cent, especially elderly people. Bruno’s faith helped him construct a world to navigate through the chaotic and destructive waters of life. However, the issue with Vinicius made him feel insecure and unsure if he can really walk on water. He wanted to reach out to us. This was his faith in action.

As followers of Christ, the foundation of our faith is the person of Jesus. Peter saw Jesus doing something and his faith informed him that he could do it too. Of course, the text is meant for us to take it to a deeper existential level. The author wanted to show us the power of Jesus over chaotic elements of life. However, having faith does not mean that we are free from the menacing powers of destruction. To the contrary, we can see them more clearly. Peter felt safe in the boat because it gave him an illusion of safety. Faith in Jesus strips away all these illusions and gives us the courage to face the forces of destruction lurking around us. Bruno recognized something in us and wanted to know if we could help him to regain his confidence to keep walking on water.

Our faith helps us to recognize that we are not alone. I was being dragged into the ocean and my friendship saved me from death. At that moment, my friend the lifeguard was Jesus to me. She helped me walk on water. Bruno wanted to know if it was still save to walk on water because the forces of destruction had made him feel disgusted with life. We gave him our hand and he grabbed it.

Later in the week, it was our turn to confront the forces of destruction and chaos. It shook us to the core in such a way that I am not ready to talk about it. Suffice to say that it was made me feel like I was drowning. We walked away from the situation and ran into Bruno. This time we saw Jesus in Bruno. He listened to us and told us, “We will overcome and we will not succumb to the forces of destruction.” These are words of faith. Bruno reached out his hand to us and we grabbed it. Jesus is present in the midst of all this. He is the foundation of our faith. He beckons us to walk with Him on the waters of destructions and chaos. We just have to just pay attention to His voice and He speaks through the people we least expect. Not to worry, our faith will help us recognize His voice.

About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning. Luke 9:28-29

I received a phone message from Camila. She was a little discouraged. She had just lost her job where she had been working for the past four months or so. We have often helped her with rent for the past year but only when she wasn’t able meet her financial demands. Camila is fiercely independent. In a way, all our children and teens are independent. But there is something different about this young woman.

We met Camila in 2013 when she was about 14. We were new to the homeless youth then. Many hardly spoke to us. She was not an exception. We only had very brief superficial interactions. Before we could get to know her, she was caught for stealing and detained for about two years in the juvenile prison. Usually the ones who don’t receive any visits from family end up spending longer time incarcerated. The State considers these youth to be high risk because they have no parental influence in their lives. Camila is an orphan. The streets became her only home after her mother died. Until then her mother was her whole world. Her step father, on the other hand, is a piece of work. He is an abusive and manipulative man. She had to leave and take refuge in the streets. The other children became her family and she never forgot their acceptance of her. Her involvement in crime was more to be part of a social group than anything else. As soon as she was released, she went to register to go to school. We met her by chance when she finally had finished. She was so overjoyed with her achievement that she ran up to us and told us about her success. Maybe some reading this might find it hard to comprehend why such a thing is a feat. It is because people outside of Brazil don’t understand the bureaucratic nightmare of registering to go to school. In Camila’s case, she was doing it without any parental help. They made it difficult but she persevered and won. She told us that it was her faith which helped her. This is one of the few times she mentioned anything about her faith. Now, she is one of the handful of homeless youth who has completed her high school education.

Our relationship with Camila developed over the years mainly through chance meetings at various stages of her life. At every meeting, she shared a little bit about her life and her faith always shone through however not in the conventional manner. It was subtle and always real. Needless to say, she faced some difficult challenges. She became pregnant. Her then boyfriend comes from a family of ten who were abandoned in the streets as little children. They wanted to build a life together away from the streets. Unfortunately, unlike Camila, he couldn’t handle all the obstacles before him and went back to crime. Eventually he became a full member of one of the most dangerous gangs in Brazil. It was the cue for Camila to leave him and add being a single mother to her many challenges. We have to say that she is a very conscientious mother. Her son became a stronger motivation for her to move forward. She has met with many disappointments and one moment she was even physically assaulted. It was quite a scary moment. She was so badly hurt that we couldn’t recognize her. Thankfully, there is something strong and wonderful in this young woman who is frequently assailed by tragic circumstances. For some reason, she also says that we helped her through a lot even though we did not do much. However, I think I am beginning to understand why she says this. It is not really us. We just represent something significant to her.

Alan quietly sneaked behind Mary and grabbed her. She gave out a little shriek which made him laugh with glee. Alan has not changed since the day we met him. He was ten then and now he is twenty. He has always been a mischievous imp. Unfortunately, he got involved with crime in his late teens and spend a year in prison. He is out now and determined to stay out. There was a brief period when Alan stayed in a Catholic orphanage. He was about fifteen then. We were really surprised when we heard that he had left the streets. Among the homeless children, Alan demonstrated a jovial and carefree persona who was well situated in the streets. When he was still at the orphanage, we ran into him by chance. It is interesting how many things occur this way. He was full of joy and shared how he felt happy and complete. He shared with us that one day he was sitting alone on the steps of the Cathedral and started thinking about his life. He missed his mother who passed away when he was young. He felt a strong sense of shame and conviction that the life he was leading in the streets would have saddened her. He sat there and cried. He pleaded for God to help him and a group of Franciscan missionaries came by and offered to take him to the orphanage.

The family in charge of the orphanage wanted to adopt Alan even though he was considered an older teen. He loved and respected the family deeply. Unfortunately, he decided to abandon the place and come back to the streets. No one from the outside will understand his decision. We have an inkling; the fear of rejection. However, his fear did not remove everything from his soul. We can see from our brief encounter with him this week that something is very much alive in Alan. The Spirit which touched his soul on the steps to the Cathedral is still actively working in him. Alan gave us each a big hug full of warmth and love. He told us that he truly appreciates a photo of him which Mary gave him as present a few months ago. I think it is his way of thanking us even though we haven’t done much for him. It is not what we have done which matters really to any of these children. It is who we represent to them. This is something that God has graciously given to us. In a way, the children represent the same thing to us.

All the three gospels share the story of the Transfiguration. Obviously all the authors thought that it was a pivotal moment in the narratives about Jesus. Even so, it is not something we can interpret easily. It is not something to explain but an invitation to an encounter with the True Living Christ. It is a crucial event which needs to occur in everyone’s lives. Without it, Jesus will remain a prophet, a moral teacher and a great leader. All these are good but Jesus will never be our Savior or to use a more precise term, our Healer, with this encounter. The thing is that this event of the Transfiguration is not in the domain of any of our abilities. We cannot control where and how it occurs. There is no liturgy nor preaching style which can create the moment. It happens purely on God’s initiative and He works according to the faith of the person. When it happens, New Life is planted in us. Sometimes we need time and space to figure out how to express this New Life growing within our souls. I have seen this New Life in many of our children and teens. Many times they have difficulty in expressing the growth occurring in them. Many times the problem is that we are living in a religious society where sacred words and encounters are spoken in such a frivolous manner that someone who has experienced a real and powerful encounter is reticent to speak about it.

Once a homeless teenager told me that he “accepted” Jesus at least fifteen times. He wasn’t being flippant about it. He was just stating a fact. Every time a church comes to the streets and preaches, most of the children and teens respond positively to the altar call. In their minds, they consider it an abomination to say “No” to Jesus. They say “yes” to Him every time without really considering what they were doing. People from the churches never return after the event and our children feel like they have accepted Jesus without really knowing what to do with this. Inadvertently, any conversation about an encounter with Jesus becomes banal and superficial. However, the Transfiguration is not a common place event. It is something powerful and life transforming. It gives meaning to the lives we lead. It gives the joy to celebrate the Life we live. Camila and Alan have New Life in their lives but they don’t know how to process this growing knowledge and meaning of God’s Love. We can testify to them that we can see this powerful New Life growing in them. They know that we can see it. They can see this New Life growing in our lives too. Perhaps this is why Camila insists that we helped her a lot. We have done nothing but thankfully God has given us the grace to recognize the New Life in her and many others like her. Maybe this is our mission as Christians in this world. We have to allow this New Life in our souls to shine so that those who have encountered the Transfigured Christ will know that it is something real and eternal.

He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’ Matthew 13:31-32

We live in a new neighborhood. Our route to where we meet the children is different now. Our walk now is extended to forty minutes. It may seem like a long time but it is not uncommon here. Most people don’t have cars. Almost everyone in our apartment building doesn’t own one. We are all pedestrians. Besides, the walk is quite interesting but definitely not beautiful. In fact, it is full of ugly and disturbing scenes even though there is some beautiful architecture splattered along the way. We have to pass an area that was notoriously known as the “Mouth of the Trash”, although this nickname has been dropped recently because it is not good for tourism. The area is still not good for tourism but that doesn’t stop the local government from promoting it. Like I said before, it is an interesting but slightly disturbing walk.

The area has changed a lot over the past decade. In the past, there were gambling dens and brothels, not to mention shootouts over the control of these. Most of the gambling places have been shut down. The brothels are still around but thankfully no more shootouts. As for the odd and suspicious characters, they are still around. Many are crack addicts. They usually clump together to use their poison. It is quite sad. It is even sadder when we meet someone among them. This was the unfortunate case. It was a young teen whom we used to meet with the other homeless children. He was begging outside a convenience store and saw us. His first reaction was precious. He waved at us and gave us a big beautiful smile. No one could resist this spontaneous welcome. He was emaciated and dressed in filthy apparel. Anyone seeing him would immediately identify him as a crack addict. I could not hide my sadness and he picked up on it. We spoke for a few seconds and almost immediately he emotionally shut down. He started staring at the floor and asked us to let him be. I was taken aback but decided to respect his wishes. We shook his hands and left him alone. I was a little offended naturally. It bothered me as we walked the rest of the way to our destination.
I was more bothered by the fact that he asked us to leave than his present state. I suppose that it is a very human reaction. None of us like outright rejection.

We had planned to visit some of the youth who have managed to rent rooms in the center. It may seem like they have left their homeless situation. The fact is that the only change is that they are sleeping in a tiny room but they continue to live like they did when they were in the streets. This again is the major difference a person who spent their infancy homeless and an adult who became homeless. Our children and teens have no or very little memory of living in a sheltered place. They never had a real home where they can go to rest and be safe from the world. For them, this concept is foreign. The rooms they rent are just for sleeping after they spend the night in the streets.

When we arrived there, there was about ten of them squeezed in a room about 11 square meters ( 100 square feet for those not familiar with the metric system). It is more like a cubicle than a room. They pay more for it for square foot than we do for our apartment. The whole system is very unjust but this is not part of today’s story. There were about ten of them squeezed into this tiny room and every space was taken. They were all sleeping except for one who opened the door. He couldn’t even open the door fully for fear of hitting someone sleeping on the floor. It was Daniel.

I mentioned Daniel recently. I won’t repeat myself here but just say that he just got out of prison about two weeks ago. He was absolved of all crime which means that he has a clean record. We have known this boy since he was ten and now he is just turned 21 a few weeks ago. Daniel came and out gave us a big hug. Our voices were heard by the neighbors and a curious young boy ran out to see us. From his disappointed look, we assumed that he was expecting someone else. He looked like a child of an immigrant. Daniel said something to him and he ran away. We went to the area where everyone hung their laundry. We found a spot in between the clothes to talk. Some people even looked out of the window to make sure that we were not some dubious characters trying to steal their clothes. We passed the test.

Daniel told us that he was trying to reconnect with his family. He is staying with his twin sister. He comes to the streets to see his friends for a few days a week. He misses them. This is quite understandable. Most of the youth with whom Daniel grew up in the streets are not involved in crime. They use drugs but not hard drugs. He shared briefly about his time in prison without going into too much detail. He said that it was a place full of hatred and bitterness. He told himself never again. The charges were dropped because the victim did not want to press charges. She was a foreign tourist. Daniel felt that he was given a new chance and he was grateful to God for it. As we talked, it became obvious that Daniel’s major motivation to stop doing crime was the fear of punishment. This might be a good thing for the world. However, it does not suffice for the Kingdom of God.

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” Matthew 12 : 43-45

I shared this parable with him. We explained that it was not enough just to have a clean house but we need to fill it with new life-giving things. He was confused. He asked if a person who stopped doing bad things can still end up in hell. I understand where he is coming from. In the streets, we hear a version of Christianity preached by itinerant preachers. It is a message of a punitive religion. There is hardly anything about the Kingdom of God. It is just about cleaning one’s house. We don’t need the gospel to clean our house; psychotherapy, medication, and many other resources are available to do the job. The Gospel is not about house cleaning. It is about New Life. It is about living the reality of Jesus in our everyday life. I explained to Daniel that St Paul tells us that new life means those who once stole now ought to do good things with their hands. The victim did not testify against him but he still did something that was damaging to his soul. He hurt someone else deliberately. Daniel listened carefully. I know that he did not fully comprehend. It will take time to sink in and we are not in a hurry. We have spent ten years with this young man. Maybe it might be another ten years. For now, we can see a small seed is planted. He is thinking about what it means to go beyond having a clean house.

We prayed together and before we left, I told him about the boy we met that told us to leave him alone. Daniel shook his head and said, “That was the drugs talking.” Now it was Daniel’s turn to teach me about the Kingdom of God. I had been thinking about how hurtful his words were and I forgot to look at him with compassionate eyes. The poor boy is suffering and he could not handle the scrutiny of our eyes even though we were not judging him. His own conscious was tormenting him. I missed it because my eyes did not see and my ears did not hear. Thankfully Daniel’s simple words brought me back to reality. Daniel insisted on walking out with us and just as we said our goodbyes, he gave us a big hug and said that he was glad we could have our talk together. He promised to call us again soon.

The Kingdom of God is present and real every where. Usually in the small everyday things and common interactions with people whether these are good or bad. Sometimes we miss it because we forget how to look for it. It is perceived through compassionate eyes.

And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?” He answered, “An enemy has done this.” The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?” But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:27-30

It is the school vacation in Brazil. The local government has spent months prior “cleaning up” the area for the tourists. Coincidentally the area where we meet with the children is also where this largest city in South America was founded. There is a minute monument to indicate the center point where the city started all its construction. They call it “marco zero” and frankly speaking I can’t find an appropriate term for it in English. Let’s just call it the “center point”. It’s an obligatory photo spot for social media fanatics. Just a few months ago, anyone with their mobile phone out would have lost it within seconds, not to mention gold chains and other valuables. Now we have about twenty police standing around this tiny monument. Besides these, we have tons of them on motorcycles doing their rounds. All the homeless adults were made to leave the area even though it is common knowledge that the homeless adults are not prone to criminal activities. The ones who steal are usually the children and teens, more precisely some of our children and teens. Now the homeless are scattered around somewhere in the area. The children and teens are not allowed to be seen at all. At the present state, one would easily think that are no children and teens sleeping in the streets. Just a few months ago, there were at least a couple of hundred of them.

Ever since last year, we have seen an influx of children from the orphanages here. They came in loads and eventually dominated the scene. Children have a different way of behaving in the streets than the homeless adults. These have a history of family life and many have held jobs before. They tend to bring all these experiences to the streets. Our children start from zero. In a way, the fact that they live and sleep around “center point” is symbolic. This is where our children construct their understanding of human relationships and ethics from zero. Their first instances in the street are always chaotic. They behave like the children from Golding’s book, “Lord of the Flies”. However, this is not the moment to judge them. The weeds and wheat look the same at this point. It is hard to tell. Nevertheless, it is good to remember that there are weeds present. It is a dreadful mistake to romanticize the situation and say that they are all wheat. This attitude might sound beautiful and compassionate but it is a recipe for future disappointment and frustration. It is good to listen the wisdom of Jesus. He prepares us for real life and not life as we would like it. There are always weeds among the wheat.

Needless to say, with the all children going into hiding, our work has become a little complicated. However, this is a cycle we have encountered before. The government is not geared towards solving long term problems. They are satisfied with short term solutions and violence and brute force are the way they achieve it. The cycle starts every few years. The government sends the police to flex their muscles hoping that all the deep rooted societal problems will disappear. It is an illogical process but adopted by many nations. We know that things will soon return back to the state it was before. Despite all this, we still meet a few of the children everyday. In a way, it gives us a chance to spend more quality time with a smaller group. However, it still makes us curious to know where all the two hundred or so children and teens have gone. The ones we manage to find tell us that they spend the whole day wandering around the center. Some sleep under the bridge until it is evening. It still doesn’t account for many. We have enquired if some have decided to return to the orphanage but no one can give us an answer on the matter. We decided to wait for them in the area. They can always find us here.

There is always lots of yelling and noise in the streets. We usually just ignore it but this time I felt that someone was yelling for our attention. We turned around and a tiny boy appeared on a bicycle. Even though he is still a rather small fellow, he was even tinier a few months ago. His name is Lucas. He can’t be more than ten. He was one of the new immigrants to the streets from the orphanages. I always thought that he suffered from autism. Usually he is completely unaware of people around. Many times he walked passed us without saying a word. His face always was void of emotion. However, now he was smiling and he even gave us a hug and gave Mary an affectionate peck on the cheek. He looked all clean and healthy. He claimed that he was back home. We are not sure what this meant. We knew that he always was in an orphanage. Maybe the orphanage meant home for him. We asked him some questions but his mind wasn’t able to process a coherent answer. Still it was good to see him and was even more special that he called out after us. He asked where we have been the past two weeks. I was surprised that he noticed our absence. We were around but he did not see us and immediately assumed that we were away. It makes senses in a way especially for someone like him. Lucas went off without saying goodbye. We are used to it. I still wonder if this cute little boy would be considered a weed or wheat. His adorable appearance hides the fact that he is an expert pickpocket and thief; one that would make Dicken’s the Artful Dodger look like an amateur.

Many in this city will say that all our children are weeds. The government considers all the homeless adults and children in this area to be weeds. This is why they removed them from the area. Now the area seems clean but it is also appears to be dead and sterile. All the life here is gone because of some weeds.

Some people consider a dandelion to be a weed. In many cultures people eat them and considere them to be beneficial plants for our health. Lamentably, many people go after them with a vengeance and discard them as useless plants because they fail to understand their importance. Just because we think something is a weed it doesn’t mean it is. Therefore, we need to know the difference between weeds and wheat. Normally, weeds just take the nutrients without producing any fruit whereas wheat produces fruit which we consider beneficial for life. Of course, this leads us to the problem of defining what it means to produce fruits.

We live in a result oriented world or at least most of us do. I used to think of fruits as results. To be honest, this idea still lingers in me. However, Jesus did many things which did not produce results. For example, He healed many and cast out demons but it did not save him from being accused falsely and crucified. Jesus never did miracles to prove His divinity. He did them to bring abundant life to those who were ill and downtrodden. Since Jesus is our example, it would be wise for us to consider fruits as something we produce to make life more joyful and fulfilling, not just for ourselves but for life in general. Nothing does this better than Love. Wheat are people who bring love to others in this life. They bring joy and peace to this world just like our Lord did and is doing. Weeds just feed on this love and does not produce anything to make life more abundant. To the contrary, sometimes they make it unpleasant and dreadful. In our life experience, many of us have encountered weeds and wheat. However, not everything that appears to be like a weed is a weed. Therefore, we should not waste our time trying to identify which is which. This is not our duty. Jesus loved everyone the same and many of them turned against him. He did not try to distinguish the weeds from the wheat. He loved them all the same. He is our example to live our lives like wheat.

There are many homeless weeds in the streets. There are many homeless wheat too. Thankfully, it is not our task to discern who is who. I am just grateful that a boy who apparently seemed oblivious to our existence said that he missed our presence. A simple statement which gave us hope and renewed our spirit. Maybe Lucas is a wheat after all.

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow.’ Matthew 13:1-3

We just moved to a new place. We rented an apartment a little smaller than our previous one. As a result, not everything was coming with us. We had to give up some things and surprisingly it wasn’t too difficult a process. It was about time we freed ourselves of certain things in order to embrace new and possibly better ones. I suppose this is going to happen more and more in the future. As we grow older, we won’t be able to carry so much as when we were young. Many things will have to be given up and eventually they will all be gone. However, this is not the present concern, for now, we have some rearranging. The old things are going to find a new places to occupy in our new apartment.

We couldn’t find a proper place for our full length mirror. We decided to hang in the same place as in our previous apartment: in the hallway. This way we can take one last look at ourselves before we leave for the streets. After all who wants to go out of their house looking like a slob. However, there is something strangely symbolic too. It is there to remind us to look at ourselves first before we start looking at others. One thing is obvious though. When I look at myself in the mirror, I realize that I have changed a lot. I have more gray hairs and look much older than I feel. I don’t mind it and it wouldn’t matter if I did. I have no control over it. There has been some major changes in me spiritually, too. Our ministry has transformed us. I am happy to say this. After all, any spiritual endeavor is a venture to meet God and every encounter with God is transformative. I think I am beginning to have a better grasp of reality. This is important. We can only bear good fruits when we are grounded in reality.

Just as we were about to leave for the streets, we received a call from Daniel. For those who have accompanied us through the years, his name will be not unfamiliar. It will also not be a surprise when we say that he is definitely our favorite among the homeless youth. We have known him since he was ten. He just turned 20 a few weeks ago. We always had a strong connection with him. I would say that he is one of the sweetest homeless youth but not necessarily the wisest. He is an intelligent young man. However, intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing. In his teens, he spent some time in the juvenile detention but only on one occasion. This is quite rare for most of the children and teens. He did not commit any crime. He went into the public bathroom and two other teens went in after him with stolen items. Daniel came out and was arrested. Much later the victim said that he wasn’t the perpetrator and he was released after six months without any charges. Recently, he was arrested again. Unfortunately, this time he went to regular jail. His crime was his poor choice of companions. He spent three months in prison awaiting trial. Eventually he was absolved from all charges and released a week ago. We haven’t seen him for months. He told us that he was living with his twin sister and was going to figure out what do with his life. He wants to do something better with his life. It is a noble attempt and one in which we encouraged. The reality is that it is not going to be an easy task. In all likelihood, he will not to be able to do this on the first try even though he has good intentions. It will be a long journey. This is fine. Everything good takes time and patience. It is important he reached out to us. However, we did not say all this to him. He had something to say to us. He wanted us to know that he always treasured and loved us. It was completely unexpected. Nevertheless, it was something that we really needed to hear. We were worried that being in prison might have had a negative effect on Daniel. We have seen this happen many times among the other youth. They usually come out worse than when they entered. However, Daniel is a different kind of soil. He has shown over the years that there is much love in his heart. There are always good fruits flowing out of this young man despite the unfavorable situations.

Before we left the house, I took a good look at the mirror and asked myself, “what kind of soil am I?” Unlike Daniel, I have always been in a good and favorable environment for most parts of my life. Most of the time, I have been concerned about creating favorable situations rather than bearing good fruits. Of course, there has always been some confusion about the fruits. I was taught in my early years in the church that fruits were winning souls for Christ. Now, there is an older person in the mirror. I am mature enough to know that no one wins anyone over to Christ. Jesus calls them through the Spirit. The Only Person who is able to conquer the hearts and minds of people is the Holy Spirit. Therefore, what are the fruits which we are supposed to bear? There are tons of pat answers for this inquiry but the man in the mirror is old enough to know that there are no easy answers. However, the solution will not come if I keep staring at the mirror. It is time to leave the building.

We still can walk to where we meet the children and teens. The only difference is that now it is a forty minute walk. The exercise will be beneficial for us. Besides, it is an interesting walk but not necessarily a pleasant one. We have to pass some areas which remind us why we are here. There are crack addicts scattered around. Tons of homeless people and lots of unpleasant stenches. The addicts don’t bother anyone but they are still a disturbing and tragic sight. Usually it is hard to walk by the homeless adults without someone begging for money. It gets a little difficult because we feel like callous and hard hearted people when we refuse to give anything. However, on an average we pass about twenty people or more begging for money. It is enough to make anyone go broke. Besides some people just think of us as a bank machine. They forget that we are also human beings. The process of dehumanization is a two way street.

The homeless children and youth are not very different. I mentioned that there are about hundred to two hundred children and teens sleeping in the streets where we minister. However, most of them don’t treat people outside their own circles like human beings. Consequently, people who walk past the area treat the children like dangerous wild animals. There is a lot of dehumanizing going around. Perhaps, in this environment, it becomes clearer and more obvious what it means to bear fruit for the Kingdom of God. We have to figure out the kind of fruits which best reflect the true meaning of the Kingdom in the environment we find ourselves. It is quite pointless to listen to the preacher or theologian living thousands of miles away from our reality giving us their opinions on spiritual fruits. We have to figure it out in the reality we find ourselves. Maybe bearing fruits has to do with listening intently to the voice of the Holy Spirit. We can not afford to outsource this essential part of our spirituality. This is my opinion. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves.

We are still not accustomed to walking forty minutes to work. I mean it is not terrible but we do get a little tired when we get to our destination. We found a old familiar face which we haven’t seen for a long time where the kids hangout. His name is Wagner. He is an eccentric fellow. It is worth telling his story for another time. He is part of triplets and all of them have lived in the streets since their early childhood. Wagner is about 25 now. He stays more with the homeless adults than the teens. When he saw us, he shouted out aloud as if to announce to everyone; “After all these years they are still at it doing the same thing. What patience!!!” I will take it as a compliment. It could go the other way. Maybe he thinks that we are wasting our time. The other homeless adults smiled and gave us their nods of approval. However, I disagree with Wagner. It is not the same things exactly. The same people or group, perhaps, but it is always different. There is always something new to learn.