Love

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A Letter from Florida

Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.-Matthew 18:5

I have been carrying a letter in my bag for the past couple of days. It was sent about two months ago. We have been waiting for the right moment to share its contents with Ruan. There are several reasons for the delay. Our month of absence meant that we needed to reacquaint ourselves with the children. The children have a unique way of perceiving prolonged absence. Living in the streets changes the way they sense the passing of time. Everyday is the same for them. There are no holidays or weekends. They build relationships with people based on familiarity. The more they see someone, the stronger they bond they forge with the person. Familiar faces become their sense of security. We are part of this secure environment. However, our absence disturbed this fragile construction and they eventually begin to think that we are not part of their social fabric. As a means of self-preservation, they get accustomed to our absence and move on with life. Our return requires them to make readjustments once more. There is not much resistance to this but it still takes time. To help this process, we keep doing the old activities we did with them to assure them that nothing has changed. It was crucial that nothing radically new is introduced at this time. This is why I have kept this letter all this time. This letter as simple as it is is going to introduce new dimension into our relationship. It is important that it is presented at the right time.

Ruan was nowhere to be found. However, we did find the others and we went to the courtyard nearby and sat there and just talked. We have been having more moments like this for which we are immensely grateful. Then, out of nowhere, Ruan appeared. He wanted to be included in our activities immediately and it did not matter what we were doing as long as he could be part of it. Most of us have grown accustomed to Ruan’s childish demands and everyone just laughed and told him to wait like the rest. He did not mind. He just wanted to announce his presence. He then proceeded to take a bottle of paint thinner and started to sniff it. We told him not to do its because we wanted him to have a clear mind when he is with us. To our pleasant surprise, he put it away and sat down with us. This was the first time he has done this.

Mary was playing a game of checkers with one of the boys. Ruan wanted to play the next game with her. I took this opportunity to take him aside. I told him that I had something for him but there was need for some explanation. Ruan knows that we are from the church but he never asks too many questions about us. Recently, he has been more open about his feelings towards us. He does not hide the fact that he likes being with us. Last week for instance, he spent a few hours with us even though he was itching to go out and beg for a snack. However, he knew that once he left us he would get too distracted to return. He stayed until his hunger pangs got the better of him and then he took off, promising that he would try to return. He never did. It doesn’t matter. It was good enough for us to know that he wanted to spend as much time with us as possible.

I shared about the churches in the States and the people who are praying for him, not only him but for the others as well. It was the first time I shared this with any child. Not because they would disapprove but we wanted them to understand that the prayer was a first step towards relationship building. Ruan wouldn’t have understood what I was saying several months ago. Our relationship with him has opened the doors for him to have relationships with others in the church. The letter, I continued, is a fruit of this prayer. It was written by a grandmother in Florida. To be precise, it was a Christmas card but it didn’t matter to Ruan. He has never written or received a Christmas card in his life. I asked Ruan if he wanted me to translate the letter. He nodded in approval. I could see in his face that he was processing everything that I have just said. The author of letter shared how she received his name and what prompted to pray for him specifically. She made it plain and simple that it was the Holy Spirit. The Spirit stirred her heart to her connect with him. In closing, she asked if she could pray for Ruan as if he was her grandson. Ruan listened intently to what was written. I asked what he thought about this grandmother praying for him like a grandson. He became a little timid at this point and nodded his head to say, “yes”. I take it that it meant ‘yes’ that he wanted her to pray for him in this way. It was a short letter and it said everything that was needed to be said. I kept the card in its envelope and asked him what I should do with it. He wanted me to keep it for him because it would be safer. However, he stressed that he wanted it back one day so that he could keep it safely in his house. Ruan usually goes home for a few weeks a year. Even though he hardly stays at home, it was a symbolic way of saying that this letter is going to be one of his treasures. Then he asked where was this person living. When he heard the words, “Florida”, it dawned upon him that this letter came from thousands of miles away. His face lit up and immediately he transformed before my eyes from Ruan the street kid to Ruan the little boy. His eyes widened and there was huge smile on his face and he said, “You mean someone all the way from Florida wrote to me!” I guess that when I told him about churches in the States were praying for him, it did not register. They sounded abstract but the letter was something real and concrete. It showed the reality of the connection between him and Florida.

I asked him if he would like to write a letter to her. He said, ‘yes’. However, it wasn’t a convincing affirmative. Then I realized that Ruan comes for generation that perhaps has no clear understanding what is a letter. I haven’t received a written letter ever since e-mail came into the picture. Ruan never lived in a time where there was no internet. I rephrased my question. I asked him if he would like to say something to her some time. He smiled and nodded his head. I told him that I would help him. Ruan was visibly happy and he stayed longer than usual with us this day. We were playing a game when a man in a wheelchair passed us by. Ruan then told us that his step-father was a paraplegic as well. I already knew this from another source but this was the first time I heard it from Ruan himself.

I was initially planning to write a post about doing ministry beyond the idea of success and failure. Then I read the letter to Ruan. I think that this interaction with him would better describe why any Christian ministry cannot be defined on success and failure. These standards are imported into the Christian ethos from the world. They look at temporal results. The gospel deals with eternity. Our goal is help the children be conscious of an eternal reality. A simple letter opened up Ruan’s world, but not just his world, but also the world of it’s author. A grandmother who perhaps will never meet Ruan in this reality has gained a grandchild for eternity. The world does not possess the vocabulary to express the beauty of this reality. It cannot define it in its narrow view of success and failure. It goes beyond what is imaginable in this world. The gospel does things like that.

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Love is a Gift

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

We just received news that Igor was fired from his job.

Seemingly, everything was going well. Igor liked his job and was beginning to get excited about his future. He even considered going to night school to complete his high school education. Then suddenly, we received this disturbing news. We did not hear this from him directly. One of his friends told us about it. We walked past where he worked and sure enough, he was not there. We went home little sad and disappointed that day. We wanted the best for Igor and this job was the right step towards this direction. Now, we were concerned that he might give up on everything.

We went to the project where Igor was living the very next day. As usual, we waited in the lobby as the staff went to get him. Then we heard some footsteps coming down the stairs and it was Ana Paula. She greeted us with a broad happy smile and sat down beside us. We were little surprised by her cheerfulness. We asked her about Igor’s job and she did not appear to know that Igor got fired. She thought that he had given up on his work. After a brief moment of silence, she asked us a surprising question. She wanted to know if we liked Igor. We were a little taken aback. I told her that I hoped that it was obvious. Then she rephrased her question. She wanted to know if we considered him like a son. This was still a strange question and I was trying to read between the lines. I think that she is intrigued by our relationship with her and Igor. She was trying to figure out what motivates us to care about them.

Ana Paula wanted to know if we are especially interested in them because we do not have any children. She was trying to find out if we were fulfilling our paternal desire by caring for them. Well, we are old enough to be their parents. However, paternal desires did not bring us to Brazil. It was something more profound and special. However, at that particular moment I was at a loss of words to express exactly why we are concerned and desire the best for her and Igor. Unfortunately, before we could bring this interesting conversation to an end, Igor came down and the subject was changed almost immediately. We were curious as to why he lost his job.

Igor missed a day of work without informing his boss. He said that he had a good reason. He went to pick up his two year old daughter for the weekend. Ana Paula and Igor lost custody of their child when they were living in the streets. Recently, they gained visitation rights on the weekends. This is just trial period. If they are able to honor these visits for a period of time, the judge might grant them full custody when they move to a place of their own. This is their goal. For Igor, this is one of the most important goals of his life. Unfortunately, Igor does not understand how employment works. He does not know how to prioritize his time, as well as his responsibilities as an employee. I cannot really say that he doesn’t know how to do it because this would imply that he is disorganized. This is not the case. Igor is not aware of what he needs to do as an employee. He knows how to do the work but about the relationship between an employee and employer, he has no idea. He thinks of his employer as a friend. All his life, his relationships are based on friendships. He has never had a relationship with his parents; they died when he was eight and everyone he knows are his friends. He does not understand the concept of having varieties of relationships.We take these things for granted, but most of us learn these things through examples of our parents. One of the roles of parents is to teach us how to relate to the world.

Igor knows how to survive in the streets. In the streets, what was in front of him took precedence. Everyone living in the streets understood this. Naturally, Igor thought that his boos would understand as well. He was disappointed when his boss fired him. He thought that his boss was unreasonable. It was not the right time to tell Igor that he was wrong. It was just time to listen. We have to listen to know what Igor knows and doesn’t know. We can only be his guide if we allow him to show us how to do it.

Ana Paula was perceptive. Igor needs parent-like figures to help him navigate in this world. Perhaps, this is why she asked us if we thought of them as our children. They both need some parental guidance. However, we are not here to be their parents even though this might be the role for this particular period of their lives. One day, they will not need us in this role and we hope that we can still be part of their lives. Our relationship is not defined by roles but it is defined by a gift. This gift does not have a time limit or a specific role. This gift is a gift that keeps expanding. This gift is none other than Love.

We did not generate this gift. We received this gift and each gift comes with a certain responsibility. This is why sometimes it is harder to give away something than to sell it. When we buy something, we don’t have any responsibility to the one who sells it to us. However, Love can only be received as a gift. We cannot receive it without being inspired by its Giver. The Giver shares His gift openly and generously to the world. He gives the gift so that we can do the same. The gift itself becomes more meaningful and powerful each time we share it. In fact, its true value is only appreciated when we share it. Each time we share it, we discover its magnitude and intensity. It opens our eyes to see the beauty of the Giver present in the lives of others. It is not our desire to fulfill certain roles that brought us here. It is this gift that enables us to see the beauty and power of the Great Gift-giver working in the lives of Igor and Ana Paula.

I am not sure that Ana Paula would understand my answer. This answer is perhaps just for me to understand what motivates me to be here.

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Waiting for the Right Time

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”- Mark 1:15

Recently, I watched a youtube instructional video on playing the classical guitar. The very first instructions were to just hold the guitar without playing its strings. This was quite hard because my first instinct is to start strumming on the strings. Just as I was trying to resist the temptation to do this, the instructor said that the problem with many students is that they want to play immediately when they grab the guitar. He seemed to be looking at me when he said this. According to him, this impatience leads to bad habits and poor playing. He emphasized that it was essential for us to know and understand the instrument before rushing into playing it. We were instructed to feel the strings and then to think about what we are going to do and how we are going to do it mentally. Once we get all the steps figured out mentally, only then are we ready to begin. It doesn’t mean that we are going to play beautifully right away. It just means we are ready to begin.

Jesus waited for thirty years before he preached his first sermon on the Kingdom of God. Throughout his ministry, Jesus emphasized in subtle as well as explicit ways the importance of waiting. He did not just wait passively. He submitted Himself to the process of waiting. When he was baptized against the protest of John the Baptist, Jesus said that it was the appropriate way for the time being. John was right; Jesus should be baptizing him instead. However, the waiting process demanded otherwise. Waiting can mean doing things that apparently make no sense to those around us. Jesus spent a bulk of his life as a carpenter. It is strange that there is no explicit reference to his experiences as a carpenter in his teaching. In fact, it seems like they were uneventful years. Why didn’t he start his ministry earlier and die on the Cross at a later age?

Jesus’ ministry did not end at the Cross. The Cross was the beginning of a new phase of His eternal ministry. It marked His transition from prophet and teacher to High Priest and King. As High Priest, He represents not only God to us but also He represents Humanity to God. His qualification to do this comes from the years He spent experiencing all the ups and downs of a regular human being. I guess being a carpenter is as normal as you can get during his time. Regular human life is full of challenges and struggles and everyone has their share of suffering. Jesus is not a High Priest of exceptionally complex cases. He is the High Priest of regular human beings in regular human situations.

He is a High Priest that truly understands human predicament and yet He was able to transcend it. He gives the mundane things in life a new meaning. They are not wasted experiences because they can point us to something that is eternal. Jesus saw that spending thirty years as a carpenter was important. It gave Him the tools to preach the Kingdom of God effectively to the world because He was able to see eternity in the mundane things. If we are unable to see the eternal present in the mundane things, then we won’t be able to preach the Kingdom of God effectively.

‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’-Matthew 25:23

We spend hours in our ministry apparently doing mundane things. Our children and teens are so detached from regular human society that doing these things with them brings them back into human society. However, it doesn’t just end there. These times spent with the children prepare the way for us to preach the Kingdom of God. Most important, they prepare us to discern the Eternal Presence of God in the mundane.

Our time of waiting is a time of training our eyes to see the eternal presence in the mundane.

It is easy to miss the importance of doing these mundane things in preparation to preach the gospel. One of the frustrating things for us is perhaps walking for miles searching for these children and teens. It is even worse on the days when we don’t find them. It is easy to feel as if we have wasted our time. However, occasionally some complete stranger comes to us and tells us that he has seen us walking around looking for the children and he wants to know what motivates us to do such things. The only answer we can give is that the Kingdom of God is here and we are here to testify of its goodness.

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Living in a Labyrinth

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.- John 1:4-5

Yesterday, we met one of the most insightful men living in the streets of Cracolândia. His name is Tin and has been a crack addict and homeless for many years. In fact, whenever there is a journalistic report on Cracolândia, his opinion is always quoted. Despite being down and out, Tin has a cheerful disposition and yet behind his cheerful demeanor lies a profound thinker. He told us once that the best way to describe Cracolândia was to think of it as a labyrinth. He explained that everyone who enters here loses themselves in this place and they don’t know how to get out. According to him, we are able to come here and leave because we have a cord attached to us that guides us back to the world outside. He went on to elaborate that everyone who entered here at one time had a cord attached to them to guide them back to the Light. However, the moment they lit up their first crack pipe, the cord was cut and they can no longer find their way home. One of the missionaries then said that since we have the cord attached to us still, perhaps we can help them to return home. Tin answered without any hesitation that those who live this labyrinth are used to the darkness and now they are afraid to follow people like us who can lead the way out because the light outside is too bright and painful for them to handle.

They have grown so accustomed to darkness that the Light is difficult for them to comprehend. The light becomes something frightful.

When I heard Tin’s insight, the words of the above gospel text became alive in a new way. I used to think that people rejected the Light because they hated the Light. The truth is that people are afraid of the Light. Perhaps they are afraid to see themselves in the Light. Tin has spent so much time in the darkness that he does not comprehend the goodness of being in the Light. He does not like the darkness.  He is just afraid of the Light.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.- 1 John 4:18

The only way fear can be overcome is through Love.  It is significant that Tin shared this insight with us. He thinks about his life. He is reaching out but he is afraid. Perhaps he wants to know if we are willing to guide him into the Light and help him overcome his fear of the Light. Our words alone do not suffice. Tin needs to see our love in action before he can trust us. Until then, we ask for your prayers. Continue to pray that the cord of Love that guides us to Cracolândia will be strong enough to guide people like Tin out into the gracious Light.

 

 

 

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